9 Years with the Marauders
by RoxanneReluisant
Summary: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1: Investigations

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius romance-centric. James/Lily. Warning! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: This takes place sometime early in the marauder's second year of school, after Halloween but before Christmas.

[][][][][][][][][]

"Oy, Remus, you're gonna miss breakfast." The curtain surrounding the boy's bed was yanked back. A pair of dark eyes narrowed in confusion, turning around to look at the boy next to him, a bit shorter and with glasses. "He's not here."

"Brilliant observation Sirius." The boy – James Potter – rolled his eyes.

The one called Sirius made a face and let go of the curtains. "Seems like he misses breakfast a lot. He's a growing kid like us you know. Needs the energy." He thumped his chest, causing James to roll his eyes a second time.

"James, Sirius! Isn't it time for breakfast, are we going?" A stocky blond poked his head into the dormitory where the other two were still standing in front of the empty bed.

"Yeah, Pete. We're going." Sirius stuck his hands in his pockets, glancing only once more at the empty bed before he followed Peter and James down to the Gryffindor common room. Everyone was gone, since classes would be starting in less than an hour, and breakfast would be over soon. James adjusted his book bag, but all Sirius had was a quill stuck behind one ear. James would lend him the paper and probably use of his book in their first few classes. Or Peter Pettigrew – the blond – would.

They got to the Great Hall just in time to see most of the students filing out. Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Probably nothing left but fruit and eggs."

"Yes, Merlin forbid you eat some fruit." James retorted as he sat at the Gryffindor table and grabbed a banana, cracking the peel and starting to eat.

"Not if I'm to keep my svelte physique." Sirius responded, jabbing James in the rib and nearly causing him to choke on the banana.

Sirius' eyes kept flickering to the door, waiting for Remus to appear. It seemed almost like clockwork the brunette would vanish one morning, sometimes making it to breakfast, sometimes missing their first class altogether, and looking like he'd slept in the Whomping Willow's sweet embrace.

But no, even though Sirius insisted they wait until only five minutes before class, Remus did not show up, and so the trio of James, Sirius, and Peter were forced to race to morning Transfiguration in order not to get in trouble. Sirius collapsed into the seat just as McGonagall turned away from the chalkboard, peering down her nose at Sirius and James, and barely sparing Peter – forced to sit one row behind because there were no more seats – from her intended disapproving gaze.

"You're very lucky you weren't delayed a moment longer." She said carefully.

Sirius and James nodded their heads in perfect unison, folding their hands on the table in front of them and looking the perfect picture of demure little second years. Peter did so as well, but belatedly and not as convincingly as the two boys in front of him.

Not ten minutes after she had started class however, the door opened and Remus Lupin stepped in. The twelve year old looked like a shrunken old man, sandy brown hair falling every which way and exhausted lines on his youthful face. He had a book bag over his shoulder, but it looked as though it was weighing him down even further. He barely made it to the last remaining seat beside Peter and directly behind James, sinking into it with careful movements.

Professor McGonagall had turned and watched him come in, but not with disgust or anger or even a hint of reproach. "And where have you been, Mr. Lupin?" She said, but it wasn't accusingly, more out of habit than anything else.

Remus looked up and cleared his throat, redness appearing around the edges of his ears. "Hospital wing, ma'am. I... wasn't feeling well this morning." He explained with a marked hesitance.

She was surprisingly satisfied with that excuse, and returned to beginning her lecture on their assignment for the day, turning teacups into mice. Sirius looked positively indignant, and James looked confused, looking at each other with bewilderment, and then over their shoulders at Remus, who was staring at the teacup and trying his hardest to keep his eyes open.

Finally after her lecture she let them go ahead and start their Transfiguring, James and Sirius turned around simultaneously to look at Remus. "Why did McWhiskers let you get off that easy?" Sirius demanded, waving his wand idly at the teacup but without any real interest in seeing a mouse appear on his table.

Remus shrugged, keeping his gaze on the teacup as he swirled his wand over it. "I don't know. Maybe because she knows I did the homework for last night?" He commented, almost with boredom.

Sirius shrugged one shoulder. "I read the book chapter." He said in his own defense.

"Liar. I read it out loud last night cause you claimed you had insomnia." James said, as the teacup sprouted whiskers and a tail in front of him.

Sirius grinned. "And it worked, didn't it? Slept like a baby." His teacup now had a tail, but unlike James' it wasn't twitching in the slightest. "Aw man, I think I'm Transfiguring a dead mouse." He complained, turning a bit more towards his table. James already had a recognizable mouse, though the porcelain handle coming out of the back was a bit disturbing.

Remus sighed. At least with Sirius complaining he wouldn't ask -

"So why were you in the Hospital Wing?" Peter piped up, his teacup still... teacup-shaped.

Remus winced as he felt James and Sirius return their attention to their friend, obviously also listening for the answer to this question. He managed a weak smile and shrugged one shoulder. "Woke up with a headache, decided to go and get it checked out before classes." He said casually.

"And Pomfrey decided that the cure for a headache was a troll attack?" Sirius said dismissively, making the red reappear on Remus' face.

Remus scowled and prodded his teacup, which squeaked in horror and sprouted a set of legs, which it then used to attempt to escape. Peter caught it clumsily, holding the thing in place until Remus grabbed it and tried to calm it down. "No. It was just a headache."

"You've got interesting headaches then." James said, just as McGonagall appeared again to observe their progress. By this point James was holding an actual mouse, Sirius had a mouse head and tail coming out of the teacup, Remus had managed to handle ears and a tail as well as the feet, and Peter had a teacup with a patch of grey fur. She praised James of course and looked at Sirius and Remus with a _you can do better_ expression, before merely sighing at Peter and moving on.

At the end of class Remus got up and headed for the door, almost not waiting for James and Sirius, who were busy trying to catch James' mouse to try and release later in the common room. Peter waited patiently, and Remus eventually paused by the door. "We're going to be late for History of Magic." He called out wearily.

"Like Professor Dustbins will notice us." Sirius said, before pouncing on the floor and scooping up the mouse, shoving it into James' bookbag and catching up with Remus, smacking him on the shoulder.

Remus collapsed into the wall as Sirius hit him, and instantly James and Sirius rushed over, James dropping his bag and not noticing as the mouse went scurrying off. "Remus!" James said with concern.

He was up off the floor again quite quickly, but he didn't look sturdy. Sirius took his book bag from him, frowning. "I didn't hit you that hard."

"I know that!" Remus' usual cool snapped for a moment and he clutched his shoulder. "I'm fine, really. I... lost my balance." He moved his hand from his shoulder and Jame snatched his wrist.

"Blimey Remus, you're bleeding!" The hand touching the shoulder had a circle of crimson wetness at the palm, and Sirius looked truly bothered.

"I didn't hit him that hard." He repeated.

"Let's go back to the Hospital Wing." James insisted. "Dustbins can wait."

Remus looked reluctant, then took his book bag back, putting it on his other shoulder. "I'll go myself. See you in a bit." He said, heading off down the hall in the opposite direction as class, while James and Sirius mentally debated over whether or not to follow him. James eventually shrugged and pulled Sirius off towards class.

Remus didn't appear at all in History of Magic, which was unfortunate because he was the only one to actually take notes in that class. Even James spent most of the class drawing on his parchment, only writing down certain parts that their ghostly teacher actually got "enthusiastic" about. If that was the right word for it.

"What do you think is wrong with him?" Sirius questioned near the end of class, Remus still not having come back into the picture after stalking off.

James shrugged and chewed on the end of his quill. "Dunno. He never tells us."

Sirius slid further into his chair and stuck his lower lip out slightly. "He's gone at least once a month, comes back looking like a Dementor snogged him, plus he gets all tetchy."

James barely managed another shrug before it was finally time to go, looping his bag over his shoulder and heading out into the hall again. "He's sick a lot. That isn't a crime, Sirius."

"But it is a mystery." Sirius pointed out with a smirk. James looked at him, knowing the expression on his face.

"Fine." James allowed, and Sirius' grin grew even more excited, if that was possible.

"What are we doing?" Peter had been listening silently this whole time, but now spoke up, not understanding the telepathic language that Sirius and James seemed to share.

Sirius tapped the side of his nose. "Investigating."

[][][][][][][][][][]

"Oh Gob id hurds!" Sirius whined melodramatically, his hands over his face. Blood was leaking out between his fingers. "I dink by node id brogen."

"Would you hold still Mr. Black!" Madam Pomfrey sighed in exasperation as Sirius wriggled around, trying to avoid showing her his nose.

"I cand feel by node!" He protested, and she eventually pried it away, only seeing a very bloody nose.

"It's not broken, will you stop whining. It just looks like a bad nosebleed, that's all. What did you say you did?" She said, waving her wand over his nose. Immediately the bleeding stopped.

"I uh... oh, that's much better, thank you." Sirius said happily, moving his hands away. She muttered a _scourgify_ at them and they were cleaned. "I was trying to Transfigure my uh... my friend's owl into a Bludger and it hit me in the face." He sniffed lightly, and Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes.

"Well, I think you'll be fine. Looks like a bit of swelling and bruising, nothing that can't go down all on its own. Take this for the pain." She handed him a small bottle of potion and he dutifully slugged it down, making a gargling noise at the taste. "Anything else, Mr. Black?"

He peered back at the rows of beds, frowning. "Is uh... Remus Lupin in here?"

She gazed at him curiously. "No, no he's not. He left some time ago. Why?"

"I was just thinking... he would be a good tutor for the Bludger thing."

"For future reference, turning a harmless owl into a ball that wishes to break your nose is not the best way to practice your homework." Madam Pomfrey said in a scolding tone, and Sirius quickly nodded his head and glanced at the beds again. One of them had the sheets piled at the end, evidently not taken by a house-elf yet, and the white sheets were obviously dotted with what looked like blood.

"Was he okay?" Sirius questioned casually, inching towards the door in case she grew angry with his line of questioning.

She sighed. "Mr. Lupin is just fine. I sent him to lunch, where you should be going before you miss it. And eat more vegetables, Mr. Black, nothing but bread will not help you grow up nice and strong!" She raised her voice at the last bit because Sirius was already heading out the door and running for the Great Hall.

James had been waiting outside, and he rolled his eyes as he jogged after his friend. "Owl into a Bludger?"

Sirius snorted, then winced as it aggravated his still sore nose. "I was thinking on my feet."

"I'm surprised you know how to think at all sometimes."

"Shut up. You didn't have to hit me with the Jinx so hard, by the way. My nose is going to hurt all day."

"I've been waiting ages to see if it would work properly, I just got a bit excited." James said nonchalantly, and Sirius gave him a look that clearly spelled revenge.

"Use it on Snivellus next then." Sirius said after a moment, a certain amount of glee coating his tone. "With that great honker of his, he'll bleed out within minutes and we'll be saved forever from looking at his great ugly face. I'm pure genius!"

"You are pure something." James said as they raced to get to lunch, seeing Remus and Peter sitting next to each other at the Gryffindor table, with Peter having resolutely saved two seats for the arriving boys. Remus looked rather miserable.

"Remus, you're back." Sirius tried to sound excited, but only managed to sound a bit bewildered.

"Yeah, back." Remus smirked, but his heart wasn't in it, as he prodded the bit of chocolate pudding on his plate. James and Sirius shot each other a glance.

Remus never turned down chocolate pudding at lunch. He did of course eat his vegetables like a good little boy, but he always had the pudding, and sometimes he had seconds, which earned him a joking from the other boys. To see him now only poking at what was considered a highly sacred food in the Lupin diet, Sirius and James seemed to grow only more determined to figure whatever this was out.

James prodded Peter with his textbook and when the blond moved over he and Sirius sat on either side of Remus. Exactly at the same time, they loaded up their plates with food and then turned and stared at the sandy-haired youth, Sirius propping his chin on one hand as he looked over.

Remus continued to pick at the chocolate pudding, but he now seemed to sense that there were many eyes on him, and that those eyes seemed to be multiplying in intensity even though they only belonged to two people.

He ignored them, but even as they began to shovel food into their mouths Remus was pinned under an icy yet curious stare from both sides. Peter was also trying to join in, but it wasn't working out, he just didn't have the ability to look that calculating. Remus just knew that something horrible was going to happen if he didn't speak up, probably involving either his socks or his pillow and something indescribably smelly.

"... what do you two want." He eventually muttered, glancing at Sirius, who seemed more determined than James, and was easier to look straight in the eyes. He didn't have the same expression as James. Sirius was more like "I want to know because it fascinates me and I don't let things go that easily". James was "I want to know because I'm your friend, and I never abandon a friend in a time of need".

Sirius smirked. "Are you feeling better?" He asked patronizingly, making Remus' stomach curl up into a little ball of displeasure. He was letting that little bit of Pureblood into his tone. He didn't even know he was doing it though, which was what annoyed Remus the most. But when he wanted information or if he wanted to pull rank over the first years – not that they had a lot of rank being only second years themselves – he would get this little undertone to his voice, something that reminded Remus too much of Lucius Malfoy and his friends when they caught Remus at "their" table in the library.

He tore his gaze away and turned back to his pudding, then glancing over at James. James' gaze was also steady, and even worse Peter was behind him and attempting to copy the expression on Sirius, which would be perfectly impossible for Peter's pale round face. Remus actually felt the urge to laugh, which he killed quickly before it overwhelmed him. He sighed, set his spoon down, and grabbed his book bag.

"Leaving so soon?" James said casually, and Remus shrugged.

"You can be late to Charms if you want, but I heard Flitwick is giving us quizzes. You know if you don't take it, he'll just give you a great big pile of homework instead." Remus said lightly. The three boys – the last remaining at the Gryffindor table in fact – instantly rushed to shove as much food in their mouths as possible and race after Remus in an attempt to beat him to class.

[][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well there you are, chapter one. This is going to prove to be something I might not handle, but I'm determined to finish! Please review, and even suggest things you'd like to see in this fanfic, so that I can make it the best Marauders experience for everyone!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: as my constant advisor. Whenever I needed help, she was willing to crack open a book and research it for me. She is the only reason that I actually went through with this (so you can blame her if it falls through =D).

_J.K. Rowling_: for creating a universe and characters as wonderful and diverse as those within the Harry Potter world, and for making everyone love reading once again.


	2. Chapter 2: Excuses and Holidays

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius romance-centric. James/Lily. Warning! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: The period leading up to Christmas, and a bit of the Holiday break.

[][][][][][][][][]

Several weeks passed. Sirius and James let go of their sudden obsession, but Remus knew very well that it was simmering beneath the surface. The two friends never, _ever_, let something go. It was only a matter of time before they pressured him into talking again.

By the time that Remus felt the resurgence of their questions, the moon was waxing, only a few days were left until the full moon. He was feeling tired and cranky, as though his skin was stretched out too tight over muscle and bone. His three friends all looked at him as though he were holding a Howler about to explode any minute. Peter kept asking him if he was okay, and Sirius and James kept giving each other meaningful looks.

He barely made it through classes. On these few days of the month, he spent his classes in a stupor, too preoccupied with what was coming to actually focus on anything, even when Professor Chaunce was giving a rousing lesson on Shield Charms in Defense Against the Dark Arts. When classes were over, James insisted on seeing Remus' notes, only to find that Remus had written only three lines on his parchment. Remus tried to care that James seemed perturbed by this news, but was entirely unable to do so. Once they were all back in the common room, Remus excused himself, saying that he had to fetch some books to do homework. Once he was up in their dormitory however, he collapsed into bed, pulling the curtains around the four-poster and yanking the covers up over his head. The darkness was a relief, a sweet escape, and within moments he was asleep.

He didn't know how long it was until he stirred. And abruptly he was awake, as he realized that a huge weight was sitting on his legs. He scrambled with his blankets. A pile of dungbombs? A statue from one of the hallways? His brain quickly worked through all the options, things that either had happened to him already or had been threatened or just things he knew that Sirius and James would do without a second thought, until he managed to get all the covers off his head.

It was James actually, sitting on his knees. He stared at the bespectacled boy in bewilderment. Sirius was standing off to the side. Remus was immediately grateful that the larger one of the two wasn't sitting on him instead. His legs would be totally numb. He looked to both of them, and then Peter shoved his way into the staring contest, underneath Sirius' arm.

Remus was the first one to blink. "Uh... so... can I help you?"

Sirius grinned, and Remus felt very small all of a sudden. "Napping?"

Remus cleared his throat. "No. Uh... no, not at all. I couldn't find my wand."

James raised an eyebrow. "Looks like it's sitting just fine on the nightstand."

"Oh, how convenient." Remus said, trying to inject relief into his voice as he snatched it up. For a moment, he really wished he knew the Shield Charm now. This was why he always, _always _paid attention.

Peter snickered, and Remus wriggled ineffectively. James had given him no leverage to move his legs. He was stronger than James, he was pretty sure. But if he couldn't even move his legs, he couldn't knock the skinnier boy off. James' grin grew just as wide as Sirius' was, knowing that Remus was trying to get free.

Sirius raised his hand. He had a pile of parchment. Remus stared at it. After a moment his eyes widened as he realized that it was all the homework he had done in advance for the next four days – in order to be prepared for the full moon and the two days after - so he didn't have to worry about homework of all things. It had been five hours of constant work hiding in the far corner of the library so that Sirius and James wouldn't catch him.

"You went through my book bag?" Remus said, though that wasn't what he wanted to say. More like _get your bloody hands off my stuff!_ Although that would just encourage Sirius.

"We _may _have gone into your bag in order to see if you had the notes from History of Magic a few days ago." Sirius admitted, a fierce glitter in his eyes.

"And instead we discovered quite a lot of... what would you call it, Mr. Black?" James said calmly.

"I believe I would term it Preparation, Mr. Potter." Sirius nodded.

"Several days worth of Preparation then, Mr. Black." James agreed.

Peter giggled again. Remus felt a shiver go down his spine. He couldn't ask for it back. Sirius would only raise it above his head and play Keep-Away, a game used by both Wizarding and Muggle children alike with equal glee.

"Now why would Mr. Lupin require such... intense Preparation, Mr. Potter?" Sirius inquired, not really asking James anymore.

James shrugged one shoulder, shifting just enough so that he was now actually causing Remus pain by sitting on him.

"Get off." He hissed at James, wincing as prickles began in his toes from James cutting off his circulation.

"Why have you been doing extra homework and hiding it?" James asked, ignoring him.

"We'd like to get some kind of extra credit too you know." Sirius added.

Remus hated it when the two friends were like this. They had met on the train, back in first year. Remus had been snatched up mid-way through the year, after the two had already recruited Peter into their little club. But even though Peter and Remus were good friends with James and Sirius, there was a certain connection between the first two members of the group. Like brothers or even twins, they had a strange telepathy. They always knew what the other was thinking about. The raise of an eyebrow that was merely condescending to most could mean anything from "Dumbledore's beard is getting a bit long" to "Use that dungbomb in your pocket on the Slytherin table". Remus had managed to decode a bit of their strange language, but still, at times like these he really hated them.

"So Mr. Lupin? What is the cause of this... newfound motivation for schoolwork?"

"Are you planning on taking a holiday soon?"

Remus had to do something quickly. They were asking questions now, but not even caring about the answers. They would soon reach their own conclusions. He reached up to try and snatch the homework, and Sirius yanked it higher up.

"My mum is sick." Remus said suddenly, inserting as much pain into his voice as possible.

The three boys froze, and Remus chewed on his lower lip. He'd never been a good actor. Whenever there were tricks to be played, Remus never was able to confront a teacher with a straight face. But he lowered his eyes to the bed, hiding his expression, sure it would give him away.

"What?" Peter questioned in a high-pitched tone, cheeks turning pink.

"My. Mum. Is. Sick." Remus said slowly and angrily, scrunching up a bit. "That's where I was. I got hurt when... when she flailed around and nearly killed me. My dad had to fight the wand off of her. They sent me back to school, but I'm leaving again in a few days to go visit St. Mungo's. I'm doing the homework in advance, because McGonagall said she would give it to all my teachers."

James faltered. Sirius still seemed to want to finish this conversation, but his determination was fading. "You came back looking like flobberworm excrement!" He protested.

"I stayed up with my dad for two days because he was so worried. Neither of us went to sleep the whole time." This time when Remus grabbed for his homework it was given to him freely, and he adjusted all the papers neatly and set them aside. He huffed and looked at James accusingly. "Get off please, _Mr. Potter_." He said curtly. James jumped off his legs so quickly that he tumbled backwards, ripping a few inches of the curtains off of the top of the bed entirely. Remus huffed.

"_Reparo_." He pointed his wand at the curtains, and they affixed themselves to the rings on the bed once again. Then he reached down to rub at his legs, slowing feeling the prickling sensation coming back, and then heat curled through his toes once more. He sighed and sat up.

James and Sirius were looking at each other again. Remus got out of bed, adjusting his robes and glaring at Peter. The blond yelped and hid quietly behind Sirius, giving Remus enough space to move and pick up his homework again, carefully shoving it into his book bag. "I'm going to the library." He said, still keeping his face away. He actually had done it. He had fooled the great James Potter and Sirius Black! Oh if only he had someone to tell. He would have a good laugh about this on his own later. He stormed past the three boys and out of the dormitory, slamming the door behind him.

He stopped then, listening silently at the door. "_Sensus Magnus_." He muttered, and the voices from within became much louder, so that Remus could properly hear what they were saying.

"Do you think Remus is really angry with us?" Peter's shrill voice sounded worried.

Remus immediately imagined the scene. Sirius and James were probably using their "non-talk" language, while Peter looked scared and nervous. He rolled his eyes, he knew them too well already.

"Nah, he's probably just annoyed about his homework."

"You did copy it, didn't you James?" Sirius said pleadingly.

The boy outside the door scowled. That's all they were concerned about? His homework?

"But... you don't think he's angry?"

"Bah, Pete, don't be like that. Remus will know we were just wondering where he was and all." James sounded certain of that. "It's Sirius' fault anyway."

"My fault! Who was all 'Remus is our friend, we've got to find out what's wrong!'?" Sirius said, doing a formidable impression of James whenever he got "high and mighty". "Perfect little Gryffindor, needing to get into everyone's business because it's the right thing to do. Now he's probably not going to speak to us for a month."

"A month?" Peter squealed in fright. "But that Herbology exam-!"

"Both of you calm down. You sound like a bunch of girls." James was trying to be haughty, but he did sound nervous.

Remus hissed, "_Sensus Aequus_." The voices dulled again, and Remus left for the common room. Well at least that would silence their questions for a while.

He heaved his book bag over his shoulder and headed away from the dormitories and out of the portrait hole entirely. He decided to head to the library as promised. Sirius and James never went to the library unless Remus was giving them his homework. Peter might dare to go in alone, but he always got kicked out.

At least among his fellow intellectuals, Remus could find some kind of peace. Even if he was on the verge of taking another nap right in the middle of the hallway.

[][][][][][][][]

"Ah, Christmas!" Sirius slammed the door to the dormitory triumphantly. "A time when the castle is finally quiet!" He slumped onto his bed, yawning dramatically and peering over. Remus was reading a large book. _Ursula and the Unicorns_. Sirius recalled seeing it in the Fiction section once when he was planting... something for a first year. Remus was reading for _fun_. It was unbearable.

"Well it won't be quiet for much longer. I'm sure you two have something planned." Remus motioned to the bed next to his, where James was still snoring slightly. It was still pretty early. Sirius had woken up to see Peter off and to send a letter to his family to inform them he wasn't coming home. Remus had looked surprised that the other boy was even awake when Sirius had come back upstairs.

Sirius made his mouth into a perfect "o", looking scandalized. "Why Lupin, why do you so sincerely doubt my desire to have a pleasant Christmas here in Hogwarts?"

"Because you know very well that Severus is also staying. I'm sure half the reason you went down with Peter to the entrance was to make sure that he hadn't changed his mind." Remus said without even looking up from his book, one hand propping up the side of his head. He looked tired again. He'd gone to "take care of his mum" again a few days ago, and when he came back he'd looked just as exhausted and beaten up as usual. He even had a large bandage covering his cheek. Sirius had been afraid to ask, Remus just looked so tired and worn out.

"So how come you aren't going home?" Sirius threw himself his bed and looked over at Remus, who adjusted his wand on his lap to provide more light.

Remus shrugged one shoulder. "Dad wanted some time alone." He said, a hint of sadness in his tone.

Sirius fell silent. He was already bored. He had never actually been awake this early. James grunted and rolled over, and Sirius hopped off his bed and sat on the edge of James'. Remus was deliberately ignoring them both. Sirius grinned, bent over, and ran his tongue from James' chin to his forehead. James snorted and his eyes flew open, looking up at his friend. He looked utterly bewildered.

"Did you just...?" James asked, touching his face and widening his eyes.

"You have been asleep too long." Sirius ignored the question, getting up from his bed. "Either come play Exploding Snap or else I'm going to put a Pepper Imp in one pair of your underwear but I'm not going to tell you which one."

James wiped his face with his pajama sleeve, grabbing his glasses and shoving them on his nose in confusion. "What time is it?" He demanded.

"About half-past eight. The Hogwarts Express just left." Remus said monotonously, still not bothering to look up from his book.

"Sirius!" James threw his pillow at the back of Sirius' head, causing the cards that Sirius was dealing to explode.

"Argh!" Sirius cried. Remus reached forward and yanked the curtain around his bed closed as Sirius turned and tackled James, slamming him into the bed.

[][][][][][][][]

Christmas Eve. The Gryffindor common room was desolate, except for James and Sirius crouched in front of the fireplace, murmuring to each other. Remus was sitting on the couch a few feet away, curled up and nearly asleep underneath a very comfortable quilt. He was deliberately ignoring both of his friends, knowing they were planning something terrible for Severus Snape the next morning.

Frankly, he just wanted to nap. He had stayed here at Hogwarts for a reason. This was the first Christmas holiday in a long time he wasn't going to be changing. That just meant that he was going to be able to relax and enjoy it. Going back home just meant that his mum would spend too much time in the kitchen trying to be very quiet but not succeeding, and his father would spend the time either trying to talk to Remus about things that were too serious for a twelve year old or working too long in order to avoid coming home. At Hogwarts he had Sirius (who was staying because of a "Black Family Christmas"), and James (who was staying because Sirius was staying and because a rumored "Aunt Lovenia" was coming from some obscure place in Eastern Europe for the holiday).

Other than the three second years, the rest who remained in Gryffindor Tower were mostly upper years who were using the holiday to study, or just get away from their families like Sirius and Remus were.

"Remus, can you talk to Kalinda?" Sirius' voice broke into his foggy, sleepy mind, and Remus looked at him in bewilderment.

"'Bout what?" Remus asked blearily.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Haven't you been listening to a word we've been saying?"

"No not really." Remus sat up a bit, burrowing his way further into the blankets, sighing happily at the warmth.

"We need Kalinda to get us into the Restricted Section." Sirius said firmly.

"Why don't you just use the Cloak?" Remus questioned, still not understanding.

"Don't you remember? Dumbledore put a charm on the Library. Unless the Restricted Section's gate sees the person accessing, it'll alert Madam Pince." James said with an eye roll.

"Oh yeah." Remus yawned and blinked.

"Kalinda is a Prefect, not to mention in Madam Pince's good graces. She can take you into the Restricted Section. Madam Pince likes you well enough too." Sirius continued as though he had never been interrupted.

"Then, you can get us a book." James said excitedly, his tone filling slowly with glee. James loved the games, but Sirius was dead serious, as though this were no game at all.

"_Summouning the Elementes, Storme and Fyre_." Sirius said calmly, as though it wasn't a book full of extraordinarily difficult and dangerous spells.

Remus jerked upright. "And _how _exactly, Messrs Potter and Black," he said indignantly, "do you expect _me_, a second year, to convince Kalinda Coffard and Madam Pince, that all I need for the Christmas Holiday is one of the most dangerous books in the library?"

Sirius and James grinned, and James leaned towards him. "Well that's your bit. Use your immense charms. _Mr. Lupin_."

Remus stared at the two of their faces. They were staring at him. Waiting for him to say yes. He had no other choice. He never really had.

_"Oy, that today's homework in Potions?" A dark-haired boy collapsed next to him at lunch._

_ Remus' eyes widened and he stared over at the boy._

_ "Are you mute?" The boy asked again, his eyes glittering wickedly._

_ "Yes. I mean, yes about the Potions, not about me being mute." Remus stammered._

_ "That right?" Another boy next to him, large round glasses on his nose, spoke up. Remus was surrounded, and suddenly felt that fact very acutely._

_ A small blond poked his head up behind the dark-haired boy. "Neither of them took any notes in Potions today. I did, but..."_

_ "But his handwriting is atrocious. Can't read a bloody word." Said the boy with glasses._

_ "Absolutely horrible. So, what of it? Gonna share?" The dark-haired boy propped his chin up on one hand._

_ "Eh... yeah.. I mean I can help you with the homework if you want." Remus offered._

_ "Brilliant." The boy with the glasses snatched the paper from in front of Remus, reading over it._

_ "I'm not that great in Potions." Remus explained with a grimace._

_ "Better than any of us." The blond squeaked._

_ "Aren't... aren't you Sirius Black?" Remus finally said to the dark-haired boy, who grinned. S__irius Black had already gotten in trouble three times that year, a record for a first year, and detention twice. Half of Gryffindor was already talking about him._

_ "My reputation precedes me!" He said triumphantly. He clapped Remus on the back. "So long as you 'help' us with our homework, I promise the rumors aren't true."_

Remus sighed quietly and nodded his head. "Yeah yeah. I guess so. I'll talk to Kalinda."

Sirius motioned to him. "Go now!" He hurried. "We need the book before dinner tonight."

Remus groaned and swam his way out of the blankets that had been keeping him nice and warm. He felt chilly once he was free, but he still diligently left. It occurred to him that he didn't quite know where Kalinda was supposed to be. He considered it. The 5th year Gryffindor had frequently helped Remus in Potions. The only class that Remus had any trouble in. He wondered briefly why she hadn't gone home. She had once commented that family Christmases were one of the most wonderful things ever.

He found her near the Library, by pure luck, as he was really just wandering about and hoping that she'd tumble from one of the rooms or something. She looked irritable and upset, Remus noticed a bit of puffiness around her eyes. It occurred to him that Sirius and James would never have noticed these things. He was after all "such a girl", according to Sirius.

"Eh, Kalinda?" He questioned. She abruptly stopped her pacing and looked at Remus with a start, as though she had assumed she was alone. Remus swallowed, and she managed a weak little smile.

"Lupin?" She was clutching her books with too firm a grip, like they were about to be snatched away. "What is it?"

"Oh, well I was hoping I could get a bit of help. See I'm stuck here over the holidays..."

"Stuck?" Her voice became slightly shrill, and he closed his mouth quickly, brain buzzing.

"Well I just mean that... well my mom's in St. Mungo's and my dad wanted some time alone."

She calmed down. "Oh. Oh I see. Well what is it then?"

Remus let the remainder of the words tumble out, hoping he didn't sound desperate. "Well I have been wanting to do some Defense Against the Dark Arts practice, and I was hoping that maybe you could help me convince Madam Pince to let me read _Summouning the Elementes, Storme and Fyre._" He blanched as Kalinda's face registered something like shock and then suspicion.

"Don't you hang about with that Sirius Black and James Potter?" She questioned. Her Prefect's badge was glinting in the light off a torch.

He shrugged one shoulder. "They mostly use me for homework. They'd probably be unable to wrap their heads around such a text. It's not like I'm going to leave it lying around. I just want to read it."

It was times like these that he wished he had... "normal" friends. Kalinda knew how he loved books, so did Madam Pince for that matter. Sirius and James just thought he was a brain, and behind the two of them he felt very dull and out of place, like a ratty old book next to a couple of freshly printed ones. If only he had been a Ravenclaw. Sirius had told him once that he belonged in that house instead. Calculating rather than consorting. If he had such friends, they would actually assume that he did want to read the book, rather than take it to a couple of hooligans. Remus inwardly grimaced.

Kalinda smiled and sniffed once, bringing Remus' attention back. "All right. I suppose there's no harm in letting you read it. Hell, I'm pretty sure you're lining yourself up for a teaching position someday, eh?" She motioned to him and opened the door to the library. Madam Pince was the only person there. Only Remus would be requesting a book over Christmas Holiday.

At first Madam Pince was extraordinarily reluctant to allow Remus to pass into the Restricted Section. She too, mentioned his "associates" and the fact that she had once seen Sirius bend a book _inside-out_ while reading it, breaking the spine forever. Remus became appropriately shocked at the anecdote (he actually did feel a pang of horror, but was too used to Sirius' treatment of the printed word to really be surprised), and she slowly came around, motioning to Kalinda to go and fetch the book.

Within ten minutes Remus was heading back to Gryffindor Tower, pushing past the portrait hole and into the common room. Sirius and James had started playing Wizard's Chess. But really, those games only ended in Sirius deliberately sacrificing all his pieces just so he could watch James' pieces cut them to bits. He seemed to delight in it, and Remus briefly wondered if when he was a small child, he had taken the same fiendish joy in tearing the wings off flies.

His grip on the book tightened as that image came to mind. He'd only known Sirius for a year now, James too. But he could distinctly remember seeing Orion and Walburga Black at Platform 9 and ¾ at the beginning of the school year. Another Black was with them as well, Sirius' younger brother Regulus. The way that Walburga had stared at Sirius had made Remus nervous. She looked like she'd rather be throwing Sirius underneath the train, than letting him board it. Her cruel hands had been gripping into Regulus' shoulders with a cold ferocity that clearly stated "_this one is my good little boy_". Sirius had been viciously cranky for the first half-hour of the train ride. Remus could only imagine the summer he'd had.

Sirius' joy in taunting and causing others pain – even if it was only a prank and not meant to actually hurt anyone – was one of the most poignant reminders of his upbringing. Remus would never say anything out loud, but he knew about the Blacks from his father. Hushed stories that his dad had told him on the few occasions when they'd enjoyed some father/son time that wasn't awkward or deathly silent.

"Have you got it then?" James looked up as one of his knights speared Sirius' queen soundly.

"Uh..." Remus glanced briefly to Sirius again, then back to James. Reluctantly he loosened his grip on the book – Kalinda's voice at the back of his mind – and handed it over. "Yeah. You want me to help?"

Sirius smirked wickedly. "I doubt it. You're brilliant, Remus, but I think you're going to want to keep your eyes and ears pointed away from this one. Your own safety really."

James had already cracked open the ancient tome and had begun reading eagerly. "Blimey, Sirius." He whispered in an awed tone as he read aloud. "_Summoun a flood frome any flowing watere_... _The Fyre Dragonne of Poena_... what do you suppose that one is?"

"Poena... latin for pain..." Remus said weakly, and Sirius' bright eyes glittered. "You know... I think I just remembered... got to send my mum an owl, yes, I think I should go write her a letter..." The burning sensation in his stomach was a familiar one. It occurred regularly whenever Sirius got That Look in his eye.

Remus was going to hide in his dormitory until McGonagall or Filch or somebody settled things. Did they give detention over the holiday? Oh lord, Madam Pince would know the book was checked out in his name. There were only so many students left at the school, what were they thinking?

Utterly spent from his anxiety, Remus collapsed face first in his bed, only to just be able to hear, wafting up the stairs, "Sirius! This one is a lightning jinx. Can you imagine, the bolt will hit him right in the nose!"

Remus moaned something incomprehensible and put the pillow over his head.

[][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: Well I hope everyone is enjoying so far. I'm a bit worried my chapters are too short (based on this length, there could be as many as fifty chapters when I'm finished, but I felt that short chapters would enable me to write up a chapter quickly and get it out to you guys as swiftly as possible. More to come soon, as well as old and new characters.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: as my constant advisor. Whenever I needed help, she was willing to crack open a book and research it for me. She is the only reason that I actually went through with this (so you can blame her if it falls through =D).

_puppylove91_: for the first comment on this story! thanks for letting me know that people are reading!


	3. Chapter 3: Presents and Slytherins

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius romance-centric. James/Lily. Warning! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

[][][][][][]

When Remus woke up on Christmas morning, several thoughts went through his head, in no particular order, but rather all at once:

_"It is very, very early."_

_"Oh! It's Christmas!"_

_ "Wait, something feels odd."_

_"I'm cold."_

_ "Something also cold is smothering me."_

_ "Bloody hell, is that snow?"_

_ "Oh god, where are Sirius and James."_

He sat up quickly, and a great pile of snow fell off of him. For a moment he thought that Sirius and James had simply levitated some of the snow from outside into his bed as a practical joke.

No. The _entire_ dormitory was a winter wonderland. Snow and icicles covered every bed and there was an entire foot of white fluff on the floor. Soft snowflakes were falling from above, as though they had passed through the ceiling transparently and were now solid again as they hit the inside floor. When Remus stood up, he was knee deep in the frozen wet stuff. Strangely though, it wasn't actually wet. It felt like it _should_ be wet, but Remus was suddenly aware of the fact that his pajamas were dry, as were the blankets underneath the snow. Still cold however, Remus shoved a great big drift from his trunk, pulling out all his winter things and bundling up as though he were outside. Eerily enough, even the windows were closed, but Remus distinctly felt a frosty breeze which caused the snow drifts to sway slightly.

He exited the dormitory. The snow continued down the stairs, several pairs of feet having already disrupted the perfect drifts. He stopped dead as he reached the common room.

The remaining twenty or so Gryffindors were laughing and playing and opening presents in at least two feet of snow on the common room floor. There was one first year who was making a snow angel, and two sixth year girls were building a snowman, giggling as they used their wands to build up the snow and form a face from folded pieces of parchment. The fireplace didn't seem to be melting the snow at all, just creating a warm glow on the white ground. Remus gazed around. Just like in the dormitories, the snow was cold, but didn't make anyone wet, and it continued to fall from the ceiling. Based on the snowfall already on the ground, Remus concluded that it must have been "snowing" twice as hard when it had begun.

He slowly went down the stairs, careful not to slip on the icy patches, tightening his scarf. The evergreen Christmas decorations were all dusted with white, even the tree, which gave them an ethereal quality. It was the perfect picturesque Christmas, except of course for the fact that it was inside.

Sirius and James were nowhere to be found. Remus just knew this had something to do with them. That they weren't there didn't bode well for the rest of the school. But there was no way that they could charm an entire school to be snowing inside. They must be doing something else.

Kalinda was sitting near the fire, but she had a pleased smile on her face, rather than the peaky, distressed look she had had the last time that Remus saw her. He sat down on an armchair near her, after brushing off as much snow as possible. She had several boxes in front of her, and a pile of wrapping paper off to the side.

"This sure is something, huh?" He questioned innocently.

She eyed him. "Something? Hm. Something indeed, Lupin. Something that could have easily been performed by someone with access to a _certain _restricted book from the library." She had a Prefect's tone to her voice, but the smile and laughter in her eyes didn't leave.

Remus' eyes looked wide and innocent. "I haven't even opened the book yet." He said, and that was the honest truth.

The portrait hole swung open suddenly, and with a rousing cheer from the Gryffindors Sirius and James were welcomed back into the common room. There were several hugs and claps on the back in congratulations. Kalinda stood and walked over. James looked a bit nervous, but Sirius continued to grin eagerly.

"It's very curious, this snow. See, I myself have read _Summouning the Elementes, Storme and Fyre _once. I immediately recognized that the spells in that book were literally impossible for anyone below an Ordinary Wizarding Level. And so, I must conclude that no mere second years, even if they had help from a _very_ intelligent friend," here she glanced back over her shoulder at Remus, who turned red, "could possibly achieve any spell as advanced as Siccus Snow*. Therefore, I'm simply going to have to assume that this is a present from Professor McGonagall or Headmaster Dumbledore, and leave the Gryffindors to enjoy."

With that said, she grinned and gave Sirius a hug, muttering something in his ear. His eyes widened and an actual blush appeared on his cheeks. She released him and went back to her small pile of boxes by the fire.

Remus quickly stood and went over to his friends, rubbing his gloved hands together. "You two..." He said, feeling an awe that he recognized as being similar to how Peter felt about Sirius and James on a daily basis. "I thought you were going to do something horrible, but _this_..."

"Oh, just wait until you see the Slytherins today." James said offhandedly.

Remus' shoulders slouched a bit. "Of course." He said with a roll of his eyes. "Can't be content to simply make the holiday a joyful one."

Sirius grinned so widely that Remus was afraid that his mouth would read all the way around the back of his skull and cause his head to pop off. "Snivellus is going to be _so mad_!"

"Do you mean mad as in angry, or mad as in crazy?" Remus said weakly, following the two boys back upstairs. They were the only ones in the dormitory. James' bed had a great big pile of at least eight or nine presents. Sirius had two boxes, and Remus only had one, but it was quite large after all.

James shrugged mysteriously at the question, not answering as he flopped down on the bed, grabbing the smallest present and opening it. Sirius grabbed the larger of his two presents, and Remus sat down quietly to open his. The other boys tore the paper off, but Remus popped it open carefully, saving the white wrapping paper, so that he could use it later to repair a book or maybe wrap one of James' birthday presents later.

Sirius pulled out a soft gray scarf and matching mittens, and a whole slew of Christmas candy. These were presents from James' parents, who had taken a great liking to Sirius after he had visited James over the summer break. The other box he left untouched, turning to watch James tear through his. Most of James' presents were from his family, warm clothing, loads of candy, an envelope with several Galleons from his Aunt Lovenia, and a book of _The 20 Greatest Quidditch Moves Ever Made_, which was filled with great big pictures and hardly any words, James' favorite kind of reading.

Remus had gotten a new shirt, the inside of the collar embroidered with "R.L." by his mother, and several new books from his father, both fiction and nonfiction. Hardly any pictures, and one of the books was well over a thousand pages. They also both had written him a very long letter letting him know that they missed him over the holiday, that they hoped all was well, and that they wanted to see him at Easter. He folded up the letter and the wrapping paper and set them aside, also watching James open his presents.

When all the boxes at their bedsides had been unwrapped, Sirius reached under his bed and produced two more boxes, handing the gold one to James and the blue one to Remus. James also pulled two boxes out from under his bed to hand to Sirius and Remus, and then Remus handed a box each to Sirius and James. Peter had given them all their gifts before he left (Socks for Remus, new quills for Sirius, and a few Chocolate Frog cards for James) and they'd given him theirs (basically a huge amount of candy and some Unstainable Parchment* from James).

Remus cracked his open, deciding on James' present first. He still wasn't sure that he didn't hear growling coming from the box Sirius had handed him. He pulled out a long thin case, and opened it.

"Oh, a Never-Ending Ink Quill*!" He said excitedly. "Thanks James." After a minute, he slowly opened Sirius' present, and saw a tiny figurine in a glass case. It was a miniature owl, a joke because Remus had been dying for a real owl for a full year now but his parents were too poor. The tiny porcelain owl flew in a circle around its perch inside the glass case and then settled back down, even fluffing up teeny porcelain feathers as it groomed itself.

James' gift from Remus had been a book, Advanced Transfiguration. It was actually something Remus thought James would like, since Transfiguration was one of James' best subjects and James always seemed excited to learn something new. He looked mildly interested, but set it on the same pile as the socks that his Uncle Parson had given him, separate from the Quidditch book from his parents. From Sirius however, he'd gotten a whole pile of Dungbombs, Pepper Imps, Terror Tops*, and Screeching Sickles*, plus a list of several passwords, to either secret passages or to places like the Prefect's bathroom. James was far more enthusiastic about this present than Remus'. Remus never really knew what to get anyone though.

For example, he'd gotten Sirius a small tie clip that whenever it was time for lunch, or class, would let out a small chime about five minutes before the Hogwarts chime for the start or end of class. Sirius was frequently late for class. However, after Remus had bought it, it had occurred to him that Sirius rarely if ever wore the red and gold tie that they were supposed to wear with their uniform, so really it was a waste of money. Remus had packaged it anyway though, and Sirius seemed to think it was shiny, the gold with a small red jewel at one end making him nod in approval. The present from James had been almost an exact copy of Sirius' gift to him however, with tons of materials for pranks, plus a bar of soap "so that you'll finally bathe," James had said jokingly. This caused Sirius to tackle James into the bed, and Remus quickly lifted his little owl away as they started to wrestle.

[][][][][][]

Severus Snape was very, very wet. Remus watched, completely mystified, as the Slytherin's shoes squelched against the hallway's floors. Filch was all the way at the end of the hall, diligently mopping up the puddles of water that each of Snape's steps were leaving behind.

Above Severus' head was a tiny raincloud. It was pouring buckets and buckets of rain down on the boy's head, along with an occasional flash of lightning that set Severus' head on fire (the rain put it out just as quickly) and a small boom of thunder that made Snape shudder.

McGonagall hurried over to him quickly. "Mr. Snape! How long as this been going on?" She demanded in a worried, matronly tone, pulling out her wand.

He mumbled, and then glowered down the hall. He'd just spotted Remus, Sirius, and James, who were on their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. He raised his voice. "I was awoken at about five o'clock this morning to see two people scampering away and the storm had appeared above my bed." He lowered his voice and Remus strained to hear. "They kicked me out of the dungeons."

She waved her wand over his head, and the raincloud quickly shrank and then with a "pop!" it disappeared entirely. She put one hand on her hip.

"Er... they also sent me to get Slughorn. All of the faucets in the boy's bathroom turned on and they won't stop, water is pouring in everywhere and the dormitory and common room are flooding." He said curtly, looking back at Remus and his two friends. Remus immediately moved so that Sirius and James were the more prominent of the three. Filch had heard this bit, and he scowled, grabbing his mop and bucket and hauling it off in the direction of the dungeons.

"Do you know who did it?" McGonagall said severely.

"... I don't know for _sure_." Severus' dark eyes glittered, and Remus knew that although he had no proof, he knew who had done it.

"Well the faucets might just be these old castle pipes. I'll send Slughorn along straight away." McGonagall hurried off, passing Sirius and James and Remus (now hiding slightly behind the other two) without a second glance.

"So how's it feel to finally bathe, Snivellus?" Sirius called out as soon as she was out of earshot.

Snivellus turned red with rage, reaching for his wand, but his soaking wet robes were all tangled and it was taking him too long. James smirked wickedly. "Yeah, 12 years of slime finally washed out of that hair, Snape, that must feel strange and a little scary. I promise you however, that if you just let it grow on you-"

"- instead of mold, that is..." Sirius interjected.

Remus was silent, but he was clearly "with" them. He didn't understand the hatred for Severus Snape. Sirius had started it, last year before Remus had even met them, and James seemed to get just as much joy out of it. The two boys laughed out loud as Severus finally yanked out his wand, both of theirs instantly at the ready. Remus reached for his, but he had no intention of using it.

"_Ascendio!_"

"_Expelliarmus!_"

The two spells were spoke at the same exact time, a bolt of red light shooting from James' wand at the same time as Snape brandished his.

Remus grabbed a hold of Sirius' arm and yanked him back down, barely stopping him from flying straight up into the ceiling. Snape's wand flew from his grip and skidded several yards down the hallway. Snape scrambled backwards to get it, but just then Slughorn appeared with McGonagall. Remus helped Sirius to stand upright again, James turned to look like he was busy tying a shoelace, and the two teachers motioned to Snape to follow them. He shot the three boys a vicious look, and then ran after the two adults, his shoes squishing and his robes dripping as he went.

Sirius doubled over in laughter, and James was chuckling as well. Remus managed an amused grin, letting go of Sirius after he was sure the taller boy was steady. "Taking on all three of us? Oh boy, we really put a bug up his arse today." Sirius said, a note of triumph in his voice. He clapped Remus on the shoulder roughly, and Remus grinned weakly.

They walked into the Great Hall a few minutes later. Instead of the four separate tables, there was only one long table down the middle. There were only about a hundred students left at the school total, so the houses were left to mingle freely. However, the table was still clearly divided, with the Gryffindors nearest to the back of the room, closest to the teachers' table, and the Slytherins closest to the door. Remus sat down next to Kalinda, and Sirius and James took the seats across from them, grinning and piling food on their plates. The simple breakfast was nothing compared to the Christmas dinner that night, but Remus took some eggs, bacon, and two pieces of toast, and dug in.

Sirius and James were still in triumph over their victory. Every Slytherin that came in was either soaked from head to toe, or at the very least their black slacks were wet up to the knees. They all looked furious. As soon as they looked up the table to see all the Gryffindors covered in snow that hadn't yet melted, they narrowed their eyes. The Ravenclaws were enormously impressed with the intricacy of spells in both Gryffindor Tower and the Slytherin Dungeon, questioning Sirius and James, who seemed flattered by the attention. Remus just made himself as small as possible, chatting quietly with Kalinda for a while.

[][][][][][]

The remainder of the day was spent around the castle. McGonagall had discovered the Gryffindor's own charm a little after breakfast, and had kicked them all out for several hours. When they returned from lunch, they found that every single snowflake had been removed. Kalinda had looked innocently at the Head of House and claimed that she had assumed it was a Christmas gift from the Headmaster. McGonagall had looked like she hadn't quite believed her. But the spell had been nonthreatening, unlike the one in Slytherin Dungeon, and so she had let the subject drop.

At dinner, the students were joined by Dumbledore and all the teachers. Slughorn looked a bit harassed, but other than that all seemed well. Remus, Sirius, and James were even handed little boxes by Hagrid, the groundskeeper. They investigated them first, making sure they didn't hear any snapping of teeth or anything, and then discovered within one shimmering dragon scale each. Hagrid wouldn't say where he had gotten them, except "over the summer".

Back in the common room, Remus got roped into a game of Exploding Snap with Sirius and James. They played for several hours, and Remus managed to blow himself up only once.

Eventually the huge meal and the activity of the day wore on all three of them, and they trudged upstairs to the dormitories. Sirius' last present was still sitting on top of his trunk.

"Sirius, aren't you going to open that?" Remus asked as he yanked off his socks, frowning.

Sirius stared at the box. It was about the size of a goblet, wrapped in shiny black paper, with a little note on the top. "To: S. Black." The dark-haired boy got a dangerous look in his eye, glaring at the box as though he was trying to perform a Blasting Curse nonverbally and without a wand. Remus raised an eyebrow nervously.

Finally Sirius tossed the box to Remus. "You open it." He said flatly.

Remus carefully removed the paper and opened the top of the box. Within was a velvet bag. He extracted it, and then opened the bag. Within the purple bag was a small clear glass orb, with a metal snake wrapped around the exterior, its emerald eyes glowing even in the near-darkness of the dormitory. Remus held it up to his eye, admiring the handiwork. It was a little creepy, but the silver snake was beautifully crafted. "This is -"

"**_IMPURE_**!" The orb suddenly screeched, and Remus dropped the orb onto his bed as the metal snake suddenly came to life, hissing and attempting to bite him.

James snatched the orb up off the bed. The snake became metal again almost instantly, and James used the opportunity to stuff the orb back into the velvet bag, staring at it. Sirius had snatched up the letter inside the box. He unfolded it and cleared his throat.

"_Dear_ Sirius: Merry Christmas. We hope this letter finds you well." His voice was high-pitched and scathing, just the kind of voice that Remus suspected Mrs. Black had. "We wanted to remind you that even if your House isn't that of the _illustrious_ Salazar Slytherin, that you can still take action to ensure that your associations are not tainted. This crystal ball can analyze a subject to determine if they are a Pureblood, and will quickly inform you which of your little _friends_ are unfit to be aligned with the Black family. _Love_, Mother and Father and Little Regulus."

When he was finished reading his eyes had become dark and his lips were pressed into a straight line. Remus had never seen that much hatred on a 12 year old's face. The last time he had seen that much hate and anger had been when he was a very little boy, looking up into a pair of yellow eyes. Sirius, now enraged, shredded the letter into tiny little pieces, dropped them on the floor, and pulled out his wand. James started as though he were going to stop him, his own wand slipping out.

"_INCENDIO_!" Sirius shouted at the pile. The pile of papers burst into flames, sending off sparks in every direction. The fire glittered in Sirius' eyes, lighting up his face to make him look much older and much more evil. Remus shivered a bit, taking a step back.

"_Aguamenti_." James said quietly a moment later, a small stream of water coming from his wand to the flames. They sputtered and died out. Sirius ignored the smoking pile of ashes in front of his bed, turning and looking at Remus.

"Are you _happy_ now, Lupin?" He hissed. "Merry bloody Christmas from the Blacks."

"There's no need-" Remus said unhappily.

Sirius cut him off with a rude gesture, climbing into his bed and closing the curtains. Remus looked helplessly at James, who was shoving the orb deep within his own trunk, underneath a pair of dress shoes that he never wore. The bespectacled boy sighed and shrugged one shoulder.

"He'll be fine in the morning. He's just got... problems with his family." James said, climbing into bed but leaving his curtains open.

Remus sat on the edge of his bed and set his wand on the nightstand, frowning and nodding. "I didn't mean to..."

"He knows that. He's just touchy." James said with a yawn, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes as he snuggled down under the blankets. "Over the summer... they made him go to a special tutor for the Dark Arts, you know. They were ashamed that he got accepted to Gryffindor, that somehow it would make him impure. So they forced him to go to Abraxas Malfoy – Lucius' dad you know – to get some serious training in the Dark Arts. Spells and defenses and stuff. When he came to visit us in July... he was covered from head to toe in bruises and bandages. Mum freaked out, thought he'd crashed when he flew over. No, it was Abraxas, he had Sirius going up against Lucius in _duels_. Lucius, he's a s_eventh_ year! Sirius was having bloody nightmares about the things Lucius had done to him."

Remus was laying on his side, propping his head up on one hand. "Are they even allowed to do that?"

"Well, it's not like Sirius could tell anyone, could he? Abraxas is huge in the Ministry, plus the Malfoys are one of the most ruddy powerful Wizarding families along with the Blacks, and Sirius' own parents wouldn't tell anyone. They probably wouldn't say a damn thing if Sirius were to get killed!" James hissed back, lowering his tone as the mattress squeaked from behind Sirius' curtain. "He had to do what they said, he had no choice. And Lucius... Lucius _enjoyed_ it! Sirius said he would laugh whenever Sirius started to bleed, tell him that his blood wasn't blue enough."

James was now fuming as well, furious at a family he didn't know on behalf of their son.

"But your parents... you're a Pureblood too, aren't you?" Remus said hesitantly. "Couldn't you say something to Dumbledore or the Ministry or something?"

James frowned. "Yeah. Sirius begged them not to say anything. They felt sorry for him, and they didn't want to get him in more trouble, so they left it alone. My dad though, he forced Sirius to go to St. Mungo's with him a few days later. They patched him up."

Remus felt very stupid for making Sirius open up the present now, and it must have shown on his face, because James smiled reassuringly. "Don't beat yourself up, Remus. Sirius will be fine and dandy tomorrow morning. I'll take him and the Cloak and go explore one of the new secret passages he discovered."

[][][][][][]

A few days after the New Year, and the Hogwarts Express returned the remainder of the students to school. Sirius had warmed up immediately only a couple days after Christmas. Remus even got a chance to read the book that he had checked out for the two boys, learning a few fire-summoning spells that he thought might come in handy someday for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

The Slytherin Dungeons were now reported to be infested with Doxy Mold, a terrible mold which ate at anything that was both damp and magical, and intoxicated the air with horrible smelling fumes. The fumes caused at least two dozen of the Slytherins (mostly girls) to faint and be forced to go to the Hospital Wing. Filch, Professor Sprout, and Professor McGonagall were all wearing masks and had most of their skin covered with robes or fabric, and they spent five days thoroughly cleaning every single inch of the Dungeons. Unfortunately, most of the Slytherins' belongings had already been infected, even Lucius' robes were covered in holes, half his Prefect's badge gone until he could get replacements for both. The Gryffindor house quickly learned of Sirius' and James' actions that caused the infestation, and the two ruffians had a moment of celebrity status.

That is, until the rumor reached Professor McGonagall. Sirius and James spent the last day before classes started scrubbing out the pipes in the Slytherin boy's bathroom with a noxious version of Doxycide especially for the mold. Remus tried not to look smug when they returned with raw hands and annoyed expressions.

Peter seemed confused by everyone's stories when he returned from home, but at least when classes started again everything calmed down.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Chapter Three! I was a little uncertain about Sirius in this chapter. He's a bit emo, but I think it worked out okay. Let me know please if you don't like. xD Now we're officially in the year 1973. In the next chapter you can look forward to the introduction of Lily Evans! Also, as you can see in this chapter, I've included some * that indicate original magical spells or items that I've invented for my story. The explanations for these items will from now on be below the Author's Note.

* Sicchus Snow: Sicchus from the Latin for "dry". Charmed snow that does not melt or get any objects wet.

* Unstainable Parchment: Parchment resistant (not impervious) to any marks from anything other than ink from a quill, such as food, grease, or dirt.

* Never-ending Ink Quill: A quill that magically writes without the need for a bottle of ink, lasting for about a year of moderate use.

* Terror Tops: Small spinning tops that attack the ankles of anyone within range with lightning bolts and other unpleasant elements.

* Screeching Sickles: Can be scattered in a busy hallway to attract someone's attention. They let out a high-pitched scream whenever someone picks them up off the ground.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: as my constant advisor. Whenever I needed help, she was willing to crack open a book and research it for me. She is the only reason that I actually went through with this (so you can blame her if it falls through =D).


	4. Chapter 4: A Birthday and a Detention

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius romance-centric. James/Lily. Warning! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: The new term in 1973, including Lily Evans' birthday (January 30th), and some time Mid-February.

[][][][][][]

The new year started and Sirius, James and Peter managed to lose Gryffindor fifteen points each within the first week of the new term for using their various Christmas presents on the unsuspecting populace. Their housemates seemed resigned to the fact that so long as Black, Potter, and Pettigrew were in school, Gryffindor would never be winning the house cup. Remus did his best to win them back the points by doing well in his classes and answering plenty of questions, but really he was only able to get five points with the teachers that liked him. The bandage on his cheek had come off, leaving a soft pink line on his cheek that was sure to scar before too much longer. Sirius had claimed it made him look "rakish".

Near the end of January, the common room was a bustle. The older students loved a chance to throw a shindig, and so someone had gone down to the kitchens and requested plenty of juice and a great big cake for Lily Evans' birthday. She was only a second year, but had made an impression on the staff and the other Gryffindor students by excelling to the top of their year. Remus had been on track for first, but Lily was fantastic in Potions so she managed to beat him. He held no grudges however, and enjoyed asking her for help or comparing their homework.

James seemed to either not talk to her at all, or taunt her rather mercilessly, depending on his mood. He'd yanked on her two ginger braids more often than anyone could count, and he and Sirius had even covered the ends of her hair in black ink one night when she fell asleep in the common room. She'd been forced to cut the black parts out because they wouldn't wash completely free by hand or with magic, and she retaliated by Jinxing James' and Sirius' bed curtains so that when they tried to get up for class the curtains had wrapped around them and nearly strangled them before Remus had cut them both free.

He was sitting in the corner of the room, reading the Daily Prophet – borrowed from Hagrid earlier that day – while everyone was setting up for her party. He had read everything interesting, and now flipped all the way back to the less important articles. He had finished all his homework and was bored enough to read everything, even the advertisements. He paused as he saw a name that he recognized.

_BREAK-IN AT MINISTRY_

"_On Wednesday, the 20__th__ of December, at approximately four-thirty in the morning, there was a break in at the Obliviator Headquarters at the Ministry of Magic. Details were spared from publication until a full investigation was made. According to reports, an unknown person entered the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes by unknown means, stormed into the office of the Chief Obliviator Katerina Coffard, brutally attacked her, and then fled. It is unknown if the person took any files with him, as nothing has been found missing. Katerina thankfully survived, and has been recuperating in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries over the holidays. The Daily Prophet wishes her and her family all the best, in the hopes that this perpetrator will be caught._"

Next to the small article was a picture of a tall woman with a gleaming smile. She looked sickeningly like Kalinda, and was surely her mother or an aunt or something. Remus looked at the date. Kalinda would have learned of the attack just before the holidays. No wonder she didn't get to go home. Remus looked up, seeing her across the room congratulating Lily on her birthday.

He wondered if it would be inappropriate to ask Kalinda what had happened. After all, if it was in the Daily Prophet surely it was common knowledge.

He was interrupted from his musings as suddenly the entire common room began to cheer "Evans, Evans, Evans!" She was slicing the cake now, grinning and turning just as red as her hair.

Remus got up off the couch and tucked the Prophet away in his pocket, heading over to clap along with everyone else. Sirius, James and Peter were on the other side of the table, both grinning as though they hadn't just a few days ago Transfigured all of Lily's books into moldy blocks of wood. All her clothes had smelled faintly of mold, until the house elves finished scouring them clean. She wasn't talking to them, even though Remus had apologized for his friends. He was sure she was thinking up a hex for the trio.

She was doling out pieces of cake, and Remus stepped up to take one. "Hi Remus." She said happily, her cheeks still red. "Did you need any help with Potions today?"

"Nah. Today's your birthday, you should enjoy it, not help me with my homework." Remus said, inhaling deeply over the cake and making a pleased sound.

"Thanks, enjoy the cake!" She said, grabbing another plate of cake and turning around, only to find James standing in front of her.

She stared at him for a moment, and then she smiled – a sickeningly sweet smile in fact – and handed James the plate of cake. James took it, and looked at her nervously, sniffing at the cake curiously before he dug into it. Sirius and Peter also took plates straight from Lily's hands, sitting near Remus on a couch and eating happily.

When the other three were done with their cakes, Remus looked over at them. He stared for a moment, pressing his lips together in an attempt not to say anything out loud.

All three boys had bright green writing on their foreheads. It was as though someone had written on their faces in green ink, "LILY EVANS IS A GODDESS" and then on their right cheek was "I AM UNWORTHY" and on the left cheek was "I AM A GNOME'S BEHIND".

Remus glanced in the nearest shiny surface to assure that he too wasn't infected with the lettering, but no, according to the brass plate on the side of the fireplace his face was clear and just as normal looking as ever. He glanced around at everyone else, and they too were all perfectly normal. He looked back at Sirius and James, who were staring at each other.

"Oy!" They said at the exactly same time, pointing forward as they continued in unison, "You've got something on your-"

Remus burst into peals of laughter, nearly falling off the couch, as the rest of Gryffindor realized what had happened.

[][][][][][]

It took nearly 3 weeks for the marks on Sirius, James, and Peter's faces to vanish. Even tonight, under the light of James' wand, Remus could see a hint of green on the skin of his cheek. Sirius had managed to comb his hair to cover his forehead, but his cheeks had been obvious to all. Madam Pomfrey hadn't been able to do anything at all for them, merely saying that the best thing to do would be to let it fade. James had even tried to borrow some of Marlene McKinnon's make-up, but the skin-colored cream had done nothing for the burning green letters. Remus had complimented Lily on the strength of the potion she had used, and she had blushed and said that she'd had help. She wouldn't say from whom though.

"Okay, so... where is that stupid piece of armor?" James hissed. Sirius was holding the Invisibility Cloak in his hands, while James waved his lit wand around the hallway. Remus had his arms crossed over his chest, peering every which way to ensure that a teacher was not coming. Peter was merely walking around in circles, every so often asking James when they were going to be done.

"You said it was right around the painting of the... you know." Sirius said as though he absolutely knew what he was talking about.

"Yes yes, I know." James frowned. "But _that_ painting should be right here. First floor corridor near the stairs..." He sighed and stretched out his wand hand, before gasping and sprinting away from them. "Found it!" He announced in triumph. Sirius trotted after him, Peter wasn't too far behind. Remus took a very careful look around the dark hallways and then quietly followed.

He didn't like sneaking around the school at night. The Invisibility Cloak really only fit three of them comfortably, and getting a fourth in was very strange and crowded. Their feet showed unless Sirius and Remus ducked down, and it was rather hard to walk in unison. So they generally did not use it unless they heard footsteps, which was Remus' job.

The other three didn't know why, but Remus always was able to detect movement before anyone else. At first they thought he was paranoid, but when they'd been caught not once, but twice despite his warnings, and then avoided getting caught three other times, they had started to put faith in him.

Remus wasn't sure why he was so alert. He assumed it was the werewolf really. It wasn't like he actually heard sounds. No, the hair on the back of his neck just stood on end, and something in his brain screamed a warning, and he would snatch the Invisibility Cloak and put it around all four of them and hunker down just in time to hear footsteps. The other three obviously assumed that he was just paying more attention. Sirius' brain was wrapped up in the excitement, James' head was filled with The Plan, and Peter... well Peter couldn't really be depended on for anything as extreme as making sure they didn't all get detention or expelled.

He twitched towards the end of the hall, straining to hear something other than the frantic mutterings of Sirius and James. They had approached the suit of armor, and James had prodded it with his wand after saying something. Remus' eyes widened as the thing came to life with a great clank of metal on metal. He glared at the two boys, and by default Peter as well, who was standing next to them.

"Would you be quiet!" He said angrily, though he wasn't sure if he was talking to James, Sirius, or the suit of armor itself. The armor seemed to think it was the one being addressed, and so the clanking subsided immediately into a more subtle pinging noise as it settled down. Remus sighed. "_Thank_ you."

James quickly continued to talk to the armor, but Remus was no longer paying attention again. According to James and Sirius, certain pieces of armor were more interested in cooperating than others. All of the armor in the castle had the ability to come to life, but some of them refused to see the authority of a student, and only listened to the teachers. James said that he'd talked to this one before, and it had agreed to help him, though how something with no face, mouth, or voice could agree to anything was beyond Remus' comprehension.

That is, until he looked back over and saw the armor nodding to whatever James had just said. James turned to Remus and motioned to him, and the boy sighed in exasperation but came closer.

"...you're a brilliant piece of metalwork you know, always admired armor, I have..." Sirius was saying, a bright grin on his face.

"Remus, would you give that incantation thingy... you know, the one for walking? I managed to bring him to life but I can't get him off his pedestal thing..." James said in annoyance, as though it were Remus' fault that he was still incapable of performing complicated charms despite his status as second year.

Remus extracted his wand from his sleeve and sighed, tapping first one foot, then the other, of the giant metal statue. "_I__ngredior Liberum*_." He muttered, and instantly the armor lifted one foot and then the other, marching in place on its short marble pedestal.

There was really only two reasons he was here, according to Sirius and James. One, because of his "super senses", and two, because he remembered all the obscure spells and charms that they used while carrying out their pranks. In Remus' mind however, he was there for two very different reasons. Because Gryffindor couldn't afford to lose anymore House points... and because if he didn't come along then Sirius would probably turn all his socks bright pink and he'd be forced to wear them until he figured out how to turn them back.

"Brilliant! Now, listen carefully." The armor leaned down towards James and tilted its head as though it were actually listening. Remus turned around and went back to being on watch, but he could still hear parts of what James and Sirius were saying.

"... Lucius Malfoy especially, get it?"

"And Narcissa, she deserves it for dating the slimy bastard..."

"The whole lot, do you understand? Don't move from that dungeon wall until Dumbledore _himself _comes to get you."

"And if you need to use that axe of yours... well we totally understand..." Sirius grinned, and James jabbed him in the side.

"Don't hurt anyone! Then we'll get in loads of trouble!" Peter yelped, and Remus shushed him.

James nodded in agreement. "Don't hurt anyone." He repeated.

The armor seemed to comprehend, and hopped down from his usual place of rest. Remus winced as the clanging began anew. He whipped around and pointed his wand at the armor. "_Silencio_." He muttered, sighing in relief when the next step the armor took only made a soft click on the floor, just like any other normal footstep.

James clapped Remus on the back as the armor headed off down the hall. "Good idea. Now the Slytherins won't even know he's coming!"

Remus sighed, and then straightened up with a start. "The Cloak!" He hissed. Sirius immediately threw it over their heads, and Remus ducked down along with Sirius so that the edges of the cloak touched the ground and hid their feet. The armor had already walked off down the corridor, presumably out of sight, though Remus wasn't looking at it. He was holding his breath as a second set of footsteps became louder, and Professor Chaunce strode passed, her heels clicking against the floor. The four boys watched her walk away in dead silence, Sirius even managing to hold back the giggles at seeing her pajamas, which were made of blue fabric with ducks imprinted on them.

When she was out of sight James yanked the Cloak down. "Come on, we've got to get to the next two within the hour, we took to long on this one." He hissed.

Remus sighed and followed after. According to James, if the spells were performed properly, three suits of armor would position themselves at the entrance to Hufflepuff Basement, Ravenclaw Tower, and Slytherin Dungeon, and prevent anyone from going in and out, until Dumbledore himself ordered them away. Remus doubted that James was that good with the charm, but it would at least cause some annoyance.

[][][][][][]

Remus should have had more faith in them, Sirius thought to himself haughtily as they entered the Great Hall for breakfast the next day. Three of the four tables were completely empty except for one or two students, and the students at the Slytherin table looked absolutely harassed. They'd probably had to run away from the armor in order to even get out.

A few minutes later they spotted Professor McGonagall and Professor Chaunce following behind Dumbledore at a frantic pace, heading off in the direction of the dungeons. Sirius spit a bit of milk out when he started laughing. James made a face and elbowed him in the ribs, but when Sirius pointed out the three teachers, James started chuckling as well.

They patiently waited until the end of breakfast. The Ravenclaw students were the first to arrive, strangely enough. Sirius heard from their table that a 7th year had managed to disenchant the suit of armor that was holding them all hostage without having to summon the staff. Mildly disappointing, but Sirius didn't doubt that the Ravenclaws were smart enough to figure out the spell used. The Slytherins were next, being led into the Great Hall by Professor McGonagall. She quickly scanned the room and saw Sirius and James fighting down laughter. She slowly extended one hand, and crooked a finger in their direction.

The two of them rose, and McGonagall's eyes narrowed. "You too, Mr. Pettigrew, and Mr. Lupin." She added after a moment. Sirius glanced back at Remus, who's face had turned a curious shade of greyish-white. The Slytherin table had begun whispering to them and laughing and pointing at the four boys, who diligently followed McGonagall out of the Great Hall and to her office. She stopped in front of the door, motioning to Sirius and James.

"You two first." She said flatly. Peter looked like he would take this opportunity to run. She waved her wand, and two chairs appeared outside the door, and Peter and Remus sat down instantly. Peter tried to struggle his way out of it, but he was literally glued to the seat. Remus just looked resigned, though he did shoot Sirius and James a glare as they entered the room along with the professor.

Sirius sat down in one of the chairs in front of McGonagall's desk, only after James had sat down first. He fidgeted a bit, but after one stern look from behind the desk he fell still. She folded her hands in front of her, her wand sitting to her right, and looked at them both in total silence for an inexorably long time. Sirius chewed on his bottom lip to keep himself occupied, while James was busying staring at a point somewhere above McGonagall's head.

"Are you _aware_, that sometime in the night, three different sets of armor apparently rose from their assigned places, walked to the openings of every house _except_ Gryffindor, and planted themselves there, not permitting anyone to leave or enter. I myself was unable to remove them, and was forced to Transfigure the one in front of Hufflepuff Basement into a _bucket _in order for the students to get to breakfast."

James looked appropriately shocked, and Sirius tried to copy his expression as best he could, mouth opening and eyes widening. "Why Professor, I had no idea." James said quickly.

James was always the first to speak. Not that he was the leader. Sirius liked to think that they were co-Generals of their four person army. But James was always able to act better than Sirius. Sirius could barely keep from laughing now. Another look from McGonagall caused him to sit up straight and meet her gaze, which was piercing him to his very soul.

"The armor informed Dumbledore that four Gryffindor boys had performed the spell. Do not look so surprised Mr. Potter. You didn't think that the Headmaster himself would be able to find out the culprits?" She leaned forward, her voice dangerous. "This enchantment was far more advanced than second year students. It concerns me that the two of you cannot complete basic Transfiguration homework, yet you can summon Siccus Snow and enchant the armor." James and Sirius started at the term "Siccus Snow". No one knew who had done that, right? Apparently she did, as McGonagall's gaze didn't change in the slightest.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor." She said after a pause. "And Professor Chaunce and I have decided that since you are so interested in making friends with the armor you will spend next Saturday cleaning every single suit of armor in the castle without magic. Filch will be supervising." She looked disappointed in them. "Mr. Pettigrew and Mr. Lupin will be joining you. Though I believe that the former is only tagging along with you because of some kind of twisted loyalty, and that Mr. Lupin is merely trying to ensure that his best friends do not get in trouble. I am ashamed that you two have caused such talent to be turned into nothing but trouble for your housemates. You may go now, and you can tell Mr. Lupin that he can come in. Mr. Pettigrew is free to go, as long as you tell him about what you have earned him."

Sirius and James jumped up from the seats and stumbled to escape the office. When they came out, Peter was nearly in tears, and Remus looked angrily resolute. "She wants you Remus. We've gotten detention, all of us, with Filch. Pete, she said you could come with us." James said quickly. Sirius looked somewhat apologetically at Remus. The other boy hated getting in trouble, and a waste of a Saturday would mean less reading of books.

Remus stood and entered the office, while Peter found himself able to rise from the seats. As soon as the two boys were standing the chairs vanished again. Sirius punched James arm lightly. "That was still pretty funny, eh?"

James grinned. "Totally worth it to see the Slytherins faces." He agreed, and the three boys waited patiently for Remus to return.

[][][][][][]

Remus felt as though his chest was going to explode. He was going to jinx Sirius until he couldn't feel his face anymore. McGonagall was staring down her nose at him, and he gripped his hand very tightly with his other hand.

"Mr. Lupin." She said quietly. At least she wasn't yelling. McGonagall never yelled though. She just spoke through gritted teeth. "I want to speak to you about your... associations."

Remus wriggled in his seat. He'd heard this lecture before. "Yes?" He said obediently, knowing she needed to get the words out.

"Mr. Black and Mr. Potter are the reason you are here. I assume that this wasn't your idea."

"No."

"Your detention this Saturday is a direct result of their actions, is it not?"

"Yes."

"You have a brilliant future ahead of you, Mr. Lupin."

"I know."

"If you allow your friends to hurt your chances of success, I shall be very disappointed in you."

"Yes, Professor."

"Very well. You are excused from Saturday's detention, but a further 20 points are taken from Gryffindor."

He sat upright in confusion, blinking at her. She'd never let him get away from detentions before. He'd only actually served one detention actually, but she hadn't let him get out of it that easily. "Professor?"

"The moon is waxing, Mr. Lupin. Saturday night will be a very busy night for you." Something like pity crossed her face, and Remus winced. He had forgotten that this Saturday night was the full moon again. On Saturday he would be barely conscious, let along able to perform in detention.

"Eh... thank you Professor."

"Tell your friends that I've decided your detention will be better spent reorganizing my library." McGonagall said as she stood.

"Oh. Yes, Professor." He stood as well as she nodded her head at him in dismissal.

He exited the room with a sigh. The three boys waiting outside immediately rounded on him.

"She tell you how you are too good to be our friend?" Sirius asked with a grin.

Remus smirked. "I am, you know."

"Of course." James put an arm around Remus' shoulders.

"She's making me reorganize her personal library instead of whatever you are doing." Remus added.

Sirius looked horrified. "Not fair! Teacher's familiar." He said irritably, but he too put his arm around Remus' shoulders, grinning at James. "Fine, but make sure to memorize something from one of her dusty old books for us to use later, or I shall be very put out."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Troublesome, she called you. I think that was an understatement."

James and Sirius laughed in unison. Peter laughed a few moments too late, trotting to keep up with them.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Now that I'm getting into the swing of things these are going much easier. Chapters will probably be slower in coming now though, but I'll still try to get one out every couple of days. Please review! Or favorite it, or link me, or something.

*_I__ngredior Liberum: _Literally translated from the Latin "walk freely"._  
_

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

As per usual:_ hotpinkfleur _for constant guidance and question-answering.


	5. Chapter 5: Two Birthdays and a Secret

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: The month of March, and two birthdays.

[][][][][][]

Remus woke up one morning to see Sirius sitting on the edge of his bed. Immediately he touched his face to see if he had been licked. When he found himself dry, he slowly sat up. Sirius was grinning, which did nothing for Remus' anxiety.

"What have you done?" He questioned, realizing his voice was far higher pitched than it should be. He cleared his throat quickly and tried to look scolding.

Sirius stuck out his lower lip and batted his eyelashes at Remus. "What _ever_ are you talking about, Remi?" He said teasingly, using the nickname that his three friends had heard his mother use, much to Remus' embarrassment.

"Shut up. What did you do? Pepper Imps in my underwear? Transfigured my robes two sizes too small? Charmed the bathroom sinks into screeching my name whenever anyone uses them?" Remus said, sliding out of bed and inspecting his belongings.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "No, but that second one is a brilliant idea, wonder if I can get James to help me get into Lucius' dormitory..." He shook his head and stood, stretching. "It's March tenth you loony." He said after he'd gotten back on subject.

"Oh." Remus felt his cheeks go pink. March tenth was his birthday, he was thirteen already. James appeared behind him and shoved three boxes into his arms. There was a fourth box at the end of his bed, from his parents presumably. He sat down on the bed, looking at the three. The one from Sirius looked fancy, like always, and the one from James was probably something practical, and the one from Peter was... well, Peter did his best.

He opened them all, starting with James' gift. It was a bookmark with a Sticking Charm, that would attach to a page and not fall out if the book fell open or something. When it was tapped with a wand, it would unstick without causing any harm to the books at all. Remus thanked him profusely, and opened the next one. Sirius had given him an entire array of candy, from Honeyduke's chocolate to Everlasting Lemon Drops, and even some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Remus knew that Sirius just enjoyed watching Remus try to guess flavors. He always managed to guess wrong though. He popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth and opened Peter's, which was a drawing of the four of them, rather smudged and mangled. Remus guessed that the one with huge circles was James, and the one with a shock of black hair was Sirius, and then his miniature self had a rather unfortunate blotch of a nose. Peter had even tried to charm them to actually move like a real painting, but all they did was vibrate nervously and the little Remus blinked every so often.

Still, it was nice, nicer than the presents from his parents of new trousers and a belt and a stack of handkerchiefs embroidered with "R.J.L" on the corner by his mother. He was used to getting only practical gifts from his parents though. They were quite poor after all, and Remus appreciated being able to get new clothes during the school year, when Sirius and James were ruining his socks and his own less-than-wonderful Potions work was staining his shirts and jumpers.

At the breakfast table he received congratulations from almost everyone, and Kalinda awarded him 10 points for sharing some of his chocolate with her, and all in all it was a good day. And just like with Lily's birthday, that evening in the common room someone had shown up with a cake and a punch bowl full of juice, and Remus stood, embarrassed, as he sliced the cake and handed out plates. Sirius and James had not touched any of the birthday cakes since January, but he assured them that he hadn't done anything to the cake, and they each ate two pieces, and Peter ate three. Lily even presented him with a gift "for not being such a git like your friends" and Remus was very pleased to see that it was the book _Tips and Tricks for Potions Success_. He'd wanted it, but hadn't been able to afford it.

[][][][][][]

That night, he was curled up in bed reading the chapter on "_Deciphering a Potion's Instructions_" and picking out which jelly beans weren't disgusting. He'd just found a mango one, and was chewing it happily when James and Sirius bounded up the stairs. He nearly spilled the entire box of beans in his effort to put them away and close his book – the bookmark James had given him stuck in the pages – before they saw him.

"Remus, come on." James grabbed him and yanked him up from the bed. Remus went semi-voluntarily, but looked back longingly at his cozy bed and the unfinished book.

James dragged him down, and Sirius was right behind them, as they exited the portrait hole and headed up the stairs. "Pete's already waiting." Sirius explained as they broke into a near jog. Remus was forced to speed up to keep up with them, not to mention that James' grip on his wrist was tightening with every stairway that they climbed.

They made it to the top of the Astronomy Tower before too much longer. James finally released Remus' arm, and Sirius pushed him forward to the edge of the balcony overlooking the grounds. The brunette looked around in confusion, and Sirius and James walked around to the front of him. They'd dragged him out of Gryffindor Tower without even telling him what they were doing.

Peter was holding the Invisibility Cloak, James had probably left it with him in case Professor Sinistra or someone had come along while he was waiting. But it was well after midnight and all was quiet. Filch rarely came up this high.

James was grinning, and his excitement was infectious. "_Lumos_." He muttered, and the starlight coming from outside was drowned out by the light from his wand. The Astronomy Tower had been decorated with streamers that were twisted in several odd directions, another drawing done by Peter, only slightly less sloppy, and a great big barrel labeled "Butterbeer". Remus stared at it. He'd heard the third years talking about their Hogsmeade trip. But Sirius and James definitely were not allowed to go.

"What the..." He found himself muttering.

Sirius chuckled. "We found this amazing secret passageway. It leads straight into Honeyduke's! James and I bought the barrel and snuck it back in here, covered it in the Cloak until now."

James grabbed four goblets – probably "taken" from the kitchen – and started to pour them each a glass. "This stuff is amazing, Remus."

They each drank at nearly the same time, and Remus exhaled slowly as a tingly warmth filled him from head to toe, his joints immediately loosening. He'd never felt this relaxed before when they were out after hours. In fact, he was sure that the butterbeer had some kind of evil magical property that was forcing his usually alert senses into nothing more than little voices in the back of his head. They grew even quieter with his next swallow.

"Best birthday ever?" Sirius questioned, a lazy grin on his face, half his goblet already empty. Remus momentarily wondered how many times before James and Sirius had been to Hogsmeade to drink butterbeer. He decided he didn't really want to know, and took another drink.

"It's all right I suppose." He said loftily, and James punched his arm, nearly making him drop his goblet. All four of them let out a laugh, though Peter cut them off early because someone might hear.

[][][][][][]

At the end of the month, James' birthday took precedence over schoolwork for a little bit. Sirius took Remus aside with a desire to plan. Usually James was the planner, but Sirius didn't want to ruin the surprise, so when he and Remus sat on his bed he yanked the curtain around them. "Okay, so tomorrow..."

"James' birthday?" Remus asked, tilting his head to the side.

"No, my bar mitzvahs. Of course James' birthday." Sirius waved a hand. "What are we doing?"

"Um... well I'm going to be gone." Remus said lightly.

"What?" Sirius said, looking upset.

"Tomorrow is the fu... first time I'm going to be able to see my mum in a while."

"You just visited her last month." Sirius protested, but the look on Remus' face grew so distressed that he shrunk back. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like..."

"Doesn't matter." Remus cut in.

"Couldn't you just wait... just a little while?" Sirius said pleadingly. "I need someone to help me set up the Astronomy Tower again, and Peter isn't any good with decorations except he thinks he's some kind of artist, and I need someone to help me carry back the butterbeer."

"I can't." Remus looked vaguely ill when Sirius suggested waiting. He always looked a bit sick whenever he talked about having to go see his mother. Sirius had noticed in the past week he'd been tired and a bit cranky again. "I absolutely have to leave that evening, after dinner. Dumbledore is coming to get me himself."

"Well... at least stay for cake in the common room." Sirius begged.

Remus stared at him, and Sirius knew that the other boy was debating mentally in his head whether or not to agree. Sirius' mouth broke into a grin the moment he saw the faintest twitch in Remus' shoulders. Whenever the boy lowered his shoulders, it meant that he was agreeing to whatever they said, no matter what emotion was on his face. "All... all right. _Just_ for cake though."

"Brilliant! You and I are getting it from the elves after dinner. I guess I'll have Peter help me in the Tower, and get the butterbeer, but I bet he'll spill it."

"Are you guys talking about me?" Peter poked his head into the closed curtains around Sirius' bed.

Sirius smirked. "I have a very super special secret mission for you, Pettigrew."

Peter perked up. "Yes sir!" He said, saluting and accidentally hitting himself in the head. "Ouch."

"Come on then. Lupin, I leave you to decide on cake flavors."

Sirius left Remus sitting on the bed, and pushed Peter out of the portrait hole and down the stairs. Sirius had "borrowed" the Invisibility Cloak earlier that day from James' trunk, and now he fished it out.

"Where are we going?" Peter said excitedly.

"Hogsmeade." Sirius said. He took Peter to a humpbacked witch statue, tapping her and whispering _dissendium_. "James and I found this over Christmas Break, we used it to get Remus butterbeer. Now you and I are going to get some." Peter looked thrilled to be let in on the secret, sliding down the hole that appeared in the statue. Sirius went right behind him, making sure the statue closed before heading down the tunnel.

[][][][][][]

James woke up on March 27th with a feeling of triumph. Finally, he was thirteen. Finally, he was no longer a "kid" and could be categorized as a "teenager". It wasn't much of a step up really, no one would respect him more, no one would suddenly give him more privileges, but he liked the idea that the years ahead of him would be filled with drama and angst and "new, not-so-fresh feelings" as Sirius had put it delicately.

He hopped out of bed to see Sirius holding three boxes of presents, and seeing several more boxes at the foot of his bed, all from his family. Remus was behind Sirius, and Peter was on his other side. His attention focused on Remus for a minute though. Sirius had mentioned that Remus said he was going off to St. Mungo's again tonight, not even able to stay for the "secret" party in the Astronomy Tower. Sirius had been really subtle in using Peter as his assistant, since Peter would tell James anything at all if James asked him. Apparently the Astronomy Tower was going to be a traditional birthday location for the four of them now.

Remus looked strained and weak, his knuckles white as he gripped one of the posts on his bed. James tore into his presents. A painting of himself on a broom from Peter (poor Peter, he suddenly had this fantasy that he was an artist, but at least this one didn't try and move), a gold pin in the shape of a lion from Sirius that would – according to the dark-haired boy – scream "SLIMY GIT" whenever Severus Snape came within thirty feet of James, and a glasses case, cloth, and cleaner from Remus, since James frequently dropped his glasses on the floor and lost them when he went to bed. Remus was more of a fan of "practical" gifts, but James didn't mind, and he thanked them all before opening the presents from his various family members.

All morning he was congratulated. Lily handed him a tiny box, but she had that strangely sweet look on her face again, and James didn't like it, so he hid it in his book bag and decided to leave it alone until he could find a good detection spell to use later that day.

[][][][][][]

Remus actually fell asleep in History of Magic. Sirius and James tried to see which one of them could stick the most slips of parchment under the collar of his shirt. He woke suddenly in the middle of class with a yelp, earning a look from the entire class as he yanked all twenty pieces of parchment from the back of his shirt. Professor Binns didn't even notice, and Sirius and James burst into a fit of laughter. Remus glared at them and muttered something, and a moment later the legs on their chairs had become entirely unable to hold their weight and broke. This time Professor Binns stopped his lecture and stared at them both.

"Mister Potter... and Black..." He said monotonously, his semi-transparent eyes torn between annoyance and boredom. "Disruptions are not welcome in my class, if you continue you will be asked to leave. Now, about the Troll Wars of 1792..."

James fixed their chairs and they sat back down, and Remus shot them a look before resting his forehead on his desk again. Sirius looked at him and scribbled on his parchment, now determined to be even quieter.

"**what do you suppose is his deal?**"

"_well, he's sposed to be going to St. Mungos tonite. maybe hes stressed?_" James scrawled back, the "skritching" of his quill the only sound in the quiet room. Remus wasn't the only student sleeping.

"**yea but that doesnt explain why hes tired NOW**"

James looked over at Remus, who was clearly asleep again. James even thought he saw drool. "_its the same as it always is hes always tired before he goes, and after_"

Sirius looked annoyed as he wrote quickly, his thick block letters smearing together in his haste. "**what if hes lying then? it doesnt make any sense that hes tired before AND after the trip after all i mean, hes sposed to be taking care of his mum so wouldnt he be paying more attention now and be tired after? i don't think his mum is sick.**"

"_well what other explanation is there?_" James frowned in confusion.

"**havent you noticed he always leaves before dark and its always once a month?**"

"_so?_"

"**SO st. mungos visiting hours are already over by the time he leaves and once a month always around the full moon and you heard what those kids were saying about the shrieking shack that it got haunted by some spirits the SAME YEAR we came to school**"

James stopped and stared at Sirius. He set down his quill, glancing at Remus and then whispering, "Are you suggesting what I _think_ you are suggesting?"

Sirius made a "hmph" and nodded. "Those scars? Getting tired every time the moon waxes? Come on, we studied it just a month ago in DADA. _I_ think he's a we-"

James slapped his hand across Sirius' mouth and looked over in horror as Remus grunted and opened his eyes again. It was a good thing that a moment later the bell chimed for the end of class, because Professor Binns looked about ready to turn them both into ghosts as well.

Remus gathered up all his things, and James and Sirius followed behind him. Strange that _Sirius _would be the one to come to that conclusion. No offense to his friend, but James did consider himself the slightly smarter of the two. After all, James did actually crack open a book now and again, and he never even knew that Sirius was paying attention during Defense Against the Dark Arts when Professor Chaunce had been lecturing on werewolves.

Now though... it made sense. It made a _lot_ of sense.

James stared at the back of Remus' head, chewing on his bottom lip until Peter jogged up next to him and disrupted his thoughts.

[][][][][][]

That evening Remus himself had gone down and gotten the cake, but Sirius suspected that he'd been forced to use magic to carry it up. His arms were little more than wet noodles right now. The words he had almost spoken in History of Magic struck him again. "_I think he's a werewolf._"

James had refused to bring the subject up again that day, even when Remus vanished sometime around lunch to inform the house elves of their need for cake and juice. His blond friend had asked what they were talking about, but Sirius didn't tell Peter. The boy couldn't be trusted not to tell someone something that important.

It was getting darker outside. Sirius looked at the window, then at Remus, who was also staring nervously outside. He looked even more pale and grey than usual. They usually never saw him after dinner on the nights when he "went to St. Mungo's". But he had promised Sirius he would at least stay for cake and to wish James a happy birthday.

Just as James started to cut the cake however, Professor McGonagall burst through the portrait hole. She looked furious and yet concerned. When her eyes caught Remus with a plate in hand, she pointed at him. "Mr. Lupin! You will come with me _at once_." She said. He dropped his plate on a table and immediately followed after her out the portrait hole. Sirius caught James' eye.

Within a millisecond they communicated silently across the table. James handed the knife to someone else on the pretense of needing the bathroom, and he and Sirius slipped through the group of Gryffindors and out the entrance, hurrying down the stairs. They stopped dead and hid behind a statue near the front entrance, where McGonagall was scolding Remus. It wasn't a voice they had ever heard before though. Her tone was much more frantic, almost desperate.

"To leave it so late! You are putting everyone in danger! Why would you think for a moment that this is acceptable?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, really, it's just James' birthday and they asked me, and I was only going to stay for a little while, I promise..." Remus looked harassed but also very guilty. Sirius himself felt a bolt of guilt as McGonagall took him by the shoulder and headed out of the castle.

Sirius and James snuck up to the doors and opened them a crack, watching as McGonagall lead Remus out onto the lawn. "They can't be Apparating, so where ever he goes must be on the grounds themselves..." James whispered.

"Hello boys." The calm voice of Albus Dumbledore caused the two of them to spin around.

"Headmaster." James greeted innocently, slowly closing the door with his foot.

"James, isn't there a celebration going on in Gryffindor for you? Happy Birthday by the way." Dumbledore peered over his glasses at them, and Sirius fidgeted.

"Uh, yes, we were just... getting some air. All those admirers would smother me to death if I gave them the chance."

Sirius marveled that James could joke at a time like this. Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled, and he looked at the door above their heads. "Perhaps it would be best if you returned to Gryffindor Tower. You are nearly after hours."

James glanced over his shoulder and then back. Sirius could almost hear what he was thinking, and his eyes widened as he looked at his friend. James gave him a "hey you only live once" expression, before clearing his throat. "Sir... is it true that the Shrieking Shack was only built a year or two ago?"

Dumbledore paused, looking at first James, and then Sirius. Sirius felt the soft gaze as though it were a surgeon's knife, slicing him open to peer at his insides. Sirius never hesitated in front of teachers. But Dumbledore was something unique. The old man was kind and yet there was a ferocity to the way he moved and the rumors that had been told about him that gave him a dangerous air. Then slowly, the bearded man nodded. "Indeed that is so."

"Well how does a building so new end up all locked up, and possessed by angry ghosts?" James continued, undeterred by the headmaster's steely expression.

"I admire your curiosity, James. But I must say that I do not rightly know the answer to your question. I think... perhaps... you really wish to ask an entirely _different_ question. But no, I will not give you the answer to that question either. It is not my place to reveal details about Remus Lupin's ill mother. It would serve you well to return to Gryffindor Tower at once in fact, for your _own safety_." He said the last two words with much more emphasis than before. Sirius was unsure if he meant their safety from Remus, or their safety from Dumbledore himself.

Sirius grabbed James' hand and nodded to the headmaster. James huffed a bit as though he would have liked to say more, but allowed Sirius to drag him towards the stairs. When they were out of sight Sirius released James' hand, and turned to him. "Are you trying to get us in even more trouble?"

"He _knows_, Sirius. He knows about whatever Remus is doing. I just wanted to know too." James insisted, looking irritated that he was prevented from getting more information. "I mean, if Remus is a we – if he is a _you-know-what_, then Dumbledore would have to know, would have to make special accommodations for him. If the other parents found out that their kids were in school with one of those things-"

"Don't say 'things'!" Sirius snapped suddenly, the first time he'd been genuinely angry about something James had said in a long time.

James waved a hand. "I'm not calling Remus a thing, Sirius. I'm just saying that's what everyone thinks of _them_. They're monsters, Sirius. I mean, I heard my parents talking in whispers once about them. Parents would threaten Dumbledore, they'd go to the Ministry, they'd say all sorts of things, they'd even threaten Remus' family!"

Sirius' eyes narrowed. "That isn't right! He's a human 29 days of the month!" He hissed. James sighed as they returned to the portrait hole.

"_I_ know that. But people... well, you know it as well as I do. We'll just have to keep his secret, that's all." James said, before muttering the password and climbing in.

"Oh, I'll keep it." Sirius said firmly as he stepped in, his face set into a stubborn grimace.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Oh boy, things are heating up! You can expect that things will be reaching a climax soon (get your minds out of the gutter!) and soon after that 2nd year will be over for our little marauders. As always, please read and review!

Also: One note on the use of the word "jumper". Ordinarily I use American terminology and spelling (I'm just too accustomed to it). However, in this instance I decided to use the British term for the item of clothing. A jumper, for those of you who don't know, is a warm shirt, often knitted. In the American version of the books the word "jumper" was replaced with "sweater".

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Dorothy, NonrealityRocks, and LoverFaery_: for commenting and letting me know how I'm doing! commentators keep me (and my fanfiction) alive!


	6. Chapter 6: Secrets Revealed

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: The "climax" of second year, at the very end of April.

[][][][][][]

In mid-April about half the students went home for Easter. Remus was among them, and so Sirius and James were alone. Peter was once again home as well. His parents were quite insistent on that fact, and his three friends didn't force him to stay.

Sirius looked at James from across the small table where they were busy playing poker. Sirius' cards were looking at him accusingly, he rolled his eyes as the two knaves threatened each other with their tiny spears. "Would you stop it." He whispered, and they settled down, still glaring.

James looked up at him curiously, smirking. "I'll take two cards." He said lightly, putting two of his cards face down and taking the two that Sirius handed him.

Sirius wasn't good at this game in the slightest. Apparently he had trouble hiding the expressions from his faces, plus his cards were quite rebellious, always trying to start a war between them. He hissed at them a second time as a third knave joined his hand, trying to hide his enthusiasm at a three-of-a-kind. James rolled his eyes.

"Fold." James said suddenly, setting his cards down. They all cried out in protest. "Oh shut up, he's got three jacks, I can hear them all arguing."

Sirius sighed in exasperation. "How do Muggles play this game?"

"Their cards don't talk." James pointed out, gathering up the cards. They learned the game from Remus and Peter, who had suggested it as an alternative to Exploding Snap one day last year when Sirius had burned off his eyebrows. It didn't work quite as well when using James' cards as it did when using Remus' ordinary Muggle cards.

Sirius stretched. "I'm BORED." He said, rubbing his eyes.

"We could try and find a spell to get into the girl's dormitory."

"That just means research in the library. Dull."

"We could sneak into Slytherin Dungeon and rearrange everything."

"We just did that a week ago. Dull."

"We could get the fat lady to change the password to 'Sirius Black is a great big pimple'."

Sirius glared at his friend. "You're jealous of my blemish free face." He said haughtily.

James sighed and set the cards back in his book bag, ordering them to hush when they protested. "Well fine, what do _you_ want to do?"

Sirius propped a hand up on the table. "What about going down to the kitchens and getting something to eat?"

"We just ate two hours ago, it's barely teatime." James protested.

Sirius' head fell forward with a clunk on the table and he groaned. "There's nothing to do! We've officially run out of tricks. There's nothing left! We'll have to retire and live in a little house in the country."

James patted the top of his head reassuringly. "We'll think of something. How about sneaking into Honeyduke's?"

Sirius perked his head up. "I have an idea!" He said suddenly. "Get the Cloak!"

James raised an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders, fishing the Invisibility Cloak out from his book bag and following Sirius out the common room and through the portrait hole.

[][][][][][]

"How the hell is anyone supposed to get into this?" Sirius said, staring up at the Shrieking Shack.

James shifted back and forth on the fresh spring grass. He still had the Cloak around his shoulders, but it was off enough that he was quite visible. Sirius had broken out of the Cloak once they had gotten far enough up the hill so that no one was in sight anymore. The two of them were alone. And no one would get this close to the house anyway. Sirius was close enough to touch the walls.

Sirius frowned and walked a bit further down the side of the house. "This doesn't make any sense. There aren't any doors, the only window is way the hell up there on the third floor, it really doesn't make any sense at all."

"You said that already, about five minutes ago." James commented idly.

Sirius frowned. "I know that!" He snapped, reaching out hesitantly and knocking hard on the wall.

James rolled his eyes and pulled out his wand. "_Specialis Revelio_." He said, motioning his wand at the building.

Absolutely nothing happened. The Shrieking Shack simply looked like the same creepy old house it always had looked like. Then again, James could have done the spell wrong. He doubted it though. The Shack had no weird magical properties. It was just a building.

Sirius kicked the wall, grunting. "Okay, so we'll just climb up to that window up there." He said determinedly.

James stared, as Sirius pursed his lips and thought. "How?"

"Um... levitate me." Sirius said. "Then I'll do it to you when I get in."

James rolled his eyes and nodded. "_Wingardium Leviosa!_" He announced. They'd never lifted something as heavy as a person before though, and so it was a moment of concentration before Sirius finally felt himself rising.

He gave James a pleading look that said "_don't drop me_", because he was afraid if he said the words out loud then he would break James' focus and he really would fall.

It took several minutes before Sirius' head reached the height of the window. "_Alohomora_." He said quickly, and the window popped open. Thankfully Sirius wasn't any fatter, because he just barely managed to squeeze his way in. He leaned over and looked down at James, who now looked worried. "All right, your turn!"

Within five minutes James as well was clambering through the circular window. He looked back at the height he had just traveled, and looked almost scared. "I do not want to get back down." He muttered nervously.

Sirius ignored him and headed for the door on the other side of the room, after lighting his wand so that he could see the corners that the tiny window's light didn't penetrate. "This room looks all right." He commented. It was a little slanted attic. Dusty, and empty of all furniture, but it was normal looking as far as rooms went.

They climbed down the stairs, but as they entered the second floor of the house the atmosphere drastically changed. The stair railing at the bottom was torn to pieces. Hunks of wood ranging from the size of Beater's bats to mere splinters were scattered on the floor. The last stair was obliterated. Sirius stared around, moving his wand so that in the windowless space they could see everything.

This floor was just one huge room. There were a few pieces of furniture, and a mattress on one end, a spring sticking out of it. Sirius raised an eyebrow. Great gouges were torn from the walls, as though a thousand claws had reigned terror down on the wallpaper and wood beneath. James examined them.

"Bloody hell, these walls are thick!" He commented. "Look, this room is way smaller on the inside than it had seemed on the outside. At least a foot."

Sirius scowled and knocked on the walls. A dull thud resonated from his knuckles. He nodded in agreement. Over on the mattress, he saw slices in the covers, and when he bent over there were several long, coarse, grey hairs trapped in the exposed coil. He examined them with a sigh, then collapsed onto the uncomfortable mattress.

"I guess this must be where Remus goes. But I don't see how." Sirius said in annoyance, shifting on the uncomfortable thing. "I can't believe he climbs through that window once a month."

"Well we haven't seen it all, let's go downstairs." James said lightly. They inched down the stairs to the first floor.

This stairway was nearly destroyed by what appeared to be great powerful feet, and they had to jump over stairs that were entirely decimated. The ground floor was separated into two different rooms. One of them was a bedroom, containing a great big four poster bed, dilapidated and with grossly stained curtains. Sirius touched it. One of the dark brown stains looked like blood. A shiver ran down his spine.

In the next room was a large pile of blankets, and a very ancient piano, which was strangely untouched. Sirius doubted that it worked, even as James dared to press a single finger to a key. The ping echoed in the nearly empty room. Sirius glared at him quietly and he moved away from the piano. All in all, the Shrieking Shack was a desolate and terrifying place. Sirius quietly imagined Remus on the night of the full moon. He wouldn't even be able to see the moon rise above the clouds in this windowless place. A twelve year old boy came in here, and sat on the floor, or maybe on the mattress upstairs, and waited for a painful and agonizing transformation. Utterly alone, probably scared out of his wits. Sirius wondered how long Remus had been a werewolf. Of course the Shrieking Shack had been built a year before they'd started school, deliberately for the preparation of Remus' arrival, so at least three years, maybe four, and probably more.

"This place..." Sirius said quietly.

"I know." James said, his voice just as quiet. They were both thinking the exact same thing. Sirius felt remorse and guilt for ever having come here.

James blinked and noticed a rug on the floor, oddly placed and off-center. He bent down, yanking the rug up. The wood underneath was a strange color, the dust disturbed very recently. James looked at it curiously, and Sirius walked over. They both stared at the small square of floor, pursing their lips and furrowing their brow in almost the exact same fashion. There was a small circle on one end, like a depressed knob, and Sirius walked over, yanking on it. It remained firmly in place.

"_Alohomora_?" James suggested, flicking his wand at the square. Despite the questioning nature of the spell, there was still a derisive click, and the square of floor popped up instantly. There was a hiss of escaping air, and Sirius immediately grabbed the edge of the wood and yanked it up. They stared down at the hole beneath, which was dark. Sirius shrugged, and jumped down without a second thought.

He waved his wand in all directions to assuage where he had landed, and the tunnel that he was now standing in lit up for a few feet. "Come on James. This has to be the way back to the castle!"

James dropped down a few moments after him. Sirius lead the way down the tunnel, frowning. The bespectacled boy behind him was muttering to himself something about directions. "...if the Shrieking Shack is at the north end of Hogsmeade... probably heading south to the castle..." Sirius suspected he was trying to calculate where they were going to end up.

[][][][][][]

The tunnel went down a ways, and then they steadily began going uphill again. The tunnel walls grew wider at the middle – Sirius suspected it was the middle anyway, according to James' ramblings about distance and whatnot – and then it narrowed again. Finally Sirius noticed that roots were poking down from above, meaning that they must have been near the Forbidden Forest. A few more yards, and his wand shone upon a kind of small wall blocking their way, probably the opening.

Sirius stopped in front of it, and James smacked into him, causing the taller of the two to tumble forward and hit the opening. He grunted, and the light on his wand went out. They were left in the pitch dark, scrambling to move without hitting each other and failing miserably.

"Merlin's pants, that's my ear!" Sirius yelped, pushing at James and hearing a thump. Immediately, failing daylight from the opening spilled into the tunnel. In pushing James into the wall, he had apparently opened it. James blinked, and poked his head through to see where they were. He yanked his head back down, eyes wide.

"Sirius! We're underneath the Whomping Willow!" He said with a mixture of awe and fear.

"That's brilliant. No one ever goes near the damn thing." Sirius said lightly. "How are we supposed to get out?"

"Dunno. But it's not moving right now. I bet if we're real careful and don't touch the trunk we can make a run for it. It'll be dark soon, we've got to hurry." James hoisted himself out of the hole and very carefully got to his feet, making sure not to touch the tree itself or make too many sudden movements near it.

Sirius followed, also being very careful, until they were both out of range of the wicked branches of the tree. James yanked the Cloak out of his pocket when they got near the castle, dragging it over their heads. They snuck in through the front doors, and quietly made their way through the halls and back up to Gryffindor Tower. Inside their dormitory, they shed the Cloak and collapsed into their beds.

They were both silent. Sirius knew that James was thinking about the same things he was. The image of Remus, trapped in that place. Of having to get past the Whomping Willow just so he could transform into something that he couldn't control. Professor Chaunce's voice rang out in his head, her lecture on werewolves one of the few that he had actually listened to. "_The werewolf is not like other creatures. It will not simply hunt for food. It will actively find humans, and kill or bite them as well. It has a thirst for blood which would not be quenched with ten thousand kills, and it will continue to cause mayhem until it is forced back into its human form at the end of the night. If it is locked up, and prevented from causing harm, it will attack itself instead, causing itself pain in order to release some of the pent-up rage._"

Sirius felt sick to his stomach. He sat up abruptly, looking at James, who had followed suit. They stared at each other, not speaking. Eventually James smirked, and nodded. "We'll help him, Sirius. No matter what, we'll help him."

[][][][][][]

Remus was _trying_ to read. It was the day after Easter vacation, and he had returned to Hogwarts. Unfortunately he'd done almost no reading whatsoever over the break, a combination of spending time with family and then going through the full moon just a day before he had to get back on the Hogwarts Express. So today, although it was only Sunday and he had minimal homework to complete, he had sat down with _Tips and Tricks for Potions Success_ to try and glean some knowledge from it.

Instead, he was finding himself unable to focus. He was tired, and his arms felt so heavy he could barely lift them. His shoulders were covered in black and yellow and purple bruises. He'd been avoiding changing in front of Sirius and James just for that reason.

The two boys – Peter was the same as ever – were treating him marginally differently all of a sudden. They had greeted him upon his return from home with smiles, but none of the pats on the back. Remus was certainly grateful for this, as his frail body surely would have snapped like a twig under Sirius' usual greeting of a punch on the shoulder or even a tackle. But it was quite curious. Though perhaps they were still feeling strange about his mum. Except it had been several months since he had last used that excuse.

He jerked upright as his head fell forward, his eyes closing to sleep. He shook his head slightly, yawning. He had to finish this chapter on _Clockwise versus Counterclockwise: how the very motions of your cauldron affect your potion_. Professor Slughorn was giving a test on Boil-Cure Potion tomorrow. It was an elementary brew, but Remus still had managed to mess it up so that instead of red it had turned a strange purple color when he'd made it last year. When tested, it had worked just fine, but with a small side-effect that it turned the skin underneath the boil bright green. Slughorn had given him partial marks, and Remus knew that the test tomorrow was his only chance to regain some points. The Potions professor was only giving it to them because it was one of the easiest potions to do, giving his students a chance to recover from the holiday.

It was only just after dinner, but Remus felt very much like he could have slept through the whole evening, and indeed through Transfiguration the next day as well. He blinked several times and stared at the page without actually seeing it. In frustration he rubbed his eyes until spots appeared, and when they faded he felt only marginally more awake.

"Hey, Remus." Sirius dropped onto his bed next to Remus', and he jerked upright, trying to look as alert as possible while the dark-haired boy looked at him expectantly.

"H-hey Sirius." He said, hating the weakness and uncertainty he heard in his own voice.

Sirius blinked. "Are you reading _again_? Blimey, Remus. You look like you should be sleeping, not worrying about Slughorn's stupid class."

"It's the only class I don't have top marks in." Remus protested. Sirius rolled his eyes and Remus gave up, knowing that the other boy didn't give a flying Billywig whether or not he was at the head of their class.

"Come on, give off studying for _one_ minute."

"Just because you and Mr. Potter can go without studying and still pass every test with a hundred and fifty percent does not mean that the rest of us have that ability, Sirius." Remus said rather coldly. His own exhaustion made him quite short-tempered.

Sirius stopped talking. Remus raised an eyebrow. Normally Sirius would either send him back an equally scathing remark, or try and hex him, or simply punch or tackle him into the bed. Now though, Sirius stopped their argument abruptly, as though he didn't want to anger Remus any further. Remus actually felt a little guilty about snapping, if Sirius wasn't going to get back at him.

"I just thought you looked like you could use some sleep." Sirius said flatly, his face pinched in annoyance.

Remus snorted softly. "I'll let you know if I need your advice, since you've suddenly had the desire to become a Healer." He reached up to pull his curtain closed so he could read in silence. Sirius let out a shocked sound and reached over, dragging the curtain open forcefully.

As Remus had reached up, the sleeve of his robe had fallen down, revealing his left wrist, swollen blue and purple, with a bright red patch of raw skin around the joint. Sirius stared at it, even as Remus hastily slid his arm back into his sleeve.

"Bloody hell Remus... it looks like... it looks like you were in manacles, for Merlin's sake." Sirius said quietly.

Remus forced himself to laugh, as James entered the dormitory. "What's so funny?"

Sirius didn't move, which made James come over, a worried look on his face. Peter was right behind him. Remus stared at the three faces. His three friends. He'd never had friends before, he'd never realized how precious they were. People that cared about him, that wanted him to be happy. Sirius and James would joke if he said that out loud, claiming they only kept him around because he did all their homework, but Remus knew it had to be more than that. They were just as smart as he was, probably smarter. They had become his friend for some other reason, right?

"Do they chain you up?" Sirius asked. There was a dangerous tone to his voice, it was similar to the voice he had used when reading his family's Christmas letter over the break. His eyes glittered fiercely, and his fists were clenched tight with repressed emotion.

James started, and when Peter attempted to pipe up next to him, James clapped a hand over his mouth, muffling whatever the blond had been about to say. "Shut for a minute, Pete." He hissed, and then he stepped forward. "What in the name of Snivellus' giant gaping nostrils are you talking about, Sirius?"

Sirius grabbed Remus' arm, which made the boy flail in a mix of terror and pain, and yanked back his sleeve. James nearly jumped a foot in the air. Peter looked like he really, really wanted to say something, but his order from James was as effective as a good Tongue-Tying Curse. Remus yanked his arm back, rubbing the bruises gingerly.

"It's not what you think. I got into a fight with one of my cousins over break-"

"Shut it, Remus." Sirius said coldly. James put a hand on his friend's arm, but Sirius plowed on. "I asked you a question. Do they chain you up when you turn?"

Remus' mouth suddenly felt very dry. His lips were parted in shock, and he closed them slowly, swallowing several times until his salivary glands decided to participate again. "I don't know what you're talking abo-"

James waved a hand. "We've been in the Shrieking Shack, Remus. We heard you talking to McGonagall, and we've seen all the signs. We _know_."

"You know." Remus echoed dully. So, that was it then. The only three people that had ever been close to him except for his parents had found out. He knew it was only a matter of time. 2nd year was a bit soon, but he had forgone all caution when dealing with Sirius and James and Peter, and now he had to pay the price.

Sirius slumped back down on his bed. "I dunno why you didn't tell us. All that bunk about your mum..."

Remus felt a sudden surge of annoyance and frustration. "Tell you? _Tell you_!"

James seemed to understand his consternation, and he moved his arm from Sirius to Remus, touching his shoulder lightly. Remus however, was not about to be consoled, and he stood up from his bed, flinging James' arm off and glaring at Sirius. Exhaustion pulled at him, but was rebuffed by the anger building in his stomach and rising up his esophagus through his chest.

"Do you have _any_ idea what this feels like? No, you don't, so why don't _you_ shut it! I've been going through this since I was _four years old_. My parents chain me in the basement because otherwise I would _kill them_. I can't control it, I can't do anything but let it take over until I'm this monster, and all I want is to hunt and maim and kill. They didn't _want_ to. Mum cries _every damn time. _She can't even _look_ at me after, when Dad is fixing all my bruises and wounds from where I was hitting myself against the wall and biting and scratching myself. When I was seven they asked me if I wanted to be chained up still, and _I said yes_! Because the last thing I wanted to do was to cause harm to the _only_ people who love me, Merlin forbid that I bite one of them!" Remus raved, aware that Peter behind them was looking Confunded and Sirius was shrinking in on himself. Remus had _never_ yelled before, not even when Sirius had made his hair bright blue, or when James had spilled an entire bottle of ink on the essay that had taken Remus two days to write. It was strangely freeing, like a great weight was flying off his chest. He inhaled, prepared to continue, but James actively grabbed his upper arm this time.

"Remus, stop. We get it." He said firmly. He suddenly looked ten years older, an adult, and he tugged Remus down onto his bed and patted his shoulder a bit awkwardly. "Sirius is a dolt, just calm down. Everyone is going to hear you."

Remus flushed scarlet and covered his face in his hands. His voice was muffled behind his sleeves. "God I feel so _stupid_. How could you guys know?"

Peter now spoke up, staring at his three friends with wide and bewildered eyes."So uh... _what_ do we know?"

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Oh _Peter_... as you can tell from this exciting chapter that we're coming to a close on the boy's second year at Hogwarts. Next chapter skips straight to summer vacation!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_puppylove91_: for letting me know that people aren't just reading the first chapter and then abandoning me. xD


	7. Chapter 7: On Holiday

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: July 1973.

[][][][][][]

Remus stared at the train tracks, nibbling on the edge of a jelly bean. He spit it out immediately when he discovered it was Shampoo, tossing it in the garbage he had moved closer to after opening the box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. It wasn't just because his mother was standing right next to him, because Remus would have thrown his candy in the trash whether or not her disapproving gaze watched him test jelly beans. The next one proved to be Chocolate Milkshake, and Remus popped the remainder in his mouth with gusto.

"I just don't know about visiting these Potters." His mother began again, growing nervous.

"Maggie, you've got to let the boy stay with his friends." His father said for the third time since they had arrived at the train station to await the arrival of James.

They had agreed – after a full month of arguments – that Remus could stay with the Potters for two weeks. And two weeks _only_. They had timed it directly in the middle of transformations, so that Remus was well recovered from the last full moon and wouldn't feel the effects of the next until he was already back home. James and his parents had also agreed that James and his father would ride the train out to meet Remus, so that Remus didn't have to ride the train to Godric's Hollow all by himself.

Remus was buzzing quietly with excitement. Sirius was going to be there too, and Peter, though only for one week, since his mother was complaining about Peter not wanting to spend enough time with his family. Sirius had told him by owl that Peter's mum had cried when he tried to ask her to go, claiming that her little boy didn't ever want to spend any time with her. Remus was even grateful for the single week in which they would be able to spend time together as a group again.

Lemon, not so bad, Remus chewed the sour yellow bean as a whistle went off in the distance. He was deliberately not looking at either of his parents. They were looking at each other over his head, silently talking to one another. It was similar to the way that James and Sirius communicated, except for a different reason. They were arguing, and they didn't want to upset Remus, so they were using only their eyes.

"_He's only a boy_." His mother's hand gripped his shoulder as he immediately threw away a sickly greenish-yellow jelly bean and rifled through for something better. Vanilla Bean, good.

"_He's thirteen, and it's only for two weeks, nothing bad will happen._" His father's fingers twitched and curled into a fist.

His mother considered him "frail" as though he felt ill all the time. Today though, he felt just fine. He had given himself a black eye five days earlier when he transformed, but his father had nearly become a fully-fledged Healer in the last nine years and now there was only a little pink and yellow bruising near his eyebrow. Really, he was feeling quite wonderful, his stomach fluttering slightly in happiness and his eyes flickering over the windows.

After a few moments, James leaped the four steps to get off the train and nearly fell over, straightening and grinning at Remus brightly. "Blimey Remus, that was a long trip!" He said eagerly. Behind him, a man whom even his parents would probably call elderly climbed down the steps. Remus looked at him. James had once mentioned that his parents were a bit older than most, but the man that introduced himself as, "Charlus Potter, but just Charlie will do fine," looked to be nearly sixty.

His father shook the man's hand first, and his mother finally released her grip on Remus' shoulder to greet him, her smile strained. Remus received a slap on the shoulder from James, who was smirking. James reached into his box of jelly beans without being offered, but Remus didn't mind. The darker haired boy plucked out a green one and took a rather large bite of it. He spit it on the ground, and Remus felt his mother wrinkling her nose in annoyance behind him, but thankfully she said nothing, as Mr. Potter distracted her with idle chatter.

"Brussel sprouts." James explained, tossing the rest of the jelly bean over his shoulder and plucking out a pleasantly colored pink one. He nibbled this one with less enthusiasm, but ate the whole thing a moment later.

"Thank you so much for coming for Remus. I'm unable to take such a long ride, and Maggie is feeling a bit unwell."

James' dad waved his arm. "It's nothing. I've been retired for a few years now, so taking a trip out of the house like this was quite pleasant in fact. I'm sure Dorea has been wanting me to go away for the last six months."

The two grown men shared one of those chuckles that grown men often did when talking about their wives. Remus' mother looked strained as she smiled indulgently. Remus was sucking on a pink watermelon jelly bean, looking at her. Surely now that James and his dad were here she couldn't change her mind? Unfortunately, that was not the way her brain worked.

"Well, James, our train will be leaving in thirty minutes for the trip home. Why don't you and Remus go play around on the platform while we chat a little?" Remus knew his mother did not like this idea, however she had no choice but to pat him awkwardly on the head and allow him to leave. His dad gave him a dorky thumbs up, and Remus followed after James, who walked a ways down and stretched.

"I'm surprised your dad was wearing Muggle clothes. I thought you lot were Purebloods like Sirius' family?" Remus questioned. Now that they were away from the trash can, he tucked the gross jelly beans into his pocket, still unable to toss them on the ground. He could feel his mother's eyes burning into the back of his head if he even contemplated it.

"I had to help him. I've helped him before, when we go into the Muggle part of town for whatever reason. He still thinks it's stupid we didn't just use a Portkey, or broomsticks, or a Floo."

Remus flinched, remembering _that_ conversation with his mother. "She's terrified of all that magical transportation. She's a Muggle, remember? My dad told her before they got married at least, but she's still paranoid that I'm going to end up in a thousand little pieces, whether from getting Splinched or falling off a broom – yes I _know_ Portkeys are safe, and I've taken basic Flying and passed with 'flying' colors so to speak. And by the way, we've only got an electric fireplace, it messes up the Floo powder..."

James' eyebrows perked up. "Eclectricissy?" He mispronounced, Remus opened his mouth to correct him, but James was ignoring him. "Doesn't matter in the end, though the train is just so loooooong and frightfully boring." He placed a hand on his forehead, rolling his eyes up as though he were a gentile woman about to faint from the heat.

It actually was quite hot. Thankfully his mother hadn't forced him into wearing that horrible green jumper his father had told her to leave off. It was the end of July after all.

Remus nibbled on a celery flavored bean, trying to decide if he should give in and eat it or not, his mother's voice scolding him about eating his vegetables. But surely this didn't count? He shrugged and gave in to her imaginary demands. "It's not that long of a train ride you know. Probably no more than an hour at most. You're just whining cause it's unmagical and boring."

James snickered. "That's exactly what I just said, isn't it? Oh look, Dad's calling us back."

Indeed the two fathers were waving over at Remus and James. Remus carefully closed the top of his box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, and held it tightly. His mother accosted him when he showed up, inspecting him.

"Now, you will be _very_ well behaved with Mr. Potter, won't you?" She said sternly. He nodded, and she kissed him on the forehead. Unlike James who usually wriggled in protest when plastered in goodbye kisses by his mum, Remus stood still and let her.

"Yes, mum." He said kindly, and she kissed his forehead a second time. James giggled behind him. He ignored it loftily.

After about ten more minutes of telling Remus what he should and shouldn't do while in the Potters' care (eat all your vegetables, don't stay out in the sun too long, don't wander off without someone with you, and please brush your teeth every night), and fiddling with the collar on his shirt, the announcement finally came on for the westbound train, and Remus left her to follow Mr. Potter and then James onto the train. Not content to let him go without anymore embarrassment, his mother handed his ticket directly to the conductor to assure that Remus wouldn't lose it in the five minutes it would take them to be collected. She hadn't even let him take the ticket to come back, saying that she would be mailing it directly to Mrs. Potter via owl in a week.

Finally, he and James were sitting together and Mr. Potter was sitting a few seats down. Remus cracked open his box of candy again as the train rattled out of the Ottery St. Mary station and headed west towards Godric's Hollow, where James and his parents lived. "So how is Sirius getting there?" He asked, handing James what appeared to be an orange bean, hoping it was something safe.

James chewed it willingly, so it must have been fine, and shrugged. "Floo I think. Or Side-along Apparition, but then his parents would have to come along, and they don't like my parents much. Even if Mum was born a Black, they consider my dad practically a 'Blood-Traitor' because of his political views and don't really approve of the marriage, even if we're still Pureblood. Probably Floo. He said he was going to already be there when we got back, so something quick."

After about a half-hour on the train, Mr. Potter got up and walked back to where the two boys were sitting. Remus was shocked he hadn't come to check on them earlier. His mother wouldn't have even let him out of her sight, but James' dad just casually offered them both little brown bags. "Dory packed us all lunches, even you Remus. She seems to think you'd die of starvation in the ninety minutes it takes to get to our stop."

Remus took the bag with a grateful yet awkward smile, and opened it up. There was a small bottle of what smelled like lemonade, a box of pretzels, and a ham and cheese sandwich wrapped in silver foil. The bottle had been charmed so that it was quite cold even after being in Mr. Potter's little shoulder bag for several hours in the July heat.

[][][][][][]

He barely finished eating his pretzels when the announcement came from the train's speakers for Godric's Hollow. He licked the last of the salt from his fingers and shoved everything – including his empty box of jelly beans – into the brown lunch bag, intending to throw it all away when they got off the train. James had simply shoved it all in the pocket of the chair in front of him. As they disembarked Remus snatched James' trash too, to appease his mother, and threw it all out as Mr. Potter led the way from the train station.

Remus knew, from James' stories, that wizards saw a very different view of the city than the Muggles did. James had probably never even considered it before, but Remus liked to imagine quaint Muggle shops and the people walking to and fro. After about ten minutes of walking, the people around them changed from ordinary Muggles to obviously wizards, wearing long robes and pointed hats, their hair in much different styles. Remus felt a bit out of place, dragging his trunk along behind him. James and his father sauntered around, saying hello when they were greeted, but not stopping.

They passed a war memorial, that changed when Remus looked at it more closely to a towering statue of Godric Gryffindor, the founder of Hogwarts that Remus' house was named after. He was standing triumphantly, his hand on a great sword, which was speared into the ground in front of him. Before him, sprawled out like a dozing housecat, was a great lion with a jewel-encrusted collar. If it weren't for the fact that he was made of grey marble, Remus would have been able to see the gold and burgundy clothing he wore, the crest hanging in the Gryffindor common room emblazoned on his chest. Remus felt a bit small as he stared at it, seeing the great man who was so well-known for his blind loyalty, courage, and chivalry. Remus considered himself blindly loyal to the point of stupidity for his friends, but not courageous nor chivalrous. He considered himself a coward really.

He barely noticed that by pausing in front of the statue, the two Potters whom he had been trying to follow were now far ahead of him. He made a soft noise of protest and jogged after them, panting a bit as he dragged his trunk. His mother had packed it, and for a moment as he pulled it down the cobblestone road towards James he had a sudden sense of horror, contemplating whether or not she had packed it full of sweaters and long trousers and collared shirts rather than summer wear.

He caught up with them just as Mr. Potter stopped in front of a gate and swung it open. Remus took a moment to examine the little cottage, a smile passing over his face. It was far bigger than his own house, but had an air of country charm, like all the houses around it. He walked through the front yard which was lined with summer roses, and the door swung open to reveal an older woman. Younger than Mr. Potter by at least ten years, but still far older than Remus' own parents, only a few streaks of brown remaining in the massive silver bun piled atop her head. She had a regal beauty to her even though she was a bit older. Remus would have known instantly that she was a Black even if James hadn't mentioned it on the train. They all had that haughty sort of beauty to them.

But unlike Walburga Black, James' mother was far kinder, and she welcomed back James with a tight, warm hug, and even surprised Remus by embracing him as well. "Welcome to the family, Remus." She said happily, which made the tips of Remus' ears turn scarlet. "Come on in, let me take care of your trunk." She waved her wand at it and it zoomed up the stairs.

Sirius popped out of the kitchen, and Remus and James greeted him with their usual thumps. Dorea and Charlus embraced and had a quick chat about the train. Remus looked around. It all looked very warm and inviting. The sitting room just off the entrance was comfortable. The sofa was dumpy and much used, the bookshelf on the wall actually made Remus' heart flutter, full of leather bound volumes that were probably both educational and entertaining. Maybe he would get a chance to read before...

"Remus, get out of your head." James said, pushing him lightly. Remus jerked into reality and followed James and Sirius doggedly up the stairs.

James' bedroom was bright blue with dark brown wood furnishings. On his walls he had stuck Quidditch posters and a great big Gryffindor banner above his bed. All the furniture matched, and Remus felt a pang of jealousy. He recalled his own room, with the same bed he'd had since he was a toddler, now growing alarmingly smaller by the year, a dresser with two drawers that didn't open properly, and a bookshelf that leaned dangerously to one side, overflowing with books that were too powerful for it.

Sirius flopped down on James' bed as though it were his own. He had been there for a month the previous summer, and Remus felt another surge of envy as he saw James collapse into a desk chair – he had a _desk_, and Remus had been begging for one for months to no avail, and it was full of books and parchment and a Quaffle and broom cleaning equipment and was probably never used for its actual purpose. He looked around nervously, and saw a small squat stool in the corner and sat down on that, but he felt awkward and out of place. He didn't belong. Not in this room, with its matching décor, and not in this house, with a family that was too cheerful and Sirius who fit in as though he had been born there.

A few minutes later, Mrs. Potter came up the stairs with a tray. A _tray_. Of food. And lemonade as well. Remus nearly jumped up to help her with the tray, but she was levitating it in front of her, not carrying it. He fidgeted instead as she motioned with her wand and cleared off a section of the desk, placing the tray down. She smiled brightly at them all. "I brought up a little snack before supper, which should be in a couple hours. Jamie, don't stay up here too long, you should take Remus around the Hollow or maybe out in the garden to play a little while. Remus, you are quite pale, you look like you could use some proper summer sun, not like they get in Ottery St. Catchpole."

"Actually I live in Ottery St. Mary..." Remus mumbled, but it didn't come out quite right, and he fell silent. Mrs. Potter was a woman he didn't entirely understand.

She looked around at the room. "There just won't be space for all four of you boys in here for a week, but I suppose you'll all want to be in the same room." She whipped her wand over at the far wall. James' wardrobe slid to the side, and immediately to Remus' left a wide archway appeared in the wall between James' bedroom and the one next to it. It widened and widened until with a "pop!", the wall disappeared altogether. With another flick of her wand, the bedroom was rearranged so that four beds were along one wall, and just like at school two of the beds had a trunk in front of them. Remus recognized his own, and Sirius'. The furniture moved around so that James' wardrobe and desk were on the same wall, and all in all the room looked pretty similar to their dormitory at Hogwarts except for the blue and brown colors and the lack of posts or curtains around each bed.

"There we are. Then when little Peter arrives he can have the bed on the end. His mother informed me they would be coming tomorrow around lunchtime. You three have your snack and then go on outside, I'll call you back at dinner. Oh, and before I forget, _Silencio Cella_! There, now you boys can talk half the night and not disturb Charlie and I."

Remus marveled at her as she left the now much widened room and headed down the stairs. "She's gonna let us talk? All night?"

Sirius grabbed a glass of lemonade and shrugged. "Why not? We're on holiday."

Remus thought of a million reasons why not, things his mother would say, things she would do if she knew he had been staying up until the wee hours of the morning joking with his friends. He shuddered a bit, and stood up to get one of the small sandwiches – this time a very tasty chicken salad – and nibbled around the edges noncommittally while he sat down on the bed with his trunk in front of it. Now the room felt more familiar, if only because he could imagine they were back at Hogwarts. Only without classes, or books, or anything else to keep them from enjoying themselves.

[][][][][][]

The next day, when Peter had joined them, the four boys considered summer officially begun. They spent the next fourteen days falling between a state of constant motion and lazy, unmovable lumps. Peter's pale skin burned cherry red by the end of the second day, but James' mother had a gel which enabled the sunburn to vanish overnight, and so they set out again every morning, fresh as daisies. Remus was the only one that didn't get a sunburn, his skin merely sprouting freckles, which caused Sirius and James to giggle.

Uncle Charlie and Auntie – Sirius' affectionate names for them – had rounded up four brooms, and James had taken them out to an area by a stream which was enchanted to repel the Muggles. They had even convinced Remus to mount a Cleansweep, and though he refused to get more than ten feet off the ground they still had fun racing in circles and trying to knock each other off.

Peter went home after seven days, even after asking his mom if he could stay longer. She sent back a letter stained with teardrops, demanding to know why Peter wanted to be away from his Mummy for so long and why didn't he love her? They had all agreed it would be best if he went home when she wanted him to.

At the end of the thirteenth day, the three of them were collapsed into heaps in the sitting room. They'd all stripped down to shorts. Sirius had a cool towel wrapped around his neck, and he was laying on the floor in front of the fireplace. Instead of being filled with red and orange lights, the flames that huddled in the center of the brick were white and icy cold, exuding a wave of cool air like a winter breeze.

"Come on Sirius, you're hogging!" James prodded him in the back with one toe, sprawled over the ottoman and trying to get some of the air.

Sirius snorted and rolled on his back so that more of the air could get to the other three boys. It was pretty late in the evening, but still blisteringly hot, and the frigid fire was a welcome thing after a day of riding bicycles. Those Muggle contraptions were actually quite fun, as Sirius discovered. Of course their bicycles had a Cushioning Charm given by Auntie so that if they crashed they would only bump into the ground and remain quite unharmed.

Remus sighed as a breeze from the fireplace reached him. He hadn't been willing to wrestle with Sirius to get the coveted spot right in front of the fire, nor had he wanted to fight James over the ottoman that was the second best seat. So he had collapsed bonelessly into an armchair and folded up a bit of parchment so that it made a Chinese style fan, waving it in front of his face like a lady at court. Sirius had snickered, but Remus had shot him a look that said he was not amused.

Nothing had changed. Sirius stretched out and sighed, brushing his thick dark hair off the back of his neck. Remus was the same as ever. At the end of this school year, Sirius was almost sure that the sandy-haired boy would vanish and never speak to them again. He'd sent an owl straight away though, and surprisingly enough, Remus had answered the very next day, saying that yes, he would love to come and visit James, so long as he could convince his parents.

He was glad. He had become used to having Remus around. It's not like they were all girls, giggling and spending time braiding each other's hair, but Remus was comfortable. It was like an old pair of shoes that you knew you had to throw away, but you kept them around because they fit just right and you knew they would carry you where ever you needed to go. Except, Remus wasn't shoes. He smelled a lot better than shoes. Especially James' shoes.

"Supper's ready, boys, go wash up!" Auntie's voice piped up from the kitchen. Wonderful smells had been filtering into the sitting room since they'd come back in an hour ago, and Sirius jerked upright.

The three of them tumbled up the stairs, each trying to bowl the others over on his way up. Remus even managed to body check Sirius into the hallway to get in second in line for the bathroom after James. Remus was quite a bit stronger than a normal thirteen year old, which of course was now easily explained by his lycanthropy. But it made Sirius jealous, imagining Remus in five years being able to tackle Sirius full out if he was annoyed with him, or for whatever other reason.

Remus appeared a few seconds later, his hair dripping around his ears from where he had splashed water on his face. He ran into the bedroom to grab a shirt, tugging it over his head as he went downstairs. Sirius followed after a moment, tugging on a tank top as he sat at the dining room table.

As they ate, Auntie asked them about their day. Remus told her how they'd ridden all the way out past the moors, nearly seven miles, and then come back after taking a swim in some farmer's pond. She tittered. Remus had been very shy at first, calling her Mrs. Potter, but finally after nearly ten days of being there – and being reminded ten times a day – he had started calling her Dory.

Sirius shoveled food into his mouth as though it were going to Disapparate from his plate at any moment. Remus glanced his way, but thankfully said nothing. The werewolf had already tried to tidy up Sirius' table manners more than once, to no avail.

"So, Remus dear, tomorrow you're heading back on the train. You said your father was coming to fetch you so that you wouldn't be riding alone?" Auntie said, smiling at him.

Remus reluctantly nodded. "My mum actually. She said she'd be arriving on the ten o'clock."

"Well in that case I won't need to pack you a lunch, but I'll make you a nice breakfast." She smiled brightly, and Sirius watched the tips of Remus' ears turn red in embarrassment.

They'd never met Remus' parents – James had said that they looked like a couple of stuffed robes – but Sirius could make some conclusions. His mother didn't give him nearly as much freedom as James received. She viewed Remus as being frail because of his "condition". Sirius figured it actually made Remus far more hardy than other boys. In fact, during one of their broom rides Remus had broken his forearm pretty severely, in an injury that Sirius was sure even he would have been whining and complaining about (he _might_ have even shed a tear or two over it). However, Remus had calmly gone to James' parents and hadn't said a word, even when the Skele-grow made his bones shift disgustingly in his arm, making Sirius wince as they'd tried to sleep that night. Frankly, Remus' stoicism was pretty impressive, and Sirius marveled that his family hadn't noticed it.

That night, they all lay around on their beds. The room had been made smaller again, the three beds crowded far more closely together. Remus kind of liked it, it gave them more of a feeling of camping. He would miss this. The rest of his summer was going to be staying at home and trying not to make his parents angry, and maybe they would be going on a daytrip to the coast if his father got some time off work.

"...so then, the witch says, 'That was a Slurring Solution!'" Sirius finished. Remus blinked, he had missed the beginning of the joke, but he laughed along with James anyway.

"Remus, I have the feeling you are going moony again." Sirius said earnestly, looking at his friend.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "It's well over nine days until the next cycle..."

"No no. I mean _moony_. Like when your eyes get all crossed and you stare off into space and you do not appreciate my amazing sense of humor or James' stunning good looks." Sirius cut him off, waving a hand dismissively.

"Sirius! That's _brilliant_. He is all ga-ga all the time, plus with the wolf thing... we should call you Moony from now on, Remus." James said, still snickering.

Remus blinked. "But none of us have nicknames, unless you count Pete, or _Jamie_." He said pointedly, making James stop laughing abruptly.

"My mum calls me that, you do not share the privilege." James said firmly, an air of annoyance in his voice. Sirius laughed. "Oh shut up, _Siri-kins_."

Remus ducked his head under the covers as Sirius launched himself over the bed, making Remus laugh. He had never laughed so much as in the last two weeks. He actually felt like a boy. Not that he wasn't a boy, being only thirteen and having all the appropriate bits, but he actually felt like a kid. Someone who could just run around all day and then come back to a house with a happy family and a filling meal where people actually talked and didn't just look at each other coldly.

He would miss it. But since this time went so well, he could probably look forward to spending a couple weeks every summer with the Potters, so long as they would have him. Maybe next year he could get his mum to agree to use a Portkey...

"Moooooony!" Sirius had been trying to get his attention, and the use of his new, bizarre nickname jarred him back to the other two.

He glared. "What?"

"Stop thinking. You're thinking."

"Stop... thinking...?" Remus repeated slowly, looking at Sirius as though he had just suggested that Remus tear out all his own hair and knit it into a sweater.

"Animagi." Sirius said, as though this word would make perfect sense to Remus.

"Ani... what about Animagi?" He demanded, sitting up in confusion.

Sirius' grin widened. "_We're_ going to become Animagi."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Yes, I know, a cliffhanger. I didn't want to take too long with summer vacation, as I've got some very important things lined up for the boys' third year. I thought a bit of foreshadowing as to the next couple years would suffice. Please review, or favorite, or send me an email even!

I did want to mention James' parents, as they are the cause of a lot of speculation among the Potter community. On the Black family tree there is a Dorea Black (aunt to Walburga, Sirius' mother), and she is apparently married to a Charlus Potter. There was a lot of talk on the interwubs about Charlus and Dorea being either James' parents or close relatives. The two did have only one son, and did die before 1981 (as James' parents did). James' parents also had a son much later in life, which would follow this line of thinking as well. Because of timeline and math discrepancies, it doesn't translate into real life very well, but if you take into account the fact that Rowling herself has said on several occasions that she doesn't do math in the story well, and therefore take the timeline with a grain of salt, it isn't unreasonable to make these two James' parents. Please feel free to argue with me about this fact, but I have thought it through quite thoroughly, and like the idea of using Dorea and Charlus instead of the faceless "Mr. and Mrs. Potter."

And, in case you were wondering, this makes James and Sirius second-cousins, as Sirius is Dorea's great-nephew, hence "Auntie".

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_TragedyCatalyst, Cere-Sempai, pshhh yeahh, PharaohDeli, and WitchOfDarkness13: _More reviewers! You have no idea how happy it makes me to see that I'm not just writing this story for myself. Thank you for reading!_  
_


	8. Chapter 8: I await a Protector

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: The beginning of third year, both September and a bit of October.

[][][][][][]

"Moony, you look rough." Sirius sat down next to him at the Gryffindor table at breakfast, piling bacon on his plate. "Isn't it still four days?"

Remus blinked, and then smirked. "Actually, this isn't from the moon at all. I stayed up all night to study for Astronomy."

Sirius shrugged. "Ah, well it could be worse I suppose. It could be Care of Magical Creatures. Kettleburn is way harder than I thought he would be."

"What about Kettleburn?" James said as he joined them, dropping his bookbag with a thump.

"He's brutal." Sirius commented mildly, folding the slices of bacon around a sausage and eating it. Remus felt a little queasy watching him.

"I rather like Care of Magical Creatures." He commented idly.

Sirius shrugged. "Yeah, but he wants us to write basically an essay a week on the animals we study. It's bloody hard."

"What's hard?" Peter finished off their quartet, and Remus rolled his eyes.

"I don't know why you guys are even complaining. You took the easiest classes that you could. I mean, Divination, Muggle Studies? I spend an hour in Arithmancy while you babble at Leavenwood about things in teacups!" Remus complained. He rather wished he had taken Divination in point of fact, but he wouldn't tell them that.

"Oh boo hoo. Moony's bitten off more than he can chew then? I don't know why you are in Muggle Studies anyway, you were practically raised one." James jabbed him in the ribs. Remus stuck his tongue out at James in an unusually juvenile motion for the werewolf.

"I'm doing just fine, and Muggles from the point of view of wizards is interesting." Remus said while buttering one last slice of toast.

Sirius had finished all the sausage and bacon on his plate, and was smirking. Remus didn't like how Sirius had gotten all cocky now that they were back at school. For some reason being a third year was some great triumph to him, as though all doors were now open. It probably also had to do with the fact that he and James now had some great huge secret between them, even bigger than knowing Remus was a werewolf. After their argument the day before he'd gone home that summer Sirius hadn't brought it up again.

_ "Are you crazy? It's super dangerous and super illegal!"_

_ "That's what makes it super exciting. Come on Remus, think about it!"_

_ "Yeah, what are the only creatures that werewolves are a danger to?" James cut in with an explanation._

_ "Well... humans, of course."_

_ "Exactly!" Sirius said in triumph. "You can't pass lycanthropy on to other animals. And I've heard McGonagall talking about it a little bit, she says that she can talk to other cats sometimes when in her Animagus form, so we'd all be able to communicate with you..."_

_ "But it's dangerous! Wizards have died, or they've gotten trapped between two different forms, or even worse than that, they get stuck with the mind of the animal! Treymore Trekleton said in _Unlocking the Beast Within_ that a friend of his thought he was a squirrel until the day he died, climbing trees and eating nuts and the whole lot!"_

_ "Well we won't be squirrels. We'll be something way more awesome." James said with a scoff._

_ "You can't choose what animal you become, don't you know? You just... become whatever animal relates to you the most." Remus felt a sense of helplessness pass over him as his friends plowed on without really listening to his words of warning._

_ "So what you're saying is that Sirius will become a great fat pig, while I become a dragon or some such." James said lightly._

_ "Shut up, _Jamie_. How do you find out what animal you'll be?" Sirius said curiously._

_ Remus didn't want to tell them, but the urge to show off the fact that he had read books overwhelmed him, and the words slipped out. "Trekleton said that the Animagus form takes on the form of the person's innermost soul. I... I think I read somewhere else though, that it takes on the form of a person's Patronus, which is a projection of the happiness and purity of one's soul if you think about it..."_

_ "Patronus?" James asked. Remus rolled his eyes._

_ "It's a really advanced spell. The Patronus is sort of... a being of positive energy, almost like a ghost, but really powerful. Wizards use it defensively. Like... I read that they can ward off Dementors if you have a strong enough one. Really strong Patronus... Patroni? I'm not sure, but anyway, the really strong ones, they can even touch stuff and move really far away from the caster."_

_ Sirius grinned. "We'll just figure out our Patronuses."_

_ "I really don't think that's the plural form, Sirius."_

_ "Whatever, you'll be doing all the reading anyway."_

"I'm not helping you, I already told you that." Remus said angrily, gathering up his Arithmancy book and shoving it back in his book bag. He knew that they hadn't even brought up the subject that he was refusing to talk about, but thought a preemptive strike was best. He ate his last bite of toast, and sighed. "I'll see you three in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Sirius waved at him, but he was already in conversation with James in a very quiet voice, and Remus frowned, ignoring them as he headed out of the Great Hall and to the only class he had without his three friends.

[][][][][][]

"_Expecto Patronum_!" James bellowed for what felt like the tenth time that hour. A few spurts of silvery mist sprouted from the end of his wand. He groaned. "This is hard!"

"You're not doing it right. It's ExPECTo PatroNUM." Sirius said.

"No it isn't. It's EXpectO PatROnum." James said, pronouncing the word slightly differently. "I'm getting the silvery stuff right."

"Yeah, but it's not an animal, that's for sure."

"Maybe my memory isn't happy enough." James wondered, slumping back down into the grass.

Remus was sitting off a ways under a tree, deliberately ignoring James, Sirius, and Peter, who were trying to figure out this spell. The moment that Sirius and James had begun practicing, Remus had pulled _Numerology and Grammatica_ out from his book bag and gone over out of the way. He wasn't even glancing their way as he filled out a number chart, hand propping up his chin.

Sirius summoned his memory. The Sorting Hat. First year.

_"A Black, eh? Well into Slytherin I suppose."_

_ "No, no, not Slytherin..." Sirius had thought hard._

_ "_Not_ Slytherin? You've got the perfectly good makings of a Pureblood Slytherin in you you know."_

_ "No... I'm _not_ like my parents, I'm not..."_

_ "No, perhaps not. _GRYFFINDOR!_"_

_ A swell of triumph over took him as the hat rose from his head. The Gryffindor table was clapping hard, the Slytherins were absolutely bewildered, and he had run to his housemates of red and gold as though he belonged._

"_Expecto Patronum_!" Sirius said loudly. Silver mist swirled from his wand, only slightly bigger than James' mist, and quickly dissipated into the afternoon air. "Merlin's farts, what a waste of a free period!"

James had sprawled out on the grass, his hands folded behind his head. "We've just got to keep practicing. We've got one free period a day. Eventually we'll have to get it right. I just know we'll get it before Halloween..."

"I want to try!" Peter jumped up from where he was sitting. He, however, had even less luck, not even a hint of silver coming from his wand. They all gave up rather quickly, and once they were all laying in the grass of the grounds normally, Remus finally got up and came over, putting his book away.

"If you three are done being idiots..."

"You try it Moony. Please?" Sirius said pleadingly.

"I'm not any better at Charms than you two are." Remus said with a roll of his eyes.

"Just _try_ it, that's all I ask."

Remus scrunched up his face like he always did when they were asking him to do something he had already rejected. Sirius was sure he was thinking again. After a moment's silence, Remus dropped his book bag and closed his eyes.

Sirius wondered what his memory was. With his history, Sirius didn't think that Remus had that many good memories to draw upon. He cringed and watched as Remus' eyes flew open again, and he pointed his wand at the air. "_Expecto Patronum_!"

A ghostly white shape exploded from Remus' wand, but it vanished quickly as a stiff breeze whipped passed them. Sirius and James jerked upright from their laying positions in the grass, and stared at the spot where the shape had been. Sirius hadn't expected anything like that, and so he hadn't watched to see what the shape was.

Remus had sat back down calmly and was now rifling through _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_. He seemed nonplussed. Sirius stared and finally spoke. "Well?"

"Well what." Remus said flatly.

"_Well,_ what was that?" Sirius demanded.

"I didn't get it right." Remus shrugged. "I told you, it's a hard spell."

"You got something right! There was something there, in the air!" James said excitedly. "What shape was it? What animal?"

Remus shrugged for what seemed like the hundredth time. Sirius felt annoyed. "You didn't see your own Patronus?"

"No, I _didn't_, Sirius, it was just a great big silver thing. Now don't you have homework to do? I know that Kettleburn didn't assign the essay on Nifflers to me alone." He snapped, that little bit of anger finally showing through his stony exterior.

Sirius noticed that he only ever got annoyed when it referred to either his status as werewolf, or schoolwork, or Sirius planning a prank. The Patronus was not schoolwork, nor a prank, therefore it must have had something to do with his lycanthropy. Sirius frowned.

"Was it a... you know... was it furry?" He asked, using the adjective they had put in place to refer to werewolves in general.

Remus stiffened. "I don't know! I didn't see it! You three are insufferable. You're going to get sent to Azkaban for this, you know, it's a capital offense!" He scowled, clutching his textbook to his chest and standing, striding off towards the castle.

James gave him a look. "It's only been two days since he was furry, mate. Best leave him alone about that."

Sirius sighed. "But we're doing this for exactly that reason!"

Peter squeaked and then coughed. "Well... well it would also be fun to run around as animals, isn't that also why we're doing it? Being able to do something that hardly anyone can do? We'll be able to explore bits of the school that no one else can."

James blinked. "You have a way of hitting the gnome right on the head, Pete."

[][][][][][]

A couple weeks later, they had celebrated Peter's birthday up in the Astronomy Tower, and now they were drawing close to Halloween. Despite the fact that Sirius and James routinely used the secret passages to go to Hogsmeade, they were still excited for the prospect of the first official Hogsmeade weekend coming up for them. Even Remus had gotten his signature – mostly because his dad had signed it in secret and informed Remus that he would deal with Maggie later.

"We've never been inside Zonko's. I bet it's absolutely wonderful in there you know." Sirius said dreamily as they sprawled at a corner table, doing their homework. Actually, Remus and Peter and James were doing their homework, Sirius was merely fantasizing about wall after wall of trickery to indulge himself in. "They've got things that the Diagon Alley store doesn't even come _close_ to carrying. Exploding Ink Quills, Indelible Parchment, Trickantulas!"

Peter shuddered a bit at the Trickantulas. Both he and Remus knew that if Sirius got anything from Zonko's, he'd be testing it on them first. Remus scribbled down another note about Mooncalves for Care of Magical Creatures and sighed. "How many points were we supposed to have?" He said tiredly. He was going to be changing in only a few days, so he was already feeling the sluggish effects of a waxing moon. At least with the change he would be recovered enough in time for Hogsmeade. James looked at his palm, where he had written down all the homework for the day during classes.

"Five talking points, four lines each." He said, decoding the slurred ink on his hand. Sirius sighed dramatically and straightened up in his chair.

"I can't believe you aren't as excited about Zonko's as I am, James! This is one of those things that only happens once in a lifetime."

"Actually, third years go to Hogsmeade about five times in a year..."

"_Moooooony_, you are entirely missing the point!" Sirius was whining now, and Remus glared at him.

"Would you just work on your homework." Remus said with a flourish, finishing off his mooncalf essay and pulling out a number chart for Arithmancy, sighing in exasperation as he began filling it out, adding yet another textbook to the pile.

James raised an eyebrow. "Just how many classes are you taking anyway?"

"Same amount as you. Core classes, plus Care of Magical Creatures, Muggle Studies, and Arithmancy instead of Divination, which you three are taking." Remus said without looking up as he flipped through _Numerology and Grammatica_.

"Then why do you have three ancient rune books?" James asked, pointing at his open book bag which revealed _Spellman's Syllabary, Ancient Runes Made Easy, and Magical Hieroglyphs and Logograms_.

"Just doing a bit of ancient runes study on my own time." Remus said casually, closing the top of his bag. They wouldn't let him have a Time Turner in order to take all the classes he had wanted even with McGonagall's approval, so he had dropped Divination and Study of Ancient Runes. "They're really very interesting." He added weakly as Sirius and James stared at him. "Professor Eckzahn is letting me read the books, and once a week he'll give me the homework from the class for me to try on my own. I'm not studying it religiously or anything, just as a sort of... a hobby..." He trailed off, realizing that he was only digging himself deeper into the hole.

"Hobby? _Ancient Runes_ as a hobby?" Sirius repeated with a great amount of fear in his voice. Remus thought – with some amusement – that there was more terror in his gaze now than when Remus had talked to them about his painful monthly transformations.

"I don't care if he studies Eclectricissy as a hobby so long as he helps us with Care of Magical Creatures. Where are mooncalves located?"

"It's _electricity_, James."

"That's what I said! Now where?"

Remus shifted all his books around to find his essay. "Northern Europe it says, with special emphasis on wet climates."

"How do I draw that out to four lines?" James asked incredulously. Remus gave up, and handed over his essay. James grinned. "You're a saint, Moony, a real saint."

Remus grumbled something and continued filling in his number charts. Sirius slapped his hands on the table. "All right you three, I demand that you stop all this thinking and work and nonsense and talk to me at once!"

The three boys looked up at him. James looked bored, Remus looked annoyed, but Peter actually looked like he was about to hang onto every word that Sirius said. The dark-haired boy cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Do you _realize_ that it's been three weeks since we blew up the toilets in the 3rd floor boy's bathroom? I demand to know what we are going to do about this grievous problem."

Remus went back to work, but James set down his quill and pursed his lips in thought. Sirius grinned, knowing he had touched upon a subject that would get at least James and Peter to go away from their homework and talk to him. Remus knew that Sirius needed the attention, or he would get all mopey.

"What have we done to Snivellus lately?" James asked in a bored tone, but his brown eyes were glittering slightly, and Sirius grinned.

"Absolutely _nothing_."

James' eyes widened a hint behind his glasses, and Remus looked up, concern flashing across his face. It never boded well when the name Snivellus came up in the same conversation as that evil smile that Sirius wore sometimes. Peter was practically bouncing in his seat, all thought of essays or Kettleburn, or even any sense of dignity apparently gone.

"What are we going to do, huh?" The blond asked excitedly, and Sirius's eyes sparkled with fresh and fantastic ideas. Remus felt himself cringing.

"I have two words for you. 'Blast Charm'." Sirius said happily, as though he already had the plan.

James raised an eyebrow. "A Blast Charm, how is that going to do us any good?" He asked, looking confused.  
"I don't know, James. That's your department. But I've been dying to try that Blast Charm Flitwick taught us last week for ages, and I think Snivellus is the perfect target."

Sirius said the word target as though he were a military commander talking about what enemy base they were going to take down. Remus was no longer able to concentrate on his Arithmancy homework. "Don't you think that maybe you should try and make it to Christmas without a detention?" He questioned. "I mean, McGonagall could ban you from Hogsmeade and then you wouldn't get to go to Zonko's."

"Oh, I'll go." Sirius said dismissively. "Trust me, this is a brilliant idea. Now James, come up with a plan."

James' brain was working clearly, based on the way he chewed on the top of his quill and tapped his fingertips against the table. Something inside Remus was screaming in protest, but that voice had long ago learned that it was ignored by the other three boys, and when James perked up, it fell silent again. "I have a plan!"

[][][][][][]

"Ow, damn it, ow! Moony, did you grow five feet this summer?" Sirius hissed as they all tried to stumble down the hall under the Invisibility Cloak. It was even more ridiculous than it had been last year, because Remus was two inches taller, and Peter was four inches wider. Their feet clearly showed when they walked, and they kept bumping into each other.

Finally, James yanked the Cloak off. "We'll just use it if Remus hears someone coming." He hissed, rolling it into a ball and prodding Sirius forward. "There, Slughorn's classroom."

"This is really a bad idea, guys." Remus muttered, knowing that his warnings were falling on deaf ears.

"There is absolutely no way we can get caught doing this. That's the beauty!" Sirius said, unlocking the Potions room and slipping inside.

Remus was not so sure about this, but he diligently stood in the partly-opened doorway, listening for Slughorn or Filch or whomever was lurking around the dungeons at one am. He glanced over at his friends – a title that was currently on the line – while they rummaged around in the cabinets.

"Here, here it is. I told you, he always uses the exact same one. His family was too poor to buy him one of his own, so he always uses the black cauldron with copper handles and the three club feet. No Peter, not the one with dragon feet, the club feet!" There was a clang, and all four boys froze as Peter dropped the cauldron on the ground. The clatter echoed through the dungeons.

"_Silencio Cella_!" Remus whispered quickly as he pointed the wand at the ceiling. Mrs. Potter had provided him with that Silencing Charm, one that covered the entire room in soundproofing and made it impossible for anyone outside the space to hear what was going on within.

"Bloody... thanks Moony." Sirius said, gathering up the cauldron and setting it on a table. Remus pressed his ear to the door and performed a Supersensory Charm so that he could hear what was happening in the hallway.

"Okay, now just perform the spell... no Peter, let James do it." Sirius was saying, speaking even more quickly now that they had made a racket.

James muttered something while tapping the cauldron, and a glowing gold coating seemed to pass over the cauldron before sinking into the cast iron. "There."

"And you're sure that it won't go off before Potions tomorrow?"

"No, and it won't go off until Snivellus adds the third ingredient. And it will _only_ go off for him, no one else." James said firmly.

"And it won't like... stab him or anything?" Remus added quickly.

"No no. The cauldron will turn to rubber and _then_ explode. He might end up with a broken nose – what a tragedy – but that's the worse it will be." James said. Sirius looked disappointed that they wouldn't be getting rid of Snape for good, but he was resigned to the fact that killing someone their third year at school probably wouldn't get them any special treatment from McGonagall or Dumbledore. "It'll look like an accident with the potion or something, I'm positive. They won't be able to find out who did it unless they take my wand, and they won't unless they've got good reason to."

"Alright, good. Let's get the hell out of here." Remus said, the hairs on the back of his neck prickling. It wasn't a severe warning, but something was going to happen soon unless they made a run for it. He removed the Silencing Charm and his own Supersensory Charm, and made sure when they were all gone to close and lock the door behind them.

They hurried down the hall, and when they were finally on the first floor again Remus grabbed James and Sirius and yanked them back. James in turn grabbed Peter, until they were all flat against a wall. Without even speaking James threw the Cloak over them and they all crouched down, and Remus heard Peter inhaling tightly to make himself a bit skinnier. Remus was crushed against the wall behind Sirius, with James slightly to his left, and Peter in the front, squishing them all back.

All four of them held their breath as a dark shape crossed in front of them. Filch's cat, Miss Penny, was prowling up and down the hall. Peter covered his mouth as though that would muffle any noise they made, and Remus shrank down a bit more. She was staring right at them, cold green eyes slightly tilted to the side in an effort to see what was going on. Sirius was stiff in front of Remus, he hated cats.

She sniffed the air once, and then moved one paw as though she were shrugging, and continued down the hall. Seconds later they heard Filch's voice. "There you are my precious! My pretty little Penny, have you caught any of those pesky mice? No? Well we'll get them soon enough, Miss Penny, you are such a _good_ little mouse catcher."

Sirius stifled a giggle and Remus jabbed him in the kidney, making him also stifle a yelp of pain. Footsteps retreated, and the four boys relaxed, exhaling for the first time in what felt like a year. They had just started to move away from the wall when Remus jerked James and Sirius back by their collars, making them choke and gag as they all scrambled to get back under the Cloak properly. Footsteps coming from the opposite direction now thundered down the hall, two people trotting – practically running – and two voices spoke hurriedly.

"...missing for three days, Albus, we mustn't assume it's nothing serious..." McGonagall was speaking in a hushed voice.

"I never assume, Minerva. I'm aware of the problem as much as you are." Dumbledore's voice was much louder, and as he came into sight they all saw that both teachers were fully dressed, a strange occurrence for it being so late at night.

"Well if one person vanishes, it's probably fickle tastes, if two people vanish they've run off together, but _five_ people have gone missing in the last four weeks and that cannot be ignored, Albus." McGonagall was frantic. "You know who it is, you know what he's doing. Even this close to Hogwarts!"

"Minerva please." Dumbledore was calm, reassuring, he placed a hand on McGonagall's shoulders as they paused not six feet from where the four Gryffindors were pressed against the wall in terror of being caught. "I am aware that this is the work of dark magic. I only ask that you do not panic. We will uncover the culprit soon enough, and we will solve this quickly and without the students even knowing."

McGonagall seemed to go back to her usual state of tranquility, and nodded brusquely. "I do hope so, Albus. Because if it is truly _him_..."

"It will be my highest priority to assure the safety of Hogwarts, Minerva. Never will he tread on school grounds while I am still Headmaster." There was some kind of knowing in his voice, a strange secret that he wasn't sharing with anyone else, but before they could figure out what the two were actually talking about, they had started off down the hallway in silence.

James yanked off the Cloak. "What do you suppose that was all about?" He questioned.

Sirius fidgeted as they headed back to Gryffindor Tower. "You heard them. Dark magic. Something is hurting people."

"Not at Hogwarts!" Peter yelped, his hand still over his mouth from ten minutes ago.

"Maybe, maybe not." Sirius said with a frown.

"Hogwarts is the safest place on Earth except for maybe Gringott's, Sirius." Remus protested as they clambered through the portrait hole.

They waited a few more minutes until they were all safely back in the dormitory. Then Peter sat on Sirius' bed, and Remus sat on James', so that they could talk without disturbing the other few boys in the room. "Well why did McWhiskers get all freaked out then, huh? I've never seen her that way."

"Sirius, she wasn't freaked out, just worried." Remus argued. Though it was true that he'd only seen that expression once before on their Transfiguration professor. When Remus had been late getting into the Shrieking Shack on James' birthday last year. She was frightened, and worried all at once.

"Although, Sirius. We would have heard something sooner if it was Hogwarts students, you know." James pointed out thoughtfully.

"That's right, everyone would have been talking about it if five students went missing in the last month!" Peter said, and Sirius conceded this with a nod. The Hogwarts rumor mill would have been whirring at full speed with news like that.

"Well... it's still strange. We'll have to listen harder and see what's up." Sirius decided. Remus rolled his eyes at his nosy friend.

The four all went back to their separate beds, climbing in and closing their curtains in order for them to get some sleep. McGonagall's face had struck a chord with Remus, and he stayed up even after he heard Sirius start snoring beside him, thinking about it. What could make Minerva McGonagall more frightened than a werewolf?

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Not much to say about this chapter actually. As you can see the boys are getting themselves into some very advanced magic, and nobody ever listens to poor Remus. Please Review!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*


	9. Chapter 9: Losses

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: October and November 1973

[][][][][][]

**KABOOM!**

There was an explosion of blue and purple into the air, and all the girls in the class screamed. Most of the students on either side of the table had dived for the floor, including Peter and James, who were partnered together just on the other side of Severus Snape and Lily Evans.

The Slytherin and Gryffindor in front of the jinxed cauldron had been drenched in the dark liquid. Sirius and Remus had turned to look at the explosion. Remus had jumped back when they'd heard the bursting cauldron. Sirius had already been steeling himself for it, checking back every so often to see when Snape was going to be putting the third ingredient in the potion. They were making Lethargy Potions, and Remus could already see Lily becoming faint and tired, and even Snape – through his fury – had slumped onto the floor. A Slytherin girl was letting out short little screams, which were fading as the potion began to affect her as well.

James and Peter had come out from under their table, just like everyone else, and Slughorn had immediately pointed his wand at the liquid splattered everywhere. Within a moment it was gone, and he scurried over to help Severus into a chair. James had jumped forward to help Lily, setting her down.

"It's quite all right!" Slughorn was saying reassuringly. "The effects will wear off in about ten minutes, as the potion had not been brewing for very long. There's not even a need to go to the Hospital Wing, unless either of you are injured otherwise?"

They both shook their heads listlessly. Snape had a huge bruise growing on his head where the brunt of the cauldron had hit him, but since it was rubberized it hadn't actually caused him much damage. "Professor... I didn't... do it wrong..." Severus managed to get out, quite firm in his belief.

"Don't worry my boy!" Slughorn patted him on the shoulder kindly. "Everyone makes a mistake sometimes, I promise you that this will not affect your final grade in the slightest. I'll even allow you to redo the potion for extra credit, so long as you are supervised by me." He chuckled at that, but Snape shook his head a bit harder, seeming to come out of the potion-induced stupor to glare fiercely at his teacher.

"I. Did _not_. Do it wrong." He said angrily, and Slughorn blinked curiously.

"Perhaps you'd better go to Madam Pomfrey after all for that bruise, you got knocked upside the head quite severely." Slughorn glanced around, and unfortunately James was the only one nearby, still standing next to Lily. "Mr. Potter, kindly take Mr. Snape up to the Hospital Wing."

James balked. "But Professor, I'm not finished with mine!"

Slughorn shook his head. "In light of the explosion, every potion in this room is probably tainted, therefore I am forced to render the assignment void. No points will be awarded nor taken away." He stood up, looking around the room, and waving his wand over the scattered pieces of cauldron. They vanished with a pop, except for the piece that Sirius had shoved into the pocket of his robes. "Everyone please put the lid on your cauldrons. Please note that although I'm not forcing you to complete this potion, the ingredients and uses of the mixture will be on your next test."

James had – reluctantly and with disgust showing on his face – lifted Severus by the arm and was now leaving. Remus gazed at them as they left, knowing that Snape hated the idea of James half-carrying him to the hospital wing as James hated having to do it. Sirius whistled as he pulled back out the scrap of cauldron. It was quite rubbery, but blackened around the edges from the explosion.

"Boy, James is good with Charms, huh? That was bloody brilliant! Best thing we've done in a while." Sirius said as everyone mulled around the classroom, now left without anything to do for the last fifteen minutes. Lily was becoming more energetic again, brushing off the people trying to help her. Sirius had a weird look on his face as he gazed at Lily, and Remus raised an eyebrow.

"She's fine, Sirius." He pointed out, and Sirius jerked back.

"I wasn't..." He protested instantly, and Remus blinked and smothered a smirk. "James helped her." Sirius said incredulously.

"Well she was going to fall. You wouldn't have let her fall, would you?" Remus said in confusion.

Peter let out a squeak of a laugh. "That's not what he meant. James _wanted_ to help her."

Remus stared. Sirius groaned. "Oh never mind! You are completely stupid, Moony."

"Hey!" Remus protested, as the bell finally chimed for the end of class, and they gathered their things. James met them at the top of the stairs to the dungeons, looking extremely displeased.

"Why did you help Evans?" Sirius questioned James immediately. James looked taken aback, shrugging one shoulder in response.

"She nearly fell into me."

"She did not. You raced over to help her."

James raised an eyebrow. "I was... being chivalrous?"

Sirius looked irritated as they walked out of the castle and towards the grounds where their Care of Magical Creatures class was held. Professor Kettleburn was sitting on a stool, rubbing his one stump of an arm.

Remus watched Sirius as Kettleburn began his lecture, and wondered what had Sirius so uptight. So James had helped a _girl_, big deal.

[][][][][][]

"Students!" McGonagall stood up that evening at dinner, and the Great Hall fell almost silent. The Slytherins ignored her at first, until they all realized that she was staring at them, her gaze level but deadly. "I have an announcement to make!"

When the Great Hall was fully quiet, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter all looked over at Dumbledore. He looked serious, but willing to let McGonagall speak. She was his second-in-command after all.

"There have been a number of disturbances in the village of Hogsmeade of late." She began. Whispers immediately began through the room, but a glare from her shut them all up again. The four boys at the Gryffindor table looked at each other knowingly, their eyes doing all the talking. "As such, I am very sorry to say that the Hogsmeade weekend coming up will be canceled."

A roar of anger and protest came up from every table, the Gryffindors and Slytherins the only two houses with enough courage to stand up as they tried to argue. Dumbledore now stood, raising a hand. The students once again fell silent, sitting back down. They were still grumbling, even as the headmaster began to speak. "I apologize sincerely for this problem, everyone. I please ask that you do not get angry. There will be more Hogsmeade weekends, I promise you, and Zonko's and Honeyduke's and every other shop will still be there. As a consolation prize, we will be serving butterbeer at this year's Halloween feast. Now, please, go back to eating."

McGonagall and Dumbledore both sat down again. Now the whispered conversations and grumbles became even louder as students argued and debated as to what was going on.

Sirius turned to the group, excited. "They've been disappearing from Hogsmeade!"

The three other boys nodded furiously. Sirius and James began discussing the disappearances, but Remus felt himself getting distracted by his own thoughts. Nobody really ate anymore dinner, and soon everyone was filing out of the Great Hall. Remus heard rumors that were little more than wild speculation, everything from a pixie infestation to a mass murderer on the loose. They had no idea that there were any disappearances, but it had to be something serious to prevent the students from going to Hogsmeade.

That night in their dormitory Sirius and Peter had crowded onto James' bed again, the curtain half-way around them so that they could talk in semi-privacy. Remus was laying in his own bed, not caring, but Sirius was still quite exhilarated. Even the fact that none of them would be enjoying Hogsmeade for a while didn't matter much to Sirius.

"So people are disappearing from Hogsmeade. What do you think it is?" Sirius said curiously.

"Who knows?" James said with a smirk. "Maybe Cassandra MacMillan was right, you know. Maybe it's some crazy mass murderer serial killer fellow on a rampage!"

Peter yelped. "What if he gets to the school!"

Remus snorted derisively. The three boys looked over at him, and Remus blinked. "Oh honestly. Haven't any of you three ever read _Hogwarts: A History_?" When he was met with three blank faces, he rolled his eyes. "Honestly!"

Sirius scowled. "Well not all of us are boring, Moony."

Remus sighed. "Would you stop calling me that?" He was normally indifferent to his new nickname, but the way Sirius had said it was completely condescending and it sparked annoyance in him. "Hogwarts is protected by several dozen special spells for protection. Muggle repellents, Unplottability, Disillusionment Charms, the whole lot. But also, there are special protection spells that help stop any person with wicked intentions from getting in. They aren't foolproof, like you can trick them pretty easily, but if it's just some crazy wand-happy guy, he's not getting in past the gates."

James tapped his chin. "Should we go see Hogsmeade maybe?"

"Don't you dare!" Remus said quickly. "I _will_ go to McGonagall." All three boys looked at him, and Remus turned bright red. Their feelings of betrayal passed over him in waves like a physical wall, and he shrunk down into his blankets. "It's too risky!" He argued without them even having said anything. "If there is something seriously wrong... well there's a reason that they want students to stay out."

It was Sirius that snorted this time, and Remus gave him a bit of a glare. "Moony, you're being such a child."

"We're only thirteen." Remus protested.

"That isn't what I meant. I mean, always listening to your teachers, your mummy -"

"Don't talk about my mother, Sirius, please." He said, his voice much calmer than he felt.

Sirius made an unapologetic motion with his hand. "_We_ should figure it out."

"Why us?" Remus asked even though he half-way knew the answer. "There are a dozen grown-ups that can handle it. Why do we have to do it?"

Sirius actually shrugged, as though he thought the answer was obvious. "I dunno. You just want to lay back and let adults take care of you for the rest of your life?"

"No. Just... for the next four years anyway." Remus said shakily. Sirius and James both laughed, and a body three beds away grumbled and rolled over, and they fell silent.

"We can't just sit back while things happen without us." Sirius said loftily.

[][][][][][]

Halloween came and went, relatively interesting. Sirius and his friends managed to play a trick or two on the Slytherins for the holiday, but the whole castle just seemed a bit boring. Perhaps because of the lack of Hogsmeade, they were all a bit listless and irritable. Remus spent the weekend reading, or trying to. Sirius made it his special mission to prevent Remus from doing so, even after Remus hit him upside the head with _Spellman's Syllabary _and nearly gave him a concussion.

A few days before Sirius' birthday in mid-November, the four boys were all lazing about in the common room. Even Remus wasn't doing his homework, or reading. Instead they all sat around, not really doing anything at all. Sirius and James were playing chess, but Sirius was mostly lining up his pieces for the slaughter. Peter was gazing at a group of girls on the other side of the common room with a strange amount of interest. Remus was stretched out on a nearby sofa, lackadaisically swirling his wand over his head, causing a trail of soft silver sparks to whirl in the air.

James killed Sirius' queen quite brutally, and then sat back. "You aren't even trying."

Sirius shrugged in boredom, stretching his hands over his head. Even though they had not talked about the strange happenings at Hogsmeade again since several weeks ago, Sirius had still been listening. He and James had even snuck out to Honeyduke's just briefly one night. Remus was _partly_ right about it being too dangerous. They had just poked their heads around, seeing if they could hear anything. They hadn't gleaned any new information though.

There was a sudden shriek, faded as though it came from a distance. Everyone in Gryffindor Tower jumped from where they were sitting as the scream went on and on, joined by a second voice, also screaming. The four boys ran to the window along with a dozen other people, elbowing their way to the front. There was a group of about six students gathered in a circle, hiding something within their ranks, and they could just see the pointed hat of Professor McGonagall dragging a young girl away. She was doubled over, still screaming. Hagrid was there too, much easier to see, as he pushed everyone out of the way. As soon as the circle was opened, half the students crowded around the Gryffindor window were suddenly screaming and backing away from the window.

There on the grounds, barely even recognizable, was a body. But it was entirely torn asunder. All that was visible from this distance were crimson blood, black robes, pale skin, and long, dark hair. Sirius felt a shiver of terror, and when he looked over at Remus the boy was shaking, and then fighting his way back from the window and running off.

"Remus!" Sirius turned, but was momentarily trapped by the growing crowd of people around the window.

When he had finally been freed from the group of Gryffindors all crying out in fear and talking to each other in hurried voices, he raced up the stairs to see what had happened to Remus. He grabbed at Remus' curtain, but the fabric did not move. Sirius looked surprised. What charm could keep him from pulling the curtains open? The curtains felt hard, almost like they were made of wood. He tugged a bit harder, but they didn't budge.

"Remus?" It was Sirius' voice, concerned as he obviously tried to yank at the curtains. Remus had spelled them as soon as they had closed, and now he was sitting alone, deaf to anyone outside his bed. It was dark, but Remus didn't even bother to light his wand.

_Dark. Darkness stronger than anything. Silence and darkness and then, like a spotlight from a stage the clouds broke and there it was, the moon. Full and round and yellow-white, glowing down at him wickedly. His hands reached up to fist in his hair and he whined in pain._

"Remus!" James now, but he ignored them both, even as the rapping on his curtains became even louder.

_Pain. Unendurable pain. His bones were breaking, elongating, fur sprouting from his arms. And then... blood. Coppery scents tantalizing him, swirling in his nostrils like the smell of a baking pie, drawing him closer._

"I could hurt him if I used a Blasting Curse!" James was saying angrily, and Sirius muttered something, and Remus felt himself calming down, but the memories were still surging.

_Biting and breaking, blood on his tongue and he wanted, no _needed_ more, more blood, more pain, more screams. Make the human hurt like he was hurting, make it scream for mercy until he finally snapped its neck._

"_Finite_!" Sirius had finally figured out what to do when confronted with an unknown spell, and the curtain shimmered for a moment before it fluttered in the wind. Sirius grabbed it and yanked it open, and Remus looked up at them.

"Blimey Remus... are you crying?" James asked. Remus' hand touched his face and realized that yes, it was wet, and salty liquid stained his lips.

He turned away and pressed his sleeve to his eyes, ignoring everything else. The three boys were the only ones in the dormitory, and they all looked at him. James looked worried, Sirius looked surprised, and Peter actually looked quite afraid.

"Sorry." Remus mumbled. "I could... I could smell the blood... even from up here."

They all seemed to understand, and James sat down on the bed, relaxing. "You only had to tell us then."

Remus took out one of his mother's handkerchiefs and blew his nose, sniffing a bit and shrugging. He tried to make it seem like he was perfectly calm, but he could still smell the body and the blood, like it was a cloak clinging to his skin.

He had never killed before, but he had had nightmares about it. Even if he did kill someone though, would he know? He rarely had memories of the full moon, only waking up and feeling pain from whatever injuries he had felt the night before. Would he recognize the taste of someone else's blood in his mouth? Would he know that someone else had suffered because of his disease?

Sirius blinked. "McGonagall." He said, as they heard a voice from downstairs. They all scrambled upright again, heading out to the common room, even Remus, who was still rubbing his nose with the handkerchief.

"Everyone please calm down!" She said loudly. She was frazzled, her hair coming out of her bun, her hat completely askew. Remus stood at the top of the stairs while Sirius, James, and Peter all pushed their way to the front, trying to listen.

It was several minutes before the residents of Gryffindor Tower had calmed down enough for her to speak. "Thank you. Now everyone, please, there will be an official announcement soon, I cannot reveal anymore details. I need to speak to Remus Lupin."

Remus froze as every single person in the room turned to find him, and then all stared up at the stairs at the same time. Sirius and James had shock in their eyes, and Peter looked terrified. Remus walked down, and the crowd parted for him to get to McGonagall. He followed her out of the portrait hole, his heart thumping. It was beating so hard and fast he thought it was going to explode and then McGonagall would be too busy being covered in his insides to worry about whatever she was worrying about.

[][][][][][]

"Mr. Lupin. Please answer the question." McGonagall's voice was calm now at least. But her appearance was no less worn and frantic. He looked at her, and then into the bright blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore.

He had never been in the Headmaster's office before. He'd only gotten in trouble once or twice in the last three years due to his associations with Sirius and James, but those times he'd only ever been lectured in McGonagall's office. Sirius had been in this circular room innumerable times, for fighting or pranking or maybe just because one of his teachers didn't like the look he was giving them.

"Remus." Dumbledore's voice was soft, reassuring, and Remus finally seemed to come out of his daze. "I understand this is very difficult for you. But you must tell us all that you know."

"I'm sorry Professor..." Remus said, feeling small and frail as he racked his brains. "I just don't... I just don't know. I never remember what happens in the night. When I'm... when it takes over, it's not me anymore, it's kind of like going to sleep, only foggy... sometimes I can smell stuff? I..." He trailed off, closing his mouth.

"But you are sure... you are _positive_ that you never left the Shack?" Dumbledore pressed him, not letting him think, demanding the answer instantly.

"Yes." Remus said, but his voice was more uncertain than he felt. "The trap door can only be opened with a key or a wand, and I didn't have either one that night... I mean my wand was in my robes but there's no way..."

"Yes, yes." Dumbledore cut him off, leaning back in his seat.

"P-professor..." Remus hated the stammer in his voice, and he licked his bottom lip to try and calm himself down. "What's happened?"

"Mr. Lupin, it's not something you should know..."

"It's all right Minerva." Dumbledore raised a hand. "We will be making the unfortunate announcement soon. Fourth year Ravenclaw Ursula Perch was found this afternoon, by her friends. She had gone missing two days ago after claiming that she was going down after hours to the Forbidden Forest to do some research. We believe that she strayed too close to the forest, and was attacked."

Two days. Remus' throat actually felt like it was physically burning with the words that he was holding back. Two days ago had been the full moon. Had been the first moon in a while when he had woken up with little more than bruises and a light cut. Had he...

"There are many beasts in the Forbidden Forest, Remus." Dumbledore said quietly, gazing into his face as though he were reading his mind. Remus felt only slightly reassured. "There are many possibilities. We will exhaust every single one first."

The headmaster straightened and looked at McGonagall. "Minerva, I would like you to alert Professors Flitwick, Sprout and Slughorn. Please tell them to collect their houses and bring them into the Great Hall. And then of course fetch the Gryffindors. I will make a public announcement to everyone. Take Remus with you, back to his house, and his friends." Dumbledore smiled, but Remus' face remained empty. "All will be well, Remus."

[][][][][][]

Remus wasn't talking. Remus wasn't talking and among the clatter of students, and the whispers, and the sobbing from the Ravenclaw table, his silence seemed the loudest of all. James didn't know how silence could be loud, but Remus' quiet demeanor was screaming at them. Sirius wasn't speaking, but at least he was fidgeting, tapping his fingers against the table, shifting back and forth on the bench so that it squeaked lightly, inhaling and exhaling rather loudly as he thought. Remus though... Remus was still. As though he had looked at a basilisk straight on, his face was frozen in a blank gaze, his body sat on the bench with his hands in his lap and his eyes were slightly wider than usual, glassy. The expression in his eyes was familiar. James knew it meant that Remus was thinking about something and was distracted from his surroundings. Half the reason he had earned his new nickname. Moony.

Dumbledore raised his hands over his head, and immediately a hush fell over the hall. It was punctuated occasionally by more crying from the Ravenclaw table. Older students were comforting younger ones, most of the first and second years were in tears, but two or three students who were either third years or fourth years were crying the hardest of all, and one of them had a dark brownish stain on her jumper, and James shivered, recognizing her as the girl that McGonagall had been leading away from the body on the grounds.

"I have grave news." Dumbledore said, his voice full of regret. "I am very sorry to announce that one of our own has been lost today. Ursula Perch, formerly of Ravenclaw, was found at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. It is a tragedy to lose a student, no matter the house, and we will mourn her."

As he said the word mourn, all four house tapestries hanging from the walls of the Great Hall transformed to pitch black, and the charmed ceiling became dark as great big black clouds passed over the sun that had been there. A somber mood settled over the room. Dumbledore continued, saying that the Ministry and Miss Perch's parents would be arriving the next day to take care of things and to assure that a full investigation was made.

"And I _must_ remind you that Miss Perch's story is a grave retelling of the consequences of going out after hours, and of approaching the Forbidden Forest. We beg that no students will be forced to endure what she did, and you will all obey the rules more closely in her memory."

He dismissed them not too much later. James looked at Remus. The other boy got up from the table as though he were being Imperioused, pushing into the crowd, ignoring Sirius, James, and Peter, who were all gathering together. "Remus!" James called, but even though Remus turned his head at his name, he was already being swept away by the students filing out.

Sirius was tugging on his arm frantically. "What do you -"

"I don't know, Sirius." James snapped, realizing he was angrier than he thought he would be at Sirius asking his usual questions. "This isn't really the time. Someone's _died_ you know."

The dark-haired boy looked taken aback, and slightly upset. "I was just wondering. Whatever was in Hogsmeade..."

James calmed down, slowing down as he spotted Peter behind them getting swallowed by the students and then reappearing a few yards away. "Yeah, well that much is obvious."

"Did you see what happened? That's not just some crazy bumbling axe murderer." Sirius said in a hushed voice as they walked past a Ravenclaw prefect holding several younger students close while they cried into the older girl's robes.

"Yes I know, Sirius. It looked like an animal..." James blinked behind his glasses as suddenly something clicked. He turned white as a sheet, and Sirius stared at him in confusion as they filed behind the rest of the Gryffindors climbing the stairs.

"What, what is it, James?"

"Shush. I... we'll have to talk about it later."

When they entered the common room everyone seemed quiet and confused. James motioned to Peter and Sirius, who trotted behind him up the stairs to the dormitory. Remus' bed was cut off again from sight by the ruby red curtains, and they heard muffled noises coming from it. James lead them to Peter's bed, the furthest bed from both the door and from Remus, and they all huddled within the curtain. James even threw in a "_silencio_" for good measure.

"They might have found her body today, but I don't think she died today." James began.

Peter gasped. "What do you mean!"

Sirius shushed him, and James cleared his throat to continue. "I think she might have died two days ago... at the full moon."

The blond didn't seem to understand what James was trying to say, but by the way that Sirius froze and turned pale, James was sure _he_ immediately comprehended. "The... full moon?"

James nodded slowly, glancing at the curtain which was hiding Remus' bed from them. "And I think that's why McGonagall wanted to talk to him, to see if he knew what he'd done."

"He didn't do it!" Sirius' voice was loud, angry. "He couldn't have done!"

"Sirius, it's _possible_... I mean, if he managed to escape the Shack..."

"No! There's no way!"

"Calm down Sirius, I'm just saying."

"Saying you think that Remus is a killer?" Sirius' face was now dark, and angry.

"Calm down, I'm just saying we have to be realistic. I don't think he did it, I know the Shack is a good place for him. I'm just trying to think of our options."

"What do they do to werewolves that have killed?" Peter squeaked out, finally having figured out what they were talking about.

James and Sirius both glared him into submission, and then looked towards Remus' bed again, the same expression on their faces. They were both wondering what was going on behind the curtain. Finally the bespectacled boy returned his gaze to his two friends, his childish jaw set in determination. "It wasn't him. We'll prove it if we have to."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well... I have some very exciting things lined up for 3rd year as you see. I wanted to integrate both the rise of the Dark Lord and the troubles of the Marauders. It's not as canon as most of my storyline, but there's nothing that says it couldn't have happened.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_pshhh yeahh and freakyprincess-87_: reviews! you really make my day.

_anonymous_: for your detailed review, and I would like to let you know that all the stops along the way are what make a story worth reading. =D


	10. Chapter 10: The Forbidden Forest

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Still November, 1973

[][][][][][]

"I still think, Albus, that this was a very bad idea. Letting it into the school."

"Minister, the boy is a model student. _He_ is one of Gryffindor's most promising youth."

"But the danger! I tried to warn you, I did, when you spoke to me before."

"Yes Minister. But, as I told you before, the Ministry has no jurisdiction over whom I allow into my school. I shouldered the responsibility of accepting young Mr. Lupin. I trust him implicitly." Dumbledore's voice was calm, even as the minister's round face spluttered in rage.

"The parents expect _me_ to do something about it! They want the Ministry to step in, and if that means appointing a new headmaster, one who will be more concerned with the safety of his students..."

"Do not _ever_ presume that I am not concerned with the safety of my students, Ignacio." Dumbledore had drawn himself up to his full height, gazing down his crooked nose to the Minister of Magic. The squatter man looked flabbergasted, before scowling.

"I am not implying that you are incompetent in any way, Headmaster." He said very stiffly. "But something must be done immediately."

"I agree."

"Well, will you _permit_ me to send three Aurors down to investigate?" The Minister looked as though he were going to do it whether or not he received permission, and was only asking out of courtesy.

"Two Aurors, Minister, if you would be so kind. I do not want to cause undue panic and fear among the students."

"I think this would be due panic, Albus." Ignacio was calmer now, even smiling weakly, but he nodded his head in agreement. "Two Aurors it is. They'll be here before lunchtime, and they will perform a thorough search of the area."

"I will have Hagrid take them into the Forbidden Forest. He is well-acquainted with the creatures within, not to mention he will assure your people do not get lost."

"Indeed." Ignacio looked skeptical, but agreed to that as well. The two men headed further down the hall, out of sight.

James relaxed, releasing Sirius from where they had been hiding behind a column. They had skipped Transfiguration, forcing Peter to go and inform McGonagall that they had gotten into a fight with one another and ended up in the hospital wing. Remus was genuinely ill however, having not moved from his bed for the entire rest of yesterday after the announcement.

"Damn it, they really do think it's him!" Sirius hissed, absolutely furious.

"Dumbledore doesn't." James corrected, peering around. He fished the Invisibility Cloak out from underneath his robes and sighed, whipping it over the two of them. Sirius and James fit quite comfortably underneath the Cloak, and they scurried out of the castle and out onto the grounds. They were headed directly to Hagrid's hut.

The cheerful half-giant was not immensely popular with most of the students, but Sirius and James had already served three detentions with him, and therefore they had gotten to know him a bit better than some of the other students. He would know better than anyone what was going on.

James went up to knock on his door hard. They saw over in the distance a small area had been staked off from the rest of the grounds. Ursula's parents had already come and taken the body, but the area had been preserved so that the Aurors could investigate it. It took several minutes before the door opened.

Hagrid stared out at the empty space before him, and James poked his face out of the Cloak. Hagrid nearly shouted, and James hissed. "It's us, we really need to talk to you."

The huge man gazed at them, and then furrowed his brow. "Ye should be in class." But he opened up the door a bit further and James and Sirius slid inside. "Who's with ya?"

"Sirius." James said as though that answer should have been obvious. He shed the Cloak inside and sat down at Hagrid's giant table, sighing a bit. "We need to talk to you about the attack."

"I cain't tell you nothing 'bout that." Hagrid said firmly. "Dumbledore said that I was to keep details from the students. Twas horrible, that. You cain't even imagine." He looked like he was going to cry, and James noticed a handkerchief the size of a tablecloth sitting on the kitchen counter looking a bit stained.

"It's really important, Hagrid!" James said urgently. Hagrid along with the rest of the Hogwarts staff knew of Remus' affliction, but they did not know that Sirius, James, and Peter had discovered it last year. "They think... they think _Remus_ did it!"

Hagrid froze, staring at James. He quickly spoke, obviously trying to cover up what he thought was a strange coincidence. "Why in God's name would Remus kill that girl?"

"Well, not exactly Remus Remus, but werewolf Remus. We found out last year, Hagrid, we know what he is, why he's gone once a month, and we know he stays in the Shrieking Shack and gets there via the Whomping Willow." James said quickly, and Hagrid's bright black eyes widened at this news.

"Ye... ye shouldn't know that!" Hagrid said, slumping in a chair.

"Hagrid, please!" Sirius spoke up finally, his voice pleading. "Tell us what they think happened."

Hagrid grunted and finally got up to put a teapot on the stove. "Tweren't no ordinary animal." He finally admitted. Sirius and James were twisted up tight as shoes three sizes too small, ready to explode at any moment. "It looked like she'd... like she'd been torn apart. Her face was ruined. Her friend knew who she were by her hair, and the gold bracelet she had on her wrist, that she always wore. Whatever did it... twas something, not someone, that's fer sure. I ain't never seen a werewolf attack befer, so I couldn't say whether twas Remus or not. But it weren't no creature I've ever seen in the Forbidden Forest."

James and Sirius both looked at each other. James' heart was sinking fast. "Are there... are there other werewolves?"

Hagrid shrugged one huge shoulder, setting down three mugs and pouring hot water into each, followed by tea bags. James and Sirius took them, but didn't drink, merely looking upset but hopeful. "I dunno. The forest is a big place, even I ain't been to all the parts of it. There might yet be a pack of werewolves or even just regular wolves, and them's the ones that attacked that poor girl." He reached for the giant handkerchief and blew his nose again, sniffling several times.

James sighed, feeling dejection down to his very toes. Sirius stood up. "We'll just have to prove it was some other wolves then." He announced with determination.

[][][][][][]

Later that day, two people arrived on the grounds that weren't students or staff. One of them was a tall and bulky fellow, unknown to most by sight. He was rough and tumble, with grizzle brown hair. He had a few scars on his face, but they were minimal, and easily overshadowed by his right eye. Instead of yet another dark, normal eye like the first, this Auror's second eye was brilliant, electric blue. It whirred all over in every direction, even rolling completely backwards, and seemed to follow other things even as he was speaking to Dumbledore. He had a staff with him as well, using it to motion out to the grounds. The older students whispered that based on that eye he had to be Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody, one of the most powerful Aurors in the Ministry. He'd only earned his nickname a few years ago, when he'd lost his eye mysteriously. Mysteriously to the Hogwarts students anyway.

The second Auror was a young man, looking to be about twenty years old. He had dark hair and eyes, but a wide, bright grin, even as Moody snapped orders at him. Again, the older students seemed to recognize him, as he had graduated from Hogwarts not three years ago. It was Frank Longbottom, who was finishing up his Auror training.

James and Sirius had reluctantly returned to class after visiting Hagrid, though they were sorely tempted to skip again and instead follow Moody and Frank to figure out what they were doing. Remus was back though, looking fragile and paranoid, and they were determined to remain through the rest of their classes. To provide moral support.

The boy really looked traumatized. James and Sirius tried to be as cheerful as possible to make up for it, even though Remus barely even reacted to their usual jokes. Sirius was on edge though, and when Severus made a comment towards evening about how it should have been a Gryffindor out on the lawn Sirius had snapped, and James had struggled to haul him off of the greasy-haired git before a teacher had arrived.

That night James looked up unexpectedly from his homework. He was entirely unable to study, his thoughts preoccupied with the investigation that was surely still going on outside. He'd only been reading so that he had something to do. His alarm was caused by Remus slamming closed the book he had been reading and heading upstairs. "Remus..." He attempted, but Remus only shot him an apologetic look and then vanished.

James shut his book as well and looked at Peter, who was trying not to scream at his Transfiguration homework, turning a matchstick into a needle. It was elementary first year stuff, but Peter had been assigned the task by McGonagall who told him that if he didn't get it perfect by the next day he would lose twenty points from his last test and be at risk for failing. James was planning on helping him later.

"Peter, stay here and be our alibi, okay?" James said, standing.

"Your what?"

"Alibi!" James sighed in exasperation. "It means, you tell McGonagall or Kalinda or whoever asks that we've already gone to bed if they wonder where we are." He pulled out the Cloak again, and motioned at Sirius, who was already setting down the parchment that he had been scribbling on.

"Where are you going?" Peter said mournfully, clearly wanting to go.

"We've... got to find out a few things." James said carefully. He always tried to give Peter just enough information so that the blond wouldn't be too irritated that he was left behind. But he also didn't want him to tell on them to McGonagall, even accidentally.

Peter seemed satisfied but disappointed, and James and Sirius hurried out of the tower as sneakily as possible. They put on the Cloak once they were alone in the halls, shuffling back out of the castle. It was dark outside, surprisingly so, and James was a bit frightened as they approached the giant trees of the Forbidden Forest. They saw two pinpricks of blue over the grounds, roaming around. Presumably the two Aurors, seeing what they could discover by nightfall. James and Sirius ignored them, and walked straight forward into the forest.

It was quiet, but far from calm. Owls were hooting, bugs were chirping, small creatures rustled in the underbrush, and far off in a distance the trees were swaying in the November breeze. James and Sirius only took off the Cloak when they were sure that they were safely within the forest. Once they could no longer see the castle behind them, James stopped.

"_Lumos_." Once the wand was lit, James stood thinking quietly for a while. "Ugh... I wish Remus were here."

"Why?" Sirius had lit his own wand as well, and was looking around.

"He'd know that Trailing Charm. You know, the one that remembers where you've been so you can find your way back." James furrowed his brow and stared at his wand as though it would do the spell automatically.

"Oh. I'm pretty sure it's _reductimis_ only you say it after you've already gotten lost and it retraces your steps." Sirius said, but there was a fair amount of uncertainty in his voice.

James sighed. "No... wait. I think I remember... _Point Me_." He lay his wand flat in his hand, and it spun, the tip of it pointing north, which was to their right. "Alright... we came from the east, so we've just got to remember to keep heading west to go back, as long as we go west, and maybe south a bit, we'll end up back at the castle."

Sirius nodded, and they trudged through the forest once again, James keeping his wand out and checking their direction every so often. It felt like they were marching for hours, tripping over roots and things even with their wands alight. Sirius seemed confident enough with what they were doing, but James was starting to have doubts. What if they did come across werewolves? What would they do? James didn't really know that many defensive spells except a mediocre Shield Charm and maybe a stunning spell if he racked his brain. He cursed their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for not having taught his thirteen and fourteen year old students more advanced offensive spells.

[][][][][][]

After winding their way around trees and off the usual path that Hagrid gave them, James paused again, checking their direction. "Good, still heading north-east." He said calmly.

There was a crack, and Sirius grabbed his upper arm. James looked up. "It's just a branch." The shorter of them said uncertainly, raising his wand up higher to see where they were.

They were in a sort of clearing. The trees above still obscured the night sky, but there were bits of openings. In those openings, there were strung giant, domed structures. They looked to be made of thick silver cord, and James initially thought that Hagrid had set up nets in order to catch some of the forest creatures for some reason.

However, moments later they heard a clicking noise, and another crack, and Sirius' grip on his arm became even tighter. James attempted to shake him off, to tell him it was fine, but words weren't coming to his lips.

"Stupid little students, coming into my home." Came a hissing, clicking voice, and James felt a shudder of terror go down his spine.

Out from the domed structure – which was not a net James realized, but a _web_ – appeared a giant spider. About the size of one of their four-poster beds, a pair of stingers near its mouth clicking together as it spoke. Sirius' grip on his arm was causing his hand to go numb, but James was no longer bothered by it, and was actually grateful for the contact. In fact, at the back of his mind he was trying to remember which one of them was faster. His father had once made the comment "You don't have to be faster than the manticore, just faster than the guy you're with." James had always viewed it as a joke, but he was starting to consider that there might be a grain of truth to it.

"You live here?" Sirius demanded, and James hissed under his breath to try and shut him up. Now was _not_ the time to be asking stupid questions!

"Yesss..." The spider clicked, moving a few inches closer.

"Wait! You have to tell us... something happened on the Hogwarts grounds."

The spider actually stopped, and gazed at them with eight piercing black eyes. It was dangerously close now, James very slowly began raising his wand so that he could be ready to fight it off whenever it got bored of Sirius' questions. "What occurs at Hogwarts is no concern of ours."

"Please, all we need is some information. A girl was attacked. She was killed by something in the forest."

"You are referring to the beast that rises with the full moon."

James' heart deflated like a Muggle balloon, and the spider clicked almost gleefully. One skinny, hairy leg took another step forward.

"How do you _know_ it was a werewolf!"

"My children saw it with their own eyes. They saw the monster drag the girl within the forest, and then kill her brutally. He did not eat, only toyed with her meaty bits. He left her inside the forest."

"Well how did they find her on the grounds if she was left inside?" Sirius asked quickly, trying to stave off those giant legs.

The spider seemed to be growing impatient. The clicking noise increased in volume and it shifted two great legs, as though it were fidgeting. "I do not know. All I know is what my children told me. That she was left inside the forest. They wanted to nibble on her but I told them no. No one must know we live here. If there are any killings... they must leave _no evidence_..."

James gasped as his eye was drawn by movement. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there were twenty, thirty, no, _fifty_ new spiders at least. None so large as the great spider that had been talking to them, ranging from the size of armchairs to barely bigger than James' foot, but they were all clicking menacingly, heading directly for the two boys who had just elected to become a meal.

"If we survive this, I'm going to kill you." James whispered to Sirius.

"If we survive this, I'm going to kiss you." Sirius shot right back.

"_Protego_!" The force of the spell, spoken as James raised his wand directly over his head, caused the closest spiders to be blown back. The shimmering shield in the air would not last long, but it did give James and Sirius a head start, as they wheeled around and began running.

"_Point me_!" James shouted, barely able to keep his wand on his hand so it could spin. Sirius was leading the way, but James grabbed him and pushed him slightly to the left, so that they were heading properly south-east.

The clicking behind them continued growing louder. James saw one spider climbing a tree, and could only assume that twenty more were doing the same. They were running too quickly to hide under the Cloak, all they could do was keep running. James shot a few more Shield Charms behind his head in a random direction, and he was rewarded for his efforts by hearing dull thuds as their pursuers hit them full on, probably knocking some of them out. James swore that if they made it out of this alive, he would study Defense Against the Dark Arts religiously, even if it meant reading _books_.

James kept them running mostly in a straight line, even as the spiders began to catch up to them. Sirius suddenly stopped, and James shouted something at him, he didn't even know what words he was using, and Sirius pointed his wand in the air and screamed a word that James couldn't understand over the blood pounding in his ears.

A pulse shot out from them like a wave, red light exploded in every direction. James ducked his head as he heard screams from the spiders, and several thumps as spiders fell from the trees to all hit the ground. Then Sirius grabbed James' arm and started running again. Whatever spell he had used had given them even more of a head start than James' simple Shield Charm.

"What... was that?" James shouted through gasps for breath. Sirius made a motion with his hand. _I'll tell you later_.

They exploded from the thick of the forest into a clearing. James tripped, and collapsed into cool grass, and scrambled back to his feet, raising his wand to where they had gone. Sirius had fallen on his knees as well, panting but still holding his wand up behind them. All was quiet however, James realized that the clicking had stopped, and there was no rustling either. They had managed to outrun their would-be killers. He fell backwards again, pressing one sweaty cheek to the ground and waiting for his heart to stop galloping right out of his chest like a startled unicorn.

"Radial Stunning Spell." Sirius finally said, and James knew it was in answer to his question earlier. "Lucius... taught me that one..."

James nodded and swallowed several times to get feeling back into his dry mouth. "I can't believe... it was Remus." He said severely.

"No..." Sirius shook his head, his hair damp with sweat, flying in every direction. "It had to be... some other werewolf..."

They finally got themselves back up, and James used the point me spell one last time before they headed off. They reached the edge of the forest just as pink dawn was coming over the horizon. James felt exhausted, drained, and about ready to pass out, his young body having used every ounce of adrenaline it could muster. He and Sirius went back underneath the Cloak to sneak past Hagrid's hut and into the castle. Hogwarts was just starting to come alive with the activity of the day, and James and Sirius had to avoid detection, as they looked quite odd. Their hair was messy and parts of it was plastered to their skin in sweat, their clothes were covered in dirt and torn in places from where they had caught themselves on brambles or branches, and they smelled distinctly of fear and damp earth.

They made it up to the dormitory. Peter was awake, sitting on the edge of his bed and waiting for them. When they threw off the Cloak the blond was on his feet immediately, fists curled against his stomach. "They took him, and I couldn't stop them!"

James and Sirius froze, then spoke in unison. "What?"

"Remus! McGonagall showed up really late last night, I was awake with Remus because he was still helping me with that stupid Transfiguration assignment. She told Remus that she needed him to come with her, and I asked why, and then she said that it was not of any great concern, but Remus' mum was really sick again and he might need to go to St. Mungo's to go see her, and Remus turned white, really _really_ white and I asked if I could go too, just for moral support and such, and she said no, and shouldn't you be working on your homework and so she took Remus and he hasn't come back!"

James looked over at the empty bed to his left. "Well... all of his things are still here... so that's a good sign?"

"Those Aurors. They must have found out that it was a werewolf. They must know what Remus is. Maybe they are questioning him... or torturing him... they're allowed to use the Unforgivables on suspects you know..."

"Only suspects they think have been using dark magic, Sirius!" James cut him off, his heart pounding again. "We... we can't assume that anything bad has happened. Let's just get ready for class. I know Remus will show up again, he will."

Sirius' eyes looked dead and unbelieving. After all that work, after nearly getting killed, Remus had still been whisked away right under their noses. James knew exactly how he felt, but instead of giving up, his determination was steeled. "We know it was a werewolf, but we don't know it was him. We can prove otherwise! Now..." He said lightly. "About that kiss..."

Sirius perked up a bit at least, and Peter looked alarmed. James clapped Sirius on the back. "I want you to take a shower and brush your teeth first, you smell like you've been eating mooncalf dung."

"It's got magical properties you know." Sirius said haughtily before heading to the bathroom. James even managed a laugh at that.

[][][][][][]

Remus didn't arrive for three classes. Even worse, Sirius and James didn't see either of the Aurors anymore either. They were sluggish that day. They'd stayed up all night, and Sirius felt like his legs each weighed fifty pounds as he tried to walk. Peter was too perky for his own good, and James had to prevent Sirius from belting him one across the mouth when Peter mentioned Azkaban later that day. Peter remained very quiet for the rest of the morning. Instead of eating lunch, the three of them headed up to Gryffindor Tower, trying to see if maybe Remus was skipping classes again or something equally as unlikely.

Instead, as they climbed up the dormitory stairs and entered their room, Sirius saw James turn deathly white next to him. As soon as he saw what James was looking at, he too, felt the color drain from his face.

Remus bed was perfectly set, the curtains pushed back. Remus' trunk, the books usually strewn about the bed area and piled on the nightstand, and even the ties and extra jumpers sometimes hanging from one of the posts were all gone. It was as though Remus had never slept there at all, never even existed. He was gone, who knows where. Azkaban? Or worse, the Ministry wouldn't even lock him up, they'd just sentence him to death. Kill him before the next full moon and anymore possible victims.

Something very heavy rested in the pit of Sirius' stomach. They could already be too late.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: as you can tell, I've invited some well-known characters from the canon series in. Mad-Eye Moody, everyone's favorite bad-ass Auror, but before he got all nasty. Frank Longbottom, who you all should know as Neville Longbottom's father, just barely finished with Auror training, and Aragog, everyone's least favorite giant spider dude. You won't be seeing Remus at all for a chapter or two, I think. Never fear, he will return!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_freaky-princess87, LoverFaery, pshhh yeahh_: three faithful readers already! I'm making little squee noises about you guys, you should know. xD


	11. Chapter 11: The Forest Again

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: The beginning of December, 1973

[][][][][][]

Three weeks passed. Sirius barely even noticed that his birthday came and went, except for the emerald and silver tie that his parents sent him reproachfully. Ever since Regulus had been accepted to Slytherin like a good little Black, they had been even more ashamed of Sirius. He hadn't even been able to get angry at them though. He was too preoccupied. He burned the tie, but his eyes kept flickering over to Remus' empty bed. The sandy-haired boy hadn't even sent them a letter.

Teachers when asked claimed that Remus' mother was on her deathbed, and he was going to be out of school until she was either well again, or until the funeral. Sirius, James, and Peter however, knew the truth. They pestered McGonagall for real news, and Hagrid, and just about everyone, but only ever got the same answer. Remus was fine, he was at St. Mungo's, or in Hagrid's case, he was just at the Ministry, no need to worry. But worry they did.

"Acid Pops, Cauldron Cakes, Fizzing Whizzbees, Pumpkin Tart, Nutty Nougat..." Sirius was listing off candy quite frantically, his fingers ticking off each set of words as he spoke them. "Uh..." He trailed off, unable to think of anything else.

"Sugar Quill? Oh, there it is." James piped up, and the gargoyle in front of the door obediently began to move out of the way, revealing the spiral staircase that lead up to Dumbledore's office. "He really should figure out a new way to remember passwords."

They clambered up the stairs, and then froze next to the door that blocked off the stairs from the office. "Shh, I can hear him talking." James whispered as Sirius tried to speak. They both pressed an ear to the door, falling still.

"I am appalled, Minister." Dumbledore's voice was quite dangerous, and Sirius shivered a bit. "_I_ am responsible for this castle, and the students, and you have no power to kidnap and lock up my students. Ever."

Ignacio Yiddles' face could not be seen through the crack in the door, but his shoulders were stiff, and his hands were on his knees, gripping them tightly. "Moody and Longbottom both agreed that it was a werewolf who had performed the attack."

"The Forbidden Forest is broad and there might be more than one -"

"There is only one suspect as of now. We will inte- question rather – the boy, and determine whether or not he has any knowledge of this. Rest assured that I will not remove him from the grounds of Hogwarts until we are absolutely certain. He will remain in the dungeons until we are completely finished with the investigation, I promise you."

Dumbledore's face was twisted slightly. He still looked calm, but there was a piercing and terrifying look to his eyes that Sirius sincerely hoped would never be pointed at him. He adjusted his half-moon spectacles and exhaled slowly. "Very well, Minister. You will however, keep me informed. And if any Unforgivables are used..."

"None will be, Headmaster." The Minister stood, and James and Sirius flattened themselves against the wall. James had pulled just the hood off the Cloak, and now he returned it. The stairway was narrow, but the Minister managed to get by them without even brushing them, and they exhaled as they heard the gargoyle move below them. James pulled off the Cloak and shoved it under his robes, before opening the door.

"Professor Dumbledore!" He said, and the headmaster looked up from his desk, quite surprised. Then a gentle smile spread on his face.

"Mr. Potter. And Mr. Black, of course. Welcome back. Would you like some tea? No? Perhaps a lemon drop?" He said, motioning to the bowl on the desk.

James shook his head and remained standing. "They've locked Remus up!"

Dumbledore nodded sagely. He didn't even say anything about the fact that James obviously knew Remus' secret. "They have. But he won't be removed from the grounds."

"But he didn't do it!" Sirius said angrily, and James nodded in agreement.

Dumbledore looked almost sad. "I'm afraid that there is no proof that he didn't. Even Mr. Lupin himself doesn't think he can say for certain whether or not he did."

"We know he didn't do it, we just _know_!" Sirius said even more angrily, his eyes flashing with that dark rage. Sirius was a usually happy person, even when pounding Snivellus' face in. But he had a dark soul, capable of a lot of anger. Centuries of Pureblood breeding and hatred all boiled down inside his genes.

The silver-haired wizard raised a hand to calm Sirius, but the youth would not be placated. "Mr. Black. I am the first person who would want Remus to be found innocent. But there is just no proof you see." His blue eyes sparkled suddenly as he looked at James. "With Aurors Moody and Longbottom preoccupied with investigating Remus, other avenues of inquiry would be left wide open, Mr. Potter."

Sirius had no idea what Dumbledore was talking about, but James seemed to comprehend, and he nodded very slowly. The blue eyes closed and the elder sighed, folding his long, thin fingers together on the desk in front of him.

James cleared his throat. "Yes Professor. Thank you. We'll... we'll leave you alone."

"Thank you. And please, next time would you knock before eavesdropping?" Dumbledore said as they turned to the door. James flushed a tad, but Sirius was too angry.

Once they were back in the hall, James sighed. "Come on Sirius."

"What are we doing?" Sirius muttered. "Dumbledore himself practically just testified for the prosecution."

"He told us there was nothing _official_ that he could do. God Sirius, you are dense sometimes." James said. "He wants us to investigate ourselves. Moody and Frank are going to be busy with Remus, so we can go back into the Forbidden Forest."

"Back?" Sirius squeaked faintly, clearing his throat to try and stop himself from whimpering. He had been ready to never go back into the Forest again.

"Of course. We've got to find the other werewolves that did this." James said firmly. Over the last week he had been looking up more advanced spells, and practicing them when he could. He wasn't going unprepared this time. Sirius frowned, and then gathered his courage.

"All right, back into the Forbidden Forest then."

[][][][][][]

"I'm getting a weird sense of deja vu. I'd really like to avoid dying for a few months, you know. I'm too pretty to die." Sirius whispered as they walked through the Forbidden Forest, their footsteps crunching in the mix of late fall leaves and early winter snow. This was the third night they had entered the Forest. Ever since Dumbledore had implied that they should seek the answers themselves, James had dragged Sirius out every night after midnight, searching the parts of the Forest they had never been to, looking for werewolves.

"Would you be quiet."

They'd left Peter behind again as an alibi, since they were out after hours and McGonagall might check on them. They'd been caught prowling the castle twice since Remus disappeared, though thankfully never while under the Invisibility Cloak.

James lifted up his lit wand. They were in a different part of the forest than the pathway they'd taken three weeks ago, which they had been very careful not to go near. They didn't know if a couple angry Acromantulas would be waiting, bemoaning their lost meals. Right now they were coming to a kind of clearing, this one less ominous. The sparkle of stars in the clear midnight sky nearly provided enough light without their wands. They paused a moment, trying to get their bearings.

Sirius sat down on a rock, sighing. "I don't know what you are hoping to find. A bunch of crazy humans that might be werewolves? Giant dogs? The werewolves are probably already gone."

"Unlikely." James said, and he sounded so like Remus in that moment that Sirius winced. "I think they live in the woods. Really really far from the castle maybe. Maybe... maybe something drew them out. I don't really know, but I just have this feeling that they are definitely around here somewhere. If it takes us all year to hunt them down, we will."

Sirius nodded, and tilted his head to the side as he heard a crunch. They both jumped and looked around, wands poking through the corners of the clearing. Sirius sighed, lowering his wand slightly. He was starting to lose hope. James had been dogged, even obsessed, but Sirius could only think that maybe the Minister was lying and keeping it from Dumbledore. That Hagrid was right and Remus had already been tried in the Wizengamot. That he was either executed, about to be executed, or perhaps even worse, facing dementors at Azkaban. It was not a cheery set of thoughts, and the dark, desolate feeling that had been plaguing Sirius for the past fourteen days washed over him again as they sat in the clearing.

"_Point me_." James muttered, and his wand spun around to point north. They were heading south-east away from the castle, they were nearly parallel with the lake by now, Sirius guessed. He didn't have the best sense of direction, which was why James was in the lead. Sirius was supposed to be back-up, making sure that nothing was sneaking up behind them.

"God this would be easier if we were Animagus." He commented as James stood in silence, thinking. His friend only nodded and rubbed his temple.

They both jumped up, however, as they heard a thunderous noise. James pointed his wand over his head, and yelled. "_Lumos Maxima_!"

A blast of blue and white light burst through the clearing and made it temporarily bright as day. All around them in the long shadows produced by the trees were tall, dark figures. Both boys held their wands out, and Sirius stood and pressed his back to James'. They were surrounded, and James jumped as an arrow thudded into the ground in front of him, and a gentle clip clop noise came from one of the figures – now recognizable as centaurs – as he stepped forward into the lit portion of the clearing. The man's bow was already strung with another arrow, and it was pointed right at James' chest.

[][][][][][]

"Please, do you have any news to tell me?"

"Ulser cannot tell Mr. Lupin. Ulser has been ordered not to tell." The house elf, a burgundy towel around his waist, set the tray down in front of Remus.

"Not even... not even a little bit?" Remus begged, raising one hand to try and take the elf's hand. The manacle around his wrist clanked against the floor again when Ulser jumped back away from him.

"Ulser cannot tell! They told Ulser not to tell!" The elf said shrilly, and with a crack Remus was left alone again.

The food at least had been quite good, pumpkin juice, warm rolls, tonight roast beef and mashed potatoes and snap peas, and even a small square of chocolate pudding. Remus ate the pudding first with the small spoon that was his only utensil. The deliciousness only marginally made Remus feel better.

McGonagall surely hadn't known that Remus would end up down here when she had taken him to the two Aurors. They had asked him a few questions while she watched, and then Moody had flicked his wand, and the thick manacles he was now wearing had appeared on his wrists and ankles. She had nearly started to duel Moody in her fury at Remus' treatment, when he had told her that it was all right, he would go willingly. He didn't want to start a row between the two adults over something as insignificant as a werewolf. He had been dragged down to the dungeons by Moody and Mr. Filch, who had an evil grin on his face as he had locked the cell door. The stone room was small and windowless, but there was an ambient glow from the stones on the ceiling that was a bit like candlelight, and down the hall of the cell were a few gas lamps which only turned on when Mr. Filch came down to check on him.

Not even Dumbledore had been down. Remus assumed that the Aurors had forbidden anyone from coming down to talk to the Accused. He had started calling himself that really. He was probably guilty.

He had thought about it over and over, seeing as he had absolutely nothing to do all day and all night. He couldn't remember what had happened that night, but the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that he had done it. He had killed that girl, he had mutilated her, and now he was going to pay the price.

When he had finished eating, he shoved the tray over against the bars, and then collapsed onto the small cot in the corner of the room. It was hard, but at least it was warm, and really he had expected much worse treatment. He lay down, adjusting his cuffs so that they were no longer getting in the way. There was only a short chain between them, but he was sure that it was only to degrade him further. Mad-Eye Moody had removed the ones around his feet, but not the ones around his wrists, something about not wanting Remus to get too "twitchy". He didn't think that he liked Moody that much.

He didn't really know how many days had passed, except he had received exactly forty-two meals. Either that meant he had been getting three meals a day for two weeks, or two meals a day for three weeks. He thought that two meals a day was more likely, because he always felt a bit hungry when the "second" meal arrived.

"Mr. Lupin. We need to speak to you." Moody was gazing at him through the bars, and he sat up. The Auror was holding a vial of clear, colorless liquid, and his blue, magical eye was finally still, staring at Remus coldly.

[][][][][][]

"Lower your wands and identify yourselves." Came a gruff, but young voice, from behind the one who was pointing an arrow at them. A pair of black beady eyes gazed at him, and Sirius had no doubt that the first arrow in the ground had been a warning shot.

"I'd rather not, while your friend is still looking at me like that." James said, trying to make himself sound older than thirteen. Sirius snorted behind him, and James elbowed him.

There was a clicking noise, and the centaur in front of him lowered his bow. James immediately responded by lowering his wand, and Sirius behind him did the same. From the circle of centaurs another man strode out, with charcoal grey flanks and grizzled silver hair. James' lumos maxima was now fading, and Sirius lit his wand to enable them to see a bit better.

The one with the bow and arrow backed away respectfully as the grey centaur approached, bowing his head lightly. James straightened up as he was looked over, and the gruff voice spoke again, coming from the grey-haired one in front of him. "You are students from the castle?" He questioned skeptically.

James nodded slowly, his wand now at his side, but Sirius could see his knuckles were white with how hard he was gripping it. "I am James Potter, and this is Sirius Black. We've come to the forest to investigate the death of one of the students on campus."

"You do not look old enough to be investigating anything." The centaur was amused, and James flushed hotly.

"It is _our_ school and we have a right to know what is going on." Sirius now spoke, curtly but politely, remembering their lesson from Kettleburn. He had slowly turned from where he had been standing defensively to face the centaur as well.

"Indeed?" The grizzled centaur reached up to run his fingers through his short but frizzy beard. "You think it wise to tromp through the forest so loudly you disturb everyone and everything in it?"

Sirius flushed now, his lips pressed into a thin line. "We are hunting down the monsters that killed a student. Our friend is being blamed for it." He said. "We would _never_ allow a friend to be imprisoned when we know he is innocent." The words sounded far more mature than those that had ever come from Sirius Black's mouth before, but he meant them, every word.

Now it was his turn to be scrutinized, and the centaur's back hooves shifted on the ground, scuffing the dirt beneath them. "You are loyal and honorable people then. I am Aries. I believe that we were fated to meet on this night. We have seen you in the forest the last several days, wandering. I apologize for nearly attacking you, but we were not sure that you weren't one of those monsters in human guise."

The two boys sighed, relaxing a bit as they stood next to one another. Most of the centaurs vanished back into the forest, and the two humans were left alone in the clearing with five centaurs, including Aries, and the black centaur with dark skin and hair who had finally un-notched the arrow from his bow and slung the weapon back over his shoulder.

"Will you help us then?" Sirius asked, feeling still a bit edgy. Centaurs weren't much safer than giant spiders, but at least they didn't eat humans.

The grey centaur lowered his head in a short nod. "I will tell you the story of what happened that night when your fellow student was attacked, as we and the stars witnessed it."

They both stiffened in a mixture of apprehension and excitement. James thanked the centaur profusely. Aries began to lead them away from the clearing, and back towards the castle. Sirius was grateful for the guidance, and protection, though he said nothing. The three unknown centaurs followed behind, and the black centaur followed just a few feet to the right of the boys and Aries.

"It was the night of the full moon. I and my herd were stargazing, burning Mallowsweet so that we could read the fortunes that were being told to us." Aries began, his hooves making steady clops on the ground, while the boys' feet made far more hushed crunches and shuffles. "The young girl was wandering around the front of the forest. She wasn't going too far back, she knew the danger, I could smell the fear. She was respectful of the forest and its inhabitants. She had stopped in a clearing, underneath the light from Mars, it was a bad omen."

Sirius and James were entirely uninterested in Mars or anything else. But Aries quickly continued sensing the loss of their attentions. "She was practicing something. When from the dark came a howl. A _monstrous_ howl. She grew frightened, and tried to run, but the beast had burst from the forest. He attacked her, and murdered her. It was crude and despicable. Her body was dragged into the forest and left there."

"But why didn't you stop it? Surely you could have... used centaur magic or hit it with arrows or something!" Sirius found himself interrupting, and James jabbed him in the ribs to shut him up as Aries glared down at him.

"'Centaur magic' as _you_ put it, is for divining the future, not for attacking beasts." He said rather coldly. "We do not meddle in the affairs of humans. She was fated to die that day, and so she did die, and we could not stop it."

Sirius grumbled something, but another jab from James made him quiet down, and Aries continued lightly, pretending he hadn't been interrupted. "For the rest of that night, and the next, she lay there in the dark. We saw the spider creatures surrounding her, but they did not touch. Two days later, the human guise of the monster returned, because she had not been found by the half-giant, and dragged her out onto the grounds so she would be discovered."

"Who was it?" Sirius asked excitedly. He heard grumbles from James, something about Sirius' ability – or rather the lack thereof – to keep his mouth shut.

"A man of about thirty earth rotations, with crazed grey hair, dressed in black robes." Aries said curtly.

James and Sirius both jerked, and a great wide grin spread over Sirius' lips. "It wasn't Remus!" They said at the same time, and Sirius gripped James' shoulder tightly in celebration.

They were at the edge of the forest. Aries stopped before they emerged onto the grounds, nodding quietly. "You should go, it will be dawn soon enough."

Sirius and James blinked, looking at them curiously. "You... you aren't coming?" Sirius asked, frowning. "You aren't going to tell them?"

"You have been told the tale. You know the truth. You can share the story with everyone else." Aries said calmly.

"But!" James said, and Sirius interrupted him.

"They aren't going to believe a couple of kids!"

"You said that you were _investigating_ the death." Aries said, as though he had known all along that they were nothing but a few kids who were doing their own research.

"We are! Remus is our friend!" Sirius said, growing angry. The grey centaur glared at them.

"They deserve all the help we can give, Aries." The black centaur spoke up for the first time in the last hour. "The girl was fated to die, but their friend's fate is unknown to us. We can change it."

"Bane, it is not your place to tell the humans tales." Aries said, annoyance creeping into his calm and gruff voice.

"The stars are our guides and guardians, but they are not our dictators." Bane said, frowning at the older centaur. "I will speak to Dumbledore and to the Minister himself if I must, to help your friend. Aries, you yourself said that they are honorable. I will honor their efforts and their friends."

"I think not."

All five centaurs and the two humans turned on the spot, as out from the shadows appeared a grizzled man in long black robes. He was grinning, but it wasn't one of mirth, but rather the grin of a wolf baring its teeth.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: dun dun dun... a cliffhanger. I'm an evil, evil author. xD Since I'm updating about once a day, I think you can forgive me.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Book-Mania-Girl520, freakyprincess-86: _for your reviews! you keep me going, honestly, I can't ever thank you enough for pressing that link!_  
_


	12. Chapter 12: A Ragtag Band of Adventurers

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: The beginning of December, 1973

[][][][][][]

"I did it." Remus said the words dully, his face entirely impassive.

"Tell me exactly what happened that night." Moody said.

They were in the dungeons, but not in the cell that Remus had spent the last three weeks residing in. Rather, they were in Filch's office. The room was dingy and windowless, lit by a single oil lamp dangling from the low ceiling. A faint smell of fried fish lingered about the place. Wooden filing cabinets stood around the walls. They were all labeled with letters, indicating the lists of students. "**Blak and ****Pott****i****Er**" had their own drawer. A highly polished collection of chains and manacles hung on the wall behind Filch's desk. Remus was seated on a small wooden chair, his skinny arms still handcuffed together with the heavy iron manacles, resting in his lap. His feet were free, but he was making no effort to move.

His honey-brown eyes were dazed, and he stared at the wall with the chains, unflinching. Filch was pacing back and forth behind Remus, pressed against the wall and muttering. "This weren't how things was done in my day Miss Penny, in my day they'd have flogged him until he screamed, yes, until he told all his stories... I miss the screaming..." He whispered, and the black cat purred as she sat near the door, dark green eyes watching the scene in front of her.

Moody was leaning on Filch's desk, gazing at Remus. The vial of veritaserum was sitting next to his hand on the desk, it was already empty. Frank Longbottom was sitting in Filch's moth-eaten chair behind the desk, a large piece of parchment in front of him. A quill was suspended over the parchment, and on Frank's mental command it had written several minutes ago:

_December 13__th__, 1973._

_ Interrogation number two. Method: Veritaserum_

_ Accused: Student Remus Lupin; Primary Interrogator: Auror Alastor Moody; Secondary Interrogator: Auror Franklin Longbottom; Witness: Hogwarts Caretaker Argus Filch._

_ AM: Let's start with a few easy questions. What is your name?_

_ RL: Remus John Lupin._

_ AM: And are you, Remus Lupin, a werewolf?_

_ RL: Yes._

_ AM: What is your date of birth?_

_ RL: March 10__th__, 1960._

_ AM: What year are you in school?_

_ RL: Third year._

_ AM: What is your worst subject in school?_

_ RL: Potions._

_ AM: Have you ever broken school rules before?  
RL: Yes._

_ AM: Name one occasion when you broke a school rule._

_ RL: Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and I snuck out of Gryffindor Tower after hours and painted "Severus Snape needs to learn to use shampoo" on the wall that opens onto Slytherin dungeon. We used an Indelible Charm to assure that it wouldn't be removed easily._

_ AF: Took me five days to wash it off! I knew it was you four hooligans._

_ AM: Thank you Filch, but you don't need to speak. I think that's good enough Longbottom, let's start recording. _

_ FL: It's been recording this whole time._

_ AM: Ah, nicely done. Very well, let's move to the harder stuff. Remus Lupin, did you, while in your werewolf form, murder fourth year student Ursula Perch?_

_ RL: I did it._

_ AM: Tell me exactly what happened that night._

Remus' head felt light and airy. Words flowed from his mouth like water from a spout, and it felt perfectly natural to regale Moody and Frank and even Mr. Filch with the story of that night as he remembered it. "I went out to the Whomping Willow at approximately five-thirty pm. It was not yet nightfall. I entered the Shrieking Shack not too long after. Once there, I transformed. I must have gotten free -"

"Must have?" Moody cut him off there, and Remus looked up at him, his eyes wide open and honest. "Why do you say must have?"

"I have no true recollections of what happens while I am in my werewolf form." He said, as though it were perfectly obvious.

"You can't remember anything? _Anything_ at all?"

"Sometimes I remember snippets, but never images. Smells, or sounds that I heard."

"Very well. Continue, and describe to me as _exactly_ as possible your memories of the night."

"I don't remember getting free. I remember tasting blood, but it was my own I think, I had bitten myself. I remember the smell of forest." Remus said, the last sentence hesitating. "I remember wishing I could run. Wishing to be free. The wooden walls around me were stifling, the moonbeam burned me."

"Yes yes. What do you remember next?" Moody said impatiently, and Remus obliged.

"I awoke as a human again, on the floor of the Shack. Unlike most nights, I felt almost comfortable. There was some bruising and soreness, and the large bite on my leg from where I had bitten myself. I could still taste blood and blood was on my mouth and I am not one hundred percent sure it was my own. My feet and hands were sore, because I had been running."

Moody looked at Frank behind him meaningfully. Frank nodded, still controlling the quill, which was scribbling away on the parchment every word that Remus and anyone else in the room said. "I was able to get up and walk back to the castle. Madam Pomfrey met me at the door to the Shrieking Shack. The sun was up."

"Yes, thank you. That will do, Mr. Lupin." Moody said, stopping him. Frank continued writing a few notes at the bottom of the parchment, and Remus relaxed in the chair. Everything would be all right. He had told the _truth_.

[][][][][][]

Things suddenly happened so quickly that Sirius really didn't know what had happened until it had _already_ happened. First, Bane reached for his bow and an arrow, while at the same time the grizzled man in the dark robes had jumped forward. James had put up a Shield Charm at the same time that Bane's first arrow had flown over the man's head. Then the other centaurs were also notching arrows, while three more humans appeared.

These didn't look like ordinary humans. Other than the original grizzled man, they were all dressed in almost nothing at all, scraps of clothing – or in the case of the only woman, a brassiere and shorts that looked like they had been sewn together from some small animal skins, blood still staining them. Their hair was overgrown and unmanageable, the men all had long beards with different amounts of grey, the woman had a streak of white near one temple even though she was quite young. Their hands were curled into claws, untrimmed fingernails like talons. Brown and red stains on their faces and near their mouths were most assuredly blood.

James' Shield Charms had gotten quite good in only three weeks, and the oldest of the strangers, the man in the black robes, laughed wickedly from the other side of the shimmering wall. James kept his wand steady, and Sirius kept his out. The centaurs all had their arrows notched and pointed. Aries had taken several steps back, but Bane remained at the boys' side.

"Is your friend done yet? Has he confessed?" The man said, in a rasping bark of a voice.

"_You_ killed that girl!" Sirius said, actually wishing the shield would fail so he could throttle the man himself.

"I killed her." He didn't agree exactly, just stated the fact.

"Who are you?" James demanded.  
"You young'uns can call me Fenrir Greyback, or alternatively, your murderer!" Greyback attacked the shield. James flinched, and it wavered. Sirius knew only one more good hit would do it. The other humans – probably also werewolves – came closer. They were growling, baring their teeth, more animal than human really. Unlike Remus they had given themselves over to the beast within. Sirius' heart actually hurt for Remus a bit in that moment.

"Why did you do it!" Sirius hissed, trying to think of the worst spell he could perform.

"Lupin... poor little Lupin. One of my children, you know. One of my _precious_ bitten, like the rest of my pack." Greyback motioned to the humans – Sirius had a hard time using that word right now – around him. Greyback's bright blue eyes had wide dark pupils, they stared hungrily at the group of boys and centaurs, just waiting. "Once he's expelled yes, once he's kicked out of school, once they try to send him to Azkaban, we'll get him. I will rescue him, and bring him into the folds, and then the Dark Lord will have another follower. Lupin will forsake the cruel wizarding world and recognize me as his alpha. The Dark Lord will be pleased when I bring another werewolf with a wand to him."

The term Dark Lord meant nothing to Sirius and James, but their lips still curled up in disgust. Greyback let out a cackle and swiped at the Shield Charm. This time it broke. However, the centaurs were releasing their arrows even as James fell backwards. Two thudded into a young boy – he couldn't possibly have been any older than James and Sirius were – and he fell with a scream. James stammered his Shield Charm but it did nothing. Sirius shot a Stunning Spell at the woman that came at him, her dark hair streaming behind her like a curtain as she jumped.

Bane moved in front of James and Sirius to protect them. Aries bounded forward as well, yanking a stone dagger from the belt hung diagonally across his chest and using it to attack Greyback. Two more humans – werewolves – appeared from the forest with war cries. They all used their teeth and nails like animals, except one older man who had a small dagger he used in addition to his "claws". Two of them landed on Aries, including the one with the dagger, who stabbed and stabbed repeatedly while the centaur screamed in pain.

It was utter chaos. It was like moving in slow motion. Sirius and James had never been in actual duels before, and James just seemed to shut down, his brain unable to think of spells. Sirius just used Stunning Spells whenever he got a clear shot, which was difficult because Bane was using his flanks to protect them both from harm, rearing back and kicking out with his front legs. The humans were staying clear of him, but jumping forward every so often, scratching at his hindquarters and chest with their long nails. A horn blew behind them, and Sirius didn't know who blew it, the centaurs or the werewolves.

It seemed to last for days. Sirius' heart was pounding, his vision was swimming. One human got past Bane, and sliced at him, but James finally roared another Shield Charm and Sirius fell back as the werewolf flew backwards, the dark-haired boy's robe cut and his arm beneath it bleeding. Then, suddenly, a dozen centaurs came galloping into the area where the fight was, shooting arrows over the heads of the werewolves. There was another scream as the woman finally fell with three arrows in her chest. Greyback's eyes widened and he scampered back, avoiding the volley.

"It's not over! The Dark Lord is here and even _Hogwarts_ isn't safe!" He shouted as he finally turned and ran. James and Sirius watched as he and the three remaining werewolves who were uninjured ran off into the darkness of the forest. They turned, to see Bane had laid down next to Aries.

James gasped, a shudder traveling through him. Sirius managed to suppress his breathing, but the same shudder tingled down his spine straight to his feet. Aries was cut to ribbons, his broad chest slashed at by sharpened human nails, flesh torn away from his flanks. The stab wounds were most present, covering most of his hindquarters and the dagger was still plunged in his upper chest, either dangerously close to, or in, his heart. He was still breathing though, inhaling great, ragged breaths.

Bane's dark eyes gazed at the man, brushing his hair from his brutalized face in an almost _intimate_ fashion. Sirius suddenly felt as though he were an intruder on a moment between two lovers. James shifted and Sirius knew that he felt the same way. It was several moments before Aries grabbed Bane's hand, and then fell still.

[][][][][][]

"Remus John Lupin. It is by the decree of the Wizengamot and I, Ignacious Yiddles, Minister of Magic, that on this day, the thirteenth of December of the year nineteen-hundred and seventy-three, you are hereby expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In accordance with the Werewolf Regulation Acts of 1642, you have been accused, and found guilty of, murdering a human while in your werewolf form. You will be sent to Azkaban, where you will be imprisoned and kept safe from the rest of humankind, for the rest of your natural life, or until a cure for lycanthropy is found." The Minister read off the parchment floating in the air in front of him. Each word was like a small stab.

Remus' feet had to drag the iron chains. It was dawn now, and Remus gazed out at the sun, knowing this would be one of the last times he got to see it except through bars. He was standing on the grounds outside of the castle, but thankfully no one would be awake to see it. It was still early, students would only just be getting out of bed, none would even be at breakfast. A chilly breeze passed over his face and he closed his eyes, relishing it. The pink sun glimmered on the freshly fallen snow.

Dumbledore was there, next to the carriage that would be taking him away from the castle, far enough that they could Apparate the rest of the way. Moody had a hand on his shoulder, and Frank was talking to Dumbledore in a low hurried voice. The headmaster looked strained, and his eyes kept flickering over to the Forbidden Forest.

Once Ignacio had finished reading the scroll, it rolled itself up and with a small pop it vanished. "Do you understand all that, boy?" He said, his voice a bit kinder.

Remus nodded dully. "Professor..." He said to Dumbledore, who immediately turned to listen. "Please... tell my parents something kind. And my friends, too..." He asked.

The Minister looked ashamed, and Dumbledore strode over to grip Remus' other shoulder, gazing him in the eyes. "Most assuredly, Mr. Lupin. They will _only_ ever think highly of you."

Suddenly the world grew thick and chilled. Remus inhaled shakily, and the air that filled his lungs burned with the coldness. Dumbledore released him, backing away as two tall, black figures glided across the grounds from the direction of the Forest. Remus noted that there were no feet on the ground underneath their cloaks, which hid their faces. The sky seemed to become even darker, and the winter wind which had been refreshing a moment before now cut through his very core. He hadn't been very happy before now, but now he felt a deep, foul depression sink over him.

"Minister, this was entirely unnecessary!" He heard Dumbledore shouting over the sound of wind in his ears. Dumbledore never shouted, he thought subduedly, as two great, rotten hands grabbed each of his shoulders. One dementor had taken each arm, and Remus nearly swooned, letting them drag him towards the carriage.

"_EXPECTO PATRONUM_!" Remus heard the scream as though it had come from a thousand miles away.

The dementors released him, and he collapsed as the heavy iron chains felt like they weighed a thousand pounds each. He looked up even as his head felt like a iron cauldron. A giant silver dog was running around him in circles, and the dementors were floating off, towards the lake, and the Minister had been bowled over, and Dumbledore was shielding his eyes as he gazed out at the Forbidden Forest.

A whole crowd of people were showing up from the Forbidden Forest. It was only a few moments before a pair of small but surprisingly strong arms were wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him close. "Remus?"

"Sirius?" Remus croaked. "You cut it awfully close... you git." His hands fisted in Sirius' robes, and then he fainted outright, the world going black, as Sirius' laugh resounded in his ears.

[][][][][][]

"And you see, Professor, it was this Greyback fellow!" James was explaining things to Dumbledore, along with Bane. Three other centaurs were there as well. Bane was still bleeding, covered in dirt and sweat, and James himself had a scratch on his face and his robes were torn and stained.

Sirius was kneeling next to Remus, and he looked at Moody angrily. "Would you unlock him!" He said loudly. He sounded too much like a Black in that moment he realized. Moody however, merely flicked his wand over at Remus. The manacles around Remus' wrists and ankles vanished, and he suddenly became very light as Sirius dragged the younger boy into his lap. Remus' hair was long and scraggly, and there were huge dark circles under his eyes. Three weeks in the dark had made him even paler than Peter, and Sirius felt even more anger piling up in his gut.

James had finished talking, as did Bane, and Dumbledore was watching the Minister with a bemused expression. Moody and Frank were behind the Minister, but they had strange looks on their faces. "Well Minister. I think that your decree was short-lived."

Ignacio was sputtering with confusion and rage. "Where, where is this Fenrir Greyback?" He demanded.

"He ran off after the attack, like a coward." James hissed.

Sirius was no longer paying attention. Without him even knowing it, he had been stroking Remus' hair from his face gently. He immediately stopped as he had remembered Bane doing the same to Aries.

After Aries' death, Bane had gotten back up, taken the belt that had criss-crossed over Aries' chest, and put it on himself. Sirius wasn't sure if it was because he had obviously cared about Aries, or if the belt had some significance that made Bane the new leader, but everyone had immediately deferred to him as he had told them to take care of Aries while he went out to the castle. He was still wearing the belt, and Sirius noticed – with some confusion – that he kept stroking it lightly in one spot near his stomach, almost absentmindedly.

Madam Pomfrey arrived suddenly, and Remus was being lifted away from Sirius, and he protested, but she got all flustered and said shrilly, "You can come and see him once I'm sure that the _Ministry_ didn't half-kill him!"

Reluctantly Sirius stood, and heard the Aurors now speaking. "I apologize, Pro-I mean Dumbledore." Frank was saying. "All the evidence pointed that way, we had to follow our own conclusions."

One electric, blue eye was staring at Sirius, who slowly made his way over to stand next to James. "That was a fancy bit of spellwork, son, what's yer name?"

"Sirius Black." Sirius puffed his chest out a bit, narrowing his eyes at Moody. "You were about to put one of my best friends in jail."

"Aye. I'm impressed. Nearly getting yourselves killed just for a friend. You've got what it takes, Black. You should consider becoming an Auror. I've never seen a fully spectral Patronus from anyone under N.E.W.T. levels. Your friend Mr. Potter over here too. I think you'd make the department proud." Moody said seriously.

Sirius had never really considered his life outside Hogwarts, but he was immediately struck by the concept of being an Auror. "Yeah well, I'll be a better one than you two." He said in annoyance, and rather than getting angry, Moody laughed raucously and slapped Sirius on the shoulder.

Bane looked at Moody disdainfully as the Minister piped up again. "There's been an official investigation, Dumbledore. You can't just show up with a bunch of... a bunch of _centaurs_..." Bane's front hooves shifted on the ground dangerously, "and expect that everything will just go away."

"Actually, it will." Dumbledore said calmly. "Remus is clearly innocent. I am accepting him back into Hogwarts at this very moment, and considering this Fenrir Greyback to be the felon, Ignacio. You and your Aurors really should be more preoccupied with finding him. If what James said is true – and I know it to be true – then you have far worse things to concern yourself with."

The Minister turned white. "You mean this ridiculous business about the 'Dark Lord'?"

"You know whom it refers to, Ignacio."

He spluttered as Dumbledore looked down at him piercingly. "Yes... yes... very well. Moody, Longbottom, we'd have better be off. Too many things to do." He headed to the carriage and climbed in, along with Moody and Frank, both of whom gave a last grin to Sirius and James before leaving.

Dumbledore turned his attention to his two students now. "All is well. You should collect Mr. Pettigrew and head to the Hospital Wing to see Remus. Oh, and before I forget. For the first – and perhaps last time in your Hogwarts career," his blue eyes were twinkling down at them, "I award each of you fifty points, for not giving up on a friend, and being the best Gryffindors you can be."

Sirius was flushed slightly, but James was grinning happily. "Thank you Professor." They both said in unison, before James grabbed Sirius' arm and they ran off into the castle.

[][][][][][]

Remus felt rather that he was swimming out of a sea of fog. He was in a bed, he realized, and a very comfortable one at that. His eyes fluttered as he tried to open them. Everything was rather fuzzy. The room he was in was white, and very familiar. He was in the Hospital Wing once a month after all.

On either side of him were shapes. He blinked, and they cleared up, and he saw it was his friends. Peter was on his left, slumped over in a seat with his eyes closed. James and Sirius were on a bench on his other side. Sirius was face-down in the mattress, inches from Remus' hand, and James was snoring faintly against Sirius. They were all asleep, or at least he thought they were all asleep, until his fingers inched forward and touched Sirius' thick black hair.

The head flew up, and a pair of grey eyes looked at him almost wildly, before Sirius grinned. "Merlin's pants, you scared me, Moony, thought you were sleeping."

"Dog?" Remus croaked, trying to sit up. His body felt utterly tapped of all energy, just moving his hand back from Sirius felt like it took every ounce of effort he could muster.

"Yeah, that was me." Sirius said, figuring out what Remus was trying to ask.

"'Splains... a lot." Remus said with an amused smirk. "The drooling anyway."

Sirius looked indignant. "I only do that cause I'm happy to see you." He said loftily, and James grunted in his sleep and adjusted himself on his Sirius-shaped pillow.

Remus laughed hollowly, and Madam Pomfrey was suddenly there. She woke up Peter as she moved him aside to fluff Remus' pillows. "Are you in any pain?"

"No, no... just tired..." Remus said, feeling like a small child as James also woke up, and his three friends were suddenly watching him be tended to by Pomfrey.

"Well all right then. You just rest. And if you are feeling up to it, have some chocolate, it will make you feel better after those horrible dementors. Foolish, stupid thing to do. Dementors on a thirteen year old boy!" She walked away, muttering more curses at the Minister and his "silly" Aurors, and James chuckled.

Remus took the chocolate and began nibbling. A feeling of pleasant warmth began spreading from his mouth down to his fingers and his toes, and he was finally able to sit up without feeling like the whole room was some disturbing carnival ride.

"You've been sleeping for _hours_." Peter said.

"McGonagall excused all of us from classes. She's been talking to your teachers too. They'll want you to take some make-up exams, but they all agree that you don't have to do all the homework. Even Kettleburn apparently. Lucky duck." James said, looking annoyed. "Not like we've been bothering with our homework trying to help clear your name and all, but _no_. McGonagall expects us to catch up right away."

Remus dreaded going back to classes. "I'll be so far behind." He said mournfully, licking chocolate from his fingertips.

Sirius snickered. "That's our Moony. Back to normal, eh?"

Remus tried to kick at him, but Pomfrey had tucked him into the bed so securely he could barely move his legs. "Shut up, droolface."

James perked up. "Oh that's right! You did your Patronus. Now you know what animagus you'll be. Stole my thunder though, whipping out a fully-fledged Patronus while all I had was Bane."

"Bane?" Remus asked.

"That centaur. He came and told Dumbledore the whole story. He was cross though, like not really _cross _cross, but I could tell. As we were heading up to the castle, he told Dumbledore that he wouldn't be helping anymore students. That 'meddling in the affairs of humans had had dire consequences in the past', and that he was going to remember those consequences in the future."

Sirius and James looked at each other with something new in their gaze that Remus had never seen before. "Consequences?"

"Cor, Remus. We nearly got killed on your account." Sirius said with a smirk that held no laughter in it.

"We were with the centaurs when Greyback attacked -"

"G-greyback?" Remus said weakly, sinking into the pillows again.

"Yeah, mate. He killed that girl. Wanted to pin it on you so that you'd get expelled, and he was going to break you out of the dementors' hold and get you to join him." Sirius shuddered. "He had a bunch of other people with him... he called them his pack. Anyway, he killed one centaur, wounded a couple others, I'm gonna have a brilliant scar now." Sirius held up his arm which had been sitting on his lap. There was a large white bandage wrapped around his whole forearm. Remus started, and Sirius waved it off. "It's fine, just a scratch. Bane saved our skins, that's for sure."

James nodded. Peter looked mournful. "And I didn't even get to go." He said sadly, as though he would have liked very much to have put himself in mortal danger.

"It's all right, Pete. You were in a ton of danger. What if McGonagall had discovered we were missing? You'd be in so much trouble then, probably more than us and the werewolves!" James said reassuringly. Peter seemed to brighten up at this, and Remus smirked.

"So now that we've overcome great obstacles, we have solidified our friendship, and I think we need a name." James said after a few minutes of silence had passed in the hospital wing, and Remus had eaten another square of chocolate.

"We've got _names_, you dolt." Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.

James jabbed him with an elbow. "I mean a name for our ragtag group of adventurers!"

Sirius chewed on his lower lip in thought. "Actually, that's a good idea."

"The Musketeers?" Remus suggested.

"The what?" James and Sirius both said together.

"Blimey." Remus rolled his eyes this time. "Wizards. Dumas is rolling in his grave."

"Come on, we've got to think of a name... a good name... one fit for a marauding band of pirates!" James said excitedly.

"That's it! The Marauders!" Sirius said gleefully.

"Brilliant!" James said loudly, and Pomfrey stood up and shushed them all quite brutally.

Remus rolled it over in his mind. _Marauders_. It was actually quite a good name, though he liked the Musketeers better. "I like it." He said after a moment.

Peter was bouncing in his chair excitedly. "It's brilliant!" He echoed James' sentiment, but without the volume.

James put his hand to the middle of the four of them. Remus put his hand on top, and then Peter, and then Sirius did as well, his bright eyes glittering. "The Marauders then, and let neither love, life, or death tear us apart!"

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: The conclusion to your cliffhanger. Now we really see the boys growing up. *sniffles* More in third year to come, even if it isn't as exciting as all this was. =)

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_LoverFaery: _For using the word "protagonists" in your review. xD

_Dorothy and freakyprincess-87_: for never failing to perk up my email with another review!


	13. Chapter 13: Firelight Chats

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Christmas, 1973

[][][][][][]

_We are __**young**__._

_ We are __**strong**__._

_ We're not looking for where we belong._

_ We're not __**cool**__._

_ We are __**free**__._

_ And we're running with blood on our knees._

[][][][][][]

Remus yawned. This was the second Saturday in a row he had spent in three different empty classrooms, in order to take make-up exams. His teachers had been exceptionally nice about it, splitting the tests between two different Saturdays so that he'd had enough time to study all the homework and chapters they had given him.

He was, however, quite tired as he trudged back up to Gryffindor Tower. The only good part was that he had passed all the make-up tests with flying colors – even Potions – and was now completely caught up with classes. Just in time for the Christmas holiday in fact. He pushed open the portrait hole and clambered inside, yawning and rotating his neck.

"Moony!" Sirius called. He sat up from where he was sprawled on the sofa. "Blimey, you missed it! James finally got his Patronus right!"

Remus perked up. "What was it?"

"A big... hooved thing... with antlers I think..." Sirius said vaguely, looking at James for confirmation.

"It was a stag." James elaborated. "Male deer, you know." He seemed extremely pleased with himself, and Remus couldn't really blame him.

"Peter still needs to work on his." Sirius added.

"And what have _you_ been working on?"

"Hey, I'm a genius. Moody said I was the youngest person he'd ever seen achieve a fully spectral Patronus. I think that means I deserve to sit around and do nothing for the next two years or so." Sirius said, resting his shoes on the sofa. Remus swatted his legs, and Sirius rolled his eyes but removed his dirty feet from the furniture. Remus brushed the dirt off the red sofa, and then collapsed into it.

"Where is everyone?" Remus commented idly, gazing around the common room, which only had about three people other than them in it.

"Packing for the holiday. That's where Peter is too." Sirius used his thumb to point upstairs.

"Lily was down here when I did my Patronus, do you think she noticed?" James said, a bit of excitement in his tone.

Sirius glared at him. "How would _I_ know?"

Remus laughed. "I'm sure Lily saw, and was impressed by both your manly Patronus and your advanced charm abilities."

James grinned and collapsed into an armchair, putting _his_ feet on the arm of the sofa where Remus was sitting. Remus shoved them off, glaring. Sirius spoke up next, placing his hands behind his head. "So Moony, how'd you do in Transfiguration?"

Remus glanced over and shrugged. "She said I did a great job, then scribbled some notes and let me leave."

"I wonder what Lily's Patronus is." James said faintly. Sirius grabbed a golden pillow from the nearest armchair and chucked it at James' head.

"God I'll be glad when you two go off on holiday and Remus and I can have one bleeding conversation without _Lily Evans_ coming up!"

James didn't even seem to be listening. He was staring at the girl's dormitory door, scratching his chin. Sirius let out a loud, dramatic sigh, sinking further into the plush sofa. Remus stretched out, fishing a book from his bag and flipping it open. Sirius made a noise and got up, leaving for the dormitory.

"What is his deal?" Remus asked lightly.

James smirked. "He's been a touch irritable. Perhaps he's finally hit puberty and is confused about all these new _feelings_, and strange hair in strange places, and wondering if his mother will show him how to use his training bra."

Remus snickered even though he didn't want to. "How come you're going home for the holiday?"

"Mum wants me to spend at least a couple Christmases at home. She invited Sirius, but I think he's still a bit nervous about intruding on our 'happy family time'." James frowned. "Not like he ever goes home for Christmas though."

Remus shrugged. "It's nice over the break. I can get reading done. Well, until Sirius wants to do something 'marauder-y'."

"We're a verb now? Remus, I'm _scandalized_ by the way you fling around grammatical constructs as though they mean nothing." James nearly got a book to the head, but Remus liked this book and so he only shot James a dirty look.

[][][][][][]

"Why is _Evans_ the only thing James ever talks about anymore?" Sirius asked mournfully, gazing at Remus. It was Christmas Eve, and Remus was nearly asleep, laying on his stomach in front of the roaring fire of Gryffindor Tower. _The Three Musketeers_ was open in front of him, but he had read the book so many times that he had nearly memorized the pages, and he merely sighed.

"She's just about the only thing you talk about these days too, Sirius." Remus said boredly, turning the page.

Remus had noticed – perhaps because he now knew what Sirius' Patronus was – that his friend's expressions had become quite dog-like in nature. For instance, while talking about James' new preoccupation with their fellow third year, his face had gotten pouty, like a dog who's favorite toy had been taken away. And when his lips curled back in disgust as Remus spoke, he reminded the werewolf distinctly of a dog who had just tasted something quite horrible, like an earwax-flavored jelly bean.

"What are you giggling about, Remus?" Sirius demanded as the image of a dog eating jelly beans made him let out a chuckle.

"Oh calm down, Sirius." Remus said as he rested his forehead on the cool pages of his book. "James has a little crush. As soon as Lily jinxes him into oblivion, he'll get over it, and he'll be fine."

"Gah! But that's the trouble. One of two things is going to come of this..." Sirius held up two fingers, and then folded one down as he continued. "One, Lily is going to kill him, and then my best friend will be dead and I'll be utterly alone – no offense Moony."

"Offense taken."

"Two," Sirius lowered his second finger, rolling his eyes, "somehow, someway, Lily Evans will fall _madly_ in love with James Potter, and then he will be lost to us forever, and once again, I'll be utterly alone – again, no offense to you or Peter."

"I take offense for both of us." Remus said drearily. "I think you are exaggerating. Just because James has found out he likes girls before you've even considered the possibility doesn't mean-"

"I have _so_ considered the possibility." Sirius said, in a juvenile way that told Remus that his suspicions were correct. "It's not just about girls in general, it's about Evans! Why in the name of Dumbledore's white nose hairs would he pick her of all the people in the world to want to snog?"

Remus suppressed another series of giggles. "I don't know if you noticed, but she's quite cute. And she's starting to get... you know... womanly bits."

Sirius stared at Remus as though the younger boy had grown another head. "'Womanly bits'? Oh please, Moony, _please_, I am begging you, do not _ever_ use the phrase 'womanly bits' ever again. Ever... please."

Remus rolled his eyes and flipped to the next page in his book. Sirius groaned in boredom. "Let's go do something, huh?" He said suddenly, and Remus sighed.

"Like what?"

"Your enthusiasm is catching, Moony. Be careful that you don't get so excited your head explodes right off the top of your head."

"... Like _what, _my best mate in the _whole_ wide world Sirius!"

"Much better. Let's see if Snivellus is staying home for the holidays."

[][][][][][]

"Ah yes, using our fists again, you great _troll_?" The whiny voice forced Sirius to pull his hand back for a second strike, but Remus made a noise behind him, and the dark-haired boy growled low in his throat as he drew back.

"I wouldn't waste magic on you." He spat, and Remus made a clicking noise.

They'd only come to vandalize the area in front of the Slytherin dungeon, when half-way through Remus had jerked back as the wall opened up behind them. Sirius had spun around to see Snape walking out. The first punch had been nothing more than a reaction really, recoil at seeing the greasy-haired Slytherin that he considered his prime enemy.

The punch hadn't broken Severus' nose, or even any teeth, but it had cut the other boy's lip and that was satisfaction enough. "Sirius." Remus' voice had a warning tone in it. Either someone was coming, or Remus just didn't like the violence. Sirius assumed it was the former, and backed away.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" He shot out as they turned to leave. Every muscle in Snape's body stiffened, and Sirius felt himself grin wickedly as the Slytherin fell flat on his face. He glanced over at Remus, who looked more uneasy than anything, and they turned to go.

After they'd made it back to the first floor, Sirius stretched his hands over his head. "That was actually _quite_ satisfying. What should we do next? We could try and break into Ravenclaw Tower and rearrange all the furniture. You can usually answer that question you know."

Remus rolled his eyes. "And if there are Ravenclaws in there? We aren't invisible."

"Oh... right." Sirius shoved his hair from his face. "James should have left the Cloak with us, he doesn't need it." He grumbled and then grinned. "I know how to get the Ravenclaws out."

[][][][][][]

Remus stared at the collection of fifteen dungbombs all strapped together in Sirius' hand. "Are you sure... don't you think fifteen is overkill?"

"No such thing." Sirius knocked very lightly on the eagle that was the opening for Ravenclaw. The bird's mouth opened, but instead of squawking it began to speak.

"_The one who makes it, sells it. The one who buys it, doesn't use it. The one who uses it, doesn't know he is using it_."

Sirius looked at Remus pointedly. His friend's face had already contorted, and his eyes had gotten a bit glassy as he considered the question. The black-haired youth had always figured that Remus belonged in Ravenclaw, and Remus had admitted once he thought he would have ended up there too. But Sirius was now glad that the Sorting Hat had made a mistake just this once.

"Oh, duh." Remus said, poking his forehead. "A coffin."

The eagle didn't answer, but there was a click as the door opened. Remus grinned brightly like he always did when a teacher told him that he had the right answer. Sirius pulled the cord on the dungbombs, and Remus slammed himself against the wall. Sirius very quietly rolled the massive bomb made of bombs into the room, and plugged his nose.

Seconds later there was a BOOM and a cloud of billowing brown smoke exited the doorway. Sirius heard screams from those within, and swearing, and within moments Sirius too was pressed against the wall next to the door while people thundered out of Ravenclaw Tower and ran for the stairs. "Professor Flitwick!" Some of them were shouting, and Sirius flattened himself even harder into the shadows as a Prefect came out, absolute fury on his face.

Finally though, everyone was gone. Remus pulled something from his robes. It was a small vial, and Sirius raised an eyebrow. He hoped that it wasn't a potion Remus had made himself. No offense to the werewolf, but he really was quite hopeless in Potions. Remus uncorked the greenish bottle and splashed it through the doorway. Sirius still had his nose plugged, but Remus was actually sniffing the air.

"It worked." He said triumphantly. "Don't look at me like that Sirius, I've been getting tutored in Potions by Lily and _she_ helped me make it. The Nullifying Potion will get rid of most of the smell."

"Aw, but the smell was going to be the best part." Sirius walked in, and started pointing his wand at things. Soon the blue and silver decor of the common room had been transformed into red and gold, the colors of Gryffindor. All the tables had been piled on top of one another haphazardly, about to fall at any moment. Remus even got into it a bit, and the statue of Rowena Ravenclaw was soon being painted with bright splashes of red and gold. Right on her plinth Sirius wrote in bright red letters "Gryffindors forever!"

Soon enough Remus jerked towards the door though. Sirius took one last look at the refurbished common room, and then followed him out. They made it down to the end of the hallway just in time to duck down behind a suit of armor. Professor Flitwick was hurrying towards the eagle, and knocking hard.

"_What has five hands but is normal?_"

"A person with a watch on." Flitwick said without even thinking, and the door opened. There was obviously still a lingering odor, as Flitwick covered his nose with one tiny hand and walked in, followed by the dozen Ravenclaws.

There were shrieks, and yells, and Remus and Sirius made a run for it, dashing back to Gryffindor Tower as fast as possible. They clambered into the common room sofa quickly. Remus had just barely opened his book up on his lap when the portrait hole opened and McGonagall stepped through. There were about five or six students in the common room, but the professor's face turned directly to Remus and Sirius.

"You two!" She said shrilly. Remus shrank down, but Sirius looked up, wide-eyed and innocent.

"Professor?"

"Mr. Black, are you _aware_ of what just happened in Ravenclaw Tower?"

"Well no, ma'am." Sirius said gently, as though McGonagall wasn't very bright. "You see, I'm in Gryffindor house."

Two spots of color appeared on the woman's face and she stared at them. Remus felt a bit of him shrivel up and die. "And what have you been doing in _Gryffindor_?"

"Well I've been napping until just now, and Remus has been... learning to read upside-down." Sirius said, looking at the book on Remus' lap. Remus swiftly rotated it, managing a weak smile.

"Indeed." She said, gazing down at Remus. Remus was a _good_ student, Remus would tell her the truth.

The younger of the pair smirked. "Some runes can be written upside down to increase their potency, Professor." He said calmly, and Sirius was actually shocked that Remus had pulled that off without fainting.

McGonagall calmed down a bit, but still surveyed them with anger. "And I suppose all the decorations in Ravenclaw Tower just... just turned red and gold all by themselves? And Rowena Ravenclaw decided that her statue would be better decorated with 'Gryffindors forever'?"

The group of students in the common room tittered until McGonagall stared over at them angrily. Sirius blinked. "Perhaps the castle was showing some support for Gryffindor after they'd heard we won the Quidditch Cup this year?" He questioned delicately. There was a soft smirk on their head of house's face now, and Remus relaxed faintly. Sirius leaned back. "I promise you that no one in here would _dream_ of defaming another house's common room."

She eyed them one last time, but Remus was unwavering, and then she sniffed. "Well. I suppose there is no _real_ way to figure out the culprits. I would be more careful, next time, Mr. Black. Dungbombs are your signature, even if Mr. Lupin's potions are improving." She whirled around and left, ducking out of the portrait hole.

The students in the common room began laughing again, and Sirius grinned at Remus. "You actually kept a straight face, Moony, I'm impressed."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Just because I'm not the glutton for drama like you are doesn't mean I can't act. I fooled you guys with that story about my mum for nearly the whole school year."

Sirius laughed, and Remus actually started reading his book this time, a grin on his face.

[][][][][][]

Christmas morning was a blur of activity. Sirius got several extra presents this year from the Potters, and even Remus got a brand new Never-Ending Ink Quill from them, the ink a bright red color that mimicked the Gryffindor ruby tones, perfect for editing his essays. He also got a bunch of candy from his friends. His present from his parents was his very favorite though, a wizarding camera and loads of film and developing tools. Remus smiled gleefully at the camera as he looked at the knobs and dials and fiddled with them. It wasn't a new camera, but it looked only a couple years old and his dad had taken the time to clean it thoroughly, so the silver bits shone that morning as the early sunlight glanced off them. Ever since they had heard the story of Remus nearly getting imprisoned, they'd been sending him letters almost every day and he was diligently writing back once a week. He assumed that this fairly expensive present was their way of apologizing for the incident even if it had nothing to do with them. It was the nicest Christmas present he'd gotten in a long time.

One of his first pictures was of Sirius, half a Honeyduke's chocolate bar shoved into his mouth, crumbs of it already falling down his shirt. Remus didn't want to waste film, so he carefully packed up the camera back in his trunk. Sirius dragged him out onto the grounds along with the other eight students still in Gryffindor Tower, and they spent the afternoon in a raucous snowball fight with Hufflepuff that left them all soaking wet and fighting down the giggles.

That night, Remus and Sirius were both bundled up in blankets in front of the fireplace. Remus had been trying to read, but Sirius had an oddly pensive look on his face that was a bit distracting. After a while, Sirius spoke up.

"Remus. Tell me about when you were bitten."

The other boy froze, his eyes looking up from the pages of his book to stare at Sirius as though his friend had suddenly expressed a desire to put on a frilly gingham frock and dance the can can. "Wha... Sirius?" He asked helplessly,

"Please, Moony?" A pair of baleful grey eyes gazed at him beseechingly, and any more protests Remus had died on his lips, and he sighed, snapping his book shut. He gazed at the fireplace, snuggling into his blankets a bit more as though they were a barrier against unpleasant memories.

"I was... I was little. I don't remember all of it. My mum has filled in a lot of the details that I don't exactly remember, so now I like to pretend I can remember, even if most of it is from my parents and might not be what actually happened." He propped up his chin on one hand, his free fingers toying with a loose string on the quilt in his lap. "I do remember the screaming." He said confidently. "My dad was downstairs, and they were screaming. It wasn't my parents. Two men. One of them was my dad. The other... I don't remember what he looked like back then, except he was scary, and huge. Bigger than my dad, way bigger, towering over him almost, and I remember running half-way down the stairs and Mum screamed at me and ran over, clutching me real close.

"And then... the man looked down at me, and then at my dad, and he smiled only it wasn't a smile at all. And he said something about how he'd come to visit us again, and maybe Dad would change his mind, and he was looking right at me." Remus blinked, shivering a bit and pulling the quilt tighter over his chest. Sirius shifted uncomfortably, but said nothing.

"For the next week Mum didn't let me out of the house at all. I'd been going to a Muggle school, but she didn't let me go. She kept me inside and said that it was just going to be the two of us, while Dad was at work. We made cookies almost every day. She let me eat as many as I wanted, I remember that clearly. I'd never been allowed to just eat cookies, even before dinner. When Dad got home at night she'd send me to my room, and I would sit on the landing and I could hear them fighting, arguing, and Dad kept trying to tell her it was okay.

"I got sick of it one day. My mum mollycoddling me. While she was making dinner that night I snuck out of the house. It was dark, and I was a little afraid, but being stubborn, and I went into the backyard and sat near the stream that we have in the back. There was a snuffling noise in the forest, but I couldn't see anything, and then I heard my mother screaming that she couldn't find me, and she was yelling my name but I ignored her.

"I'm not really aware what happened next. Something big came out of the forest. It was big and _grey_. It jumped on me... I think... I remember hurting a lot, I remember Mum screaming as she ran out into the backyard, and I remember the big thing running away.

"I didn't understand it all until I was nine. My parents finally felt I was old enough to get the whole story. They sat me down. Dad had been working in the Werewolf Regulation Committee at the time. Fenrir Greyback, a well-known and vicious werewolf, had approached him at work at first, trying to get some names off of the Register. My dad had refused, it was against the law to give out that kind of personal information about werewolves, the Register was supposed to be anonymous unless the werewolf committed a crime. Greyback had come back to our house, and my dad had said something horrible to him, something about werewolves being sickening monsters, and Greyback had been angry. And he deliberately came for _me_, the next full moon, and my dad got a letter the next day and all it said was '_Now you have your own sickening monster_'."

Remus had thought that he would end the story there, but more came tumbling from his lips, and soon he was babbling almost incoherently. "And Mum blames Dad, because he should never have gotten Greyback angry, and Dad blames Mum a little bit because she could have kept a firmer eye on me so I wouldn't have gone outside that night, and maybe I wouldn't have been bitten, and we all blame Greyback, for being a sickening monster, and they were so sorry, and I always tell them that it was me, it was my fault, for being a _stupid_ child who didn't want to be stuck to his mummy and went out after dark because I had nothing better to do, and of course I would get bitten if I went wandering around after dark, even if Greyback hadn't been after my dad..."

Sirius attempted to touch his shoulder, but in the mass of blankets he missed and ended up more on Remus' back, and Remus jerked a bit. He had forgotten that Sirius was there at all, and he buried his face in the quilts because he knew that he was crying a little bit. Thirteen year old boys didn't cry, and Sirius was going to make fun of him for it, and Remus hunkered down and waited for Sirius to make a joke, to say something stupid, because it would break the mood and everything would be all right again.

"Moony..." Sirius said, only it wasn't like he'd just _said_ the word. It was like he was saying everything that he could with that one word, all the sympathy, pain, fear, and even anger that he could possibly portray with one little nickname.

Remus nodded awkwardly, not looking at him. "Yeah." He said, knowing what Sirius wanted to say but was unable to. Thirteen year old boys didn't cry, and their fourteen year old mates didn't hold them close and comfort them, but at least Sirius was making an effort.

"Well, at least Dumbledore let you come to school?"

Remus nodded again, managing a smile. "Yeah, my mum and dad wanted to homeschool me. But Dumbledore wrote them a letter and said that he could make special arrangements for me, and there was no reason that I wouldn't be allowed to be in school with the other students. The Shrieking Shack and the Whomping Willow were put there only a year before we came, but they made it seem like it had been a lot longer."

Sirius jumped up and smiled. "Let's go to the kitchen and get some snacks. I bet they've got Christmas cookies." He said happily.

Remus grinned, and slowly extracted himself from his blanket cocoon. Sirius knew exactly how to brighten Remus up, even if he was too emotionally stunted to be able to do it properly.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Yes, those are song lyrics up there at the top, but don't go thinking that _9 years_ is becoming a songfic (no offense to people who write songfics, but they suck). I just liked that chorus and thought it was strangely appropriate for the marauders. I've finally gotten an update schedule going. Barring grave misfortune, you guys should be getting a new chapter about once a day, since I have no life, job, or anything else to keep me from writing. xD This chapter was a bit shorter, but I feel it was a good stepping stone. Only a bit of third year left to go, and then summer vacation.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Tragedy Catalyst, GiggleNo9, freakyprincess-87_: Reviewers really keep me writing, don't ever stop!

_pshhh yeahh_: For feeling neglected, you get your own line. 3


	14. Chapter 14: Levicorpus and Letters

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: 1974, and Summer.

[][][][][][]

"He's a _what_?" Remus asked, sitting down on the sofa in the common room and looking at Peter, who was sitting silently and glowering at the carpet.

"... a rat..." Sirius whispered reluctantly as Peter's face screwed up in anger.

"A RAT." Peter repeated, louder and more angry than Remus had ever seen before. "James is a stag, symbol of power and elegance; Sirius is a dog, loyal and smart and happy, and I'm a _rat_, international symbol of disease and pestilence!"

Remus wasn't quite sure what to say to that, except that he had no idea that Peter even knew the words "elegance", "international", or "pestilence" at all. Ignoring his impulse to congratulate Peter on his widening vocabulary, he grimaced and thought about it.

James had already attempted to comfort Peter a bit about his Patronus, and now he perked up again. "But Pete, you've finally done a fully-fledged Patronus, isn't that amazing? It only took you a couple of months longer than the rest of us."

"A RAT." Peter repeated furiously, and ten heads in the common room all turned to where the four boys were lazing about in their usual spot by the fireplace. Peter flushed scarlet when he realized that people were staring at them, and only lowered his voice a couple of pegs. "Remus is going to _eat_ me the first full moon that we try this on, and then that'll be the end of it!"

Remus winced, and Sirius glared at Peter in annoyance. Peter had a point though. Remus didn't think his werewolf self would see a rat as anything but a snack.

"Pete, you'll have Sirius and I to protect you, we aren't going to let you get killed, besides Remus would never forgive himself you know."

"I wouldn't, Peter." Remus said quickly, trying to also be reassuring.

Peter glared, crossing his arms over his chest. "I won't become a rat." He said firmly.

"But Pete, if you don't become an... if you don't do It with us, then we'll have to leave you here, and go have fantastic Marauder adventures without you, do you want that?" James attempted.

"Rat." Peter said for the tenth time, narrowing his eyes.

"Peter..." Remus spoke up, getting an idea. "You guys will have to get into the Shrieking Shack you know, to let me out."

"Yeah?" Peter agreed sullenly.

"Well, how do you get to the Shrieking Shack?"

"You... go through the Whomping Willow." Peter mumbled, looking vaguely confused, but at least interested to hear what Remus was getting at.

"And, in order to get through the Whomping Willow, you've got to avoid all those branches and hit the knot on the trunk, riiiiight?"

James and Sirius immediately comprehended what Remus was trying to say. Peter still didn't seem to get it, but he nodded in agreement. "Right."

"Well Pete, you're gonna be the only one of us that can do it!" James said excitedly. "Sirius and I are going to be way too big, we'd get beaten into little bloody pulps before we'd ever get to the knot. Someone who was small... and _brave_..."

"Like a rat," Sirius interjected, "would be able to get to the knot."

"We wouldn't be able to do it without you, mate!" James finished, hitting Peter lightly on the back.

Peter had perked up significantly, and he was thinking this over. "Yeah... yeah, you wouldn't be able to get to the secret passage without _me_." He said thoughtfully, grinning a bit.

Remus did not feel the need to point out that the other two boys could use a long stick or levitate something into the knot just as easily, because at least Peter didn't look like he was about to burst anymore. "Yes, see, Peter, you're really quite helpful in a smaller form. Exactly what the Marauders need, a way to sneak around the Whomping Willow."

"Plus!" Sirius suddenly said. "Think of all the investigating you can do! All four of us don't really fit under the cloak anymore, but just think of the pranks we could pull if we had someone really tiny who could sneak around the castle for us while we're in the Cloak?"

"Miss Penny would eat me." Peter said uncertainly.

"No no, we'd distract Miss Penny, while you go do your thing, and we'd become the best pranksters in Hogwarts history!"

Peter mulled this over, and grinned. "You wouldn't be able to do it without me!"

"Absolutely right, Pete." James said reassuringly, though he gave Sirius a glance that Remus knew to be extraordinarily patronizing.

[][][][][][]

Sirius didn't think that Lily Evans' face could get any redder. In fact, it was almost the exact same color as her hair right now, and he suspected that it didn't get much redder than Lily Evans' hair.

Personally Sirius had thought it was a spec of genius. James had come up with the plan in desperation to get the girl's attention, because she hadn't even looked at him since last year, not even when James put a toad down the back of her shirt on her birthday. Sirius wasn't in it for the attention, he just liked the idea of taunting.

It had taken quite a bit of work. Remus had even had to do research, but he had told them straight off that he was against the entire plan, that he thought it was a bad idea, that they were going to get themselves jinxed into oblivion and if they EVER brought his name up in reference to this he would make sure that he never gave them any notes or homework for any class ever again. Sirius felt the threat was a valid one, since Evans was still tutoring Remus in Potions and Remus really needed the help in that class.

The Invisibility Cloak had been a factor as well of course, how else were they going to get to three different hallways an hour before dawn in order to put up all those _glorious_ posters? The hallway in front of Gryffindor Tower, a long hallway in the dungeon by Slughorn's classroom, and the second floor charm's corridor were all covered from floor to ceiling, for about ten yards down the hall, with small posters.

Each of them had a giggling picture of Lily Evans prominently displayed, flipping her hair over her shoulder and beaming. Underneath the photograph was a huge caption in red letters "WHISTLE FOR GINGERS". Sirius himself had put the Sticking Charm on the back. It would take Filch hours to remove them, and even then the Squib probably wouldn't be able to do it without getting a teacher to help them. Sirius was getting better and better at Sticking Charms. His family's house elf had taken a full month that summer to remove the Gryffindor banners from his bedroom. Sirius was already planning on replacing them though.

They had all arrived for Potions just in time to see Lily Evans' divinely red face, and the large group of Slytherins that they shared class with were all laughing and whistling quite loudly. Sirius was grinning, James looked hopeful, and Remus was cringing faintly.

"Lovely picture of you there, Evans." Sirius finally had the courage to say brightly with a smirk.

"YOU!" She shrieked, in a voice that would probably explode a Kneazle's eardrums. Strangely enough, she was actually pointing her wand at James, who was trying to look as innocent as possible. "CRETIN! YOU... YOU ABSOLUTE **BEAST**! _LEVICORPUS_!"

James shouted as he was suddenly lifted up off the floor by his ankle and suspended in the air. His skinny legs were on display as he flailed helplessly, bellowing in anger, and this only made the Slytherins – and now the Gryffindors too – howl with laughter.

Finally Slughorn came out of his classroom, presumably wondering where the devil all his students were and what was the cause of the ruckus. He made a surprised noise, like a "harumph!" and shook his head. "Miss Evans, put Mr. Potter down this instant!" He said, avoiding looking at James, still upside down.

Her face was extraordinarily calm as she flicked her wand back. James dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes with a sickening crunch. Sirius was laughing too hard to help him back onto his feet, so Remus was forced to do so, while Peter gathered up James' books and things that had tumbled to the ground while he had been suspended in the air. Lily whipped past the whole group to follow Slughorn into the Potions classroom, and most of the students followed. Only Severus Snape stayed behind, his face the same color as a well-boiled beet.

"Wotcher, Snivellus?" Sirius said casually, while James adjusted his robes and snatched his glasses away from Peter.

Snape glowered at them from between strands of greasy hair with such fury that Sirius was sure he could feel actual heat from the stare. Defiantly, he straightened up and glared right back, crossing his arms over his chest. The Slytherin opened his mouth to say something, but Slughorn's voice rang out from the classroom. "It is time to begin class, students, either come in or close the door!"

Remus immediately entered the room, and James as well, flushing deep crimson, and then Peter. Sirius and Snape continued to stare at one another with a deep, seething hatred. Finally, Snape growled something under his breath and swept past Sirius to enter the dungeon classroom, and Sirius followed him, nose deliberately stuck in the air haughtily.

[][][][][][]

"Ooooh! That Potter!" Lily slammed her cauldron on the desk, and Remus quickly scooped up his book so that the vial of Nullifying Potion that she knocked over didn't spill its bright green contents all over it. She looked apologetic, and quickly used a cleaning spell, but her eyes still shone with fury. "I'm sorry Remus, but I just don't know _how_ you can stand them!"

Remus looked at her helplessly and shrugged, setting his book back down and flipping through to the Befuddlement Draught that she was helping him complete. He'd _nearly_ gotten it right in class, but Slughorn had still clicked disapprovingly, and Remus had asked her to meet him in one of the spare dungeon rooms. Lily was one of Slughorn's favorite students, so when she said that she was working on something after hours, he had given her a key to the spare classroom, and his spare key to the potions cupboards to get all the ingredients she needed.

"They aren't so bad... when you're one of them anyway." Remus attempted, but Lily didn't look like she was about to be pacified by Remus' words.

"Thinks he's so clever!" She muttered as she started to gather up the ingredients they would need. Remus didn't try and help her, as she was gripping the sneezewort so hard it was becoming crushed. She sneezed a moment later, and realizing what she was doing, she quickly set it down and washed her hands thoroughly. She huffed and then managed a weak smile at Remus

"All right then, here, chop up the sneezewort into very thin slices." She said, and Remus diligently began to work.

As they brewed the potion, Lily seemed to calm down a bit. Remus even got her to chuckle at a joke about Slughorn. By the time that the Befuddlement Draught was complete, they were discussing favorite Muggle authors.

Remus enjoyed talking to Lily. She was bright, smart, and didn't make him feel awkward like Sirius and James sometimes did with their private "telepathic" conversations. She actually let him speak and didn't shoot him down if she was too busy talking about something else. Remus wasn't usually very good with girls. Well, not that he was bad. But he always felt strange talking to girls, like they were judging every single thing that he said or did, and then they would go and tell every detail of the conversation to the other girls, and then the whole castle would know _everything_. But Lily wasn't like that. She made Remus feel more normal than any other girl or boy his age he'd ever hung out with, including Sirius and James – perhaps _especially_ Sirius and James would be more appropriate.

"Oh, and happy birthday, Remus." Lily added as they started to clean up all the ingredients. Remus was gathering up some of the Draught to show to Slughorn tomorrow to try and get some points on the assignment back. "I know it was a week ago, but I never got the chance to tell you. I got you something."

He blinked and accepted the small box that she handed him. Opening it, he saw that it was several bundles of fresh film for his camera. "Wow, thanks, I was almost out."

Since getting his camera, Remus had already gone through one full roll of film, and had just started on the only extra roll his parents had given him. Lily had probably noticed that he had been wearing the camera around the common room – too afraid to take it out of Gryffindor Tower – and had bought him a present accordingly. It was quite amazing, seeing as Remus and Lily only ever talked when they were in the dungeons working on potions, or occasionally greeting each other in the hall when Remus wasn't with his friends.

"No problem. This time, try and take a better picture of me. My nose looked all blotchy in that poster." She said, and her bright green eyes were glittering faintly.

Remus turned scarlet. "I didn't-"

"Oh I know. Black probably took it from you to use. I really don't understand you, Remus Lupin." She said, a strange expression on her face. "But I doubt there's anything really wrong with that."

She leaned over and kissed Remus on the cheek quickly, and then hurried out of the dungeon. Remus stared after her a moment, and tucked the film in his book bag, to give her a good solid head start before he headed in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. He felt as though he had taken a drink of his own Befuddlement Draught, and the only thought running through his head was "_James will kill me if he finds out_." On the other hand, Sirius would probably congratulate him. But it wasn't like it was a _real_ kiss. She was just... giving him a friendly peck on the cheek. Nothing wrong with that, nothing untoward or inappropriate. Yeah, just a friendly peck on the cheek after helping him in Potions. He nodded to himself and managed to walk right through the Grey Lady, who left him spluttering and shivering in the middle of the hallway.

[][][][][][]

Ever since Lily had hoisted James up by his ankle, an epidemic of levitation ran like wildfire through the halls at Hogwarts. At first Prefects and the Head Boy and Girl attempted to keep the pranks and taunts in check, but after Kalinda – now a sixth year Prefect – had used Levicorpus in order to stop someone _else's_ Levicorpus, it was like the dam had broken.

Sirius and James used it whenever possible, halfway because they thought it was brilliant, and halfway because they knew that if they didn't use it first, someone was going to use it on them. Peter ended up levitated about twice a week as exams approached, and only by locking himself in the far corner of the library did Remus manage to claw his way into May with only one levitation to his name, done by James himself no less after Remus had thrown a shoe at him.

Remus was cowering in the library. Madam Pince would surely protect him from the rampaging students – mostly fifth years and seventh years who were lashing out after cramming for O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s. Peter was even there, and Remus was trying to help him study for Transfiguration, which Remus was worried about and Peter was an absolute hopeless case in.

James burst into the library. Madam Pince glared at him with such ferocity that Remus actually heard him whimper, and he shrunk down a few inches as he slowly and quietly made his way over to Remus' table. Sirius was right behind him, having entered the library with far more decorum. They slumped into seats and James barely kept from bursting into laughter. Peter and Remus both looked at them with expressions of mingled curiosity and fury.

"You should have seen it! _Sixth_ year Slytherins... three of them," Sirius whispered hastily, peering around for Madam Pince, "they converged on us right? And James... James is a genius! He hit one of them with a Body-Bind Jinx so fast they could barely move, and then we both levitated the other two, one of them was a girl, and her skirt flew straight up..." Sirius could barely breathe he was trying to keep from laughing so hard.

"If you don't shut up," Remus commented mildly as he went back to reading his Transfiguration text, "Madam Pince will use your head as a spike near the doorway to warn other children of the consequences of entering her library."

Sirius only lowered his voice and continued talking excitedly to James. Remus deliberately ignored him, but couldn't help hearing the words "Evans' underwear" and "Potions class" in the same sentence. He let out a small groan, and his face fell forward onto the book. Peter looked at him regretfully. "Remus, is that vein in your forehead going to explode?"

"One can only hope, Peter."

[][][][][][]

"You'll write letters, won't you?" James said in disappointment. His parents were currently hugging Sirius and helping him with his trunks, and Remus had come over from where his mother and father were standing and looking nervous to say good-bye.

Remus smiled. "Of course, I'll write letters. You two probably won't be writing any letters, too busy having fun."

"I still don't know why you can't come."

"Money, I told you." Remus said nervously.

"Hell, Moony, I can pay for your ticket-"

"I don't want you to." Remus said hotly. James rolled his eyes. "Besides... we might be going on vacation... it could be fun."

"If by fun you mean 'completely the opposite of fun'." Sirius had arrived now.

All three of them glanced over, to see Peter being squashed against his mother's sizable chest. She was sobbing things like "My little Petey-pie!" and smothering him, and he had turned red as a tomato, not looking around. Remus couldn't blame him. Half the platform was staring at him, laughing or pointing.

"I don't think Pete will be visiting either. It's completely unfair you know." Sirius said with a huff. "Auntie said it was totally fine for you to come visit."

"Drop it." Remus said curtly, then flushing as Sirius got that expression like a kicked puppy. "It's just.. I'll come next year. Promise." He said weakly.

Sirius punched him in the arm, and smirked. "All right fine. But you'd better still send letters."

"Yes, yes. If you two can be bothered to pick up a quill." Remus said loftily.

"Remus!" His mother called, looking peaky. He grimaced, and looked at his friends helplessly.

"I've got to go. Have a great summer." He picked up the camera laying on his chest, and James and Sirius immediately squashed together so that he could take one last picture of them before he ran off to join his parents.

**ooo**

_Dear S. Black,_

_ Well, it was just as I feared. You and James have frolicked among the trees, and probably flown broomsticks, and perhaps have inhaled deep the air of summer, and have promptly forgot your dear little Moony who is trapped in the house with his parents. Indeed, I can imagine you are now fighting over the spot in front of the fireplace while Mrs. Potter cooks something delicious for Sunday supper. I, on the other hand, am eating a sandwich made by myself. Mother has been doing laundry all day and Does Not Want To Be Disturbed._

_If indeed you have not forgotten that I exist, a letter would certainly remove my gloom._

_Your mate,_

_R.J.L._

**ooo**

_Moony_

_ Blimey, got your letter and couldn't remember who this Moony person was at all. James had to set me right, the kind soul that he is. _

_ Indeed, brooms and bicycles and all sorts of __delirious__ adventures have been had by the two lonely pathetic Marauders. Just isn't the same without you trying to read books and Peter acting all excited. Only two more months left until school though, which I am sure you are VERY PLEASED ABOUT._

_ Haven't the time for a long letter, Auntie has made the most amazing steak and kidney pie and the smells are making me drool. (You'd like to make a comment here about how drooling isn't an out-of-the-ordinary occurrence, wouldn't you?)_

_~ S.O.B._

**ooo**

_Monsieur Black,_

_Your ignorance cuts deeply into my very soul. Also the lack of steak and kidney pie is cutting into my soul. It's not that difficult to cut my soul it seems. Mother did make Salad for dinner tonight, after proclaiming that my father needed to lose some weight. I, a Growing Boy, was permitted to have chicken on my salad, but I'll admit to you that it was one of the least filling meals I've ever had. Thankfully the supply of Honeyduke's you left me with at the end of the year should be enough to last me through two more Healthy Meals. (Do send more should you find yourself with dispensable income to buy sustenance for your lonely marauding friend.)_

_I have actually managed to read __ten__ books in the last month. Real books, not textbooks thankyouverymuch. I have never finished a book before without someone throwing a dungbomb into my lap or sticking their fungified toes in my face, or otherwise finding a way to distract me from Reading. (Yes, your toes did have fungus, do not argue with me, Sirius Of-The-Most-Noble-And-Ancient-House-Of-Black. You should change your name to Sirius Of-The-Most-Stinky-And-Air-Poisoning-Black-Toes)._

_I was not of course referring to your family in any way there, so do not get cross._

_R.J.L._

_a.k.a._

_Moony Of-The-Most-Noble-And-Pre-Pubescent-Marauders_

**ooo**

_Moony_

_James and I have pooled our innumerable charms and resources together (by which I mean we begged Auntie and Charlie) and have gone on a rampage at the local candy shop. It is a Muggle store, but we have procured for you all manner of delicious candies and chocolates so that your Healthy Meals can be completed with an assortment of fine flavors. You owe us big time._

_I am not offended by the accusation of my toes, for those were inherited from my dear mother, loathe as she were to allow her feet to touch a basin of soap and water. I am however, offended that you have managed to read books. Oh Moony, when will you ever learn. Speaking of reading books, once you finish the summer reading, do write to us and tell us which ones were boring (all of them) and which ones that we should remember to read (none of them)._

_~ S.O.B._

**ooo**

_Droolface,_

_I completed the summer reading in my first week back home. Dad is working pretty much overtime and Mum has this habit of giving me the stare of The McGonagall (I don't know where women go to learn these stares and things, do you think there is a class we can take?) and so I have been finding myself Outside, unaccustomed as I am to this great fiery ball of gas that apparently most humans refer to as the Sun. I am freckling again. I'm sure you find that amusing. Stop giggling._

_As you said, you will not finish the summer reading anyway so why should I even share? For your information there was a bit about a war, but it was a goblin war and I do not think you would find it quite as interesting as I did. So before I waste my time writing a full summary, I shall simply say that you wouldn't read any of the books anyway._

_Your candy was met with much delight. Your poor owl was nearly apoplectic when he dropped it onto my bed, the bag nearly weight ten pounds! I gave him a Sugar Quill to recover and I've never seen an owl fly so fast around my head. In any case you might want to see if you can let him rest for a while when he returns._

_Oh, and do send more of those Nougat bars. My tongue is practically humming, and they are all gone already. A travesty._

_Sincerely,_

_R.J.L._

**ooo**

_Freckleface,_

_I find it unendingly amusing that you freckle, but I do not Giggle. I chuckle, and in a very manly way at that. We have cleared the shop of every single nougat bar that could be found, and have sent them along. Yves was most displeased to find us strapping yet another package to his legs, but he went willingly enough. If he dies on the way and the package is lost, I apologize greatly for the loss of nougat. Also you will have to write a letter to Auntie about how it was your fault that we killed her favorite owl. (The Potters have four owls, and Yves is the largest, so that is why we chose him for sugary deliveries.)_

_I am __offended__ (not really) that you would claim that I would never read the summer reading. I'll have you know that just this morning I read over all the titles. Having accomplished my goal for the summer, I shall now go lay on my back in the grass and become a bronzed Olympian. You can sit with your freckles and read._

_~S.O.B._

_P.S. Why did you never tell me of the fantastic Muggle Contraption known as the Motorbike?_

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Just a few drabbles about the end of third year, and summer vacation. The letters were just a fun little way to pass the summer without doing too much writing, so I hope you enjoyed them as much as I enjoyed writing them. Next chapter will delve into the deep mysteries of 4th year. =3

As a side note, I just uploaded a very angsty fic called Aftermath, which is basically what happens once Remus gets back to Grimmauld Place after the Battle at the Department of Mysteries. It's somewhat of a companion piece to this, but basically just a oneshot. It is SERIOUSLY angsty so if you aren't into that sort of thing don't read it, but it does have Remus/Tonks and that's kind of cute. =)

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh_: You guys seriously review every single chapter. I think I love you. In a non-creepy way. Really.


	15. Chapter 15: Quidditch and Young Love

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: September 1974.

[][][][][][]

Sirius sometimes hated Remus. It wasn't a real hatred. Not like he hated Snivellus. But still, there was something about Remus that sometimes made Sirius feel annoyance bloom through his gut like that one time he had eaten the meal that Peter had cooked for them. That night had been one of burning and regret, just like the annoyance.

It was the sheer maturity of Remus Lupin. He was always a grown-up. Sirius sometimes felt that Remus was rather like Athena, and he had sprung fully-grown from his father's head. However, he knew that there were much more reasonable explanations for his adult-ness, that patronizing expression, that disapproving stare, and the awkward way that Remus held himself, like he didn't quite know how to be a boy. Like he had once read a book about boys, but putting the ideas into practice was proving more difficult than he had anticipated.

James and Sirius carried their bodies with certain gait. Despite the fact that James had shot up two inches over the summer and Sirius had gotten both tanned and ever-so-slightly more muscled, they seemed to be aware of their bodies, and felt totally at ease with everything. Remus on the other hand, hid in over-sized jumpers from his dad and hunched his shoulders over, and when he was forced to move quickly it was all elbows and knees and a forced gracefulness.

The moment that Remus had met them on the train, Sirius had noticed that he seemed more mature than ever. Coming from Sirius Black, this was _not_ a compliment. Remus slumped into the first empty compartment they could find, and stared out the window at the waving groups of parents. Remus had come alone to the station. Sirius wondered at this, because Remus' mother so rarely allowed her "baby boy" out of her sight.

"Moony, you look a sight." James commented.

They all knew the reason why. The full moon had been only two days ago, and Remus was always like this after the moon. He moved as though his lithe boy/teenager body weighed a thousand pounds, and his skin looked like it had been washed and then rung out too tightly and now it was two sizes too big. No fourteen year old should have bags under their eyes, or jowls, but Remus did that day. Sirius stared a moment and thought he saw a strand of grey sprouting from the top of the sandy-brown hair. Too grown-up, too mature. Sirius hated it.

Remus didn't speak, gazing at the window. Sirius piped up, attempting to break the silence. "Where's your mum?"

The werewolf winced at that, and looked at Sirius with a look that said he would have really preferred Sirius not ask that question. Sirius also felt he shouldn't have asked it. "She and Dad had a row." Remus eventually said, as the train finally started moving. "And I ended up having to come alone."

Sirius wanted to know the circumstances, but when it came to Remus Lupin some things were better left unsaid. Remus was the keeper of secrets, the guardian of hundreds of doors behind which sat thousands of truths and lies. Remus knew how to keep them all organized. Sirius had a feeling that Remus had been keeping secrets since he was a very small boy, before Sirius had even been aware of his surroundings.

"How was your summer?" Peter asked. He didn't specify a person, and either that meant that he was speaking to James – because he really only ever spoke to James – or that he was speaking to everyone.

James seemed relieved to talk about something normal. "It was great. Sirius and I spent the whole summer in the Hollow. You guys really should have been able to come."

Yes, Remus should have been there. Sirius frowned very slightly, before returning to his usual grin. But Remus would never come unless he could come of his own will, his own money. He would never let James and Sirius pay for even a simple train ticket out there. Poor Remus – in more ways than one, Sirius thought, inwardly chuckling at his pun – with so much pride that he would even deprive himself of the company of friends because he couldn't afford it.

"Mum was a berk." Peter said mournfully. He had gotten a tad chubbier, but his round face was starting to have some kind of jaw. As the oldest of the four of them he didn't really seem it, even now that his fifteenth year was approaching, he still had the round cheeks and wispy hair of childhood. It was a throwback to his nature. And, Sirius supposed, the nature of the rat. "I hardly ever got to leave the house. I swear she's barking mad."

"Well, Pete, we already knew that." James offered helpfully, and Peter shot him a look. The bespectacled boy raised his hands to show he meant no harm, chuckling. "I just meant that your mum is... well, she's worried about you, that's all. Her little Petey-pie."

Sirius and James cracked up over this, and even Remus smiled a bit, though looking like it took all the energy in the world to lift up that one corner of his mouth.

As the train ride continued, Remus had pulled his robe off and used it as a blanket. While James and Sirius began discussions of the year's Plans, Remus pressed his cheek against the window of the train compartment and promptly fell asleep. When Sirius looked over a while later, all he could see was a messy mop of light brown hair and a pair of tightly closed eyes over the top of the black robe. Remus' wrist was resting in his lap, and Sirius noted three long angry gashes, barely healed, still pink, around his hand, and two puncture wounds that could only be from a set of very large teeth. He felt a sick thud in the pit of his stomach as he contemplated that. The wolf had probably tried to gnaw and scratch its way out of the chains that Remus had once said he locked himself up in while at home.

"Sirius." James said, and Sirius was distinctly aware of the fact that it wasn't the first time that his friend had said his name while trying to get his attention in the past couple of minutes. "What are we going to do about... _you know_."

Sirius and James had decided over the summer that they were going to keep the subject of It (James, Peter, and Sirius all becoming Animagi) from Remus. They had mentioned it, and had learned Patronuses last year, but Sirius didn't think that Remus had ever actually taken them seriously. In order not to get Remus' hopes up, and not to get their _own_ hopes up, he and James had agreed that it would just be better to try and do it without Remus finding out. Remus was likely to find out eventually, and without his superior researching skills they might never achieve it, but James had figured that Remus had enough to worry about. Knowing that your best mates were attempting something that could drive them mad, or dead, or into animal forms for life, or any combination thereof, could be an added stressor that the werewolf really didn't need.

"Well I think Remus is still tutoring with She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Sirius said lightly. James glared at him. The nickname was of course for Lily Evans, who Sirius refused to talk about. James only ended up getting all swoony and then started babbling about her and her hair and her "womanly bits" as Remus had put it so well last year. "We can doing library things while he's canoodling."

James turned an odd shade of puce. "Remus isn't canoodling with Evans!" He spluttered, and Remus shifted slightly. James instantly dropped his voice. "Lily wouldn't... you don't think Lily would?"

Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes. "I don't give a flying Doxy fart if 'Lily wouldn't' or 'Lily would'."

James fell back in the seat, rubbing his chin. He'd picked up that habit over the last few months, and Sirius couldn't help but roll his eyes a second time. "You aren't growing any hair, James, and if you don't stop rubbing, you never will!"

James grunted and shot out a fist to punch him, but Sirius ducked out of the way swiftly and grinned. There, back to normal.

[][][][][][]

The whistle blew, and James slowly drifted down to land in front of Madam Hooch. Sirius took another minute, and she gazed at him suspiciously. The moment that James Potter and Sirius Black had arrived for Quidditch try-outs, the grey-haired teacher had put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow.

"There are no pranks in Quidditch!" She had said angrily. James and Sirius had nodded in agreement. She had gazed at them a moment, and then shrugged one shoulder, unable to actually prevent them from trying out.

Unfortunately for her, James and Sirius were brilliant on brooms. James had been flying since nearly before he could walk, and Sirius had picked up the skill almost immediately once he had started hanging out with James over the summer. Flying brooms was pretty much the only magical thing that underage students could do, so they did it quite often.

"Potter, what are you flying?" Hooch demanded as she looked at him.

"Nimbus 1300, newest model." James said quite proudly, presenting the broom to her. She raised her eyebrows and looked at it approvingly. Once they had heard James wanted to try out for Quidditch this year, his parents had bought him a brand new broom almost on the spot. Sirius had taken his old Nimbus 1001, because he couldn't exactly ask _his_ parents to buy him a broom, and it was miles ahead of the Comets that the school was still using for Flying class in any case.

"All right, everyone off the field except those trying out for Chaser!" Hooch said, before blowing the whistle once again. Sirius sat down on the nearby bench next to Remus and Peter, who had come out to support their friends, because Remus wouldn't get on a broom without being forced, and Peter just had no sense of coordination.

"I thought you were quite brilliant." Remus commented, not even looking up from _Magical Hieroglyphs and Logograms_.

"You haven't even been watching this whole time." Sirius said accusingly. "You're studying for a class you aren't even taking!"

Remus snapped the book shut and yawned, rolling his eyes. "I'm studying for the O.W.L. Professor Eckzahn said that the few essays I've let him look at were very good, and I could get the O.W.L. and then maybe the N.E.W.T. if I'm that interested in it. Getting eleven O.W.L.s would be quite spectacular you know. Well ten anyway. Merlin knows I won't be getting the Potions O.W.L."

Sirius huffed. "O.W.L.s aren't for another whole year!"

"Never too early to prepare." Next to the two boys, Peter jumped up and cheered as James scored his fifth goal in as many minutes.

"He's doing quite well." Remus commented as he turned his gaze on James, clapping along with the few people in the crowd.

"Yeah, no doubt he'll get on the team." Sirius stood back up as the whistle sounded, and James landed, a grin on his face. "Brilliant Jamesy!" The darker-haired boy jumped up to give James that awkward one-armed hug that all teenage boys seemed to do instinctively.

"Cor, Alice is a ruddy good Keeper, isn't she?" James said, wiping the sweat from his forehead. The whistle blew again, and Hooch announced that all Beaters were to take to the field. She had one foot pushing down on a shaking trunk. Sirius grinned.

"That's me! See you on the team, Potter!" Sirius mounted and shoved off, and Remus rolled his eyes and opened up his book again as James collapsed next to him.

[][][][][][]

Less than a week later, Remus was dragged out onto the grounds by Peter, who insisted that they go see the first Quidditch practice. After all, with James as Chaser and Sirius as one of the Beaters, they really had no excuse to stay in the common room. Remus brought all his homework with him, sitting in the Gryffindor stands. While Peter leaned dangerously over the railing and waved frantically every time James or Sirius flew by, Remus filled out his Arithmancy number charts, occasionally peering up whenever the whistle blew.

Remus had never been able to get into Quidditch like most other wizards. His mother being both a Muggle and uninterested in sports, and his father being too busy at work all the time, they'd never really showed any inclination. They'd occasionally listened on the wireless to a few games, and Remus had read _Quidditch Through the Ages_ so he knew the entire history of the game, and all the rules and fouls. Of course reading a book on the sport and then trying to watch it with interest was a difficult transition.

When practice was over Peter ran down from the stands. Remus collected all his papers and books and packed them all in his bag before jogging to catch up. He arrived just in time to see James and Sirius laughing at something that Kingsley Shacklebolt was saying, the other Beater and a seventh year. Kingsley clapped James on the shoulder, and Remus rather thought that James was going to collapse outright, but the much skinnier and less muscled fourteen year old managed to stay standing, although he turned quite white.

Alice Reed* was chatting with Madam Hooch, who was struggling to strap down the Bludgers back into their trunk. She too was a seventh year, and the Keeper. Remus didn't know how she did it, Alice was one of the best students in the seventh year, she'd gotten ten O.W.L.s and was likely to get ten N.E.W.T.s as well. Ten classes plus Quidditch practice would have driven Remus insane, he was barely able to keep up with all his classes plus do the occasional Ancient Runes extracurricular assignment.

Then again, she was probably one of those people like James or Sirius. For certain students, magic just came so easily. The Slytherins would have liked to say that it was because they were Purebloods, but really it was logical. If you grew up in a Pureblood household, you simply were exposed to a plethora of magic. You already knew spells and things when you arrived to Hogwarts, and you understood how the wizarding world worked. For most of Remus' childhood, magic was something his father used, but that his mother seemed unsure of. She didn't hate magic, surely, but she wasn't all that keen on its use, especially since they lived in a Muggle village. James' parents used magic on everything, even to turn the lights on and off, and Sirius' parents – presumably since Remus had never officially met them – used magical devices, plus house elves. It didn't have anything to do with Purebloods or halfbloods or even – though Remus never _ever_ used the word – "Mudbloods". It was the simple fact that children who got flying brooms for their third birthdays as opposed to tricycles were just more likely to arrive at a school like Hogwarts and not be completely overwhelmed. It was no wonder Lily Evans was so high-strung.

"Remus, did you see that goal I made? Even Alice thought it was brill." James said excitedly. Remus nodded, but was trying not to speak because that would require inhaling. James and Sirius – and Kingsley too, who was walking beside them – didn't exactly smell fresh as daisies.

"I think we've got a good chance at winning the cup this year." Kingsley said, and his voice was strangely deep and comforting for a seventeen year old.

Remus and Peter waited outside the locker room, "Quidditch players only you know," while James and Sirius showered and changed back into their school robes. James emerged with his usually messy hair sticking out in all directions, and Sirius appeared a moment later, a towel still around his neck.

"Well that's much better." Remus commented lightly as they all trudged back up to the castle. "But if you are going to keep your gear in the dormitory," he pointed to the bags that each of them were carrying, which smelled distinctly of dying cats, "I'm going to have to kill you both in your sleep."

"Ah, that's our Moony. Barely a month into the new school year and already threatening to smother us." Sirius draped an arm over Remus' shoulders and grinned at him.

Remus mumbled something under his breath, but smirked that crooked little smile of his.

[][][][][][]

"Potter! Black!" The shrill, dulcet tones of McGonagall were like music to Sirius' ears. He and James whirled, and fluttered their eyelashes at almost the same time, their wands hidden behind their backs. Their teacher paused, gazing down through her spectacles at them, and raised an eyebrow. "What were you doing just now?"

"Professor, I trust you had a pleasant summer?"

"My summer was fine, and distinctly prank-free, Mr. Black." She said coldly, and Sirius smiled sheepishly. "I had hoped to make it to Halloween without giving the two of you detention, but alas..."

"We were only practicing our Transfiguration, Professor." James said brightly.

She motioned for them to move, and they parted like two halves of a curtain to reveal a small white ferret frozen in the middle of the floor. "And... what... or _who_, pray tell, did this used to be?"

The two boys on either side of her flushed, and she glared at them. James finally mumbled reluctantly, "2nd year Slytherin Barty Crouch*..."

The teacher brought her wand up and flicked it at the animal, who quickly morphed back into human form, his nose still twitching, eyes wide. "Mr. Crouch, you may leave." She said, and the Slytherin sprinted off down the corridor. Now McGonagall rounded on her two best/_worst_ students.

"While I am always impressed with your Transfiguration skills, Messieurs Black and Potter," She said in a high-pitched voice, those two dots of color appearing high on her cheeks, "it was exceedingly cruel to turn a fellow student into an animal for your own amusement."

"Professor! It wasn't for our own amusement, promise!" Sirius said, using his wand to make an X over his heart. "It was for honor!"

"Bravery!" James cut in.

"And the Gryffindor way!" Sirius finished with a flourish, which made his wand shoot out red and gold sparks.

McGonagall stiffened, her eyes becoming even more piercing. "Be that as it _may_, Mr. Black, performing magic on other students is simply not permitted!" She sniffed and glanced at the window. "Fifty points from Gryffindor. If it weren't for the fact that Madam Hooch thinks the Gryffindor team is the best it has been in thirty years, you can rest assured I would have given you detention and kept you from playing in the game against Ravenclaw this Saturday." She looked back at them, brow furrowed so deeply it nearly looked like she had a unibrow. Sirius' attempt at keeping a straight face was extraordinarily adept. He deserved a medal. "If Gryffindor does not win this Saturday's game, however, you _will_ spend the next evening in the dungeons with Professor Slughorn, who expressed a keen desire for some students to help him relabel all the elixirs in the Potions classroom."

With that said, she whirled on her heel and went off down the hall. Sirius blinked. "Did she just tell us that if we lose the match, we'll get detention?"

"In so many words... but think of it instead as if we win, we _don't_ get detention." James waggled his eyebrows, and threw an arm around Sirius. "Sounds like a fair trade to me!"

[][][][][][]

"**Potter**!" The squeal of rage was eerily similar to McGonagall, and James jerked his head up from his _Playbook of 20__th__ Century Quidditch Moves_, expecting to see a stern face peering at him over a pair of spectacles.

Instead he saw a blur of red, and two flashing green eyes staring down at him. He stiffened immediately, leaning back as Lily Evans slammed both her hands on the table and leaned towards him, glaring with such ferocity that James suspected she was trying to perform the Cruciatus Curse on him without having to bother picking up her wand.

"Er... Yes, Evans?" He said politely, pulling his book back from her steely gaze as well and flashing her what he hoped was a charming grin.

She flushed, and pulled back, folding her arms across her chest. It was a chest – James had recently noticed without being able to help himself – which had gotten larger over the summer. He gazed at her freckled arms for a moment, before he heard her exhale forcefully through her nose and his face jerked back up to hers again. "What did you do?"

"Do?" James repeated, realizing how stupid that sounded. If this _was_ McGonagall, then he would have been able to think of something much more clever.

She made a noise almost like a growl, and James swallowed, leaning back just a bit further in his chair. She yanked a book from her shoulder bag, and opened it to the first page, slamming it down on the table and sliding it over so that James could see what was written on the title page. Most of the Gryffindor common room was now staring over at them, and James adjusted his glasses very quietly before leaning forward to read the handwriting out loud.

"'Lily Evans, will you go out with me?'" He read, and then looked up at her. "Oh, that."

"'_Oh that_'?" Lily raised her voice, and a giggle went through the common room. "You _wrote_ in my Transfiguration book! You ask me on a... on a _date_, and then you say 'Oh that'?"

"Is that a yes or a no?" James cut in, tilting his head to the side.

She inhaled very slowly, and seemed to grow two more inches as she towered over him. "_You_, James Potter, are an arrogant... an arrogant toe-rag, and if you think I would EVER go out with you, you are a toe-rag who needs to have his head examined!"

With that, she turned, and with a whirl of scarlet hair and black robes she stormed off, up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. He settled back into his seat and looked at the stairs mournfully. The common room was still chuckling, but some were clicking their tongues, and James distinctly heard someone say "Witches, can't live with them... well, can't live with them!"

[][][][][][]

"Cheer up James, you didn't lose by that much, if you ignore the Ravenclaws catching the snitch. You did a wonderful job." Remus said consolingly, as his two best friends slid into the sofa in front of the fireplace that they had once again claimed as theirs. "It was raining so hard I'm surprised anyone caught the snitch at all you know."

"I am a useless lump... a pimple on the name of Gryffindor forever..." James moaned, sliding down the cushion as though all the bones in his body had been removed. "At least Sirius knocked their Chaser right off her broom."

Sirius grunted. "Bit of luck, that's all, mate." He said, patting James on the head. James by this point had slumped onto the floor because he had slid down so far, and was too downtrodden to get back up. "Just too bad about that detention tomorrow."

The whole common room was subdued, though Kingsley and Alice were in the corner arguing furiously about moves. They had a miniature Quidditch pitch in front of them, with little red sticks to represent the Gryffindors and little blue sticks to represent the Ravenclaws, each flying around in formations that Remus recognized as being from the actual match. Alice prodded one of the sticks with her wand, and it moved, and the entire game adjusted itself. Remus turned his attention back to James and Sirius.

Peter – despite the fact that he was not a member of the team – had slumped into an armchair as well, his face the very picture of sympathetic sorrow. "I still thought you guys were ruddy brilliant." He said reassuringly.

James and Sirius glanced at each other as though the vote of confidence from Peter was just about the lowest compliment they could receive. Remus rolled his eyes and cracked open _Numerology and Grammatica_, which made Sirius throw a pillow at his head. Remus responded with a levicorpus so impressive that Sirius flew into the stairs for the girls' dormitory and slid back down them as they folded in on themselves, groaning.

The common room gazed at Remus with a kind of newfound respect that night.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Wow, already to chapter 15. I think this is a stepping stone if ever there was one, since I rarely make it past chapter ten of most of my fics. Guess this one is better than most. xD As you can see, more familiar faces.

*Alice Reed: Unfortunately neither Rowling nor any other source ever listed the maiden name of Neville Longbottom's mother. I've given her a rather ordinary name here. Don't worry, there's only a three year difference in her age and Frank's age (he's only just finished Auror training after all) so I didn't think it was that big a deal.

*Barty Crouch: This is Barty Crouch Junior, the one who impersonated Mad-Eye Moody in GoF, he started Hogwarts in '73, and I thought it would be amusing if he got his own transfiguration idea from a prank pulled on him by a couple of students.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh_: more reviews *heart* w I feel unworthy of your praise.

_LoverFaery_: for your consistently detailed reviews, you really analyze my writing and I appreciate it more than you know.


	16. Chapter 16: Rage at the Machine

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: November, 1974

[][][][][][]

"Twenty points apiece from Gryffindor, you three!" McGonagall pointed accusingly at James, Sirius, and Peter. Remus was hanging back, the only one who didn't have his wand out when she had strode up the hallway. She turned to Severus, who was covering his nose with one hand and nursing one eye which was quickly growing purple and yellow even as they stood. "And you, Mr. Snape, thirty points from Slytherin, I saw you start it! Off to the Hospital Wing with you!"

James' glasses had been broken, and Remus had picked up all the pieces and was fixing them as McGonagall turned to them once more, towering over the four boys. The students who had been gathered to watch the duel suddenly decided that they had better things to do, and they scattered.

"How come he only got thirty points taken?" Sirius demanded, though James stomped on his foot.

"Just because another student makes a derogatory comment does not mean you Jinx him!" McGonagall said angrily. She waved her hand dismissively as Sirius attempted to argue. "I heard what he said, Mr. Black. But actions are louder than words, and therefore worth more points! This is the third time this year I've had to peel you three off of a fellow student. This petty rivalry between Slytherins and Gryffindors has been taken far enough! You three... no, all four of you, Mr. Lupin _included_," Remus gazed at her mournfully, but she ignored him, "will spend Friday night with Mr. Snape scrubbing out the dungeon bathrooms!"

James and Sirius both gave her their best "But, Professor" expression, but she was unwavering. After a few more minutes of scolding, she ordered them all to get to class.

They slumped into their usual seats in History of Magic. Remus looked infuriated that he had been roped into yet another detention when he hadn't even done anything to Snape, nor was he planning to. Sirius scribbled a note on his parchment and slid it over to Remus.

**he said you had a big nose and he called James foureyes**

Remus read it, and the tips of his ears turned scarlet. He didn't reply, and Sirius quickly wrote a second one, shoving it into Remus' elbow more forcefully.

**we werent gonna let him get away with that!**

Still no answer. Sirius glared at Remus, who was diligently taking notes on what was either the three-hundredth goblin war, or the fiftieth troll war, and Sirius didn't really care. His writing became almost unintelligible as he levitated the note smack into Remus' forehead.

**youve got no sense of honor moony! ! ! ! !  
**

Finally, Remus ripped off a piece of his parchment and scribbled down a note, sliding it over to Sirius with one pinky, as though he were ashamed to be doing this at all.

_Your abuse of capitalization and punctuation is far more dishonorable than my desires to have ONE detention-free evening._

Sirius scowled, and James leaned over curiously to read the notes that were now being passed back and forth with increasing annoyance.

**all you were gonna do is read books anyways, now you can spend the evening drowning snivellus in a dungeon toilet!**

_Did it ever occur to you that I don't hate __Severus__?_

**WHAT WHAT DO YOU MEAN?**

_He's never done anything to me._

**HE SAID YOU HAD A ****BIG NOSE**

_You said that yourself first year. And besides, he only makes fun of me because of you two._

**IVE NEVER SAID YOU HAD A BIG NOSE**

Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius had stolen James' parchment in his fury, unable to write in normal-sized letters anymore. Peter leaned over Remus' shoulder to read the pile of notes between the two of them, and giggled.

**MOONY YOU CANT BE A MARAUDER IF YOU DON'T HATE SNIVELLUS ITS A RULE! ! !  
**

_Well, I guess I'm not a Marauder then._

James and Sirius looked at Remus, aghast. Remus was making bulleted points on his notes once again, writing down something that Professor Binns said as though it was far more important than having just declared he didn't want to be a Marauder. Sirius snatched Peter's parchment, turned it sideways, and wrote in the largest letters possible:

**WHAT THE ****BLOODY HELL**** DOES THAT MEAN?**

Remus stared at the paper that Sirius shoved in front of his nose. For a moment Sirius saw the vein in Remus' head pound faster than ever, and then Remus wrote in small deliberate letters at the bottom of the page:

_It means, Sirius Black, you can __go to hell_.

Peter sat down abruptly. James scooted back over in his seat, and Sirius growled, ripping the note up into tiny pieces. Remus' shoulders became stiff and unmovable, and he didn't look at Sirius or the other two again for the rest of the class period. When the bell rang, Sirius got up out of his seat and headed for the door, while Remus very delicately packed his book bag. James hovered for a moment, but sprinted after Sirius, and Peter waited to see what James would do before jogging after the two boys.

[][][][][][]

Remus had never been in a fight with Sirius or James before. Remus was a _good_ student, and a _good_ friend. Even when he was frustrated the most he did was shoot dirty looks, or occasionally hex them with something innocent when he was in a sour mood. Remus didn't yell, didn't swear, didn't throw things (other than pillows), and he most certainly did not resort to name-calling. That was because Remus was Mature. He was a grown-up trapped in a teenager's body.

The notes were only the beginning of it. For the next week, Sirius didn't speak to him, not a single word. During their detention Remus, Snape, and then the other three boys all worked in separate corners of the bathroom, not speaking once. He rarely looked at him, and if Remus sat down in their usual spot near the fireplace he would deliberately get up and move. James said a few things to him, but it was fairly clear where his loyalties lay, and whatever James did, Peter did. So Remus abruptly found himself without any friends at all just by pissing off Sirius.

Remus didn't actively ignore Sirius. He still attended all the Gryffindor Quidditch games, he still did all his homework in the common room, and he still offered his notes on Care of Magical Creatures to James, who sometimes needed them for the essays. In short, he was being a mature _adult_, while Sirius was acting passive-aggressive and childish.

As the end of the term approached, Sirius showed no signs of having gained any emotional maturity whatsoever. They performed two pranks without even telling Remus, though James hinted at it in a conversation about homework, and apologized afterward for not including him.

"Why would I ever want to be involved in something so _petty_?" Remus had said loudly, causing Sirius to turn red with rage and stomp up to the dormitory.

After that, Sirius began a campaign of epic proportions against Remus. It had gone from ignorance of his existence to blatant attacks of character and personality.

When his potion went wrong, Sirius glanced over and said to James quite loudly, "Well, I guess _half_bloods can't be expected to do everything right!"

When Remus dropped all his books and papers while trying to make it up the dormitory stairs, Sirius laughed, "Gracefulness isn't your strong suit, Lupin? I'd have thought with those skinny legs you would have less to trip over!"

And when Remus came back from the next full moon looking like death warmed over, Sirius smiled at him over the breakfast table and spoke in a low voice so only Remus could hear. "Kill anyone last night, Lupin?"

Remus had never thought Sirius Black capable of such cruelty. But honestly, he should have expected it. Sirius had been raised on cruelty and scorn his entire life. It was the exact same way he treated Severus, and it was only because Remus was a new and shiny plaything that Snape managed to avoid any attacks. Remus did note – in an attempt to try and make himself feel better about his new treatment – that Sirius was not actually jinxing him, or even trying to. However, the teen knew that that was probably James rather than any honor Sirius had left for his former friend.

Finally though, one day Sirius really crossed the line. Remus had been heading to class when a foot stuck out in front of him, and he tumbled forward. Books flew into the air, quills and parchment scattered, and the black bottle of ink uncorked and spilled all over his Ancient Runes textbooks, which had not been cheap. Remus whirled around to glare at Sirius, who had his arms crossed over his chest. Peter was hiding behind James, who was looking extraordinarily apologetic.

"What the hell do you want, Black?" The waxing moon tugged at him, making his very bones ache. His whole body felt rather like it was vibrating in that moment, and an inhuman growl inside his head ordered him to jump the boy who had dared to knock him over.

"Some people are trying to walk here, Lupin." Sirius said haughtily. "Maybe your mum should have spent less time in the laundry and more time teaching you proper-"

Remus didn't let him finish. Dragging his hand back, he let loose with a bellow of rage. It was as though he was possessed for a moment. His fist collided with Sirius' nose spectacularly. Sirius screamed – in a rather girly way to Remus' satisfaction – and flew backwards into a crowd of Gryffindors who were trying to get to Charms.

"Y-you punched him!" James said in disbelief. Sirius was stumbling onto his feet, digging around for his wand and cursing.

"Yes. And it felt so good I think I'll have to do it again." Remus said calmly, before rushing at Sirius, whose eyes widened as he saw Remus coming at him.

"I think not, Remus." A voice called out, and a hand grabbed Remus' arm which was drawn back to strike a second time. Kalinda Coffard, now a seventh year and Head Girl, was yanking him back. "Fifteen points from Gryffindor for brawling in the hallway." She said curtly. Remus glowered at her, and she stared right back. "Gather your things and come with me." She added in a brusque tone, crooking her finger.

Remus dragged his jumble of ink-covered books, destroyed homework, and his torn book bag behind himself, while Kalinda guided him into an empty classroom off of the Charms corridor. He dropped his things and set about sorting them, his ears crimson.

"I thought you were best friends with Sirius and James?" She asked him, bending over to take his ruined Ancient Runes books. He watched her take out her wand and tap them, and the ink started to disappear.

He mumbled a thank you and repaired the strap on his book bag, sighing. "We _were_."

"Were?"

"He's a git. He got me a detention over... over one of the Slytherins."

"And you stopped being his friend over one detention?"

"It's not just one detention!" Remus protested, knowing that sounded immature and petty. "Just because I'm not a prankster like them, but I always end up in trouble anyway, and Sirius acts like it's no big deal, but he never has to study anyway to get good grades while I'm _always_ reading and doing homework just to try and keep up with them, and just because they hate s... someone, doesn't mean that I have to too, and if that's a requirement to be in their stupid little club I don't want to be in it!"

Kalinda handed him his things and during his rant he had started shoving them in haphazardly, and now he stopped and redid it more carefully while she seemed to mull over his words. "So you're a bit jealous of them?"

Remus flushed. "Well... yeah, I guess a little. I mean... they never do homework or anything and they're always in Quidditch practice but they're still ace at everything and I'm a good student but it's because I'm studying _all the time_. They don't seem to get how hard it is for some people, like they can waste all their time because they know they'll do great. So they waste my time too like it won't affect me."

"Why didn't you just tell them you don't want to get in trouble anymore?"

"Oh, haha, as if." Remus looked at her like she was crazy, and she seemed genuinely confused. "Oh, you're _serious_. No... god no, if I told them that they'd laugh hysterically and stick a tarantula down my shirt."

"You'd let them?"

"Well... well I suppose so."

She shook her head. "Boys." Was her only comment, and then she sighed. "Still sounds like you've lost three perfectly good friends because they are troublesome occasionally. I think if you really are friends with someone, then even if they do things that annoy you, really _stupid_ things, that you should stick by them." She looked thoughtful as she said it. "I understand you aren't like James and Sirius, or even Peter for that matter, but you seemed to get along with them really well, and as far as I can tell... you don't have any other friends."

He grimaced. "I noticed."

She laughed, and he put his book bag over his shoulder again. He looked at her, and realized it was the first time he'd seen her laugh that year. Not that they saw each other that often. She was a seventh year and Head Girl so their classes and social circles were vastly different. But they met in the library, and Remus had noticed that she'd been a bit tense. He must have been looking at her strangely, because she smiled at him.

"There are things happening in this world, Remus, that require _friends_." There was a dark look on her face. "Some people don't believe in friendship, or love, and we've got to fight that. Do you understand what I'm saying?" He didn't, but he nodded. She smirked and patted him on the shoulder. "All right, I'll walk you to class so you don't get in trouble."

With the Head Girl escorting him, Flitwick didn't do much more than glance at him. Peter was the only other one in class, and when he saw Remus he scooted over a seat to put more distance between them, fear in his eyes.

[][][][][][]

Lily left quickly after their evening tutoring, because she wanted to get some other work done, and Remus had gladly allowed her to leave. They'd had a nice little chat about how cruel and idiotic Sirius was, not to mention _James_. Remus actually wanted to chuckle at how she went on and on about James with such anger, her cheeks pink. It was akin to the way James went on and on about _her_, except without the words "toe-rag" and "git" thrown in every other sentence. But their conversation, coupled with the talk he'd had with Kalinda earlier that day, had resigned him to attempting to make some kind of contact with Sirius again. Lily was nice, but she was no substitute for a trio of best mates, and Remus realized more and more that he missed the Marauders and all the stupidity that came along with being one. He took his time putting away all the ingredients they had used, and scooped up his Shrinking Solution into a vial to save it for later.

As he exited the classroom he heard footsteps, and looked over to see Severus Snape lurking in the shadows of the dungeon. Remus adjusted his bag over his shoulder and turned to walk away. Snape was no concern of his. Remus had never insulted Snape, or done anything to him. He'd always figured, by the way that Snape mostly insulted James or Sirius, that Snape had recognized that Remus wasn't interested in turning the Slytherin into a punching bag like his friends were.

"_Impedimenta_!" Came the nasal voice from behind him, and Remus dropped forward on instinct to see a red flash of light explode over his head. He whipped around, taking out his wand.

"What are you doing? I haven't done anything to you!" Remus demanded, staring at the teen who's wand was pointed right at his chest now.

A pair of black eyes glittered at him viciously, and Remus backed up a step, staring in confusion. Severus was staring at him, wand pointing, and Remus swallowed. "_Levicorpus_!"

"_Protego_!" Remus shot right back, and Snape's jinx bounced off the whirling shield in front of him. "What the hell are you doing?" He shouted.

"You! You and Lily! You think you can just sneak around the dungeons with her and no one will notice?" Snape was yelling, his whiny voice high-pitched and desperate. "_Stupefy_!"

The Stunning spell shot off Remus' shield, still steadily hanging in the air. Remus blinked, not understanding. "Why do you care if Lily is tutoring me?"

The laugh was cold, and Remus actually shivered. "Tutoring? LIAR. I know what you are doing! Lily is too good for you! Too good for you, too good for POTTER! _Stupefy_! _Stupefy_, _STUPEFY_!"

As the other teen's anger grew, Remus felt his shield waver. The blasts of red bounced off of it with alarming ferocity, and Remus had a feeling that if one of those spells hit him he would not only be stunned, but knocked back several feet. "Severus!" He attempted, sidestepping as Snape tried to circle around him. "I'm not... we're not, _nothing_ is going on between Lily and I! We're just _studying_!"

Snape roared in anger and flung a spell that Remus didn't know. He fell backwards as his shield charm collapsed, stumbling to the ground. He was speaking now, fast, and Remus barely understood him, pacing back and forth so fiercely that Remus was surprised his shoes didn't catch on fire with the friction. "No, no, it's a _lie_. She's mine, she's mine! I love her, I've always loved her, beautiful, smart, beautiful, I love her, stupid Gryffindor, stupid Potter, stupid Lupin. You can't have what's mine! Friends, friends since childhood, and in steps Great Potter and Amazing Lupin and you try and charm her, and you pretend that you need help in Potions, I'm not stupid, I understand what's going on here, you've been snogging, you've been touching her, my Lily. MY LILY!"

Remus felt a great deal of pity for Severus in that moment. The pain on his face and in his voice spoke to something in Remus. Now that he thought about it, he knew that Lily and Severus were partners in Potions, that they _always_ worked together. Of course Sirius didn't care, and James was too busy looking at Lily to notice the other boy who was gazing at her, who was touching her hand occasionally, who was telling little jokes that made Lily smile. Poor Severus, to have been separated by such a wide house boundary. Severus, who wasn't even liked by any of the other Slytherin students. He was smart, Remus knew that he was acing Potions and, based on the spells he had used in retaliation to James and Sirius, Remus also knew that he was an expert with a wand and with charms and things. So he had an unfortunate nose and he didn't like bathing as often as everyone else? Remus had seen Lily laugh once during Potions. Perhaps he had a sense of humor, and obviously he was far better at dealing with girls than Remus was.

Remus, in that moment, believed that Severus was the better person. Better at magic, smarter in his classes, and with the ability to be friends with Lily Evans. Surely there was something rather wonderful about him if _Lily_ was his friend. And Snape was more chivalrous surely, standing outside to make sure that Remus wasn't taking advantage of the person he cared about, making sure that Lily got someone good enough. Remus didn't know if Severus considered _himself_ good enough, but that wasn't the point. Severus had impressed Remus (even if he was trying to kill the him at the moment).

"Severus." Remus said, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible. Something in him related to Snape. To that pain, that longing. "Severus, really, I promise you, I'm not with Lily, not like that. We're just friends. I'm completely stupid in Potions, you've seen that. She's ace in Potions, and I've seen you two working together."

He was mumbling now too quickly to understand, and Remus was at least relieved that his attacks had stopped. Remus slowly got to his feet, but kept his wand at the ready. He looked at Snape, trying to appear sympathetic. "I understand, Severus." The boy snapped his head up, looking at him with wide, black eyes. Remus swallowed, before plowing on. "I know, it's hard. When you think your friends aren't really your friends anymore. When things change-"

"SHUT UP!" Snape suddenly screamed. "You don't know anything! Don't pretend you know me! Don't pretend to have sympathy for me when all you really do is PITY me! You stupid, worthless..._SECTUMSEMPRA_!"

"_Conjunctivitis_!" Remus yelled out seconds after he realized that Snape was going to use a spell. It was the first thing he could think of that wouldn't really cause Snape any harm.

Snape cried out and his wand jerked as he pressed his hands to his eyes. Less than a second later blinding pain shot across Remus' face, and he howled, falling backwards. All he knew for a moment was blood, blood and _pain_, and he pressed his hands to _his_ eyes as well, only to feel a second stabbing pain across his arms, and then Snape was cursing, and Remus was shaking on the ground, and he could feel liquid pouring out between his hands and onto his robes.

"THERE WILL BE NO DARK MAGIC IN _THIS_ SCHOOL!" He suddenly heard a shout, and several cracking sounds, and Snape was babbling, and he could feel himself getting weaker, the shaking growing harder. A pair of hands grabbed him and dragged his bleeding arms away from his bleeding face, and there was a shriek, and then he passed out, and only saw darkness.

[][][][][][]

He awoke with a start, attempting to jerk himself into an upright position. He regretted that immediately, as his arms that were trying to grab the sheets were shot through with piercing pain. He collapsed back into the pillow with an "oomph" of agony, and he heard a shuffling noise, and he finally cracked his eyes open.

One half of his vision was obscured. Light still hit the eye, but all he could see was grey and white. A bandage. The other eye was looking up at the Hospital Wing's ceiling, and then at the caring face of Madam Pomfrey. "Oh, hello Remus." She said kindly, adjusting his pillows. "Can you speak?"

"I... I think so..." He said warily. His mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, and he coughed. She held something up to his lips, and he took a drink without thinking. The potion was unbelievably bitter, and Remus tried to pull back, but she brought it to his mouth again, and obediently he finished it. Thankfully it was followed by a goblet of water, and this he greedily drank, before relaxing again.

"There. That will keep the pain off. Are you feeling okay?"

"Er... yeah... all right I suppose." He wanted to feel his face. It felt thick, and heavy, and _numb_, and he wanted to lift a hand and see what was going on with it. But he remembered the lesson of only a few seconds ago, and left his hands at his sides. His arms felt heavy too, and numb, and he was mildly concerned with that fact. He couldn't feel anything at all in his arms or in his face, he tried raising his eyebrows up and down, but he couldn't feel them to know if it was working.

"Why's he waggling his eyebrows around like that?" A familiar voice made him freeze, and his eye moved around wildly to see the source of the sound.

"Who's that?" He questioned, although he already knew who it was.

"It's me. James." A head of messy hair leaned over into Remus' very limited field of vision, peering down at him.

"What..." Remus trailed off, confused.

"You're in the hospital wing."

"I know that, I haven't been Confunded... have I?" Remus questioned.

James shook his head. "Pomfrey said you'd lost a lot of blood, and that they couldn't quite get the bleeding to stop there for a while, but they finally did. But she said your brain should be fine." The boy grinned. "Well, as fine as it ever was."

"Merlin. I can't feel my face or my arms." Remus said, twitching slightly.

James nodded. "Yeah, she said they used a bunch of... don't remember the name, it was goopy though. Sprout sprinted up here from the greenhouses to give it to ya. We were doing a detention out there when McGonagall came running down, never seen McWhiskers run like that, but she said there was an emergency with you, and we ran right after Sprout once she'd gotten the bottle of stuff and McWhiskers tried to yell at me, but I told her that I wasn't leaving until I saw you. She made me wait outside at least until you were 'stabilized'."

"What... what do I look like?"

"Cor, Moony. You're all bandaged up, I can't see any of the wounds. Pomfrey said she used Dittany on them, so I imagine they're looking pretty good. You've got so many bandages on your face I thought you were a clean mummy until I heard you talking. Your arms are all wrapped up too, but only the forearms. I was listening to them talking, see, that's how I know about the Dittany and stuff. Pomfrey said the second slash didn't hit you as hard as the first, the ones on your arms are less deep. Blimey... what did you get hit with?"

"Curse." Remus said simply. James moved out of view and Remus heard and then felt him sitting down on the edge of the bed and then his head popped back into the picture again.

"What were you doing?"

"Well first... I was studying with Lily down in the dungeons." Remus said calmly. "Then when I got out... well Severus was there waiting for me."

"Snivellus?" Remus heard a gasp coming from the other side of the bed. He assumed it was Peter, and nodded at James' words.

"He was... mad." Remus wanted to skirt around the personal stuff. It wouldn't do for Lily's newest suitor to know that Severus was in love with the redhead. "He was shouting at me, tried to use levicorpus and then he tried stupefy, and I was trying to talk him out of it."

"Remus, that's like trying to talk down an angry wolverine. You should have just hexed him to start with."

"Shut up, he's not... anyway, that's not the point. He trashed my Shield Charm and then used... used something... it felt like hot knives almost..."

There was a rustling next to him, and the sound of enraged breathing. Remus would dearly have loved to turn his head towards Peter to tell him to calm down, it wasn't that bad. Well, Remus didn't actually know how bad it was. James looked over at Peter, a strange look on his face. "McGonagall said it was dark magic. An Unforgivable?"

"No, no. Cruciatus doesn't cause any marks or wounds, Imperious doesn't cause any pain at all, and if it were the Killing Curse... well I'd be dead, nothing could stop that." Remus said knowledgeably. He paid attention in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Right... right. Merlin's beard, what was he thinking? Dark spells, shhesh."

"Where is he? I hit him with conjunctivitis..."

"Snivellus was trying to kill you and you gave him an _eye infection_?" James demanded, almost angrily, and Remus sighed.

"I didn't want to hurt him." Peter's breathing was even louder now, and a pair of hands hit the side of the bed.

"Well you're the only one."

Remus froze. It wasn't Peter on the other side of the bed at all. The person who's breathing had been getting louder and angrier, and who had just struck the mattress in his rage was Sirius Black. Remus knew his voice instantly, and now he really was struggling to turn his head. James sighed, and moved, and very slowly, Sirius bent over so that the top of his head was in Remus's very limited line of sight.

The boy's hair – getting too long – was touching his thickly bandaged face but he couldn't feel any of it. The grey eyes looked scared but also angry, and Sirius' face was red as though he'd just been scolded for something. "Wotcher... Moony." He said weakly.

"S-sirius... I..." Remus didn't know what to say.

"Yeah." Sirius said calmly, pulling back so Remus couldn't see him anymore. "We were all in the greenhouses... I... I wanted to see you were okay."

James popped his head back down. "He was _worried_."

"Shut up, James! I wasn't worried, just... if someone who USED to be my best mate was bleeding to death I guess I'd be a sorry excuse of a Gryffindor if I didn't at least check and see if he was alive. What... Moony... are you laughing?"

He was, starting with a snicker and then turning into fully blown laughter, which then faded abruptly because he found he couldn't open his mouth past a certain point without the numbness switching to mind-boggling pain. "Ow... Merlin... I'm sorry too, Sirius." He said after the pain had subsided.

"I wasn't apologizing!" Sirius said. But Remus could already picture James giving him a look, and then Sirius leaned over again, a sheepish look on his face. "I suppose... I suppose I've been a right git..."

"I was too." Remus said quickly. "I mean... you're just... _you_... and I can't really do anything about it except hope that someday my glory will rub off on you two."

Sirius laughed as well, and Remus was sure that if he wasn't collapsed in the Hospital Wing and drowning in an entire roll of bandages that Sirius would have pounded him on the back, or even honor him with that teenage boy half-hug. "Marauders through live, love, and death. And perhaps through mauling as well." Sirius said cheerily.

"Don't forget the punching." James shot back, and Remus listened to the sound of Sirius reaching across the bed to hit James with a pleased smirk on his face.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I think this was one of my favorite chapters to write. So many visual things to describe, so many volatile emotions. Teenage boys *eyeroll* bags of hormones and hostility. Just because Remus has some Maturity and Dignity doesn't mean he won't shank a bitch when he's mad. Writing Severus was both difficult and annoying. I've never liked him really, and always found him more creepy than endearing when it came to Lily. I do hope that my bias didn't show too much when writing this. *yawn* well, must get to bed. Been staying up far to late to provide YOU PEOPLE with necessary entertainment.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh_, _LoverFaery_: you keep reviewing, I keep writing. it's like payment, except I can't buy shoes or go to the movies with it. xD


	17. Chapter 17: Four Christmases

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Christmas, 1974

[][][][][][]

Christmases at the Blacks had never been what Sirius would call "merry". There was usually a large party among the extended family, that was either hosted at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, or which was held at another location. At least if it was at their house, Sirius could hide in his room until Regulus showed up, yelling and banging on the door and telling him that Mother was getting angry that he was missing.

There were itchy dress robes with high collars. Angry, pointy fingers from his mother digging deeply into his shoulders as he was introduced to the half-a-million Pureblood wizards related to the Black family. Even the green and red decorations were sinister, the tree towering over him as though it were going to swallow him up. The ornaments were all bought. Sirius had – when he was still very little and assumed his parents loved him – brought them a hand-painted green and red bauble. His father had laughed and said there was no way such a "trifle" was going on the illustrious Christmas tree in the drawing room. His mother was only slightly more kind about it, allowing him to put it all the way around at the back of the tree at the very bottom, where no one could see it. A few days later Sirius had taken it out into the yard and smashed it to pieces.

When Sirius was young, Christmases were a time to revel in the beauty of being a Pureblood family. All his aunts and uncles and cousins were there, all the "proper" ones anyway. The only laughter came from the grown-ups. The children were to be seen and not heard. Sirius' nanny shuffled all the children into the sitting room, where they were permitted to "play quietly" and eat a few Christmas cookies, but not too many, as it would ruin their dinner.

Just about the only thing he had enjoyed about Christmases were his cousins, when they came to visit. Bella who would try and cause as much chaos as possible, ignoring the nanny, Dromeda who would sneak him extra cookies and play with his little toy soldiers, and Cissy who would start out prim and polite and ladylike, but by the end of the night would be throwing things and screaming at Sirius and Bella, who took turns making fun of her.

The other thing was presents of course, though he never got anything he _really _wanted. When he wanted a broom, he got new dress robes, when he wanted a pet, they'd gotten him a horse that he hardly ever got to see or ride. Still, he enjoyed the few moments before he unwrapped his presents. Seeing the sparkling wrappers – probably done by Kreacher – and the bright bows, a spot of color in a house of Blacks.

But, then he turned eleven. And the world seemed to change around him. Suddenly, he didn't _have _to go home for Christmas. Suddenly, he was surrounded by red and gold and beauty unimaginable. Suddenly he could play in the snow with three best friends who didn't understand the concept of "propriety" and the "noble house of Black". Suddenly, the Christmas tree was a thing of wonder, not of terror.

Presents were now fun things. Candy and toys and pranking supplies. Warm hand-knitted scarves from an Aunt he had hardly knew existed. Dinners were full of laughter and jokes, a tiny group of Gryffindors gathered around a cozy table, passing around bowls of food. No one gave him a dirty look when he went to grab seconds, no one scolded when he laughed with his mouth open, and although McGonagall looked disapprovingly when he flung a pile of mashed potatoes at Peter's head – which was a brand new Christmas tradition he had decided upon – Dumbledore waved it aside with those sparkling blue eyes of his. It was Christmas, let them have fun.

[][][][][][]

Santa Claus had never really been a fixture in Remus' Christmases. He supposed, when he was still 3 years old, and the world was still full of wonder and beauty, that Santa Claus had been the best thing he'd ever heard of. A jolly man who traveled from house to house and gave presents to _everyone_, no matter how rich or how poor they were. On this one day in Remus' life, he could get something fun, something special, something other than socks or new trousers.

When he turned four however, the entire world had changed. The outdoors was no longer a place of mystery and surprises, instead it was a dark place where evil things lurked. On his fourth Christmas, his parents made a special effort. The house was decked out completely in red and green and gold, the Christmas tree was filled with orbs and ornaments. Most of them Remus had made himself in preschool or daycare, badly painted, some were brown because Remus had thought that by adding red and green together he could make the ultimate Christmas color combination. He was trying to be happy, he was trying to be thrilled at everything, but all he could feel was the pain and the loneliness that gripped him like a jumper two sizes too small.

At age five, he had looked up at the tree. Fifteen transformations since he'd been bitten. He looked over at his parents, their smiling faces, hopeful, pleading. Santa Claus, bah. There was no Santa Claus. Just a pair of adults lying to their children, telling them stories of flying reindeer and gifts to try and make one day feel more special than all the rest. Grown-ups who only wanted their children to stay children a little while longer. It was too late for Remus. He picked up the present and he opened it, and pretended to smile and even laugh a bit as he pulled out the brightly colored top. He had diligently played with it for a while after the present opening was over, but soon it sat on a shelf in his room, untouched.

Age eight. Over sixty transformations since he'd been bitten. The house was covered in beauty. His parents had looked as though they'd aged a hundred years since he was five. But they were trying, they were trying so hard. When it came time for presents his father had pulled out a bicycle, a brand new one, with a blue bow on the handlebars, and Remus had feigned excitement, but when the weather got better and he was finally able to ride the bicycle, it ended up getting rusty and filled with cobwebs, as Remus stayed in his room and read his books in silence.

After that, they'd kind of given up. No more expensive presents, no more wrapping and bows and ribbon. They bought him jumpers and jackets and handkerchiefs and wrapped them in the brightly colored newspaper comics, and gave them to him on Christmas morning with smiles that didn't reach all the way up to their eyes. He unwrapped them and thanked them, and he did sometimes get excited when they'd managed to scrape the money together for a new book, or even a slightly used book from his father's bookshelf that they had dusted and made to look a bit fresher. Remus always knew the difference, but he didn't care, and he was happy and grateful, and for their sakes he was a child for a little while.

When he'd finally gone off to school it hadn't been like he never wanted to go home. But now instead of strained silence there was laughter and joking, genuine laughter. At Christmas dinner there was the throwing of food and the eating of food, and the stuffing of food down other boy's shirts. There were _children_, real children, not small people who had grown up too fast and were forced to keep playing the role.

Besides, with his dad off for the holidays his parents would be able to spend a bit of time together without Remus. They didn't have to look at each other over his head and speak with code words or only speak with their eyes. They didn't have to be nervous anytime mention of the full moon or fuzzy things, or animals, or the basement came up. They could try and patch together a strained marriage at least for a little while, so that when Remus came home for Easter they were happy to see him, and they hugged him and didn't seem so angry at each other and the world all the time.

And Remus could show Peter how to get mashed potatoes out of his hair with a charm, and Dumbledore was actually making McGonagall chuckle, and the world just seemed... _right_.

[][][][][][][]

The brightly colored wrapping paper was strewn over the floor. Only a half-hour earlier it had been expertly taped onto boxes of varying sizes and shapes. The blue, green, red, gold, and silver packages had waited in anticipation of little hands tearing them apart. For the last week James slowly watched as the pile grew taller and taller. His parents kept looking at him whenever he paused near the fireplace and gazed at them. The firelight reflected in metallic paper.

Christmas morning he would thunder down the stairs. His mother was already in the kitchen, bustling around making tea and toast and eggs, the toast cut into the shapes of evergreen trees with red jelly and the hot tea tinged green so that it was a proper Christmas breakfast. His father would lumber down the stairs in the midst of James tearing into packages, squealing in delight at all the colorful toys and presents. On his seventh birthday when he'd gotten his very first broom he had been so excited to ride it that he had barely allowed his mother to bundle him up tightly with layers of clothing and a handmade woolen hat before he'd sprinted out into the early morning snow.

He'd returned a little while later after falling off the broom and nearly crashing into a tree, cheeks red as tomatoes and beaming. His mother had already laid the table with Christmas supper. They were well-off but they had no house elves, Dorea preferred to cook and clean herself, she enjoyed being a housewife and taking care of her precious only son.

His parents were older, and James was their "miracle baby" as his mum had put it once. They'd tried for ten years to have a baby before finally James came along, and it was a difficult pregnancy, so Dorea treated James as though he were made of gold.

On Christmas they ate turkey and stuffing and roast beef and pudding and all kinds of pies until James and Charlus and Dorea all flopped on the sofa to listen to the radio playing Christmas music. James would play with his toys, but he couldn't help feel a bit lonely.

After all, Godric's Hollow was nice, but there weren't any children, and James was the only child. When he wanted his dad to come watch him fly his broom, he would oblige, but after a while his arthritis in his knees reacted poorly to the cold and James felt foolish flying around outside. What he really wanted, more than a broom or an owl or a new model Quidditch set, was someone to enjoy all these toys with. His father liked Quidditch but he was too old to run around and throw James a Quaffle or even just to play catch. His mother was always kind but all she did was bake or make tea or knit or do arts and crafts, which were nice but completely boring to James. He couldn't make a snowman without someone to help him roll up the snow, and he couldn't very well have a snowball fight with only himself.

It was kind of a lonely existence. His Christmases might have looked picture perfect, but after a few days the allure had worn off and he was bored and alone and sitting in the kitchen watching his mother bake cookies if only so that she'd let him lick the bowl. And when she suggested he go outside and play he would shuffle outdoors but be unable to really do anything except wander around the village. The Muggle kids thought he was a weirdo because his parents dressed oddly and he was homeschooled, so he was never invited to play with them, and there just weren't any wizard kids his age, they were either all grown up or only babies.

And then, he'd gone off to Hogwarts, and he'd realized that there was an entire school of other kids his age, who didn't think he was a weirdo, who relished his company, who thought he was fun and that his toys were amazing. And though he knew his mother was disappointed when he had sent that letter, she had understood, and there he was at the table, watching food go flying and telling that same joke about the witch and the talking cauldron, and everyone was laughing and he was surrounded by people and finally, he wasn't alone.

[][][][][][]

"Here Petey-pie, eat another roll, you still look hungry." The line had been repeated over and over again through the years. When Peter was very young he had denied being hungry, and then his mother would get this look on her face, and her eyes would start to well up with tears, and she would accuse Peter of being ungrateful, of hating her cooking, of hating her, of being mean to his poor mummy.

Now of course, Peter picked up the roll and buttered it and shoved it in his mouth obediently, and his mother beamed at him across the tiny table in the kitchen which was overflowing with Christmas delights. He didn't understand why she cooked so much when it was only the two of them at Christmas, it was only ever the two of them, no relatives, no other family, just two Pettigrew's sharing a table which couldn't possible hold another plate of food. He was on his third helping already.

His eyes gazed longingly at the living room, where the tree still had the colorful boxes strewn around the bottom. He wasn't permitted to open them until they'd finished with dinner, and he was anxiously awaiting the moment when his mother would start to bustle around the kitchen cleaning up and Peter could open his gifts.

Just like every year, Ms. Pettigrew would arbitrarily decide dinner was over, and Peter would be dismissed. He would bound into the living room, plopping his very full self onto the carpet, and waiting, staring hungrily at the gifts. In twenty minutes of impatient waiting his mother finally arrived and sat down on the sofa with a plate of cookies, and Peter took one automatically so that she wouldn't order him to, and then he opened his presents.

Lovely things, things that he needed, things that he wanted, Peter was moderately spoiled when it came to gifts. Mr. Pettigrew had died when Peter was very young, and though he had left his wife and infant son with more than enough money to get by, his mother had never quite gotten over it. Peter was doted upon, and whenever he was gone for more than a day she would cry and accuse him of abandoning her just like his father had done, of leaving her all alone in the big house to rattle around in. Peter had tried over the course of his childhood to let her know that he wasn't going to leave until he had to, but it never worked, and finally he'd given up.

When he had gone off to school, the first time he had asked to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas she'd written him a Howler, and the entire Great Hall at breakfast had heard her call him "Petey-pie" and heard her wailing and crying that her only little boy didn't want to be near his mummy anymore, and why did he hate her so much, when all she wanted was to make his Christmas as happy as possible.

This year he'd barely been able to convince her, by promising to come home on Easter and to send her plenty of letters, and as the mashed potatoes hit him in the head he considered that yes, this was better than dinner at home, and yes, even though James wasn't laughing at his jokes and Remus was busy trying to spell the potatoes out of his hair that he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. It wasn't the ideal Christmas, but it was a good one, nevertheless.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Okay so you probably noticed that this chapter is SUPER SHORT. Basically I felt really weird skipping over Christmas without doing anything. So I wrote up what is essentially a filler chapter about the boys' Christmases before they started school. It's kind of a little side story about how even if you have a wonderful family or you get great presents, or whatever, your Christmas is never quite what you pictured in your head. It's a tad depressing in a way, but I think it has a very hopeful ending, in that all four Marauders found their ideal Christmas with each other. *is all lame and cheesy like that*

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh, Cere-Sempai, LoverFaery, NonrealityRocks: _Ten thousand thank yous for reviewing on each chapter. I've never had much confidence in my writing, but you help me believe in myself, so thank you!_  
_


	18. Chapter 18: Youth in Revolt

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Spring, 1975

[][][][][][]

The bandages remained until Mid-January for Remus. Snape had been sent to detention three times a week for a month, following Filch around and being forced to help him with whatever he was ordered to do. _And_ his wand was taken for a month, and only given back to him in his classes when they were performing magic. Sirius and James thought this was the best thing they had ever heard in their lives. They taunted Snape more than ever, and Remus noticed casually that even Lily seemed a bit stiff around Severus. They still worked together in Potions, but Lily didn't linger around him as often.

On the day the bandages finally came off, Sirius and James were waiting patiently on the other side of the curtain while Madam Pomfrey carefully pulled off the long strip of bandage that Remus had over his nose and cheek. She clucked and Remus looked at her worriedly. "Oh, it's not that bad dear." She said lightly, but he suspected she wasn't telling the whole truth. "Well, _all_ curses leave scars I'm afraid, but the Dittany and the salve seemed to have shrunken it, and after a few more years it will probably become less noticeable."

"Years?" Remus questioned nervously, rolling over his arms to see the long gashes that were just now looking pinkish, instead of red and ragged. He could only imagine what his face looked like. "Done?"

"Yes, all finished."

James and Sirius popped out from behind the curtain as Madam Pomfrey moved it out of the way. Remus was touching the long, slightly jagged, line across his face. It went over the bridge of his nose and down across his cheek a little ways. It wasn't very wide, though the edges were raised slightly and the middle was strangely smooth. James whistled low and Remus felt his ears grow hot. "Blimey Moony, it looks like you got in a fight with a tiger."

Sirius looked annoyed. Remus couldn't stop touching it. "I can't feel anything." He commented.

"You might regain some feeling in those nerve endings, but then again you might not." Pomfrey said casually. Remus wrinkled his nose, feeling the strange spot of un-feeling move.

"Does it hurt?" James asked.

"Nah, it's just... like a dead spot on my face. Feels weird when I move my nose." Remus wriggled his nose a bit, and James chuckled.

"You're just lucky that it didn't get your eye. It was dangerously close though." Pomfrey said with a little "hmph!", and then she wandered away.

Remus got up and pulled his book bag over his shoulder. "Do you think it's... it's ugly?" Remus asked hesitantly.

"Naw, it gives you a look of... danger almost. Matches the one on your chin." James said casually, clapping Remus on the shoulder. "You can tell girls you got it in a fight with a bear, or in a sword fight or something, they'll love it."

Sirius had been quiet, staring at Remus' face. It was making him nervous. "Yeah well... if they aren't too horrified by looking at me to even try and talk to me." Remus said lightly.

As they stepped out into the hall, James received a clap on the shoulder from an unknown sixth year, "Great job this fall, Potter, Black. With you two on the Gryffindor team we'll win the Quidditch Cup again next year!"

Remus smirked. Despite the loss of that first game, James and Sirius – and the whole rest of the team of course – had managed to make up for it by playing with even more ferocity and had won all the games after. Even though James was new-ish to Quidditch, he had become wildly popular among the Gryffindors, both because of his skills, and because of the fact that, at fourteen, James was starting to look a bit attractive. He had stopped wearing his glasses unless he had to, sliding them into the front of his jumper as they walked to class or when he was hanging out in the common room. Remus thought it was stupid, James was nearly blind without his glasses on, and twice he'd run into things. Remus thought that wouldn't being able to see where you are going be far more important than looking dashing? Until he smashed his nose in that is.

Then again, Remus was not like the other boys in fourth year. Suddenly whenever a girl walked by their sofa in the common room three heads would look up, and Remus would find himself bewildered by his three friends' distraction.

It wasn't that he wasn't noticing girls himself. Well, he wasn't. But that wasn't strange, he just didn't think of girls like that. Remus was always confused whenever he tried to figure out exactly how he felt about girls. They were nice, and pretty, and sweet, and they smelled good, but Remus didn't find himself getting all worked up in a tizzy just because Lily Evans had bent over to organize her book bag. James looked like he was about to go apoplectic whenever that happened. Even Sirius – who had scoffed at James' girl-crazy antics – was now being more of a class clown than ever, and whenever he did something that was both ridiculous and yet endearingly cute, Remus could hear the girls in the room giggling. It was a complete mystery.

[][][][][][]

"Oh bugger..."

"What, what did you do, James?"

"Well it doesn't seem to be working. Merlin's pants this is annoying! How are we ever supposed to figure out how to do this?"

"What is it supposed to do again?"

"It's supposed to... 'release the animal within', it says. Doesn't that mean you should be turning into a rat any minute now?"

"Let me see, Jamesy."

"Sirius, don't touch it, I'm trying to read the-"

"BIG."

James and Sirius looked up with a start from where they were fighting over the book. Peter was staring at them, his thick frame suddenly shaking like a leaf. His head jerked around, nose sniffing the air, and then he drew in his hands close to his chest, wriggling his fingers in terror.

"BIG, BIG, WHY'S EVERYTHING SO BIG!" Peter shrieked in a hysterical tone. He stumbled off the seat, and scampered on all fours towards one of the beds. Sirius stared – giving James the chance to yank the book back – as Peter struggled to get his body to crawl underneath the bed. "BIG, BIG, MUST GET AWAY, BIG THINGS, BIG PEOPLE, STOMP ME, EAT ME, HIDE HIDE!"

"Oh." James said matter-of-factly while Peter – unable to get himself under the bed – scrambled around the edges of the dormitory, before finally flinging himself into Sirius' open trunk. Sirius winced as he heard something crunch. Peter curled up. A pair of beady eyes looked over the edge at the two boys.

"'Oh'? 'Oh' is all you have to say?" Sirius said faintly, as he heard Peter chittering.

"Big people, big bed, big, everything so big, want to kill me, want to eat me, hungry, want food, no! No, must hide, must stay hidden, in the shadows, make a nest, oooh, shiny," Peter jumped out of the trunk and headed for a foil candy wrapper in the corner of the room. Once he had the candy wrapper in his fingers he twirled it around, giggling madly. "Shiny, pretty, precious, yes, keep, give to pretty one, yes, hide, hide, shadows!"

"James, now would be a _great_ time for answers." Sirius' eyes widened as Peter began to poke his way around the edges of the room. Anytime that there was a noise from James, Sirius, or from the stairs, Peter would freeze and stick his nose in the air, and Sirius watched in fascination as it twitched back and forth.

"Er... I think..." James adjusted his glasses as he read, frowning.

"James!"

"Okay! Okay, I think that when they say releasing the animal within, they mean that it releases the animal... er... within you. Like in your head. So... Peter thinks he's a rat." James looked up, gazing in confusion as Peter tried to nose his way under Remus' nightstand and knocked it over. Sirius stood, and Peter let out a scream of terror, sprinting for Sirius' trunk again, diving into it. Sirius grimaced, but at least Peter was quiet, and he turned to James.

"How long is he gonna think he's a rat?"

James went back to reading, chewing on his lower lip. "I dunno."

Sirius' eyes widened. "James!"

"Well!" James frowned. "It says that the mind must grow accustomed to the change, and that the human brain will... er... I think what it's trying to say is that Peter's human mind will return as soon as it understands what's going on."

"Blimey, with Peter that could take all day!"

James watched Peter, who was now nibbling on the edge of the trunk. Sirius grunted, and grabbed the back of Peter's robes, and hauled him out. Peter was shrieking something awful, and flailing around, and Sirius yelped and dropped him as Peter sank his teeth into his hand. "The little... the little git bit me!"

Peter scurried back to try and crawl under the bed again, and finally he managed to stuff himself in there. "Haha, never catch me now, never find me, hiding hiding in the shadows big evil, big stupid people with big clumsy hands, never get me!"

"Oh just leave him. Maybe he'll get stuck." James said, looking at the book in concern.

A moment later Remus bounded up the stairs. "I heard Peter screaming, what are you doing to him?"

James blinked. "Oh... he's fine. He bit Sirius."

"He... what?" Remus said, looking bewildered.

"He thinks he's a bloody rat!" Sirius snapped, nursing his hand. "I think he broke the skin, James, look, I'm bleeding!"

"Oh calm down, he hasn't got rabies. I don't think." James waved a hand, and Remus' eyes widened further in his confusion.

"He... thinks he's a rat... and he might have rabies?" Remus requested the clarification slowly.

"If Peter gives me some kind of disease, James, it'll be all your fault."

"It'll wear off." James explained to Remus as though Sirius wasn't waving his hand in front of the bespectacled boy's face frantically. "As soon as his brain figures out what's going on, he'll return to normal."

"James can't bloody read a book, that's what."

Remus tilted his head to the side, and slowly backed towards the stairs. "Okay. So. I'm just going to go downstairs, and tell everyone that you are killing Peter, because that is a far better explanation than whatever you just said."

"Tell them to watch out! He bites!" Sirius called as Remus retreated back to the common room.

"So, let's do _you_ next." James turned to Sirius, perfectly calm, adjusting the book in his lap.

It took Peter six hours to return to his normal self. Although, his nose didn't stop twitching for three days afterwards, and he seemed even jumpier than ever. James assured Sirius that a dog wouldn't be so jerky, and shortly afterwards they tried it on him.

After thinking about it a while, James decided that having Peter scurrying around to the various corners of the room was far better than Sirius following him everywhere and begging for belly rubs.

[][][][][][]

"Okay, so..." Remus stared at Sirius, who had the stupidest grin he'd ever seen in his life. "Wait, what?"

"Hogsmeade, Remus." Sirius said slowly.

"That doesn't... that doesn't clarify in the slightest. I'm confused." Remus said, as he leaned over his bubotuber plant to check its leaves. "Is that a mite?" He asked, looking over at the book.

"Moony!" Sirius said woefully. "I can't believe you aren't understanding the brilliance of this plan."

"I don't really understand why you want to sabotage this." Remus pointed out, grabbing a pair of tweezers and yanking the small black mite off of the plant, and tossing it into the jar of poison that was sitting over on the desk.

"Because! Evans agreed to go to Hogsmeade with James. Evans. Agreed. _James_. There is something very wrong and we must investigate!"

"Sounds like Evans has realized that at least _one_ of the Marauders is a grown-up." Remus commented, and then he fought back a smirk as he could practically feel Sirius glaring at the back of his head. The werewolf carefully started poking around the leaves a bit more, his lips pursed in concentration as he looked for more mites.

"Evans," Sirius finally said in a lofty tone, "just doesn't understand the code of the Marauders."

"What _is_ the code of the Marauders?" Remus asked, narrowly avoiding getting hit in the face with a squirt of bubotuber pus as he poked the plant a little too hard.

"Through live, love, and death! And maulings!" Sirius announced triumphantly.

"Doesn't sound like love to me, Sirius. It sounds like they are strictly going as friends." Remus glanced over at James and Peter, who were also poking their bubotuber halfheartedly. "James, you've got a mite there on the other side."

Peter squeezed one part of the plant judiciously, and James backed him away as the plant oozed puss all over. Sirius and Peter had been partners for a while, but Sirius had this tendency to get easily annoyed, and Peter was easily annoying. James was far more patient with the blond than Sirius was, and if James and Sirius worked together on any kind of actual assignment, it mostly meant that they would either spend the hour flinging things at each other or flinging things at everyone else.

"Moooooony." Sirius hissed behind him, in that familiar tone. Remus let out a sigh of desperation.

"They're just going as friends, Sirius. Why do we need to ruin it? If James isn't a sodding idiot, she might actually stop throwing heavy objects at him, and might start throwing more easily dodged things, like socks, or scarves, or pillows. Do you want James to continue to get concussions?"

Sirius looked entirely exasperated. Remus rolled his eyes. He knew that was a stupid question the moment it came from his mouth.

[][][][][][]

"No Zonko's."

"No... no Zonko's?" James repeated after Remus slowly, gazing at him in confusion.

"_No_. Zonko's." Remus said again, gazing at James levelly.

"Fine." James crossed his arms over his chest childishly. "No pranks. No jokes about bodily functions. No looking at other girls. No talking to other girls for more than two minutes. No jokes about redheads. No jokes about Muggles. No Zonko's. Anything else?"

"No making fun of, tripping, or playing tricks on any other students."

"God Moony! Why did I even ask you for advice?"

"Because Peter would spend the whole day spluttering, and Sirius told you in second year that putting a toad down Lily's shirt was the best way to earn her attention. And what did it get you instead?"

"Ink bottle to the head." James mumbled reluctantly.

"And then Sirius thought it was a brilliant idea to poster the hallways in third year and what did that get you?"

"Levicorpus." James said even quieter, and Remus nodded.

"And then Sirius-"

"Okay, okay." James waved a hand. "No playing tricks on or making fun of anyone else."

Remus sat back in satisfaction. "I think you could actually pass for a reasonable human being, James Potter."

Sirius made a moaning sound and buried his head in the pillows.

[][][][][][]

"So... er... Happy Birthday." James said awkwardly. Lily looked over at him, raising an eyebrow.

"My birthday was over two months ago, James. I should be wishing _you_ a happy birthday." Lily said, wondering why she had agreed to this.

James had been a thorn in her side since they were eleven. On their very first day of classes James had dumped a cauldron of pink goo on her head, and turned her hair and skin the exact same shade of purple. He had looked at her in surprise as she had screamed and thrown things at him, and from that day onwards it hadn't stopped. Toads down her shirt, Trickantulas in her book bag, Exploding Quills, charmed cauldrons.

She supposed that really it was her own fault. Everyone knew that you didn't give boys the satisfaction of having made you upset or angry. Her screaming had only encouraged James, as he had gotten the reaction that he wanted from her. She was sure if she had broken down crying he would also still be taunting her mercilessly. But when it came to James Potter, Lily was unable to ignore him.

It didn't help that now he was the hottest Chaser the Gryffindor Quidditch team had ever seen. Now he was walking around with wind-swept hair and a cocky swagger. She found it endlessly irritating, and yet fascinating all at the same time. James Potter was a boy of many layers, she had suddenly discovered, and that was why when he had asked her for the third time if she would spend their day in Hogsmeade with him, she had reluctantly agreed.

"But I swear, Potter, if you do ANYTHING shifty, anything at all, I'll strangle you and bugger the Quidditch Cup! We're going strictly as... well... as _friends_, though I still don't like you!" She had said scathingly.

[][][][][][]

"What are they doing? Is James dead? I can't hear him talking!" Sirius hissed in Remus' ear as they poked their heads around a corner and looked at the redhead and James walking up the hill towards the Shrieking Shack.

"He's very much alive." Remus grumbled, elbowing Sirius in the ribs to make him scoot back. "You're stepping on me."

"What's he _doing_!" Sirius insisted, and Remus sighed, looking at Lily and James.

"He's talking to her. I think... oh no, James, don't tell the joke about the talking cauldron _again_." Remus sighed in exasperation and whimpered as Sirius crunched his toes once again with a great, clumsy foot.

"I love that joke!"

"And that's why he shouldn't ever use it on Lily. Yes, see, look. She's hitting him with her purse... wait... is she laughing?"

Sirius put a hand on the top of Remus' head and pushed down so he could lean over him and see. "Blimey, she is! We've got to stop them, quick. Oh Merlin, he's _blushing_, Moony!"

Remus grabbed Sirius' ear and yanked it hard, glaring at him. "You listen to me very carefully. This is a Good Thing. We must not stop a Good Thing from happening. James deserves to have one day where you aren't giving him a wedgie, and Lily deserves one conversation where they are acting like two normal human beings. You will _not_ ruin this. You owe me."

"Owe you?" Sirius said in annoyance, ducking his head down to free his ear from Remus' vice-like grip. "I saved your life!"

"And I have done your homework for the past three years, Sirius Black."

"Yeah well... I still think I'm ahead in this."

"I cleaned up after you when you drooled all over my homework. And do I even need to remind you of the bit where you tried to pee on the carpet?"

"Okay... but... I let you punch me!"

"Don't make me do it again."

Sirius faltered. "No... you are... deceptively strong."

Remus nodded. "Right. So we're just gonna watch from here while they look at the Shrieking Shack. Got it?"

The dark-haired boy glowered at Remus for a moment and then huffed, settling down behind the garbage cans to look at James and Lily, who were standing in front of the Shrieking Shack and talking. Remus thought he could just barely hear them, but he was pretty good at reading lips from years of watching his parents silently argue over his head.

"I wonder why ghosts would choose such a stupid place to live." Lily pondered. "I'd choose a castle or something."

"Well... ghosts don't really have a sense of style, do they? Have you seen what the Bloody Baron wears?"

Lily flushed and giggled a bit. Remus blinked. Wow. She actually was acting like... like a _girl_. Sirius grumbled and grabbed Remus' shoulder. "Let's go to Zonko's. I feel the dire need to stick a dungbomb down Snivellus' pants. James can suck it."

Remus allowed himself to be dragged away, though not without a lot of backwards glances at the two fourth years standing on the hilltop. He could have sworn that James had just touched Lily's elbow, just the tiniest bit. He sucked in his breath. _Don't screw this up, James_.

[][][][][][]

Remus jerked up with a start, then felt a wave of nausea pass over him, and he groaned. He instinctively reached over to the bedside, where Madam Pomfrey always kept a large porcelain bowl for him. He bent over it, retching for a moment, and then he pulled back.

"Merlin's fluffy white beard," he moaned lamentably, squeezing his eyes shut against the sunlight that was pouring through the windows.

He was surprised to see Sirius sitting next to the bed a moment later, and he blinked. "What are you doing here?" It sounded more accusatory than he meant it, and he pressed his hands to his temples, begging the world to stop spinning.

"I thought," Sirius paused as Remus groaned, and then lowered his voice. "I thought I'd help you back into bed. James was insufferable waiting for you."

"Huh?" It was like Sirius was speaking English, but Remus' brain had lost all capacity to understand it.

"He kept going on about _Lily_. How she smells, how she talks, how she likes her toast brown but not too brown, about the freckles on her arms..." Sirius stopped as Remus grabbed the bowl to retch again. "Tell me about it, I thought I was going to puke too."

Remus looked at Sirius, squinting his eyes so that the wicked, evil sun wouldn't threaten to boil his eyeballs out of their sockets. "Uh huh..." He said dully, aware that he wasn't exactly a conversationalist right now.

Madam Pomfrey scurried over to take the bowl from him, and press a hand to his head. "I'll be right back dear." She said in a soothing tone, and she yanked the curtain around his bed. Remus let out a sigh of relief as the fabric cut off the sun from the windows. He slumped back into the pillows as she brought over the same disgusting potion she did every month. He drank it quickly and without inhaling through his nose, and the nausea and migraine abated almost immediately. "You stay and rest as long as you need it." She said reassuringly, before shooting Sirius a poignant look and bustling away.

"Anyway, I thought I'd come over to keep you company until you are ready to head back to the dormitory." Sirius said as though he'd never been interrupted.

Remus mumbled something incoherent but grateful, and covered his eyes with one arm. Sirius shrugged one shoulder as though it was nothing. Remus felt himself nearly unconscious, and he said something else about resting his eyes for a minute, before falling back asleep.

An hour later he jerked back into wakefulness, and Sirius was still gazing at him patiently, leaning on the edge of the bed. Remus sat up, blinking several times. He felt much better even after that short of a nap, and he shook his head slightly as though that would clear up the fogginess around the edges of his brain. "What are you doing here?" Remus questioned, and Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"I've been here for... two hours now."

"Haven't classes started yet?" Remus asked, having no sense of time.

"Nah, it's just barely time for breakfast. You hungry?"

Remus felt a twinge in his stomach and a foul taste in his mouth, and he shook his head quickly. "No, not in the slightest."

Sirius smirked. "All right, how do you feel?"

"Okay." Remus said after thinking it over. He felt bruised all over, and his knuckles on his left hand were bandaged up, but nothing was broken, and the headache was mostly gone. He'd at least be able to get to classes.

He allowed Sirius to help him out of bed, and then he changed into the loose clothing that he usually kept in the hospital wing for the morning after. Sirius walked with him back up to the dormitory, where James and Peter were playing wizard chess. Peter was terrible at it though, and they arrived just in time to see James' queen cut down Peter's king.

"Checkmate... oh, hey Moony. How you doing?" James said as he cleared off the board.

"Fine, fine." Remus ran his finger along his tongue and extracted a long grey hair. "Yuck. I'm going to go shower and stuff." He headed into the bathroom and took a long hot shower. His hair was frizzing when he came out, but at least he was clean. "Sirius, have you seen that length of bandage?"

"Here, let me." Sirius offered, grabbing the bandage and holding Remus' hands with surprising gentleness, wrapping his knuckles, which were cut up and cracked as though he had spent the whole night punching a wall. He probably had.

Remus felt himself blushing just slightly as Sirius carefully wrapped up his knuckles, and used a bit of Spellotape on it so it would stay in place. "Er... thanks." He said. Why was he suddenly so nervous?

Sirius smirked that goofy smile of his and nodded. Remus watched him go and gather his things up for breakfast with a strange look on his face. It had been a strange moment. Sirius and James and Peter were always nice to him after the full moon. But they rarely came down to meet him in the hospital wing, and Sirius never helped him with his bandages or anything else. For a moment there... nah, he was just tired and worn out from the transformation. He headed to his bed to pack his bag, looping it over his shoulder and following the Marauders down to breakfast.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: So, a bit more filler. I'm not doing too much more with fourth year. As you can see we've got a bit of James/Lily cuteness, and then some Remus/Sirius cuteness at the end. I'm going to segue us into fifth year soon, because that is going to be an exciting year. The Incident, Animagi transformations, Lily's "break up" with Snape, etc. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about summer vacation, but we'll see.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Tragedy Catalyst, pshhh yeahh, freakyprincess-87, LoverFaery: _OH EM GEE SIXTY REVIEWS. Oh maaaaaaan. You guys ROCK._  
_


	19. Chapter 19: Grace Under Fire

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Summer, 1975

[][][][][][]

Remus stumbled out of the fireplace into the Potters' living room, momentarily set off balance. A hand grabbed him and dragged him from the emerald green flames, and he blinked several times, before looking over at Charlus, who was grinning. "Lovely to see you again, Remus. Much quicker method of travel, eh?"

"Yeah." He spent a moment brushing the ashes off of his clothing and waiting for the dizziness to subside. "My mum was a bit worried, thought I'd end up in two different places."

Charlus laughed, though Remus looked at him seriously. It actually was a concern of his mother's. After a moment Remus picked up his duffel bag, and Dorea shuffled out of the kitchen.

"Remus! Oh I knew you were arriving, I just forgot when." She grabbed him in a warm embrace, and he squeaked. "Heavens to Betsy, Remus, you've shot up at least a foot since two summers ago! Why you're taller than James." She patted his cheek and he managed a crooked grin. "Come on, I've just put lunch on the table."

"Er, thanks." Remus watched as with a casual flick of her wand, James' mother sent his duffel bag upstairs. A few minutes later Sirius and James came tumbling down the stairs, and Remus was greeted enthusiastically with claps on the shoulder by the two boys.

"I'm so glad your mother agreed to let you come for a weekend." Dorea said while she bustled around the kitchen. She hummed a bit while waving her wands at the glasses to pour the lemonade.

"Yeah, well she said if it went well I could come back several times this summer." Remus said as he slid into a seat. James and Sirius were slumped over, elbows on the table, but Remus couldn't help but unfold the napkin in front of him and place it on his lap. Dorea wouldn't care, he already knew that, but he couldn't help himself. His mother's voice was in his head still, her orders for his brief visit very clear.

"I just don't know why she won't let you stay a whole month like we wanted."

James and Sirius looked at each other and then at Remus. Before Remus could come up with an explanation, James piped up. "His mum is a bit protective. Sort of like Peter's mum, only... less so."

Dorea clucked her tongue. "I just don't think it's very conducive for a young boy to be stuck to his mother all the time."

"It's not bad." Remus said quickly. "Er... She just wants to see me a bit. I hardly ever go home for Christmas now. She hasn't been feeling well."

The elderly woman considered this, and then smiled. "Well, it's nice of you to be so kind to your mother. Eat up, boys, don't want you to get hungry."

After a very filling lunch of sandwiches on thickly sliced bread and pretzels with cheese dip, Dorea shooed them out of the house, telling them to go wander around and have fun.

"Sirius, do you ever go home?" Remus asked as a joke.

The dark-haired teen frowned and shrugged. "I went home for a while. Put a Permanent Sticking Charm on those posters you gave me, with the motorbikes." He had a starry look in his eye, and he smirked. "I saw someone riding one down at the village. Oh Moony, they're simply beautiful."

Remus looked nervous. "Er... I think you on a motorbike would be the terror of the streets."

"I'm actually thinking more about 'Terror of the Skies' for a nickname." Sirius said vaguely, and Remus looked at him in confusion.

"Never mind that lads!" James wrapped one arm around each of his two friends' shoulders and grinned broadly. "Summer is ours! Time to make merry while we've still got the vestiges of our youth!"

[][][][][][]

Sirius could barely contain a whistle. There in front of them, like the three Graces in old Greek mythology, were three _girls_. Not just any girls. These were Muggle girls. Something about Muggles was so much more free.

Wizarding girls were always hidden underneath voluminous robes. Pureblood girls, even when out of school uniform, were still wearing layers of frilly clothing. Sirius didn't know how they managed to stay cool in the summer. But Muggle girls, well, they knew how to dress. Or rather, undress.

He and James and Remus had been sitting on the edge of the fountain in the city square, flicking pebbles at passing bicycles or trying to skip them across the surface of the water. Remus was looking bored, and Sirius suspected it was because they had forced him to leave his book at home, and so he was relegated to actually talking to them. They weren't doing much talking though, the July air was heavy, and the fountain was spritzing them with a cool mist.

The girls had come out of the candy shop, and James had stopped dead. Very slowly – as though the girls were some kind of wild animal and any sudden moves would startle them – he had prodded Sirius, who had straightened up.

They were dressed in brightly colored summer tops of green and orange and pink. Their long hair of varying shades of blond was tied up in bouncing ponytails that caught the light. But what Sirius was most concerned with, was three pairs of long, slim legs, revealed under two pairs of cut-off shorts and a mini-skirt.

Remus had turned faintly pink when he realized what Sirius was looking at. The girls were now looking in their direction. Sirius instinctively reached up to run his fingers through his thick, dark hair rakishly, and he heard one of them giggle. James had his best smile on, and Sirius had to admit that his best friend looked quite charming despite the nerdy glasses.

As a trio, the girls all approached. Remus nearly fell backwards into the fountain, but Sirius grabbed his shoulder and steadied him without even looking away. The first girl, leading the way, popped her gum as she approached, toying with the strap of her lime green halter top. Sirius was making a concerted effort to look into her face.

"We haven't seen you boys at school before, are you visiting for the summer?"

It was James who piped up, smirking. "Nah, my parents live here. We've just been away at school all year."

The second girl giggled, one strap of her orange tank top falling over a luxuriously tanned shoulder. "You mean like a private boarding school?"  
Remus elbowed James when he shook his head, and James grimaced before smirking again. "Yeah, it's a private boarding school. Up north. Real fancy."

The girls all looked at each other and tittered. Boarding school boys equaled rich boys, and suddenly their interest peaked significantly. "We were going to go cycling." The third girl was gazing at Remus, a flush on her cheeks as she adjusted her pink tube top self-consciously and fiddled with the edge of her mini-skirt. Sirius grinned as he saw the tips of Remus' ears turn red.

A half-hour later Sirius, James, and Remus had all gone and fetched bicycles, and were riding alongside the girls. They had no idea where they were going, and Sirius really didn't care. James and he had both decided silently that Sirius would get the one in the green, and James would take the one in the orange. The girl in pink – no less pretty than her other two friends – had seemingly decided upon Remus, as she was cycling so close to him that she threatened to spear him with her handlebars.

[][][][][][]

"Where did you get your scars?" Gretchen's voice was a little sultry for Remus' taste, but he suspected that she was attempting to sound sexier than she was as she asked him.

"Er..." One of her slender hands touched the bridge of his nose, and he couldn't help but fidget nervously. "Family cat."

She looked suspicious, as the scars on Remus' face did not in any way resemble a cat scratch, but he smiled sheepishly and she relaxed into the bank of the stream. "Reeemus..." She sang his name in a soft voice and he looked nervous. "You and Sirius have kind of strange names. What are you named for?"

"Well actually." Remus smiled and sat up a tad. "I got my name from Rome. See, Rome was said to have been founded by two brothers, Romulus and Remus. I got the name of the lesser brother, that's why no one seems to recognize it. Romulus eventually killed his younger twin Remus... er..."

Gretchen looked bored, but she smiled when he finished talking. "That's fascinating." She was lying, Remus could tell. "You should think about becoming a teacher, you're very smart."

"Thanks." Remus said, relaxing into the bank as well. In front of them, in the stream, Sirius and James had stripped down to their boxers, and were flinging water at Jennifer and Amelia, the other two girls. The girls had, on arriving at the stream, stripped down to reveal bikinis underneath their thin layers of clothing, and had invited all the boys to join in.

Remus had sat on the bank at first. He didn't like undressing overly much. Scars and bruises covered a lot of his skin, not to mention that he had _not_ spent the entire school year working out for Quidditch, and he still had a lot of baby fat left. Sirius and James had lithe boy/man bodies and Remus had knobbly knees and pointy elbows and looked like he had gone through some kind of gang member initiation where five guys beat the shit out of him regularly.

Gretchen seemed to be growing even more bored by the minute. "Do you want to get in the water?" She asked him, almost accusingly, and he looked at Sirius, who was in the midst of tackling James into the bottom of the stream and trying to hold him down.

"I guess..." Remus said reluctantly, standing up. Gretchen jumped up excitedly and jumped back into the water. Remus slowly got out of his shirt and his shorts, kicking off his sneakers as he waded into the water. Jennifer and Amelia clapped their hands when they saw him joining them, and Sirius kicked a large splash of water in his direction, laughing.

[][][][][][]

"Where's Remus?" Amelia looked disappointed when only two boys arrived at the fountain a few days later.

"Er... family emergency. His mum isn't very well, he has to go home every week or so to take care of her."

Gretchen looked heartbroken. "Oh, how terrible! His poor mother."

Sirius wrapped an arm around Jennifer. She was his favorite because she didn't seem to talk as much. She smirked now and planted a gentle kiss on his face. "He'll be back, don't worry, Gretch."

Amelia was hanging off of James' arm, and Gretchen now looked annoyed rather than upset. Evidently she had just realized she was the fifth wheel. "Gretchie," Amelia said gently, touching her friend's arm, "You could always bring your brother along today, so you aren't by yourself."

Gretchen seemed offended by this. Amelia and Jennifer said something about the ice cream shop, and Sirius obediently followed after them, James in tow. Gretchen seemed to suddenly decide she didn't want to hang out with her friends, and stomped off, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"Siri," Jennifer said sweetly. "Do you think I should get the super fudge sundae?"

"Er... yeah, whatever makes you happy." Sirius said uncertainly. He was unsure about girls still, and didn't know why Jennifer was asking him about her ice cream selections.

"Well... you don't think it will make me fat?" She said hesitantly.

Sirius suddenly felt as though she'd thrown him in front of the Knight Bus. "What? No, of course not, you're beautiful enough to enjoy the occasional fudge sundae..."

She giggle and Sirius sighed in relief. "Oh, Siri! You're so nice!" She stroked his bicep and he smirked.

James paid for all four of them out of the stash of Muggle money his mother kept in the house. The girls had found it odd that Sirius had no pocket money of his own, but he'd made up some story about his parents being off on holiday and forgetting to leave him enough money, because they were such world travelers they didn't pay him much attention.

"So Amy is having a pool party at her place this Friday. Do you think Remus will be back?"

James and Sirius looked at each other and thought about it. "I can send him an ow- a letter... er, or call him on the... telly-phone. And see when he thinks he'll be able to get free."

"Great!" Jennifer said excitedly. "Gretchen likes Remus. He's a bit odd, though, isn't he?"

Sirius chuckled. "How do you mean?"

"Well, all those scars. And he's never really interested in hanging out. Seems like he just sticks with you guys cause he has no other friends."

"That's not true!" Jennifer seemed surprised at Sirius' ferocity, and she looked at him curiously. "Well, I mean, he's a bit strange, but we're much closer at school. He's just worried about his mum, that's all. He's not so odd when you get to know him." Sirius seemed to realize how silly it sounded for him to be defending his mate, and he fell silent.

"Mhm." Jennifer looked unconvinced, but said nothing else about Remus. She scooped up a spoonful of ice cream and guided it into Sirius' mouth, purring a bit as he leaned over and took the bite.

[][][][][][]

Amelia was nice, James surmised, as she dragged him off in the middle of the pool party. They left Jennifer, who was sitting on Sirius' lap, talking animatedly to Gretchen, who was laying on a towel next to Remus. Remus looked a combination of bored and anxious, but he seemed to be getting into the swing of girls a bit more easily now. At least he didn't turn red every time Gretchen touched him anymore.

James allowed himself to be pulled around to the side of the house, where Amelia pulled him close. Without thinking, James kissed her. She was nice, he repeated inwardly. She was pretty, with a little bit of orange in her light blond hair, and her long slim legs which looked fantastic underneath skirts or shorts or pretty much anything. Plus you know, she had womanly bits. And she always smelled nice.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as they kissed, and slowly he slid his hands onto her waist. She made no protest, so he let them rest there. She pulled back first, and he stopped, looking at her.

"You're funny, James." She said brightly, and James wondered what she was talking about, since he hadn't even said anything.

"Thank you, I try." He said loftily, and she giggled. It was never hard to figure out what to say around Amelia. His words flowed smoothly. No stammering, no sheepish smiles or desperate pleading.

She kissed him again, on the cheek, and relaxed against the side of the house. "Will you remember me when you go back to school?"

"Of course." He said immediately, lifting up her hand and kissing the inside of her wrist. There weren't any freckles there, he was disappointed. "Your shimmering golden locks will be a beacon to me on those long lonely nights in the dorms."

"Will you write me letters?" She said seriously.

"Long, involved letters. And poetry. I'm a poet you know." He said, kissing her forehead.

"Really? Write me a poem."

"Now? Okay, okay. Let me think. Roses are red, violets are blue, you and me snog, and that's pretty cool."

"James!" She smacked his chest, but it was a light joking smack, and he grinned as she broke down in giggles. "That isn't the kind of poetry I meant. And that didn't really rhyme."

"No? Darn. How about... Roses are red, violets are blue, if you were ice cream, I would lick you." He accompanied his words with a waggle of his eyebrows, and she laughed again, shaking her head as though he was hopeless.

"Don't write me any poetry, James." She said, leaning up to kiss him again. He kissed back almost lazily.

Yes, she was nice. But she was almost... too nice. And her hair was too yellow, and she had no freckles, and her eyes were blue, and she never seemed to get angry, and thought everything he said was wonderful. It was bizarre, but he didn't like that all that much. He would have preferred that she... well, throw something at him once and a while. Or yell. Or get all red in the face.

"James." Amelia's voice was dangerous suddenly, and she looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "Who the hell is Lily?"

[][][][][][]

"Cheer up James, we gave it a shot. They were only Muggle girls you know. We'll go back to school and forget they ever existed." Sirius patted James on the back.

James groaned, face-down on his bed. "She was nice! She actually liked me. She laughed at my poems! She didn't throw things."

"Truly, that is the mark of the girl you are meant to spend the rest of your life with." Remus said lightly, flipping the page in his book.

Sirius looked at him in annoyance. Remus rolled his eyes. "You weren't exactly supportive when James wanted to leave. It wasn't until Jennifer smacked you that you were okay with getting out of there."

James sat up, sighing. "Well... it just wasn't meant to be I guess."

Remus blinked. "You got over that quick."

"Well, it's not like I can get all weepy over some girl. We have so much better things to worry about."

Sirius and Remus stared at him blankly. James looked innocent, and when the other two boys busted out laughing he looked confused.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: So here we have summer. And summer romance. Again, this chapter is a bit shorter than normal, but I liked the idea of the boys finding some Muggle girls to hang around with, and the ensuing drama of such, when they are all so clearly in love with someone else. =D Next chapter, fifth year!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_ pshhh yeahh, freakyprincess-87, LoverFaery: _I feel kind of like you guys are my fanclub. =D in a good way of course._  
_


	20. Chapter 20: Canis Lupus

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Fall, 1975. WARNING: Some strong language is contained in this chapter.

[][][][][][]

"JAMES POTTER, YOU ARE AN IMBECILE!" James ducked his head as one of the vases decorating the common room went flying. Thankfully all of them were spelled with Cushioning Charms, so it bounced harmlessly off the wall above his head and then fell to the ground slowly enough for Remus to catch it and set it on the mantle properly.

"I didn't even do anything! I just said-" He trailed off as Lily picked up her Potions textbook. It was quite large, and James ducked back down behind the armchair.

"What did you do now?" Remus asked, as though he had been expecting this.

Lily and James had become civil to each other ever since that afternoon at Hogsmeade. She hadn't been all over him, certainly, but they had sat next to each other at the welcome back feast two weeks ago, and during class James kept shooting her grins, and she didn't turn all red with anger. In fact, Remus had thought that they were actually becoming... friends. Of course, James just _had_ to ruin that, somehow.

"I didn't do anything!" James said frantically, just as an empty ink bottle went flying over his head. Remus whipped his wand into the air and flicked it, and the ink bottle went sailing off harmlessly into the back of the portrait hole. James sighed. "I just suggested... maybe... that if she... enjoyed my company so much, she might like... my lips."

The werewolf gave James a flat stare. "You _didn't_."

James winced and poked his head up to see if Lily was still standing there. She was, and this time her aim was dead on, as one of Sirius' chess pieces still on the table came flying over and smacked James square in the forehead. "Ouch! I didn't! I mean... I just! I don't know! Lily, stop!"

"Evans, you need to join Quidditch this year!" One of the sixth year boys called out, and she whirled on them, face red, as though she hadn't realized that their argument was in a public forum.

Remus stood up and sighed, heading over to where Sirius was sitting in front of the chess table and watching. With a certain amount of glee, Remus noticed. "Lily, he's a dolt, just let him alone." Remus said delicately.

Lily glared at him a moment, before huffing a sigh. "I suppose as _Prefects_ we can't be throwing things." She glared over at James. "Ten points from Gryffindor for being a royal arse!"

The common room groaned, and James remained hidden. With that said, Lily seemed to calm down significantly, and she nodded her head before whirling around and stomping up to the girl's dormitory. Remus sank into the chair opposite Sirius, sighing heavily.

"Your badge is showing again, Prefect." Sirius said, and Remus glared.

"Look, don't get angry at me about this, we already had this conversation." Sirius waved a hand to cut Remus off, and grinned.

"I'm not mad. You just stopped Lily from killing him. I guess your Prefect-y powers can be used for good after all. James, give me my rook!" He called. The piece came flying over in their direction and Sirius deftly caught it from the air and set it on the chess board. "Play a game with me?"

"Yeah, I suppose so." Remus said boredly, arranging the pieces in the proper order. "Have you _ever_ won a game of this?"

"I always beat Andromeda. But I think she lets me win." Sirius said lightly. "Pawn to C-4."

Remus rolled his eyes and watched the pieces move.

[][][][][][]

"He's just a jerk, Lily, really." Remus said reassuringly.

It was nightfall now, and Remus and Lily were doing their scheduled patrol around the area of Gryffindor Tower. They turned down a hallway, and Lily sighed in exasperation.

"I know that. I really shouldn't have expected any different." Lily rolled her eyes lightly and looked around.

Remus was carefully steering them away from the portrait hole, as James and Sirius were making a bid for freedom toward Slytherin Dungeon, where yet another prank was to be played. They didn't _expressly_ ask for his help, but James had "suggested" that they avoid the stairs so that James, Sirius and Peter could get by, since they didn't fit under the Cloak anymore.

"He's really okay. He's just... you know... he's James." Remus shrugged helplessly. Lily giggled. "What?"

"You. Remus, you're such a good friend. I really don't understand how you can stand them."

"It's... hard to explain. I mean, I'm sure people ask you why you're friends with Severus."

The name caused Lily to frown, and then she nodded. "Yeah, I suppose they do. It's complicated." She laughed. "You're right, Remus. I guess we all can't explain why we're friends with people."

Remus paused a moment, then ventured forward. "Why... _are_ you friends with Severus?"

She heaved a sigh, and Remus was sure she was going to get angry, but instead she shrugged one shoulder. "You know I'm a Muggle-born, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well... Severus lives only a few blocks from me. When I was little, my sister and I used to go to the park down the street. Back then, I had this special power. I didn't understand it at all, but it was fun, and I used to play around in the park, just with my sister, no one else knew. And then one day Severus showed up, and he told me _everything_. And I don't just mean that it was magic, and that I was a witch, he told me about Hogwarts, and about the Ministry, and answered just about any question I could have. We waited for our letters together, we were so excited." She smiled a bit wistfully, and sighed, as though wishing she could go back to that time. "When we were sorted into different houses, well we grew a bit apart. But we shared Potions together, and so we used to pass notes in class and we partnered together. He helped me loads you know. It was so hard when I first came, and didn't know hardly any magic, and I was always confused. And everyone else seemed to be doing so much better than me. Including you!"

"Hey, I studied all the time." Remus interjected.

"Yes, so was I. Just to get passing marks." She looked upset, but shrugged. "But yeah, Severus was helpful. He might not be perfectly charming, or gorgeous, but he's a good loyal friend and he cares a lot more than you'd think. I think he got put in the wrong house. He wanted to go into Slytherin so bad, but I don't know why..."

Remus rested a hand on her arm, and she looked at him. "Well I think a good friend is a good thing to have. Even if no one else understands."

She laughed. "Remus, you are so..."

Rather than finishing her sentence, seconds later she was leaning forward and kissing him. He froze, his brain seeming to have entirely shut off. It wasn't a bad kiss in the slightest. But Remus had only just started kissing girls that summer, and now that he thought about it this was **Lily Evans**. James was going to cut him up into little tiny bits. And Severus, oh Merlin's pants, _Severus_.

They pulled apart, and seemed to realize at the exact same time that it had been a bad idea. Lily dissolved into the giggles again, and Remus spent a moment staring at a portrait of a lion, who yawned sleepily and rolled over. "Er..." Remus said, hearing his voice crack. He cleared his throat.

"Oh, don't worry Remus." She touched his hand lightly and tugged him back towards her. "I just wanted to see what it would be like."

He looked at her in confusion. "See what it would be like?"

"Well, you're very nice you know. And Matilda Robinson was completely wrong when she said those scars made you look creepy. And you and I... well... we've spent a lot of time together over the past few years. I just wanted to see if there was a spark."

"Spark?" This was the second time in as many minutes that Remus had repeatedly stupidly what Lily had said without understanding.

"You know. If we... connected. More than friends?" She looked embarrassed now.

"Oh!" Remus suddenly understood, and he smiled anxiously. "Oh. Well?"

"No, no spark." Lily hooked her arm into his jokingly as they walked down the hall.

"Okay. Can we... not tell James? Er... or Sirius. Or _anyone_..."

Lily laughed, but Remus waited until she promised. He really liked his friends, and didn't like the idea of James having to kill him out of some Marauders sense of honor. And he _really_ didn't want Severus to know that the thing he had been trying to prevent last year had happened.

[][][][][][]

Sirius and James were being secretive. Remus didn't like it. He didn't like it in the _slightest_. The moon was that night, and Sirius and James kept whispering around him like they were going to do something very dangerous, and Remus knew he didn't have the power or the energy to stop them. Dumbledore had picked the wrong Prefect to handle those two.

"What are you guys planning?" He demanded later that day as they walked to lunch.

Sirius immediately looked innocent. "I don't know what you are talking about, Moony."

"Ugh!" Remus said in exasperation. His temper was always a bit short when he was this close to changing. He could practically feel the moon behind the clouds, inching towards the horizon, mocking him, laughing as it watched him struggle just to carry books to class. "I hate all of you."

Peter laughed, and Remus curled his hand menacingly into a fist. Peter squeaked in terror, and ducked behind James. Sirius placed a hand on Remus' shoulder, sighing. "Moony, it's not a big deal. I promise, we aren't going to do anything foolish." He grinned. "Not more foolish than usual."

Remus made a face. "_Great_."

[][][][][][]

Remus stumbled up the passage. It would be dark in about fifteen minutes. He opened the trap down into the Shrieking Shack and climbed inside. He sighed very gently, and took off the sweatshirt and messy jeans that he had worn over his shorts and a t-shirt. At least this way he'd have some clothes to wear later. He tucked them into the broken down piano in the middle of the room, hiding them securely where they wouldn't get shredded to pieces. It was almost totally dark, except for a single beam of failing light coming in through a crack in the boarded up windows.

He looked around hopelessly, but his gaze kept drawing itself to the crack of light. He stared at it, watching as it grew darker and darker. His muscles suddenly screamed in pain, and he made a soft noise. A thick terror gripped him as he watched the light fade completely. It was dark.

Moments later, the darkness was pierced by a bolt of bright, white light. The clouds had parted to reveal the perfectly round moon, hanging heavy in the sky.

Remus let the terror engulf him, screwing his eyes shut and letting out an involuntary scream as he felt the first parts of the transformation. As the pain built to an unbearable crescendo, he could have sworn he heard noises from the passage. Just then, the wolf took over, and he knew no more.

[][][][][][]

"Fuck, James!"

"Merlin's beard, Sirius, where did you learn that language?"

"Your mum, now get off!"

James shifted and looked up at the wooden trap door. At the scream, all three of them had scrambled back. There had been lots of thumps, cries of pain, and growls. Sirius had grabbed James' arm and was squeezing it in a vice grip. James had extinguished his wand light, and they all waited in the dark. Peter was breathing too loudly, and James jabbed him to make him quiet down.

They had all stripped down to nothing but underwear, and hidden their clothing in a bush near the tree, but far enough away from the branches. Only James had kept his wand, and that was because he thought he would be the only one capable of keeping a hold on it when he went into his stag form. Then they'd all crawled through the passageway as quietly as possible, and waited, hearing Remus moving around. The transformation had been far worse than James was expecting. Just the pain in Remus' voice cut him to the core.

"Okay, ready?" James whispered. He felt rather than saw the other two nodding.

Within the span of a single minute, several things happened all at once. James shoved his wand between his teeth, shoved the trap door, and then thought very hard about the second mind that now resided within his own. Beside him, the other two boys were doing the same thing. Peter's form that had been pushing against them a moment earlier shrank down, and down. Sirius became a fuzzy shadow by his side, and James snorted from between his nostrils as the stag took over.

Dark. His antlers scraped against the top of the passage, sending dirt cascading. He twitched his ears. Below, something scurried. He scraped one great hoof against the ground. The scurrier squeaked, and after a moment the stag felt it clamber up his back leg to sit on his rump. He snorted again, turning his head to capture more sounds.

Next to him, a predator was snuffling along the ground. No, not predator. Just canine. Above him, another predator waited. Lupine this one. He sniffed, and listened, and heard the beast above them investigating the edges of the open doorway.

The canine moved first. No sense of hesitance. Only excitement buzzing at meeting another. The stag slowly clambered up out of the passage, hooves awkwardly finding holds and pulling him into the space. He pranced a bit on the wooden floors, his hooves making a clopping noise that was rather amusing. He hopped a bit, and the tips of his antlers scraped against the ceiling.

There was a yelp and whine, and the stag returned his attention to the two carnivores. They had started wrestling. The rodent on his back tittered nervously and moved closer to his shoulders. He snorted and shifted his two front hooves out of boredom.

The black dog, that was Sirius but wasn't, was sizable. He reached the stag's shoulders when he was standing. But the werewolf, that wasn't Remus in the slightest, was still twice as big. They weren't fighting, which was a good sign, but the werewolf was far more rough. He seemed for a moment to be debating whether or not to kill the dog outright. However, after a few more minutes, they broke away suddenly. Without another sound, the black dog rolled over on his stomach, revealing his throat and soft parts to the wolf.

The werewolf peered down with yellow eyes at the canine. The stag snorted a bit louder, and the werewolf seemed to suddenly realize there were two other beings in his space. A long, low growl was uttered. The black dog whined and jumped up, his whole body wriggling with the urge to please the wolf, tail wagging happily.

It seemed to take hours. Finally though, the wolf let out a blood-curdling howl that made the rodent squeak in terror and run in circles on the deer's withers, too afraid to leave the safety of the stag, but needing to run nonetheless. The dog immediately followed the howl with one of his own. The stag snorted and then let out a soft bellow.

And just like that, they were accepted. They were pack. The wolf dived into the passage and took off. The dog glanced at the stag just briefly, before they both followed.

[][][][][][]

They were running. The dog liked the running. The Sirius in the back of the dog's mind also enjoyed running. But mostly the Sirius was thinking thoughts like "_I can't believe we actually did it, I can't believe this worked!_"

The human's excitement made the dog even _more_ excited, and the dog broke into an even faster run, leaping to get ahead of the brown and beige wolf in front of him. Within seconds the wolf had snapped at him, and he obediently fell back to sprint alongside the stag. The rat was still holding onto the stag's shoulders, letting out terrified squeaking noises.

There was a great snap, and a crack. With a jump the wolf had seized upon a rabbit, and broken its neck. It had shaken it thoroughly, and was now tearing into the soft meaty flesh of the stomach, letting a spray of blood into the night air of the Forbidden Forest. The dog smelled the rabbit and wanted to share, but it obeyed the pack leadership, pacing back and forth from side to side, watching the wolf ripping the animal apart.

The stag behind him snorted. Sirius and the dog both knew that the deer was talking to him, and he sat down on his rump, scratching behind his ear as he listened to the noises that the stag/James was saying.

A grunt from the stag. _"This is going surprisingly well."_

He yipped. _"This is great!"_

One hoof scraping the dirt. _"Don't get too excited, this could all go downhill very quickly."_

A wag of a long black tail. _"This is fun! Don't ruin the fun!"_

The stag shook his head, nearly throwing off the rat. _"Watch it."_

At that moment, the wolf had decided it was done with its impromptu meal. It took off again, dashing into the forest. The dog immediately bounded after it. Behind him, the beating of hooves told him that the stag was also keeping up.

It went on like this for hours. After they had run for miles through the brush and trees of the forest, the wolf seemed to get tired. His great flat tongue lolled out of his mouth. Sirius was aware, through the dog, that it was growing close to dawn again. He and the stag seemed to agree on that. Very delicately, making sure to not let the wolf know what they were doing, they started to herd the wolf back towards the Willow, back towards the castle.

The wolf snapped its jaws rather lazily now, and the dog's running became a bit slower. It was tired. Sirius was tired. He didn't doubt that James was tired and so was the stag. He looked over, to see the rat curled up and asleep in between two huge antlers. He sighed a doggy sigh, and the wolf yawned with a whine.

They arrived back at the edge of the forest, just in time to see the dawn peeking over the horizon. The wolf suddenly collapsed, and the dog whined in concern. The stag watched, and the rat sat up from its slumber.

The dog inched forward and nudged its cold nose against the shoulder of the wolf. With a snarl the wolf snapped and bit down hard on Sirius' snout. It didn't even break the skin, and a moment later the wolf was releasing him. It thrashed, letting out one last desperate howl, and the three boys/animals watched with a mixture of horror and disgust as with cracks and cries of pain the wolf disappeared, to reveal an exhausted and pained looking Remus.

The shaggy black dog approached again, still whining gently. Remus may have been human outwardly, but there was something of the wolf lingering in pale yellow eyes that were only just now switching back to golden brown. His face contorted in anger and his human throat attempted to form a growl, but Sirius was already taking over.

Back in human form, the dark-haired boy was wrapping his arms around Remus, pulling him closer. Behind him, he heard two bodies moving, and was aware that James and Peter were also back, moving around in the darkness. James hissed something at Peter, and quickly the boy ran off, presumably to fetch the rest of their clothes.

Remus thrashed one last time, but finally a beam of full sunlight burst through the trees at the edge of the woods and he fell still. Sirius cradled the teen's head in his lap for a moment, as Remus gazed around in confusion.

"What..." He croaked, looking up at Sirius. There was sudden fear in his eyes.

"You're okay. Peter went to get us clothes. We brought you a spare." Sirius said, letting go of Remus as the other tried to move.

James was looking around, holding his wand in one hand. Sirius marveled at the fact that he had managed to keep his grip on it this entire time. Then again, James was also more in control of his stag form. Sirius had really just been going by instinct the entire night. Remus struggled into a sitting position, now looking at the two of them with a clearer gaze than a minute ago.

"Merlin's pants, what the hell are you doing out here?" Remus demanded in a torn voice.

"We were with you." James cleared his throat as his voice cracked, and it sounded more whiny than he intended.

"What!" Remus was squinting at them with bloodshot eyes. He looked at Sirius more closely. "M-merlin... Sirius... your _face_..."

Sirius ran a hand over his face, and felt the indentations of the bite that the wolf had delivered on his face over his nose. Remus was shaking hard, and Sirius quickly leaned forward. "It's fine, Moony!" He said.

"It's not fine!" Remus shouted, and then put his hands on either side of his head, as though he were trying to hold his skull together so it just didn't explode into pieces.

"I was a dog, you can't pass lycanthropy on to animals!" Sirius was trying to explain, as Peter arrived with his arms full of clothing.

James quickly grabbed a pair of pants and dragged them on. "It worked, Moony!" He said excitedly. He had that look on his face like he did whenever they performed really advanced magic without even a bit of help from the teachers. "We're Animagi!"

Remus seemed unsettled by this, blindly taking a pair of pants from Peter. He could barely even get them on, his fingers were clumsy. Sirius watched with bated breath, until Remus, now shivering, got onto his feet unsteadily and pulled a jumper over himself. When he was dressed again, he seemed to finally hear what James had said.

"You... you... you were animals?" He struggled with the words, confusion showing on his face. Sirius yanked a shirt over his head, and they all started to walk out of the woods and onto the grounds. The dawn light had dimmed as clouds had gathered.

Remus made it to the castle, but once there he seemed to have been hit by a Jelly-legs Jinx. James and Sirius each looped an arm underneath him, and took him to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey watched as the four boys came in, and Remus was laid in a bed. She made no comment on the leaves in James' hair, or the marks and bruises on Sirius, or the fact that none of the four were wearing any socks or shoes.

Sirius sat down as Remus took the potion for his headache, and tried to keep from bouncing up and down in his seat. "So? How do you feel?"

Remus was massaging his temples, trying very hard to figure out what was going on. "Actually," He admitted after thinking about it a moment, "I feel pretty good. Sore... my hands and feet especially."

"Well you were running the whole night." Sirius showed his own paws – er, _hands_ – to Remus. They were raw and red, and a few splinters were sticking out of them. His feet weren't in much better shape. "You can run for a bloody long time."

The sandy-haired teen looked as though he were fighting down the smile that was tugging at the corner of his mouth. "That was still dangerous. The wolf could have killed you."

Sirius smirked. "It was a risk we wanted to take, Moony."

[][][][][][]

During classes that day, none of the teachers could understand why the four boys that usually made their lives a living hell were all fighting to stay awake. In History of Magic, only Remus managed to maintain consciousness, and the entire class had a good giggle as they discovered that Sirius Black snored.

"Merlin's beard, how do you _do_ this, Remus?" James said with a yawn later that day. They were all lounging in their spot in front of the fireplace. Peter was asleep on the floor, and Sirius was sprawled out, his head resting on Remus' thigh.

Remus himself was reading a book. He looked a little worse for wear, but he looked up and smiled a bit. "You don't seem to understand, James. This is the best I have _ever_ felt after a moon. Usually I wake up in a pile of my own blood with a migraine that would kill a hippogriff, and Madam Pomfrey has to come fetch me because I can't even move on my own. Today..." He looked extraordinarily pleased. "Despite the fact that I've been pulling _rabbit_ out of my teeth for the last four hours, I feel pretty damn amazing."

"We're going to need more caffeine if we are going to do this once a freaking month." Sirius said, nearly incoherent as he adjusted himself on Remus' leg in order to nap.

James made a sound and his head collapsed backwards onto the pillows of the armchair, and he stretched out his long legs to sit sideways with a yawn.

Remus looked at all of them, a crooked smile on his lips. Without realizing it, his hands had slowly started to run through the wispy strands of Sirius' hair, the other teenager having already fallen asleep against him. He sure had some friends.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: WOOOOO. Finally, the boys are Animagi. We're very quickly getting into the most action-packed year of the entire story. Well, one of the most action packed years. In any case, I am super tired from doing all this writing, and need a nap.

Also, before I forget. I would like to know what your guys' opinion is on this. I'm going to be using a lot more strong language in coming chapters, not to mention there may be some romance that is NSFW. Do you think I should censor myself with *** or use alternative words, or should I simply change the rating? OR, should I keep the rating where it is, and just put warnings at the top of each chapter (like I did in this one) telling people if there is any potentially offensive content within. Thanks for telling me!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_NonrealityRocks, Padfoot's Blondie, __freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh, LoverFaery: _WOOOOO FOR REVIEWS. You guys keep me in such a good mood. =D_  
_


	21. Chapter 21: The Incident

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Fall, 1975. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language.

[][][][][][]

Severus Snape was staring at him. Remus slowly peered over his shoulder to the Slytherin. Snape was conveniently staring at his cauldron. However, a moment later Severus glanced up between strands of dark hair, and for a split second their eyes met. Remus felt a shiver go down his spine at the morbid curiosity and hatred he felt in that second of a connection. He quickly turned back around, chewing on his lower lip as he slowly sliced up his lemongrass. He still felt a pair of beady, black eyes drilling into the back of his skull.

Sirius next to him was fidgeting. Remus had taken it upon himself to carefully prepare their ingredients. He could not afford to let Sirius get impatient and overzealous with the potion. "Next?"

The teen groaned. Remus rolled his eyes. "_Padfoot_. What next?"

Sirius broke into a grin, and his finger found the part on the textbook page they were reading. "Er... slice the lemongrass."

"I just did that." Remus tapped his knife against the table impatiently.

"Oh. Crush five beetles – gross by the way – and remove the shells before stirring them in."

"Thank you." Remus grabbed one of the dead beetles and set it on the wooden cutting board, pressing the flat of the blade against the beetle's back until it popped – too much like a peanut for Remus' appetite. He peeled off the shell and put the rest of the beetles in the cauldron, watching the color.

Sirius fidgeted again. Remus sighed. "Moony, do you think James has come up with a Marauder name yet?"

Remus glanced over at James. James had just poured the beetles in, shells and all, because he was busy staring longingly over at Lily, who was deliberately ignoring him as she worked with Snape. "No, I really don't think so."

Sirius flicked a beetle leg at James, who jerked back to attention, nearly dropping the knife in the potion. "What, Sirius?"

"Padfoot!" Sirius said haughtily. "We shouldn't call each other by our _given_ names. It's too... common. Like all marauding armies of old, we need proper battle names! These are the names of warriors!"

James smirked. "So what do you think of Cloven?"

Sirius stared at him. "What? Cloven is all you can come up with? For Merlin's sake! James it's been a month."

Peter perked up. "I still want to be called Scurrier."

"That is an equally stupid name." Sirius said, as Remus turned around to slowly pour in three drops of Laughing Stock.

"I don't see how Padfoot is all that amazing." James grumbled, but he seemed to consider it. "I thought we were going with a foot theme, that's why I picked Cloven."

Sirius sighed dramatically. "What about... Hart. That's another word for stag."

James shook his head. Remus turned to talk to them, and spotted Snape looking at him again. He paused, his train of thought lost, and then blinked. "I like Scurrier." He attempted.

Sirius waved him off. "No no. It's got to be a physical description. Pad. Foot." He tapped his palm. "Why don't you do something with antlers, James? Points? Er... Pointy? Velvet? No..."

Remus blinked. "Prongs?"

All three boys stopped and looked at him. He looked surprised as a grin broke over Sirius' and James' mouths simultaneously. "Brilliant!" They both cried out. Slughorn looked over at them, and suddenly they were all very preoccupied checking their potions, Remus giving the potion one counter-clockwise stir and then reading the instructions.

"Prongs it is." Sirius said after Slughorn had walked by without stopping.

"What about me?"

"We'll get to you, Pete." Sirius said dismissively.

[][][][][][]

"Why did you spend the whole hour looking at Remus?" Sirius demanded. His wand was pointed between Severus' eyes, and the other boy was glaring furiously at him. He'd managed to trap the greasy-haired teen in a corner, performing a Leg-Locker Curse so that the Slytherin couldn't run off.

"Stuff it Black. I know you think that the world revolves around you and your little friends..." Snape trailed off as Sirius jabbed the wand into his cheek.

"You were looking. I'm not stupid."

"Really? That comes as a _complete_ surprise."

Sirius was growing impatient. "I will use this thing, Snivellus, now would you just talk so I can go on with my day pretending that you don't exist except in my nightmares?"

"You dream about me? I'm flattered Black."

Sirius punched him. It was very satisfying. It did not, however, encourage Snape to talk, and so Sirius left him there in the hall with the curse to hop around and find someone with the willingness to undo it.

He stomped down to the Great Hall and slumped into the lunch table. Remus had been reading an article in the Daily Prophet, and now he looked over the edge of the paper, raising an eyebrow. "You took a while in the bathroom."

"Asking me about my pissing habits?" Sirius said, rather grumpily though he didn't mean to be.

Remus seemed nonplussed. "You would probably be better suited asking Madam Pomfrey about that." He rustled the paper and went back to reading.

"Prongs." Sirius turned to James, who was gazing down the table at a gaggle of girls. Sirius recognized a head of crimson among them, and groaned. He flung a piece of bread at James, who jerked up. "Thank you. Now, I've got an idea."

James didn't really look interested, and Sirius waited patiently until he sighed. "Okay, Padfoot, what."

"We need a map." Sirius said excitedly.

Remus was now listening. Not openly, but Sirius had noticed the newspaper moved down a hair, and the tips of Remus' ears were now visible. James raised an eyebrow. "We already know where everything is."

"Yes but... this would be a special map." Sirius bounced excitedly, and Peter nearly choked on the crust of his sandwich. "It would show _us_."

"Show us what."

"Well, remember this summer when Remus took us to that place, and there was a map with the whole downtown area, and in the middle of the map had a little triangle that said 'you are here'?"

"Yeah, I remember." The newspaper had inched a bit lower, and now Remus' eyes were peering over the edge, watching him.

"Well what if we had a map like that, only not only did it tell us where we were anywhere in the castle and on the grounds, but it also told us where everyone else is!"

James sat up a bit straighter. He stopped glancing furtively over at Lily and her friends, and he started to scratch his chin. Remus huffed, setting down the paper. "Realistically, that map would be enormous! There are hundreds of _thousands_ of rooms, hallways, floor after floor, all the towers and dungeons and basements and not to mention the grounds. There's no possible way you could make it on a singe piece of paper without making it the size of this whole damn table!"

"No..." James was thinking now, and Sirius' grin grew even wider. "We could make it in layers. It would fold up."

"But Hogwarts is Unplottable, you can't put it on a map."

"No," James repeated, cleaning his glasses on his robes. "You can't put it on a map of like... England, or Europe or whatever. You can't map it in reference to another place. But, if you are doing a map that only involves Hogwarts, nothing else... we wouldn't be able to put Hogsmeade on there, and probably a part of the Forbidden Forest, but we could put in the lake and Hagrid's hut, and all the secret passages..."

Remus was looking peaky, and Sirius chimed in. "And the little triangles, they could move!"

"Oh, we should make them into little footsteps." Peter suggested, and James' eyes brightened at the thought.

"Brilliant Wormtail!"

"But... you can't..." Remus looked helplessly at his three friends.

Sirius smirked. "Moony, think of the _books_ you'd get to read. Think of the precedence. Think of the glory! We'd be the first magical mappers of Hogwarts!"

"Cartographers." Remus corrected inanely. "Magical cartographers."

"No Moony, we're making a _map_, not carts. Honestly, are you even _listening_?"

The werewolf's mouth parted as though he was going to say something, and then after a moment, the newspaper slowly rose back into place, obscuring his face. Sirius thought he heard a sound rather like a strangled groan, and then he turned back to James, who was already ticking off on his fingers the supplies and books they were going to need.

[][][][][][]

"This is the last ruddy time I'm going to ask."

"Oh, because the other times were _so_ effective. Why don't you just punch me and get it over with?"

"Believe you me, I'm resisting the urge."

The black eyes of Severus Snape looked up at Sirius. Sirius had knocked him completely on the floor, and now the Slytherin sat sprawled in the abandoned hallway. "For the last time, I haven't been making googly eyes at your _boyfriend_."

Sirius scowled. "You've been watching him for the past week. I was nice before, but next I'm going to make you vomit slugs until tomorrow morning. I bet your housemates will love that."

A slow grin passed over Severus' face, and Sirius felt all the blood in his body immediately go rushing past his ears. "Why don't you do the easy thing and just sic _Moony_ on me?"

"Shut the hell up, you have no right to use that name. Wait... what do you mean?"

"Oh _please_. I know that you know. Vanishes once a month, comes back the next day looking like hell, you four aren't the only people in the world taking Defense Against the Dark Arts you know. And just yesterday I pulled _these_ off his book bag!" Severus' hand dug into his pocket and extracted three long brown, wiry hairs. "Do you think I should take them to Dumbledore? See what he thinks of your little friend? Where have you been hiding him once a month? I know you have something to do with it, only you could be so stupid as to let a monster patrol around the school like it means nothing."

Sirius did actually punch Severus this time, and as the teen stumbled backwards he was laughing, a horrid, nasally laugh that became liquidy as his nose began to bleed. "You vile, slime-covered scum." Sirius hissed. There was no way to get out of this now. Severus would know just by Sirius' reaction that his guesses had been spot on. Now Sirius' prime enemy knew what Remus was, knew he was a werewolf, and he was going to do something about it.

Severus wiped his nose unceremoniously on his sleeve and grinned. "Touched a nerve, Black?"

"I hope you slam into the Whomping Willow!" Sirius hissed. "While you're trying to hunt down 'clues' to prove your little theory. And I hope that it beats you to a bloody pulp before you _ever_ lay a finger on that knot!"

Oh _shit_. Snape blinked. Sirius sucked in his breath. He hadn't meant to say that. He hadn't meant to reveal it to _him_. He had just been so angry. D_on't read into that_. "The Whomping Willow?" He hissed, and Sirius felt something akin to fear for the first time in his young life.

"Yes. The Whomping Willow. I hope it... whomps you." Sirius said, dragging himself to his full height and glaring down at the slimeball in front of him. He tried to play it off as though he had brought the Willow into the conversation merely to confuse Snape. The Slytherin wasn't buying it.

"No, that's not what you said." Severus gazed at Sirius curiously, trying to decipher what the boy was getting at.

"Sod off, Snivellus." Sirius whirled and stomped off, leaving the Slytherin in the middle of the hallway with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Oh shit, oh shit." Sirius was confused by what had just occurred, but the cold fear gripped him even tighter than ever. What did Severus intend to do anyway? Take his news to Dumbledore, probably. Dumbledore who was helping Remus keep his secret. He would force Severus to keeping the secret through any means necessary. Probably Obliviate him. Right, that's what was going to happen.

Snape would never do something as stupid as actually go out to the Whomping Willow and poke it until he found the passageway. Sirius recalled pointedly that he had not even revealed the fact that there _was_ a secret passageway. So Severus would just investigate, hopefully get his brains pounded in, and then give up. Right. If he even went near the Whomping Willow.

"Right," Sirius repeated to himself, taking a deep breath and calming down. Things would sort themselves out.

[][][][][][]

Two days later, Remus gathered up all his things after dinner and handed them over to Sirius. "I'll see you guys... later." He said, and there was a hint of a grin on his face as he headed out of the Great Hall. This was only the third moon that they would be joining him on, but Remus was already happier than he had ever been. Sirius had noticed it. His shoulders no longer curved down like an old man's, and he frowned less, and he even seemed more _normal_, if that was a good word for it.

Sirius, James, and Peter all changed into clothes that were easy to transform in and out of. Keeping their clothes on while Animagi was a trick they were still mastering. It was possible to change with their entire outfits intact, but they had to concentrate. James had read somewhere that tight-fitting, light clothing, like tank tops, t-shirts, or sweatpants, changed more easily because they were closer to the skin. James was the best at keeping his clothes, managing to even wear jeans without losing them. Sirius had yet to master the art of pants. James joked that it was because Sirius wasn't a big fan of pants to begin with.

James stacked a few extra clothes and an outfit for Remus on an armchair. The common room was filled with people at this time of day, but they were getting better at sneaking out of the portrait hole. James also had the Cloak, which they wore out to the Willow and then left in a safe place to retrieve when morning came around.

"James!" Matilda piped up, coming over and standing right in front of the bespectacled boy, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Er... Hi Mattie." He said kindly, moving so the clothing was hidden behind himself.

"I was wondering... if you wanted to study with me?" Her hands were behind her back, and her chest was puffed out lightly, and James found himself hard pressed not to look at the front of her ultra-tight sweater.

"I'd love to really, but... studying isn't my thing."

"Well... that's okay. We don't have to _study_." One of her fingers trailed a line down the front of James' chest, and he fought back the urge to chuckle at the ticklish sensation.

Sirius was sitting on the sofa and peering out one of the windows. He adjusted himself, looking at the grounds. James assumed that he was watching for the sunset. They had all agreed – after having to listen to Remus transform the first time – that they much preferred showing up after the werewolf was already changed. No offense to Remus, but it was a terrible process to have to listen to, and this way was far less obvious to the other students as well.

"Listen, Mattie."

"Come oooon, Jamie." She said sweetly. He grimaced.

"Really, I..." He looked over at Sirius one more time. This time Sirius' posture was no longer one of idle curiosity. Now his back was stiff, his shoulders were straight out, and his face had the exact same expression on it that a dog who had just caught a scent usually had, his nose pointed down out the window. "Sirius?"

Sirius looked up at him, and James knew something was wrong. "Er, I left something... in Transfiguration!" The dark-haired boy announced, jumping up off the sofa.

"Right. I'll go with you to get it. Wormtail! Come on!"

Peter appeared from where ever he had been a moment ago, and James barely even glanced at Matilda before scooping up the clothing and heading for the hallway. Once they were outside, Sirius turned to him.

"I might have done something bad..."

James was being quiet. Sirius didn't like it when James was quiet. The fact of the matter was, James was only quiet for two reasons. The first reason was when they were under the Invisibility Cloak trying not to get caught. This was the exciting kind of quiet, the kind where Sirius could hear James breathing and feel his heart pounding. The only other time was when James was very angry.

When Sirius was mad, he broke things. He cursed people, and jinxed his friends, and was generally annoyed and brooding. When James was mad though, he just got very quiet, and he would think over his words, and he would choose the words that could do the most damage, before delivering a scathing remark, or letting the words build up inside him until they exploded in anger. He also sometimes punched things. Sirius hoped that James would not punch him.

"You told him about the Willow." James finally said, and Sirius exhaled slowly in relief.

"Yeah, but..."

"You told him to hit the _knot_ on the Willow."

"Well... not word for word. I mean, I didn't go, 'Hey, Remus is hiding in a secret passageway that you can get to by hitting the knot in the Willow.' I just... told him that I hoped the Willow hit him a few good ones. The bit about the knot came out accidentally"

"So Snivellus comes up to you and tells you that he knows Remus is a... is fuzzy," He lowered his voice as a few students walked by. They were all huddled in a curve underneath some stairs. Peter was holding the clothing and the Cloak and looking very nervous. "And you tell him to go _poke_ the Willow?"  
"Prongs, it wasn't like that."

"What _was_ it like!" James was raising his voice now, his eyes flashing dangerously. Sirius felt rather like a small child, and that didn't help his mood at all. "Please Pads, shower us with your infinite wisdom!"

"I thought he was going to go to Dumbledore!" Sirius finally shot back, curling his hands into fists. "I thought that he was only telling me to get my goat, and he was going to go to Dumbledore first and then Dumbledore would give him some excuse and forbid him from doing anything stupid!"

"Snivellus isn't going to go to Dumbledore! He thinks he's got to prove without a doubt so that he can prove he's better than everyone else!" James hissed. He was rubbing the side of his head. Rather hysterically, Sirius recalled that Remus did the exact same thing when Sirius was being insufferable.

"Oh sod off! How was I supposed to know that he was going to try and hit the Whomping Willow! No one touches the damn thing!"

"He wouldn't have if you hadn't TOLD HIM TO GO HIT IT!" James roared angrily, and Sirius ducked backwards as James swung at him in his anger.

Now the two boys were both angry. James' chest was heaving as he steadied himself, and Sirius was frustrated as hell that James was getting so angry over _nothing_. "The chances that he'll actually hit the damn thing are impossible!"

James fisted one hand in his hair, presumably in an attempt to occupy his fingers with something other than beating the snot out of Sirius. "You idiot! There are only so many knots on the fucking tree to begin with! If he keeps plugging away at it like he does with his fucking potions then OF COURSE HE'LL HIT IT."

Sirius was fuming, but he really had no argument. "Oh! Sh-shut up!"

"WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN WHEN HE FINDS THE PASSAGE?" James was shouting now, but thankfully the area was deserted. Of course all the yelling was going to attract someone sooner or later. James jabbed a finger at the nearest window. "REMUS IS ALREADY TRANSFORMED, YOU GREAT SODDING MORON! DO YOU THINK HE'D EVER FORGIVE HIMSELF IF HE HURT SOMEONE?"

The older – and stupider – of the two of them froze. Peter made a sort of half-strangled sound, and James stood, his face red, pointing at the window. It was dark out, and a few white beams of moon were piercing the clouds. Sirius' mouth opened, but he really had nothing to say. James was, unfortunately, _right_.

"Shit." He finally said.

[][][][][][]

James seemed to calm down significantly now that Sirius was no longer arguing with him. Instead he straightened up, and seemed to immediately take charge. "Okay, Pete, you go find McGonagall, or Dumbledore, or ANYONE, and tell them that you saw Severus Snape sneaking around on the grounds after dark. Hell, if you can find Hagrid, that would be _perfect_." Peter dropped everything and ran for it. James grabbed the Cloak and whirled around. "When did you see Snape?"

Sirius thought about it, "Er... I think it was twenty minutes ago, what with all the yelling and-"

"We've got no time, we have to go get him ourselves." James wrapped the Cloak around the two of them and started to run. It was extremely difficult to run while under the Cloak, but Sirius was managing to keep up. They jogged down to the front of the castle, sidestepped Miss Penny, and escaped out the front door.

Once they were half-way across the lawn, James made an annoyed noise and dragged the Cloak off. He let it fly behind him like a flag as he broke into a sprint. "When we get there, you go dog and distract Remus, I'll get Snape. Don't let him see you change!" He was yelling over his shoulder. Sirius for a moment marveled at James' plans, thought up generally on the spot and always bloody brilliant.

They arrived at the Willow. No one was there, and the tree was moving and swaying. Either Snape had given up, or he'd already gotten in. James looked around frantically and saw a long stick off to the side. "_Wingardium Leviosa_!" James shouted, and the stick flew with frantic speed between the branches and hit the knot hard. The tree froze.

James scrambled forward and jumped into the passageway. Sirius followed. They could hear movement up ahead, a great scraping noise, and quieter padding noises. Snape, Sirius guessed, was trying to sneak up to the Shack. They hurried forward, not bothering to light their wands. They saw a light towards the end, and they heard the scraping and growling growing louder.

Finally they saw Snape. He had his lit wand in front of him, and he was mumbling to himself. His wand was moving above his head, examining the wooden trap door. Above, Sirius heard the sounds of Remus moving around. He was surprised it wasn't louder. But the wolf had been calmer ever since it had gotten its monthly runs around the forest, and he could only conclude that it was waiting for them to arrive.

James bumped his head on a root, and hissed without meaning to. Snape whirled around. "You!" He shouted. Suddenly there was silence from above.

All three boys watched as the trap door suddenly rattled, one giant paw scratching against it. They heard sniffing, and Severus turned white as a sheet as there was a howl. Even Sirius felt his stomach drop into his knees at the howl. It was filled with pain, and rage, and a certain sadistic glee, as the wolf realized that there was a human below him that he didn't recognize as being one of the pack. Then there was a great crash, and Sirius realized with sickening alarm that the wolf was slamming itself into the ground to try and break the trap door. But it was nearly six inches thick and reinforced with metal underneath. The howl came again, and Severus looked at it.

"Is that him?" Severus demanded as the howl was followed by barks and whines and furious scraping and pounding. He pointed his wand at the door again. "Is that the _beast_? Did you think you would send me here to die?" Snape was hysterical, ranting and shouting, and before either of them could react he shrieked, "ALOHOMORA."

Sirius had no idea what possessed Severus to unlock the door. He couldn't possibly have been that stupid. Sirius reacted on instinct. James was shouting something, Sirius thought it was the Body-Bind Curse but really had no idea. He went dog instantly and leapt through the open door, just in time to keep the wolf from jumping down as it had been about to.

He tackled it into the piano, and he felt one of the legs break and the entire instrument fell sideways and partially on the dog's hindquarters. He whined, and scrambled out from under it as the wolf made another bid for the hole in the floor. He grabbed the wolf's back leg, biting down hard and yanking back. The wolf turned on him, swiping him hard and sending him into the wall. He got up, one back paw trailing, and circled to the trap door to put himself between the wolf and the humans still in the tunnel. James was still yelling, but after another moment Sirius in the back of the dog's mind understood him. "COME ON SIRIUS!"

The dog obeyed, falling backwards into the hole. He transformed back as he hit the ground, reaching up and yanking the trap door back down. "_Colloportus_!" James shouted. Snape was still frozen, and Sirius collapsed against the tunnel wall. Above them, the wolf had become livid. The scraping and pounding became furious, the barks, growls, and howls even more filled with rage.

"Help me drag him." James demanded, lighting his wand and holding it up. Sirius however, didn't have to respond, because James seemed to grow stark white as he saw the state that Sirius was in. "Bloody hell... I..."

Sirius was barely conscious and fighting through the pain, and he heard James letting out a string of curses as he tried to think. A moment later, James had swished his wand through the air and flicked it back, and Sirius felt himself floating. Snape in front of him was still frozen, but he too was hovering, his black eyes wandering everywhere, glittering dangerously.

They emerged from the passageway, and James had to half-drag Sirius a bit because his Hover Charm wasn't quite strong enough to do much more than move them a few inches off the ground. Once they were in place, Sirius blearily attempted to sit up. Snape was still locked in place, but Sirius could see his face had become rather beet-like in color as he clearly attempted to speak despite the curse. Sirius felt almost amused in a way, realizing that they were sitting in the middle of the Hogwarts' grounds with James, who was near hysterics, Snape, who was trapped in a curse but clearly about to have a brain aneurysm, and Sirius, who was wearing only a pair of boxers and his leg twisted up in a way that legs just didn't.

"Stay still, I've got to find some way to get you to the hospital wing..." James said, kneeling next to Sirius and looking at him worriedly.

"I believe, Mr. Potter, that I can handle that." James turned, and the glow at the tip of his wand lit up the figure walking towards them, blue light glinting off of a pair of half-moon spectacles.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Aaaand. Another cliffhanger. I was really influenced by several other fanfictions when I wrote this. The Incident is of course a very popular bit of Marauder's history, as it is both canon, and yet left vague enough in the books that JKR really left us wide open to interpret it as we will. I never believed that Sirius would ever maliciously send Severus to die at the hands of Remus. First of all, despite the fact that Sirius was a prankster and hated Severus, he never caused anyone permanent harm, and I don't think he is capable of killing someone that is "innocent". (Of course he was willing to kill Death Eaters and Peter, but they had already proved they were more than guilty of terrible crimes). And second of all, Sirius knows only too well how Remus struggled with his lycanthropy, and he would never "sic" Remus on anyone because he knows the repercussions, not just Azkaban or anything like that, but the emotional consequences it would have on his friend. With that said, I hope you enjoy my interpretation.

Also, I've decided to keep the Teen Rating until someone complains about it. Instead, any chapters that contain offensive language or content will be labeled up at the top, so that anyone with sensitive tastes can skip those chapters or whatever it is they do. I think Teen is more than good enough. If you have a problem with this, feel free to send me an email or mention it in your review, and we can discuss it.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_LoverFaery, freakyprincess-87, Padfoot's Blondie, NonrealityRocks, pshhh yeahh: _My personal fan club? I don't know what to call you guys except AWESOME. Keep reviewing and I'll keep writing!


	22. Chapter 22: Guilt and Gryffindors

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: End of term 1975. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Minerva, please take Mr. Black to the hospital wing." Dumbledore flicked his wand at Snape, who was immediately freed. As McGonagall moved forward and muttered a few things at Sirius, Severus stumbled to his feet. Everything that he had been unable to say in the last few minutes came pouring out of his mouth.

"A WEREWOLF. They sent me to a werewolf! _Him_!" He pointed at Sirius, who was floating away on a summoned stretcher behind McGonagall. "Black sent me to die at the hands of a _werewolf_! Headmaster, Remus Lupin! He's a werewolf! AND THEY TOLD ME TO GO FIND HIM. Black told me to hit the knot on the Willow! I've been suspecting things for months, and I finally confronted him and he told me to go to the Willow, he practically _dared_ me to! And then Potter, he cursed me!"

"I SAVED YOUR RUDDY LIFE!" James exploded with anger, and Dumbledore immediately raised a hand. Both boys fell perfectly silent.

"James." He said carefully. "Is Remus all right?"

James subsided, and Snape started to speak. Dumbledore pointed a single thin finger at him, and nodded to James. "Yes. Yes, he's fine. I... Sirius managed to get the door closed again."

He looked at Snape suspiciously. The moment that he had petrified Snape he had also put his hand over Snape's eyes. If James had done it correctly, he had dragged Snape away from the doorway with no knowledge of Sirius' Animagus form or what had transpired. _If_. He was pretty sure that Snape would be saying something about that right now though. If they were asked, they could always say that the Whomping Willow hit Sirius when they had come to rescue Snape.

Dumbledore looked over at the tree. Off in the distance they heard a long howl. "We should come to my office now. We will discuss where to go from there."

[][][][][][]

James had been in this office many times. The circular room with all its shiny metal bits spinning and spewing out smoke. He'd sat in this very chair every time, the one on the left, Sirius was always in the one on the right. Now Severus Snape was sitting in it, his hands gripping the arms of the chair as though the chair were about to take off into the air like the little water rockets that Remus had shown them that summer. James ran his fingers over the wood, worn smooth from decades of sweaty, nervous hands clutching them while headmasters of old stared down from the huge desk. James didn't like that Dumbledore's massive chair sat a bit higher than their chairs, because it made the headmaster look even more imposing than usual.

"Would either of you boys like some tea?" Dumbledore said, as he waved his wand at a teapot sitting on a side table. Immediately the pot began to whistle. He looked over expectantly, and when both boys shook their heads tersely, he merely shrugged as if to say "more for me" and poured the boiling water into a cup, dipping a tea bag in and out of it as he returned to his desk. He sat down and spent a moment making his tea. With a flick of his wand he sent the teabag into the trash, and summoned a slice of lemon, squeezing it into the cup. Another swish, and the liquid in the cup stirred itself. Snape moved forward in his chair, and Dumbledore shook his head. "Severus, I am going to have to ask that you wait just a moment. I always feel more awake and relaxed after the first sip of tea."

Snape leaned back again. James watched as Dumbledore brought the cup up to his lips and took a sip. The headmaster sighed, and then settled into his chair. "All right. Severus, if you would be so kind as to remain perfectly silent while James speaks. James, you will tell me everything you know of what happened tonight, in your own words and with perfect honesty, and with _no_ insults, biases, or crudeness."

James took a deep breath, and sighed. "Tonight in the common room, Sirius spotted Sni... _Severus_ heading out to the Willow. We'd... We'd known about Remus for a while. About where he went on the full moons. We were keeping his secret too. Well Sirius... he told me that he might have let slip a few details about the Whomping Willow to Severus earlier that day. Sirius told me himself that he never meant to tell Snape about the Willow, it came out while they were... arguing, and Snape took it the wrong way-"

"Headmaster!"

Dumbledore's gaze turned to Snape, and the Slytherin shrank into his chair. Emboldened, James continued. "Sirius said he didn't _mean_ to say anything. He was angry, Sirius is always stupid when he's angry. And he never thought that Snape would be st – that he would think it was a good idea to go have a poke at the Whomping Willow. He thought that Snape was going to come to you or a teacher first..."

"Yes well, that might have been a wise idea." Dumbledore commented blandly. Snape looked ashamed at first, and then completely indignant, as though Dumbledore was blaming him for the entire fiasco.

After a moment the elderly wizard frowned carefully and set his teacup down. "Now. Severus, if you will please tell your side of the story, with complete honesty, and no insults or biases."

Severus had been preparing for this, and he straightened up pridefully and pointed an accusing finger at James. "Headmaster, they have been keeping a werewolf right under your nose! They have been hiding him in this secret passage! I suspected that Remus Lupin was a monster-"

"No biases, please."

"That Remus Lupin was a _werewolf_," he still managed to make the word "werewolf" sound like "monster", but Dumbledore said nothing, "over a month ago. I know he is one. Sirius Black told me... he told me that if I was so curious I should go hit the Whomping Willow's knot to find more clues. He knew what was hiding behind that thing, he knew about the passage. He sent me to certain death out there! James cursed me and covered my eyes so I wouldn't be able to see the beast – I mean, wolf – as if that would help!"

James inwardly sighed in relief. At least one secret had been maintained that night. Sirius' dog form had not been seen, and Severus had obviously not interpreted the noises above him as two animals fighting, but only as the werewolf's noises.

It was quiet in the office for a long time. James fought down a yawn. Dumbledore eventually set his empty teacup on a stack of books at the corner of his desk. Finally, he sighed. "It seems to me that one thing is for certain here. James, you saved Severus' life. Although. Both groups in this matter made grievous errors in judgment. First of all, Mr. Potter," he switched to an official tone quickly, and James winced, "you and your friends should have informed me when you discovered this secret. It is my duty to assure that Remus Lupin's stay at Hogwarts is comfortable, despite his condition. Yes, Mr. Snape, I've known for a very long time that Mr. Lupin suffers from lycanthropy. I am the one who put those safeguards into place that you foolishly dived into tonight. Mr. Black's actions were equally foolish, but I have no doubt in my mind that the young man did not say what he said with the intention of causing Mr. Snape harm. As boys, your heads are too filled with emotion to stay rational in a time of crisis. Mr. Potter, you showed a venerable exception to this rule tonight, in going out and finding Mr. Snape before great harm would befall him. Mr. Snape, you showed a complete lack of judgment. Going to the den of a werewolf on the night of the full moon was one of the most foolish things you could have ever done, and it would have also been the last thing you ever did. I want you to think about this, and the consequences of your actions, very deeply."

He folded his long, thin hands together like a steeple before himself on the desk. James twitched. This was the part when the headmaster doled out punishments.

"I believe that everyone has learned a lesson tonight. Mr. Potter, fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor for Mr. Black's willingness to give away sensitive information. Mr. Snape, twenty points will be taken from Slytherin for gross misconduct and risking your life rather than coming to a teacher or myself. However, Mr. Potter, for your brave actions in running after Mr. Snape despite the danger to yourself, I grant you thirty points. So, that's twenty points apiece from Gryffindor and Slytherin, nothing new for either house. When Mr. Black is back on his feet he will spend two Saturdays in detention with Professor Slughorn. You, Mr. Snape, will spend two Saturdays with Professor McGonagall." He let out a sigh, and went back to his usual casual demeanor. "Now, can I interest either of you in a lemon drop before you go?"

They both shook their heads, and stood. As they walked away from the table, Snape was muttering furiously. James was terrified though he wasn't going to show it. Snape might have been scolded, but he was still going to tell all the students, and the students would tell their parents, and then it would be chaos, and Remus could be expelled.

"Oh, Severus!" Dumbledore suddenly called. Both boys turned to look at the headmaster, who was smiling kindly. "Can you come back please. We do still have one small matter to discuss."

James faltered, watching Severus go back to the desk, and lingered for a moment. He wanted to listen. Dumbledore, however, caught his eyes, and James slunk down the stairs and out of the gargoyle, sighing sadly. He would have liked to have seen that.

[][][][][][]

Remus heard a groan dimly from somewhere beyond himself. He was awake, but his eyes were still closed. He would have liked very much to go back to sleep. Except for the fact that the moment his body realized that his brain was awake, it sent shooting warnings of pain through him, and that woke him up even further, and his eyes flew open.

Hospital Wing, full moon, werewolf, _oh god_ what happened. As soon as all the thoughts had registered in his brain, a blurry shape that looked vaguely like Madam Pomfrey was at his side. When the shape spoke, it was in Madam Pomfrey's voice. "Hello again, dear."

He allowed himself to be moved, but couldn't help the small gasps of pain that came as she administered his usual potion. He was laid back down against the blankets, and she pulled the curtain open so he could get some sunlight.

To his left, he found the source of the groan. Sirius was in the bed beside him. "Sirius?" Remus attempted to say, but it came out as a garbled sound. His mouth felt like he had been chewing on wood the entire night. His hands were bandaged up, in between the bits of white Remus just caught sight of bloodied and bruised knuckles. On the back of one of his calves was a particularly deep and nasty bite. He blinked in confusion and looked back over at Sirius.

Sirius was black and blue. Madam Pomfrey was slathering a particularly nasty bruise against his ribs with some kind of salve, and Remus could just barely make out the indentations of a giant paw. Fear clouded his mind for a moment, and he stared. Sirius was looking over at him, and his noises of pain immediately ceased despite the fact that Madam Pomfrey was now looking at his clearly broken leg. "A couple more hours for the Skele-grow to work, plus for it to fix up your ribs. I'll bring you both breakfast in a bit."

With that said, she trundled off, and Remus with great effort leaned over towards Sirius. "What happened?"

Sirius grimaced as though he had been hoping Remus wouldn't ask, and looked down at the sheets pulled over his lap. "Remus. I fucked up. I... I never meant to let him know, the part about the knot just came out, you know how Snivellus makes me angry, I hate him _so_ much, but I never wanted him dead, and I sure as hell never wanted you to be the one to kill him. Moony... I... I'm sorry..."

Remus' jaw had been slack, and he felt it involuntarily tighten. He didn't really understand half of what Sirius had said, but most of it was not good. And to hear Sirius apologizing... well that just _never_ happened. "The knot... Severus?"

The grey eyes across from him looked bleak. "We were fighting like... you know, we always do. He... he accused you of... of being fuzzy. He had hairs and everything and he was going to go to Dumbledore, at least I _thought_ he was going to go to Dumbledore..."

The other boy sank into the blankets. "Severus... he knows..."

"But he didn't go to Dumbledore and I'm so stupid, I should have realized! I just thought... the Whomping Willow could knock some sense into him, and then he went off and found the fucking knot and it was a disaster! James could barely keep Snape from seeing you, and I was trying to keep you from going down the passage, and everything was completely fucked up!"

Remus was silent. He was rolling around Sirius' half-hearted details, flushing them out with guesses and assumptions of his own. Sirius _was_ always quite stupid when he was angry. "So. You told Severus about the knot without meaning to. Severus took it literally and went out to the Willow. And you and James tried to stop him."

Sirius swallowed hard and nodded. "If you want to punch me, I will gladly wait until your hands are better and allow you to do so. I'll even do it in any public hallway of your choosing."

His lip curved into a crooked grin, then became serious again. "Snape is...?"  
"Alive, and unharmed, unfortunately, the nasty git."

"And James?"

"Also unharmed, and bloody brilliant."

"And... you..."

"Well, I'll be fine in a couple of hours. You bit me, but like before, it was while I was a dog, so no harm no foul. Might walk funny for a few days, but then I get to tell the girls about my Quidditch accident. Oh, and the piano is ruined."

"So if you... went dog... while Snape was there, does that mean...?"

"I don't think so. He didn't say anything when I was being carried away. I think James covered his eyes or something. He probably told Dumbledore I got hit by the Willow during our rescue attempt."

Remus was aware that Sirius was staring at him pleadingly. He however, was gazing at the ceiling and trying to think things through. Sirius was mentally begging him not to be angry. Remus was trying very hard to be angry. His friend was foolish, and always managed to do something stupid like this, and mess everything up. However, he didn't have the energy to do anything but sigh very slowly.

"Well."

Sirius stared at him, and Remus inhaled just as slowly and closed his eyes.

"Well, I expect I'm expelled."

The dark-haired boy jerked. He probably hadn't even thought of that possibility. "No, no you can't be! It wasn't your fault, shit _I_ should be expelled! I'm the one that told Big-Nose about you, and the knot, and everything. I fucked up, he can't possibly kick _you_ out for it!"

"I nearly killed someone. And Snape is going to tell the whole school. Students are going to write home and tell their parents, and they'll get up in arms. The Ministry will order Dumbledore to expel me."

"Not likely."

Both of the boys in the beds jerked as they saw a very tired and bedraggled James, with a only slightly less tired-looking Peter in tow. James fell into a seat next to Remus, not looking over at Sirius, who shrank back against his pillows.

"You just talked with him?"

"Yeah. He was just as angry at Severus as he was at Padfoot. Gave me thirty points, but took fifty from him. That's twenty from both Gryffindor and Slytherin. Plus you've got detention for two Saturdays with Slughorn." He glanced at Sirius for the last sentence, but looked back at Remus immediately. His jaw was set in annoyance. "You're okay. After what I heard... well he's probably going to have to tell you yourself before you stop worrying about it, but I don't think he has any plans to kick you out. He was talking to Snape when I left. With any luck he'll Obliviate him or something."

Remus yawned and then exhaled quickly, almost a "whew" of relief. James relaxed into his chair. He still was refusing to look at Sirius. He gave Remus one of those telepathic looks, and Remus found himself able to understand it for the first time in almost five years.

"Er... well... Sirius was a great dolt." Remus said quietly, wrinkling his nose. "But it was just his own stupidity really. Plus I've already beat the shit out of him. I mean, I might not have known it, but... anyway, he's offered to let me punch him, and I think once I can feel my fingers properly I will do so, but really, there's no reason to, er..."

James smirked and shrugged one shoulder. "I can think of _plenty_ of reasons." He shot Sirius a look that was akin to the expression McGonagall wore while lecturing them. It looked rather ridiculous on a teenage boy's face. "But this was about you, so you make the choice, Moony."

Remus smiled, glancing over at Sirius, and nodded. Sirius perked up, managing a smirk as he settled into his blankets. Remus yawned a second time and groaned. "I'll have to think about this more later." He said blearily, falling back into the blissfully soft pillows and falling asleep before any of his friends had even the slightest chance to say something.

[][][][][][]

Remus decided after his fingers healed up that he didn't want to punch Sirius. It was mostly due to the fact that Sirius spent the next two weeks looking like a puppy who'd been left on the side of the road. Whenever Remus got annoyed with him, Sirius would immediately look at him balefully and stop doing whatever it was that he had been doing. Remus took slight advantage of this to ruin two pranks, blaming it on his new Prefect-y nature rather than a desire to see Sirius finally obeying him for the first time in five years.

James, however, took much longer to come around. For three weeks he was very snide to Sirius. Outwardly it could be construed as their usual back and forth jibes "Nice to see you up and about, Padfoot," "Your mum, Prongs", but Remus could sense that underneath the surface of these exchanges was a deeper sort of anger. James blamed Sirius much more for the debacle than even Remus did himself.

They'd even had a bit of a row about it. Remus had been fed up, and confronted James when Sirius was off doing something else, flirting with girls or whatever. "You need to lay off him. He feels guilty you know."

"Not ruddy guilty enough." James said darkly.

"Merlin, you act like he's supposed to commit ritual seppuku* just to appease you!"

James had no idea what seppuku was, but he seemed to understand the gist of what Remus was saying. "He nearly forced you to murder someone! After all that work we did, nearly getting ourselves killed in third year so that you _wouldn't_ go to Azkaban, he was nearly the one who put you in there himself! He'd better feel guilty, because he's a bloody rotten friend, and if I were you, I'd have already strangled him outright!"

"Well you aren't me." Remus was surprisingly calm. "You aren't me, and you don't have the right to get angry for me or whatever mooncalf dung you think you are doing. Instead you are acting like a berk in order to force me into getting angry at Sirius. I've already forgiven him, and if you don't cut it out I'm going to punch _you_ instead!"

After that, James subsided, and when Remus suggested they go on an after-hours adventure everyone agreed. Remus was pretty much okay with the idea of the map now, and so they spent a good four hours after dark exploring the dungeons, with Remus marking different locations down that they'd never been to before. Of course despite James being the brain of the operation, and Sirius being the perpetrator of the idea, they had still left Remus to read all the books and take all the notes, just like always.

By the time the next moon rolled around, the Marauders were back to normal, and Remus woke up the next morning feeling like he had won the lottery. This was good, as it was nearly the end of term, and the Christmas holidays were sneaking up on the four of them faster than they had anticipated.

[][][][][][]

The screaming from the stands was all Sirius needed to hear before he got excited. The adrenaline was coming off of the crowd in waves. He watched as James moved over to the Ravenclaw captain, and as they shook hands. He was running his fingers up and down his broom, itching with the need to go out and play.

James had become captain simply because once Kingsley, Alice, and the couple other 7th years had left school, he was the oldest on the team with experience. Ironically enough, they also had a sixth year and seventh year, but it was their first time on the team, so James had gotten promoted early. Technically Sirius had the ability, but he was too jumpy and flaky to actually lead anyone.

"All right! I want a clean game, no funny stuff!" Madam Hooch brought her whistle up to her lips. "Mount your brooms!"

Sirius swung his leg over the side of his broom, his heart leaping into his throat. The whistle blew, and he was off!

He held the Beater's bat easily between his fingers as he rose up. He looked on as Madam Hooch threw the Quaffle. James swooped down and caught it, and went racing for the other goal. Seconds later the Bludgers were released, and Sirius raced after one. A sixth year Gryffindor named Michael McKinnon was his fellow Beater, and he saw a flash of red as the blond raced off to go chase the other Bludger.

"**And the Gryffindors take the ball! Truly an amazing team line up they have this year, Potter, Black, McKinnon, Jersey, and Matilda Robinson as Seeker. Potter is heading for the goal, he shoots, and no, Menard blocks perfectly, and now Ravenclaw has the ball!**"

Sirius came alongside the Bludger, which veered towards him. Instantly he was lashing out with deadly precision, knocking it towards a player in blue. The Ravenclaw spun upside down on his broom, and Sirius heard a cheer from the Gryffindor stands right behind him. He turned on his broom to give them a wave, and spotted Remus and Peter. Peter had a sign with some of his "art" on it, a misshapen form that was probably a lion judging by its angry face. Remus took off his glove, stuck two fingers in his mouth, and blew, and the piercing whistle made Sirius grin as he raced off after the Bludger again.

Back and forth, back and forth. Sirius would hunt down a Bludger, knock it towards a Ravenclaw, then spin off again. Every time that James scored the Gryffindors went wild. When he flew by again just after another goal, he saw McGonagall jumping up and down and clapping two mittened hands together.

The announcer continued, and Sirius made sure to listen to the action he could not see as well as take care of the action he could. After that first miss James had come back to score five goals, and Matilda had yet to find the Snitch. He flew by her and made a "hurry up" hand motion. She made a far ruder hand motion right back at him, and zoomed off, her eyes peeled for it.

Sirius caught out of the corner of his eye a flash of gold. He ignored it, knowing if he even gave Matilda a clue the other team might overhear him. Instead he aimed his next strike right for the Seeker of the Ravenclaw team, who had to veer wildly off course in order not to get hit. He smirked to himself and climbed a few yards, zooming off towards the direction where the Bludger had gone.

Half-way through the match it began to snow. Sirius blinked and shook it off as he dived for the Bludger. A scream went up as James scored yet again. He looked around for Matilda after he had hit the ball, and was shocked to find that she was diving towards the ground at top speed. The Ravenclaw Seeker was behind her, trying to catch up, and he watched transfixed as her hand stretched out in front of her.

"**The action seems to have slowed, wait! Robinson for Gryffindor is diving, is she heading for the Snitch, there's no way that Lemon from Ravenclaw is ever going to catch up**!"

The crowd became silent, and Sirius ducked instinctively to avoid the Bludger that came veering over his head. When he looked up, Matilda was flying upwards, and a tiny struggling ball was clutched within her hand, and she was jumping around so wildly she nearly fell right off her broom.

"**YES, YES SHE'S DONE IT! ROBINSON FOR GRYFFINDOR HAS CAPTURED THE SNITCH! THE GAME IS **_**OVER**_**! TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY POINTS TO RAVENCLAW'S FORTY, THE GRYFFINDORS HAVE WON THE QUIDDITCH CUP FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW!**" The announcer had to scream in order to be heard over the roar of the crowd as they realized what was happening. Sirius raced over with the other members of his team to surround Matilda, patting her on the back firmly and congratulating her as they all floated serenely to the ground.

The Gryffindors were pouring from the stands, Sirius barely saw Remus and Peter and the pointed tip of McGonagall's hat before he was swallowed by screaming students in red and gold. Girls were kissing him on the cheeks, guys were slapping his back or ruffling his hair, McGonagall was clapping and complimenting all of them.

They were scooped up and Sirius barely realized when James had been handed the Quidditch Cup, until his best mate grabbed his fingers and dragged his hand into the air triumphantly. Sirius laughed as they were carried off the field by the Gryffindors, and the Hufflepuffs – who had been rather brutally beaten by Ravenclaw earlier in the season.

Back in the common room someone had gotten barrels of butterbeer and tray after tray of food from the kitchen, even McGonagall enjoyed a mug of the hot drink with them before reminding them sternly that she wanted all activity to cease before midnight, leaving them to celebrate. The Hufflepuffs left first at ten, and then slowly the common room emptied as people started going up their respective staircases. Soon it was only the Quidditch team, Remus and Peter.

Sirius was sprawled out on the sofa, and Remus was curled up at one end of it. Sirius was using Remus' leg as a footrest, and Remus didn't even seem to mind, holding a mug between his fingers and sipping it as he gazed into the fireplace.

"Ruddy good game," Peter said for about the fiftieth time, yawning widely from the armchair.

James made a noise of agreement. Behind them, the other players were all sprawled in various chairs, sipping half-empty mugs, nibbling on cheese and crackers, and occasionally saying something like "And did you see when so-and-so did such-and-such" and the other players would all nod and agree, and fall back into companionable silence.

Sirius grinned. "It was, Pete, it certainly was."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: This chapter is up a bit earlier, I was all excited to write this chapter up. The conclusion to the Incident. As for Remus' reaction, well I can't really see him being angry at Sirius for very long. Sirius is just so guilty over what happened, Remus would actually feel bad about being angry. James on the other hand has far more ability to hold a grudge for a lot longer, and I can easily see him blaming Sirius for what had happened for a very long time if Remus didn't step in and do something. The bit at the end about Quidditch was just a fun little diversion to finish up the term.

*Seppuku: Ritual suicide performed by samurai to preserve their honor. (Remus reads a lot of books you know)

Also: I would like your guys' opinion on this. Should I do my traditional Christmas chapter, or skip over it and go straight to the next term? Christmas this year will probably be pretty subdued, and it will most likely be a chapter of filler, but I feel strange not doing anything at all for Christmas, so whatever you guys think is best. =D

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Padfoot's Blondie, freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh, PharaohDeli, NonrealityRocks, Aeraqua, and LoverFaery: _HOLY CRAP. There's getting to be so many of you that I don't know if I'm going to be able to individually thank you for very long. xD Please keep reading! I love you guys! *w*


	23. Chapter 23: Poker with Padfoot

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Christmas 1975. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Alright boys!" Remus watched Sirius plunk the bottles down on the table. "Drink up!"

"What in Merlin's name is this stuff?" Remus popped the cap and sniffed it. It curled his nose hairs.

This was the first Christmas that all four of them had managed to stay at Hogwarts, even Peter, who's mum had written him several tearful letters but had finally relented. Now they were all sitting on pillows and blankets from the bed up in the dormitory, which Remus didn't understand because they could have just as easily played cards and enjoyed Christmas Eve down by the fireplace. However, the presentation of two bottles of amber liquid cleared those questions up right away.

"Irish whiskey. Nicked it from Caitlin Kilpatrick. She's been getting it shipped from her Muggle boyfriend." Sirius plunked down four small shot glasses, and grabbed the bottle from Remus' fingers. "She won't miss it. He sends them to her once a week."

Remus caught sight of a tag on the cap in his hand, and he flipped it over to read it. "To my whiskey angel, S. Finnigan." He sighed and set the cap to the side, reminding himself to write her a thank you note later.

Sirius poured four glasses, and James immediately picked one up. Peter looked unsure, but the moment he saw James knocking it back he copied him. Remus sniffed it again, letting the sharp smell swirl around his sinuses. Then – because by that point Sirius was pouring a second round for everyone – he knocked it back, unable to suppress the shudder that went down his spine at the taste.

[][][][][][]

"Thish... ish the besht Chrishtmash ever."

Half a bottle later, everyone was looking quite perky. Sirius poured four more shots, and James grinned. Remus looked at Sirius blearily.

Rather than feeling tipsy, or drunk, or deliriously happy like any of the other three boys were, Remus found himself feeling merely lightheaded. It was perhaps a cause of the wolf, that he was only barely affected by the powerful alcohol that Sirius had filched for them. Nobody else seemed to notice, and he at least had grown accustomed to the taste so that he no longer had any qualms about throwing another one down his throat.

"Two cards." Peter piped up.

Remus waited for Peter to hand in two cards. They were two kings. Remus looked at the blond with concern, and very delicately slid the two kings right back to him. Peter didn't even seem to notice, taking the cards. A brilliant grin passed over his lips, and Remus cleared his throat. "I fold."

"You can't!" Sirius said with a grumble.

"If I were you, I'd fold." Remus suggested. Sirius narrowed a pair of very dazed eyes at him and stared him down.

"I ain't no chicken." Sirius said, and Remus had a flash of memory of one of his mother's American relatives who had come to visit one summer when he was younger.

A few minutes later, Sirius put his hand face down triumphantly. "One ace!"

Remus groaned softly as Peter put down his cards excitedly, revealing that he had not two, but three kings. James very sadly revealed his meager pair of eights. Diligently, James and Sirius stood, unbuttoning their shirts.

See, about two shots in, they'd started a game of poker, this time having put a Silencing Charm on the cards so they would no longer speak. They still glared up and their mouths moved angrily, but they wouldn't give their hand away. After another shot, Sirius had suggested that instead of money, they bet their clothes, and anyone who lost had to remove one article of clothing each time. When they were in the buff, they were disqualified. Remus didn't tell Sirius that this was already quite a popular modification of the ordinary Muggle game of poker. Strip Poker.

As Remus was the only one of them left who knew how to count, it had become his responsibility to shuffle and deal each hand. He gathered up the cards and stacked them as Sirius poured yet another round.

[][][][][][]

Three hands later, Sirius slammed his cards down on the floor, still grinning brightly despite the fact that he was in his boxers. "You can't _possibly_ have me beat now!"

James was at least still wearing pants. Peter was wearing pants and a shirt, but no socks or sweater. Remus on the other hand was wearing every item of clothing that he had been two hours ago, down to his socks.

James set his cards down and leaned towards Sirius. "Padfoot. I sushpeck... I sushpet... I _think_... that Moony ish not ash drunk ash we are."

Three pairs of eyes turned to look at him. Remus was idly reading a book in between turns, and Sirius looked absolutely appalled to see him staring at his lap instead of draped across the pillows like everyone else was. "Moony!"

He looked up, perfectly calm. "Yes?"

"Are you drank... drunk?" Sirius questioned in annoyance.

"Well..."

"He's _thinking_!" Sirius said accusingly. "He cain't be think if he's drunking!"

Remus blinked, closing the book and setting it aside. Sirius poured him another shot. "I don't think that's going to help Sirius. I think it might have something to do with you know... the fuzziness."

Sirius looked despondent at this news. "Damn werewolf... ruin... ruined our fun."

"Getting drunk and naked is fun?" Remus asked blandly.

"O' course it is! Next imma find a lampshade an' start dancing!" Sirius threw his head back and let out a great doggy howl. When he looked back down, Remus was gazing at him without a hint of emotion. "You! You... you suck the fun out of everything!"

"Really now Sirius-"

"FUNSUCKER!"

"I've got – hic – two queens." Peter interrupted.

"Haha! I've got... two jacks, damn, fucking..." Sirius stared at his cards. "How the fuck are you so good at this game, Pete? You're like the damned idiot savant of fucking poker."

"I'm not an idiot!"

"No, idiot savant... it's... fuck... I don't know what it is, but it's a damned compliment so you'd better fucking appreciate it!"

"Just take off your pants and have done with it." James said airily.

Reluctantly Sirius stood, and slid out of his boxers. Just as he was getting ready to sit back down, Lily opened the door to the dormitory and walked in.

"Remus, I-" She broke off, staring in horror at the _very_ naked Sirius, the semi-naked James, and the other two boys still wearing clothes.

For a moment there was dead silence. Then there was a shriek, and Remus jumped up as Lily slammed the door shut behind her. Sirius seemed to come alive – now that the girl was gone of course – and snatched a blanket off of the bed.

"Er, Lily?" Remus ran after the redhead, who was looking quite peaky as she stood in the middle of the common room. Her face was bright red. "Are you okay? We hadn't meant for... to..."

"No no, I think I'm quite fine." She said, her voice extraordinarily high-pitched. "The hysterical blindness I'm sure will pass in a moment."

Gentlemanly as always, Remus guided her to a chair, and she sat down with a strange calmness. He looked up to see James coming out of the dormitory. He was still only in his underwear. Sirius was behind him, in only a blanket. Thankfully the majority of the common room was empty due to the holiday, most of the years were in their separate dormitories, except for a few people playing chess.

"Well... uh, what was it you needed?"

"Oh... well... I've forgotten now. I think it was something about doing a Prefect patrol just once to make sure no one's wandering the castle." Lily was keeping her eyes deliberately averted from the dormitory stairs, as though she knew that Sirius and James were watching.

"Er... right."

"You should... um... put a sign on the door or something like that." Lily finally ventured, and then she whipped up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. Remus looked back to see Sirius and James falling all over themselves with laughter. He rolled his eyes.

[][][][][][]

"Presh... Prezzents." Sirius said some time later. He hadn't even put his clothes back on, merely content to sit in their circle under a blanket. He was also still playing poker for some reason. The bottles of whiskey were empty. Remus was feeling a fuzziness in his hands and feet, but his head was mostly clear, except he had stumbled when trying to get up and grab a blanket from his bed.

Remus blinked in confusion. "Prezzents... do you mean 'presents'?"  
"Zat's what I said!" Sirius said, and James blinked.

"I wonder if Lily would like a present." He said woefully.

Sirius glared. For the past hour since Lily had been traumatized, James had not been able to stop talking about her. Everything was associated with Lily Evans, and if it wasn't, James would turn it around so it was.

"Shaddup, Prongs. We're gonna... we're gonna hand out our presents! It's been Chrishtmash for two hours now!" Sirius said determinedly.

"Sirius, you can barely sit up-"

"I wanna hand out presents!" Sirius said loudly, and Remus fell silent and said nothing. Staggering to his feet, Sirius went and fetched three boxes from under his bed. With a sigh Remus went and scooped up his own presents, and the three from under James' bed, and Peter's bed, so they wouldn't have to get up.

Sirius squinted to read the tags and handed them out, falling back onto his cushion with the blanket barely covering his manly bits. Remus doled out the boxes according to names, and then they all tore into them. Peter was half-asleep already – and had thrown up twice to boot – and so he was clumsy, and almost unable to figure out what to do with the boxes in his fingers.

Eventually though, they were all admiring their piles of gifts. Remus had given them all books. _A Magical Cartographer's Guide_ for James, _100 Motorbikes and Accessories_ for Sirius, and _Basic Sketching Techniques for the Beginning Artist_ for Peter. They all seemed to be moderately interested in the books, Sirius the most excited of all. Despite the fact that it was a Muggle book and the pictures didn't move, Sirius spent a moment turning the glossy pages and stroking the pictures within. From his friends, Remus had gotten new Everlasting Ink Quills in blue, red, and black, a great big pile of candy, and a bottle of a very expensive potion from James that claimed to "**Reduce the appearance of wounds in a matter of minutes, even works on scars to help get rid of those marring lines**!" He felt a mixture of indignant and grateful at his gifts, and watched as everyone opened theirs.

"I bet Lily would have thought my map idea was brilliant." James moaned while looking at the book.

Sirius tried to punch him, but overshot it completely, instead falling in the midst of the circle, his hind end sticking out of the blanket and shown to the world.

[][][][][][]

"Ish... no fair..." Sirius mumbled as Remus diligently held his hair back. The werewolf glanced at his watch. It was nearly five o'clock Christmas morning, and he had been holding Sirius' hair out of the toilet and his sick for the past hour. "You... you and yer fuzzy self. Fuzzzzzzzzy..." He droned monotonously.

It was only the two of them left. Shortly after opening presents, Peter had passed out in James' bed, and James, not seeming to understand the concept of moving to another bed – despite Remus making an effort to explain it – had collapsed into the small space with him. They were all tangled up, with Peter's toes smushed against James' face as they snored.

Sirius had decided that the whiskey no longer belonged in his stomach, and while Remus had been cleaning up bottles and pillows and removing James' glasses and pulling a blanket over the two so that they wouldn't catch cold, Sirius had thrown up. Remus had joined him shortly afterwards to try and help.

"Your hair is getting long." He commented idly, his fingers running through the dark strands as he tried to keep them out of Sirius' face.

"Mnot gonna cut it..." Sirius said stubbornly, his forehead resting against the cool porcelain of the toilet.

"No... I like it."

"Fuck... I think 'm done... bedtime now..." Sirius mumbled, struggling to his feet. Remus tried to help him up, while also trying to drag the blanket over the taller boy. Sirius was still stark naked from... two hours ago? Three? Remus didn't remember, except he was exhausted. He was so tired he didn't even feel awkward being this close to a completely naked Sirius who was so drunk that only an hour ago he had sloppily kissed James on the forehead after James had made some comment to the effect of "Fuck Lily, who needs her?"

Sirius managed to get the blanket around himself, and Remus guided him to his bed. The boy collapsed into it, and Remus sighed and finally dragged off his jumper and climbed into his own bed. He didn't envy the headaches that everyone else was going to have in the morning. Well, in the afternoon, judging by when they were finally going to bed. He listened to the snoring for a few minutes before rolling over and falling asleep.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Because you guys suggested it, I went ahead and went with a little filler Christmas chapter. Super duper short, which is why I'm posting it now. Because of this the next chapter might be a bit late tomorrow. In any case, I just did a little fun scene. The idea for Marauder silliness had been rolling around in my head for a while, and I thought this was a good chance to do it. Mostly it was just fun, and I like writing them just goofing off and being themselves. Even if they are very drunk selves.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_ freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh, PharaohDeli, and LoverFaery: _you guys really keep the story alive by keeping my spirits up! don't forget, a sad writer is no writer at all. xDD


	24. Chapter 24: Girls girls girls

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Late Winter, 1976. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Shit, Moony, can you get the bottle next to my bed, it's the Anti-Swelling Salve." Sirius poked his head out of the shower, looking at Moony pleadingly, who was standing at a sink and shaving.

"Ouch, damn." Remus muttered, as seeing Sirius' face behind him caused him to nick himself in the tricky curve under his chin. "Yeah, hang on a second." He retrieved the small vial on Sirius' nightstand and handed it over with a smirk. "Still having trouble with those fleas?"

Sirius groaned as he yanked the shower curtain shut again. "I swear Moony, wizards can make brooms that fly, fireplaces that transport you, and turn people into toads, but they can't make a potion that will get rid of bloody fleas!"

"I think there is something I could whip up for you, Hagrid uses it on Thorn." Remus tapped the still bleeding spot, looking at it awkwardly with his head tilted back.

"Please Moony, you are a genius in almost everything, but don't try and make me a potion. I'll just take my chances with the shampoo and this stuff." Remus could hear Sirius hissing as he applied the salve to his flea bites. "Fuck, Moony, I can't reach my back..."

"I'll do it when you come out. And for Merlin's sake, put on a towel this time." Remus called over his shoulder as he finished shaving, leaning over to rinse his face off in the sink.

James stumbled into the bathroom a moment later. Ink was splashed all down his front. "Moony!"

Remus sighed and pulled his wand from his pocket. With a few words and a flick he had removed most of the ink from James' clothing. The teen then started to wash his arms in the sink, scrubbing them in annoyance. "You should really try talking to her when she isn't doing her homework." Remus said, digging around for a comb.

"I don't even know how she found out. I mean, I thought everything was going to be okay once I apologized, but..."

"Severus probably told her you tried to kill him, and he had the bruises to prove it."

James made a comment about Severus' mother under his breath, and Sirius laughed from behind them in the shower. Remus rolled his eyes and wet the brush so that it would go through his hair. Once James had washed off he looked in the mirror and reached to the back of his head to tousle it appropriately.

Sirius came out of the shower, a thick towel wrapped around his waist. He handed Remus the bottle and turned around, and Remus dipped his fingertip into the potion to dab it onto the three or four bug bites that peppered Sirius' shoulders. Immediately the swollen bites subsided until they were only pale pink spots on his skin. The dark-haired teen sighed in relief, and then headed into the dormitory to finish drying off and putting on his clothes.

"I swear, I'm like the den mother around here." Remus mumbled to himself as he returned to the bathroom mirror and fingered the scar on his cheek, wrinkling his nose. James' present hadn't done anything but make the scar a bit more similarly colored to the rest of his face. Seconds later Peter tumbled in from where he had been still sleeping.

"Why didn't anyone wake me?" He said frantically, splashing his face with water.

"I tried to wake you four times in the last half-hour." Remus said. "But I had to get ready myself. Honestly, you _boys_..."

He trailed off, realizing he was sounding too much like a girl in that moment. He gave Peter a manly pat on the back, and then was forced to perform a small healing charm as the force of his blow sent Peter's face into the spigot.

[][][][][][]

"Guys..." Remus was staring at the newspaper later that morning. He slowly set it down, and when his first attempt at grabbing attention failed, he cleared his throat. "Hey!"

They all looked at him. He folded the newspaper carefully and slid it forward. They all looked down where his finger was pointing, at a small article nearly at the back of the Prophet. There was a picture next to the headline, of three people, and a very familiar face in the middle.

"_Family of Ministry Official Killed by Possible Unforgivable in Own Home._

_ Early this morning, the home of Katerina Coffard – Chief Obliviator for the Ministry – her husband, Thomas Coffard, and their only daughter Kalinda – only recently finished attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – was broken into, and the entire family murdered. The perpetrators are unknown, and the Ministry only had this to say:_

_ 'Our hearts go out to any relatives and friends of the family. Katerina was a loyal Ministry official, and her service for our world will be greatly missed. We hope that the terrible person who performed these crimes is caught and punished. Our best Aurors are on the task, and rest assured that the Ministry will not rest until justice is served.'_

_ There is no news yet on whom will be replacing Mrs. Coffard as Chief Obliviator._"

The three boys were silent, and then finally James let out a low whistle. "Damn."

Remus said nothing, taking the newspaper back and tucking it into his bookbag. Kalinda and he hadn't been very close. They were three years apart, and she was so much smarter and had different friends. But more than once he remembered her helping him find something in the library, and she had discussed her family, and she had been really nice to him even though he was strange. He couldn't possibly imagine her dead. It just wasn't right. No one died at 18. The worst part of it was, this wasn't the first time in the last year that Remus had recognized a last name in one of these articles. Wizards were dying, all over, and Remus didn't know why, but he was starting to realize that Kalinda's words last year had been more than just friendly advice.

"She had been trying to tell me something." He said quietly. Sirius and James looked over at him in confusion. "Back... back when Sirius and I... you know. She had been telling me something important, and I didn't understand it at the time."

"What did she say?"

"She said, 'There are things happening in this world, Remus, that require _friends_. Some people don't believe in friendship, or love, and we've got to fight that.'" Remus repeated the words exactly as she had said them, and the other Marauders raised their eyebrows.

"How is that something important?"

"It... it just _is_. I know it was important." Remus frowned and let the words roll around on his tongue for a while, until they all had to run to make it to Charms on time.

[][][][][][]

One month later, and James had his forehead resting against the dinner table. He hadn't touched his food, despite the prevalence of treacle tart on his plate. He was speaking, but it was muffled by the wooden table.

Sirius was actually looking quite satisfied with himself. He took a sip from his goblet, and kicked James underneath the table. "Cheer up, mate. There's a veritable cornucopia of birds for you to choose from. Ones _without_ talons and hooked beaks. I bet her Patronus is a vulture."

"It would be the prettiest vulture I've ever seen." James turned his head so his cheek was now on the table, his entire figure so downtrodden that Remus had to choke back a laugh.

"Moony, my new best mate, so who are you going with this Friday?"

Remus blinked. "What?"

"You know, V-day. Saint Valentino? Valentine's day?" Sirius said with a grin.

"Er... well."

"You haven't asked anyone?"

"Well... I just... don't know who to ask, that's all." Remus said lightly.

"Aw come on, you can ride our coattails all the way up to the double D's if you wanted."

"That's vulgar. I'm not asking a girl out just because I like her... you know..."

"Tits?"

"Padfoot!"

"What, you're a man, it's only right to say it." Sirius took another sip, and leaned over with a conspiratorial grin. "Now ol' Mattie Robinson has been flaunting hers at James for the past four months, and does he even notice? She's at least a D, while his beloved Lilypad is only a C on a good day. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure James is a leg man, and have you seen Evan's long and... leggy legs?"

"I haven't noticed, no."

"Merlin's pants, Moony, do you _ever_ think about sex?"

Remus turned bright red. "What?"

"Is that a yes?"

"I... I mean, sure... I've thought about it... I mean..."

"With anyone in particular?"

"No!"

"Oh, I don't give a flying Billywig who you romance in your dreams, Moony, I'm just trying to figure out if you have any manly bits at all. I think you're an eunuch."

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just used the word 'eunuch' properly, and tell you to bugger off instead."

"That's exactly what Lily said." James bemoaned, interrupting their very personal and very awkward conversation. Sirius snorted and leaned back. Remus sighed.

"So who did you... bag." He attempted to sound wry and droll like Sirius did, but it came out sounding patronizing instead.

"Elise Stromer." Sirius said triumphantly.

"Isn't that the girl that everyone thinks has some Veela blood in her?"

"Why yes, yes it is. You want me to ask her about any ugly friends so you aren't alone?"

"No thank you. I think I'm just going to finish my poetry book instead."

Sirius looked as though he were going to say something witty. Instead – to Remus' surprise – he merely sighed and knocked back the rest of his pumpkin juice. He had given up. Which was slightly startling to the sandy-haired boy who was always the brunt of eunuch jokes.

[][][][][][]

"This is ridiculous." Remus observed the boy's bathroom that Saturday, the 14th of February.

It was chaos. Everyone was trying to get to the mirror, or shower, or use a sink. Older boys were shoving the younger ones out of the way. Sirius had managed to elbow his way to the very end mirror, and Remus stared at him as he meticulously shaved his chin and then spent fifteen minutes artistically arranging his hair over his eyes.

"All right!" Remus finally shouted, using his best "Prefect" tone of voice. "Fifteen minutes per sink only! Line up in rows. 7th years get seniority, followed by 6th, then 5th, and so on. Kensington, stop putting on cologne, you smell disgusting. O'Brien, get that goop out of your hair, and Harding for Merlin's sake stop trying to get rid of your spots yourself, there's a bottle of Ten-second Pimple Vanisher right next to you on the sink. No wands people, this is _not_ a place for dueling! Peter, I told you not to try and add anything to your shampoo, get over here and I'll see if I can change your hair back to the right color."

Immediately people began shuffling around, while Remus pulled out his wand and made sure everyone was fine. He used his own half-hearted healing charms on any cuts from shaving, doled out more of the spot removing potion, and fixed a pair of glasses that had gotten crushed in the momentary brawl. After a few minutes of trying, Peter's hair was a few shades darker than it used to be, but at least it wasn't bright orange anymore.

A half-hour later, he left the bathroom, as it finally seemed to be functioning again, and collapsed onto his bed. Sirius was holding a tie up to his neck and peering at a small mirror propped up against his bed. "Nicely done there, _Prefect_ Lupin." He joked.

"Shut up. They were about to kill themselves and each other." Remus said grumpily. He didn't understand this concept of Valentine's Day, especially not when it meant that the students were at each other's throats.

"I bet the girl's dormitory is just as bad."

"I bet not. I bet they are all taking turns and not elbowing 4th years in the face!" Remus protested, flopping back on the bed.

"Girls are vicious." Sirius had evidently decided on no tie, and flung it back over his shoulder, before turning to dig around in his trunk, humming softly to himself.

Remus looked over at James' bed. The bespectacled boy was sitting with a very large book on his lap and sketching something out on a huge piece of paper. He had thrown himself into the magical mapmaking even more furiously today, and Remus had a good idea why. Lily Evans was going to Hogsmeade with Michael McKinnon, Sirius' fellow Beater and a 6th year. Michael had asked James permission first, and Remus knew that it had taken all of James' effort to say it was okay and not to splatter Michael over the common room walls. Well, actually, Michael would have crushed James like a small grape, seeing as his arms were quite imposing from all that Beating.

"So where are you going?" Remus questioned while Sirius popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth.

Sirius grimaced. "Madam Puddifoot's."

James snorted derisively. The dark-haired boy shot him a look, and turned back to the mirror to continue arranging his hair. After a few minutes, they heard a great crashing sound from the bathroom. Remus groaned and hauled himself to his feet. "Oy!" He yelled as he approached. "I'm gone for five bloody minutes and you break something? Honestly!"

[][][][][][]

"But I don't want to go to Hogsmeade. It's going to be busy and crowded and I just wanted to finish reading my book." Remus muttered as he wrapped his scarf tightly around his face and heaved a sigh.

"If I'm trapped in that stupid castle for one more hour my brain will explode." James said unhappily, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his wool coat.

Remus sighed again and followed after James down the path to Hogsmeade. Maybe they could get a couple of butterbeers. The February cold was blistering, and every time a gust of wind blew past them Remus felt as though he might as well not be wearing anything at all, for all the good his layers of jumpers and coats were doing him. James yanked his hat farther down over his head, and they entered the small village.

The place was mostly deserted. The only people who were out walking around were obviously desperately trying to get to their destination so that they could go inside. No one was on the path leading up to the Shrieking Shack. Remus slowed as they approached the Three Broomsticks, but James resolutely walked right past it. The only slightly older of the two rolled his eyes and followed, having an inkling as to where James was going.

They arrived at Madam Puddifoot's a few minutes later. Remus headed for the door, but James grabbed his arm and dragged him off. "Don't go in!"

"Why not? I can't even feel my face!"

"That place... is horrid. It's like St. Valentine himself vomited all over the room." James stuck out his tongue. "Not to mention... two blokes can't go in without dates or anything... it would be... too _weird_."

"Well then why are we here?"

James sighed and kept dragging him around to the side. The window was so steamed that it was impossible to see in. James rubbed his sleeve against it, but that did nothing. He pulled out his wand instead, tapping it against the window and trying a few different clarifying spells. After a moment, the window finally cleared up, at least the bottom part of it, so they could peer inside.

Remus winced. James' description of the teahouse had been scarily accurate. Pink and red and white were the colors, and golden cherubs flew around the room, flinging confetti into the air. Students sat at small tables, sipping tea, holding hands, and occasionally leaning over to kiss each other. "I can't see Michael..." James said in annoyance.

"I thought we were here to spy on Sirius?"

"Oh... yeah, that's right." James said as though that had been the idea all along. Remus rolled his eyes and craned his head until he caught sight of Sirius sitting across from a beautiful girl with platinum blond hair. Remus could see how people might suspect she had Veela in her, the way she held herself and her features were very telling of some kind of ancestry. Sirius indeed seemed enchanted. He was kissing her knuckles, and she threw back her head and laughed at something he said.

Remus had never seen Sirius being anything but an ass, or cracking jokes, or occasionally acting overly innocent when he was being accused of something. To see that Sirius was actually... well, _charming_, that came as a shock. Remus was transfixed for a moment, wishing that Sirius was pointed in his direction so he could read his lips to figure out what he was saying. Surely he wasn't telling his usually bodily function jokes, because Elise didn't look like the sort of girl who would be interested in that. He felt something very strange stir in his stomach, and then shook it off to look over at the friend outside of the window. James wasn't even looking at Sirius anymore, still scanning the room.

"Aha, there they are." James grabbed Remus and dragged him away from the window, moving them around to a window on the opposite side of the building. Another few spells were muttered at the window until it cleared up. Remus now found himself staring at the back of Michael's head as he and Lily sat at a table eerily close to the window.

"You know I'm pretty sure this is starting to constitute stalking."

"Shut up." James was pressing the side of his head to the window and trying to hear what they were talking about. "She's blushing! Why is she blushing? What did he say?"

"Prongs, this is pathetic."

James glared at him. "I just wanted to know what she thinks is so special about Michael."

"He's older. He's muscled. He plays Quidditch, he has nice hair, and he's very friendly." Remus rattled off with a roll of his eyes. James stared at him for a minute, and Remus hastily explained. "Oh come on, I talk to Lily every night when we're on patrol. She tells me girly things."

"I wish she'd tell me girly things. Or tell me _anything_. Anything other than 'toe-rag' or 'get the hell away from me'."

Remus looked concerned. James was taking this Lily thing a bit far. "Er... you know there are other girls? There are even other redheads."

"Lily is special." James finally looked away from the window and slumped into the alleyway, sitting down in the snow and knotting his fingers together. "I can't describe it Moony. I think I've been in love with her since first year. I mean... Merlin, let's not pretend she was the _prettiest_ girl in our year back then. She was skinny and kind of peaky. But then last year, and I dunno what happened this summer but... oh, but her hair, and her freckles, and... oh, Moony. I feel like I'm under Amortentia all the bloody time. I can't stop thinking about her. I just feel like... if she would just give me a chance, any chance, I'd do everything in my power to make her the happiest girl in the world."

Remus reached out to give James a comforting pat on the shoulder. "She just doesn't like you, Prongs. She gave you one chance to be friends, but you messed that up."

The messy-haired teen exhaled slowly, and nodded. Remus managed a reassuring smile. "Let's go get some butterbeer, eh? You'll feel a bit better then."

Reluctantly James allowed Remus to pull him onto his feet, and together they headed for the Three Broomsticks. "I'd much rather have a bottle or four of Firewhiskey."

[][][][][][]

"And her _hair_!"

"Pads, we've heard about her hair."

"Did I tell you about my date yet?"

"Only about thirty times Wormy."

"She kissed me!"

"We're all celebrating."

James made a noise from his bed. Once they had returned from Hogsmeade, he had flung himself face down on his mattress and hadn't moved. Remus had just managed to get through another chapter of his book before Sirius and Peter had trudged upstairs looking flush from the cold and from whatever other activities they had been performing with their dates.

"Honestly Moony, if Wormtail can get a date-"

"Hey!"

"No offense mate, but you turned your hair orange this morning."

Remus turned the page, making a dismissive noise and waving a hand towards James. "I've spent the entire day making sure _he_ doesn't jump out of the Tower window."

Sirius rolled his eyes, walked over to James, and sat on him. "James, I brought you back a butterbeer." James made a moaning noise. "Oh come on. She's just a bird. Honestly. Elise is friends with Heather Johnson, and oh man is _she_ something. I'll introduce you two kids, and you _will_ stop moping. I swear, if your mood doesn't perk up around Heather Johnson, I'm going to put you on a broom and smash the Bludger into your face until your personality improves."

"I don't need a woman!" James finally said, attempting to raise his head under the weight of Sirius sprawled on him.

"Oh, in that case, Elise has an older brother in Ravenclaw, he's very handsome and I heard he studied in France for a year and we _all_ know what they say about the French-"

"Your mum!" James rolled over and flung Sirius onto the floor, and pounced on him. Remus smirked as they wrestled. James wasn't that far gone yet.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I think this is another one of those chapters that I really love. First of all, we've got Remus. I spent this chapter really developing his character a bit more. Plenty of fanfictions seem to think he's just awkward and shy ALL THE TIME. Realistically, you have to look at him evolving over time. First of all, with friends like Sirius and James it's a bit hard to be constantly shy and browbeaten. Not to mention that Remus was given quite a lot of authority when he was chosen as a Prefect. I think that it is only reasonable to say that once he found that people were paying attention to him and respecting him even, that he was able to take on the mantle of Prefect with a certain grace. I also like the thought that he's sort of the "mother" of the group, always trying to make sure Sirius and James aren't doing too much damage, and letting that motherly aspect of his personality move into the Prefect-y things that he does. Another thing of course, is James' incessant infatuation with Lily. I thought it was rather cute personally, and I hope I didn't make him too creepy. xD In any case, I also thought they were finally old enough that we can start bringing girls into the picture, as James and Sirius were both extremely charming and handsome young men. Remus of course, just doesn't get it.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_ Gabar, freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh, PharaohDeli, and LoverFaery: _my constant reviewers who help me guide the story as much as anyone. =D


	25. Chapter 25: Spring Has Sprung

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: End of Term, 1976. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"What are you doing?"

Remus looked up into Sirius' face with exasperation on every inch of his features. "I'm studying!"

"Again? You just did that yesterday?"

"There are only three months until O.W.L.s and I'm _completely_ unprepared. I've spent the whole year being a Prefect and having to keep you out of trouble. Just last week I spent the entire evening reading a huge, dusty tome of magical cartography because you blokes needed information on tracing spells. Absolutely ridiculous, today in the practice test I didn't even know the final use of dragon's blood! I've memorized the twelve uses ever since first year! Laura McIntyre had to tell me! Oven cleaner, honestly, oven cleaner! Can you even imagine, I forgot _oven cleaner_?"

Sirius laughed, and a moment later a large fuzzy dog was pushing against his legs. He looked down in annoyance, but Padfoot had such a pleading expression on his face that Remus soon relented. Then, as he continued to do his homework, Padfoot rested his head on Remus' thigh. Obligingly, Remus scratched the shaggy black dog behind the ears, and was rewarded with several licks on his fingers.

"You are the strangest person." Remus muttered. Once again, Sirius was standing next to him, and he draped himself over the back of the chair.

"Thank you Moony." Sirius said as though Remus' words had been a compliment. "You should take a break from studying. We need to go investigate the third floor."

"I am busy."

"How are we ever going to finish this map if you don't want to help?"

Remus sighed, scratching his quill along the page for a few more lines before responding. "Feel free to go and get yourselves more detentions. I have to finish this before tomorrow."

"Moooooony. Come oooooon. It won't be more than an hour of your precious time."

"Why can't you and James do it alone?" Remus asked, flipping the page in his book to write down another note.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun. We need your fuzzy supersenses so we don't get caught. Besides, it's not like you are ever going to use..." Sirius leaned over to read his essay, "_Five Dragon Taming Techniques_ in the real world."

"How do you know I'm not vying to be a dragonologist?" Remus asked curtly.

"You are?"

"No, but after all the experience wrangling you and James, I'm pretty sure they'd give me the job without any training whatsoever."

"Ah, Moony, I can tell you aren't really angry. That vein in your head hasn't turned that weird red color."

[][][][][][]

"So... uh... that was... that." James said, moving very quickly away from the door. Sirius and Remus still had their wands pointed at it.

"That... was a _very_ large um..."

The other two looked at Remus, who looked bewildered. "What?"

"You are supposed to be the expert on these things!"

"All I saw was... slime or something..." Remus said with a shudder.

"Yeah... you know, I really hate this floor. Teachers use these for storage, the weirdest stuff ends up in these rooms."

"I don't suppose we could stop for the day?" Remus said to Sirius, who smirked.

"You mean you don't want to check all the other doors on the third floor?"

"No. None of these are classrooms or anything... I would really just prefer... somewhere else. You guys can do a flyby on broomstick to count rooms."

Sirius and James rolled their eyes. "You don't have any bollocks at all, Remus."

"Thank you Sirius. At least I'm alive, and I would like to stay that way. God this castle has some freaky stuff. Teacher!"

James whipped out the cloak and they all huddled underneath it as Professors Vector and Eckzahn walked by engaged in conversation. After they had gone, the three moved out of the third floor. Remus was still thinking about his essay, until he tripped and fell into a tapestry. Rather than hitting the wall behind said tapestry though, a great huge hole opened up and tumbled down it.

Sirius was ecstatic, though Remus felt sure he had a concussion, not to mention mothballs and dustbunnies in his hair, and he'd torn his third favorite jumper. Rather than even argue though, he simply followed the two more adventurous Marauders through the tunnel.

"_Lumos_." James muttered. Remus felt himself brushing against the walls. It was a bit of a tight squeeze. The passageway was very narrow. After a few minutes Sirius cursed rather colorfully, and they stopped dead.

"Shit, damn, fuck... maggoty hell!" He said, and Remus peered over James' shoulder to see Sirius clutching his forehead.

"Slammed his face into the ceiling. It's starting going downhill a bit." James explained. Remus winced, and made a note on his piece of paper. He had been writing down everything they were doing, and now he wrote "tunnel appears to go downhill, Pads' head introduced to ceiling".

"Fucking... gah... bugger this. I'm going dog and investigating. You guys stay here. Man, I wish Peter was here."

"He's with Esmeralda still. She's stolen his soul." James commented, as suddenly Padfoot was sniffing around the floor. James sighed and leaned against the wall as the black dog faded into the dark hallway.

"Well... she's his first _actual_ girlfriend. And he's not so much chubby anymore as he is like... a wall." Remus commented. "He might get in Quidditch next year."

James made a noise. "He has no coordination."

"You should give him a chance, James. Honestly, it's like you only keep him around because he follows you like a puppy."

James said nothing to that, which was faintly irritating. Luckily, Padfoot appeared a moment later, and then Sirius. "Fuck! _Ow_!"

"The ceiling was still low there." Remus said idly. Sirius glowered at him.

"It goes straight into Hufflepuff basement." Sirius said while still rubbing the top of his head. "It'll be perfect if we can't figure out the password sometime."

"Brilliant." James said. Remus wrote it down, and they turned to traipse back up the tunnel and out of the tapestry.

"Can I go back to my homework now?" Remus asked in exasperation. Unfortunately, the expression on the two boys' faces told him the answer to that.

[][][][][][]

Remus was dirty. This jumper would never be the same, and his mother would be furious that she would have to make him a new one. He didn't even want to know what was in this tunnel, except that the walls were damp.

"How many fucking tunnels and secret passages can one castle have?" He demanded angrily. James ahead of him snickered.

"It's a bloody castle, mate."

"You know, I'm not always one for complaining but... what was that..."

James' lit wand went out. "Shit, what the fuck?"

Remus scrambled backwards. He didn't think it was possible, but the blackness was getting ever blacker, absorbing every hint of light. He whipped his wand out and tried to light it, but instead the light was torn from the tip of his wand.

He heard Sirius swear, but it was as though he was very far away. The blackness was getting in his brain now, and he felt very weak. Then, he heard a bark.

He sat up quickly. He was on the ground laying in front of the suit of armor that they had found the tunnel underneath. Something was licking his ear, and he was aware of the fact that the side of his face was wet. He looked over to see Padfoot, who immediately sat down when he realized that Remus was awake.

Behind Padfoot was Prongs, majestically standing next to the armor. His hooves made a strange noise on the marble floors. Remus rubbed the side of his head. "What the hell was that?"

In a second, Sirius and James were standing up, and Sirius helped him back onto his feet. "Dunno, you started to get all woozy on us. We hit a magical barrier or something, that's what turned off the wand. But the minute we hit it, you started freaking out."

James nodded sagely. "We went animal in order to drag you out. It was too crowded to pull you out of the tunnel in human form."

"Just me?" Remus questioned.

"Yeah. Dunno why, but James and I seemed fine. I mean, the magic felt weird, and I felt a bit tired, but nothing serious."

Remus shook his head and grabbed his pen and paper, "Found tunnel which made M. slightly delirious, recommend not putting on map."

"Are we done yet?"

James and Sirius sighed, but reluctantly agreed that one injurious incident was enough for the day.

[][][][][][]

"Ugh, I don't know what I'm going to do. My Arithmancy assignment is never going to get done at this rate." Lily complained as they did their patrol the next night.

"I know how you feel." Remus sighed and looked around. "Let's play hooky from patrol and hit the library, what do you say?"

Lily flushed a bit and laughed. "Remus, only _you_ would think that playing hooky was an excuse to study."

"I really need help on Potions. And I can share my number chart with you." Remus said with a smirk.

She tapped her nose and thought about it. "Yeah, all right! Screw patrols."

They laughed, realizing at the same time that they were both equally nerdy. Lily just got away with it because she was so much prettier.

[][][][][][]

"Moooony."

He cracked one eye open. "What Padfoot?"

"Let's go swimming."

Both eyes opened. "Are you bloody crazy?"

"You know, that's what Prongs said before he punched me and went back to sleep."

"I think that's the smartest thing Prongs has done in months."

"Come oooon."

He sat up, yanking his wand out and pointing it at Sirius. "And why shouldn't I just jinx you and get this over with?"

Except they both knew that he wouldn't. Sirius had that stupid puppy grin on his face, and after a few seconds Remus gave in, looping his legs over the side of the bed. "I knew you'd give into my many charms."

"Shut up." Remus grabbed a sweater and dragged it over his head.

They padded downstairs and out the castle walls, trekking down past the grounds to the back of the castle where the lake spread out. Remus looked up. The moon was just a sliver in the night sky, which meant that Remus was feeling pretty good. The lake was a shimmering dark blue, reflecting the stars within it, giving the water a sparkling effect. The bit of Remus that he kept deep down where Sirius and James wouldn't see it commented on the fact that it was an extremely romantic location. A spot where two young lovers would sneak out after dark to kiss in the moonlight. He glanced at Sirius and then shook his head quickly. The moment that they got to the edge of the water Sirius was stripping his clothes off, thankfully stopping when he got to his boxers. Remus looked at him in confusion.

"You're going swimming in _here_?"

"Where did you think we would go swimming? Come on, the weather is nice out tonight, and I felt like swimming." Sirius said, wading a few feet in. "Oh, don't give me that look. It's not that big a deal. I can't get eaten by the squid if I don't go in that far. I just want to get wet."

Remus stood at the end, gazing out at the placid lake. It was a nice and warm night, the first one since fall, and he let the wind blow past him, and he slowly stripped off the sweater.

"Are you coming in?" Sirius looked at him, now waist-deep in the water.

Remus prodded the edge with his toe. "Merlin's staff! It's bloody cold, Padfoot. How can you stand it?"

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno. I suspect it's my lovely fur coat." With that, he turned into Padfoot, and doggie paddled out a bit further in the lake.

Remus stared. "Well that's easy for you to say!"

Padfoot barked in response, and circled around, clambering back up onto the shore. He sat down in front of Remus, a grin on his face. Remus balked.

"No don't- AH, _PADFOOT_!"

Remus covered his face as the shaggy black dog shook himself furiously, and Remus was soaked through with the freezing cold water. When he was finished Padfoot sat back down, and cocked his head to the side. Remus glared at him, but his friend's doggy expression was so comical that Remus laughed instead.

"It's too cold."

Padfoot blinked, and then became Sirius sprawled out on the grass. "You aren't any fun at all."

"Come on, we'll get caught out here. You've swum."

The wet teen looked at him sadly. "But I want to swim _more_. Come on Moony, please?"

Remus sighed, and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Now that they were both undressed, Sirius jumped up and grabbed Remus. He yelped, only to find himself falling face first into the lake. He came up, sputtering and shivering like mad. "Padfoot!"

"Haha!" Sirius cried, jumping on him.

Remus grabbed his friend – who might have been larger but who was ultimately weaker as well – and dragged him under the water, using him to launch himself back out of the lake. When he hit the surface he gasped, shaking his head. A moment later, Sirius popped up next to him, pushing his hair from his face.

"Merlin, it's so cold!" Remus spluttered as he gasped for breath.

"Think of how good it will feel when we get out." Sirius laughed, rolling and doing a backstroke past Remus, who was backing up to find his footing, feeling his toes squish into the mud of the bank. Sirius swam in circles around him.

"Honestly, I think I'm freezing all my bits."

Sirius cackled. "You have no bits to freeze."

"Hardy har har, you're so funny, Pads." Remus shoved water at Sirius, who merely whistled slowly and paddled away.

[][][][][][]

"But I've got to study!" Remus looked back longingly at his stack of books.

"Moony, do you even _know_ what day tomorrow is?"

"It's the first of April, of course I know, that means there's only another two months before O.W.L.s... oh." Remus trailed off as Sirius and James stared at him almost pleadingly. "You mean... do we... do we _have_ to?"

Their faces did not change, and Remus felt a strange twisting in his gut. "You know, I'm a Prefect now, I really think that this year maybe we should... you know... tone it down?"

"Actually, because of your... unfortunate status, we wanted your help. We need some passwords, and I know you can get them."

Remus looked at both of them helplessly. "But... points... detention...?" He knew that his words would do no good.

Tomorrow was April Fool's Day, and while most wizards spared the holiday little more than a passing glance, there was a definite rise to popularity among a certain demographic. And Sirius and James were the kings of that demographic.

"So, here's the plan." Sirius repeated for the fourth time as they huddled around a pile of supplies.

"We know the plan." Remus said with a roll of his eyes.

"Moony, you are forbidden to speak. Your presence here is compromising enough."

"I'll just leave then."

"No!" Sirius grabbed his arm. "If you leave, I will be forced to kill you to keep you from revealing our secrets to the enemy."

"Couldn't you just Obliviate me? Have Peter do it, then I can spend the next forty years in St. Mungo's and I don't have to even think about what you asked me to do."

"Okay, so Prongs is going to have the Cloak and the Whoopee Cushions, and I'm going to have the dungbombs. Peter... _you_ are in charge of Distraction Number One. Here are your supplies." Sirius handed over several firecrackers to Peter, who clutched them with a grin. Sirius turned to Remus. "And you, Moony-"

"I'm a _Prefect_." Remus said inanely, as though that made a difference.

"I am well aware. _That_ is why you will be responsible for crowd control." Sirius said calmly. "You will be far from the scene of the... well, they aren't really crimes..."

"I'm sure we can turn them into crimes..." Remus muttered.

"Now now." Sirius glanced at a clock. "Almost time for operations to begin. Remus, go do your thing. You've already gotten us the passwords, so we're all good. In fifteen minutes we begin the plan."

Remus winced, and then slowly inched his way away from the table. "Yeah... fifteen minutes... I wonder if you can get sacked from the Prefect's position."

[][][][][][]

"Whoa, don't sit there." Sirius pointed at the chair Remus was about to sit down in. The sandy-haired boy quickly shifted to sit in another chair, this time with no warning preceding it. "We charmed the cushions so that they are invisible. And they don't just make a noise. Now they make um... well a noise and... something else. James invented it, bloody brilliant you know."

As if to further his explanation, a moment later there was an incredibly rude noise from the Ravenclaw table. Then, a huge cloud of purple smoke exploded. When it cleared the person who had sat upon one of the "bad" chairs was now coated from head to toe in a disgusting smelling purple liquid. Immediately a fellow Ravenclaw attempted a scourgify, and James sucked in his breath. "Bad idea."

Indeed that was a bad idea, because the purple liquid instead of being sucked away by the spell instead expanded tenfold, and coated the person who had tried to perform the spell. Immediately the entire table was getting up and moving away from the two. Across the Great Hall, as though some set of dominoes had been set off, clouds of purple smoke exploded across all four tables. Panic ensued as students jumped up and away from the chairs and away from the students who were currently being affected by the charmed cushions.

James and Sirius were doubled over in laughter, and someone in the crowd mentioned April Fool's, and suddenly everyone understood, and a paranoia spread through the students. Moments later, hundreds of eyes were pointed in their direction, anger growing in the Hall. Remus stepped forward, spreading out his arms in what he hoped was a placating fashion.

"Diversion!" Sirius hissed. Peter yanked the firecrackers out from under the table and they were lit, and Remus had to dive for the floor as a dozen balls of fire and showers of sparks rained over the heads of the students. There was yelling, and Remus got up quickly to usher the students out of the Great Hall, normal and purple alike. The other three Marauders had already vanished.

And that was just the morning. More Whoopee Cushions found their way onto students' chairs in class, girls found sudden gusts would whip up their skirts, and guys would inexplicably get wedgies in the middle of the hall. Teachers tried to ebb the flow of insanity, but they knew that it really couldn't be stopped until the day was over.

Snivellus was the worst of all. Somehow Sirius and James had managed to find over fifty dungbombs, and every time Severus turned a corner, one exploded. By the end of the day he was covered in brown, disgusting smelling stuff, and the Slytherins had forbidden him to walk with or talk with them. James and Sirius estimated the smell wouldn't fade for at least a week.

[][][][][][]

Finally, after months of studying – or goofing off as the case was for a certain number of fifth years – the dreaded O.W.L.s had arrived. Ordinary Wizarding Levels. Remus felt like he had barely slept. At the very least it was a week after his turning, so he felt fine physically. But the aching in the pit of his stomach had nothing at all to do with the moon.

Surprisingly, they weren't as bad as Remus thought they would be. Charms was simple, and History of Magic – while needlessly complicated – was a snap. Even Herbology, Remus' second worst subject, went perfectly. All they had to do was show off the Bubotuber plants they had been caring for the entire year, and gather some of the pus, and then write a short essay on the uses of said pus. Really, Remus had been expecting Sprout to whip out some plant that they had never seen before in their life, and expect them to tame it and have extracted all its secrets in an hour.

Because of that he went into Defense Against the Dark Arts that Thursday with a smile on his face. He sat down in a desk next to James and behind Sirius, and waited patiently for the assignment. It was half theory and half practical, and so the proctor began by handing out all the parchment and special quills that they were supposed to use, and Remus looked down at them as the elderly wizard began to speak.

Hours later, they all set down their quills. The test was half-over, and Remus felt a sigh of relief. He was sure he had done it properly, at least this portion. James and Sirius were up out of their desks so quickly they nearly turned the pieces of furniture over completely. Remus sighed, and watched as James' gaze fell upon Severus Snape in the back of the room. The room was emptying, and people were hurrying out. They had two hours to eat lunch and prepare for the rest of the exams, and most of the students were going outside to read or eat snacks under the beautiful spring sunshine that they had been shielded from all day.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: So, just another chapter. Sorry this one was a bit late. As a thank you for being my 100th reviewer, LoverFaery got to request a piece of writing from me. You can check it out now, I've posted it here on for everyone to read, though it's dedicated to her. It's called The Black Sisters, and it's just a fun little story of Narcissa's eleventh birthday. But I spent yesterday writing that, and was a bit unmotivated to get this chapter done. Anyway, back on schedule.

This chapter is basically a series of small vignettes about the spring of 1976. As you might recall, the last bit there is the set-up for one Severus Snape and his Worst Memory. After that, nothing more of fifth year left to say!

And just so you know, I decided I liked my idea so much, that the person with the 150th review will ALSO get to request a oneshot harry potter fanfic, and then the 200th review, and so on. So keep on reviewing and you might be the next one!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_pshhh yeahh, PharaohDeli, freakyprincess-87, LoverFaery, and Lonewolfe001: _ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS WOOOOOO. Never would have gotten this far without you guys. THANK YOU


	26. Chapter 26: Snape's Worst Memory

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: End of Term, 1976. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Did you like question ten, Moony?"

"Loved it. 'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.'"

"Do you think you managed to get them all?"

"Think I did. One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin..."

James, Sirius, and Remus all laughed as they stood in the crowd that was exiting the castle. The brilliant sunshine poured into the front hallway, and Remus smiled as a beam of warmth hit him directly in the face, drowning out the remaining thoughts of exams. No need to panic over those questions. Defense Against the Dark Arts was a breeze, what with James and Sirius studying advanced magic and Remus inevitably getting dragged along.

Peter was going on about the werewolf question, but James cut him off. "How thick are you, Wormtail? You run 'round with a werewolf once a month-"

Remus stiffened. "Keep your voice down!"

They finally got out of the castle. James and Sirius made a direct beeline for the lake. Remus glanced over at Peter, who was wringing his hands together still, looking upset. Ahead of him, Sirius was tossing his hair. It caught a few strands of sunlight, and Remus smiled. "Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake! I'll be surprised if I don't get Outstanding on it at least."

"Me too." Remus blinked as James tugged something from his pocket, which Remus couldn't identify until the noontime sun glittered off the golden ball.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Nicked it." He let it go, watching it float off, and then he caught it again. It buzzed lazily through the air just like the bumblebees wandering around the grounds. At least while he was toying with the Snitch Peter seemed to forget about exams, merely following beside Remus and only a few inches behind their friends.

James and Sirius seemed to have decided on a good spot, as Remus nearly ran into Sirius when they stopped at the huge tree. He glanced at the lake, recalling that only a month or two ago Sirius had dragged him out of bed, and Remus had stood right underneath this tree while Padfoot had soaked him through with water. He dropped his book bag while James and Sirius slumped down. Such teenage boys, they sprawled in the warm grass. He might have rolled his eyes. He could practically hear his mother making a comment about bad posture. Remus sat down more gracefully, and Peter flopped over much like a beached whale, before righting himself.

They relaxed. Remus pulled out his Transfiguration textbook. It was their best subject, but Remus just had to read the chapter that McGonagall had mentioned in class the day before exams had begun. He had even stuck his bookmark in there, and now he removed it and tucked it away, before spreading the book in his lap and reading. He could almost hear Sirius' derisive snort at the sight.

He looked up every few seconds. Sirius looked bored, but Remus watched his eyes wander over to the side of the lake. James' eyes kept drifting in that direction too, and Remus peered over to where Matilda Robinson, Lily Evans, and a few other girls were gathered. Elise had evidently been tossed aside, though Remus couldn't say he was surprised. She wasn't a "girlfriend" so much as a "female friend with benefits". Just the other day when Remus and Lily had been patrolling, they had caught Sirius near a tapestry with a _seventh_ year girl no less. Remus had been embarrassed, but Lily had almost been irate. He smirked a bit at his book as he read.

The buzzing of the snitch, the warmth of the sun, and the general atmosphere of lazy boredom made him feel a bit sleepy. He was more inclined to want to nap at this moment than study, but he had to finish this chapter on the law of elemental transfiguration. He turned the page, sighing quietly, as Peter cheered and clapped for what felt like the thirtieth time as James actually had to hop a few inches to get the Snitch back in his grasp.

"Put that away will you? Before Wormtail wets himself with excitement." Sirius rolled his eyes.

Remus peered up, to see one of those telepathic conversations. The two boys argued without saying anything while Peter hastily settled back down in the grass, and then James grinned and ran his fingers through his hair to stick it up further.

"If it bothers you."

Sirius smirked back, but it faded and he made a small noise. His toes, inches from where Remus was sitting, were twitching impatiently. "I'm bored. Wish it was full moon."

The sandy-haired boy looked at him from underneath the strands of hair falling into his eyes, and his jaw clenched in annoyance. Sirius knew just how he felt about that, it was almost as though he were goading Remus into talking as punishment for reading and not entertaining them. That was probably the case, as Sirius needed attention or else he got all twitchy. "_You_ might." He finally said, ignoring the look that Sirius gave him and propping up his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, you could test me." He offered the book at Sirius, a crooked smirk on his face. He knew exactly what Sirius was about to say, pulling the book back into his lap before Sirius even spoke.

"I don't need to look at that rubbish. I know it all." Sirius said haughtily.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot." James had a glint in his eye that Remus knew all too well, and four sets of eyes followed his gaze over towards a gathering of bushes. "Look who it is."

Immediately, Sirius and James had The Look. It was the same expression they always got before a trick, or a prank, or something equally as diabolical. The predatory one, the one that made Remus' insides squirm uncomfortably. Remus saw Severus sitting over there, but he was trying to ignore it, gripping the sides of his book. The weight of his Prefect's badge felt a bit heavy. He sometimes wondered if the badge was charmed to detect whether or not the wearer actually meant to fulfill his duties. He heaved a sigh, straightening and preparing himself for whatever James and Sirius decided to do for entertainment. He was accustomed to this by now.

"Excellent... Snivellus."

As a unit, the two dark-haired boys stood. Remus pressed his lips together, and resolutely he decided that it would just be better to read. Unfortunately, he was listening too hard to James and Sirius to even be able to comprehend the words on the page in front of him. He heard the shuffling, awkward gait of Severus approach closer. He could almost feel the uptake of energy from Peter beside him.

"All right, Snivellus?"

The dull thud of Severus' book bag made Remus look over, just in time to see James disarm the Slytherin without even thinking about it. Sirius' laugh rang in his ears. Remus might have still been seated, but he could well imagine their faces. Severus shouldn't have played right into their hands, but ever since last year he was a target that neither of them could refuse. Sirius himself seemed to have put a personal vendetta on the greasy-haired boy's life.

Sirius' turn, he jinxed Snape. Remus sat up straighter, and slowly closed his book, keeping two fingers against the pages. Now they were garnering attention, and he could hardly ignore what they were doing. Peter had gotten up, and Remus shifted to let him past so he could watch. He refused to stand, refused to take part, but that didn't mean he was blameless. He _should_ be stopping them, but trying to stop James and Sirius once they had their hands on Severus was impossible. James was looking back at the group with Lily, but Remus doubted that she would be in support of this. Honestly, teenage boys never used their heads. Remus kind of wished that just once _he_ was a raging ball of hormones. But somehow Remus had passed up all the hormonal stuff and was now lodged securely somewhere in his early forties.

Laughter tittered through the crowd as Sirius said something witty. Remus honestly wasn't listening to what they said. He was more concerned with their actions, his eyes following their hands – and therefore wands – closely. The hatred on Snape's face was nothing new. Remus remembered the one and only time that hatred had been turned on _him_ with a shudder.

"_Scourgify_." The spell came from James, and Remus very carefully gripped the half-opened book, glancing at it with an inner sigh of disappointment. He was preparing to get up, should this escalate any further.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE."

Remus sighed in relief as – in a whirl of angry red hair and flashing green eyes – Lily appeared from where she had been by the lake. At least _someone_ with authority had arrived. Remus settled back onto the grass. Now this he was mildly entertained by. He rolled his eyes as James fiddled with his hair. "That isn't why she's coming over here, you git." He mumbled to himself. He could almost imagine James' stupid – though admittedly charming – grin.

"All right, Evans?" He was using that voice again, the one that annoyed Remus. He went from malicious to nice in about five seconds, as though Severus wasn't laying on the ground spitting out soap and struggling to move. Remus felt himself rolling his eyes a second time.

"Leave. Him. Alone. What's he done to you?"

"Well... it's more the fact that he _exists_." Remus winced a bit, knowing that was the exact wrong thing to say.

"You think you're funny. But you're just an arrogant, bullying, toe-rag, Potter. Leave him alone!"

Remus winced even harder, suddenly finding himself _very_ interested in Gamp and his various studies of Transfiguration and summoning. Then, James said about the stupidest and most foolhardy thing he had ever said – since that time he had dared Peeves to go steal McGonagall's hat without thinking the poltergeist actually would.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on. Go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on ol' Snivelly again."

"Oh bugger." Remus whispered under his breath.

His eyes glanced over at Severus, and he looked at Lily, who was speaking angrily now, her cheeks turning that particular shade of "Potter Red" as he had come to call it. That expression of contempt on her face was the one reserved for the bespectacled Marauder. Remus was glad that his book was too far away for her to throw.

Sirius' shoulders became funny all of a sudden, and then Severus was pointing his wand over at James. Remus was now watching in horror as an all-too-familiar light hit James in the side of the head, and a long gash appeared. Remus scrambled onto his feet, the blood hitting his nose and nearly making him fall backwards again. Thankfully it wasn't a hard hit, because James was flicking his wand and yelling, and Remus stepped back as Severus flipped upside down and his underwear was revealed to the entire grounds. He had a sick pit in the bottom of his stomach. The exchange was no longer the simple "witty repartee, punching/jinxing, storming off" situation that was so common with Severus nowadays. Now it was an Incident, just as surely as it had been that fall.

Lily snapped at James, and then Severus collapsed into the grass. Remus found himself chewing on his lower lip as Sirius cursed the two boys in front of him. And now Lily's wand was up, and Remus slowly slid his hand into his robes to touch his, just lightly. He didn't know what he was going to do if they all started dueling right on the grounds.

"Aw, Evans, don't make me hex you."

They were still arguing, and Remus relaxed his fingers a bit as Severus was freed. James made a snide comment, and then all of a sudden the action came to a dead halt.

[][][][][][]

"...filthy little Mudbloods like her..."

The crowd seemed to tense as a unit. Remus felt cold, black emotion filling his chest. His grip became firm on his wand again, and he pulled it slowly out of his robe. Severus had just said the precisely wrong thing. He looked at Lily. She didn't seem to know what to do. But rather than get angry like she always did at James, something in her posture shifted just subtly. It was as though she had taken a step towards James and Sirius and the rest of the crowd on the lawn. Where she had once been straddling the line, she had crossed it, for better or worse. He hardly heard what she said, in a voice so cool he could barely believe it. After the things she had said just that year on patrol. After the friendship she had had with Severus since they were children, she just gave it up, instantaneously?

It was James that got angry though, jerking Remus' attention back to him. Lily – strangely enough – reprimanded James for defending her, and they were arguing again. He slid back down into the grass with a sigh, working his jaw in silence. Then, just as he thought it was all over, another levicorpus dragged Severus back up into the air. Remus let out a small groan, rubbing his temple with two fingers.

"Enough!" Remus said angrily, grinding his teeth. "James, drop him or else I'm going to take forty points from you and I don't care if it's my own house or not."

The spell that had fallen over the grounds seemed to break as Remus became all Prefect-y again. With a huff James turned around and flung Severus roughly into the grass. He glared at Remus, who stared right back, straightening his shoulders. Sirius looked at Severus with longing as the Slytherin scrambled to his feet. But they all seemed to have lost the urge to cause mayhem, because Severus ran off, dragging his book bag behind him.

"Great bloody job, _Prefect_." James snapped. Even Sirius seemed surprised at the ferocity in the boy's tone.

"Don't talk that way to me, James." He said it in his usual parental tone, and it was met with a rebellious teenage expression in James' eyes.

"Go to hell!"

Remus stared James in the face, straightening up as James slouched into the grass. Hazel eyes looked into brown, and then James seemed to deflate rather like a balloon that had been poked. He sank into the grass and a morose look passed over his face. Deducing that his bad mood had passed, Remus very calmly picked up his book and returned to reading. The incident however, was not allowing him to focus.

That evening, they were all collapsed in the common room. Remus felt as though he had ridden an emotional roller coaster that day. Sirius had been annoyed almost all day. During the Defense Against the Arts practical exam, Remus had nearly let himself fall into a Devil's Snare because he hadn't been focused. Other than that though, he was sure they would do all right. Even Peter had managed to... well Remus suspected he passed anyway.

A group of girls were all chattering in the corner suddenly, and Remus looked up from his book in boredom. Lily was looking upset while Matilda was saying something and pointing to the portrait hole. Finally he spotted Lily leave common room, closing the portrait securely behind her. He returned to his book.

Ten minutes later she returned, whipping past everyone and up the stairs to her dormitory. Remus could have sworn that he saw tears in her eyes. He frowned, but no one else seemed to notice, and he went back to his book.

[][][][][][]

"ALL RIGHT."

James nearly toppled right off his chair.

"I'm sorry!" He cried out instinctively as Lily Evans gazed at him flatly. He shielded his face with both arms, preparing to be jinxed or hexed or otherwise unpleasantly treated.

She ignored his ridiculous pose. "All right! James Potter! I'll go out with you."

"Wha... What?" James paused, peering in between his arms at her. She was flushing, but not angrily. Clearly she was embarrassed.

"I'll go out with you."

"I... what did I do?"

She was pink with annoyance. "You didn't do anything."

"Oh. I..." He was aware of the very strange and very new experience of having the entire common room staring at him and him not enjoying it. James liked attention, but now he felt a bit embarrassed. "So it was something I _didn't_ do?"

"Are you going to sit there and ask me questions or are you going to listen to what I'm saying!" Lily demanded. James shrank slightly.

"Yes ma'am."

"You will leave Sn-Severus alone. Mostly... you won't make a huge production out of it." She seemed unsure of what she was saying, as if she didn't really mean it. James frowned and looked at her, easing more calmly into his chair now that he knew she wasn't going to punch him or throw things. Lily had tiny little fists capable of causing great pain.

"Er... okay." James agreed readily enough.

"And I am going to give... this..." She motioned between them, "a shot. But if I still don't like you... _well_!"

He was nodding now, a slow smile spreading over his face. "So did I wear ya down, Evans?"

She glared, and he shrank back, mumbling an apology. "You get no third chance, Potter." She said firmly. "If you mess this up, I will personally Obliviate you of any memory of me whatsoever. I'm ruddy good at Charms, so don't make me do it."

He gave one very short nod. "School's almost out though, why did you wait?"

"Because... I had to make up my mind. And this summer, there will be no canoodling with Muggle girls. You are now an attached man, and I expect letters. Lots of letters. At minimum one a week, I'd prefer one every other day, got it?" She had one hand on her hip now, and James felt a light, fluffy feeling spreading through his core. "And they will be nice letters. Long ones."

"Yes ma'am!" He said it enthusiastically, and she sighed. It was the sigh of someone who had just decided that they were in way too far over their head, and wanted to back out. Remus sighed that sigh almost every single time he and Sirius made a plan that involved dungbombs or sneaking around the castle.

"I'm going to regret this." He heard her mutter as she turned and walked away.

[][][][][][]

"School's over."

"Mhm." Remus responded. He had nearly fallen asleep, book open and face-down on his chest. It was early evening, and the four boys were out on the grounds again. They were enjoying their last day of freedom before boarding the train the next morning. Remus was still recovering from the moon two days ago, bandages around his knuckles, and so instead of focusing on his book he had stretched out in the cool evening grass and placed his hands behind his head.

Sirius was laying next to him, and James was sitting off to the side. The snitch he had been playing with a week ago was now feebler, and though he continued to throw it in the air and pluck it back out, it was less thrilling than it had been during exams. Peter was flopped on his stomach, laying on a pile of black fabric that was his robe all bundled up.

"Are you coming to visit?" Sirius asked, glancing over at Remus.

"You know I'll try." Remus said, stretching out and yawning. "But dad actually meant it when he said we're going to be taking a trip to Germany this summer. He's going on business. I'm pretty excited about it actually. I'll get to see some things, meet new people."

"German girls," Sirius whistled.

"How vulgar."

"German boys?"

"Oh do shut up, Sirius. You're insufferable."

"And yet you continue to suffer me. Either you're bonkers or I'm not as insufferable as you say."

Remus merely rolled his eyes and stretched a bit in the grass.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well this chapter is literally the most canon chapter. In fact, every single bit of dialogue in the first two bits were pulled straight from the book. Ah, well. It had to be done. I really liked doing it from Remus' point of view. JKR made it seem as though Remus was a mostly useless lump, which isn't exactly true, right? Lol, I hoped so anyway. Next chapter, summer. Hope you enjoyed!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_PharaohDeli, pshhh yeahh, Jeagerjacques615, LoverFaery, freakyprincess-87, Book-Mania-Girl520: _You guys are FANTASTIC. I love ya!_  
_


	27. Chapter 27: Runaway

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Summer, 1977. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"You foulmouthed little beast!"

Sirius slammed the door behind him. A few moments later it flew open again, and he whirled to look upon Walburga Black, his _dear_ mother. Her face was red from screaming, her black and silver hair pulling from her bun. He glared at her as furiously as possible, and she stared right back.

"How _dare_ you defile the name of Black?" She said, her grey eyes glittering with rage.

"Oh because the Great and Noble House of Black hasn't defiled itself enough?" Sirius shouted. His heart was boiling in anger, his very soul was screaming, wrenching in his gut. "Dark magic, evil beasts, you think that you are so much better than everyone else and you are _nothing_!"

She pulled out her wand, and Sirius felt a spell whiz over his head. His own mother was trying to jinx him now, and he felt a cold chill of determination slide down his spine. He roared wordlessly in anger, picking up a small globe from his bedside and flinging it at her. "You scoundrel! You blood traitor!" She shrieked as the globe shattered to her right.

"Better a blood traitor than a raging bitch!" Sirius shot back, and another spell went over his head.

"You! You wretched boy! I wish you had _never_ been born! I wish Regulus was here in your stead! I wish he was our only son!"

"You have your bloody wish then! I won't be a son of Black any longer!" In his anger, Sirius felt the untamed magic in him. It twisted and struggled, yearning to be free. He recalled the day long ago when he was still young, still able to use his magic without reprimand, when Regulus had broken his toy soldiers and Sirius had sent him onto the roof of the house where his brother had screamed and cried until he had been fetched down. It had been the first time he had ever used his magic, his father had actually been proud of him.

"Don't you dare speak to your mother that way! You should be grateful we've treated you so kindly all these years, despite your worthless friends and your useless house." His father raged from the hallway, dark eyes glaring.

Sirius' nostrils flared, and he wished very much that he could go dog. He would tear them to bits with great big paws and great snapping jaws, and this would all be over. "My gratefulness knows no bounds!" He hissed, grabbing his dresser and dragging it open, so the contents spilled out over the floor. He started shoving things in his trunk, books and trinkets and parchment and clothing, pounding it all in there with all the rage of a sixteen year old boy who had finally gotten fed up. "I won't be a burden to _you_ any longer!"

His mother stood in the doorway, looking confused. It was as though she had been expecting him to give up, to apologize, or at the very least to be silent again. He slammed the lid of the trunk closed and glared at her. "Get out of my way unless you want me to stay!" He shouted at her. It was a dare. She wouldn't relent, she would say something about him being her eldest boy, the heir of the Blacks, she would make him stay, and he would, reluctantly, unpack his bags. Silently, she paused, as though she _might_ change her mind, but then she and his father moved out of the way, and he stormed off.

Down the stairs, down the hall, dragging his trunk, his broom in his other hand, wand burning at his thigh. He had no idea what he was doing, until he found himself marching down the street, and the anger in him slowly began to fade. He was one block away, two blocks, and then suddenly he had no idea how far away he was at all. He dropped the trunk, his chest rising and falling, and he looked around the dark streets of London. He was alone, and he slumped down on the curb to try and gather his thoughts.

Finally, he decided upon a destination, and he stood again, raising a hand into the air. He'd never ridden the violet form of wizarding transportation, but soon enough he heard a screeching noise, and a large blur appeared in front of him. It halted abruptly, and he saw people through the windows go flying. A young bloke, only a few years older than Sirius, poked his head out. "Are you coming in or what?"

Sirius lurched forward and handed over his trunk and his broom, and clambered aboard the Knight Bus. It was filled with beds, and he plopped himself down. The young man grinned at him. "What's your destination?"

He paused. "Er... the home of Andromeda and Ted Tonks. I don't... actually know the address, except it's south of London."

"You hear that Ernie?"

"Aye!" A squat wizard with enormous glasses didn't look up from his perch at the driver's seat. "We'll get there!"

Sirius flew back into the bed as the bus took off again. He gripped the edges of the mattress as the bus flew through the streets. Objects were jumping out of its way as Ernie skidded and swerved off the road, mailboxes and light poles and even the cars zipping through the streets. He settled himself more evenly on the bed, but it seemed that the moment he released the mattress Ernie would make a turn that threw him into a wall and then the floor. Other wizards were snoring away, but he felt that might be a bad idea.

[][][][][][]

It felt like ages before they finally stopped. He saw the squat little house, and he smiled. It looked just like a place that Andromeda would live. Three years ago he had received a letter from his favorite cousin. The witch had been wed to a Muggle-born, and stripped of her Black family name. He had congratulated her however, and again a few months later when she had sent him another letter letting him know that she and Ted were going to have a baby. That summer, his mother had shot Andromeda's name off of the tapestry in the hall, and Sirius had continued to send her letters, out of spite. She had invited him to come stay with her and her husband should he ever need to get away for a little while. And that is just what he was doing. He stared at his trunk. He had nothing left.

No _real_ family. Well, James was family. Auntie and Uncle Charlus. And Andromeda. But the house that he had suffered within for years and years, the room with the posters he had painstakingly stuck to the walls. The anger, constant burning anger, it faded as he walked up the front steps of the strange house. He knocked on the door.

A man opened it a while later. Sirius looked up at him, he was quite a bit taller than the sixteen year old boy, even if Sirius had been constantly growing for the last year or so. The man looked confused. "Who're you?"

Sirius straightened nervously, looking at the man. He had fair hair, and was bulky and young. Andromeda said that Ted was only a few years older than her. "Sirius. Er... Sirius Black."

The man seemed to stiffen at the name, and stared down at him. He was being examined. "Black?" The man repeated.

"Teddy? Who is it?" He heard the voice of his cousin. Darker than Narcissa yet lighter than Bellatrix, he spotted her figure over the edge of one broad shoulder.

"Dromeda!" Sirius said brightly. She looked startled, but a moment later she grinned.

"Sirius! Oh Teddy, let him in. He might look like a Black, but he's a good one." Ted immediately moved aside, and Sirius walked in and gave his cousin a hug. "Oh Merlin! Sirius, you've gotten so huge! What happened to you? And your hair, you look like a right ruffian."

"It's been over five years since we last saw each other. You'd only just started dating Ted, you said, and after that they stopped inviting you places." Sirius said brightly. He looked a bit concerned. "I... er... I've run away. They... didn't stop me."

"Oh dear. Come Sirius." She flicked her wand at his trunk and broom, and they set themselves on a chair in the front hall. "Come on in. Have something to eat. Did you eat dinner?"

A small girl came sprinting out of the adjacent room. Ted rushed forward and scooped her up. The little girl laughed hysterically, and her soft childish curls – which had a moment ago been a very light brown – were suddenly turning darker, and more red, and Sirius stared. Andromeda guided him into the dining room, where three plates had been set up.

"That's little Nymphadora." Andromeda explained. "Let me get you a plate from the kitchen. We're just having roast and potatoes tonight, but there is enough for you." She traced a chair in the air, and the drawing solidified and fell down, and the entire round table arranged itself so that there were four chairs and four plate settings, and a plate came floating out of the kitchen piled with roast beef and perfectly browned potatoes, and set itself down at the empty place. "Sit, sit. You can explain more as you eat."

Ted placed Nymphadora on the booster seat. Her roast had already been cut up into little pieces. Her hair returned to the light brown color, identical to Ted's hair, and she happily picked up a potato between her tiny fingers and began to chew on it, her bright eyes scanning everything. Sirius took a bite of potato listlessly, but it turned out to be so tasty that he was quickly stuffing his mouth while the two adults watched him.

"We had a row. I... I put up some posters in my room. Muggle girls in bikinis..." He thought about it with a sigh. Ted grinned at that, and Sirius shrugged. "Mum was... displeased. She yelled, tried to take them down, but I used a ruddy good Permanent Sticking Charm and they wouldn't come off, and she said something about Muggles and I got angry, and I said something about her stupid portrait that she put up in the front hall, and then we were screaming... and I said I was leaving, and they didn't stop me... so I left."

Andromeda clucked her tongue, and poured him more lemonade. "Well, I can't say my own announcement of marriage to Teddy didn't garner similar reactions. Ah well, we can't all be perfect little Black children, can we?"

Sirius and Andromeda laughed, and Ted grinned though Sirius suspected that he didn't quite get the joke. Ted and Andromeda looked at each other calmly, and Sirius saw something go between them. Then the ex-Black smiled at him. "You are of course welcome to stay with us for a bit. Even the rest of the summer, 'til you go back to school. Of course we only have the two bedrooms... but we can all squeeze around it and make you fit."

The dark-haired boy looked over at Nymphadora, who was picking up the beef in her fingers and nibbling on it. She looked at him, and tilted her head to the side, and in a moment her soft curls darkened, darker and darker, until she was just as raven-haired as the teenager sitting across from her. He blinked.

Ted laughed. "Dora, you know what we've said about that stuff?" The girl giggled wildly, and her hair went back to normal.

"Is she... a Metamorphmagus?" Sirius eventually asked.

"Aye, seems that way. We aren't sure how, since Andromeda doesn't know any Blacks with it, and I sure as heck can't have it. No magical blood to speak of in me." Ted chuckled, and Andromeda looked at her husband kindly. He watched as they held hands over the table, and he felt very slow and foolish, as though he was a boy who had stomped on an anthill just for fun. He had come into their space, and he was too big, and this house would never work for him to live, even temporarily.

"I think... I'll only stay a day or two. I'll send a letter to James. His parents will take me in for the rest of the summer. I practically live there now." He laughed softly. "I can just crash on the couch here to keep out of your way."

Andromeda looked grateful while also trying to look disappointed, and then nodded. "Whatever you prefer. I'm sure that you'll be much happier with James anyhow. He's your best mate, right?" She looked at him gently. "Don't worry, Sirius. Everything will be fine."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, everything will be fine."

[][][][][][]

_Dear Sirius._

"No no." Remus crossed out the words. He looked over at the dresser of the small cottage where his family was staying. They were in the outskirts of Berlin. His father was working with the German Ministry of Magic, Remus wasn't sure on what, but the small house was nice, and Remus was enjoying practicing his German. Before now, he had only been able to read and write German, and found his pronunciation was horrid. But thankfully the Germans were quite laidback, and the German girl at the grocery thought he was adorable, if he was understanding her properly.

He was a bit disappointed that he had been forced to learn through letters that Sirius was now living with the Potters officially. James had told him, saying that whenever they brought up the Blacks in any way – other than Andromeda – Sirius went into a rage and things ended up getting broken. "_Thankfully however, good old Padfoot is still in a better mood than his human counterpart, so we spend a lot of time running around in the countryside. We do wish you were here, if nothing else you could bore Sirius to death with your endless reading and he wouldn't be so annoying_."

Remus looked at the letter he had been writing. The "Dear Sirius" was still at the top. He grabbed the scissors from the table and cut off the words.

_ Pads._

Yes, that would do just fine. Nice and casual. Why did writing Sirius a letter feel so strange? Probably because they hadn't talked in a month, not even in letters. Sirius was apparently not interested in writing while he was working out his anger and abandonment issues.

_Haven't chatted in a while._

Right, keeping it casual. Remus had no idea what to say to a boy who had left the only home he had known. It was true Sirius hated the Blacks, but they were still his parents, and his brother.

_I bet you are being kept far too occupied with the local birds – I do mean the kind with womanly bits – to write me a letter. I had hoped to hear from you._

Great, now he sounded desperate. He sighed, and continued with a shrug.

_I know this summer hasn't been the best. As for me, I'm trapped in a busy city teeming with blonds the likes of which you can only dream of. I'm saying this to make you jealous, and not to brag, as you know I become flabbergasted when a girl manages to look at me without horror on her face._

"Remus? Remus, I need to clear the table." He looked up to see his mother, and he nodded and quietly gathered up his parchment and pen, and moved into the living room. Setting himself up on the armchair, he continued, the pen scratching on the parchment the only sound, other than the clinking of plates from his mother in the dining room.

_Mother has been tolerable. I think that's because I've been behaving myself. I do so hate becoming fuzzy now. I think that you and Prongs and Wormtail have spoiled it, for now it is impossible without its monthly walks. I cannot wait until school starts. You think I'm stupid for saying that, but I cannot help it._

He smiled a bit, imagining Padfoot reading that. Only a month left and he was already wishing for classes to begin again.

_I received my O.W.L.s. Ten Outstandings, can you imagine it? Of course I only received Exceeds Expectations in Potions, but we all knew that would happen. Still, I checked with Slughorn at the end of the year, he'll still let me into Advanced Potions next year. I know you two will be taking it. Any news on whether Peter will be repeating fifth year?_

Oh no, more talk of school. Remus frowned. Sirius would be rolling his eyes by this point.

_In any case, I'd like to get some news from you. Even a bit of drool would help. James tells me things in his letters, but I'd much rather hear you are okay from you._

Sappy and cliché. Remus shook his head, and then decided to stop the madness.

_Well, I'll keep this letter short. Do write, Pads. You had me a bit worried. I even took some pictures of the grocery girl that keeps trying to canoodle with me. They are enclosed. James might get a laugh. I know that I chuckle every time my miniature self tries to escape her grasp and go out of the frame. Talk to you soon._

He sat and considered his signature for a while, before he finally swirled the pen over the parchment, in the shape of a crescent moon. Yes, that would do. He folded the parchment up, and wrote Sirius' name on the front, and sealed it shut. "Icarus?" He blinked and looked around.

After a moment there was a soft flutter of wings, and the black and brown owl flew out into the living room. He grinned. Finally, after years of waiting, Remus' parents had given him his very own owl, a handsome one, big enough to send small packages even if he wanted. "There you are." He handed the letter over, and Icarus accepted it with one claw, hooting. "Take that to Sirius. He's with the Potters still, though I expect you know that. And don't let James take it. _Only_ Sirius gets that letter, you make sure of it." He patted the owl on the head, and with an obedient hoot Icarus took off into the evening sky, flying northwest.

[][][][][][]

"Another letter from Lily!" James said triumphantly as he rushed into his bedroom. Sirius was looking through a Muggle car magazine lazily, and he didn't even look up. "Oh come on, can't you pretend to be excited?"

Sirius snorted. James frowned. He loved Sirius like a brother, but honestly, the boy was starting to get on his nerves. Dorea and Charlus had accepted Sirius into the family the moment that James had agreed that having Sirius live with them would be the best idea ever. When Andromeda had brought Sirius and his things to their house, his mother had embraced him tightly. Sirius had even gotten his own bedroom, though more often than not James and Sirius spent the night in James' room, talking until late at night and falling asleep.

But Sirius had been darker than usual. Certain jokes that had once been hilarious now made him get angry. Twice he had thrown things. He had apologized afterwards when Dorea was fixing the broken vases and knick knacks, and she seemed to understand, but he wouldn't be pacified by anything. James knew that it would just take time. He was sure that when the Marauders were all together again things would be normal.

He slumped down into his desk chair and unfolded the letter, reading Lily's girlish script with a flutter in his heart.

_James,_ (she had stopped calling him Potter, at least)

_Flopsy is doing much better, thank you for asking. I wanted to make a potion for her, but you know. Those silly rules. She seems to have recovered though, from whatever it was. She is a very old rabbit though, I fear that she won't make it much longer._

_ I've sent you another magazine, this one about motorbikes, for Sirius. I'm so sorry to hear about his family, I heard rumors from Slytherin girls about the Blacks, but couldn't have believed that Sirius could have come from such a family. He may be a right git, but he's your friend, and therefore I guess he's mine too._

_ I think we should just call each other Lily and James. Nicknames seem so silly. I know very well that Sirius calls me Lilypad when he is being condescending, and I must confess the name holds a certain amount of nausea. I had no idea you were such a closet romantic, Mr. Potter._

_ No, I haven't heard from Remus, but we're both still Prefects, so I suspect he'll be sending me a letter before too much longer, discussions of patrols and handling first years, and of course, taking care of you two. You really make Remus look like the worst Prefect in Hogwarts' history you know. Even worse than that fellow from _Hogwarts: A History_ that pantsed the headmaster in front of the whole school. Of course you know nothing of this because you are after all illiterate._

_ I got ten O.W.L.s, thank you for asking. All Outstandings. I'm glad to hear that you and Sirius did the same, it wouldn't do to be friends with such a dunce. I'll admit, I'm looking forward to Advanced Potions work (though I'm sure Remus is dreading it), and of course Advanced Charms will be fantastic. Ollivander did always say my wand was perfect for Charms work._

_ Well, my letter has rambled on enough. I shall talk to you again soon._

_ Lily._

James let out a sigh. She had used the "f" word again in her letter. Friends. Despite the fact that they had gone out on an actual "date" a few days before they left for school, and she'd sat next to him in their compartment on the train, Lily had remained aloof. Her letters were kind, but James had a sinking feeling about the whole thing.

He pulled out a roll of parchment and flattened it out against the desk. He heard Sirius make a noise as he mumbled to himself. "Dear Lily? No, too personal, she said no nicknames. My dearest Cauldron Cake... that's _nauseating_, she's right. Lily? No, it just seems too simple. Hey you? Too casual." He chewed on the end of the pen.

Sirius made another noise. "What about... Sweetest Lilypad?"

James chucked the pen over his shoulder and heard Sirius yelp, knowing it had struck home. He smirked and fished around for another pen in annoyance. He couldn't find one, so he turned.

The pen came back at him and hit him square in the nose. "Your reflexes are fading, Chaser. We should go practice."

"I haven't got the time. I've got to write Ev – _Lily_ a letter."

"You write her a letter almost every bloody day!"

"We're corresponding. Unlike you and Remus. He wrote you that letter ages ago and it's just sitting there."

Sirius looked at the opened letter with the crescent moon signature, his brow furrowing. "I don't know what to say to him."

James rolled his eyes and turned back around. "Send him _something_. He'll be coming to visit in a few weeks when he gets back from Germany so you'd better do it before then. He'll nag you when he gets here otherwise."

He went back to chewing on the pen and thinking of what to write to Lily.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Surprisingly dark and angsty chapter. Sirius ran away at sixteen, and I wanted to do a bit about that. Plus I really really wanted to put Andromeda in a chapter. And here she is! And little Tonks. I don't know what's wrong with her, I love the name Nymphadora. Ah Lily, she flip-flops more than a U.S. Senator. (Hopefully that puts your worries to rest about Lily and James finally dating when according to canon they don't get together until seventh year). Next we have sixth year. I have... A TON of stuff set up for the next school year, bad and good, up and down, and I hope that it will keep you reading as long as possible!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_LoverFaery, pshhh yeahh, Book-Mania-Girl520, freakyprincess-87, and PharaohDeli: _constant reviews (and guidance). you guys really know how to motivate me._  
_


	28. Chapter 28: Amortentia and a Moon

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Beginning of sixth year, 1976. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

Remus collapsed into a familiar bed. The soft red curtains, the mahogany wood on the posters, it felt like fifty different kinds of home, and he relaxed into the mattress. Of course he was not destined to rest, because a moment later Sirius collapsed on top of his chest, and he flailed wildly.

"Padfoot, nnng, gerrof!" He said, his voice muffled by the pillows and by Sirius' body.

"Come on! We're going out exploring."

"Now?" Remus said. "It's the first day! Classes are starting tomorrow, I'm tired..." His words were fruitless. James poked his head into the canopy, and Peter was standing behind him, and Remus slowly sighed and shoved Sirius off of him.

The four of them tread quietly. The entire castle seemed to be holding its breath. It was as though everything was waiting in anticipation of classes. He wondered what the castle was like in the summer. More than once he had heard Sirius say that staying at Hogwarts all year would have been his greatest wish. It was of course impossible, but Remus liked to imagine that it was still a wonderful place during the hottest months.

"Where are we going?"

"Celebratory feast."

"Feast? We had a feast."

"Well, it's not so much a feast as it is a bunch of candy that Peter and James got."

"So we're going to eat candy... in the Whomping Willow?" Remus said as they came to the tree.

"No, the Shrieking Shack, stupid. I've decided it's going to be our new hangout. No one can find us there, and we can use it as a headquarters for mapmaking." Sirius shrugged. "It'll be fine, we can store our stuff in the piano, it never gets broken into or anything."

Remus watched as Wormtail hit the knot on the willow, and the tree froze. "Man that's so much better than what I have to do." He complained as they all slunk into the tunnel. Why was the tunnel so much smaller than he remembered? No, it must be that he had gotten bigger. Now they needed to crawl on all fours to get to the Shack. James was there first, opening up the hatch and clambering up.

The room was even more dusty and broken down than usual from several months of disuse. The piano was still fallen over on three legs from where Padfoot had broken it with his body. Sirius hefted it up, and James repaired it, and in a moment it was standing, still busted up, on four legs. Peter pulled a large bag from his robes and dumped it out in the middle of the floor. Jelly beans, candy bars, lollipops, and everything else imaginable. Remus collapsed into the pile of blankets in the corner, smirking and grabbing a bit of Honeyduke's chocolate.

"I hope you paid for this stuff."

"Left a pile of Sickles for 'em." Peter said lightly. "They won't miss it, promise."

Remus shrugged, mouth full of snacks. "You guys are so weird." He felt uncomfortable being in this place. It had been a place of terror before. To try and shift the paradigm was not going to be easy. Although they were enjoying themselves. James had spread out their multitude of sketches and notes.

"So, we've gotten most of the lower floors. We just need to trace the upper floors, and then go back through and identify any secret passages we haven't discovered yet." James made plans as he nibbled on a Cauldron Cake, tapping the papers with his wand. "Then Sirius and I have been researching-"

"My shock cannot be contained."

"Shut up, Moony. Anyway, there are a few ways to make the map come to life. We're going to use some special charmed ink, just like the kind artists use for magical portraits. That will at least enable movement, including the stuff like the stairs. For the people... well we're still working on it. We've got some tracing spells, but it would be impossible to collect enough samples for a tracing spell from every student, so there has to be a way to expand it..."

Remus leaned forward over the map. "I don't think you need a tracing spell, personally I think you need some kind of... ugh, I forget the word. But it's a tracking spell that marks every incoming and outgoing person into the range of a certain object. I think they used to use it on Portkeys, but if we can just tweak it a bit, we can use it within Hogwarts itself, and it should mark everyone down that comes within the confines of our map."

"That's brilliant!" Sirius said excitedly. The three of them leaned over the piles of papers, and Peter continued popping jelly beans into his mouth, occasionally gagging as he got the wrong flavor.

[][][][][][]

"Ten points from Hufflepuff!" Remus called as he watched a student fling a dungbomb into the crowd. He flicked his wand out, and the dungbomb was encased in a bubble, and though it exploded upon hitting the ground, the gas remained within the bubble and didn't stink up the hall. "And if I see another one of these I'll have Filch do a search!"

He flung the bubble out the nearest window and continued down the hall. Sirius and James were behind him, still laughing hysterically. He turned to them in annoyance. "It's not funny. Even if I can't control _you_, I still have to do my job."

"Remus, nice job." Lily appeared from nowhere and joined them as they made their way to Potions. James flushed and reached up to fiddle with his hair, earning an elbow in the ribs from Sirius. "Hello James, Sirius... oh, and Peter." The blond poked his head over Sirius' shoulder and smiled nervously.

"Yeah well I try and keep up." Remus mumbled, and Sirius gave him a pointed look.

"So, how... how are you doing?" James said lightly in Lily's direction.

"Just fine, James." She said lightly. He brushed against her elbow and she took the tiniest step to the left, further away from him. He looked absolutely crushed by this motion, as though she had started throwing things again. Remus watched the exchange, while Sirius was winking at a fifth year girl who tittered and ran off.

Really, it was quite embarrassing to watch. They walked into the classroom to see Professor Slughorn arranging bottles at the front of his table. At the very least they didn't have to share this class with only Slytherins anymore. Now that they were in sixth year the classes were all four houses mingled together.

"Welcome to Advanced Potions everyone." He said brightly, gazing around the room. "Now that you are all here, we are going to be having a little demonstration. Can anyone tell me what is bubbling in this cauldron right here?"

Remus looked at the mother-of-pearl gleam of the liquid, and the swirling spirals. "Amortentia." He said, just as Lily raised her hand enthusiastically into the air. "Er, sorry."

"No, not at all Mr. Lupin. You are correct. Amortentia. The most powerful love potion in the world. Now, what do we know about love potions? Miss Evans?"

"There is no such thing as a true love potion. Most spells and potions designed to simulate love can only create a facsimile of the emotion, nothing more than obsession or lust." Lily recited.

"That is a good answer. Ten points for Gryffindor."

Lily flushed, and Remus looked at the cauldron in a bit of wonder. Slugorn raised his hand, and the class settled down. "Now, today we shall _not_ be brewing Amortentia. It is a potion even too difficult for the likes of you. But, I encourage all of you to step forward and examine it. It is a good lesson in both the dangers of potion making, and the possibilities of your skills in the future should you stay focused. Do not touch it though!"

They all gathered around it.

**ooo**

_Smoke, earth, dirt between fingers. Faded dungbombs and old parchment. And a faint hint of wet dog._

**ooo**

_The musty pages of a book, the dust of an old library, bruises and a taste of blood, and simmering, bristling fur beneath human flesh._

**ooo**

_Broom polish, sweat, glasses cleaner, ink, and a bit musty underneath, like the layer of old leaves at the bottom of the forest._

**ooo**

_Books, flushing anger, a hint of sweat from concentration, overwhelmed by a sweet flowery shampoo._

[][][][][][]_  
_

Sirius inhaled. Musty pages of a book. He peered over at Remus, and felt something stir in his gut. Something not entirely unpleasant. Remus looked up from his musty old book and Sirius quickly looked away, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

"How are you feeling?" Sirius asked.

Remus blinked. His knuckles on one hand were still bandaged up, and he was pale. "About as good as always. Better than I used to, but not ideal of course." He smirked.

He had a crooked smile. One cheek pinched more than the other, and the smile didn't always reach his eyes. Sirius wondered why Remus had so little faith in himself. Remus was no handsome chap like Sirius, or cute and charming like James, but he had a certain ruggedness to him. His hair was always neat, and his crooked smile was engaging. There were plenty of girls who went for the strong silent type, which Remus undoubtedly was.

Now was really not the time to be thinking about types or smiles however. Sirius unfurled the parchment and leaned over the table to show Remus. "We went exploring the grounds last night. Wonder if you could draw the grounds into the map. You're the only one who can sketch properly."

"You called my sketch girlish." Remus said, pulling the jar of magical ink from his pouch, along with the map. He unfolded it, and indeed it was just like the layers that James had talked about. Only just this month Remus had started to draw it. He was the only one who could form the straight lines, and the mathematical precision needed to make the map a perfect scale model of the castle, based on sketches and measurements. Sirius whistled.

"Nah, it looks fine. I like the flourish actually, I think we should make it do that."

"I'll see what I can do." Remus folded the map back up, tucking the drawing of the grounds within it. "You did measure, right? I have to do it to scale."

"Yes yes, we measured in dog strides. And then this morning we calculated how long a dog stride is. About four feet."

"Nicely done." Remus said, praising Sirius like a dog who had just done a trick. "You're getting better."

Sirius should have been annoyed at all the dog metaphors and treatment that he now received, but instead he felt a bit happier when Remus approved of him. It wasn't entirely the dog either. Remus so rarely liked anything that Sirius and James did. Personally Sirius didn't even know why the boy tolerated them. They were great, big, clumsy man-children, while Remus was Mature, an adult, graceful, everything that they weren't.

"Well, we try to please, Moony." Sirius said patronizingly.

[][][][][][]

James was face down on the table again. Sirius frowned at him. "What now?"

"She said... 'let's just be friends'..."

"Did she throw stuff?"

"No, that was the worst part. She was really nice about it." James said, voice muffled.

"Poor Prongs." Sirius clicked his tongue, sitting down at the table. "Have some treacle tart, it will do you good."

"I don't want treacle tart. I want Lily."

"Ah, the fabled redheaded tart."

James straightened up and curled his fingers into a fist. "Don't you talk about her that way."

"Sorry, sorry." Sirius raised his hands. "At least she'll stop throwing things. Though I do wish she'd jinx you. She always knew the best jinxes."

"Remember that one she did with the pimples?"

"Ah yes, Wormy, good times, good times."

James made a noise and slumped down into the chair. "I don't understand. I obeyed all of your stupid rules Moony, I was super charming, I even combed my hair down cause she hated it sticking up all over the place..."

Remus rolled his eyes. "She's a girl you know. They are mysterious."

"Hm. Perhaps we'd all better go talk to Elise's brother."

"Padfoot do shut up."

"Yes sir, Mister Moony, sir."

[][][][][][]

"Ah, the first Quidditch practice of the season." James inhaled deeply. The pitch smelled earthy and green, there was a dusting of leaves from the nearby forest, and a cool fall breeze whipped the banners on the stands. Sirius next to him smirked and waggled his eyebrows.

"Oy Matilda, think you're gonna make it? Regina MacDougal is the main contender for Seeker this year. Skinny little thing might unseat you." He ducked as a rock flew over his head. "Nice throw! You should try out for Chaser instead." James sighed and whacked Sirius lightly in the back of the head, like one might cuff a dog that wouldn't stop barking. Sirius looked back over at him, shrugging. "Sorry mate, didn't mean to give away your job."

"I should make you call me captain." James said in annoyance. "You and your haughty ways. Hello Michael, glad to see you back again. Anyone else trying out for Beater?"

There were several candidates for every post except Chaser. James' superiority in that position was impossible to attempt to go against. Flying was in his blood as surely as breathing was. He took off in the air as he observed the tryouts. Michael McKinnon and Sirius became Beaters again, and Matilda just barely managed to keep her spot as team Seeker. Mary MacDonald – a fourth year who had spent several weeks in the hospital wing the year before – took the spot as Keeper, and the team was complete.

Remus and Peter were sitting in the stands. Peter had wanted to try out for Keeper, but James had convinced him that they needed someone in the stands who would really be cheering for them, not like Remus who was immersed in an Ancient Runes textbook. Still studying for a class he wasn't taking.

When practice was over Remus and Peter waited outside of the locker rooms again. James watched as he and Sirius came out, and Remus looked at them and blushed just faintly. "So we'll meet up tonight, right?" James said quietly, letting the rest of the team get in front of them.

Tonight was the second full moon of the school year, right at the beginning of October, and Remus nodded grimly. "Yeah. Tonight as per usual."

"Don't look so glum, Moony. This is the one night that we all pay attention to you."

"Ha." Remus said darkly, and Sirius clapped him on the back and the werewolf managed a grin.

[][][][][][]

He was so very small. The two big ones next to him were so huge. He was tiny, tiny and squishable. If they wanted he could be crushed, and no one would even know.

No, he mustn't think things like that. The big ones were friends, they wanted him here. They _needed_ him. He was needed.

With a little rat squeak, Wormtail began to move, skirting big branches that wanted to smash. He felt the anger of the tree and it frightened him. Even though the boy inside his head was not afraid, the rat was. The instinct was fear. Fear and scurrying, scurrying along the ground, darkness and staying in the shadows. Never move, never go, unless you have a place to come back to, to hide in.

The knot on the tree was there, and he reached up to hit it with one little paw, and felt the tree stop. Behind him, thundering footsteps nearly made him run, but he diligently scampered down the hole to the Shack. Behind him, he heard four feet turn into eight. Four hooves, four paws, four little feet, all going down the passage. Antlers scraped the top of the tunnel, Prongs was not made for the small space. Padfoot slunk along, and the tunnel might as well have been a cavern for Wormtail. He felt at home among the dirt, the mud, the worms, and the roots of the plants overhead.

It was natural now. The rat didn't understand it, but Wormtail did, he knew the path, he knew the way that lead to the beast. The rat hated this. It hated Wormtail for making it go up the path, and for making it deal with the monster. Even sitting behind the giant antlers didn't help. Thousands of years of fear and instinct curled up in one little bundle of grey and pink.

Everything growled and groaned and moved around them. Ahead of them he heard the monster. Behind a wooden door it paced, back and forth with great brown paws, and the rat trembled and shuddered in fear, and Wormtail flicked his tail back and forth to try and stop it. When they could see the wooden ceiling at the end of the tunnel, he turned, clambering up the leg of the stag to sit upon the flanks, perched in that spot where he could hold onto tufts of the mane while Prongs ran, while all of them ran through the forest later.

Padfoot pushed the door up, his head and shoulders against the wood, and it creaked, and crashed open. Immediately the dog jumped through. There was a tussle. They always wrestled for just a little while. It was all fun and games, a way for the wolf to release the constant tension of a full moon. The painful ripping and tearing of muscle and flesh. Now he could free himself from it.

When the playing was over the two canines bounded out of the tunnel. Wormtail gripped the mane of the stag as the two herbivores followed. They went up the tunnel and back out of the Willow. It made a swipe at them, but Prongs leapt out of the way. Wormtail squeaked, and he heard the stag snort derisively. It was the same snort of James, and the rat squealed almost forlornly.

They ran. They ran and ran, moving through darkness and forests. Brown and black in front of grey and auburn, combining into one animalistic blur. They ran through the forest. Hooves thundered and paws pounded into fall leaves and undergrowth. Prongs jumped, leaping over a fallen log. Wormtail gripped the hair even harder, needing to keep his hold.

Hours went by. Wormtail nearly fell asleep. He didn't do much, just sitting there and holding onto Prongs. His task was complete, the only job he had. Wormtail could not hope to help keep the wolf in line. After the first few months it no longer tried to jump and get him, but the rat and the boy could both feel the hunger that lingered. The wolf hunted the small animals of the forest, gracefully leaping through the darkness.

The wolf was filled with rage, even while running among its adopted pack. It would slam itself into trees, bite at Padfoot and Prongs, and sprint until its paws were bleeding from the force of it. When it killed animals it was vicious. Half the time it didn't eat, it just crushed under snapping jaws and then moved on.

Finally they turned and started heading back towards the Willow. Wormtail became more aware, moving closer to the shoulders, leaning against the neck. As they emerged from the woods the sun peeked over the edge. The wolf collapsed, paws scratching as though he were trying to run while laying down. Wormtail peered over the shoulder of the stag, and watched as fur receded, as claws shrank to fingernails, and bones cracked and shifted. The wolf howled, and half-way through it turned into a scream. Remus struggled for a moment.

Padfoot returned to Sirius, and stumbled forward. In a moment, Prongs was James, and Wormtail squeaked and was suddenly holding onto a thin t-shirt instead of the mane. "Worm, get off." James said, grabbing the rat and dropping him on the ground. He remained rat for a moment longer, looking back and forth, between James who was looking worried, and Sirius who was hovering over the writhing Remus.

Then, he was a boy again, and he stood unsteadily, as Sirius helped Remus onto his feet. Finally he was human again, wholly, the yellow eyes fading to brown. Another moon over, and Peter felt useless all over again.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Here we are, the beginning of sixth year. And my first section from Peter's point of view. I don't think anyone likes him, but I would be remiss if I completely neglected him. He is as integral to the tale of Harry Potter as Voldemort himself, or Dumbledore. Don't worry, I won't bring him up a lot. xDD

And oooooh: Amortentia. I leave it up to you guys to guess who is smelling what, and who everyone smells like. =D I'm sure you'll get it pretty easily.

In any case, though this is a few light-hearted vignettes from September and October, I have much more exciting things planned, so keep reading!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_LoverFaery, freakyprincess-87, and Lonewolfe001: _for always reviewing, even when you don't have much to say._  
_


	29. Chapter 29: The BestWorst Birthday Ever

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: November, 1976. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

Sirius had noticed that his friends were suddenly acting very strange. Peter was avoiding him, which he supposed wasn't really unusual because a few days before Sirius had stuffed Ice Mice down the back of Peter's shirt to watch him wiggle around. But James and Remus were even more mysterious. Whenever he came into the room they stopped talking, as though they were abruptly looking for a change in subject. They vanished after dark on two occasions, which left Sirius bewildered, because where could they go without him?

Finally, a particular day rolled around. It was the day before a day that Sirius realized was a special day. Tomorrow was his birthday, not just any birthday, but his 17th birthday. He would finally be of age, finally an "adult" of the wizarding world.

Of course he had no family to celebrate the day, no watch from his father as a gift, no nothing really. It was just a day which would be no more significant than any other day.

At least, he thought that until midnight rolled around. His eyes flew open as the curtains around his bed parted. Three faces peered down at him. "Er... hello there."

"Marauder's ride." Remus said, waggling his eyebrows. It was a very, very un-Remus thing to do and kind of freaked him out.

"Please don't do that."

"Sorry Pads." Remus said apologetically, looking far more Moony-ish now.

"What are we doing?" Sirius said, getting out of bed and pulling a jumper on over his pajamas. James didn't answer, merely silently leading them out of Gryffindor Tower and down out into the grounds.

He still wasn't sure what was going on, even when they went to the Whomping Willow and Peter hit the knot. It wasn't until James pushed up the trap door and he saw the Shack that he realized what had happened.

His three friends had transformed the room. It was still busted up, nearly destroyed. But tonight the dust had been cleaned thoroughly from every corner of the room, and the wood had been scoured smooth and splinter-free. There were still gouges everywhere, and stains, and fur trapped in a few cracks, but all in all it was much improved.

The most important part was the decoration. A white tablecloth covered the piano. Streamers of red and gold were looped over the walls, and a large banner was draped over the boarded up window. _Happy 17__th__ Birtday Padfoot_. There were piles of blankets and pillows, and most importantly a huge elegant cake was sitting on a small tray in the middle of the floor, with a drawing of a small black dog surrounded by icing trees.

"Er... sorry about the banner. Peter was in charge of that. Moony did the icing, which is why the dog looks sort of lopsided. At least the trees turned out okay. I was in charge of snacks." James pulled out a tray of crackers and cheese and little sausages from behind the piano, and then Peter pulled out yet another bag of candy from his robes. "Happy birthday Pads."

"Uh... wow." Sirius said flatly. Remus ducked behind the piano and came out with three boxes wrapped up in fancy paper.

"Cake or presents?" Remus said, as all four of them collapsed into the pillows at the middle of the room.

"Cake." James and Peter said simultaneously.

Remus glared at them in his motherly way. "It's _Padfoot's_ party."

"Cake." Sirius agreed after a moment. Remus pulled a knife out of his robes and cut into it. It was chocolate with white frosting filling, and Remus doled out equal portions, and then seconds, and then as he was putting a third piece on everyone's napkins – they hadn't thought to get plates (or forks for that matter) – Sirius finally opened his presents.

Peter had gotten him a slew of Honeyduke's and Zonko's products. Not exactly special (at least it wasn't art). But he looked excited and it was a great deal of candy and prank supplies, so Sirius was at least marginally pleased and thanked him appropriately.

Remus had gotten him a book. But at least this time it wasn't a bad book. It was in fact a photo album. He spent a few moments flipping through it. It was filled with all the pictures of fifth year, all four of them, and a few pictures of Lily even. He would look at them harder later, butfor now he just set it aside nicely, touching the leather cover with soft fingers.

James was the nicest of all. He got Sirius a whole slew of brand new posters. Motorbikes, Quidditch teams, and then of course a few Muggle girls, long legs and impressive womanly bits, clothed in bikinis or maybe less. Sirius was looking forward to going over them and very slowly examining the girls. Indeed. That would be an afternoon.

They had more cake after that, and candy, and they spent the night laughing and joking and generally being teenage boys. Remus hadn't even brought a book to the Shack, and he seemed to enjoy himself. At the end of four hours, when they all trailed back up to the dormitory and collapsed into the beds, Sirius had to say that it was one of the better birthdays. Nothing too terribly exciting, but still, his friends had made an effort, and a surprise party, and it was nice. More than he had been expecting, and more than he thought he deserved.

[][][][][][]

That morning when Sirius woke up, he found there were two more boxes sitting on the end of his bed, wrapped in pretty paper, and a large envelope. He scooted over to look at them, and saw that they were presents from the Potters. Enthusiastically, he grabbed the larger of the two boxes and tore into it. Dorea had knitted him a new jumper, and he let the softness roll around in his fingers for a moment before picking up the smaller box. It was quite a bit smaller, and he opened it curiously. Inside the box was a silver watch, brand new. He turned it over, feeling a lump in his throat, and saw that it had been engraved on the backside. _To our other son, Happy Seventeenth Birthday_.

He rather felt like crying as he snapped the watch onto his wrist, though he knew that he wouldn't. His eyes strayed to the envelope with his name on it, and he cracked it open, pulling out two different letters. One was written in a soft flowery hand, and the other straighter, more clean. He picked up the one written by Charlus first.

_Sirius,_

_I know this might seem strange to you, all these letters. We both wanted to tell you certain things, things that would make you feel better about this day. When we took you in this past June we didn't just accept you into our household as a guest. We welcomed you as a son. You and James have been mates for six years now, and in the midst of those six years you have become as much a son to us as James had been for the eleven years before we knew you. You are family, and not just by blood, but with the heart._

_We know you haven't had an easy time of it. Sometimes the family we are born with is no kind of family at all. Sometimes the people that we find at school, or with friends, those are the best kind of family. I believe firmly that despite the fact that your own flesh and blood was never there for you, and didn't truly care about you, that you have gathered a family around yourself anyway. James, Remus and Peter are your brothers, and Dory and I want to be thought of as your parents._

_If you feel we are being too clingy, I can understand that as well. You are always welcome into our house, our arms, anything you need, you only need to ask. Now that you are a man, we won't make you stay, but you can be sure that you always have a bed with the Potters._

_Charlus_

Sirius wiped the edge of his eyes. He felt moisture there, and he made a show of clearing his throat and sniffing in a manly way so that any of the neighboring beds wouldn't think he was on the verge of tears. James and Remus and Peter were all still sleeping it seemed, exhausted from their late night escapades. He set down the letter from Charlus gently, and picked up the other one.

_Dear Sirius,_

_Happy birthday darling. I hope that on your special day you get much more than just presents and kindness. I hope that you find yourself among all the congratulations. I know that you don't like to get lectures from us old folks, you do always roll your eyes even as you listen obediently. But I feel like on this day I have to give you at least a hint of advice. You aren't a boy anymore, but you aren't quite a man either._

_It may sound strange coming from a woman, but I know what it means to be a man. You must seize life, seize love, grab every minute of it. As a boy, you live forever, you are never injured. As a man, you die, and the people you love die, and things fade into the long stretching arms of time with a rigid and unmovable march. You must recognize this, for it can never be more important than during these times we live in now._

_We wanted to be your family. Perhaps you never knew just how much. But when you came to us this summer, well, we were actually glad. I know it is a terrible thing to have left your home and family behind, but we tried our best to make you welcome. You grew up just that little bit this summer, and we are looking forward to seeing you keep growing up, keep moving towards your manhood._

_Sirius you are our new son, and we love you. Please realize how much. You are precious to us, and we are just as proud of the man you are becoming as we are of the man James is becoming._

_Love, Auntie Dory_

Sirius made a soft sound. He didn't understand what she was saying, he didn't really get her advice. But he knew that she was being helpful. They both were. They cared about him. Imagine, it had taken him seventeen years to find parents that actually loved him. And they weren't even his own. It was so shockingly simple, so wickedly easy. It was almost wrong. Two people who had been little more than names on a family tree, perfect strangers, had taken him in with a warm hug and a firm grip. Smiles and laughter and a warm fireplace and _love_. Family meant love. He hadn't known that until the Potters.

When James and Remus woke up they found Sirius very carefully folding a set of letters into their envelope, where he tucked them lovingly into the bottom of his trunk for safekeeping.

[][][][][][]

"Sirius!" Lily walked over at breakfast that morning. The four Marauders were not eating much – stomachaches from candy and cake overloads – and looked a bit tired from their night. She walked over, looking between them with a raised eyebrow. "Dumbledore talked to me this morning, he wants to see you."

All four rose up. Lily quickly shook her head. "No. Just Sirius. He was quite specific on that point."

"Have you been doing things without us?" James said accusingly. Sirius stood up and shook his head lightly.

"Nah, I haven't done anything. Why does he want to see me?"

"Highly unlikely that you haven't done anything, Sirius. He said he wanted to see you right away when I saw you, didn't tell me why." She looked all Prefect-y. Sirius reluctantly rose.

"I'll see you guys then."

James looked at Remus pointedly. He was clearly informing Remus that he should use his Prefect powers to skip class and wait for Sirius. Sirius was okay with this fact, and he smirked lightly at them both as he headed off towards Dumbledore's office.

Getting in was just what he was considering when he approached the gargoyle. Dumbledore however, was standing right there. Sirius looked unsure, worried. Why would Dumbledore wait for him? The headmaster looked at him and smiled. "Come in, Mr. Black. We have a few things to talk about."

Inside the oh-so-familiar office Sirius sat in his usual chair. He denied the offer of tea, his gaze instead flickering over to a man standing to the left of Dumbledore's desk, with a suitcase in front of him. He frowned and began to fidget. It was one of the boy things he did. Tapping his fingers against the wooden arm of the chair, wiggling his toes, touching the strands of hair at the nape of his neck. His hair was long, Remus was right.

"Sirius Orion Black." The man stepped forward. Sirius now saw the crest of the house of Black on his suitcase, and his fingers went from tapping to gripping the arms firmly.

"What the hell." Sirius said, looking over at Dumbledore, who was folding his fingers together on his desk and looking fatherly.

"My name is Gregoire Hammerstrong. I am a solicitor of wizarding law. Specifically of estate law. Do you remember Alphard Pollux Black?" The suitcase was placed on the table, the man clicked the locks and opened it, revealing a pile of folders and paperwork.

"Uncle Alphard?" Sirius said blankly. "Er... yeah. He was okay. Came to a couple of birthdays, gave me some weird presents. I remember one time I got this dagger, I loved it, Mum took it. She didn't like Alphie much I think. Not sure. She always was... oh, you know, mothers..." Sirius laughed, but the words choked him, bile was inching up from his stomach. He swallowed hard.

"Well, I'm sorry to inform you that Mr. Black passed away two weeks ago. We were meant to inform you sooner, but certain... events unfolding in the wizarding world meant that we are... more closely investigating certain family wills. You do understand, it was not that we have anything personal against your uncle, but we do need to take precautions."

Sirius didn't know what this meant at all. "Well... okay then. What does that have to do with me?"

The man pulled out a pile of papers and shifted through them. Dumbledore was looking... headmaster-y. Sirius straightened in his chair as the man evidently found what he needed. "Mr. Black named you, Sirius Orion Black, in his will."

"... oh." Sirius looked very uncomfortable.

"I'm to understand you ran away from your family recently?"

Dumbledore looked a bit concerned at that, as though he didn't know it had happened. Sirius had been under the impression that Dumbledore knew _everything_. He was the greatest wizard ever, didn't he just know things like that? Sirius had been in his office about five times since the year started already.

"Yeah. This summer. I'm living with the Potters now though."

"A good wizarding family." Dumbledore said, as Hammerstrong pulled out a piece of paper from the pile he had been looking through.

"Ah, here we are. 'To my nephew Sirius Orion Black. This may come as a shock to you, but not all Blacks are light and dark. Not all people are light and dark. There are people who appear pure yet live a life of shadows, and there are those that never fought against their family but secretly wish they had. Good show pissing off Walburga, you're twice the man that your father was. I leave to you certain investments, to be cashed out by my solicitor and given to you as a way to live without the influence of family overhead. Make sure to let people surprise you, Sirius.' The next few paragraphs deal with the investments that he wanted you to have. I have already cashed out these investments. The late Mr. Black detailed where they should be kept, and you have your own vault in Gringott's, near the rest of your... family."

Sirius was awestruck. "So... I... how much?"

The lawyer had a sly smile on his face, and very slowly he handed a piece of official paper with a Gringott's header on it. Sirius looked at it rather blindly a moment, until finally reading a number. "Oh." He said, rather lightheaded, "That's a... large number."

"Indeed it is." Hammerstrong said, peering down at Sirius authoritatively. "Because you are of age, you have complete control over this money. Alphard did leave you some advice on it, mostly about investing and whatnot, of course you are free to allow it to just collect interest in Gringott's. This is the key." He handed over a small golden key. "That will take you to your vault. It's under your name."

"Er... anything else?" Sirius said nervously.

"No, nothing else. You can keep that paper you have. And don't lose the key. Good day to you both, and thank you kindly, Headmaster." The man closed back up his suitcase and walked out of the office, leaving Sirius in front of Dumbledore.

"I was not aware of your home situation." Dumbledore said after a moment, staring down at Sirius.

_There are a lot of things about me you don't know, Dumbly,_ Sirius thought to himself, and outwardly he shrugged. "Oh you know. Row with the parents, ran away on the Knight Bus. Was going to stay with Dromeda and Ted, but their house is small, so I sent a letter to the Potters and boom, there they went, took me in and all..."

"The Potters are a wonderful people."

"Er... yeah."

"So how are you?" Dumbledore said.

"Um... fine." Sirius suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"And your friends?"

"Also very fine."

"I see. Well you may go. Just be careful."

"Um... sure."

Sirius walked out of the gargoyle. The entire exchange was strange from beginning to end, but he was mostly stuck on the last bit with Dumbledore. It was almost like he was expecting Sirius to say something else, and was slightly disappointed when he hadn't.

"Padfoot? What did Dumbledore want?" Remus pushed off from the wall where he had been leaning, and moved in to step alongside Sirius as they headed for class.

"There was a man there... a solicitor. He... well... I've suddenly become a very rich man." Sirius said lightly, feeling a bit of giddiness as they sauntered to class.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: So apparently I've decided to say fuck it to word length. Before I tried to keep it at around 5000 words but some chapters are just so much shorter than others so you know what. Every chapter is different. But at least they're all over 3000, right? I don't even know. xD

Sirius' seventeenth birthday. Strangely enough I don't actually have plans for any of the other characters seventeenth birthdays. Maybe I should? Lol, since Peter's birthday already happened anyway... (sometime in september/october). lol whatever.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_StarsOutlineOurStory, Gabar, LoverFaery, freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh, PharaohDeli, Razzle Dazzle Lu: _Wow, that was a lot of reviews for my last chapter there. I'm so excited that new and old alike people are reading and enjoying my story!_  
_


	30. Chapter 30: Winter Darkness

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Early Winter, 1976. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"So then we're going to-"

"I really don't want to know." Remus repeated.

"Oh but it's brilliant!"

"Padfoot, stop it. This is completely inappropriate."

"Oh come on, you love it."

"Pads..." Remus winced as he saw the grin on Sirius' face.

"But just think of what everyone will say!"

"That is exactly what I'm thinking of. This whole... situation... makes things extremely awkward for me."

"Moooony. You'll enjoy it."

"Stop breathing on me, and keep your hands to yourself."

"Oh come on. Three little words."

"I will not."

"Just say yes."

"No. I cannot condone your actions."

"You really need to loosen up. You always have fun."

"You need to stop, and you need to tell James to stop too. The both of you are making me very uncomfortable."

"Exploding."

"Stop it."

"Toilets."

"Oh see, now I have to go downstairs and take care of it."

Sirius grabbed his arm. Remus sighed in exasperation. "Moony, stop being such a Prefect."

"After exploding toilets I won't be anymore." Remus pointed out with a sigh, collapsing back into the armchair.

"Well then you'll be able to spend more time with us you know."

"Yes, because you three are stepping stones on the way to my ambitions."

"You have ambitions?"

"Maybe I do, Sirius Black." Remus said, sighing. "Maybe I wanted to do something with my life. Of course with a permanent record like this one I highly doubt I'll ever get to do anything important."

"What, like you were trying for a Ministry gig?"

"Perhaps."

"That's a good plan." James finally spoke, looking up from where he was uncapping a bottle of broom polish and dipping a cloth in it. "You can help get Sirius out of Azkaban when he finally snaps."

Remus flicked his wand at the bottle of polish, and it closed again. "Do you remember what I told you about that disgusting polish?"

James sighed, setting aside the closed bottle. He did however, begin to polish his broom with the cloth despite Remus' look. "Yes, _Mum_."

[][][][][][]

"Hello James."

"Er... hello Lily."

"I was wondering if you would help me a bit with my Transfiguration homework. You're so good at Transfiguration." She said brightly.

"Oh yeah, of course." He said hesitantly. At least he wasn't stammering like an idiot every time she tried to talk to him. Not that he didn't feel any differently.

"Great, let's go to the library." She hooked her arm into his.

Was she taunting him? Really, he felt his heart flutter in his throat as her warm hand touched against his elbow. Let's just be friends, yeah fucking right. She had to be screwing with him. He felt absolutely mental. He had immediately recognized the smells in the Amortentia. They were smells that he had spent hours and hours rolling over in his mind. At night in the dark, his curtain pulled around his bed, he had breathed in and almost imagined that he could smell her hair right next to his own. The sweet, flowery smell of her hair. He wanted to bury his face in it. He thought that it might be soft. He knew it had to be soft, and thick. He wanted to fist his hands in it while he kissed her.

They arrived at the library too soon, and she let go. "So McGonagall wanted us to write an essay on why food is an exception to the Elemental Laws of Transfiguration, and the other ways to produce food in the case it is needed."

"Er... I'm not so good with essays."

"But Transfiguration is your best subject." Lily said approvingly.

"Yeah, I suppose it is." James said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Oh stop." Lily slapped his arm and sat down at a table.

"Ever considered Transfiguring yourself into stuff?"

"What like... Animagi?" Lily questioned as they opened up their books and settled down at a table. She was close to him, their knees practically touching. He was smelling her flowery smell again, he watched her flip the page and saw the freckles on the inside of her wrist. He wanted to kiss them, to touch her pale skin.

"Yeah, like Animagus."

"I heard that's an incredibly difficult process. Not to mention you don't even know what you'll turn into."

"Didn't you know it was the same as your Patronus?"

"Really?" Lily looked interested, before finding the page that they needed to use. "Ah, here it is."

"Have you ever tried the Patronus?" James questioned lightly.

"I did. It's a charm after all." Lily said with a smile. "I like charms."

"What... what is your Patronus then?"

She looked at him slyly. "Why?"

"Well, because you can tell a lot about a person by their Patronus." James said lightly, pulling out a roll of parchment and his ink.

"I suppose so. What is yours then?"

"A stag." He said rather proudly. "You know, symbol of elegance and manliness and whatnot."

Two spots of color appeared on Lily's cheeks. Not the angry kind of blush, but the embarrassed kind. "Hmm." She said faintly. "All right, so Gamp investigated the laws, and found that food was an exception. Did McGonagall give a reason why?"

James raised an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders. He bent over the book and calmly pointed out the part in Lily's notes where McGonagall had mentioned it. "Right there see. 'Food, not a living thing is still restricted'. What I've never understood is that water can be summoned straight from the wand and yet you can't get make yourself a bloody sandwich."

Lily giggled. "I know, it doesn't really make any sense. Let's do the second bit."

"Well that bit is easy. After all, you can summon food if you know where it is. You can Transfigure existing food into different kinds of food, and... not sure what else."

"Well yeah. How do we turn that into ten inches?" Lily said. She bent over the table, her hair spilling over her shoulders and onto the parchment. Very delicately James reached forward and touched it, pulling it back behind her arm. She jumped slightly. "Sorry, you were... you were about to get it in the ink."

"Oh." She was flushing again. "Thanks."

He nodded, watching her go back to reading. Her bright green eyes gazed at the book with ferocity, as though she were trying to force the book into revealing its secrets. He propped his chin up on his hand, and his elbow on the table, and he watched her, a dazed expression on his face. Her hair was just as soft as he had pictured. His fingertips were still tingling at the touch.

[][][][][][]

Soon enough the first snows came. It was blisteringly cold for all of December. It was so cold in fact, that half-way through the month, only a week before the Christmas holiday, the lake froze over. It was the first time that the lake had frozen over that solidly, that fully, in almost fifty years, according to McGonagall. It was cold enough that one Saturday James succeeded in Transfiguring his shoes into ice skates.

Of course once someone saw the skates, the entire Gryffindor Tower wanted some, and soon a good deal of the entire student body was all traipsing out into the foot deep snow. Sirius and James had managed to force Remus to come out, though Peter was willing enough.

Remus sighed as he trudged through the snow. His robes were getting quite wet, but he ignored it. At the edge of the lake, he watched as dozens of students pushed off from the edge and skated out into the middle of the lake. Remus vaguely remembered sliding over the ice on the river behind the house, but never in skates.

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"Fun until I break my face."

"That could be an improvement." Sirius joked, and Remus kicked him in the back of the leg as they arrived.

A small space had been cleared for them to change their shoes, and all four boys started yanking off their shoes and strapping on the ice skates. Remus felt a bit clumsy on them. Of course James looked graceful. He was only slightly pleased that Sirius also looked unsure of this. Of the four of them, only James had ever actually ice skated before.

However, Remus at least had the smarts to put a Cushioning Charm on himself, Sirius, and Peter. In that case, they would at least not fall hard enough to hurt themselves.

And fall they did. Several times. Remus held onto Sirius and Peter to try and stay upright. James of course got out on the ice and promptly began skating circles around them. Lily was out on the ice as well, and she was doing wonderfully, zooming around. James skated up next to her and they were talking, amicably Remus noticed. It was at least nice to see them getting along. They really were cute together.

Sirius got the hang of it first. Peter gave up after falling for the third time. So Sirius was gripping Remus' shoulder as the two of them went around in circles. James and Lily zipped past them, and Remus glared.

"God... I think I'm done. I'll just go sit with Peter while you guys..."

"No, you're doing fine. Don't leave me all alone with James the Perpetually Obsessed."

"Ugh, I can't get the hang of this. I have no coordination." Remus scowled as suddenly James came by, skating backwards. James shot them both a wave and Remus waved back, this time with fewer fingers and a far less friendly connotation.

"Come on, it's very easy, Moony." Sirius grabbed his opposite should, so that he had a hand on either side of Remus. His mittened fingers gripped the sandy-haired teen's arms, and he pushed Remus. "Just keep your feet straight while we pick up a little speed."

"Pads, I do not like this at all, we're going too fast, Merlin!" Remus said, his eyes widening as the surroundings began to move far quicker than usual.

"It's all right, just keep your feet straight." Sirius came to his side and cupped his elbow. "Okay, now just lift one foot, and push off."

"I don't think I want to."

"Just do it."

"Fine, fine..." Remus tentatively pushed forward. He glided forward perfectly normally, only wobbling slightly. Sirius steadied him calmly, grinning. "Oh, hello."

"There you go! Shall I let go?"

"No! No, don't let go." Remus said hastily. Sirius grabbed him tighter.

"Okay, okay, I'm holding onto you." Sirius said with a soft smile. "Such a pansy."

"I hate you two you know." Remus complained, pushing off with his other foot, then sliding forward further.

"Why?"

"Because there James goes doing bloody figure eights with Lily, and you have never skated in your life before today and you're still teaching me how to do it."

"Oh Moony. I can't help it if you are hopeless."

"Gee thanks. Oh, shit!" Remus fell backwards, and Sirius immediately cupped his arms under Remus' shoulders and caught him. Remus looked up, feeling strands of Sirius' long hair touching the sides of his face. "Your hair is long." He said, before realizing how awkward that was.

"Er... yeah." Sirius agreed, raising an eyebrow. He dragged Remus back onto his feet.

"Well! I just mean, doesn't it get annoying sometimes?" Remus said hastily as they started skating sometimes.

"In the summer I get hot. Then James makes fun when I pull it back with an elastic band." Sirius chuckled.

Remus fell silent, feeling awkward and foolish suddenly as they turned around the edge of the lake and headed back for the bank. He looked up at the castle, and everything seemed to be perfect for a moment. Sirius' hand on his arm, the castle sprinkled with ice and snow, the calm of the white wonderland of the grounds. Ahead of them, James snatched Lily's woolen hat off her head and took off down the length of the lake. She shrieked and started to chase after him, but she was laughing. He'd get her yet, Remus surmised, before he wobbled dangerously and Sirius jumped to use both hands to steady him.

[][][][][][]

"Mr. Lupin!"

Remus spun around automatically and then crashed into the icy lake as Sirius was forced to let go of him. He looked over at the edge of the bank, where Professor McGonagall was standing in the snow. She was barely bundled up, as though she had wrapped her coat around her in haste as she had run from the castle. She looked very worried.

Sirius helped Remus back to the shore, and McGonagall watched as he changed his shoes back. "Yes Professor?"

"You'd better come with me, Mr. Lupin. Dumbledore wants to speak with you."

Sirius looked at him, and then back at James, who was still skating with Lily and totally oblivious. "Professor, can we come with?"

McGonagall gave Sirius a very strange look, and then gazed down at Remus, pity and something akin to fear in her eyes. "You'd better not, Mr. Black. This is a private matter."

She set off for the castle, Remus in tow.

"He's been gone for three hours." Sirius said for the fifth time.

"Actually, it's been almost three and a half hours." James said, without as much worry in his tone as Sirius had.

Sirius glared. "Why would they keep him so long?"

"It's probably just Prefect-y stuff."

"Then why wasn't Lily called?" He asked in irritation.

"Dunno. Maybe Dumbly only needed the one."

"You are not even thinking... oh... is that him?"

Sirius poked his head over the couch and peered at the opening portrait hole. It was in fact Remus, coming back into the common room. He seemed to be dead to the world, walking right past them. He was muttering to himself.

"Moony?" Sirius asked.

Remus jumped about a foot in the air, turning and looking at them. His eyes were wide and red. James perked up, narrowing his eyes. "Wotcher Moony?"  
"Er... hello." Remus said. His voice was raspy and weak.

"Moony, what's wrong?" Sirius said, getting up from the sofa.

"I uh... I have to go pack. Er... Yes, I have to pack, because... because I'm going home early..." Remus mumbled, taking a step back from Sirius. "Sorry, sorry you guys... I won't be staying for Christmas. I have to get back home."

"Why?"

"My mum... " Remus struggled with the words, his knuckles white where he had squeezed his fingers together so tightly. "Merlin... my mum died..."

[][][][][][]

Sirius froze, something in his brain sort of cracking. James and Peter stared from the sofa. "Your mum...?"

"This isn't like before, where it was code for him being fuzzy?" Peter piped up, and Remus turned to him.

Sirius got there first, whacking Peter in the head and knocking him clean off the couch. When he turned around, he saw Remus climbing up the stairs. "Moony!"

He followed him up the stairs. When he got to the dormitory, Remus was digging around his trunk, laying clothes out on the bed, and muttering to himself.

"Gonna need the dress robes... no, probably going to wear a suit... have to pack my good shoes... going to be cold, need..." He was chewing on his thumb, something he only did when confronted with a particularly nasty examination question or when he was forced to read a book he wasn't enjoying – though that was a rare occurrence.

"Moony?"

Remus didn't even look up. "Sorry, I can't talk. I've got to pack my things. My father is coming into Hogsmeade, he's going to Apparate us back home. I have to get ready for the funeral..."

Sirius touched his shoulder. Remus twitched, and Sirius let go. "Moony... Remus." He didn't know what to say. Seventeen years of pranks, jokes, hatred and anger had not prepared him for this. For seeing something that was utterly Remus and yet was also some broken shadowy version of his friend. The inside of him wanted to do something meaningful, and yet he was utterly unable to do so. Manly instincts told him that boys didn't comfort other boys, even after something like this.

"I can't talk." Remus repeated weakly.

"Wait a bloody minute." Sirius said angrily.

"What Sirius!" Remus shouted, turning back to him. "I need to bloody pack so I can go home for my mother's _funeral_. Do you really need something?"

"He doesn't mean it like that." James said. He strode into the dormitory with an air of maturity. "You can't just sprint through the common room with news like that and expect that we aren't a bit worried about you. Sirius is just a berk when it comes to things like that."

"Bollocks," muttered Sirius.

Remus had a fistful of hair in his hands, and he looked from the trunk and the bed to the three boys – Peter was hiding behind James – and made a desperate sort of noise. "I don't know what happened. Dumbledore explained it, but he didn't really explain anything. All I know is I've got to get home for the funeral, and I won't be back until after the holiday, and my dad is a complete mess..."

"It's all right." James said, and Remus sighed. It was not all right, but at least James was trying to be helpful. Sirius looked helplessly at the pile of clothes.

Remus snatched them and started shoving them into his trunk. Remus never just shoved things into his trunk. He packed with careful precision, the socks and underwear folded at the bottom, then the pajamas, then his usual clothes, and then on top the dress robes laid out so they wouldn't get wrinkled. Remus was a master packer, and more than once when Sirius had been lazing about and not packing, he had opened his trunk to find that all his socks and things were folded.

"He's coming in an hour..." Remus sighed. "I'm going to miss that test in Charms, damn it."

"I'm sure McWhiskers is talking to everyone." James grabbed a pair of trousers and began to fold them.

Honestly, Sirius hated James sometimes. He was mature, and calm, and he made Sirius feel like a foolish child who was running around in circles and throwing things. He rather felt like throwing something to be perfectly honest. It was all a little much.

"Yes... yes you're probably right. I... you guys..."

"Do you want us to come?" James asked, and Sirius cursed inwardly. He should have been the one to ask that question. Stupid James.

"I uh.. you really don't have to... I mean, it's just... it'll be depressing... and..." Remus rubbed a hand over his face.

"We want to." James said, and once again Sirius felt anger bubbling up in his throat.

"I don't want to." He said suddenly, feeling the other three looking at him.

Remus slowly smiled. "It's okay. You guys shouldn't come really. My mum's family will be there, all Muggles you know..." James gave Sirius an accusing glance. Sirius puffed up, looking determined. "Really, can't blame you."

"I want to." James said, and Peter behind him nodded. Sirius made a sound.

"Bugger this." Sirius announced, and he left, thundering down the stairs. He felt stupid and childish and angry for no reason at all. His emotions were swirling and he felt ridiculous. When Remus came back down, dragging his trunk, Sirius stared at the fireplace flatly, even when he heard James making a pointed noise behind him. As he heard the portrait hole close, a sick feeling lingered in his gut.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: so... drama. ;; not much to say about this though, only that the next chapter shall be both depressing and touching. I hope.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_freakyprincess-87, DandyDandelion, pshhh yeahh, PharaohDeli, Lonewolfe001, LoverFaery: _even if you don't think it, your reviews really are helpful. don't ever stop!_  
_


	31. Chapter 31: Growing up

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Winter, 1976. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Remus, I can't..." His father came out into the living room, his tie held out in his hands. "I've never..."

Remus smiled gently at his father. The man seemed to have aged about twenty years in the last three days. "I'll do it." He draped the tie around his dad's neck, tucking it under the collar. For the first time, Remus realized that he had grown to be three inches taller than his father in the last few years. He sighed and delicately tied the knot, sliding it up under his father's chin. "There you go."

"Thank you." John looked in the mirror, checking himself over. Remus didn't look very much like his father. Except for the nose. They had a similar nose, and they both got the same confused or concentrating expressions on their faces. Personality-wise he was similar to both of his parents. His father was calculating, focused, well-read. He had instilled a great love of books in Remus. His mother had been soft, sensitive, but just as focused. Especially on rules and propriety. Physically however, he looked just like his mother, light brown hair, honey brown eyes, and shoulders that looked oddly soft on a teenage boy.

Remus silently moved into the living room. The house felt so empty. His father came in behind him, and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Remus?"

"I... no, not really." Remus said weakly. He turned around. "Tell me... please... what happened?"

His father looked disturbed, then guilty, and he sighed faintly. "I should have yesterday. I'm sorry, Remus."

They sat down on the couch. His father looked as though he wanted to do something, hold Remus' hand or maybe touch his arm, but he simply let his hands lay in his lap. Remus had also inherited the awkwardness from John Lupin, who hadn't had his first date until several years after Hogwarts.

Remus had come home three days ago to a hectic house. There were two Aurors in the kitchen, and he wasn't allowed to enter. His father had a mug of tea in the living room, and he wouldn't speak to Remus at all that night, and barely said anything the next day. Remus didn't know anything, except that his mother obviously had not died from natural causes.

"There is a group of people, Remus, that are trying to take over the Ministry. People who want to use dark magic to do so. They call themselves Death Eaters, and they work for a even darker wizard than themselves. They are trying to undermine us from the inside, and destroy the purpose of the Ministry. All Ministry workers are being purged... it is thought that... even the Minister himself might be influenced by this wizard, and that is how the Death Eaters have gotten their hands on employee records and all kinds of information they shouldn't have."

Remus felt cold fear. "Purged?"

His father looked upset. "I thought I was safe. I am Pureblood. But they found out I was married to a Muggle. Even worse than being married to a Muggle-_born_. I should have seen it coming." His father's hands fisted in his lap and he looked away. "I should have seen it _coming_. I didn't know. These dark wizards, they want to remove people of impure blood from the wizarding world... from the world completely. They want to take over the Ministry and use it for their own purposes. They are killing anyone and everyone in their way."

Suddenly, the words of Kalinda last year made perfect sense. Suddenly her _death_ made perfect sense. Suddenly Remus wondered just how many people he knew at one point or another that had died, and their deaths had been little more than a small article in the Prophet. How many people had he known – maybe even _cared_ about – and they were just dead. Gone. Like his mother. He hadn't really accepted the fact that she was gone until that moment. It was rather like she was away on holiday. Any minute she was going to walk in the door, and smile at them both, and scold Remus for letting his hair get messy and scold his father for wearing a red tie with a blue suit. And then she would go into the kitchen and start cooking supper and everything would be okay. Except it wasn't, and it wouldn't ever be.

He stood up and walked away, leaving his father on the couch. He couldn't deal with this now. He couldn't even begin to process this in his brain. He was reeling, falling down two steps as he tried to make it up the stairs.

Remus collapsed into his bed. Moments ago he had been getting ready to leave for the funeral parlor with his father. Now he was utterly Confunded, his mind felt bent in so many different directions. He was a boy who had lost his mother, and at the same time had realized that his world was not filled with fluffy bunnies and hopes and dreams and bright lights as he had imagined it to be.

Now far be it from Remus to imagine that everything in the world was fairies and unicorns. After all, in the wizarding world fairies bit and unicorns trampled most people except innocent girls. Remus had darkness in him, darkness of a purely evil variety. Darkness that bit and howled and scratched and tore flesh and drank blood. He had never pretended otherwise. But there was something in Remus that had always hoped that one day, when he had gotten out of school, when he had grown up, when he was a _man_, things would improve. People would accept him, and even if they didn't accept him they would tolerate him. He'd get a job at the Ministry or in a nice little bookstore and he'd work and maybe meet someone and they'd live happily ever after with perpetually awkward children.

His life had been – pardon the phrase – _magical_. He was at school with friends, he had a family that loved him even if they did secretly fear him. He had clothing and food and a wand. He was a Prefect, he was a Gryffindor. His friends were foolish but they were precious, they didn't care what he was, they liked him even. He was in a world of books, dust, libraries, and learning – despite the connotations those things had for most students at Hogwarts, to Remus they meant everything.

However, now his brain was swirling with blackness he hadn't even known. His world was crashing apart. Remus had had to grow up at age four when a monster in the dark had forced him into becoming a monster as well. But even though Remus had been an adult for many years before this day, there was still hope within him. His heart was filled with thoughts of futures and friends. He knew that beneath it all he was a beast, but even so, people loved him, cared about him, liked him. But hope was a candle that had to be tended carefully, else it go out. And today his candle was trapped in an open field during a hurricane, struggling to stay lit. His nice little globe of existence might as well have been a bubble for all it was destroyed so easily. Popped like a grape between his fingers.

Merlin, he was melodramatic. He put his arm over his face, and heard his father coming up the stairs. "Remus?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine." Remus hauled himself up, wiping wetness from his face that he hadn't known was there.

"You don't have to come with me."

"Yes, I do." Remus said, getting up and joining his father.

"I am sorry."

"No, don't apologize. I...I just never thought this could happen."

His father rested a hand on his shoulder again, and Remus winced at the clichéd pair they made. "Don't worry, please. Everything will be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but we'll get through this somehow. We'll manage. It will be hard. Without Margaret... without her..."

"Dad." Remus said, and he turned and gripped his father in a fierce hug.

For a moment neither of them seemed to know what to do. Then John wrapped his arms around his son, and they embraced, albeit awkwardly, each lost in their own thoughts.

[][][][][][]

"What in the name of Merlin's fluffy white beard are you doing?" Sirius' voice was surprisingly soft, though his words weren't.

Remus had been hiding. He had been hiding from his father, and from his wizarding relatives, and from his Muggle relatives. They had never been in the same place at the same time. The Muggles were looking at the wizards, who were mostly wearing suits – but there were a few in dress robes, and the wizards were looking at the Muggles – who all looked so much like his mother that it really, truly hurt to even think about going back out to look at them.

He escaped to the kitchen, where he was slicing blocks of cheese into cubes, sticking toothpicks in them, and piling them artistically on a tray. He cut the cheese up so that he didn't have to think about carrying the cheese out, and by the time that Sirius and James had arrived, he was on the last square of cheese and the little cubes were piled four inches high, and Remus was trying to figure out a way to add more cheese to the already precarious pyramid.

Sirius leaned against the counter, watching Remus. James stayed by the door, still not speaking. Remus marveled at Sirius for a moment. Sirius was so calm. He had arrived that afternoon, and told Remus in a very steady voice that if Remus wanted him to, Sirius would plant a pile of dungbombs in Remus' living room and force everyone to leave early. Remus was so grateful for Sirius in that moment, acting as though his mum's funeral was an especially boring class lecture. But even though there was a joke, Sirius was serious – oh Merlin, not that old pun again, and Remus had been grateful.

James had been the adult. He had shuffled everyone around, talking to people so that Remus didn't have to, saying all the right things. Remus knew that it was hard for a teenage boy to contemplate death. They all thought they were so invincible. Sirius regularly put himself in mortal danger just so he could feel the thrill. Now though, now it was _real_. It was much more than a concussion or a bruise or a broken bone. It was a dark, wooden coffin being lowered into a hole in the ground, and James seemed to have expanded by a foot in every direction. He was empowering, energy seeping from his core, and Remus desperately needed that energy, and James was happy to share.

Very carefully, he set the knife down. He had been touching everything with a sudden gentleness. He was afraid. He was afraid that if he held things normally they would break. He was afraid that his own strength had grown monumentally, or perhaps his strength had remained the same, and it was his control that was fluctuating. And he was afraid that if he broke something, he would break himself as well, and they wouldn't be able to pick up the billions of tiny pieces to put him back together.

"I am cutting up more cheese." He said. He waited patiently for Sirius to make a "cutting the cheese" joke, and felt the hole in his stomach grow larger when the other teen didn't. James didn't even smirk.

"Looks like there's enough." Sirius said, and he took the block of cheese off the cutting board, and wrapped it back up in the paper, and Remus suddenly stared at the tray. Now that he had nothing to do, his hands were laying limply at his sides. His suit jacket was too tight in the elbows, and his tie was choking him, and he had had to borrow a pair of his father's trousers because he hadn't worn this suit in almost three years. That was a long time for a boy in his teens.

James took the tray gently, and gave Sirius a look. _Keep an eye on him_, it seemed to say. "I'll go put this on the table."

Remus watched as James left the kitchen. Blindly, he wondered where Peter was. Lily too, right? Yes, most of the the sixth year Gryffindors had arrived. McGonagall had come, and Dumbledore, and he presumed that the students had gotten special permission to come. He didn't even know how they arrived. It was all a blur really.

Remus hadn't even moved from his spot when Sirius finally talked again. "Do you... do you want anything?"

Remus looked at Sirius and choked. "I want this to be over." He said weakly. "I want this to be done with, and I want my mum back, and I want my dad to stop looking at me, and I want a _nap_, and I want the earth to stop rotating for ten minutes."

Sirius let out a hollow laugh. "Well, I'm still working on that Time Stopping Charm."

A lump in Remus' throat was preventing his smile, but the corner of his mouth twitched, and he nodded. "Yes, well, meddling with time is always a no-no. Rifts in the time-space continuum and all that."

The other boy – though today Sirius Black looked more like a man than Remus had ever seen him – tilted his head to the side. "What?"

This time, the crooked smile was more genuine, and Remus shook his head. "Muggle books."

"Oh." Sirius looked awkward suddenly. "Books, right." Remus let out a noise without meaning to, like a sob. Sirius jumped to attention. "Could I have a glass of water?"

Remus looked up in surprise, and then managed a weak smile. Sirius was asking for something so that Remus wouldn't be left standing there without anything at all to do. He could have hugged him, but instead he turned around and reached up to the nearest cupboard, and blindly grabbed a glass. He put the glass under the tap and filled it half-way, and then turned to Sirius.

He must have gotten water on the side of the glass, because it slipped right out of his fingers and crashed to the ground. The sound was deafening. Remus stared down at it. There were little red flowers on the side of the glass. His mother had drank out of it at dinner. She got the flowers, his father got the little stalks of wheat, and Remus had the glass with the dinosaur. Even at sixteen she had given it to him every night, and he didn't ever say anything because he didn't care and it was a little thing that made her happy. And now... now her glass was shattered, and Remus felt the little pieces of himself starting to come apart.

A pair of hands grabbed him, and he looked up into the eyes of Sirius Black. They were blurry, and Remus didn't understand why until a track of water made its way down his cheek. He didn't know what to say, sixteen years of awkwardness rising to his throat while tears streamed down his face.

[][][][][][]

Sirius couldn't say why he did what he did in those next moments. One minute Remus was staring at a pile of broken glass on the floor, and the next Sirius had grabbed him with both hands. It was as though he were about to shake Remus very hard. If he shook him hard enough, Remus would transform back into the Prefect and make a comment about how if Sirius kept shaking him, surely Remus' brains would fall out. And then Sirius would laugh and make a comment about Remus' oozing brains, and then Remus would smile that crooked smile, and everything would be okay again.

There were tears in Remus' eyes. It was so unbelievably tragic. His mother was in the ground. In a coffin. Covered in dirt and waiting for maggots. Sirius was choking on the image. He had never even met Remus' mum. James had described her as a stern-looking woman who had the same expression on her face that Remus got whenever James and Sirius had done something dangerous. There were pictures of her in the house, he had noticed during the reception. A young woman who was grey beyond her years and had a haggard look about her. She had smiled in a few of the pictures, but in others she almost looked exasperated that she was being photographed. Whenever she was in a photo with Remus, there was a hint of something lingering in her eyes as she gazed at her son. Almost fear.

Sirius didn't know what to say. He had never had to comfort a friend before. Girls, once or twice. He remembered Demetra crying one day and he had wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she had cried into his jumper about her owl which had died or something along those lines. But Remus was a boy, nearly a man, and Sirius was stupid and helpless. Words didn't come to his lips. His fingers lost their grip on Remus' arms, and he watched Remus' crooked mouth as it trembled. Remus was trying so hard. It was almost as though he were actually afraid that Sirius would call him a nancy because he was crying over his mother's death.

"Sorry." Remus said weakly.

"Shut up." Sirius said, and he leaned forward.

Their lips met in a spark of contact. Remus' entire body went rigid as though Sirius' mouth had a Body-Bind curse on it. Sirius persisted. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know why he was doing it. This was five thousand different kinds of wrong, and yet for a moment it felt absolutely right. Sirius Black was not a man of words, he was a man of action. Sirius could manage a witty retort, an insult, a curse, a jinx, or a hex, but when it came to real words, real _talking_, he was dumb as a post. This though, this was something he knew. And as they continued to kiss, he realized slowly that it was something he had wanted long before he had seen Remus' tragic mouth.

There was a sound. Sirius jerked back. Remus looked rather like Prongs that one time that Sirius had shined a wandlight in his eyes. He stood, wide-eyed, still crying. James appeared in the doorway. As though James was a Cursebreaker the spell over the two of them was broken, and Remus ducked to the ground, balancing on the balls of his feet while he picked up the little pieces of glass.

"I heard something break." James said worriedly.

"Just a glass." Sirius said. He pulled out his wand. "Do you want me to-"

"No, put that away." Remus said, his words thick. "My mum's relatives, I told you. Just... just leave it... I'll fix it after everyone's gone." He picked up the little pieces of glass tenderly, ignoring when a few of the sharper pieces cut into his hands. He piled every last shard on the counter next to the sink, and turned to wash the blood off his hand in the stream from the faucet. He spent this time wiping his eyes on the too-short sleeve of his suit jacket.

James stood there, looking confused. He gave Sirius a questioning look, and his mate shook his head. It wasn't like he could just tell James what he had done. "All right. Moony, Lily was asking about you. She wanted to talk I think."

"Yes." Remus said, turning off the water and grabbing a paper towel, wrapping it around his hand as a temporary bandage. "I just... need to get some antiseptic for these cuts. I'll be right back down."

"I'll come with you." Sirius said, but it was more of a question than anything else.

Remus gazed at him. His expression was completely unreadable. Then he nodded. "All right. I might need help bandaging this up."

James watched them both leave. They walked through the living room. People were shuffling around, speaking quietly, and Remus skirted around everyone, head bowed, as though hoping he wouldn't be recognized. Every Muggle in the room seemed to look like him somehow. Sandy-brown hair, or soft shoulders, or lanky limbs that were both gangly and graceful at the same time. Sirius followed Remus up the stairs, and into a small bathroom. Remus tugged the mirror and it popped open, revealing a small cabinet filled with bottles of this and that. The bottles looked strange, not at all like potion bottles. Sirius had realized that Remus' mum was a Muggle, but hadn't realized the extent to which Remus lived like a Muggle while in his home.

"Moony, I-"

Remus pulled a small bottle from the cabinet and turned to look at him. "You didn't mean it." He said, as though that was what Sirius had been about to say. "It's all right. Emotions running high, things are a little crazy today... it's fine, Padfoot."

"No. It's not bloody _fine_." Sirius said in annoyance as Remus calmly began to apply the liquid within the bottle on the small bleeding cuts on his hand. "Because... because I _did_ mean it."

He didn't let Remus answer before he had cupped the shorter boy's cheek with one hand. They kissed again, this time less spontaneous, less erratic. Remus stiffened again, but less so, and Sirius saw his eyes close.

Finally, Remus kissed back. And then he shoved Sirius against the counter top. The dark-haired boy made a noise, but Remus was curling his fingers into Sirius' hair, his injured hand groping for purchase along Sirius' waist, and the dark-haired teen forgot what he was trying to say or do.

Sirius didn't know why this was so amazing. He didn't know why Remus was suddenly holding him so hard. Their lips pressed together, teeth scraping, tongues fighting, bumping chins and noses. It was awkward and rough and not at all normal, but neither of them was going to stop.

After a few seconds of mindless bliss Sirius realized why Remus was holding on so tightly. Remus had been holding things gently all day, as though he were afraid of breaking something. Well Sirius wasn't so breakable. Sirius Black was the dog who fought the wolf every month and laughed off bruises like they were nothing. Sirius Black was stone over steel, sinew stretched tight. Remus could hold onto him, and hold on he did, desperately hard. Sirius willed himself to be the rock that Remus needed. It felt a bit like fighting for a minute, combat with mouths and hands instead of words and fists. Sirius didn't even care, didn't even care that Remus bit just as often as he kissed, that his fingers scratched just as often as they stroked. Sirius' long hair became a handle, his blazer a ladder rung, preventing Remus from collapsing into the chasm of his grief.

[][][][][][]

This was absolutely mental. _He_ was absolutely mental. He was kissing Sirius bloody Black in the guest bathroom during his mother's bloody funeral reception. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Merlin." He said, only it didn't come out quite right because his mouth was still fused to Sirius' mouth. He gave a great shove, and Sirius stumbled backwards, and they finally broke apart. Remus turned facing the tub, and then turned around again, sitting on the toilet seat, burying his own hands in his hair. Because if he didn't occupy his hands somehow he was going to grab Sirius again.

"What?" Sirius asked, looking a mixture of hysterical and frantic and worried all at once. His lips were redder, slightly swollen already, and Remus made a noise.

"This is absolutely _mental_." He said, repeating what his own brain had told him not a full ten seconds ago.

"Sorry?" Sirius questioned breathlessly, taking a step towards Remus and then a step towards the door, like some kind of bizarre mating dance.

"What the hell are we doing?" Remus said helplessly.

"Well... unless I'm mistaken, we were having a bit of a snog in your bathroom." Sirius said, sounding extremely calm.

"That's not what I meant! Why the bloody hell did you kiss me?"

"You mean in the kitchen, or just now?"

"Whenever!"

"Well I... I dunno." Sirius said, with all the sincerity a teenager could muster with that phrase. Remus groaned and began to massage his temple. "Moony, don't-"

"Don't what? It's my mother's ruddy funeral, and we're fucking snogging, and you're ruddy Sirius Black and... what are we _doing_?"

"Well excuse me! A moment ago you practically threw me into the sink!"

"Shut up!" Remus said, feeling his throat bubbling up with delirium. "We can't... you can't... I... things like this... like that... you... _me_... I can't..." He didn't even know what to say, and Sirius' annoyance softened. "I'm hysterical! That's what this is. This is some kind of disturbing dream-state brought on by the trauma of losing my mother."

Sirius plucked the roll of bandages from the counter where Remus had set them, and walked over. Remus gazed up at him as the dark-haired boy took his hand, now pretty much finished bleeding, and started to wrap it up delicately. "You aren't hysterical. And while I am extraordinarily flattered you are thinking that you might be hallucinating about me, I'm pretty sure this is real."

Remus fell silent, gazing at the pair of rough hands that were tending to his. Sirius may have been aristocratically handsome, but his hands were rugged. Years of pranks, riding a broom, and – more recently – thundering through the Forbidden Forest once a month had given Sirius calloused fingers. There was a small scar near his knuckle from a splinter that Remus remembered pulling out for him, and a particular set of marks near the curve of his inner thumb that Remus knew were from Quidditch. Finally, one hand tilted Remus' chin up, and he looked into Sirius' face.

"I won't do it again if it bothers you." Sirius said. He was struggling to say all this, Remus knew. Sirius was not the kind who was able to speak about things like this without accompanying it with punching or "well, you know... you pansy". "But... it's something that I've been wanting to do before today... this isn't just cause your mum died and we're all emotional and shit."

It was the nicest thing Sirius had said all day. Remus was actually speechless. Not having the right thing to say often eluded him, but he never said nothing at all. Usually he just babbled until people told him to shut up. Now, however, he was silent, until finally the corner of his mouth quirked up in a sad smirk. Sirius smiled a bit.

"We should go." Eventually Remus spoke, and Sirius nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. Before they left the bathroom Remus glanced in the mirror and smoothed his hair down, and splashed a bit of water on his face, and he heard Sirius making noises as he fixed his hair and tried to make it look like nothing was wrong.

Everything was wrong, Remus thought to himself. And somehow among all the wrongness, at least one thing was right. If he had a choice, he would keep Sirius in that bathroom for the rest of the reception. Except he couldn't. So he rubbed his thumb over the bandages that Sirius had carefully wrapped around his hand, and he straightened his shoulders, and he forced himself into going downstairs, back among his family, back among the pain and the sadness and the guilt.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: super fast upload woooo. Why you ask? Is it perhaps because I've had the entire chapter planned out in my head since... oh I dunno... chapter 20? Noooo, that's not the reason... okay, yes it is. Anywho, here ya go. One super angsty chapter. I think I have never done a chapter that is more cliched and ridiculous in my entire life. However, I'm hoping you'll look past all that and still enjoy it. Our boys are finally together. x3

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh, LoverFaery: _You three are always there after a chapter. It makes me happy. (Not that everyone else doesn't make me happy, because they do, but... well you know what I mean...)_  
_


	32. Chapter 32: New Year, Same Old Shiznit

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Start of Term, 1977. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"So er... I know there isn't much space, but we've only got the one spare room. I've got some pillows and things." Remus walked over to the linen closet and started to drag out sheets. "You didn't really have to stay..."

"It's okay. Pads will stay in your room, and Wormy and I will be in the spare room. You won't even know we're here." James took a pillow from Remus and tossed it at Peter, who caught it, and then he took another for himself.

Remus smiled. "Well, I'm sure you'll want to spend the holiday with your family."

"Mum wants me home tomorrow." Peter said lightly, then he clapped a hand over his mouth. "Sorry, didn't mean to..."

"You can say the word 'mum' Wormtail. I'm not going to swoon like some lady at court." Remus said, handing out blankets. "It gets cold at night, so bundle up. We don't have fireplaces in the rooms, so you'll have to make do."

He smiled weakly. The house was old. There were drafts, and around this time of year they usually stayed up late, all sitting next to each other downstairs in the living room, because that was the warmest. When the nights got really cold in January or February, his mother used to lay out thin cotton mattresses and move away the furniture. They'd all sleep together downstairs. It was a warm little gathering, and they'd drink cocoa and joke about things and tell stories. It had been lovely.

His childhood had been poorer than most, but at least it had been calm, and at least there had been people in it. This house had been old almost since Remus was born, the roof was worn and during the really bad spring rains it would sometimes leak. The seals on the windows were cracked no matter how many times his father had gone through and fixed them magically. The chimney was never clean, they always had smoke in the house whenever a fire was running. But it was home. Despite everything else, it had been home.

"It'll be fine. Thanks Moony." James smirked and stepped into the tiny spare room. Remus' dad had managed to conjure up two more beds, and they crowded one into the guest room and one into Remus' room. Luckily his parents' – his father's anyway – was down the hall and no noises would be heard from the four boys.

After the reception, James had offered for the three of them to stay for a couple days after, so that Remus and his dad weren't completely alone for the entirety of the Christmas holiday. It wasn't much, but Remus was glad of it. His father was willing enough, especially because he had decided he was going back to the Ministry for the rest of the holiday, except for Christmas Day itself. Remus didn't blame his father for deciding to work the whole time instead of sticking around with his son who looked just like the wife and mother the Lupins had lost.

Sirius flopped into the spare bed, smirking. Remus set about getting ready for bed. He suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable changing around Sirius, so he did it quickly, tripping over his pajama pants and nearly falling over. Sirius merely snickered from his bed.

"What are you afraid of, Moony?"

"I'm not afraid of anything." Remus said softly, slumping into his bed.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes well, after the bathroom... and then the kitchen... and in the linen closet... yes, I'm feeling a bit better." Remus said, looking embarrassed. Sirius' lips parted in a grin, then he looked a bit more solemn.

"I'm sorry you know. 'Bout your mum."

Remus looked over at the window. It was snowing, and he pulled the curtain shut to try and keep the draft out, bathing the room in darkness. "She was... she was my mum, you know? There's not much to say about it."

"Tell me about her."

"Like what?"

"I dunno. Lily told me to say that to you. She said you'd find it helpful to talk about your feelings."

Remus gave Sirius a look. The dark-haired teen was smirking. Remus sighed. "Just cause I talk about _feelings_..."

"It makes you a great big poof."

"Says the one who shoved me into the vacuum in your enthusiasm."

"I didn't say _I _wasn't a poof. I just said you were more... poofy. Shoved you into the what?"

"Never mind."

"Are you going to talk about your mum? You don't have to."

"It's not like you are listening."

"No, no, I am, really." Sirius sat up slightly.  
"I'm not really sure what to say. She was... my mum. You know, comb your hair, brush your teeth, that sort of thing."

"She was a Muggle though."

"Yeah. She wasn't afraid of magic though. Well, not afraid of _most_ magic. She didn't mind Dad using it in the house, as long as it was on little things, like Reparo or something. She didn't ask a lot of questions though. She seemed to just let Dad do whatever he wanted. I mean, it's not like she was constantly bewildered. Even when I was really little and I accidentally melted all the glasses, she just waited until Dad got home and then she got a bit annoyed with him, telling him that he should have warned her that I would be showing signs of magic..." Remus chuckled, then faltered. "I... she was always annoyed. Always scolding... Not strict... but she would be disappointed in you, her eyes would just stare at you and you'd feel guilty. But she was happy sometimes. I mean, she wasn't always scolding and angry. She told stories. Really good ones. One time... she had this running story about this elephant... it was a work of fiction, but she really tried hard, really she did..." He trailed off, feeling rather worthless and stupid.

Sirius cocked his head to the side, and then jumped out of the bed, transforming as he went. Padfoot slunk across the dark floor and clambered up into Remus' bed.

"Oh come on, you're going to get hair in everything." Remus protested, but Padfoot was determined, and he nuzzled his way into the blankets. Remus shivered a bit, but the dog was warm, and he eased his way down with a sigh. Padfoot stretched out, and Remus looped an arm over him, and a cold wet nose pressed into the curve of his throat. Remus sighed, but chuckled shortly after, and he buried his face in the dog's shoulders, his nose just behind the two black, fuzzy ears.

Padfoot sighed, his nose snuffling a bit, and then he fell still, asleep. Remus spent a few minutes running his fingers against the thick, dark fur of his friend, and then he, too, fell asleep.

[][][][][][]

(Article in the Daily Prophet, January 11th, 1977, clipped and posted on the bulletin board in the Gryffindor common room by an anonymous student.)

**MCKINNON FAMILY DIES IN MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES**

_ Last year on December 30__th__, the McKinnon family was assaulted and murdered by a large group during a normal family dinner in their home. Details were held until now pending a full investigation of the circumstances. The entire family was together, including Marlene McKinnon, a new recruit of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and her younger brother, Michael McKinnon, formerly a sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. With their deaths, the name of the McKinnons – formerly a Pureblood family – have been wiped out. This is a great loss to the wizarding community, and we at the Prophet especially mourn the loss of our own deeply. The Minister himself has announced that every resource will be extended in order to find the culprits of this crime. Said Abraxas Malfoy, Head of the Improper Use of Magic Office where Marlene had just started work: "The Ministry is willing to go to any length to uncover the evildoers who would kill such a fine Wizarding family. Despite their political leanings, they were of pure blood and, not to mention, some of my closest friends. There are blights upon the wizarding world, and the Ministry moves to burn them out before they can destroy us all."_

[][][][][][]_  
_

"And you're sure there aren't any exploding toilets in here." Remus asked with concern.

"Positive. Now get in." Sirius pushed Remus into the stall and shut the door behind them. Remus took a moment to put down the toilet seat before he was pushed against the door.

"Mmph." Remus said quietly. He was trying to say something meaningful, but of course he forgot what he was going to say the moment that Sirius had his nose burrowed against his throat.

"Moony..." Sirius muttered.

"What..." Remus said, shivering a bit as Sirius sucked on the soft spot below his ear.

"Did you take notes in Charms?"

"What?" Remus asked, rather oblivious. Sirius was able to keep his mind functioning at full capacity when it came to moments like this, but Remus was utterly Stupefied by the logistics of their mouths and thinking about everything else at the same time.

"Charms. Did you get the notes all written down? Flitwick wants us to write an essay." Sirius slid his mouth further down Remus' throat, and the sandy-haired boy felt his knees wobble the slightest bit. Sirius chuckled, and Remus resisted the urge to kick him. The problem with kicking him – which Remus might have done a few months ago when hearing that derisive snort – was that then Sirius would stop kissing him.

"Yes of course I took notes in Charms. You weren't snogging me in Charms." Remus finally said, and Sirius stopped, looking at him. Remus' back was pressed against the bathroom stall door, and Sirius was facing him. One hand was on the side of Remus' head, and the other was twisting into Remus' robes.

"Good thing too." Sirius commented, before kissing Remus on the mouth.

Remus closed his eyes, and his hands, which had been resting on Sirius' waist, looped around his neck. Remus had kissed very few people in his life. His mother and father obviously. And then Gretchen that one summer after fourth year when they had all gone girl crazy. And then Lily of course, though they had never spoken of that after it happened. And Matilda Robinson had thanked him by kissing him after O.W.L.s for his tutoring. But that one had been more of a friendly kiss than anything else, so he wasn't sure that counted.

But Sirius was an entirely different kettle of fish. Or Grindylow as the wizarding expression went. Remus dug his fingers into Sirius' thick hair. It had become his favorite spot to grip while they kissed. Sirius made a noise, and it was Remus' turn to snort. Sirius didn't mind it either.

After a few minutes, they heard the door open, and they both froze, stopping everything to listen.

"Nicely done Mulciber. He won't be out of the hospital wing for a while." It was the whining voice of Severus Snape.

"Of course. It's only right to handle those Mudbloods with a firm hand. We don't want to end up like the McKinnons, do we? A Pureblood family wiped out because of their political leanings."

Both boys had stopped breathing. Sirius' hand curled into a fist. Remus grabbed his fingers to stop him from moving. There were very good reasons why they couldn't explode out of the stall they were hiding in. Sirius scowled at him, but relented, and Remus rested his head against the stall door, straining to hear. Sirius very slowly climbed up on the toilet seat so that no one would see two pairs of feet.

"Rumor has it that the Weasley's are next! Arthur has been moving up in the Ministry you know. And yet his views on Muggles... hmph!" There was a loud snort from the third voice. It was probably Avery, Remus guessed. After all, Snape had begun to hang around Avery and Mulciber ever since the beginning of fifth year.

Sirius had a dark look of anger in his eyes. Remus pressed a finger to his mouth, silently telling him to stay quiet. They couldn't be caught by those three.

"The Dark Lord will reveal his tasks in due time. It does us no good to dwell on rumors." Mulciber spoke loftily, as though he were reading from a script. Remus had his ear pressed desperately to the door.

"In the meantime, we will take care of as many Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers as we can while at school." Snape hissed with a certain sadistic glee.

"I personally think we need to handle that blood-traitor Sirius Black and his Muggle-loving friends."

"Lupin is a half-blood. His Muggle mother was 'handled' not to long ago."

Remus felt his will to remain still falter. Sirius made a barely audible growling noise. His wand was in his hand, Remus didn't know when he had pulled it out. Sirius looked at him pointedly. It was true, they could burst out of the stall and shoot some curses. But Mulciber and Avery and Severus would all know that the two of them had been hiding in the bathroom and they wouldn't know why.

The other two were laughing, and Remus suddenly realized his own wand was in his hand. He closed his eyes and tried to control his rising temper. Perhaps all the snogging with Sirius had damaged his own usual cool.

"Too bad you're a half-blood, Severus. With your knowledge of Potions and curses, you're going to quickly rise in the ranks. Perhaps the Dark Lord will someday grant you Pureblood status, if you follow him willingly enough."

Snape made a sarcastic noise. "It is my fondest wish."

The other two Slytherins didn't even seem to notice his tone. "Well, Lupin won't be so lucky."

In unison, the two Gryffindors burst from the stall. "_Ascendio_!"

Remus' word sent Avery flying. Sirius disarmed Mulciber before he could even properly point his wand.

"_Sectumsempra_!"

"Sirius no! _Protego_!" The flashes of red light bounced off the protecting shield. It vanished a moment later, and Remus flicked his wand angrily. "_Stupefy_!"

Snape was thrown backwards by the force of the spell, hitting a stall door and collapsing into a toilet. Seconds later – thanks to Sirius and James of course – the toilet sent up a sploosh of water and covered the greasy-haired boy. Mulciber was the only one left, and he glowered at Remus and Sirius furiously. Avery was finally getting back to his feet.

"You scum!" Sirius hissed. Mulciber laughed.

"You're on the wrong side of this fight, Black." Mulciber shot back. He looked slyly at Remus. "How's your mum, Lup-"

"_Reducto_!" Remus shouted before even Sirius could react.

Mulciber flew back with such force that he cracked all the tiles on the far wall of the bathroom. The other sixth year slid down the wall to the floor, his robes smoking slightly. Remus straightened up, breathing a bit hard.

"Let's go!" Sirius muttered.

Remus followed him out of the bathroom and into the empty hall. When they were there, Sirius looked at him worriedly. Remus shook his head. "I'm fine, Padfoot." He said, rubbing his arm with one hand. He felt sick to his very core, and he shook his head. So much for a snog before heading to lunch. They walked to the Great Hall, Sirius not speaking, and Remus not really knowing what to say even if they did start speaking.

[][][][][][]

"James, are you okay?" Lily sat down at the table in the common room, looking worried.

James felt rather oblivious for a moment, and then blinked. "Huh?"

"What is wrong with you?" Lily asked. "Ever since... ever since Christmas you've been acting almost mental."

"Sorry, sorry. I've just been... thinking about things. What do you want to do when you leave school?" He asked her suddenly.

"Er... well, ideally... I'd like to do something with Charm research. But that's not really the best paying sort of career. I was thinking with my Potions grades and with Charms I'd make a good Healer. Of course I'd love to work in the Ministry as well, maybe International Magical Cooperation or Accidents and Catastrophes. Ministry work is at the top of my list, actually I've made a full list of pros and cons of each position, plus I've written down the names of people that I know that work in each area I'm interested in so next year before I take N.E.W.T.s I can see which ones I really need to focus on..." She started digging around in her bag.

"Okay, okay." James smiled and watched her, tilting his head to the side. "How long have you been thinking about this stuff?"

"Well... since first year. I had a much longer list then, and Healer was at the top, but since last year and my O.W.L.s and what all my teachers were saying I moved up Ministry work. I like the idea of maybe going into Obliviating, or something like that. Why all these questions about careers? What were you thinking of doing?"

James flushed a bit. "Well... I'm not one hundred percent sure actually. I mean, I've been thinking about professional Quidditch since I could basically fly a toy broom..."

Lily made a noise, rolling her eyes. He blushed just slightly. "Boys."

"Well... I dunno. After third year I was thinking about Auror, or anything in Magical Law Enforcement might be awesome."

"What happened in third year?"

"Er... you remember, Mad-eye showed up to investigate that girl's death. I thought it might be pretty cool."

"Oh right..." Lily sighed sadly. "Didn't Michael's sister work in Magical Law Enforcement?"

"She was training in Improper Use of Magic." James said quietly. Both of them drifted into silence for a moment.

"So anyway, why are you doing all this thinking? It's not like you, or any other teenage boy, to be thinking about what you are going to do with your life."

James laughed. "I dunno really. Certain... events, they get you thinking about the future."

She looked thoughtful. "You mean Remus' mum."

"Yeah."

She touched his knee, and then seconds later seemed to think better of it and pulled back, rifling through her book bag to look occupied. "It's hard, thinking about stuff like that. I mean, we still have a whole 'nother year before we have to think about those things." She looked concerned, and then smiled. "Listen, I've been invited to a dinner party with Slughorn and a bunch of other students. Would you like to come with me? I mean, not like... it's not a date or anything, but I went to the last dinner party completely alone, and if I'm stuck in that room again without a friend to talk to I'm going to be driven up the wall. And it is a nice distraction."

James looked at her and grinned. "Sounds ruddy boring."

"Yes, well... Slughorn is insistent. Not to mention... well having his recommendation to his friends in the Ministry will really help me in a year."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, all right, I'll go to this boring dinner party of yours. But in exchange, you have to promise that the next time you try and take points from Gryffindor you'll remember this."

She raised an eyebrow. "I make no promises. However, I will be wearing a new dress."

James rested his chin on his hand, elbow on the table, gazing at Lily and smiling wryly. "Well, that's an entirely different matter. Next time you should lead with that before using the words 'dinner party'."

She patted his head and stood up from the table. "You really should quit while you're ahead, Potter. Wear something nice, no uniform. And comb your hair."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Yay. Not much more has to happen in sixth year really. I hope you guys aren't expecting a Remus/Sirius lovefest for the entire rest of the story. Even if one of my main intentions was to get them together, this is a story about the Marauders. Anyway, I do hope you enjoy, and keep reading!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_freakyprincess-87, Lonewolfe001, pshhh yeahh, Tragedy Catalyst, Dandy Dandelion, LoverFaery, Black Veil, PharaohDeli, NonrealityRocks: _oh my gosh, there are SO MANY OF YOU. xD I'm going to keep trying to list you all, but don't be surprised if I end up forgetting some (completely unintentional). You reviewers are really the best!_  
_


	33. Chapter 33: Mutual Snoggitude

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: February/March, 1977. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Gah, Moony, you have to help me." James bemoaned from the bathroom. Remus stood in the doorway. "Isn't there anymore Sleekeasy's?"

"You've used up an entire jar, your head looks like a shiny helmet."

James stared at himself in the mirror. "Oh bollocks. You're right."

"Didn't she specifically say this was _not_ a date?" Remus commented, entering the room. He pulled out his wand, holding it over James' head. "_Aguamenti_." A jet of water came out of his wand, and swirled around James' head. James spluttered as some hit him in the face, and Remus apologized and went to work controlling the water. "_Scourgify_." He added after a moment, and the bubbles appeared to help wash away the hair potion that James had desperately applied to make his hair stay down.

Sirius appeared a few moments later. "Becoming stylist for Gryffindor Tower?"

"Indeed. You're next, Padfoot. You need a haircut." Remus said flatly. "_Ventus_." A gust of wind came from the end of his wand, and he directed it at James' damp hair. When the gust died away, Remus tapped James on the head. "_Tergeo_." The remaining water droplets were drawn into his wand. Sirius laughed. When Remus pulled his wand away, James' hair was back to normal. For James anyway. "Would you just leave it as is? I tried to dry it flat for you. Just leave it alone."

James rubbed his palm flat over the top of his head, forcing his perpetually messy hair to flatten. Moments later, the back of it had popped back up. He sighed in exasperation. "Fine." He said angrily. "Fine, fine... FINE. Ugh, I don't know why I'm doing this anyway."

"Lily and her new dress." Remus reminded him. Peter appeared in the doorway, holding two ties.

"James, I got the blue one and the black one but I wasn't sure which one you wanted, I don't know which one..." He said helplessly. Remus snatched the blue one.

"He's wearing _black_ dress robes, Wormtail. A black tie is overkill."

James starting laughing hysterically, leaning against the sink. Remus flushed darkly, shoving the tie at James. "Sorry... sorry Moony, you're just... such a _girl_. It's hilarious."

"Yes well someone has to be here to dress you three or else you'd be absolutely hopeless!" Remus proclaimed in annoyance. James waved a hand.

"Trust me, I appreciate it."

Sirius waggled his eyebrows and mouthed, _not as much as I do_. Remus' nostrils flared in irritation and he mouthed right back, _shut up_!

James left the bathroom, adjusting the tie. "I'm leaving now for this stupid thing. Lily should be waiting outside the portrait hole."

Remus, Sirius, and Peter watched him go. "Hey Wormy, go spy on him." Sirius ordered after a moment. Peter obediently left, and Sirius walked up, leaning on the sink next to Remus. "Hey, Moonpie."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, what?"

Sirius smirked coyly. "We're _alone_ you know." He took a step forward. Remus rolled his eyes and took a step back.

"I've got an essay for Care of Magical Creatures due, not to mention studying for Potions. I don't know why Slughorn insisted I continue on in that class, I'm absolutely hopeless." Remus said calmly.

"Well... let's do some 'Charm' practice." Sirius said pointedly, leaning forward.

Remus sighed. "I _can't_. No time for snogging while homework is to be done. _You_ should be doing Transfiguration."

"It's done." Sirius said, but Remus knew he was lying.

"Mhm... why don't you share?" Remus rested one finger on the top button of Sirius' shirt.

"Well... I..."

"If I had the Transfiguration homework..." Remus toyed with the button, "I could finish all my work a lot faster..." Sirius gazed into his eyes. It was Remus' turn to be coy. "And then we could spend the evening together while James and Lily are off pretending they don't want to canoodle." He twisted his finger and the button popped open, revealing a sliver of Sirius' chest.

"Uh... huh..." Sirius said slowly, looking torn between his desire to kiss _now_, or the possibility of uninterrupted kissing later.

[][][][][][]

"Mr. James Potter! Why haven't you come to any of my parties before? I'm sure I've invited you."

"Er, well I'm not one hundred percent sure, Professor. You see, I am quite devoted to my studies." James said, gripping his goblet of pumpkin juice and laughing weakly. Next to him, he heard Lily stifling a giggle.

They were on dessert, _finally_, and James pushed his spoon against the bits of chocolate syrup sitting in the bottom of the bowl.

"Miss Evans, have you sent the letter to my compatriot in the Obliviator office?"

"Oh yes, she was more than happy to tell me all about her position in the Ministry and what I needed to study in order to become an Obliviator. I really appreciate your recommendation, Professor." Lily said excitedly.

"I do wish that you'd do something with Potions, my dear. You have such a way with them."

"Oh, I'm not as wonderful as all that." Lily tittered nervously, blushing.

James gave her a look and leaned over while Slughorn started talking to a fifth year halfway down the table. "Oh my dear, you simply mustn't be so modest." He said, in a picture-perfect imitation of the Potions teacher.

She glared at him, and kicked him underneath the table. But then she giggled, shaking her head. She looked wonderful. Her dark red hair was pinned up in curls, earrings dangled near her pale throat. Her fabled dress was a light blue that really brought out her eyes, and the low neckline didn't hurt either. She looked elegant and beautiful, and James was incredibly jealous of Slughorn – the ol' weirdo – who got to see Lily all dressed up like this for his stupid dinner parties.

James smoothed the back of his hair down lightly, feeling it already popping up again. She smiled at him. "You needn't be so self-conscious, James. You look fine. I'm afraid your hair will never be normal."

They both gave a short, awkward laugh. "Well, I did try enough Sleekeasy to kill a Diricawl."

Lily smiled. James had a feeling he was winning her over. If only. He leaned over, his hand inching towards hers on the table. She turned pink, and moved it into her lap, blinking and looking up as Slughorn asked her a question. He sighed and settled back in his chair, staring at the melted bit of ice cream at the bottom of his bowl.

[][][][][][]

"Padfoot..." Remus attempted, his fingers touching the side of Sirius' face. They were sprawled out in Remus' bed.

"Hmm?" Sirius said, he rolled over on his back. "Scratch my back, please?"

"Do you want me to apply that salve stuff?"

"No, just scratch it." Sirius said, his voice muffled in the pillows. Remus slid his hand underneath Sirius' shirt to the long, flat planes of Sirius' back, and dug in his nails lightly. Sirius made a ridiculous noise of approval, and Remus flushed.

"Padfoot." He repeated.

"What." Sirius said lightly, sighing. "To the left a bit, oh yeah..."

"What exactly... are we doing?" Remus asked.

"What? We're laying about in your bed and you're scratching my back."

"Stop taking me literally, you know what I'm talking about."

"Higher, no, higher than that. Mm... no Moony, I have no idea what you are talking about."

Remus stopped scratching, heaving an exasperated sigh. "_Padfoot_."

"What? What, don't stop," Sirius grabbed Remus' hand and tugged it back over. "Oh, don't get all wobbly like that. What do you want me to say?"

"Would you stop? This is serious."

"No, I'm Sirius."

Remus glared, but reluctantly began scratching Sirius' back again. "This whole thing... us... what we've been doing, not to mention hiding from Prongs and Wormtail and everyone."

Now Sirius was the one looking exasperated as he turned his head to face Remus. "It's not like we're strictly _hiding_ hiding. I mean, no more than I hid my activities with Elise, you aren't exactly supposed to snog in front of the common room. I mean... Merlin's beard, Moony, why do you have to be like this?"

Remus crossed his arms over his chest, sitting up and frowning. "Don't you accuse me of being... 'like this' or whatever you are trying to say. I think we should talk about this."

Sirius exhaled and rolled back over, sitting up on one elbow and staring at Remus. "This. This is what it is. There isn't anything to talk about. Unless you don't want to anymore, and if you don't I'll understand I suppose, we're still best mates either way..." He looked annoyed at having to do all this emotional nonsense.

"You're insufferable!" Remus said irritably, but he couldn't really be angry. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't expect you to gain any emotional maturity. I would have hoped it could be transferred through saliva or something."

"You don't need to say it like it's a bad thing. You like me how I am." Sirius said, prodding Remus in the ribs. Remus hid his smirk by looking away. "Oh come on Moony, don't look over there. I'm right here."

Sirius had his most charmingly handsome expression on his face, and he fluttered his eyelashes. Remus rolled over on him, laying on his stomach. Maybe Sirius was right. What this was... well there was no way to describe it properly. Just better to let it happen. He pressed his lips to Sirius', and then pulled back. "You need to shave. You're prickly."

Sirius frowned. "I'm trying to grow a goatee."

"No you're not. Go shave." Remus said.

The dark-haired boy made an upset noise, and then rolled out of the bed, parting the curtains and heading for the bathroom. Remus poked his head out. "I'll make it worth your while!" He called. Sirius sped up towards the bathroom.

"Make what worth his while?" Peter said, appearing at the dormitory door. Remus flushed.

"Transfiguration help."

"Oh, are you guys doing the teapot into armadillo thing? I really could use some pointers on that."

"Er... I don't think so, Pete." Remus said delicately. "We're doing... something else."

"Oh... you don't think I could sit in? Just... for tips?"

Remus grimaced, without actually letting Peter see his face. "Er... I mean... I don't think so."

Peter looked crestfallen, and he slowly nodded. "Yeah okay. I'll go wait for James in the common room, maybe join Flannery in Exploding Snap."

"You do that." Remus said, yanking the curtain shut. He heard Peter trudging back down the stairs. In a moment, the curtain parted and Sirius clambered within. "Shaven?"

"Clean as a new Knut." Sirius whispered, rubbing his smooth cheek against Remus' face almost like a cat.

Remus smirked, digging his hand into Sirius' hair and dragging him forward for another kiss.

[][][][][][]

Remus was a hard nut to crack. Sirius had thought that now that they had known each other for so many years that he'd be able to figure out Remus. But Remus was rather like an onion. He had many layers. Sirius actually preferred to think of Remus as cake. Also layered, yet far tastier. Chocolate probably, with some chocolate frosting.

_Remus_. Right, thinking about Remus. Oh lord, when _wasn't_ he thinking about Remus nowadays? Remus' crooked mouth. The things he wanted to do to that crooked mouth. The other day he watched Remus eat a banana at breakfast with an ENTIRELY different connotation than it had ever had before. He noticed that now Remus was no longer even eating phallic-shaped food without chopping it up into bits first. That was a disturbing thought.

BACK TO REMUS. And his mouth. And other bits. No, mustn't think about the bits. Manly bits. Merlin, he hated being a teenager sometimes. Hormones. Did Remus even have hormones? Well, judging by the way he had acted the other day in the bathroom – shit, did he have to think about snogging and shagging all the bloody time? Heh, hormones. How did you make a hormone? Refuse to pay her. Ah, jokes, good times. Remus would think that was a terrible joke. James would have thought it was hysterical.

At least Remus was good at acting as though nothing had changed. Of course Remus himself had changed, everyone had noticed. Ever since Christmas, Remus was different. It was a bad different in some ways. Sometimes – even when they were kissing – there was a distance in Remus' eyes. He seemed to have withdrawn a bit. He no longer yelled at people about Prefect-y things anymore. Frankly, he seemed to have given up entirely on the responsibility and authority of being a Prefect. Lily had become even more strict and irritable as if she was trying to be two Prefects.

Not that Sirius minded Remus no longer being den mother. Well, that was untrue. Remus wasn't den mother in the sense that he was no longer strict, he didn't get annoyed with them as often. He seemed to have become gentler though, not just to Sirius, but to James and Lily and everyone else in Gryffindor Tower. When people came to him for homework help he would do it, and he was more patient than ever with Peter, which was a shocker.

Sirius sometimes missed the little vein in Remus' temple that used to throb whenever Sirius did something silly or ridiculous. Now Remus would just smile a sad little smile and look a bit disappointed in him, and he ended up feeling rather like he had peed on the carpet.

The biggest change seemed to have been in the wolf itself, once Sirius and Remus had become... well, whatever they were. Instead of their play fight at the beginning of the night, the wolf would tackle Padfoot to the ground, and bite down on one ear, almost as though he were claiming Padfoot somehow. Then he would nip at Padfoot's heels playfully as they ran through the forest, relaxed and at ease, not even seeming to notice the pain of the transformation. Remus always woke up with bruises, and his hands cut up from running, but even he seemed to be in an even better mood than ever before, even after they'd started the Animagi thing.

What _were_ they? For that matter, what did Remus think they were? After all, Sirius liked the snogging. And Merlin knew he had been imagining the shagging pretty much since the beginning of January. Hey, they were both of age – well Remus nearly so, but he had been "of age" since he was nine if they were going by emotionally and mentally. Sirius was not even of age when it came to things like that. After all, he couldn't even figure out what to call this mutual snoggitude. Snogifying? It was certainly snogorrific.

He had been quite a ladies' man in the past few years. Ever since Genevieve... Guinivere, Ginevra? Jennifer. Back that one summer. That seemed like ages ago. It was a strange concept, looking back on girls. But there had been a few. Jennifer, then Elise, and Matilda, and Yolande, and then over Christmas there was James' cousin on his father's side, what was her name? Anyway, there were a lot. Fifth, sixth, seventh years. Sirius hadn't really been picky.

He wasn't sure if he had even liked any of them. It was more he was going out with them because he could. Because it was some unspoken rule of Men that he had to date as much as possible. He was a Man, and that meant that he had to date, and snog, and what have you. Also they weren't supposed to kiss their mates. Though he was pretty sure that one time with the Irish whiskey he and James had... oh never mind that.

Remus really was difficult. Once upon a time when Sirius had been young and cocky – not that he wasn't young and cocky now... just less so? – he had assumed that he had understood Remus Lupin. Of course then Remus Lupin had spoiled those thoughts by first turning out to be a werewolf, then nearly getting sent to Azkaban, then punching Sirius quite hard in the face, and then throwing Sirius into a bathroom sink while kissing him desperately.

Remus Lupin was like winter snow. Sirius wanted to play in it, but after a while it made him numb. Or perhaps that was why he wanted to play in the first place. To become numb. Otherwise he was forced to think thoughts like this one that was getting him nowhere. No, much better to just kiss and let worries slide away, at least until that crooked mouth began asking him questions like "What is this? What are we doing?" and wondering if this "meant" anything.

Did it mean anything? Was it just an experiment? Was it just a snog? Was Remus merely a stepping stone on the way to far more pooftier heights? Too many thoughts, too many emotions. He didn't want to think about emotions. It felt good. It was enjoyable. Remus was good at kissing – despite his obvious lack of experience. When it ended, it ended, and Sirius didn't want to think any farther ahead than that. Because thinking about it ending, thinking about not kissing Remus Lupin, well that was an unacceptable conclusion.

"Mr. Black."

He jerked upright, and his parchment stuck to the side of his head and came up with it. He opened his eyes to see Professor Flitwick gazing at him in irritation.

"I am aware that you don't want to pay attention in my class, but at the very least would you leave when the bell rings?"

He looked around. The classroom was empty. All three of his "so-called" best mates had left him sleeping in Charms. He apologized and got up, running out the door. Remus was waiting there, a wry smile on his face. Sirius felt something stir in his stomach. Yes. Thinking about Remus only lead him to one final thought. That kissing him was far better than thinking about kissing him.

[][][][][][]

"Presents." James said assuredly. Peter and Sirius frowned darkly and stared at the cake in the middle of the Shack. Remus shot them a warning look and pulled out three boxes to hand over to James.

He no longer had any qualms about the Shrieking Shack. Once they had cleaned it out it had almost become a sort of clubhouse. They hung out in here so regularly that Remus now had more memories of goofing off in the newly-cleaned and sanded down room than he did of waking up in terror the morning after a full moon. He also had some very pleasant memories of sneaking out here with Sirius when James was at another Slughorn dinner party with Lily and curling up on the blankets together under the guise of "going exploring" in the Forbidden Forest without Peter.

James tore into the biggest gift first of course. A book from Sirius, but not just any plain old book. _Magical Beauty_. On the outside it looked like a fairly ordinary book, perhaps about beauty care products throughout the wizarding world. However, on the inside it was picture after picture – like some strange Playboy – of witches blowing kisses and winking at the reader while wearing so few items of clothing that Remus was quite disturbed. Of course James thought it was brilliant.

Peter had gotten him candy – which seemed to be the only thing that Peter could think of to get anyone – and some new broom polishing supplies – which was Remus' idea for him to begin with. James was pleased enough with these, and liked the picture that Remus gave him in an ornate frame. It was James and Sirius after winning the Quidditch Cup at the end of last year, sweaty and laughing and hanging onto each other and the Cup, with Peter jumping up and down in the background with a Gryffindor banner that was much too large for him to hold by himself.

Finally, James made a dive for the cake. Remus clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "You haven't seen the final present, Prongs." He said lightly.

Sirius and Peter perked up significantly as Remus pulled a bit of spare parchment from his robes. James looked at it without understanding for minute, taking it as it was handed to him. Remus was fighting a smirk, watching James unfold it and look at it in confusion. Then, like dawn breaking over the horizon, comprehension grew on James' face. "Is this...?"

"Only one way to find out, isn't there?" Sirius said excitedly, prodding James in the ribs.

James pulled out his wand from his inner sleeve and tapped the paper. They had agreed on the password ages ago during one brainstorming session in the Shrieking Shack. "I do solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

The paper made a great raspberry noise, and James raised an eyebrow. There were still a few kinks to work out, this was the first official test of the "final product" so to speak. However, after a few seconds of patience the map suddenly furled outward from the corner of the page. Remus watched with all the pride of a father watching his son getting married as the artwork that he had slaved over night after night while they made the map blossomed before them. Clean lines and swirling motions filled the empty layers of parchment until the entirety of Hogwarts lay in James' lap.

James stared at it with wide-eyes. He searched over it, mumbling to himself. Suddenly all four of them held their breath as they watched Professor Dumbledore pacing back and forth within his study. Remus wondered if he ever slept. Professor McGonagall was walking down the third floor corridor. Tiny pairs of feet moved, and the small banner unfurled with each of their names. There were flaws, certainly. Remus was memorizing each mistake as they watched them happen, like the strange noises that it made, and it didn't seem able to properly label locations, and how the movements were not fluid enough. He could edit them.

"Happy 17th, Prongs." Remus eventually said. "Close it up now, I just wanted to show you, it's nearly finished. Once I get all the little kinks worked out."

"Looks perfect to me." Sirius said lightly.

"It's not. I've got things to fix." Remus took the map back, and tapped it with his own wand. "Mischief managed."

The map made another weird sound, and the ink seemed to be sucked back into the parchment, and it became blank once more. Remus grinned. "I want it to be perfect."

James and Sirius rolled their eyes, but didn't argue. "All right, time for cake!" James said happily, snatching the knife up from where it had been laying on the plate. Remus rolled his eyes, and tenderly slid the parchment into his robes.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I think I'm going to summer vacation now. Not entirely sure, there might be one more chapter from 6th year, but really everything that I wanted to happen happened. That third section there is a stream of consciousness piece of writing from Sirius' point of view. It is supposed to be full of run-on sentences and grammatically incorrect bits. I've been wanting to do something like that for a while. I thought it was highly amusing, and I hope you did too. I hope you are all looking forward to the next chapter!~

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My little sister: _For laughing so hard that she fell off of my futon, and squealing in all the right parts.

_pshhh yeahh: _my lone reviewer last chapter. xD (just kidding. I'm sure you all have like... lives and stuff... and don't spend twenty hours on your computer each day)

_and all my future reviewers as well._


	34. Chapter 34: Lists and Losers

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: End of Term, 1977. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Now tell Dumbledore what you told me, Mr. Lupin."

Remus squirmed in his chair. He should have brought this to McGonagall's attention sooner. He knew that he had been lax in his usual duties as Prefect. But it hadn't occurred to him to even take this seriously.

"Snape, Mulciber, and Avery were all in the bathroom before lunch. They were talking about things... things I'm not one hundred percent sure about." Remus said hesitantly. "They mentioned a Dark Lord, and the McKinnons... and... my mum..."

McGonagall looked pityingly at him. Dumbledore frowned just slightly and looked thoughtful. "I am sorry to have to make you remember, but it is of the utmost importance that you repeat to me as many details as possible with the greatest accuracy."

Remus nodded. "They were talking about this Dark Lord. They said that the Dark Lord had ordered the McKinnons' deaths. They also said something about wiping out Muggles and Muggle-borns... they mentioned my mother being killed by Death Eaters. They talked as though they were Death Eaters themselves! They talked about Sirius being a blood-traitor, and about me being a half-blood. They also mentioned another wizarding family, said that they might go the way of the McKinnons if they weren't careful."

"What family?"

"The Weasleys."

Dumbledore and McGonagall looked at each other. The younger professor moved away from the desk and left. Remus turned his head.

"Professor... can you please tell me more about the Death Eaters?"

Dumbledore stared him down. Remus tilted his shoulders back, trying to make himself seem bigger than he was. "I suppose you are nearly of age. You do have one more year in this school however, Mr. Lupin. I would ask that you keep yourself and your friends from allowing extra activities to overshadow your future endeavors."

Remus wasn't sure if that meant that Dumbledore was giving them permission to take care of the Slytherins or whether he was warning them against getting in trouble. He nodded however, thinking that it was better to just agree than to try and ask for an explanation.

"Many years ago there was a young man who was a student at Hogwarts not unlike you, or James, or anyone else. He was a Slytherin, incredibly intelligent, in fact he learned things about this castle that even I never knew. He was clever, and charming, even a Prefect." Dumbledore said calmly. "But this young man, he lusted for power. When he graduated he spent years figuring out how to amass more and more power. He called himself Lord Voldemort, throwing off all ties to humanity he had left. He gathered a circle of like-minded people around himself. Make no mistake however, what the 'Dark Lord' wants is ultimate control and power over Britain and probably the entire human world, wizarding and Muggle alike. He has told his followers none of this. He instead claims to have the best interests of the wizarding world in mind. To cleanse it of the Muggle-borns and Muggles who have married into the families. Your mother was unfortunately one of these. He also views certain families as blood-traitors, for their political views, for their knowledge. Anyone sympathetic to Muggles or against his views will also be removed from his master plan."

Remus knew he was listening with a wide-eyed expression, his fists curled tightly into his robes. Dumbledore stopped speaking for a moment, and Remus watched him silently, waiting to hear more. As if on cue, the headmaster continued to speak after a pause. "His followers are mostly people who are easily swayed by his views because they have held them themselves. There are some who are in it only for the thrill of being able to hurt and ravage and cause pain. He also gathers dark creatures or beings who have been spurned by the Ministry, promising them power and status like that which they have never known. He has an army now, and he is not afraid to kill, and kill again. He has no affection for human life in the slightest. If he ends up ruling over an empty and barren land he will do so, if only so he can crown himself supreme.

"Do not look so frightened, Mr. Lupin. There are quite a few people who do not want to allow this to happen. We too have an army, an army called the Order of the Phoenix, and we are going to fight Voldemort to the last man or woman standing."

Remus exhaled slowly. He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath. He opened his mouth, but Dumbledore held up a hand to stop him. "Before you say anything, the Order will not accept any members who are either underage or still in school. This is not a club or a Quidditch team. We are talking about war here, people are dying every day, entire families are being wiped out."

"And how long until the rest of my family goes?" Remus said darkly. "How long until my father is killed? How long until Lily is hurt or worse? They think of Sirius as a blood-traitor. My friends are prime targets for these Death Eaters, and this Voldemort person doesn't seem to have the same qualms about recruiting students that you do!"

"And that is exactly why we must keep it a rule. _Remus_. We must keep ourselves at a distance from him. I know when you hear me speak you are picturing all the people you love that Voldemort might want to cause harm to. You must understand that the Death Eaters don't think that way. Voldemort doesn't know friendship, or love. He doesn't have any emotions, except perhaps anger."

"Can't you do something? Can't you remove Snape and Mulciber and Avery and everyone else like them from school?"

"Hogwarts is a safe place." Dumbledore said, his blue eyes glittering. "No student will be turned away while I am headmaster. Political views are left at the door, Mr. Lupin. This castle is a place of learning."

"Learning to kill." Remus said under his breath. Dumbledore looked at him, and Remus knew that he had heard what he said.

"When you are finished with school here, Remus, come see me again. The Order needs people like you. Strong hearts and strong minds. But you _must_ finish school, and you must be ready for what the Order might ask you to do."

Now Dumbledore was being more cryptic than ever. Remus sighed quietly. "I understand, Professor."

"And now you want to know what you should do in the meantime?"

He blinked, and nodded.

"Make friends, find someone special, read books, do your homework, and continue to perform admirably, Mr. Lupin. For that is the one thing we have that they don't. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir." Remus stood.

"Very well. Go back to class, Mr. Lupin."

[][][][][][]

"_Charm development and research is one of the quintessential areas of study. It is the oldest study of magic the world over, and, along with Transfiguration and Potions, one of the most necessary for wizarding existence. The study of Charms and the creation of new Charms is absolutely essential to every part of wizarding life. From cleaning and cooking around the house to preventing the discovery of our very society by Muggles, Charms impacts every corner of our daily lives._"

Lily sighed softly and turned the page on Spellbound: A Contemporary Charms Magazine. She had borrowed the latest issue from Flitwick.

"_Most modern witches and wizards do not view the study of Charms to be particularly difficult, nor terribly interesting. In truth it is the core of wandwork the world over. The Ministry hires professional Charms researchers yearly from Hogwarts, and from around the globe. Within the private sector Charms work is also highly sought after. Companies like Zonko's Joke Shop, Heezlebub Products, LLC, and Cleansweep Broom Company – to name a few – are always looking for new and inventive Charms researchers to improve their products. A background in Potions is also highly sought after for these positions. Outstanding Charms N.E.W.T.s are of course required, as well as a solid E in most everything else, in order to be considered for these sorts of positions._"

She stopped reading; the words seemed dull and boring. She had a good eye for Charms. Flitwick had been cooing about her wand since first year. Perfect for Charms work. It sounded like an easy enough job. Then again, with the more articles she read about it the more it sounded like a job for nerds. She could just imagine what James would say. "_Research and Development? Should I get you a scrunchy and a pocket protector?_"

Why was she thinking about James anyway? She sighed and pulled a small roll of parchment from her bookbag. At the top of the page was written "James Potter". In order to get herself organized, she had decided a while back to make a list. Well, two lists. They were separated by a perfectly straight line down the middle of the paper.

"_Why I __shouldn't__ date James Potter:_

_1. He's a bit of a stalker. (Madam Puddifoot's)_

_2. His hair is ridiculous. (future children with that hair? unfortunate)_

_3. He is immature. (bodily functions)_

_4. He's a lecher. (Slughorn's party, he stared at my chest for an hour)_

_5. Would I just be a notch on his bedpost? (Matilda Robinson)_

_6. He plays Quidditch. (worrying about injuries all the time is unhealthy)_

_7. He can't even properly tie a tie._

_8. He's a great friend. (dating might ruin that)_

_9. Sirius Black._

_10. He would never let me live it down._

_11. He's still an arrogant toe-rag. (that stupid cocky smile of his)_

_12. My dignity would suffer._

_13. What would my friends think?_"

And then below that, a much shorter list, one that Lily hadn't even wanted to write, but felt she had to.

"_Why I __should__ date James Potter:_

_1. He's cute and charming._

_2. He makes me laugh._

_3. He worries about me._

_4. He plays Quidditch. (It is both dangerous, yet manly)_

_5. He does try to comb his hair when I ask._

_6. He thinks I'm the most amazing thing he's ever seen._

_7. That fluttery feeling I get when he smiles at me or looks desperate or says my name._

_8. He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world._"

She stared at both of the lists. So long as the second list was shorter than the first list, she wouldn't be dating James anytime soon. Very carefully, she pulled out a pen and wrote a small number nine on the second list.

"_9. His hands are warm._"

Still plenty of room between the two lists. So long as Lily kept her cool, she didn't have to add anymore to them.

"Lily?"

She shoved the lists down deeply into her bookbag as James approached her in the common room. "Hello James."

He sat down next to her on the couch. "What are you reading?"

"Oh, just something about Charms Research and Development." She said, rolling up the magazine to put it away.

"Ha. Would you like a pocket protector to go along with that?"

She shook her head. "You're hopeless James. Charms, Transfiguration, and Potions are the three most essential studies for the wizarding world."

"Yes, yes. I've heard the speeches." James said. "You're good at Potions too. It would make you a great Healer you know. You don't need some nerdy Ministry gig. Working in the basement on Charms development. The world has enough Charms. It needs people to fix the people that work in Charms R&D."

Lily giggled. "Oh, James."

"I'm serious. You're going to lose a nose or something."

She blinked. "Would you still want to be my friend after I lost a nose in a tragic R&D accident?"

"Does a bowtruckle eat lice?" James said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

"Hmm. Being a Healer _does_ have more perks. And a better environment. Of course I'm also considering Obliviator. I don't really know what I want to do right now I suppose." She laid back in the cushions, relaxing.

"Hey, you'll be brill at anything you want to do." James said assuredly. He got up a moment later as Sirius came stumbling in the portrait hole, and gave her a wave before he headed up the dormitory stairs.

She watched him go, and then sighed delicately. "Number Ten." She mumbled. _Knows just how to cheer me up._ This whole situation was really coming to a head.

[][][][][][]

"_Piertotum Locomotor_!"

"This is much easier than trying to convince the damn armor that it should obey us." Sirius commented as James whirled his wand over the suit of armor in the hallway.

Remus rolled his eyes. "It was still a trick and a half to discover a spell that would enable the armor to perform a task with any sentience."

"Yes well, that's what we have _you_ for." Sirius said. "This is going to be a brilliant prank. I wish we had thought of this a month ago for April Fool's."

"I'm glad we didn't. Since we're about to go home for holiday they might not expel us." Remus said, glancing down the hallway. Peter was hiding halfway underneath the Invisibility Cloak. There was no way in hell that the four of them could fit under it anymore. James and Sirius could barely fit under it together when they squeezed in uncomfortably, and no one could fit with Peter. By now however, with their knowledge of the habits of the professors, Filch, and the other students – not to mention a nearly perfect Marauder's Map – they were more than capable of sneaking around the castle without being caught. The Cloak was only for extreme emergencies. Remus or Peter would take the Cloak back to Gryffindor Tower and then appear before McGonagall or Filch and give a perfectly legitimate excuse and alibi as to why James and Sirius were out after hours. It had worked the one time they had used it, but that was against Flitwick, who was notorious for being laid back about such things anyway.

"All right, that's twelve down. Only what... nine more to go?"

"Three in the Charms corridor. Two near Transfiguration, one more down here in the dungeons..." Remus ticked them off on his fingers. Sirius glanced at his watch. "Two near Ravenclaw Tower and one last one across from Dumbledore's office."

Sirius unfurled the map and peered down at it. "Dumbledore's gone, looks like a clear path to the next one down here."

"All right, let's finish this up." James said happily. "_Accio_ Pies."

It took a moment; Sirius studying the map, Remus gazing at the slowly shifting piece of armor, and Peter shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet. Then down the hall came a "whoosh" noise, and a large stack of cream pies appeared. Sirius had somehow managed to charm the house elves into making them an enormous amount of pies, on the pretense that it was for a surprise party in Gryffindor house. At each armor that they had charmed they left a stack of five pies. The armor was under special orders to throw the pies whenever they saw the emerald and silver robes of a Slytherin student. It had taken Remus ages to work out a proper charm to do so, using Transfiguration and a similar method to what they had used to make the armor move several years ago.

James arranged the pies around the bottom of the plinth and Remus tapped each of them with his wand. "_Prestigium_." He said calmly, watching as the pies shimmered for a moment. Then they disappeared. Well, not exactly. If Remus looked at just the right angle he could still see the shadow. Rather, they had taken on the same color and texture as the plinth. Remus had been practicing a good Disillusionment Charm since the beginning of the year, and he was quite proud to see that it had worked pretty good.

"All right, we're moving on." James said excitedly. As a unit the four boys looked around suspiciously, and then crept down the hallway, pressed against the walls.

Remus wasn't sure why they were still bothering to do tricks. Everything seemed to be falling apart, and here they were, four teenage boys – all of age – throwing pies at people who were trying to take over the world. It was like some bad comedy. Snape and Mulciber and Avery were members of the group that was responsible for killing his mother and he was charming suits of armor into throwing pies like he was a twelve year old boy. It felt stupid and foolish. But at least it was _something_. More than just watching Snape walk around day after day, smug in the knowledge that what he was doing was for some "great power". Remus felt sick to his stomach as he watched James spell the next suit of armor. Sirius shot him a look, and he smiled weakly.

"Brilliant plan." Remus said. He had yet to tell his friends about the Death Eaters, or Voldemort, or anything that Dumbledore had talked to him about. He hadn't even told them how his mother died. When they had gotten back from holiday, along with the article about the McKinnons there was one about his mother, but it had no details. Everyone had avoided talking to him for a few days, but then everyone seemed to forget. The articles had been covered up by posters and other important things covering the Gryffindor bulletin board. Even Remus himself forgot sometimes.

Every so often when he started writing a letter home he would find himself writing the letter as though his mother was going to read it. Once he had even began a letter with "Dear Mum and Dad" only to tear up the parchment into little tiny bits.

"Moony does not look like he is enjoying himself." Peter said as they clambered up to Ravenclaw Tower. Remus gave him a look. "Want a Chocolate Frog?"

Remus rolled his eyes and accepted the frog, chomping down on the head before it could wriggle. "Thanks I suppose. But I am enjoying myself. 'Marauder's ride' and all that."

Sirius laughed. "We appreciate you making an effort, but we all know you're hopeless... Filch coming this way, cast the charm."

Remus tapped the pies and repeated the Disillusionment Charm. Sirius lead the way down a hallway in the opposite direction as Filch, and they headed down towards Transfiguration. Remus chewed on his Chocolate Frog, and glanced at his card. Godric Gryffindor.

He no longer felt like much of a Gryffindor. He no longer felt like a Hogwarts student at all. He would have liked very much to just quit school and go be a Muggle. He still had another year before he had to be an adult in Muggle Britain. He could join a Muggle public school and forget about magic or Voldemort or Death Eaters. Then again, Dumbledore said himself it wouldn't be long before Voldemort set his sights on the Muggle world. Nothing and nowhere was safe. Whatever happened to being children? The world was a small place back then, throwing pies was a gesture of mockery and amusement, not a political statement.

[][][][][][]

Everyone was gone. Peter had woken up that morning for breakfast and everyone was gone. He had gotten dressed fast and hadn't even brushed his teeth, running down the stairs. In the common room he found James, rifling through a stack of books.

"Prongs!"

"Hi Wormtail." James said, glancing over at the books.

"Where is everyone?"

"We went to eat. Sorry, we thought we'd let you sleep in today. We're all just studying and stuff. After that detention last night." James chuckled and seemed to finally see what he wanted. "Aha!"

"Oh, you've already eaten." Peter said, tugging on the collar of his shirt.

"Sure, breakfast ended... twenty minutes ago."

"What! Oh no, my watch is slow." Peter said, looking at his watch. "It was my dad's you know, my mum gave it to me for my 17th but I really wanted a new one..."

"Yes yes, your mother sent you a Howler, we all remember." James started to leave. Peter followed. James turned at the portrait hole and blinked. "Er, Wormy... you should just stay here... I'm working in the library with Lily, if I turn up with this book she's looking for she'll think I'm amazing, and I don't really want you to throw off my groove."

"Oh." Peter said stupidly. He tried to think of a clever comeback. But he didn't, and James grinned and vanished out the door. The blond turned around, trying to think of what he could do instead.

Where were Remus and Sirius? They seemed to vanish all the time. He frowned and looked around the common room. He saw Flannery setting up a chess board.

"Hey, can I play?"

Flannery looked at him blankly. "Oh, hey Pete. Actually, I'm playing with Hattie, she's well,_ you know_. She likes to beat me."

"Oh, sure." Peter said lightly. He did know. At one point he had a girlfriend. And the "_you know_"s that went along with having a girlfriend. Of course then she had decided that he was not as charming and handsome as his friends, and she hadn't broken up with him so much as started hanging out with her friends more and more and studying more often for O.W.L.s until he had stopped asking her if she wanted to go places with him.

Strangely enough, his friends were doing the exact same thing. James was hanging out with Lily more often than ever, and Sirius and Remus just... disappeared. He trudged back up to the dormitory and flopped onto the bed. In the bed next to him he heard a noise. He sat up, and looked over. The bed next to his was Remus' bed, all the way at the end of the dorm near the bathroom. "Remus?"

Remus poked his head out of the curtain, blinking. His hair was dreadfully mussed and the collar of his shirt was wide open. "Yes?"

"Oh. I didn't know you were in here. What are you doing?"

"Just reading." His voice was unusually high pitched. There was a noise and the curtain shifted, and Remus smiled nervously.

"Reading what?"

"Just something boring. Don't worry about it. Aren't you going to go hang out with James?"

"He's studying with Lily. Told me not to bother him. Do you want to play chess or Exploding Snap?"

"No, not really. I'd like to finish my book. Maybe you could go play chess with Flannery."

"He's playing with Hattie."

"Oh." Remus looked confused. Then he glanced to the side awkwardly. "Well I'm sure you'll find something to do."

With that, the curtain closed, and Peter stared at it. He heard Remus mutter something from behind the curtain and the area around the bed went quiet. Peter watched it for a moment as though he expected Remus to pop out again. However, nothing happened.

Very quietly, Peter climbed off his bed and headed downstairs. "I guess I'll find someone..."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Apparently some people misconstrued my statement last chapter about summer vacation to mean that I was on vacation. I unfortunately, am not. I was indeed referring to the Marauder's summer holiday. That should be the next chapter, I'm all done with sixth year for the time being.

I dislike writing Peter. I have a really hard time writing characters that I cannot relate with in the slightest. I see a little bit of myself in all the characters. Remus and his logic and love of books, Sirius' random and joking ways, and James with his witty charms and general awkwardness around the person he likes. In Peter I see no qualities that I can understand (and even if I did see qualities I understand like fear, I do not want to connect myself with these negative qualities. xD). In any case, for those of you wanting to see more peter (if there were any) there you have it.

Also, one last note. I may or may not have some NSFW scenes coming up. I have decided that I really want to write out romance, HOWEVER I am not willing to post it in this teen rated story. Instead, I think I might be creating a series of Remus and Sirius smut that will be rated MA and posted on my profile. In this story, it will "cut off" at an appropriate point, then pick up after. The oneshots will pick up where the story leaves off, and end just before the story begins. **Please let me know your opinions on this**, if anyone will be reading or if you guys think it's too much. Thanks!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Tragedy Catalyst, freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh, LoverFaery, Lonewolfe001, PharaohDeli, snake and crane, MissHollyBlack: _Every time you review, an angel gets its wings! No, just kidding, but a writer does get motivated!


	35. Chapter 35: Lola

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Summer Holiday, 1977. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"You'll be much cooler after this." Remus said, the scissors snipping delicately. "And do stop moving. I'll cut off your ear if you don't stop twitching."

Sirius grumbled. "I _liked_ my hair long."

"It's still going to be pretty long, so just calm down. I'm not just chopping away." Remus blew on the back of Sirius' neck, watching the black wisps fly into a summer breeze. He turned his head up into the sun, and sighed, and ran a small comb upwards through Sirius' hair to get all the small pieces out that had already been trimmed. "Almost finished." He said cheerily.

They were sitting on Remus' back porch. The July sun beat down on them, and Remus was soaking it in. He would be turning freckled soon enough, but he didn't care. After seeing Sirius having to bother with a rubber band for the last few days, Remus had finally sat him down with his mother's sewing scissors and demanded he get a trim.

Sirius sighed. "Done yet?"

"No, not yet. Bend your head down a bit more." Remus cut the little wisps at the very back of Sirius' neck. He leaned down and blew again, and then he set down the scissors and the comb. He then dug his fingers into Sirius' hair and gave it a great ruffle, sending little raven-black strands into the yard. Sirius followed that by shaking his head hard, and Remus combed the front of it neatly into place. "All done."

"Brilliant." Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, grinning. It still fell to the bottom of his neck in the back, but it curled up just at the ends and the bangs swept across his face and looked quite nice. "You're pretty good at that."

"Thanks." Remus said, flushing slightly and standing up. His white shorts were covered in black hair, admittedly not the best color combination when it came to cutting someone's hair, and he took a moment to brush it all off and beat his thighs roughly. "I trimmed my dad's hair a while back before the funeral. He always used to have Mum do it. She'd cut it twice a year. In the winter she'd do it in the bathroom and it was the only time she let him use magic to clean it." He gazed out at the backyard, standing on the unsteady last step into the grass. There were clothes hanging off the line. Remus had washed them. Of course he had done so with magic, but he had thought that drying them in the sun would make them smell good.

"We should go for a walk." Sirius said excitedly.

Remus laughed. "We just went for a walk this morning."

"I love walks." Sirius was grinning happily.

After a moment Remus nodded. "Would you like me to make us some sandwiches?"

Sirius nodded. "You know me, walking and food go hand in hand."

Remus nodded, and hopped up the steps to the house, entering the kitchen. His father was gone almost every day, so Sirius had come to visit a few times with and without James. Now that the four of them were of age and could Apparate where and when they pleased, Sirius showed up about once every other day. James showed up often enough, but there were a few occasions when James was too lazy or writing letters to Lily or something along those lines, that Sirius came alone. On those days they spent the hours wandering around the woods surrounding Remus' village, and ate sandwiches, and of course lay in the warm grass and snogged for ages.

Sirius followed him in, and peered over his shoulder as Remus pulled out sliced deli meats and cheese and slathered mayonnaise and mustard on pieces of bread. He piled them high, and then flicked his wand over in the direction of the cupboard. Two pieces of foil flew through the air to the counter, and he folded them around the sandwiches.

"I don't understand why you don't do more with magic, Moony." Sirius said, looping his arm around Remus' shoulders as the sandy-haired teen shoved both sandwiches into a paper bag.

"It feels unnatural to do so. I'm not like James. He Apparates down the bloody stairs for crying out loud." Remus rolled up the top of the bag and gripped it. "We can't stay out too long. I've got to fold the clothing up and get dinner started."

"You're such a wife."

Remus smiled weakly. "My father needs the help. He's working himself to death. I'm all he's got and I'm only here for two months."

"Is that why you won't come flat searching with me?"

"I don't see why you want me to come."

Sirius made a face as they left out the front door, Remus carrying the bag. "I tried to tell you. I want you to come because... well because I hope you'll be spending a lot of time there."

Remus felt himself go pink but he resisted. "It isn't that big a deal, it's not like I'm going to... _live_ there..."

Sirius looked up into the sky, as though he were very interested in the wisp of white cloud going overhead. After a moment he shook his head. "Hopeless." He muttered, before he turned into Padfoot.

Remus looked at him in confusion, before concluding that Sirius would be very unlikely to explain further what he was talking about. He patted the black dog's head before they headed down the road.

The Lupin house was situated quite far from the city center. It was at the end of the very last road in town, leading out into the farmland and countryside. John Lupin had chosen it because it was within the limits of a Muggle town, but far enough up the road that they didn't get many visitors. Remus was still able to play with the children, and his mother had been able to socialize, but the strange things about their house were never as noticeable. The occasional magic that occurred from their home had no influence on the family's reputation. They had a big garden and that helped in that they didn't have to buy fresh fruit and vegetables which were such a strain on the budget, and they had kept chickens up until Margaret had died and his father was no longer able to care for them.

It was a twenty minute walk until they could no longer see the house anymore, as it was obscured by the woods behind them. This was a tame forest though, nothing like their romps at Hogwarts. There was a dirt and sometimes gravel path lit by a parting in the crowns of the trees. Padfoot ran back and forth, disappearing into the brush for a little while and then reappearing covered in old leaves and burs. His tongue lolled out of his mouth comically, and he would occasionally push on Remus with his head, sticking his cold nose in Remus' palm to encourage the teen to scratch behind his ears.

Eventually they found the small game trail that cut off from the main path, and Remus walked down it. He spent a few minutes slapping at mosquitoes and balking at the spider's webs that stuck out of the branches and tried to grab at him. Padfoot trotted ahead, and then disappeared with a bark as Remus saw a squirrel run over the pathway. Remus kept walking, until the shaggy dog burst from the thicker forest again, panting and looking disappointed.

After fifteen more minutes the trees thinned out. It wasn't a clearing, but the sunlight streamed more brightly between the leaves and there was a pleasant little blanket of moss underneath an oak. Padfoot was sniffing around in the corners, and after a moment returned to Sirius. Remus chuckled. His black hair was sticking out in every direction and had a large leaf sticking out of the back. He slumped to the ground with a sigh and shook his head, scratching the back of his neck.

"Fucking fleas." He grumbled, but perked up as Remus unrolled the top of the paper bag. Sirius took the offered sandwich and peeled off the foil. Remus stretched out a hand, and took the foil from him, folding it up carefully and tucking it back into the paper bag. No need to waste the foil, and Remus didn't want it to end up on the forest floor.

"I thought you were going to have squirrels for lunch." Remus said, biting into his ham and cheese.

Sirius gave him a look. "I hate squirrels. So... runny jumpy. It's like they want you chase them. And then they run too fast. Stupid things."

Remus smirked. Sirius always sounded ridiculous just after turning back to human form. He was still flipping back and forth between his mind and the dog mind. "Do you think it's safe to become an Animagus so often?"

Sirius shrugged between mouthfuls of pastrami and swiss. "If I had it my way I'd be a dog far more often. If it weren't for the bloody fleas."

"I've got a new bottle of Heezlebub's latest insect killer. It says right on the bottle that it's safe for use on pets." Remus said lightly, eating out the inside of his sandwich, and then eating the crust last.

Sirius finished his sandwich first, and he lay back against the tree, stretching out. He idly scratched a flea bite on his calf, sniffing. He watched Remus finish, and then he sat up, scooting over so they were sitting closer. Remus smirked.

A few seconds later they were kissing. Sirius had a hand on Remus' hip, and Remus dug his fingers into Sirius' shorter hair. It was still the perfect handle. A few seconds later, Sirius looped one long leg over Remus' waist and before Remus could even react his back was being pushed against the rough bark of the tree while Sirius straddled his lap.

"Padfoot!" He said, when they paused for breath.

"What?" Sirius blinked, acting as though this was no different from a snog in the bathroom after class, or snuggling on his bed while James was wooing Lily. Remus however, felt entirely different. Their bodies were touching in places that Remus avoided touching except when he had to wash them, and it was a bit awkward, yet warm and inviting all at once.

"You're rather... you're on top of me."

Sirius smirked. "You're awkward!"

"I am not! I mean... well yes, yes I am. We've never..."

"Haven't you thought about... taking it farther?"

Remus blushed red as a tomato. "Well... of course I've _thought_ about it. I mean... I have hormones just like any other teenager, and I've... I've thought about it. About the other stuff. About..."

"Shagging."

"Merlin, Sirius, do you have to..."

"It's tits all over again with you. I swear if you were anymore awkward your face would become that shade of crimson permanently."

"Stop it." Remus grumbled. Sirius placed two fingers under his chin, and tilted his face up so that he was looking into the slate grey eyes of the boy above him.

"It's not a big deal. I mean... we do what you are comfortable with." Sirius kissed Remus gently.

After the kiss sank in Remus decided to just go with the flow. Even when Sirius' hands drifted lower than they ever had. He stopped them again. "Er..."

"Honestly Moony. What."

"Well I mean... how do we... I mean..."

Sirius seemed dumbstruck by that statement. He sat up a bit, moving an inch or two down Remus' thighs. "I haven't really... I mean I just figured..."

"Well yeah but..."

"Right... I see what you mean. Er... well I suppose we could... you know... with your... and mine too... I mean... that works either way..."

Remus' ears were burning. He cleared his throat. "Cross that bridge when we come to it?"

Sirius chuckled and the awkward cloud over them broke apart. "Yes, suppose we will."

And then they were kissing again and Remus decided to keep his thoughts to himself.

[][][][][][]

Several hours later Remus lay alone in his bed, a warm glow on his face. Despite the fact that neither of them really knew what they were doing, they had managed quite well. It had only been hands and kissing, but Remus felt as though they had overcome some barrier that had been between them only a few hours ago. So that's what... _that_ felt like. That freeing, explosive feeling, the tightness in his chest that eased with each breath. Sirius' calloused hands had been shockingly gentle, and though for a moment there Remus had to fight down the urge to laugh at the quirk of Sirius' eyebrow, it had passed and it had been... better than wonderful.

He sat up, looking out the window. The moon was waxing, he watched it with apprehension, but after their moment in the woods Remus didn't even feel afraid. "I am such a woman." He mumbled to himself, gazing at the dark woods where – at the age of 17 no less – he'd lost a touch of his innocence. Frankly, he'd given it away freely. They were both consenting adults after all.

He rested his chin on his arms, his forehead resting against a cool windowpane. The only problem with their first "experiment" going so well was that it did put quite a bit of pressure on them when they went even further. Remus chewed on his lower lip. He was sure they would figure it out. And it wasn't like if the sex sucked Sirius would leave.

Right? Remus furrowed his brow and looked up. He could see the Big Dipper from where he was, the tail of Ursa Major. His eyes trailed over the sky, picking out the stars and planets he could recognize from six years of Astronomy. Finally, he found Orion, and below him, Canis Major. One of the dogs supposedly following after the Hunter. There, like a spotlight, one of the brightest stars in the summer sky; Sirius, the dog star. Remus stared at it, feeling torn.

Was it just about snogging and shagging? If Remus refused to do those things anymore – or if he was bad at them – would Sirius stop? Surely there was more to it than that. Though really, they didn't act any differently than normal when they weren't kissing. It wasn't like they lay about in the grass and talked about how much they loved each other and called each other ridiculous nicknames. Well, Sirius had gotten into a habit of calling Remus "Moonpie" until Remus had punched him.

But when it came down to it, they weren't anything more than friends with benefits. They didn't go on dates – which Remus was grateful for because he would have been terribly awkward – and they didn't sit around talking about their relationship. If they stopped snogging or whatever else what would happen? Would they just go back to friends? Or was it too late?

Remus didn't like thinking about things like this. Especially on the heels of the first sexual experience he'd ever had with another person. He'd stopped bringing up this subject in front of Sirius. He only got grumpy and accused Remus of thinking again, and then both of them would either get annoyed or make up with more make outs.

[][][][][][]

"You will never get me on that thing."

"Moonpie..."

"No. I will never in my entire life ever, EVER ride on that machine of doom."

"It's not a machine of doom! Her name is Lola, and she is a creature of perfection."

"You named it."

"It seemed tradition."

"You _named_ that monstrosity."

"Moony! You'll hurt her feelings."

"It is a motorbike! It does not have feelings!"

"She's not just any motorbike. I told you."

"That is even more reason for me NEVER to get on it."

"Mooooony."

Remus stared at Sirius flatly, his arms crossed over his chest. "You don't... you don't even have a helmet!"

"I've put a Slowing Charm on the bike so if the bike or one of us falls – which we won't – it won't be crashing into the ground, _plus_ a Cushioning Charm, not to mention a Shield Charm so that nothing can hit us like birds or anything, and wait until you see what I did to the speed on this baby." He patted the leather seat gently and looked expectantly at Remus.

"You can't make me." Remus said, not comforted in the slightest.

"Oh come on, Moony." James poked his head up from where he had been looking at the back tire. Remus glared at him.

"How are three people supposed to fit on it anyway?"

"I've got my broom." James explained, holding up the latest model of Cleansweep. "Sirius wanted you to try out the bike."

"No _thank_ you." Remus said.

"You are so boring." Sirius mumbled, running his hand over the leather seat.

Remus faltered, looking torn between a biting comment and apologizing for being boring. He never would have hesitated with a scathing remark if it had been a few months ago. But now that he and Sirius were... whatever, he felt guilty making Sirius upset.

"You promise I won't fall off?" Remus said hesitantly.

Sirius perked up, obviously fighting back a smirk. "Of course not. You won't fall off."

"I... I guess I'll do it then..." Remus finally mumbled.

Sirius laughed excitedly. "I knew you would cave in eventually. You always do." He accompanied the words with a wink that James couldn't see, and Remus turned a dark red.

"Well, Sirius Black, don't get too full of yourself." Remus said, as he jumped on behind Sirius and inhaled nervously.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Summer Holiday, wooo. There is quite a bit of R/S in this chapter, more than I would have liked, but I guess it balances out since we didn't see them at all last chapter. In any case... MOTORBIKE WOOOO. xD I hope you enjoy. Seventh year begins next chapter.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_JeagerJaques615, pshhh yeahh, LoverFaery, Lonewolfe001, PharaohDeli: _You guys are smut-hounds. xD But I love ya. All of ya. Even you. And you, and especially you.


	36. Chapter 36: Can't Fight the Feeling

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Start of Term, 1977. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

James sat in the oval office of Albus Dumbledore. It wasn't really that rare for James to be in this office alone. Nor was it all that rare for James to be in this office on the very first day of school. After all, in both second and fourth year he and Sirius had planned something more than a little epic for the start of term feast.

However, it was rare for James to be in the headmaster's office for a positive reason. A reason like the badge that was currently sitting on his chest. It felt heavy and strange. A few minutes later, a figure appeared to his left and took the seat there in front of Dumbledore's desk. He glanced over at Lily, his mouth suddenly feeling like sandpaper. She had been almost furious on the train when they had been talking to the fifth year Prefects about what it took to be a Prefect. James had been mostly mute with a few attempts at placation, since he knew nothing about being a Prefect except what Remus had done over the last two years. And frankly, Remus wasn't the best Prefect there was – the Marauders were to blame for this of course.

Despite the fact that Remus had been a bit lax in his duties as Prefect, James felt completely unworthy of this title. First of all, he was the biggest troublemaker in the school. Second of all, there were loads more people qualified for the position. And thirdly, placing James in a nearly infinite position of power over younger students was just a bad idea all around. Just _bad_.

Dumbledore finally stepped in from the outer room where he had been fussing around with tea, and sat down at the desk. "Now, I have brought you both in here today to assure that you will be able to work together. Head Boy and Girl have many responsibilities, and I need to assure that you will be able to carry those duties out."

James had to suppress a snicker at the word "duty". That was precisely why he was unfit for this position. "Sir." He began hesitantly, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "I really don't understand _why_ I've been given this position. I was never a Prefect." He said it as though Dumbledore was going senile, and had somehow forgotten who had been made Prefects of Gryffindor.

"I am aware of that fact, Mr. Potter. Mr. Lupin was a prime candidate for the position of Head Boy at first. However, I felt that the added stress of such a position might be too much for him to handle in light of the events of last year. You, Mr. Potter, are more than capable of handling this task."

"Begging your pardon, Professor." Lily cut in. "James and I get along just fine now, but I don't think there's any way that he can be Head Boy. He's the most irresponsible, immature, childish..." She flushed darkly. "He'd spend more time taking points from students just because he didn't like their face than he would taking the job _seriously_!"

"Lighten up." James attempted, but she glared.

Dumbledore seemed bemused. "Get along just fine?"

Lily immediately became far more prim, folding her hands in her lap and looking embarrassed. James fought down his smirk. "Professor... I don't mean... I just don't understand why Remus didn't get the position."

"Mr. Lupin was an obvious candidate, but he was not whom I chose. Would you rather I'd have chosen Mr. Black, Miss Evans?" Dumbledore said, a small smile on his face. James bit down on his tongue.

"No! I mean... no. I'm sorry Professor, I just... it was unexpected." Lily said hastily, trying to backtrack.

"Indeed. Now, as the two of you are 'friends' as you say, I'm sure that you will be able to perform the necessary tasks of your positions. I do hope, Mr. Potter, that you won't be too busy with being Quidditch Captain and top of your class to work your hardest."

Lily seemed to blush at both of these statements, as though reminded that James was already quite responsible, not to mention brilliant. He chewed on his tongue a bit more to keep himself from saying something snide, until he noticed Dumbledore looking at him expectantly.

"Oh, no sir."

"Miss Evans, if you would leave the two of us alone, you are free to go."

He watched her leave, feeling that flutter in the back of his throat. Dumbledore set his teacup on the end of the table and folded his hands.

"James, I have a few things to tell you, things that may not be so easy to hear. As Head Boy, one of your responsibilities is for the safety of our school and our students. It is in fact one of your greatest responsibilities. Rules are put in place to keep children _safe_." He said the last sentence pointedly. James had heard that sentence time and time again, though it had never seemed to sink in. "Authority is not for abuse. You are closest to the students, James. This year you will see many things that you might not understand, including a great amount of loss."

"Sir... if I may... does this have anything to do with the McKinnons and such?"

"Indeed." Dumbledore looked as though he were about to say something else.

James looked bothered a moment and then sighed. "Sir, Remus told us over the summer. About his mum. And the Death Eaters, and this Voldemort fellow. He called it a war."

The blue eyes flashed for a moment and then darkened slightly as Dumbledore bent his head down in a nod. "It is a war, James. A war that we are fighting with everything we have."

[][][][][][]

Two boys collapsed onto the uncomfortable mattress in the Shrieking Shack. Sirius rolled over on his back, his chest rising and falling. Remus also rolled over, so that both of them were staring at the ceiling of the Shack, breathing hard, and trying to collect their thoughts. Sirius didn't think he would be able to move for quite a while after that. That.

"That..." Remus said out loud.

Sirius attempted to agree with the one word statement, but could only manage a grunt. Remus didn't seem to mind. Slowly Sirius rolled onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow. Remus was still pink, one hand slowly pushing sweaty strands of hair from his eyes.

"It was a bit..." Remus tried again, still not able to finish any sentences. "At first I thought... and then you did the... and... well... _that_..."

Sirius smirked, and grabbed Remus' hip, dragging him closer. Remus flushed darkly, but after a few minutes his awkwardness subsided and he settled down. They were laying together, twisted, their legs, hips, shoulders, everything was touching, like they were trying to merge into one person. They had put a few blankets down on the lumpy and abused bed in the corner of the room, and there was a single pillow, and Sirius tucked it under both of their heads. It made their foreheads touch, but Sirius didn't mind. Remus' eyes were dazed a bit, and Sirius felt a frown tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Knut for your thoughts." He murmured, his finger touched the soft hairs on Remus' stomach. Remus was less hairy than Sirius had thought he was, and yet more hairy at the same time. Remus made a noise.

"That tickles." Remus muttered, and he nuzzled his nose into the curve of Sirius' collarbone. Sirius felt the hot breath against his skin and something very pleasant tickled down his spine. "I'm not thinking about anything."

"You're thinking about _everything_."

"No... not everything."

"You're such a woman."

Remus looked at him with raised eyebrows. "That's not what you said ten minutes ago."

"Well pardon me. I didn't know you'd become a beast in the bedroom too."

Remus turned red, then cleared his throat. "Well. _You_ didn't seem to mind."

"Oh trust me, I'm not minding. You can do 'that' any time you want." Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Quite brilliant in fact. That bit with the... you know..."

The other boy looked away, but Sirius cupped his cheek, and he was forced to gaze at him. After a minute of silence Remus chuckled, and buried his face in Sirius' shoulder. Sirius toyed with the small hairs on the back of his neck, his other hand drawing spirals on the small of Remus' back. It was still warm with left over summer in the Shack, and the heat of Remus' body was warming him further, but he had no desire to leave the confines of the space.

If Sirius wasn't such a "manly man", he might have said something. If he weren't so emotionally bereft, he might have whispered something into Remus' ears. He might have said something important, meaningful, full of feeling. As it was, he was none of those things, and he simply let them lay together for a little bit longer before Remus stirred.

"We have to get back. James will notice we've gone." Remus mumbled, reaching for his trousers and pulling out his watch. "It's nearly midnight."

"We gave them an excuse."

"There are only so many hours you can spend double-checking the Map before they start to wonder if we've been eaten by that one tunnel."

"Hardy har har." Sirius leaned over and bit down gently on Remus' earlobe. Remus shivered, and Sirius suppressed a laugh.

"All right, all right." Remus sat up, pushing off of Sirius and reaching for the rest of his clothing.

Sirius slowly pulled himself to his feet. His legs felt rather like jelly, but it was an utterly pleasant feeling. He shuffled around the Shrieking Shack reluctantly, until Remus gave him a pointed look that clearly said, _let's go already_.

Finally Remus jumped down into the tunnel. Sirius followed. Just as Remus started to walk, Sirius grabbed him around the waist and shoved him against the soft dark wall. Remus made a noise, but Sirius' mouth was over his before more than a single syllable got out. Sirius kissed him for a moment. It was almost an apology of sorts, for not being able to really provide Remus with something more real. All those emotions that Sirius couldn't portray he tried to portray in that kiss. He didn't know if Remus understood. The tunnel was dark, only lit by the single beam of moonlight that came through the crack in the boarded up windows and down the open trap door.

He didn't see Remus' face when they broke apart finally. Remus reached up to grab the door, and yanked it down in silence. Sirius pulled out his wand and lit it, and he caught a gentle smile on Remus' face before he turned up the passage and ducked down to head back to school. Sirius smirked to himself as he lead the way.

[][][][][][]

"N.E.W.T.s!" Lily made a weak whimpering noise and rested her forehead on the stack of books in front of her.

Remus patted her shoulder awkwardly. "I know exactly how you feel."

"I'm going to fail everything, and then I'm never going to get that job, and I'm going to end up in some sideways basement room in the Ministry filling out papers in triplicate until the day I die."

"You'll get health benefits at least."

"Oh Merlin's pants, Remus, you are not helping."

"You could always marry rich."

Lily looked up at him, staring blankly. Remus smiled sheepishly. "My dignity would never survive. Besides, who would you presume I marry?" Remus remained silent for a moment, then shrugged helplessly. She glared. "You had someone in mind, didn't you?"

Remus slowly grinned. "Me? No."

"Who is it."

"No one. No one in this school is even close to being worthy of your affections."

"You're thinking of James aren't you."

"... no."

"You are!"

"Well! I don't even... I mean you... I don't understand why you won't even date him."

"I went on one date with him."

"And?"

"And... what."

"And was there a spark?"

She turned red. "I... I don't know. I wasn't really... it was kind of awkward and I was still angry about Severus and... well I went into the whole thing determined not to enjoy myself and so I didn't."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "So you really haven't even given him a real chance. Lily, he's been your friend for a full year now. I know for a fact that he's been a _perfect_ gentleman."

She grumbled. "I know, that's the whole problem. He has been a perfect gentleman."

"...what?"

"He's been so nice! He is always asking me how I've been, he doesn't make those jokes anymore. I mean... he's hardly even a teenage boy! He's like a grown up!"

"I'm confused. Are you saying that you _want_ James to act like an immature teenage boy?"

"I... I don't really know." She said, bewildered. "He's just... he's trying so hard it's ridiculous honestly."

"Yes, but... what about him being Head Boy now?" Remus questioned lightly. "Surely that means that Dumbledore thinks he's mature and grown up and all."

Lily pressed her lips together. "I'm not sure what Dumbledore was thinking at all. So far all he's done is take points from Slytherin house at every opportunity." There was a hint of a smile on her face as though she was pleased by this statement, but then she shook her head. "He's impossible!"

"You make no sense." Remus said, almost angrily.

"What, Remus?"

"Well James has been completely and utterly bonkers over you since first year almost, he's always just been too stupid and hopeless to be able to do it properly, and then finally when he's acting like a proper adult you now think he's trying too hard. The boy is _desperate_, Lily."

Lily sighed in exasperation. "I know that. I just... I've been turning him down for so long... if I give in... he'll never let me live it down. Look, I've made lists..."

Remus stared at her as she pulled out a large piece of paper with two incredibly long lists. Each of them had fifteen numbers, followed by reasons. He spotted Sirius' name under the "shouldn't" section, and bit down on his lower lip to stop himself from laughing. Sirius certainly would have been on a whole other list for him.

"You made lists."

"Well... I thought it would be best to collect the pros and cons..." She said, sitting up a bit. Her cheeks were very red by this point.

"Well yeah, that makes perfect sense." Remus said seriously, reading them all. In fact, Remus himself would have made lists if he was stuck in this situation. "It's just... it seems like the perfect way to keep yourself from going through with this. After all, even if you do eventually get to sixteen on the pros list, you'll find a way to write down a sixteen on the con list just so you don't have to admit it to yourself that you've finally gotten the list long enough..."

She turned an even darker state of red. "I... that's... ridiculous..."

"Is it?"

"... well... it's just... he's..."

Remus looked at her flatly. He had thought she had achieved the ultimate redness, but apparently there was a more intense shade of crimson – that or Lily had just invented a whole new tint of maroon. She fell silent for a long moment, and he knew the expression on her face. It was the exact same one that she used when staring hard at her exam papers. Or when they were studying and she couldn't find the answer to a question. He frowned and turned back to his Arithmancy charts. She eventually rolled up her list, tucking it away.

"So..." She finally said, and he perked up. "Are you going to be taking the Ancient Runes N.E.W.T.?"

He sighed softly, but decided that it was best to just let the subject drop for now. "I think so. Eckzahn was pretty impressed by my Outstanding."

They resumed studying, but although the scarlet faded, the blush never _really_ left Lily's face.

[][][][][][]

"Show them your spell, Snape, they'll love it." Avery hissed at him.

Severus looked at the first years in the Slytherin common room. Everyone was gathered around the group of seventh years. Snape also spotted Barty in the crowd, an overeager fifth year, smiling at Severus excitedly.

"You see kiddies, once you hit 17 you get to join too. The Dark Lord needs people like us. Loyal. Wizards with p_ride_. Pure blood to fuel the cause." Mulciber was toying with a small snake he had summoned from the end of his wand, letting the emerald green creature coil around his fingers. It was a show, one to make sure there weren't any cowards or people that needed to be dealt with in this new batch of Slytherins. "Snape is one of those loyal, as am I, as is Avery, and Wilkes and Jocasta, and almost everyone you see in this room."

"Are you sure you need to wait for 17?" A voice came from the back of the room. Severus looked, curling his upper lip in disgust. A tall boy with raven-dark hair was speaking, with a visage that made Snape unreasonably angry. Regulus Black.

"What, aren't you planning on being a blood-traitor like your brother?" Avery murmured. Everyone in the room laughed, and Regulus' gaze darkened.

"The fool who calls himself Sirius Black is no brother of mine. He has been removed from our family tree, he is no relation to our most noble house of Black." Regulus sounded like he was reciting the words, and Severus wondered if his parents had drilled that into him.

"Someone should make the removal permanent." One of the seventh years behind Severus muttered, and another laugh went through the Slytherins.

"You're a better man than your not-brother, Black." Mulciber cut the laugh short with a flick of his arm. "The Dark Lord makes exceptions on age for those who are most eager to be of service." Mulciber dragged the sleeve of his arm down. As if on cue, most of the other seventh years did so also, and Severus followed only a few seconds behind.

There on their arms, a skull with a snake coiling and writhing its way out of the skinless mouth. The younger students all gasped but then looked on in awe. Mulciber grinned with piercing eyes.

"Those students who can be trusted, who will serve the Dark Lord willingly, may be taken into the fold as true Death Eaters. We are the immortal. We who serve Him will never die, and when the Dark Lord has triumphed over the silly, senseless, and pathetic excuses for wizards of the Ministry we will be at his side for the rebirth of a new era in the Wizarding World!"

Some of the youngest students broke out in cheers. Severus dropped the sleeve once again, gazing out at them. Regulus looked determined. Snape himself had heard this speech many times. When Voldemort gave it... it was moving. Mulciber was a poor public speaker. Avery prodded Severus.

"Go ahead, give them a demonstration of the power of those that follow the Dark Lord."

Mulciber straightened, closing his eyes serenely. "I heard the name... Thorne... which one of you is Thorne?"

The first years all seemed to part, and one small boy moved forward. He looked terrified. His fear seemed to feed the older students, particularly all those that had just pushed up their sleeves. Mulciber peered down at him. "Thorne. That is a name I do not know. What is your bloodline?"

"Sir..." The boy squeaked, his pale features drawn. "As far as I know... from what I learned... my mother was a Squib... she married a Muggle, but I had magic... her grandmother was a Malfoy she said though... she said that... _please_..."

Jocasta Warrington sucked in her breath hard at this statement. Mulciber looked at Severus, who gathered himself up.

"You might as well be a Muggle-born. You should watch it in this house, Thorne. Some aren't as kind as the rest of us." Severus flicked his wand forward silently, while thinking the curse.

A scream erupted from the room. Mulciber, Avery, Wilkes, and the other Death Eaters watched with sickened glee as cuts formed on the boy's skin. The shrieking went on and on, and Snape let him bleed for a little while. Then finally, he rolled his eyes. "_Vulnera Sanentur_." The bleeding stopped. He repeated the spell until the wounds had closed. Jocasta licked her lower lip.

"Related to the Malfoys indeed." She hissed. "Little wretch."

"You, take him to the Hospital Wing." Mulciber said, straightening and pointing at a third year near the front. "Thorne. You tell Madam Pomfrey what happened, you're as good as dead. But if you come back and you watch your step, you could become just as powerful as the rest of us. The Dark Lord will always allow someone to redeem themselves, for he is _merciful_ to all those with magical blood. You can earn your status back from your worthless mother."

Severus watched them leave. Thorne was sobbing into the shirt of the older boy who was half-carrying him. Avery and Wilkes were laughing. As soon as the wall closed the crowd seemed to disperse. Some were thoughtful, others were frightened, and Severus made sure to note which of them were smiling and praising Snape and the rest of the older students for teaching such a valuable lesson.

Severus collapsed onto the couch. Jocasta sat close to him. "Sev, you do such a good job."

"Thanks." He said darkly, looking at her sideways.

She was smiling, peering at him between strands of blond hair. She was a bit plain, but she was the most enthusiastic seventh year girl. Most of them were indifferent to the Death Eaters except to try and date one for the prestige. Few of them allowed their pretty skin to be marked. Severus looked uncomfortably over at the fireplace which was flickering with soft green flames to welcome the Slytherins back.

"Have you thought about what you are going to do after school?" She asked, kicking her feet lazily.

He grunted. "Dunno. Everyone seems to think I should do Potions. I wanted to be a professor, but only of DADA. Heh..." He smirked. "By the time that I start teaching, the class'll be called the Dark Arts. Once the Dark Lord is finished."

"He'll need plenty of wizarding families you know. Really powerful ones to help replace all the blood-traitors and Muggle-borns he'll be removing." Jocasta said haughtily.

Severus looked at her again. He knew what she was getting at, he wasn't oblivious like most boys his age. But he was entirely uninterested. As much as it hurt, as much as it angered him, he had no feelings for anyone but one girl.

The summer had nearly killed him. He was away from home almost the entire two months, spending time among the Pureblood Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort himself, and with Mulciber and Avery. But the few weeks he had been trapped in that hellhole of a house, there was always the playground he could see from his bedroom window. The place that held so many painful memories. It didn't matter that she was a Mudblood, that she was a Gryffindor, that she was everything that he was supposed to hate. He couldn't stop the way he felt. It killed him, it enraged him. That summer he had torn up every single photograph, letter, card, anything that in any way even reminded him of Lily Evans and burned them all. But even looking at the ashes had made his chest ache.

He supported his cause. He supported Voldemort and he was glad of what they were doing. Dark Magic was the way of the future, and people who had once laughed and thrown pies would fear and respect them, and he would make their lives a living hell before he killed them, painfully. But the one thing that would never change, no matter how dark Snape tried to make himself, was that in his heart of hearts he longed for flashing green eyes and thick, red hair.

[][][][][][]

"So here's my idea." Sirius said excitedly, settling down on the sofa. Remus moved his feet. For some reason now that they were – you know – Remus felt the urge to distance himself physically from Sirius when they were in "public". Sirius didn't seem to care either way, clapping Remus on the shoulder or giving him that awkward half-hug despite the fact that his hands had already touched entirely not-shoulder bits of Remus.

James looked up from where he had been flipping through _Great Quidditch Teams of Eastern Europe_ and raised an eyebrow. "You've got an idea."

"Llamas." Sirius said calmly. James closed the book and sat up. "In the Slytherin Dungeon."

Something glinted in James' hazel eyes – or perhaps it was a reflection off his glasses. Either way Remus didn't like it. He was acutely aware that for the first time in almost three years he had no authority whatsoever over Sirius or James. Not that he really ever had, but he couldn't no longer even pretend. His chest felt strangely empty, and he noted that James was not wearing his Head Boy badge again. James seemed to take it off at every opportunity, perhaps not ready for the commitment to the position just yet.

"James." Remus said pointedly, and the bespectacled boy shot him a look that clearly said _shove it, Lupin_. Remus gave up and quietly went back to reading his Dumas. Dumas never let him down. Dumas didn't put llamas in other houses' dormitories. Dumas did not blatantly ignore responsibility in favor of fun.

"I think it's bloody brilliant." Peter piped up from the floor where he had been sorting out his Chocolate Frog cards.

"Of course it is." Sirius said happily. "Just think of the possibilities. Fill the whole room with... oh, I think twenty llamas would do it. Maybe throw in an alpaca or two."

"Where would we get the llamas?" James said thoughtfully, tapping his chin.

"Hogwarts is surrounded by farms. We just leave, find some llamas, then Apparate them into the Slytherin Dungeon."

"You can't do that."

"Of course we can Moony."

"No, I mean you literally cannot do that. For the fiftieth time, you _cannot_ Apparate anywhere near school grounds."

"We could Apparate them into Hogsmeade, and then get them all through the secret passage."

"You are going to put twenty llamas in Honeyduke's basement and shove them all down into a deep dark hole?"

Sirius scowled. "I... You are ruining everything!"

"I'm just being realistic."

"You're being a funsucker again."

Remus sighed in exasperation. Rather than try and argue any further, he went back to reading. He raised the book up to hide his face as James mentioned flying in the llamas with brooms, or shrinking them, or any number of other stupid ideas that would never work. If Sirius got himself expelled Remus would not speak to him ever again.

[][][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Okay, so our first "smut" scene. The "deleted scene" should probably be up soon. I'm suddenly having a lot of writing to do. NonrealityRocks won my 150th review, and is getting her oneshot, so that is coming first. Then I'll write up the smut, and post that, so you should check back on my profile within the next day or so in order to read it. =)

I'm very sorry about the delay. Yesterday my brain decided that if I even put on my glasses it would EXPLODE and ooze out my eyeballs. In layman's terms, I had a MIGRAINE of epic proportions. I literally didn't move from my bed until like four o'clock in the afternoon, and even then using my computer was a cause for great distress. So, I was unable to finish this chapter until just now. I will do my best to prevent any other delays from now on.

ALSO: I'd like to make a comment on the Severus section of this chapter. It is very important to me to portray Snape's character as well as I can. Many writers seem to think that he had a change of heart, that he decided the Dark Lord was mistaken, yadda yadda yadda. This is NOT TRUE. Severus Snape believed in dark magic and the principles of the Death Eaters until the day he died. He had no change of heart. He never became truly "good". His one, single, life-changing motivation was the love of Lily Evans. If Voldemort had gone after Neville instead of Harry, Snape would never have turned against the Death Eaters, he never would have gone to Dumbledore. Period. I'm trying to portray Severus as essentially evil, but with a single, all important redeeming quality. The purity of his love for Lily Evans.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_PharaohDeli, pshhh yeahh, Lonewolf001, and LoverFaery: _You guys all get gold stars. Keep on reading, and I'll keep on writing!


	37. Chapter 37: Fighting Feeling

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: November, 1977. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

Remus hated how James made it look so easy. It was their seventh year, their _last_ year. They were high and mighty over all in the school – barring teachers and staff – and they only had one more set of brutally difficult tests before they would get to leave and go out into the "real" world. James however, had managed to juggle at least five different major responsibilities as though it were nothing. He had ten classes from Divination to Potions, all of which he was slated to take the N.E.W.T.s for. Then he had the duties of the Quidditch team, which meant practices every other evening until nightfall no matter the weather, and every Friday a strategy session with the Gryffindor team to go over moves with their little model Quidditch pitch. And _then_ he was Head Boy, going on patrols after dinner but before practices, and checking the halls before class (though Remus knew he enjoyed showing up five minutes late on purpose with no repercussions). And of course to top it all off, he and Sirius were still just as troublesome as ever. Just a week ago, they had charmed up a new batch of whoopee cushions, ones that made male or female sex noises when sat upon, and then two days after that they had filled Jocasta Warrington's book bag with undiluted bubotuber pus, which caused her to run screaming to the hospital wing. The other Slytherins were not pleased.

And yet, despite all that, James was leading like a champion. Responsible (sort of) and grown up, and a natural born leader. The younger students listened to him more than they had ever listened to Remus, possibly because James was popular and possibly because they were a little afraid of whoopee cushions or charmed suits of armor. And he still had time to work on the llama issue with Sirius until they had come to a solution. A solution that Remus was now watching play out.

Sirius had manage to "coax" the password out of a third year, and now, at two o'clock in the morning, they were all standing quietly in the green-tinted room. All but one of the emerald lamps was out, and Sirius and James were huddled around a couch, muttering to each other. Remus was standing by the doorway which lead to the dormitories. He was supposed to report of any noise coming from the sleeping students. Peter was standing near the brick wall listening for anyone on the other side of it.

After a few minutes, the couch suddenly staggered. Seconds later, a dark green llama was standing where the piece of furniture had once been. Using their many skills at Transfiguration, Sirius and James had concluded the best option was to just Transfigure all the furniture into llamas. And alpacas, and perhaps a couple sheep. James flicked his wand once more at the llama, and the green faded to a normal beige color.

Around the room they went. Every couch and armchair became a llama, the cushions and tables were alpacas or sheep, the floor lamps and vases – upon contemplation from Sirius – were turned into goats. The llamas and alpacas and sheep all calmly wandered around and started chewing on tapestries or rugs, but the goats immediately began bashing their heads against any inanimate object they could see. Remus heard a noise behind him as a goat made a "bong" noise bouncing off of a vase.

"Time to go." He whispered pointedly, heading for the wall. Sirius pouted, flicking his wand one last time at the last end table, which popped into a sheep. Then the four boys vanished out of the dungeon wall.

Sirius pulled out the Marauder's Map. It had finally been completed, to the best of their ability. Remus liked watching it unfurl in Sirius or James' hands, watching all the little people scurrying about. "Filch is still up on fourth, but Penny is near Potions, on the other side of the dungeons."

They all headed for the stairs, avoiding going down any hallways that would cause them to be seen by Miss Penny. They hurried back up to Gryffindor Tower without any mishap. They were experts by now. Champions of the dark hallways of Hogwarts after hours. Remus could get to almost any location in the pitch darkness by heart. Only Peter ever needed to light his wand or risk running into something. Back in the dormitory, Remus crawled into bed and sighed. Tomorrow morning would certainly be an interesting one.

[][][][][][]

"James..." There was a dangerous, vase-throwing inflection to Lily's voice. James was lounging on an armchair and lazily completing a Divination assignment (which for James and Sirius mostly just involved writing down bullshit predictions to appease Professor Reluquim), but when he heard Lily's voice he jumped upright, steadying his bottle of ink and the box of jelly beans he had been rifling through.

"Er... yes Lily?" He said kindly.

"McGonagall is requesting our presence in her office." Lily said, one hand on her hip, the other primed for throwing. "Something about... llamas... and goats... and utter chaos."

"Really?" James said casually, keeping his tone of voice neutral.

"_Really_."

He followed her out of the portrait hole and into the hallway. She whirled on him. "What did you _do_?"

James opened his mouth, but she wasn't finished talking. "Llamas? Llamas in Slytherin Dungeon? Slughorn tried to remove them and then he called McGonagall because they were obviously Transfigured llamas, and she knew immediately that it had to be you and Sirius, you're the only Transfiguration students with enough talent to pull that off..."

"Why thank you."

"Shut up! You are Head Boy James! You are supposed to be responsible, a role model for younger students! You are supposed to _enforce_ the rules, not break them."

"I've always considered myself a role model for younger students."

"A _positive_ role model you great dolt!"

"Lily..."

"No, don't even talk to me. I'm _so_ furious with you." Lily said angrily, and she started off down the hallway. James went walking after her rather dejectedly, his hands stuck in the pockets of his robe. Memories of a younger redhead surfaced in his mind. Just as angry, just as vivacious, with flashing green eyes. They made him burn with happiness.

[][][][][][]

Remus looked sideways at Sirius. He was angry. Sirius never openly said whether or not he was angry with someone of course, because that would require acknowledging his feelings and talking about them. Instead Sirius became dark and brooding. He was doing that right now. On the outside he appeared to be sorting out Chocolate Frog cards, however, there was a furrow to his brow, and a rigidness to his posture that was familiar to Remus.

James approached them, slumping down into the couch. Sirius didn't even look up from where he was sitting on the floor. Remus inhaled slowly, pulling _An Unabridged History of Magic, Volume 4_ towards himself a bit more firmly. Sirius was mad at _James_. That was a very bad sign. The both of them were so emotionally retarded that James probably had yet to realize that Sirius was even angry.

"Oh Merlin's beard, have you seen the Slytherins' faces today?" James said with a grin. "Snivellus had llama dirt all over his shoes, it wouldn't come off, so then Filch started screaming at him for dirtying up the floors, it was _hysterical_!"

"It was until someone ruined everything." Remus peered over the edge of his book to see Sirius gripping his Morgana card with such force it was bending and tearing at the edges.

"Someone who?" James said in surprise.

Sirius was silent, but angry. Remus raised the book up slightly and hid himself from view. This was not going to go well. "Forget it."

"What the hell, Sirius. We performed one of the greatest pranks we've ever performed, ever, period! Losing a hundred points from Gryffindor was so totally and completely worth it!" James said, sitting up. "Do you even realize? Filch and three students have been cleaning up the dungeon for hours and hours and it's not even _working_! Somehow we Transfigured llamas with dung that just won't clean up. It's like a beautiful side effect. And they are in fact shitting all over the place. Constantly. I don't even know what they are eating!"

Sirius made a derisive noise, somewhat like a snort, and threw the Morgana card down on a pile of other Morganas angrily. All the cards looked up at him accusingly, the bent and torn Morgan le Fay shaking one tiny fist at him. This only seemed to anger him further, and with a great sweep of his arm he pushed all the cards he had been meticulously sorting back into one great big pile and shoved them into his bookbag with broad, angry motions.

Now James knew something was up. Sirius' anger was pushing itself to the edge. Remus scooted back on the couch. "What the hell is wrong with you?" James demanded.

Sirius got to his feet, and gave James a glower so severe that Remus was sure a part of James was shrinking at the very thought. Indeed James curled his upper lip back in irritation. "Nothing, except you've got yourself a new best mate, and the Marauders might as well disband! All of you, nothing but a bunch of... UGH."

"Er..." Remus attempted, but a look from Sirius shut him up. Seconds later, the dark-haired boy was whipping up the dormitory stairs. The three remaining Marauders just looked at each other silently for a moment, before James made a rude noise and motioned towards the stairs.

"What the fuck is up with him? He's cross over nothing!"

"Must be puberty." Peter said, only it wasn't as witty, nor as funny, as when Sirius, James, or even Remus tried the line.

"Shut up, Pete." James shot out, twisting sideways and giving Peter a scathing look. The blond scrunched up his face and shrank down obediently.

"I think he's a bit put out by you being Head Boy, that's all." Remus attempted. "He's always been a bit iffy on Lily, doesn't really understand..."

"He's an idiot." James said decisively, but he looked disturbed, glancing up at the stairs.

[][][][][][]

Remus looked around the dormitory. It was empty. James and Peter had started playing Exploding Snap and Remus had very delicately removed himself from the situation. Now he looked for Sirius. From the bathroom he heard the shower running. Since it was before dinner there wasn't anyone in the dormitories, so obviously it was Sirius. Remus set his book on the bed and headed into the bathroom.

He checked to make sure they were alone, and pointed his wand at the door. "_Muffliato_."

"Moony?" Sirius' voice came from one of the showers. Remus dragged his shirt over his head and then removed the rest of his clothes, folding them and laying them on the small shelf where Sirius' clothes had been shoved haphazardly into a pile.

"Yeah, it's me." Remus slid into the shower and closed the curtain. Sirius smirked at him and handed him the soap.

"Wash my back?"

Remus ran the soap over Sirius' skin and massaged it in, and then they turned around together under the water to rinse it off. Half-way through washing the muscular planes of Sirius' shoulders Remus' grip on the soap slipped and the bar fell to the floor. Remus broke out into a laugh that was disturbingly like a giggle. "Sorry."

Sirius bent down, and grabbed it, and then jerked upright as Remus' hand made a grab for something very un-soap-like. "Hey!"

"Shhh..." Remus kissed Sirius, and Sirius slid against the cold tile wall of the shower, and their mouths did all the talking that they wanted to do.

Until Remus pulled back and looked at Sirius. "Why are you so worried about Lily?"

Sirius froze, his fingers tightening on Remus' waist where they had been resting. "What?"

"You're upset about Lily. And about James being Head Boy, and about James hanging out with Lily. You act as though James is using Lily as a replacement for you. Dumbledore gave him this responsibility for a reason, I mean, really, you're acting a bit childish about it..."

Sirius shoved him back, and Remus scowled. "Don't you tell me I'm acting childish! You don't know anything!"

He tore out of the shower, snatching a towel off the rack and wrapping it around his waist. "Padfoot! _Sirius_!" Remus said, coming out of the shower and reaching for him. His hand was too wet though, and Sirius nearly tripped as he turned around, and extricated himself easily.

"Bugger off." Sirius hissed darkly, leaving the bathroom and Remus alone.

[][][][][][]

_"Hey Black, why don't ya tell us all about your family?"_

_ "Yeah, have they Cruciated any Muggles lately?"_

_ A small dark-haired boy looked up at his tormentors. His charcoal gray jumper was lined with red and gold. He screwed up his face in anger, staring at the pair of fifth years. They laughed._

_ "Shut up, asshats!" The boy called Black – first name Sirius – shot back at the older students._

_ Their laughter was louder than ever. "You little black-hearted rat. Looks like the Sorting Hat finally got something wrong! You don't deserve to be in Gryffindor. You should be in Slytherin with all your other stupid relatives. All of you deserve a Killing Curse!" One of the boys pulled out a wand. "Just wait a few years, you'll get yours."_

_ "AIIIIIIEEEEEE!" The scream was full of capitalized letters and far too many exclamation points. A blur of black and grey and red and gold came out of nowhere. The scream and the blur were followed by an explosion of brown and a putrid odor._

_ A hand wrapped around Sirius Black's small arm, and dragged him away. The fifth years – covered in the contents of three perfectly thrown dungbombs – yelped and scrambled backwards. Sirius was pulled around the corner and then released. The bespectacled boy who had rescued him from the fifth year Gryffindors now turned to look at Sirius, grinning widely._

_ "Buncha jackasses." He said kindly, then he laughed._

_ Sirius stared for a moment, and then burst into a peal of laughter as well. "That was brilliant!"_

_ "You betcha. I'm smarter than five of those guys put together." The boy said, laughing and clapping Sirius on the back. "'Sides, buncha jerks anyway. You don't need 'em."_

_ "You're a first year, aren't you?" Sirius said with a sideways glance. No one had yet greeted Sirius Black: First Year Gryffindor, with anything but scorn and jibes about his surname._

_ "James Potter. Listen, you don't need to worry about being a Gryffindor." James smirked. "My mum is a Black."_

_ "What? I've heard of the Potters before, didn't know..."_

_ "Yeah, yeah. My mum talked about it once. She got kicked out, kinda... well that's not totally true, but listen, not all Blacks are bad. I mean, some of them, well most of them are anyway... but the Sorting Hat never lies. My dad said so. You were meant to be a Gryffindor, and if anyone tells ya different we'll punch their lights out!" James punched Sirius' arm._

_ The two eleven year olds burst into childish and – on the part of one formerly lonely first year – relieved laughter, and James led his new friend to the Great Hall. New best mate? Maybe. At least for a little while._

"He hasn't even looked at us for days." Peter said mournfully. "He might not ever talk to us again."

Jerked from his thoughts, James looked over at Remus, who was staring over the back of the couch and out the window. Remus had been moony – the state of mind sort, not the fuzzy sort – more than ever in the last few days. James had assumed that Remus would be there to smooth things over. Remus was after all, friends with both Sirius _and_ Lily. However, Remus seemed to be more lost than James himself felt.

And lost he felt indeed. He and Sirius had _never_ fought. Remus and Sirius had that one time back in fourth year. But not James and Sirius. Never James and Sirius. The first two, brothers in arms – and now that they were sharing two parents they were almost like blood brothers. They stood against general prickishness the world over, armed with nothing but genius, dungbombs, rakish handsomeness, and a touch of insanity. He looked back at his broom, the bristles of which he had been trimming carefully with a pair of special scissors. Thoughts faded in and out of his head.

[][][][][][]

Sirius had been sitting on the couch when suddenly he was struck. Not by inspiration, nor by a sudden thought. No, Sirius Black was struck by a large bucket of yellowish liquid. Some of it splashed into his mouth, and he coughed and spat out the liquid, but not before he felt a tingle in the back of his throat. He straightened, and looked up at James, who was staring him down with the empty bucket in his hands.

"What the he-" Instead of the dulcet tones of his usual, beautiful voice, the sound that issued from Sirius' throat was high-pitched, squeaky trilling, quite simliar to the sound that fairies made while they tried to mob someone's head. "You... Volubilis Potion?"

"Because I'm sick of hearing you mumble deeply under your breath like some great stupid ape." James said angrily. "Stomping around like you're the center of the goddamn universe. Well guess what Sirius Black, you aren't."

"Fuck you!" The squeaking voice made Sirius' words sound like a chipmunk was speaking, and it only made him angrier. "Who are you to tell me what to do? You aren't my parents, you aren't _anybody_!"

"I'm your bloody best mate, that's what! You and I are brothers, you promised that to me seven years ago! Just because I care about someone and you wouldn't know how to love someone if they were on their knees in front of you and begging you with everything they had. You are a stunted, childish... _boy_!"

The common room was staring, everyone either pretending not to notice by lifting books over their heads, or looking at them both outright with no shame. Peter, who had also been splashed by the potion, but thankfully hadn't ingested any, was standing next to a lamp as though he were trying to get his girth to fit behind the stand of the lamp, to hide behind it. Remus had been up in the dormitories, but he came rocketing down the stairs when he heard James shouting, and now he stood at the bottom of the stairway, looking from one to the other of his best mates like each of them held a rope and was trying to pull him in both directions at once.

Sirius took a swing at him. James dodged it, and before anyone could even move, they were on top of each other. Fists flew, James' glasses went flying, and fabric ripped as Sirius tore James' Head Boy badge off his chest. Remus pointed his wand at the badge as it went sailing through the air, and it landed softly in his hands.

The fight went on, too long. And then, just as suddenly, the common room went quiet. Those people who had been watching them suddenly had something else very important to do. James and Sirius stopped as well. James still had a fistful of Sirius' hair, and Sirius' hand was very close to James' throat.

Minerva McGonagall was standing in the doorway, her hair frazzled, pointed hat askew. Remus gazed at her, fear caught in the back of his throat, showing on his face. "Mr. Potter. Get up this instant. You need to come with me."

James and Sirius broke apart, not looking at each other. Remus handed over both the glasses and the badge, and James stalked off, leaving one knocked over table, two chairs, and three very confused and torn Marauders.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Sooooo... my writing schedule has been a bit off. Looks like instead of every single day like you very spoiled readers are used to, every other day is going to be more likely. I have no intentions of letting things slow down much more than that if I can help it, so I hope you guys don't mind.

A bit of a cliffhanger here. I had a hard time with this chapter mostly because it was a bit painful. After all, it's hard to really point a finger at anyone in this situation. I have to pity Lily, who has to deal with a Marauder who should be a Head Boy, and then of course I feel sorry for James, who just loves her so much that getting the chance to be Head Boy alongside him makes him rather stupid. And then there's Sirius, who feels neglected and jealous of Lily because she is taking away his best friend, but of course he's too emotionally stunted to really understand how he feels. And then Remus, who is trying to be everyone's best friend all at once and failing miserably.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_LoverFaery, Lonewolfe001, pshhh yeahh, PharaohDeli: _Almost at two hundred reviews you guys! ZOMG NO WAI LIKE TOTALLY. xD I love you guys, so keep being awesome!_  
_


	38. Chapter 38: Family Ties

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: November, 1977. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

Remus was the one who should have understood the most what it meant to be standing here. He should have been the one with all the kind words and pats on the back. He knew what it was like to lose family. Except he didn't, because this wasn't just a mother, it was a mother _and_ a father, and all the family James had left in the world. Remus was always awkward, and even now, even when he was wearing the same suit he had worn less than a year ago in his own house, even when he recognized all the symptoms, he didn't know what to do, and wouldn't know how to do it if he did.

Lily had never been so kind to James. Not even when they went on that date, not even when she was friends with him. They had always had a kind of animosity between them. They were friends, they got along, but behind all of that there was a distinct push and pull, like two small children who threw spitballs and kicked each other on the playground. Now she was unbearably kind, kind enough for herself and Remus, who really didn't know what to do.

Sirius was angry and broken. Remus didn't even know how to fix him. They were all broken somehow. Peter, who wanted nothing more than for James to do something wonderful so that he could applaud and somehow make it better. Lily, who was being far too kind to the boy who had lost his parents, consoling and offering herself as a shoulder or an arm, or anything, anything at all that James needed. Remus who knew the hole in the pit of James' stomach and the gnawing, angry, torn, grieving sensation, yet couldn't even bring himself to say sorry. And Sirius, who was lost, who needed to pound something into the ground to make himself feel better, and who probably wanted James to be the one he pounded, for no reason at all, and that only made him angrier and guiltier.

They had been Sirius' family too. The only real family he had ever had. And they had been his one and only family for only a year before they were gone too. Remus wanted to comfort him, to do what he knew how to do. But they were at a funeral for god's sake, that would be wrong on several levels, not to mention it meant leaving James entirely alone while they went off and snogged or whatever else they were doing.

James walked by them again after making a circle around the room, receiving conciliations from everyone who had gathered. People seemed afraid to touch him, afraid to do anything but apologize. Remus didn't want to apologize like everyone else. The four of them, Peter, Lily, Sirius, and Remus, were all standing next to one of Mrs. Potter's flowerpots. The blooms were looking on the saggy side, so Remus – while no one was looking – had poured his glass of water into the base of the plant. Somehow seeing the plants James' mother had tended die as well would be too much.

"Is there anything you need?" Lily said, her voice small, and her eyes painfully soft as she looked at the man in front of her. James was a man now, and would probably never be a boy again.

"I need all these people to bugger off." James said. His voice was lighthearted, but his eyes were serious.

Sirius said nothing. No witty comeback. He didn't even look directly at James, but over his head at the rest of the room. The bespectacled wizard managed a smile. It was an understanding smile. It seemed to say _I know how you feel and I'm not angry_. This expression only seemed to make Sirius more upset than ever, and he gave James a dark look before turning to the side. He was facing Remus, but his eyes were still on the floor, or the flowerpot, or out the window.

"You don't have to talk to everyone." Lily said reassuringly. She set down her glass on a nearby table and touched James' arm. Remus felt weak for not having the courage to touch James before this. As though James would look at Remus and go "_You don't know what it's like. At least your dad is still alive._"

"They all came out for this... least I can do is thank them." James said. His voice seemed deeper, or maybe it was just the somber overtone to his words.

"They'll understand." Lily said pointedly, her fingers still pressing into James' forearm, her eyes still gentle. Remus looked away. He felt that this was an important moment between them, and they were all superfluous to the man and woman who were looking at each other with more unspoken things than spoken ones.

"Thanks." James said. Only it wasn't a _thank you for saying those things_. And he seemed to be speaking to all of them. "Really you guys, thank you for coming. You didn't have to. I mean... well... you know what I mean."

"We do." Remus said lamely. He felt as though if Lily had said it, it would have meant more to James.

"Remus, I..." James seemed to want to say something. After all, the two Marauders were now connected by a bond stronger than friendship. Mutual grief had a way of pulling people together.

"Forget it. I mean... don't forget it... but don't think about it too much today." Remus winced. He was murdering the meaningful words he had been trying to say. "You've just sort of got to... plow through... you know? It's just a big pile of snow you've got to walk through instead of climb over, and somewhere around the middle you feel like you're suffocating and you're numb, but you keep walking and then eventually you get to the other side. You'll always remember the suffocating bit, but you can breathe, and feel, and things get better."

James seemed surprised by the poignant metaphor that his friend had just come up with. "Thanks Moony. That was... helpful."

"Load of bunk."

Everyone in the small area turned to look at Sirius. Remus was hurt by Sirius' dismissal of what the sandy-haired wizard viewed to be quite a good analogy for grief, although of course he didn't show it. Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and slowly looked at all of them.

"You don't walk through snow, you push it out of the fucking way." Sirius added, and then he looked at the floor again.

"Padfoot..." Remus said, reaching out an awkward hand to awkwardly touch Sirius' awkward shoulder. Sirius jerked away, and Remus felt something crack in him. Sirius didn't look him in the eyes as he walked off.

Lily's lower lip was trembling. "How... how _could_ he... doesn't he realize?"

James shook his head. "No... no, it's fine. I get it. My mum and dad... they were his parents too. I mean..."

Remus sighed, and turned. He gave James a look, and James blinked. Telepathic permission to go after Sirius. He turned and headed out the back door where Sirius had gone. He didn't know where Sirius would go, so he just sort of followed his instincts.

[][][][][][]

It wasn't fair.

Sirius collapsed angrily onto the bare patch of dirt underneath a tree at the far end of the backyard, where once he and James had been caught by Dorea Potter smoking cigarettes, and she had stood there and made them smoke the entire pack to learn a lesson. Sirius hadn't touched a cigarette since.

It just wasn't _fair_ that Sirius wasn't allowed to feel feelings. James was right. He was stunted. He had all sorts of emotions, but he didn't know what to do with them. They burned in the pit of his stomach, taunting him with his inadequate methods at dealing with them. Pushing them down deeper into his stomach only made the burning intensify. When they finally bubbled up, they came out as anger, anxiety, or pranks.

Maybe James was right about everything. He wouldn't know how to love someone even if they told him that they loved him. After all, he'd never felt anything for any of the girls he had ever "dated". And Remus...

Well, Remus was something altogether different, wasn't he?

"Speak of the devil." Sirius muttered as a body he had become intimately acquainted with over the last few months sat down next to him.

Remus didn't speak, he only sat silently next to Sirius. The dark-haired boy let his hair fall into his eyes to hide them. Remus was not trying to get him to talk about his feelings, which was certainly a miracle, and he wasn't fidgeting or being awkward.

"Do you remember," Remus finally said some time later, when Sirius had already stopped paying attention to him, "that summer after fourth year, or maybe fifth year, when we found those Muggle girls?"

Sirius shrugged. "Of course I do."

"I think what I remember most – probably because it was so embarrassing – was after Charlie caught James kissing Amelie or whatever her name was, he sat all three of us down for a talk. About... you know, womanly bits."

"Oh yeah... cor, that was brutal." Sirius mused, propping his chin up on one hand.

"I think it was a lot worse for me, because he wasn't actually my dad, so it was sort of like... this conversation should be between parents and kids, and I felt extremely gawky."

"You always feel gawky."

"Shut up, you're missing the point."

"Enlighten me."

"It wasn't as bad for you two, because he _was_ your dad. He's been your dad since you first hung out with the Potters. I mean... you have a 'father' – so to speak – but Charlie was your dad, if you know what I mean. And really Sirius... it's _okay_ to mourn them."

Sirius tightened up like an animal about to run. Remus was looking at him softly, not obtrusive, not asking him to talk about his feelings. Just letting him know that yes, it was okay to mourn people who weren't your biological parents because you still loved them.

"They never asked for anything." Sirius said softly. "They never made me talk to them about it, they just seemed to _understand_. They never expected anything of me. They bought me clothes and presents and didn't want anything in return. I was planning on moving out last summer, but they wanted me to stay. They said they wanted me to have a home until I was finished with school. I didn't want to be a burden. I... I didn't understand them. Especially not Auntie. I never did ask them why... now I'll never even know."

Remus touched the back of Sirius' neck with two fingers. Sirius didn't move, welcoming the touch, and after a few minutes the two fingers snaked up into his hair and became five fingernails rubbing gently against his scalp.

"See? You _can_ feel." Remus said gently a few moments later, as Sirius was relaxing and leaning a bit into him.

Sirius let out a barking laugh, and looked over at Remus. For the first time, he seemed to see something else in Remus. Maybe it was a memory of worry on this face this past summer, maybe it was the tiny crinkles around honey-brown eyes, or maybe even the scrunched up shoulders. Or perhaps it was the hint of gray he saw in the temples of a seventeen year old boy. Despite all this, despite the pain, despite the fact that Sirius himself had done a half-assed job of comforting Remus at another funeral eleven months ago, Remus was still scratching his scalp and helping him to talk about his feelings.

"I doubt it." Sirius said eventually, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Remus' shoulder. Remus fidgeted for a moment, and looked around, but eventually he relaxed, adjusting his arm to keep stroking his fingers through the thick, dark strands of hair. "James was probably right. I'm stunted. If someone came right out and told me they loved me I'd probably start laughing hysterically and stick Pepper Imps down their drawers."

Remus' fingers stopped for a second, not continuing until he spoke. "Did you ever think... maybe those people that might come out and say something... something like that... they might know what you meant?"

"Meant?"

"With the Pepper Imps and the underpants. They might see it as a sign of affection."

Sirius was breathing against Remus' shirt, but his breath slowed as something started to dawn in the back of his head. "That's mental." He commented.

There was an exhalation of breath almost like the beginnings of a chuckle from Remus. "Those people probably recognize that they are indeed mental, and there isn't much they can do about it."

"And those people don't mind that they get Pepper Imps down the back of their trousers instead of chocolates or cards in the mail?"

"While they probably would enjoy the occasional chocolate, they probably realize that the way of Pepper Imps is their future and they – in their degenerated psychological state – don't mind it a bit."

Sirius looked up from his perch in Remus' jumper. "Hypothetically."

Remus had a sly smile on his face as he agreed. "Hypothetically."

[][][][][][]

When Lily was very young, she used to tell herself that she hated James Potter. His stupid, impossible hair. His stupid glasses. His especially stupid best friend.

He tormented her, in the way that young boys did to the girls they liked, but weren't yet allowed to like. Had they been Muggles, it might have been tugging on her braids, or throwing rocks at her during recess, or tripping her in the halls. Since they were wizards however, it was ink on the ends of her hair, potions in her food that made her voice squeak or rumble, or made her sick, and jinxes that caused pimples or facial hair.

She had very quickly learned hexes and jinxes of her own. Severus Snape had even taught her one or two spells of his own invention. The one she had once used on James in the hallway – and then James had turned around in fifth year and used it on Severus himself – was one of her personal favorites. She was not the kind of girl to lie down and take it quietly. She fought back.

For some reason this only enamored the bespectacled boy towards her even more. And as he had grown up, she had never let go of the image of a taunting, foolish, immature young Gryffindor. Even when he had been sincere, on those few occasions on which she had _not_ been angry at him, she had dismissed him.

Now Lily had to say that she liked James Potter. They had become something like friends. Like friends in that she no longer wanted to kill him, and sometimes they hung out and talked like normal human beings did.

However, that had all changed when she had shown up at the Potters' funeral. James had invited her, sort of, but it was Remus who had really pushed her into going. And she was kind of glad she did. Something in her – a part that had been in denial for a year now – stirred, seeing a somber James walking around the room. He shook the hands of witches and wizards that he knew, he talked to Dumbledore calmly and succinctly. He showed no signs of depression, of grief. He was a man, dealing with the things a man must do. Men buried their parents, men consoled other family members even when their own hearts were breaking, and men thanked people for coming even though he probably didn't want them there anyway.

Slowly, people started to leave. Some of them slipped out without telling James, Lily saw them putting on coats and heading out the door. Others came up to him and apologized for not being able to stay longer, and made their excuses, and then walked away. James turned to the four of them. Remus and Sirius had come back in from the yard a while ago.

"I've got to stay another day or two... Lily, I hope you don't mind, but you'll be on your own for patrols."

How _mature_, how strong. Thinking of his duties as Head Boy rather than the loss of his parents. Thinking of the things he _needed_ to do rather than the things he wanted to do. Lily moved toward him, and grabbed one of his large hands in both of her far more dainty ones, and gripped his fingers tightly. "James... if you need _anything_... anything at all. Just owl me. I'll leave school that day. I swear it."

She got up on her tiptoes – when had James become so tall? – and kissed his cheek. He looked bewildered, but grateful, and she squeezed his hand one more time before she turned back to Remus. "We should probably go."

Remus smiled at her and nodded. She had been to his mother's funeral only a year ago, and she was surprised he had been able to come. Then again, Remus was a rock in most ways. Sirius had at least calmed down. He no longer seemed angry, just a bit broken and twisted, like something was caught in his throat and he was working on removing it before he could speak again. Before they left, he walked over and grabbed James in that one-armed man-hug that that was the most emotional gesture the majority of the male species could muster.

James walked them to the door, and Lily squeezed his arm again, and smiled gently, and he reached up as though he was going to touch her cheek, but then his arm dropped to his side nervously. "Thanks again for coming Lily. I... it was good of you... you didn't even know them."

"Well... they were obviously good parents." Lily said quietly, before she, Remus, Sirius, and Peter all Disapparated from the front step back to Hogsmeade.

[][][][][][]

_ Dear Lily,_

_ Sorry to be bothering you like this. I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I could just as easily send this letter to Remus, as I think he might understand the contents, but he wouldn't really know what to say in response. If you don't know what to say either, I'll understand, but I think I'll feel better just knowing that you'll be reading this. Of course you shouldn't show this to Remus or Sirius, _especially_ not Sirius. He is hurting just as much as I am – which only makes him utterly insufferable rather than pitiable like myself. Please don't be too hard on him._

_ There are so many things to do, I don't even know where to start. A solicitor came by today to talk about my parents' will. I was lost through the whole thing. I don't know anything about wizarding law, but I heard a whole mess about estate law and taxes, and the things that my parents never finished doing so that I'm going to have to handle them. There are bills to pay – thankfully enough money for those – and letters that need sending, and things that need taking care of. While I'm finishing up the school year the owls and plants and house need someone around to tend to them, I know Bathilda isn't anywhere near well enough to handle that kind of responsibility._

_ It is a lot of responsibility. There are things that my parents did that I never even knew about. I had to go through their personal things to find some paperwork, and I found an entire box of photographs. Mostly of me, though there are a few of Sirius as well. And I found a letter my dad wrote while he was in the hospital. I couldn't help but cry a little bit (please don't tell the others, it was hard enough dealing with my inner James calling me a nancy). Mum died right away, but Dad was there for a week before he passed, I just didn't get to see him until his last day._

_ It's painful. I feel this ache in me. I woke up this morning and I swear to Merlin's pants I smelled pancakes from the kitchen, and I ran down the stairs and the kitchen was empty; the smell was gone. I had to sort out my father's clothing, deciding which should be thrown away, and which should be donated to the poor, and which I should keep for myself, like the dress robes. I'm a bit too tall for most of his clothes, but some of the robes will do. The problem was, as I was going through everything, the smell of his cologne, and the cigars he used to sneak when Mum didn't know, but she always caught him anyway... the broom polish that he used to use in the living room even though Mum hated the smell..._

_ Smells cling to _every_ surface. The kitchen still has lingering odors of food, their bedroom smells like perfume and the strange creams and elixirs Mum used to use, and the living room smells like roasting firewood and hot chocolate and coffee. It feels wrong, to remove those smells._

_ I'm rambling now, and I've got to go to Gringott's to finalize some paperwork. Let the Marauders know that I'll be back in a day or two, and that Remus was kind to send me the homework though I didn't bother to bring any of my books home with me. Also tell Peter that I appreciated the candy, but not to send anymore. I'm not feeling in a very candy mood._

_ Thank you for being at the funeral Lily. I don't just mean as a friend, I mean you were there as... well I'm not sure exactly what I'm trying to say. I've given up on you ever wanting anything to do with me romantically. But still, you are a wonderful friend. I hope you don't mind me writing you like this, and I hope I haven't depressed you with all this sad talk about dead parents. I appreciate the fact that you no longer throw things at me, if nothing else than for the sake of my mathematical skills._

_ Ever yours,_

_ James C. Potter_

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I forgot to mention this in the author's notes for the last chapter. The "deleted scenes" of mature content are up on my profile, as is the sev/lily AU onshot that I wrote for NonrealityRocks as a prize for being my 150th review. The smut is called _The Parts Between_, and the fanfic is called _For the Love of a Woman_. Please feel free to review on either.

This chapter was hard because I'd already done a funeral and I had to try and make this one as different as possible while also keeping the basic ideas and emotions the same. Also, hotpinkfleur and I have concluded that Sirius Black is officially one of the most tragic Harry Potter characters out there. JKR really did a number on the poor guy, and then killed him to boot. D; 'Tis displeasing.

**WOOOOOOOO**: Roxy won a writing contest! With this here story even! It was only a user-run contest on and it only had 22 entries, but I'm pretty damn shocked about it. I'll update with details next chapter or the chapter after that, but I will be receiving several pieces of prize fanfiction and a fanart of the Marauders, and I would love to share them with you guys. My readers are the only reason I write, so there would be no contest entry without you.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Mousetalon, QuartzSmokeyTygarWyldeTyler, LoverFaery, and freakyprincess-87: _I've come so far, and it's great to know that there are people who have stuck with me this long. I've never had much confidence in myself, but I'm glad you guys think better of me than I do!_  
_


	39. Chapter 39: Keys to the Heart

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Christmas holidays, 1977. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"I can't feel my bloody face anymore." Remus complained, as they left the warm coffee shop where they had been enjoying mugs of the steaming brown liquid. "Can't we just call it quits for the day?"

"No, I'm not stopping until I find a place, or my nose turns black, whichever comes first." Sirius said stubbornly, tightening the scarf around his neck. It was one of the scarves knitted for him by Dory, he had pulled it out of his trunk tenderly when they packed to leave for the Christmas holiday.

They really didn't have anywhere in particular to go. In fact, according to Sirius they were only going to be away from the castle for a few days. He had pretty much forced Remus to go, a combination of guilt, pleading, and... other stuff. Remus had eventually agreed, leaving James and Peter at Hogwarts alone while he and Sirius left for London.

They had Apparated to Diagon Alley and went to the Leaky Cauldron right off the bat. After hiding from the London cold for as long as possible, Sirius had gone up to a large message board at the back of the place and starting plucking off pieces of paper. He handed them over to Remus, who gathered them all up neatly. They were all notices of available, wizard-friendly housing in the London area.

"I want to have a place before it's summer." Sirius said as Remus began to organize the listings by order of how far away they were from the Cauldron, so they wouldn't have to jump randomly all over the place.

"You know, I bet James would like it if you stuck around."

"No he wouldn't." Sirius said with a torn expression. "And I don't think I could live in that house anyway."

Remus looked at him a little sadly. "You think James wants to live there all by himself?"

"I can't spend my entire life with James."

Now it was six hours later. They had gone through almost every listing. From the three bedroom flat with a pool on the roof to a two room hovel which didn't even have a real kitchen. Sirius seemed to not really know what he wanted, which meant that he had taken almost every leaflet in his confusion.

Remus hunkered down into his coat a bit more tightly as a gust of wind blew past them. He needed a new coat. This one was a size too small and wearing thin. But maybe if he patched the elbows it could last until January. "I don't see what was wrong with that nice two bedroom. It had a real kitchen, a bathroom that didn't look like the Potions dungeon after I've blown up a cauldron, and you could use the spare bedroom to build bombs or whatever it is you are doing for a living."

"I didn't like the bathroom. It was too small, didn't even have a proper tub, just a one-person shower." Sirius said mysteriously. Remus looked at him in confusion.

"Do you even have a budget, or an idea what you want?"

"I figured out how much I can spend on an apartment until I get a job, if that's what you mean."

"You're using your inheritance, aren't you?"

"Yes, well, that is the only source of money I have. It's not like I'm getting a stipend from dear ol' Mum and Dad." Sirius took the final piece of paper from Remus. "Let's go to this place, and then we'll head back to the Cauldron for the night. I booked us a room."

"Sirius! I couldn't... I don't have any money for a room at the Cauldron, why don't we stay at my place? My dad wouldn't mind."

"Because at your place your dad would mind. I don't want to traumatize him with the sounds of our canoodling. Besides, Remus. You need to get used to other people paying for things every so often. It might happen. And, because you still want to argue, if I cancel the reservation on such short notice they'll charge me _fifty_ Galleons. For not even staying in the room."

Remus blinked, and decided Sirius had not told him what they had been doing for a very good reason. And now he was stuck, because Sirius knew very well that Remus would never let Sirius be charged fifty Galleons for _not_ staying in a room at the Leaky Cauldron. "Fine, fine. I suppose our luggage is already there anyway."

"Good lad. Now, this last place." Sirius grabbed Remus' hand, and Disapparated.

[][][][][][]

"I'm surprised you came back early." James said, sitting down next to Lily on the sofa. She smiled at him.

"Yes, well after the whole family dinner thing, I decided to come back early so I could study extra for N.E.W.T.s. Mum and Dad didn't mind, they don't really get most about the wizarding world, but something they can understand really easily is a big final test that determines my future careers." She laughed and adjusted the book on her knees.

She was wearing a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and a jumper, nice and cozy for sitting around during the Christmas holidays. The pajama bottoms were a few sizes too big, as though she had borrowed them from a male relative or boyfriend. She noticed him noticing them, and smirked.

"They're mine you know. I just like something comfortable and warm in the winter."

"And the jumper with the unicorn wearing a Christmas wreath?"

She flushed. "My parents always get me a Christmas jumper... I guess they thought this one was funny. Petunia hated it though, she tried to borrow it right off because 'you get to see real unicorns, don't you', but I'm pretty sure she wanted to wreck it. Her jumper just had this atrocious Santa Claus."

"Santa Claus?"

She blinked. "He's... sort of a Father Christmas figure. St. Nicholas? No? Well anyway, he's sort of like a fat Dumbledore, wears all red with white fur trim, has a huge beard, sometimes a pipe."

"Weird."

"He delivers presents to small children, all over the world, rides a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. You go to sleep, and when you wake up there are presents under the tree."

"Oh, so he's a wizard? Strange I haven't heard of him."

"He's not real, James. He's just a story that parents tell their children to help them behave and to make them believe in magic a bit. He only delivers presents to good little boys and girls."

"How does he know if they are good?"

"He watches them. 'He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake'... it's an old song we used to sing while caroling."

"So this old fat guy watches little kids all year long and then decides subjectively whether or not they've been 'good' by society's standards, and then rewards them by breaking into their house in the middle of the night, and leaves presents?"

Lily scrunched up her face in displeasure. "You are ruining the concept of Santa Claus, James. It's not about standards or being watched. It's about waking up Christmas morning and knowing that someone you don't even know exists for sure might have come and given you toys or candies or maybe even just a pair of socks, but it's a warm fuzzy feeling, and always a surprise. It's a part of childhood. And then you grow up and you find out he isn't real, it's a little disappointing yes, but you kind of like the idea that your parents lied to you because they wanted you to feel joy."

James considered this for a moment. "I dunno, seems like a rough gig. Wonder how this Claus fellow does it. I could see it make sense if he Apparated into their houses, Muggles don't know anything about shielding their homes from people just popping right in. But a sleigh with reindeer? It'd have to be a bloody huge sleigh, no way eight reindeer could use it, unless he used a Shrinking Charm on the presents, not to mention the charms he'd have to use to make the reindeer fly..."

Lily put a hand on his knee and made him stop. "You aren't supposed to explain him, he's _magic_."

James raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't make any sense. Magic is easily explainable."

"To Muggles it does. Just forget it." Lily said with a roll of her eyes.

The boy frowned and turned his head to the side. Lily tended to get annoyed whenever she tried to explain Muggle things and ideas to any Purebloods. After all, Muggles understood the wizarding world with some ease, seeing as they had billions of stories concerning magic and the world and how things worked. But Wizards didn't tell stories about Muggles wielding electricity to their children, and so most of them were frightfully stupid when it came to Muggle things. Lily knew that most of all because she was tutoring a group of third and fourth years in Muggle Studies who were all at risk for failing.

"Hey, do you want your Christmas present? I know it's a couple days late, but I wasn't sure your parents would appreciate it showing up, plus if Muggles saw it... well that could be bad." James smirked.

Lily blinked in surprise and watched him get up and leave. She had only gotten him a brand new pair of broom scissors for his bristles. Thus she was shocked when he came back with a bright blue box about the size of a toaster. "James! You didn't have to get me something so big!"

Then she noticed a humming noise coming from the box, and she paused. There were also several large holes punched in the top. He noticed her sudden anxiety and quickly shook his head. "It's nothing dangerous. In fact, it's pretty much the opposite of dangerous."

She pulled the top off of the box. Within it was a cream-colored ball of fluff. "A puffskein? Oh how cute!"

She pulled out the ball of fur, which hummed happily upon contact. Instead of the usual yellowish custard color, this one was a soft white-beige. It was also much smaller than normal. She looked at James in confusion.

"My dad had a friend who's been breeding albino puffskeins. I thought they were pretty nice, not really for me, but he gave me one after my parents... passed, and I thought it'd be nice for you. They don't need to eat much, they're nice and soft and you can be rough with them occasionally. The albino ones only live about five years which is half what the normal ones do, but they're smaller too. I thought you might like it..."

"Oh, it's a lovely present. Is it a boy or a girl?" Lily asked, holding the puffball aloft so she could try and find some kind of identifying mark.

"Er... no way to tell really. I don't even think they breed like most animals. I think they just split, I'm not sure on the particulars. Probably would want to go with a nice unisex name. Like maybe Elvendork."

"Elven what?" Lily said in confusion, holding the humming puffskein against her chest and petting it lightly.

"Elvendork... it's unisex? ... never mind. Sirius would have laughed anyway. I'm glad you like it." James said with a smirk.

"I really do." Lily said lightly, looking at James curiously.

[][][][][][]

"I'll take it." Sirius said as he walked into the bedroom of the tenth place they had visited – and the last for the day.

The elderly wizard raised an eyebrow. "We haven't even discussed rent or my rules."

"Apologies sir. Let me know your rules." Sirius nodded politely. Remus glanced at him.

"Rent is 180 Galleons per month. That includes all your water and a Floo hook-up. There is a possibility to run Muggle electricity through here if you so wish it, you'll have to report it to me and file the paperwork with the Ministry first to make sure you can use it properly. There are four units in the building. As a ground floor unit you have a patio out there, no plants may grow over one meter in height. Plants of magical origin are permitted but only in the back patio, not in any of the front windowboxes. All kinds of pets are allowed, but if one sound or smell complaint is filed you will be asked to remove the animal. Of course you can always just use a Silencing Charm. No parties that disturb the other units."

"Right, I'll keep mostly to myself."

"You're still finishing school, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir."

"Yes well, I do charge an extra service for care of the apartment when it is unoccupied for longer than one month. I like to make sure the space stays clean and no accidental things left out are allowed to fester. 5 Galleons per month."

"Right-o. I'll take it." Remus looked at Sirius sideways. The apartment was quite nice, and already furnished which was a plus – though the furniture was a sight on the shabby side – but it was still very expensive. Remus didn't know what rating system Sirius was using.

The man shrugged and flicked his wand at the air. A roll of parchment was summoned from thin air, and a quill with ink on the tip. "Sign your name to the contract."

"What's the policy on roommates?"

"There is only one bedroom."

"Yes, I know." Sirius said with a smile. The older wizard wrinkled his nose as if to say children these days, and exhaled loudly through his nostrils.

"I cannot forbid it. The key however," here a key appeared in his palm, "can only be duplicated by me personally, so you don't go handing out copies to everyone you know."

"I'd like three copies then, if you please." Sirius held out a hand.

The wizard eyed him carefully as though he were about to refuse, but Sirius had already finished signing his flowy, cursive name (James and Remus had taunted him several times for the Pureblooded official signature that Sirius hadn't yet gotten rid of). With a sigh the wizard muttered, "_Geminio_," and three identical keys were handed over to Sirius.

Sirius tucked them away in his coat pocket and thanked the man. After a bit more conversation Sirius headed out the door with Remus back into the frigid December weather. "Alright! Back to the Cauldron for some hot cocoa and snuggling." He waggled his eyebrows.

Remus was burrowed into his scarf, but he narrowed his eyes over the top of it. "You got ripped off. We saw at least three apartments just as nice, two with two-thirds of the cost and no fees."

"That one allows wall modifications like Silencing Charms and pets. Plus it's direct in the middle of a wizarding neighborhood so that I can Apparate onto the front stoop without giving some old Muggle lady a heart attack. Plus I liked the kitchen."

"You don't cook."

"Not the point. It was a nice kitchen. Plenty of counter space for take-away boxes. Not to mention a bathtub big enough for two..."

Remus gave up trying to argue with Sirius as they Disapparated. Then they were standing in front of the warm fireplace in the Leaky Cauldron and he collapsed into an armchair.

[][][][][][]

Hours later Sirius was laying out in the bed. It was frozen and dark outside, but he and Remus only had a sheet covering their bodies. Remus radiated heat like a furnace. He was curled up on his side. It was actually adorable in a way, the way one knee pulled up towards Remus' chest, one hand was cupping the left side of his face, which was pressed into the pillow so that his cheek was all squished. The other arm had been looped over Sirius, but Sirius hadn't gone to sleep. Remus slept like a rock, so when the dark-haired wizard had shifted, Remus' arm just slipped off and his fingers curled into the sheets instead.

"Moony." Sirius said, leaning toward Remus' ear.

Remus twitched. He didn't usually respond to movement, but six years with the Marauders and he had learned that someone calling him would soon resort to other methods to wake him up if he didn't respond right away. "Mnn?"

"Are you awake?"

"Am now." Remus mumbled, yawning widely as he opened his eyes.

"I have a present for you."

"Mm. You missed Christmas by about three days."

"I know that. This is a... New Year's gift if you must."

"What is it."

Sirius reached over and grabbed his trousers, and fished out one of the keys from his pocket. He placed it in between Remus' fingers and closed them. "For you."

Remus woke up a bit more. "A spare key?"

"No." Sirius sighed in exasperation. Remus was going to make him explain the significance of the key. "I would like you to... to live with me."

"Padfoot..." Remus' face was a mixture of surprise, anxiety, and a hint of pleasure around the corners of his mouth. "I can't afford to pay half the rent."

"I won't ever ask you to."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"I can't leave my dad alone in that house. He's working himself to death as it is. I can't just leave him... I'm sorry Sirius." Remus offered him the key.

Sirius understood, but was still irritated. He shook his head. "Keep the key. I still want you there."

Remus smiled gently and nodded, clutching the key between his fingers. "I'll come visit every day if you want."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but he was smirking. "Whatever you wanna do. If you can't bear to stay away from me that long."

He yelped as Remus kicked him, and then leaned over to press another kiss to Remus' lips.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Wow, almost to forty chapters, and we've still got a little less than four years to go. I hope you guys aren't intimidated. This chapter was mostly just a chance for me to write some Remus/Sirius and some James/Lily fluff. Next chapter will get a bit more serious (or maybe sillier, you never know) and then before ya know it the boys will be out of school and tearing it up. If only I could finish school in so few chapters. xD

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Mousetalon, LoverFaery, Lonewolfe001, Book-Mania-Girl520, PharaohDeli: _200 REVIEWS. OH MY GOSH TWO HUNDRED! *streamers go off* Thank you, thank you so much.

_The various unnamed reviewers for older chapters: _there has been a recent surge of people reading from the beginning and reviewing on old chapters. I only thank by name the people for the chapter previous, so you guys kind of get ignored. Just know I haven't forgotten about you!


	40. Chapter 40: Caught in the Act

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: April, 1978. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Fucking phoenix feathers!" Sirius spun backwards and covered his eyes. "Merlin's farts, James!"

Lily was very hastily buttoning back up her cardigan. James was wiping something shiny and red from the corner of his mouth. Sirius peeked through his fingers. "Sorry, Pads. We uh... didn't hear you come in the dormitory."

"Yes well, that's enough mental scarring for one day, thanks."

"Padfoot, Merlin, you are supposed to knock or something."

"It's the _boy's_ bathroom in the _boy's_ dormitory! I didn't know you'd be digging for gold in Evans' mouth with your teeth when I came in! You should be grateful I'm even wearing pants!"

"Sirius! That's vulgar!" Lily said with a dark flush on her cheeks.

"Pardon me _ma'am_. Can I please piss?" Sirius looked at James pointedly.

The two lovebirds stumbled from the dormitory bathroom. Sirius used the toilet, and while washing his hands rather meticulously in the sink he couldn't help but drift back to Lily's birthday.

January 30th. The day that Sirius' world had been turned upside down. Sirius was not a fan of change. There were certain things that ruffled his feathers – or fur as the case may be – and made his world a little unpleasant to live in. Adaptation was not in the Black code, and even if Sirius wasn't a Black anymore, it was difficult to change his genes.

The first change in his life had been being sent to Hogwarts. Thrown from his home. It wasn't as though he enjoyed his parents' house and the pressure and dark cloud of the Blacks. But it was still new, being away from home. In a house where most everyone hated him. In a dormitory where only James spoke to him.

The second change had been welcoming more people into their exclusive club. It was James' idea really. Peter followed them around everywhere anyway, he might as well make himself useful, and Remus was sharp as a tack and a teacher's pet, which meant less chance of getting caught and someone to do their homework after they'd spent the entire night planning tricks. Sirius had eventually agreed when Peter turned out to be a useful scapegoat and Remus turned out to be brilliantly handy. Things didn't even change that much when it came to Remus' other peculiarity. The fuzzy kind.

The third change had been the knowledge of girls. Out of nowhere in fourth year he had suddenly noticed them. Either they had been there all along and he was too stupid to notice, or they had suddenly gotten a whole lot more appealing than they had ever been before. Around that same time he had also started noticing little details about Remus that he hadn't quite connected with the girls just yet. That would come later.

The fourth change was the most obvious one. Change from a human into an Animagus. And then the monthly trek into the Forest, the exploration, the new world that had opened up to them. This change had been hysterically fun and Sirius hadn't even minded it in the slightest.

The fifth change had been the friendship of Lily to the Marauders. She might not have joined them on nightly treks, but she was there at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and in-between classes and in most of their classes. A fifth wheel that interrupted their planning and their lives, and Sirius had watched James' glassy-eyed stare with growing apprehension.

And now the final change. The part where Lily went from joining the Marauders for meals and classes, to joining James on the Marauders' couch to snuggle up next to him and enjoy the fire, or even laying in his bed with him while they looked over a great tome of Potions or Charms reading for N.E.W.T.s. Her puffskein – named Herman – had been in everything. Sirius found the thing eating a nest of spiders at the bottom of his trunk, which Lily had pointed out was a good thing, but Sirius couldn't help but feel violated.

"Well hello. Are you trying to wash all the skin off your fingers?"

Sirius looked up at Remus, who was standing in the doorway with a raised eyebrow. Sirius grabbed a towel and shook his head, not answering. Remus stepped into the bathroom, pushing the door shut with his foot. When he went to kiss Sirius, the dark-haired boy laughed.

"We're just as bad as them you know."

"Good heavens I hope not." Remus said, biting down just slightly on Sirius' earlobe. There was a pleasant tingle in the pit of Sirius' stomach. "I hoped we would be over the clinging to each other constantly bit a while back."

"Doesn't it make you gag?"

"Mhm..." Remus trailed a line of kisses across Sirius' chin. "The nausea is overwhelming."

Sirius was trying to keep up his end of the conversation, but all he was thinking was that a Locking Charm and a Silencing Charm on the door would go a long way for the next 30 minutes.

[][][][][][]

"_Well_."

In front of Albus Dumbledore – inadvertently for certain – were two students. One with raven-black hair and grey eyes, and one with lighter hair and soft brown eyes. Very slowly, the two of them untwisted themselves from where they had been clinging to one another in the small closet. Dumbledore – though wise in most respects – had thought it was a storage space for spare chairs. Instead it was a much smaller supply closet, and he shifted his eyes away from the boys – now hastily smoothing down their hair and looking positively horrified – to glance at the shelves, seeing nothing but unlabeled bottles and a couple large decanters of what appeared to be several kinds of cleaning solutions.

"Pr-professor..." Remus Lupin was the first to break the silence that hung over them.

"I was looking for the spare chairs storage room. I'm afraid that despite having lived in this castle for as long as I have, I still can't remember where anything is." He said lightly.

"Spare chairs?" Sirius said, his voice unusually high. "I think there's a storage room with desks and chairs on the fourth floor near Transfiguration..."

"Indeed?" Dumbledore mused, tapping his crooked nose with one finger. He turned around, hearing the quick and anxious breaths of the two students still behind him. "One of these days someone should make a map of the castle."

The breathing slowed to almost inaudible. Remus let out a short laugh. "Right. That would be handy."

Dumbledore turned back around. "You are both seventh years, are you not?"

They both flushed at almost the same moment. "Yes." Sirius said, unnerved.

"It is the view of this school that by the time a student is preparing for N.E.W.T.s they should be able to perform a suitable Locking Charm." He said calmly, watching as the synchronized flushes grew even darker. "Mr. Lupin, if you wouldn't mind coming to my office later... is it almost morning? Yes, later today will do nicely. Say... after lunch? The current password is _Ice Mice_."

Remus' eyes widened a fraction, but he tried not to show his consternation as he nodded his head obediently.

"These are dark times we live in, gentlemen." Dumbledore said as he turned to go. "However, it might not be good to lose your heads."

With that said, he swept away, fully intending on completing his task of finding that storage room with some spare chairs.

[][][][][][]

"Oh Merlin's pants and troll bogeys!" Remus bemoaned at lunch. "Do you think we can get expelled from school for this?"

"Under what charge? Queering off in a supply closet? Remus, don't be stupid."

"This was Dumbledore that caught us! _Dumbledore_!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. Remus glared at him. Sirius – ironically – did not understand how serious the situation was.

Remus spent the remainder of lunch either avoiding looking at James talking to his "girlfriend" avidly or avoiding looking at Sirius because then he would just get even more worried. This might have been the seventies, but that didn't mean that what they were doing was acceptable. Hence why they hadn't come out and told James or Peter, who were their two closest friends and would probably be the most understanding of the entire thing.

And to think! They'd been so careful. That someone would know their secret, it was enough to make Remus wriggle uncomfortably. Why would Dumbledore be skulking around the castle at 4 in the morning _anyway_? Every time Remus looked at the Map Dumbledore was up and walking around. It was like he never slept. He felt a mixture of anger at Sirius for convincing him to go out that late/early to snog, anger at Dumbledore for stumbling upon their hiding place and ruining a very nice moment, and anger at himself for not being more diligent with a Locking Charm _and_ a Silencing Charm.

After lunch was over Sirius offered to walk him to Dumbledore's office, or borrow the Cloak from James and join him. Remus shook his head no, encouraging him to go to Transfiguration. He muttered the password at the gargoyle and climbed the stairs to the circular office.

Dumbledore was sitting at his desk. One long finger was trailing along the pages of _Transfiguration Today_. He shook his head lightly as he looked up at the doorway. "Ah, Remus, come in. Would you like a lemon drop?"

Remus – having never done so before but finding himself in desperate need of something to occupy his tongue with – actually took one for the first time. He popped it into his mouth and felt his cheeks shrivel at the sharp sour flavor. It was several minutes before Dumbledore spoke.

"If you are concerned about the entire... _experience_ this morning, do not be. It is not my business if a pair of students need to be alone. As I said. These are dark times. We find comfort and safety where we can." The elderly wizard said it all very calmly, as though Remus had been found with Lily rather than another seventh year of the male variety.

"Er... thank you sir."

"With that said, I would like to advise you against improprieties in the building. This castle has a way of keeping people from being together. Between the ghosts, and Peeves, and wandering professors..." His blue eyes were twinkling with the joke of his words.

Remus smiled nervously. "I see what you mean."

Dumbledore let out a small cough, then looked at Remus calmly. "It is nearly time for N.E.W.T.s. Do you feel prepared?"  
"Not in the slightest, Professor." Remus said, and he actually felt better for telling the full truth.

"Good. You aren't supposed to feel prepared for the Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests. They would only be E.W.T.s otherwise."

Remus blinked curiously. He had no idea that Dumbledore had a sense of humor. Of course everyone knew that he was kind, and wise, and fair, and just in his punishments. But this was a new experience for Remus, who had only ever been in Dumbledore's office on official business or on the rare occasions the Marauders had gotten in enough trouble to warrant examination by the headmaster. "Er... I suppose so."

"I have faith you and James and Sirius will all do very well on the tests. And with your help, Peter could do better as well."

"I've been tutoring him, and so has Lily."

"Yes, Lily and I have already had this conversation." Dumbledore airily ignored the confused look on Remus' face. "I do recall having spoken to you concerning certain details of the Wizarding War, as it has come to be called."

"I haven't heard anything in the Prophet like that..."

"You won't, I'm afraid. The wizards are entirely divided into three parts. Those that support Lord Voldemort, about a hundred official Death Eaters, then the dark beings that he has enlisted to do his dirty work, like giants, trolls, some goblins, and of course, werewolves. All beings that have been shunted in the Ministry, mistreated by the magical society."

Remus shifted uncomfortably. He had never had much of a problem with his lycanthropy, but it was only a matter of time before people knew. When he went to get a job they would find out. The Registry was anonymous to civilians, but if Remus tried to get a position with the Ministry they would never hire him. It wasn't something he really _hated_, not like Greyback. But it was certainly something that made him uncomfortable. The thought of being highly qualified – he was confident he would have at least nine of the eleven N.E.W.T.s he was striving to get – and unable to find work because of the simple fact of what he was _accidentally_, it was a bone of contention.

"The majority of the wizarding world is either one of three things. They are secretly on Voldemort's side with no intention of coming forward until they are sure that the Dark Lord will win. They are unawares of the ongoing conflict. Or they are secretly against him but have no courage or knowledge in order to fight back.

"The third and final section is made up of my organization. We are called the Order of the Phoenix. We are actively fighting, sabotaging, and spying on the Dark Lord, determined to prevent him from gaining anymore power. We often engage in full-on conflicts which result in serious casualties. Our numbers are roughly equal to those of the Death Eaters, but we have no beings or creatures on our side. Our mission is to destroy Lord Voldemort by any means necessary."

Remus felt more and more grown up as Dumbledore spoke to him. Here was a member of Hogwarts staff with intimate knowledge of the world outside of Hogwarts, and was openly sharing it with his students. Remus might have been of age, but that didn't mean that people didn't continually ignore him, treat him like a child, and keep valuable information from him. The same went for the entire seventh year class. It was refreshing, and actually made Remus feel like an adult for the first time since he had been named Prefect in fifth year.

Dumbledore adjusted his half-moon glasses and peered down his long nose at the sandy-haired teenager who was peering curiously right back. He smiled, but it was almost a sad smile, and didn't reach his eyes. "Remus, I need you. I need students like you. People who believe in good and justice and have courage. And I need you specifically because you can be a very important ally to us. I may ask you to perform tasks that are difficult, painful, and even deadly, but you must understand that I perform them for the greater good."

Remus paused. What exactly was meant by that? "Sir... I don't quite understand what you are asking..."

"I am asking you to join the Order of the Phoenix. Not right this very minute, but soon. As soon as you are finished with school in fact. I told you that I would not recruit from the student body, but in this case I make an exception. You, and your friends, and many of the seventh year students need to be educated in what is to come. James has already agreed to lend a hand wherever he can, to use his influence as Head Boy to assist the children who have become orphans, and to speak with the older students about what they can do to help."

There was a small smile on Remus' face. "Professor, I would be _honored_ to join the Order of the Phoenix. I've already seen what the war is doing to us... I just want it to end. And I know I can be of help to you."

"You seem to have taken James' position this year very well." Dumbledore changed tactics so quickly that Remus needed a moment to get his mind to switch gears.

"Well sir... it seems he was more qualified all along, we just didn't see it. You obviously did."

"You were both _equally_ qualified. But James possesses the unique quality of being able to juggle his emotions, while you wear yours on your chest. Make no mistake, both are perfectly normal, and both are good qualities to have. But in order to be Head Boy James needs to handle the responsibilities, needs to be a leader, and he needs to distance himself from the situation outside this castle. With your mother, and your status, you are unable to do that. It is not a criticism, for your knowledge and your skills still surpass James in many respects."

"Er... thank you Professor." Remus said, unnerved by Dumbledore's words. He still managed to feel inadequate after all that.

"Very well. Remus, I hope that you also understand that your duties to the Order will become your first priority. Over any relationships you have, friends or otherwise. You must keep those you care about close, but stopping Voldemort is our mission, and we can't let ourselves be distracted by supply closets when the world is coming to an end."

Now he blushed, but Dumbledore was being very kind about it, and he nodded a moment later. "Professor... why..."

"I believe I told you last year something along the lines of 'love is something we have that Voldemort doesn't'. We love without biases and prejudices and that is what makes us greater than he, and more powerful. Just because it isn't accepted by society doesn't mean that it isn't right, and pure, and good. Now," The bell for the end of class rang seconds after he said that word, and Remus jumped slightly, "you should be on your way. I will inform Professor McGonagall why you missed class. As I said, I have already spoken to Lily and to James, but feel free to tell Sirius as well what we have talked about. Try and keep it within the family, so to speak, if you can."

Remus was still blushing as he stood up and slung his bookbag over his shoulder. "Thank you Professor. For everything. Especially the honesty. I think the students deserve it. Even the younger ones. To a lesser extent maybe..."

Dumbledore folded his fingers together against the desk and smiled a small, mysterious smile. "Thank you for the advice, Remus."

"I didn't mean..."

"No, I understand what you meant. Now hurry along to class."

Remus nodded and left the office. As he stepped out from behind the gargoyle, Sirius was waiting for him.

"So? Expelled?" Sirius teased. Remus rolled his eyes.

"No. Just... well... it's a long story."

[][][][][][]

_ "Sorry Wormy, I'm trying to spend some alone time with Lily."  
_

_ "Er... sorry Wormtail, I'm working on studying for N.E.W.T.s. It's Ancient Runes, you aren't even taking that one."  
_

_ "No can do. I'm helping Hagrid take care of some Firecrabs. Remember what happened the last time you tried to do that? Sorry Wormsy."  
_

Sorry Wormtail. Sorry Wormtail. _Sorry Wormtai__l_. The blond stared in the mirror after washing his hands. The mirror reflected back a average, "stocky" blond with a pimple on the side of his nose and perpetually pink cheeks. With thick, clumsy fingers he poked at the pimple, looking around the bathroom for a bottle of potion. He didn't have the courage to try and remove it with his wand. He ran his fingers through the thin strands of hair, trying to make them stick up in the back like James'. It fell right back into place.

Sirius had never _really_ liked him anyway. He only ever seemed to like it when Peter got him out of trouble. Sirius also liked it when Peter shared his stash of candy with him. He, however, did not like it when Peter tried to be helpful, and was very vocal about this.

Remus was a mystery. Remus was patient enough to help Peter pass his O.W.L.s (barely) and was still tutoring him in preparation for N.E.W.T.s every so often. He was nice to Peter, even when he was clearly annoyed with something Peter had done, but politeness was ingrained into Remus' very soul and was not an indication of actually having any friend-like relationship with the other boy.

James... well he had thought that of the three of his friends that James actually liked him. He praised Peter when Peter did something smart – which, granted, was rare – and even when Peter messed up James still acted friendly to him, clapping him on the back and saying "maybe next time, Wormy". But now that he had so many other people to adore him and fawn over him, he didn't need his one-man cheer squad anymore.

He didn't need Peter anymore. No one needed Peter. He was superfluous. Huh, and he didn't even have anyone who cared that he had remembered the word "superfluous". He turned off the faucet and left the empty bathroom to go into the empty dormitory, and try and find something to break up the tedium and loneliness.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Weirdly enough this chapter started out being very silly and awkward and funny, and turned into a far more serious chapter than I had intended. It was meant to be a funny vignette about the couple of months after Christmas and before N.E.W.T.s when they were all acting like teenagers and whatnot. Anyway, I just go where the muse leads me, so... *shrug*.

In any case, CHAPTER 40 woohoo. Strangely enough this seems monumental for me despite the fact that I did not celebrate 20 or 30. Again, I shrug.

ALSO: Joker'sOnlyFear won my 200th review oneshot, and so it will be posted before the next chapter. I've gotten a new kitten and he's eating up a lot of my "focus and write" time. xD

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Mousetalon, acompletestranger, PharaohDeli, Gabar, Lonewolfe001, freakyprincess-87, pshhh yeahh, leah3, LoverFaery, NonrealityRocks, and Joker'sOnlyFear: _There are seriously a ton of you. It makes me so happy to know that my story makes you guys happy. Hugs for everyone! Even if you don't like other people in your personal space!


	41. Chapter 41: The End of an Era

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: June, 1978. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"I love you."

Lily peered at him between strands of crimson. His heart fluttered. He hadn't thought that hearts did anything but beat. At least until Lily. Now he knew. Hearts thudded – hearing Lily say no, like a hammer hitting a nail sideways, bending the nail over irreparably. Hearts leapt – hearing her voice answer a question in class, gazing at her small hands or the sprinkle of freckles on her wrists, or her vibrant, almond-shaped eyes. Hearts crashed – whenever she yelled at him or jinxed, or threw things. Hearts broke – when she said "let's just be friends" it had cracked no matter what he had said on the outside. Hearts pounded – the smell of her perfume, when their knees just barely touched as they "studied". Hearts slowed – laying on the sofa together, his hand entwined in hers, his strong body wrapped around her thin one, his nose pressed gently against the part in her hair, smelling the sweet shampoo that he had been able to identify immediately in the Amortentia two years ago. And hearts _fluttered_ – desperate, flighty beats like a small bird trapped in his ribcage, flapping to try and escape.

"I know." She said, adjusting her chin. She was laying on his chest, her head resting just over his heart. It was dark in the common room, and late, and almost too warm from impending summer. Lily had been reading a book, but now it dangled over the side of the couch in one hand. Her other hand was clenching James' shirt, helping to steady herself on the rather bony and unsteady perch. James didn't see how she could be comfortable. "You say it about three times a day."

James frowned just lightly, rubbing his forehead above his eyebrow. His glasses were resting on the side table. He had taken them off because Lily was close enough that he could see her easily without, and he wanted to focus in on her clear face and ignore all the blurriness around it.

She shifted just lightly, her knees digging into his thighs. He didn't care. She bit down on her lower lip, fighting a yawn, and moved her chin. It was a pointy little chin. Both of them were rather pointy. James had craggy knees and poky elbows and he knew that he was not the most muscular of eighteen year old boys. He had become lean and trim from broom flying, but that was not comparable to men like Kingsley or Michael had been, great walls of muscles. Kingsley's neck was thicker than James' waist for crying out loud.

Lily at least had squishy parts. He knew that she would be extremely offended if he used that term out loud, but it was true. She had cute bits of fat here and there, her chest, her hips, her butt, her thighs; James liked to pinch them even though it earned a punch from deft fingers. However, her chin was like a small dagger, not to mention her knuckles, elbows, and knees, all of which were pale and pointy and all of which managed to dig into James' body somehow or another while they lay like this.

He gazed down at the top of her head as she turned it to the side and lay her cheek down instead of her chin, a much preferred alternative. She even had a freckle in the part of her hair. He wondered how many other places she had freckles and whether or not he'd get to find them all. He also wondered whether not not their children would inherit freckles. Or red hair. Or stunningly green eyes. He had an image in his head of a trio of Lilys running around the house.

"I love you too you know."

She said it offhandedly, as though James had mentioned a cloud outside and she was responding with _there might be rain_. James blinked and looked back at the top of her head. The single ear that was all he could see of her face from this angle was tinged with scarlet.

"You... you've never said that before."

She shifted again, this time fidgety, like she didn't want to be having this conversation. "Well it's true."

James' heart sped up a bit, he felt a cool rush of adrenaline burst through his veins. "Can I ask..."

"I think I have since last year really." She said calmly, anticipating his question. "I just didn't want to give you the satisfaction of being right. You get insufferable when you are right."

"Oh. Well I promise not to hold it against you that you made me wait."

"Only fair! You've been horrible to me since first year."

It was James' turn to flush a bit. "I loved you then too."

"I know. Remus told me."

"The traitor."

"He was being a good friend. He's part of the reason I finally gave in."

"Did I say traitor? I meant new best mate."

"Why?"

"Because... he convinced you?"

"No," Lily pushed off his chest completely, and he bit down a groan as her various spiky parts conspired to bruise his fragile skin, "Why did you love me in first year?"

James sat up, grabbing his glasses and perching them back on his nose so that he could see her clearly again. She sat cross-legged in front of him, her head tilted to the side. "Well... I..." He really didn't know how to answer the question.

"I dunno." He finally said honestly, and she eyed him. "Well, it's not like I was even into girls. I mean, you were just a classmate. But you were smart, and you cared about magic, and you were excited about stuff. I mean, most kids starting school here have seen it all. Muggle-borns have a kind of shock to them. No offense, it's just kind of endearing, seeing you guys all in awe over stuff that Sirius and I think is every-day."

Lily turned red. He wanted to kiss her warm cheeks. "You make it sound like we're all dull and are attracted to bright, shiny things."

"That's not what I meant at all."

She grinned coyly. "I know that. I was teasing." She crawled back across the couch to clamber into his lap like a cat. His hand instantly wrapped around her waist, and she stretched out lazily. "We shouldn't be up this late. N.E.W.T.s are coming up soon."

James shrugged. "You'll do superb."

The redhead leaned up to kiss the side of his mouth. His brain went fuzzy for a moment before it returned to the present. She was toying with his fingers. "James..."

"Eh?"

"My Patronus is a doe." Her eyes glittered slightly as she looked at him.

"What?"

"Well, it didn't start out that way. I first tried the spell at the beginning of fifth year after Flitwick did the lecture on it and said it was really difficult. My Patronus was a vixen then. A female fox."

"I'll _bet_."

She hit him, but it wasn't hard. "Shut it. Anyway... it changed last year. I was showing some of the girls how to do it... and it was a doe. And I didn't know why it had changed, until I talked to you in the library. And... I guess that's when I realized it."

James' face felt hot. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"I don't know. I just... thought you should know. I tried to do research on it, and I've found a couple of accounts when changes to the Patronus occurred. I... it's terribly romantic in a way..."

He smiled and reached out to brush away the strands of hair in her face. "It's hopelessly romantic."

She grinned. "Do you want to... go on _patrol_?"

James pursed his lips. 'Going on patrol' was code for finding an empty classroom and hiding in it for a couple of hours. "Yes, I think that going on patrol would be wise. Just to make sure the castle is safe of course."

"Of course."

[][][][][][]

Lily watched James from across the room. She should have felt jealousy to see the sixteen year old girl crying into James' shirt, but instead she only felt a swell of happiness and something akin to pride. James was comforting the girl with an arm around her shoulder, speaking quietly into her ear. He pulled one of his handkerchiefs out of his pocket – one of the few undamaged ones that his mother had embroidered with JCP – and handed it over without a second thought. She mopped her eyes, and he glanced over. When he saw Lily he smiled sheepishly.

It was a full twenty minutes before they stopped talking, and James let her keep the handkerchief, despite the obvious personal value it had to him. He walked over to Lily, hands in his pockets.

"Mona Bones." He explained. "Her parents disappeared. They were found again..." He looked disgusted now, "being used as _Inferi_ to kill other family members. Her uncle Edgar had to burn them to save his family. He's taken her in, but she's very confused."

Lily gripped James' wrist. "They're all _confused_. People are dying. People they know. She's lucky the Death Eaters didn't wait until the holiday, or she'd have joined them."

James frowned at her. She knew that he hated it when she talked morbidly. She couldn't help herself. The world had changed.

When Lily had first started at Hogwarts she had been wide-eyed and wondrous. She had wandered through the pages of magical texts and filled her head with all the knowledge of wizards, witches, witchcraft, and the beauty it all held. In the last two years, she'd had to face some very difficult facts. Wizards had conflict, hate, bias, and anger, just like Muggles. Wizards fought, just like Muggles. Wizards died, just like Muggles. Wizards _murdered_, just like Muggles. She had pictured a Utopian society where everyone was fair and just, people lived forever without disease or physical deformities, magic was used for the betterment of the people, and everyone strived to do everything for the greater good.

Now she had watched as James' parents had been stolen by a highly contagious strain of Dragon Pox, that had killed them before James had even gotten a chance to say good-bye. She had watched as magic was used for pain, not just for pranks or light-hearted prodding, but deep, dark, _unending_ pain. The kind that left emotional as well as physical scars. And she had watched as wizards strived to destroy those around them that they believed to be "different" or "impure". It was a long road from finding a tall woman in a pointed hat at the Evanses' front door, who proved her magic by making a shower of sparks fly from a tapered stick and then transforming into a cat right in their living room.

James squeezed her fingers. She looked up at him. His eyes were filled with concern. "Lils, are you okay?"

"It's just... so much death." She said, pulling her hand away. "It's no different than the Muggle world. It's exactly the same. It wasn't supposed to be that way."

"We're all human, love. We all die."

She laughed, but it was choked. "Are we all human? That's not what _they_ all say."

He scowled. "Lily. We can't..."

"We have to be strong for everyone." She said quietly, looking over the common room. The school was beginning to be more and more subdued. A set of first years were all playing Exploding Snap by the fireplace, and when one sneezed and set his cards afire the rest laughed. Now all she could think of was Edgar Bones having to destroy the bodies of his family – possibly even his parents – so that they didn't murder him.

"Dumbledore said-"

"Are you going to follow Dumbledore forever? Do you have any opinions of your own?" She asked. It wasn't a snide comment. It was a genuine inquiry. It was almost a test, to see just how devoted James was to this.

His eyes got dark. "My _opinion_ is that people I know have died. And I'm going to stop it. And if Dumbledore is going to let me stop it, I'm going to follow him until I die or until Voldemort dies. That's all there is to it."

Her chest tightened. She wrapped her arms around James' neck and kissed him. "I knew you'd say that."

Sick fear gripped her. Something about what James had said was almost a prediction of times to come. They would be filled with fear and paranoia. She clung to James, who readily clasped her to his chest, and she pushed the fear aside and tried to focus on how brave, and handsome, and heroic James was. Even if his knees were knobby and his arms were skinny, he was her Lancelot and she was his Guinevere.

These were the thoughts she wanted. Not those of the McKinnons or the Boneses or anyone else.

[][][][][][]

"Last moon of the school year."

"Just after N.E.W.T.s too. I never thought I would make it through the History of Magic one." Remus said, yawning and rotating his neck. He was packing up his things now while he had at least the tiniest bit of energy left.

"S'okay, Peter fell asleep half-way through his." Sirius chuckled.

Remus frowned as he looked over at Peter's bed. The blond was red with shame, and was reluctantly gathering up candy wrappers from around his bed and throwing them in the wastebasket. Remus had suggested this as a way for Peter to find his missing Quidditch pins.

"Last time we'll be Marauders." James pointed out from his bed.

In fact, now in the dormitory was the first time all four of them had been in the same room since the last full moon. Everyone was breaking apart. James was with Lily constantly. And on the rare occasions he wasn't with Lily he was having meetings with Dumbledore, or comforting bereft students, or talking to other teachers in low voices. He shared the contents of his conversations with Dumbledore sparingly, since the other students weren't really supposed to know about the Order, the War or anything really. He used code words like "Big Bad" for Voldemort and "mouth-breathers" for the Death Eaters. It was all anxious, depressing, terrifying news.

Remus was at least with Sirius most of the time. They had Peter with them every so often, but they obviously couldn't do the things they _really_ wanted to do with him tagging along. Peter didn't complain about it, but Remus knew that Peter really only belonged with the Marauders, and was little more than filler for a desk chair without them. He scolded himself for thinking that. Peter was useful in his own right; he was his own person. Remus just wasn't familiar with that person.

But it had been a long time since they had been together. Two weeks ago he and Sirius had performed a series of pranks without even consulting James. Sirius hadn't really said why, but Remus knew the reason that they had painted the dungeon walls with red and gold and performed flawless Sticking Charms on Gryffindor banners to paper the Potions classroom. He knew why they'd charmed the torches in certain hallways to scream insults about certain Slytherin students whenever someone walked by. And he knew why Sirius had crafted his own – infinitely creative – hex that caused every seventh year Slytherin's robes to unravel and then reform as solid black cocoons covering them from their feet up to just under their noses.

Laughter was Sirius' solution. Sirius still didn't have the emotional skills that James had seemed to be developing under the radar for several years now. He didn't know how to react to death or loss or the pain of anyone else. All he knew how to do was to make people laugh. And that's exactly what he did. Gryffindor house lost the most points it had in the last fifty years (according to McGonagall), but the students of Hogwarts were more cheery than they had been in the first term. At one point – until Remus had assisted McGonagall with some tutoring one afternoon – they had been down to negative double digits.

McGonagall seemed understanding though. Even when she scolded and lectured and took points she was being relatively kind. She should have given Sirius detentions for the entire month of May based on her usual punishment scale.

"Thanks for reminding us all, Prongsie." Sirius said with irritation. James shrugged, nonplussed by his friend's annoyance.

"We'll still see each other all the time." Peter volunteered. The ending _almost_ sounded like a question, but Remus was sure that Peter meant it as a comforting statement.

"Don't be dense, Worms." James said casually, waving a hand. "Not all the time by a long shot. We'll all be doing different things. Working. Sirius will be joining up with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I've been offered a tour of Cleansweep production locations and Galilee Harold is going to be there, scouting for five or six Quidditch teams, and I _could_ get a contract right away. Remus will be doing his library internship thing to become a professional bookworm. And you..." He trailed off as though to imply the remainder of the statement but Remus suspected he had forgotten.

"I'll be working with my great-uncle at his janitorial supply company." Peter finished reluctantly.

"Right, that. Knew it had something to do with toilets." Peter frowned, but remained silent. James shrugged and continued. "We'll mostly be all over. I mean, of course we'll be visiting and spending holidays with one another when we can. Lily and I..." He trailed off lightly.

"Yes we _know_." Sirius said in exasperation. "She's agreed to move in with you after the summer."

James grinned widely. "Anyway, the point is after this summer we won't have many chances to hang out like this."

"We've still got the summer though." Peter attempted cheerlessly.

Remus cut off James before he could put down Peter anymore. "Yes, we still have this summer."

Sirius and James reluctantly agreed. After a few more minutes of Remus sorting out socks by color, and then by age, and laying them all in the bottom of his dust-free and empty trunk, Sirius glanced over at the window. "Looks to be time." He commented lightly.

Remus looked at the sky. It was vivid orange, streaked with pink and gold and a few hints of dark purple up at the top. He nodded and left his things where they were, organized across his bed, and grabbed a light jacket. He still stored clothes in the piano for when he changed back in the morning.

What a change it was. He always woke with strange tastes on his tongue, and strange smells in his nose, and dirt and leaves and debris everywhere. His knuckles and feet were always bruised and bleeding. And yet.

And _yet_, how different it was. He didn't bite or scratch himself. He didn't slam himself against walls or floors, he didn't scream his pain into the night. Instead he released all his hurt, and allowed himself to feel growing anticipation. He might not remember what had gone on the night before but he knew it was good. He knew that Sirius would be there to guide him, and James would be there to supervise, and Peter would allow them all to come to him.

It was with those thoughts in his head that he slipped the jacket over his shoulders and zipped it up, and hurried out of Gryffindor Tower with a broad, cheery smile on his face. At the back of his mind was the sadness and realization that never again would he crawl through the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack, climb up into the bare room, tuck his clothes into the piano, and wait for a night that would make him wake up with a grin on his face and Sirius to lick his wounds.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: That's it. The Marauders are no longer in Hogwarts. Now they've got to go out and live adult lives and do adult things. Hogwarts will never be the same. So this chapter is almost exclusively about James and Lily. I wanted to really portray their growing relationship here. Especially because I decided (due to constraints and general lack of proper chapter planning) that I would skip the scene where James and Lily officially get together. Anyway, for all you James/Lily people out there, here ya go!

So... the reviews for this thing have grown so exponentially that I am really unable to keep up with the demands of writing a oneshot every fifty reviews. Instead, only on the 100s will you guys receive rewards.

_Joker'sOnlyFear_'s fabulous Remus/Sirius ridiculousness should be up fairly soon, as I have resolved not to post another chapter until it's done.

Also, another "deleted scene" might be going up on The Parts Between cause I was thinking of doing a "farewell to Hogwarts" smut scene. =D Look for it in the next few days.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Mousetalon, PharaohDeli, MiatheMinion, Lilly, LoverFaery, NonrealityRocks, Lonewolfe001, Joker'sOnlyFear, Book-Mania-Girl520, starfishstarfish, and Anonymous: _ack. please don't be offended if in the next few chapters I stop listing every single one of you. There's just so many! Just know that I would be nothing without you guys!_  
_


	42. Chapter 42: Is This Real Life?

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Summer, 1978. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

James flopped onto Sirius' beaten up couch. "I thought you would have nicer furniture." He commented boredly.

Sirius rolled his eyes, grabbing a container of Thai food off the counter. Briefly he pulled open his silverware drawer to grab a fork, and then realized that all his dishes were currently residing in the sink. Remus hadn't been over in several days, and he was the person who washed Sirius' dishes.

"You could at least Transfigure this horrid flower print into leather or something." James added, while Sirius shoved two fingers into the peanutty, noodly mix to fish out a piece of chicken and pop it into his mouth.

"Are you going to sit there and complain about my place all day? I like this apartment."

"Well it's certainly _cleaner_ than I expected." James allowed, looking around. "I sort of imagined a giant pile of mingled clothes, underthings, take-away containers and possibly some very confused puppies."

Sirius made no comment. In fact, Remus was the only reason that his apartment was "tidy". There were still clothes thrown over most of the furniture, and the kitchen counter was lined with empty take-away containers. But it was dust-free and it smelled _almost_ like a normal flat, so Sirius didn't really care.

"The puppies were eaten by the clothes." Sirius commented, digging for more chicken. He collapsed into the armchair, which groaned in protest before slowly sinking. "I _like_ the furniture. It is squishy. Feels like it's been well-loved."

"Or well-loved on. I wonder how many people have shagged on this thing."

"Only me."

"Padfoot!" James scrambled up off the sofa, looking disgusted. "Why didn't you warn me?"

"I cleaned it after!" Which was a lie, Remus had been the one to clean it after.

James rolled his eyes and very carefully slumped onto the arm of the couch. "So then I take it you have been enjoying your freedom? Cavorting with ladies? Muggles or witches?"

"Er... both of course." Sirius said lightly.

The door creaked open, and James whipped out his wand and pointed it at the front hall until he saw Remus carrying a paper bag of groceries enter and kick the door shut.

"Merlin, Prongs, calm down." Sirius said in annoyance, as Remus found himself under intense scrutiny by James.

"I have a key." Remus explained, setting the paper bag on the counter and revealing the small silver key hanging from a gold keychain in the shape of a quill and parchment, given to him by Sirius of course, not that he was going to tell James that.

James pocketed his wand after another minute. "_You_ need better security."

"It's Moony for Morgana's sake." Sirius said dismissively.

"No, Prongs is right." Remus said suddenly, flicking his wand at the full sink. Immediately the bottle of soap and a rag rose into the air and the dishes began to float, being washed and rinsed one by one, and then set on a clean towel on the counter to dry. "All you've got is a key only the landlord can copy, and an Anti-Apparition spell on the inside of your place."

Sirius frowned. "I guess you're right."

"I've been beefing up the house in the Hollow with a couple suggestions from some of the other Order members. Kingsley and Moody have been very helpful with Cloaking Charms and Unplottability. My house has been magically wiped from any maps that someone might make or any that have been made." James said with a smile.

"Dad's put a bunch of Cloaking Charms over the house. If you aren't on his written list of acceptable people, the house looks like it's been abandoned for at least a couple of years." Remus added. "Plus you are known among pretty much the entire group of Death Eaters, you know. Any one of your cousins, or the Malfoys, not to mention what your _brother_ might know-"

Sirius frowned. There wasn't any evidence just yet that Regulus was an official Death Eater, since he would still be in school for another year, but seeing as he was rumored to have been hanging out with Snape, Mulciber, Jocasta, and all the rest of those, he probably was slated to be initiated before too much longer. He nodded. "You're probably right. I could use some Repellent Charms, maybe a hex or two on the doorway that activates when someone comes in, an Unlockable Charm."

"Speaking of the Order..." Remus said as Sirius and James started discussing spells to protect their homes and apartments. They looked back over at him as he began to unpack the groceries. "Have we gotten any official word on if we're actually invited to the next meeting, or are they going to continue to force us to hear news secondhand?"

Sirius looked over at Remus. He was surprised by the negative tone in the other man's voice, almost annoyance. James frowned as he considered the question. "Dumbledore said he'd contact us directly when he felt that we were needed. According to most reports that I've listened to, not to mention what Frank told me last time we Flooed, the Order needs to keep the meetings as small as possible. They gather in a different location every time they meet, and the location is only known by the owner of the home and Dumbledore until thirty minutes before the meeting, _and_ the location can only be reached by a special Portkey that Dumbledore sets up himself among the Order members, and to top it off each person is rigorously questioned by Moody upon their arrival to ensure they are who they say they are."

Sirius shrugged. "It's all valid."

Remus made a noise that clearly said he was not pleased with the treatment. Sirius understood him all too well, and was surprised that he himself wasn't more annoyed by the entire ordeal. Perhaps it was the fact that he had his own "methods" for relieving stress and irritation. Methods being code, of course, for shagging Remus until aforementioned stress and irritation blew away in a cloud of singular bliss. That was the only reason that he wasn't more annoyed at the promises Dumbledore kept giving and then not delivering on.

Sirius rose up from his seat and walked over, watching Remus summoning the broom from the closet and setting about to cleaning up the dust and dirt on the floor of the apartment. "What did you buy?"

"Oranges, broccoli, some grapes, bell peppers, garlic. Plenty of vegetables. I was thinking of making some nice, fresh chicken Caesar salad. You need to eat more vegetables." Remus said as he pulled out a head of lettuce.

James raised an eyebrow. "You come over and make him dinner?"

"Man cannot subsist on Thai and Chinese alone." Remus said calmly, as a knife floated out of a drawer and began to chop up the lettuce, while a pan appeared from a cupboard and was soon filled with sizzling pieces of chicken. "Plus he gets rather like a dog in a kennel. Starts destroying the place."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I won't eat a salad. I'm a carnivore, not a rabbit."

"You'll eat it."

James didn't look directly at them, though Remus continued chopping up the vegetables, mixing up a white dressing. Sirius kind of ignored Remus preparing and cooking.

[][][][][][]

"So Pads, the real reason I came this way, I wanted to share something with you."

Sirius set his empty salad bowl on the table. After making salad Remus had left, saying he had to make food for his father as well. Reluctantly Sirius snatched an orange from the bowl on the end table and dug his thumbnail into it, peeling it. "Well, go ahead."

James dug through the pocket of his jeans, and then produced a small velvet box. Sirius' face made him grin, as he opened it to reveal a small golden ring. James had scoured every jewelry shop he could think of in search of the perfect one. This one was it, he'd known the moment he had found it. The warm metal had been formed into a spiral with many small leaves, a vine that would wrap around Lily's finger. The leaves of the vine were inlaid with emeralds, the exact same color as Lily's eyes. Small diamonds made it look as though the leaves were wet with dew. The whole ring was perfection, probably goblin-made to be so intimately crafted.

"Blimey Prongs. That thing must have cost you at least half the family fortune!"

"Nah, actually the maker is a great supporter of the Order, supplies news from his little shop in Diagon Alley, he practically gave it away, said he's been selling so many engagement rings lately he can afford to let one go to someone who will be fighting the Dark Lord." James examined the ring with a soft smile on his face. "I'm just waiting for the right time now."

Sirius shook his head. "A damn shame that is."

"What?"

"I was right. Lily Evans has taken your soul. I think she's part Dementor."

"I think she's part Veela." James said dreamily. He clicked the box closed again and shoved it deep into his pocket, patting it safely.

"Hmph." Sirius popped a slice of orange into his mouth. James frowned.

"Pads."

"Hm?"

"You don't think I'm making a mistake, do you?"

"Of course I do. You've been set on one girl since you were 12. I've always thought it was a mistake. You never even played the field."

"I dated some. Maybe... maybe I just didn't need to toy with emotions like you seem to need to." James said indignantly.

Sirius hissed as some of the juice from the orange got into a cut on the back of his hand. "I never toyed. I've truly and deeply loved everyone I've ever snogged."

"Hardy har har. Should I start naming names?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Elise?"

"We had a mutual parting of the ways. We were going in different directions."

"Hattie?"

"Her heart was broken by Williams, I was merely a shoulder for her to cry on until she recovered."

"Juniper?"

"Who?"

"The seventh year behind the tapestry."

"Oh. Yes well... our passion was brief though it did burn bright and hot."

James gave up and raised his hands into the air helplessly. "You really are incapable of true emotion."

Sirius clambered off the couch and held out his sticky, juice-covered hands. "Oh Jamesie, don't say that! Think of the _children_!"

James moved backwards and ducked down just in time to miss the hug that Sirius attempted to give him. When he turned around Sirius was walking like a mummy towards him, his lips puckered up in a kiss. "Don't make me hex you!"

Sirius made a couple horrible smacking noises with his lips, and continued his progression. "But ickle Jamie-kins! All I want to do is show how much I 'wuv' you!"

"Ack..." James gagged and pulled out his wand. "_Locomotor Mortis_!"

Sirius dropped to the ground and whirled around, his wand pointing at James. "_Petrificus Totalus_!"

"_Protego_."

"_Stupefy_!" The spell bounced off and burned a hole in Sirius' wall.

The two boys stared at one another, and then broke into laughter. James tucked his wand away and Sirius clambered onto his feet, licking the juice from his fingers.

"Good practice though."

"You always use a Shield."

"You need to work on your Shield Charms, idiot."

"Can't shield against the killing curse." Sirius pointed out as he tossed his orange peels at the trash. They missed and landed on the floor, but he ignored them.

James frowned. "No, s'pose not."

Sirius clapped James on the shoulder. "Listen... about Lily... well... you know."

James grinned softly at Sirius. "Your enthusiasm moves me."

Sirius punched his arm. "Don't push it."

"Nah." James rubbed the spot where Sirius had hit boredly, then shrugged. "I know what you mean. And hey... you'll be best man, won't you?"

His best mate rolled his eyes. "Someone will need to make sure you don't change your mind half-way down the aisle."

[][][][][][]

Remus stirred slightly, feeling the figure next to him shifting. He usually slept like a rock, but tonight he was feeling a little antsy, and so he opened his eyes slowly.

Sirius was playing with the fingers on his left hand. The werewolf blinked in confusion and rubbed the side of his mouth. "What're you doing?" He said groggily.

The other man looked up, as though surprised to see Remus awake, and released the hand he had been toying with. "Nothing."

Remus raised an eyebrow, but was too tired to try and argue. Instead he rolled over so his back was to Sirius, and punched the pillow once to adjust it. He shifted and closed his eyes, fully prepared to go back to sleep.

"Why is a ring such a big deal?"

One honey-brown eye cracked open, and he sighed, dragging himself into a sitting position. Apparently it was time to talk. "What?"

"Like... what if we figured out some way to turn back time, and we found the first person who ever wanted to propose to a woman, and he was going to give her the gift of a ring, and instead we took the ring and told him that what women really want are potatoes. Then when we came back to the future instead of giving out rings everyone would give potatoes to the person they wanted to marry."

Remus' sleep-deprived brain was entirely unable to decipher the strange ramblings of his partner. "Actually... I'm pretty sure the woman who received the potato would have shoved it up the man's nose and married someone else. Women like shiny things, I suppose. That sounded rather sexist..."

"I just don't get why it's such a huge deal."

"Well from a practical standpoint, women like a man who can provide for them. Therefore, someone who can shell out some dough for a fancy piece of jewelry will be able to provide for their kids or whatever. From a romantic standpoint, an expensive gift is a sign that a man loves a woman and wants to be with her forever, and doesn't care how much money he has to spend to achieve that goal."

Sirius was silent. Remus felt sleep threatening to overcome him again. "James is proposing to Lily. He wants me to be best man."

His eyes flew back open. "What? That's great!"

"They've only been dating since January."

"Yeah, but they've known each other for going on eight years now."

"Hell, _we've_ been... you know... longer than they have."

Remus was very bewildered. "What?"

"You and I. We've been... for way longer than them. Since Christmas over a year ago."

"I... I don't understand what you're..."

Sirius looked a bit frustrated. "They haven't even done it yet. And we've..."

"Shagged six ways from Sunday?"

For some reason the term that Sirius himself had applied to them several times seemed to irk him, and he frowned. "Yeah, but..."

His self-confidence was faltering. He sat up a bit further. "Sirius... if there's someone else, it's okay."

"What?" The other man looked startled by this statement.

"All this talk of engagements, rings... there's someone else, and that's fine. I mean, this was never going to be permanent anyway, right?"

Sirius looked almost angry now, his eyebrows furrowed so deeply they were nearly touching. "You think there's someone else? What, are you going around snogging people left and right? Do _you_ have someone else?"

"No, but I'm... I mean... you're you, and I'm me..."

"So just because 'I'm me' that means I'm boinking the whole block? Gee, thanks for letting me know your opinion."

"Padfoot! That's not what I meant. I just... you started talking about rings and I didn't know what you were talking about!"

Sirius looped his legs over the side of the bed and stood, grabbing his robe from over the edge of the chair in the corner of the bedroom and leaving the room. Remus looked on in utter bewilderment, as Sirius entered the bathroom and shut the door. What the hell had just happened?

He got up out of bed and slid into his pajama pants, walking over to the bathroom door and knocking. It was silent. "Sirius?"

"Forget it." Sirius said, his voice muffled by the door.

Remus turned the knob and found it unlocked, and opened it. Sirius was sitting on the vanity, staring at the floor. Remus frowned.

"I'm sorry." He didn't even know what he was apologizing for.

"Nah, forget it." Sirius repeated, looking like he was not forgetting it.

"I still am. Sorry I mean..."

"I'm more than rich enough to buy someone a fancy ring." Sirius said suddenly, which threw Remus off completely.

"Er, I would assume so."

"It's just your fingers are too big for one of those things."

Suddenly it was all very clear to Remus, and he looked taken aback. Sirius was once again, in his very roundabout and confusing way, attempting to say something meaningful. After a moment he smiled sheepishly. "You know I'm not one for baubles anyway."

"Suppose not." Sirius said lightly, and then grinned. "You can't accept gifts anyhow."

"Nope. I don't like expensive things."

"Moot point then huh."

"Yep." Remus reached out to touch Sirius' arm. "Come back to bed?"

Sirius smiled slowly at him, and nodded.

[][][][][][]

"Sorry, didn't see you there." The large wizard that had bowled Peter over in the hallway just kept on walking, not even stopping to help Peter pick up the bottles of cleansers and brushes that had fallen over. Peter sighed and crouched down to pick them all up and put them back in the basket.

"No one ever does." He said slowly too late for the man to hear him, organizing the bottles back in the order that his uncle had drilled into his brain.

"Say, don't I know you?"

A voice above him caused him to look up and blink several times. A wizard bent down and started handing him bottles. Peter looked surprised, then took them and put them away gratefully. "Er... thanks."

"Didn't you used to hang out with Sirius Black at Hogwarts?"

Peter frowned. "I suppose so."

"Yeah, I remember you. Always getting in trouble. What's your name?"

"Peter Pettigrew."

"Pettigrew... pureblood aren't you?"

Peter didn't stop to think before nodding his head in agreement. Sirius would have said something negative about pureblood families already. James might even have hexed the guy. Peter didn't even know if he could think of a hex off the top of his head right now.

"Bit early to start working. Summer's not quite over."

"It's for family." Peter explained lamely as he stood up and hefted the basket into his arms. "Er... which house were you in?"

"Ravenclaw. Name's Adrian Gale. I was one year over you in school. No more summer breaks for me." Adrian held out a hand. Despite the fact that the Ministry was quite warm inside, and it was the middle of August, he was wearing long sleeves, and didn't seem particularly bothered. Most other Ministry officials had their sleeves rolled up unless they were on more important business. Even the Minister – whom Peter had spotted not an hour ago – had pushed up his sleeves while talking hurriedly to his assistant.

"Er... nice to meet you." Peter said, shaking his hand and nearly dropping the basket.

"You should try a Featherweight Charm." The brunette suggested.

"Oh..." Peter hadn't even thought of that. It would certainly make the bottles easier to carry. "Yeah, that would be easy..."

"Here, I'll help. _Geropondus_!" The basket significantly lightened in Peter's grasp.

"Wow, that was great. Thanks." He said appreciatively.

"Sure. Where are you headed?"

"Er..." Peter looked at the paper in his pocket. "The lift. I've got to head down to the lavatories near the courtrooms."

"Great, I'm heading to the Wizengamot myself. Overlooking some interrogations. I'll come with."

Peter smiled as Adrian joined him toward the elevators at the end of the floor. "That's nice of you."

"No problem. So what are all your friends doing? Working?"

"Not quite yet." Peter said uncomfortably. "Sirius is just living in the city. James Potter is at his parent's house, living with his girlfriend. Remus is... well I dunno."

"Lupin. He's that half-blood isn't he?"

Peter looked confused, then nodded. "Yeah... though his mum's... dead."

"I see. So whereabouts is Black living? I've been looking for a flat myself and if he's in a good neighborhood I might look around."

Peter shrugged and offered up the location without a second thought, as the two of them climbed into the lift and headed down.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Not a particularly hard chapter, just some nice filler stuff. Next chapter will be far more thrilling, promise. Not much else to say, so enjoy!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Book-Mania-Girl520, Lonewolfe001__, PharaohDeli: _all the way to 250. You guys are so awesome._  
_


	43. Chapter 43: Is This Just Fantasy?

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: September and October, 1978. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"James? James, I'm home!" Lily dumped her jacket onto the sideboard that sat in the foyer of the house in Godric's Hollow. She kicked off her shoes shortly after. She sighed as she dug her socked feet into the comfortable rug that lay in the doorway, releasing some of the tension that came from running around doing errands all day. She shuffled into the sitting room, dropping her purse on an armchair and sighing in exasperation.

She noticed a gentle flickering light coming from the dining room, and she blinked in surprise. "James?"

She entered the dining room. The large table had been cleared out, and a small circular one had replaced it. Two candles, two sets of silverware, and two plate settings all adorned the cream colored tablecloth. The room was decorated with red and black lace and curtains, and soft music was playing from somewhere. James appeared from the kitchen doorway, waving his wand. Behind him were two bowls of soup, and then a dish with what looked like fish in some kind of sauce, and thinly sliced potatoes in another dish, and then a plate with cooked asparagus.

"Right on time." James said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. She looked at him, stunned.

"What is all this?"

"Just dinner. I thought we could do something romantic." He pulled out her chair as she went to sit down, the plates settling onto the table.

"Are you cheating on me or something?" She inquired, as he placed potatoes, fish and asparagus on her plate, and set the bowl of soup down delicately.

"Of course not. I need an excuse to treat you like a princess?"

"You didn't cook this yourself, did you?"

"Er... which would be more romantic?"

"That you didn't."

"Then I didn't. No really, I went to that restaurant you like and they gave me the meal to go."

"Everything looks divine. Ugh, I must look a sight." She was well aware her hair was still pinned roughly back, her clothes were mussed, and she smelled _atrocious_. "St. Mungo's is so busy."

"You look stunning. You always do."

"You lie."

"Not for a second." He kissed her temple and then sat down once everything had been gathered. "Eat up, you deserve it."

She did, and it was delicious. James didn't seem to be eating as much, not to mention he was also fidgeting. He hadn't fidgeted since they were back at school. James was a singularly confident person, and there were very few things that made him fidget. Even at school he would only fidget because he was so bored. Now he looked almost... nervous.

"Gotten that big Quidditch contract yet?" She teased.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not going for that just now. I'm waiting... for all this to be over."

"I don't know how I feel about you playing Quidditch professionally. All the moving around, all the danger."

"Well you'll be getting used to it in the next year or two. While Voldemort is still in power I won't be doing anything but helping the Order." He frowned. "There's death around every corner nowadays."

"I know that. Thanks for reminding me my boyfriend is in constant peril."

James tapped the table with his fork. "Do you hate worrying so?"

"Of course I hate it. I hate seeing any of the people I love in danger. Heck, I even hate seeing Sirius in danger and you know how I feel about him."

James laughed. "Well... it's dangerous. Even for Muggles. Until all this is over... well everyone is in danger. The whole world."

She smiled and nodded. "I know that."

He flicked his wand. "Dessert?"

"Oh James!" She said happily as two plates carrying decadent slices of chocolate cake appeared, and all the dirty dishes vanished.

"Before you start eating, Lils..." James said as she picked up her fork. He stood up from his chair, and walked over.

She watched him carefully, and her entire body froze as he got down on one knee in front of her. It was as though she'd been Petrified. When he took her hand she didn't even speak. Hell, she wasn't even breathing.

"Er... what is your middle name again?"

She felt a hysterical giggle rise in her throat, but held it down. "Jane."

"Right, sorry."

She just shook her head, unable to answer him properly before he continued.

"Lily _Jane_ Evans..." He began, his voice nearly cracking. "In this world of constant danger, you are the one thing that I'm fighting for. Not just the entire wizarding world, or the Ministry, or Dumbledore. But wanting a future for two people who love each other very much... I want to make the world safer for you and for us. And I want you to be at my side for that. Lily, will you marry me?"

She choked slightly as he pulled out the small black velvet box, and opened it, revealing a stunning green and gold ring. She hadn't even realized she was crying until she tasted salty water in her mouth, and she fell forward with a sob, wrapping her arms around James and crying into his shoulder.

"You absolute idiot!" She said after a minute, hitting him lightly on the chest.

He paused, looking confused. "What... did I do it wrong?"

She shook her head hard, sniffling as she sat up. "You didn't have to go through all this trouble. I'd have married you without a fancy dinner or a flowery speech or even a ring. You should know that."

He grinned brightly, and helped her back into her chair, taking the ring and slipping it onto her finger. It was too loose, but it quickly shrunk to fit around the digit absolutely perfectly. He smiled. "Goblin-made jewelry."

She mopped her eyes with her sleeve and he leaned down to kiss her now occupied ring finger. "I love you, James Potter."

"I love you, Lily Evans." Despite her weepy eyes and running nose, she still kissed him on the lips. He didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

[][][][][][]

"Blimey, what a set up." Sirius said, as he kicked aside the rusty watering can that had been their Portkey.

"It's all done for safety." Remus pointed out, stepping toward the small house. He actually wasn't sure where they were exactly. The problem with Portkeys was that you couldn't trace them. Or rather, that was the benefit for the Order. "I'm guessing this is the place."

"Doesn't look like much." Lily said as she peered at it.

"That's good. It doesn't look like a meeting place." Sirius mumbled the words, looking around in paranoia.

"Wormtail, would you hurry up?" James glanced over his shoulder and Peter broke into a light jog as the four of them all bounded up to the house. It had been easiest for all five of them to take a Portkey from James' house. He walked up to the door and raised his hand to knock.

Before he got the chance however, the door snarled, and the doorknob turned into the face of Alastor Moody. "WHO GOES THERE?"

"James Charlus Potter." James said instantly.

"Remus John Lupin."

"Lily Jane Evans."

"Sirius Orion Black."

"P-peter Edward Pettigrew."

The doorknob returned to its former state, and they all waited in confusion. Then a few moments later the door swung open, and this time Moody's voice came from within. "Enter."

They all quickly walked through. Moody slammed the door behind them and turned to examine them. His wand was still out. His electric blue eye whizzed up and down each of them – Remus felt rather exposed and violated – and after several moments he shrugged his shoulders.

"Come on." He motioned to a small living room, where a number of people had already gathered.

Remus recognized a few. Frank Longbottom was leaning next to a fireplace, talking to a shorter witch with dark hair and a round face. Alice Reed, former Keeper for Gryffindor, Remus realized. Judging by their close proximity they appeared to be together. After a second or two they entwined their hands and – with some surprise – he saw both of them were wearing wedding rings. Not a Reed anymore then.

Hagrid of course, was sitting on a very unfortunate love seat, and it was creaking pleadingly whenever he adjusted himself. He grinned brightly and waved his hand in the air broadly as he spotted the group.

"James! Sirius, Remus, Lily, and o' course Peter too. Great ta see ya, really."

A tall blond witch smiled at them. "We're so glad you've finally come. Dumbledore spoke of you all. I'm Emmeline Vance."

"WHO GOES THERE?" The voice roared from the other side of the door. Moody shifted from his position leaning against the door to listen.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt." Came the muffled response.

Moody opened the door, and motioned at the large figure in the doorway. Kingsley entered, looking around, and grinned as he saw his former Gryffindors.

"Potter, Black good to see you." He said in his rumbling voice. Remus wasn't surprised those were the only two he greeted, seeing as Remus and Peter had only ever been in the stands while James and Sirius flew alongside Kingsley.

"All right, who wants tea?" A man appeared from a side room. "Ah, new arrivals. How do you do? I'm Fabian Prewett, your host."

"Liar, I'm Fabian Prewett."

Right behind the one with the tea tray came another man, this one absolutely identical to the first. From their ginger hair to their freckles down to their almost identical robes. The one with the tea tray was at least wearing a slightly different shade of charcoal grey. Once the tray was set down, the man turned to his twin.

"I thought it was my turn to be Fabian."

"You were Fabian yesterday, I want to be Fabian today."

"One of them is Fabian, and the other is Gideon." Kingsley said from behind the youngest group members. "They still haven't revealed which one is which however, so generally we call them Fibeon."

"WHO GOES THERE?" No one even looked up as Moody headed for the door.

"Caradoc can tell them apart." A short elderly wizard with a ridiculous hat spoke up from where he was sitting in the corner. "Except he just usually ends up calling them Tweedledee and Tweedledum."

"Better than Thing 1 and Thing 2 I suppose." Remus commented. Everyone looked at him with confusion. "It's... uh... a Muggle literary reference?"

"I'm Tweedledee." Said the one in the lighter robes.

"No, _I'm_ Tweedledee. You're Tweedledum."

"You're both Tweedledum and just getting dumber." A tall, rakish man walked into the room followed by Moody, apparently the most recent arrival. "Hello there. Caradoc Dearborn."

"Oh, new people!" A perky blond followed behind him, blinking quietly. She looked similar to Caradoc, but Remus somehow doubted they were related. In fact, she did look extremely familiar somehow.

"Marlene?" Lily said with a gasp, covering her mouth with one hand.

[][][][][][]

All five of the newest Order members stared at the short blond. She looked sheepish, as they heard the door once again yell. They all paused as they heard, "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore."

Moments later Dumbledore himself was entering the room, peering at them all. "We are still waiting on a few members?"

"Bones won't be coming." Fabian – or Gideon of course – said from where he was doling out tea. "Sent along his Patronus with the message a while ago."

"Neither will Dorcas. She's being watched." Emmeline said softly.

"Ah yes. Well hopefully we will see them next time." Dumbledore paused as he looked at James, Remus, Sirius, Peter and Lily, who was still gazing at Marlene, wide-eyed. "Hello there. Welcome to your first Order of the Phoenix meeting. A few things to be explained. Everyone has been introduced? Emmeline, Elphias, Gideon and Fabian, Kingsley, Alastor, Caradoc, Frank and Alice, Rubeus... ah and Marlene, lovely to see you dear."

"Professor, I thought..." Lily began, then looked embarrassedly at Marlene.

"Marlene McKinnon is one of our more _interesting_ occurrences. When her family was attacked, they used a Blasting Curse to try and maximize the damage caused. Marlene was barely able to avoid being killed. The Death Eaters that investigated assumed that she was murdered as well in the explosion. She has been in hiding ever since, though she is still extremely valuable to the Order in her knowledge of the inner workings of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

They all looked impressed, and the blond smiled. "Yeah, I guess I was lucky. Not so much my brother or parents."

Lily looked upset by that. "I knew Michael. He was... really nice."

James fidgeted, and Remus sighed inwardly. Even now that he was engaged to Lily he couldn't help but be a bit jealous. Of course it wasn't his fault that Lily and Michael had never really gotten any closure.

After Dumbledore arrived and tea was served by Gideon – or maybe Fabian – everyone settled down a bit. Dumbledore asked everyone a few questions about their individual projects. Frank, Alice, Kingsley and Moody all shared the latest information from the Auror Department, which wasn't much, seeing as the Aurors had no information on Voldemorts whereabouts, nor could they prove who was working for him. The Death Eaters were incredibly private, always wearing those masks, and even if an Order member recognized a voice it wouldn't do them much good.

Then Fabian and Gideon shared information that Arthur Weasley had given them. Since he was lower on the totem pole in the Ministry, their sister's husband was able to hear the office gossip and be friendly with other people and learn information from them.

"Peter, your position in the Ministry will be helpful. It is important that you listen to what is going on, and perhaps you can prepare a report for us." Dumbledore said with a smile. "Lily it's also important that you keep updated on the condition of certain people traveling in and out of St. Mungo's. Certain high priority people could be attacked, and the Death Eaters may try to ensure that they are finished off completely."

After a bit more talk of methods that Death Eaters have been using, and their assumed targets (the Minister and his close associates, Dumbledore himself, prominent Muggle-borns), Dumbledore declared the meeting mostly finished.

"I'd like you five newest members to remain here however. And you Caradoc if you please."

Most of the other members left without much fuss, though Elphias did insist upon having a small private conversation with Dumbledore before he left. Once the group had become much smaller, Dumbledore stood, folding his hands over his beard.

"Now, I have a few very important details to share with you. First of all, the Order is protected by a Fidelius Charm. I am its Secret Keeper, that is how you came to know of it, through me only. It is imperative that the Order be kept a secret from Death Eaters, and from Voldemort. Most of the members of the Order are high profile targets for the Death Eaters, but they are risking their lives anyway. It is essential that we remove Voldemort as a threat with the fewest casualties possible."

They all nodded. He sighed and looked at Caradoc, who was sitting in a chair, and Fabian and Gideon who were standing in the kitchen doorway. "Fabian, Gideon, and Caradoc are those few responsible for actively seeking out Voldemort's location. They are also searching for Death Eaters that Moody and the rest of the Auror Department can interrogate for information. It is the most dangerous job that we have, and they are in dire need of help.

"I would like you, James, and Sirius of course, to assist them. It is very dangerous, but as I recall you both earned N.E.W.T.s in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and were certainly the most talented at evading capture in your school days." His eyes twinkled lightly.

"Lily and Peter, you have your assignments. Remus, I have a special task that I'm saving for several months from now. For now, I want you to remain aware of James and Sirius' situation, and be the back-up for when they find themselves in a difficult situation.

"Now, one final note." He pulled out his wand. "_Expecto Patronum_."

From the end of his wand a silver phoenix exploded into the small air of the living room. It flew in a large circle around Dumbledore's head, and then vanished.

"I have developed a modified Patronus, which enables me to use the Patronus as a messenger. Other Order members also know how to do this, and you will have to learn it as well. Owls are an unsafe form of communication, and the Patronuses are almost instantaneous. Make sure to familiarize yourself with each Order member's Patronus so you know to trust the information you are receiving. And, with that said, I really have quite a bit of business to handle, I shall leave you and Caradoc and the Prewetts to handle the smaller details."

[][][][][][]

"What's your poison?" Adrian said as they entered the pub.

Peter smiled and looked at the bar in confusion. "Um... whatever you are having."

"Great! There's our table over there," He pointed at a group of young men in black, who were waving at them.

Peter walked over hesitantly. "Er... hello."

"Hey there. You must be Peter. Gale described ya pretty good. Have a seat."

He slumped into the seat. Everyone looked familiar to him. "Do I know some of you?"

"Maybe from Hogwarts. Though none of us were such fancy schmancy Gryffindors." The whole table laughed at that. The talkative one chuckled long after everyone else was finished and then leaned over to Peter. "Name's Hector Goyle. This is Bernard Crabbe, Walden Macnair, and our lowly half-blood Pietro Carpenter."

Pietro nodded his head with a bit of shame. "My scum of a mother."

"Not 'is fault, we've forgiven 'im." Walden said brightly.

"Aren't... weren't... some of you Slytherins?"

"Aye, some of us." Bernard said with a smirk. "Gonna hold it against us?"

"Nah, of course he won't." Adrian set down six mugs with a smirk on his face. "Peter is a cool guy."

"Er... yeah, of course." Peter said, taking the mug of what he assumed to be meade. He sipped it, coughed a bit, and fell silent.

Slytherins maybe, but better friends than the ones he had.

[][][][][][]

"So you aren't coming this week? Not even once?"

"I'm working overtime at the library, plus Dad needs me around the house for a couple of days. He's really not doing too well."

Sirius frowned at Remus and sighed. "Fine then. You should know that this is going to make me pout."

"I'll be there Monday morning with bells on." Remus promised, his features obscured through the fireplace.

"And nothing else." Sirius said pointedly, before Remus vanished into the ashes. He stood and sighed, heading over to the freezer and pulling out a tub of ice cream. He opened his silverware drawer, discovering that he had no clean spoons. After thinking a moment he grabbed a fork and shrugged. Same difference.

He dug his fork into the ice cream, pulling out a hunk of cookie dough from the ice cream and popping it into his mouth. He chewed on it as he headed into his living room and turned on the radio.

Seconds later, with the fork still in his mouth, his front door exploded inward. He dropped the container of ice cream and whipped the fork at the dark hooded figure who was coming his way with a wand out. Sirius dived behind the couch and grabbed his wand from the end table. "Sorry!" He called out. "Wasn't expecting guests... the place is simply a _mess_ – _REDUCTO_!"

There were several thumps as bodies hit the far wall, and people grunted in pain. "_Expecto Patronum._" Sirius hissed.

As the large silvery dog appeared, a red bolt of light whizzed over the top of the couch. "Fuck! Quick, find James, Remus, hell, even Peter, get them here now! I'm under attack!" The dog ran off through the wall, and Sirius hissed as he heard the Death Eaters coming toward him. He pointed his wand over the edge of the couch. He shot out a stunning spell and then ducked down. "Fucking maggot brains! Hurry up James!"

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Some heavy-handed stuff in this chapter. James and Lily finally getting hitched. Do you guys really want me to write out the wedding? It's a small thing, so if you guys don't insist I won't do it. Just makes it easier to get to awesome stuff, lol.

Aaaand, cliffhanger. We're seeing a lot more of Peter and the effects of his things. xD

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_Mousetalon, hpqueen, Lonewolfe001, PharaohDeli, LoverFaery: _Hooray for reviews! Keep it up you awesome guys!_  
_


	44. Chapter 44: Caught in a Landslide

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Late October, 1978. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

_"Fuck! Quick, find Remus, James, hell, even Peter, get them here now! I'm under attack!"_

Remus jerked out of his bed as the enormous silver-white dog burst through his bedroom wall, nearly causing him to tumble to the floor in his haste. The voice of Sirius came from the dog's mouth, and startled Remus. However, he quickly understood what was going on and he spun instantly in place, his mind going to the steps of the apartment where Sirius and he spent so much of their time now.

He arrived just in time to dive to the ground as the red jet of a Stunning Spell whizzed over his head. An instant later James had appeared, the message seeming to have been passed through them all, Lily was beside him as well.

They didn't bother waiting to see if Peter was arriving. The three of them burst through the broken door. Remus looked just in time to hear a Death Eater whispering "_vada ked_". He didn't even let him finish.

"_Expelliarmus_!"

"_Protego_!" James pointed his wand over at the couch as Sirius appeared from behind it, looking haggard and angry. A Stunning Spell ricocheted off of it and Remus ducked aside.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" Lily shouted, and one of the Death Eaters fell to the ground with a thud.

"We're outnumbered!" Remus felt sure he recognized the voice from school or maybe the library.

"Away then. Black, you'll get your day!" He did know this one, or at least he was fairly sure. Mulciber. That meant the other must have been Avery. Was Snape among them?

They didn't get the chance to know. Mulciber grabbed the one Petrified and then with a crack and with curses whizzing over their heads they Disapparated.

"Sirius, are you okay?" Remus said hastily. Sirius clambered over the sofa.

James pointed his wand at the door and repaired it, and began muttering spells under his breath. Lily came over quickly enough.

"Stupid Black. At least you called for help." Lily said, tutting as she looked at Sirius. He had a cut over his eyebrow. "Hold still."

"I don't need your help! It's fine." Sirius grumbled, jerking his head to the side and hissing like a young child with a scraped knee.

"I said hold still!" Lily commanded. Sirius immediately froze, though his mouth scrunched up angrily. "_Episkey_."

The tiny cut sealed right up, and Lily released Sirius. He sighed and went around the room examining things. Remus set the couch back, repairing the burned hole in the wall. Out of the corner of his eye he was looking for more damage, but it didn't appear as though Sirius had anything else, other than some bruising.

"How did they find you? Didn't you put the necessary spells on it?"

"Yeah but... hell, they might have tortured the landlord for the information. My name is on the contract after all." Sirius mumbled as he started picking up things from the floor.

James returned from his room, chewing on his lower lip. "I added a barrage of spells, but you've got to move. We'll hide you. Dumbledore-"

"_Hell_ no."

"Sirius!" Remus said in annoyance.

"This is my place! Mine and mine alone. I'll not give it up because some jack-asses managed to find the location. I'll add more spells. Shit, I'll add a Fidelius Charm on the location if I have to. You will be my Secret Keeper, won't you James?"

"Padfoot, this is stupid. You can get another flat."

"This is _my_ flat." Sirius said. His voice was dark. There was no arguing with him now. Remus knew that, and so did James.

There was a knock on the door. Everyone jumped a foot in the air. James and Remus pointed their wands at the door. "Who is it?"

"Peter... I got a message from Sirius! Is everything okay?"

Lily opened the door. James however, didn't let Peter past the first few steps within. "Prove who you are."

"H-how?" Peter asked, staring at the wand in James' hand, pointed straight at him.

"Ask him a question only Peter would know."

"What is James' Patronus form." Remus perked up.

"It's a stag. That's also his -"

"Good enough. Come on in Wormy." James cut Peter off, and then motioned to him. "You missed all the action I'm afraid. Fuckers already left."

"Is everything okay?" Peter repeated hesitantly.

"Well everything's _fine_ now." Sirius snapped angrily. Peter darted down a bit, looking from side to side.

"It's okay." Lily assured Peter. Remus slumped into an armchair and curled his hands in his lap. Now that all the excitement had ended he felt himself completely useless. His hands wouldn't stop shaking.

[][][][][][]

"What's all this?" Sirius asked as he opened the door to see Remus.

"Wrong question." Remus said sternly.

"Sorry. Full name?"

"Remus John Lupin."

"Tell me something only you would know then."

"You have this sensitive spot at the small of your back," Remus said with a smirk, "when I rub it, I think you are purring."

Sirius grinned and opened the door a bit more. "All right, come in."

Remus stepped inside, setting the cardboard box in his arms down on the kitchen counter as he walked by it. "I'm moving in."

"What?" Sirius blinked several times in his surprise. "Not that I'm not pleased, but what about your dad?"

"Dad can at least take care of himself. You apparently can't even do that." Remus said curtly. He flicked his wand at the door and three suitcases entered. "So I'm going to move in, because at least then you won't be by yourself when they come kicking down your door. And at least _someone_ in the house will be able to do a Shield Charm."

Sirius looked sheepish and then a bit indignant. "I didn't ask you for help."

"But you obviously need it." Remus said as he sent two of the suitcases into the bedroom. The other suitcase he opened up and started pulling out winter cloaks and coats, and hung them up in the hall closet. Sirius noticed with some worry that most of them were patched almost the point of not having any original fabric left, and Remus treated them tenderly as though at any moment they would crumble to dust in his hands.

"I know someone else who doesn't ask for help." Sirius said pointedly, and Remus looked embarrassed.

"Yes well... I can't bloody afford half the rent, so I'm not asking you for help but if we end up on the street cause you aren't paying it'll be your fault." Remus said. He looked irritated, and it was at that point that Sirius realized that Remus was more than just irked at the fact that Sirius had been attacked. He circled around the counter as Remus began unpacking the cardboard box.

"You were worried."

Hands that were removing a glass painted with soft red flowers hesitated, and Remus set the glass very delicately on the counter, but without removing his fingers from it. It looked flawless once more, but Sirius knew that more than the glass had been broken when it had fallen.

"I'm more angry than worried." Remus said with a haughty tone to his voice.

Sirius walked over, and gently reached out to try and take the glass from him. He jerked a bit, his fingers snatching the glass away from Sirius' grip. "You don't even drink from that." Sirius said pointedly.

"Shut up." Remus said softly.

"I'll put it away."

"You don't even know where the glasses go. You drink straight from the carton."

"Remus, let me put away the glass."

Remus scowled suddenly, and moved the glass away, going to a cupboard – which Sirius had thought housed the pots and pans – and opening it, tucking the glass securely to one side. He moved it around until it was just barely visible through the glass of the cupboard, where he could see it whenever he walked in the kitchen. Sirius shook his head. He was mental.

"Of course I was worried you stupid, foolish, idiotic-" Remus closed the door with very controlled, quiet sound. His voice had an edge of hysteria to it.

Sirius knew when Remus was very angry. Remus had started out with all the uptight propriety of any well-raised Brit. He kept all he feelings inside, only showing annoyance, indifference, and occasional faint amusement. As the years went by they had seen the deeper emotions of Remus Lupin. Raging anger, wide-awake amusement, and deep, trembling grief. But when he really got angry or sad now, now that he was a grown-up, an adult (though hadn't he always been one?), he bottled it all up again. It felt like Hogwarts all over, and Sirius had stuck fireworks down Peter's pants and Remus was standing outside of the Hospital Wing with his hands folded over his chest.

"I'm okay." Sirius said after a moment, reaching out to touch Remus' arm.

Remus whirled around and his arm flew straight out. Sirius couldn't even move as the expertly-aimed fist struck home on his upper cheek. He flew ass-over-teakettle into the opposite counter, sprawling across the kitchen floor. Remus had always had the most powerful arms that Sirius had ever felt on a person. It was possible Remus could take on Kingsley in hand to hand and come out alive. His sloping shoulders hid a musculature that was hardened and toned.

"Don't you dare think for a _minute_," Despite the uncontrolled anger of the punch, Remus' voice was calm. "that saying that you are okay is going to make it any better. There's no point in closing a barn door after all the animals have already left."

"Moony, please." Sirius was trying to be placating but it only came out as patronizing.

"Shut up!" Remus said sharply. "God damn it Sirius Black, if you are so stupid that you think that the people that love you won't care if you are blasted off the face of the earth-"

He stopped, his face turning red. Sirius didn't speak, didn't move from where he had been thrown on his ass on the floor. The hard edge of Remus' mouth softened in an instant, and he seemed to melt into the counter as he leaned back against it.

"I didn't think I could make it in time." He said quietly. "I thought I was going to walk in and find you already dead. They'd have made you quite the spectacle, the Dark Mark on the walls. You, the once-noble son of the House of Black, taken down a peg or two. I'd see that peaceful look on your face." He swallowed slowly. "I've never seen it before you know. Only remember what they described it as in textbooks. Textbooks as a _reference_, Sirius."

Sirius now got up off the floor. He grabbed Remus, and kissed him tight. Remus resisted, he was still busy being angry, but after a moment Sirius' hands wandered down and Remus sank into him. Sirius sighed as Remus finally gave in, his body twisting against the counter. Sirius' elbow knocked the empty coffeepot off the counter, and didn't even notice. All he knew was the taste of Remus.

A fine layer of dust, hints of chocolate, whatever he ate last (something with citrus?). Something warm and soft and inviting, like a warm fireplace after a brisk winter evening, a cup of hot cocoa that chased away the thrills, a huge sandwich after a day of blistering hard work, or a tight embrace after a long time apart.

When they pulled apart again, Remus laughed weakly. "You moron. I hate it when you do that."

"How about when I touch here?" Sirius stroked one finger down the soft velvety spot behind Remus' ear, and he was close enough to the other man to feel him shiver.

"I'm still angry." Remus said, though his tone was now sensuous.

"I know. Come and channel some of that anger for me." Sirius said, his voice almost a purr as Remus stroked his hand across the small of his back, in that one spot.

[][][][][][]

"Halloween, a time of change and power and happiness. And pie. Oh Merlin, a time of pie." James said, patting his stomach comfortably while stretching out on the sofa.

"You are going to be so fat by the time kids come around." Sirius commented. "But heavens above, your Lilypad makes a beautiful pie."

Remus glanced over from the large kitchen of the house in Godric's Hollow. "They've eaten too much."

Lily rolled her eyes, and grabbed a towel. "They always eat way too much. It's a product of boys."

"Why won't you wash the dishes with magic?" Remus said, even though he grabbed a sponge and turned on the faucet, soaping up the dirty plates.

They worked smoothly, a steady rhythm as Remus scrubbed and washed, and Lily dried and put away all the dishes. "I dunno. Habit I guess. I used to do this with Petunia after dinner. She washed, I'd dry. I was little, so I broke dishes a lot, but my parents didn't mind. They wanted me to have a purpose, something to do."

He smiled. "My mother refused to let my dad do the chores with magic. It was simple enough and she thought it made the work seem petty, to just flick a wand and all finished."

Lily nodded, standing on her tiptoes to put the glasses away. "The first time I discovered anything about magic was one of those evenings. I dropped a bowl. It shattered all over the place, and I freaked out because I'd never broken anything into so many pieces. And then a second later the bowl was fixed, just sitting on the floor as though it had never been broken, not even a crack. Petunia was the one to freak out then, she didn't realize what had happened really. Neither of us did."

Remus smiled. "How come Petunia didn't get invited today?"

"She doesn't get Halloween. Most Muggles don't. Apparently in America it's some big deal, but not us British Muggles. Mostly kids who put on masks and try and play tricks on people. Of course I come here and it's some huge celebration." Lily said it all very calmly, but there seemed to be something else in her words. She'd skipped over Petunia so fast, Remus had to suspect it was more than just "not getting" Halloween.

"Truth be told, we didn't do much with it either." Remus admitted. "With my mom being a Muggle it was just easier to not really do anything. There were so many things about magic that really freaked her out. Besides, the traditional Halloween feast that we had tonight was just a tad too expensive for the Lupin family budget. Feast was Christmas only, although we did have a nicer dinner than usual on my birthday."

He smiled as he handed the last plate to Lily. Sirius appeared in the doorway a moment later. "Ah, so casual, the two women of the household cleaning up after a hard day's work." He walked in. "Lovely potatoes _au gratin_ Moony. Though you made Lily do all the rest."

"I don't cook much." Remus said defensively.

"Anymore pie left?" Sirius said, revealing the truth behind his visit to the kitchen.

"You and James managed to finish off the whole blueberry, but I think there are a couple pieces of cherry left." Lily lifted the glass lid over the remainder of the cherry pie, and handed over a fork. "Just finish it. I know you want to."

"Mmm, you know me so well." Sirius grabbed the plate.

She rolled her eyes. "You are the one that's going to be fat."

"Will not."

"You live on take-out and pie! That's no diet." She scolded, and prodded him in the chest.

"Cut it out Evans." It was his turn to roll his eyes, before digging the fork into the pie ravenously. "I've already had two mothers in this lifetime, and Remus is fixing to be the third, so I don't need you putting your two cents in."

Remus gave him a look, and he cast him a sideways, almost invisible, grin. Lily turned back to start wiping down the counters with her now-damp towel, rolling her eyes. Sirius left back for the living room and James – a much more relaxed conversationalist.

"Sorry about Sirius." Remus said with a smile at her. "He's always a bit edgy about being bossed around. Doesn't even like when I do it."

"He listens to you a lot more than to anyone else. Even James." She pointed out. Remus resisted the urge to blush.

"Yeah, well, I still couldn't get him to do anything about him moving out of that apartment. Just added my own spells on top of James. I swear the whole place is wired like a bomb about to go off."

Lily tittered. "Oh, it's so funny to hear terms like that after 7 years at Hogwarts."

"Can't help myself. Went to a Muggle school for a couple years there."

"Sometimes I think I picked the wrong Marauder, Remus." Lily said. There was a light cadence to her voice, almost as though she were probing gently into Remus' love life with that innocent statement.

"James is the better man. I'm just the smarter one." Remus said.

"Smarter still won't ever explain to me how you ended up with them." One thumb pointed in the direction of the living room, where laughter could be heard.

As a unit they picked the tablecloth up off the table, and bundled it together. Lily threw it and the napkins in the wash, and then started wiping down the wood table underneath.

"I dunno. I mean they drove me crazy, that was for sure." Remus said, attempting to answer the question. To occupy his hands he grabbed a broom and started sweeping out all the crumbs of food from underneath the table. "But it was kind of like having membership into an exclusive club. And I really didn't have any other friends at all. I never was good at making friends. James and Sirius sort of roped me into it, and to be perfectly honest I never had much choice."

"Well, I can see James and Sirius not giving you an option not to be a Marauder. Especially Sirius." She said with a feisty smirk.

"I mean, it was like that at first. Taken on whirlwind adventures through the dark corridors, causing strife and trouble." He chuckled weakly. "I didn't like it much back then. A lot of the time I asked myself that same question. 'What am I doing here?' But then after a while, well... I had a lot of fun."

"Really? Doesn't seem to me your kind of humor. Never has."

"It wasn't. It still isn't I suppose. But I wasn't really having fun with the pranks. Oh, they were clever enough, sometimes utterly brilliant, but I wasn't in it for the trouble-making. It was James and Sirius and Peter, to be perfectly honest. They treated me like a brother, better than just a friend. Even when I was a stuffed shirt, or the first couple times I didn't know how to lie to McWhi - McGonagall. They just sort of ignored my various gaping faults, and they clapped me on the back when it was over, and it was fun." He leaned over the table to give Lily a conspiring grin. "Don't tell them. I don't like giving them the satisfaction of knowing they corrupted my innocent youth."

She laughed, and James appeared in the doorway. "Oy, did you give Sirius the last of the pie?"

Lily threw the towel at him. "I made a secret one just for the two of us to have later. It's triple berry."

He grinned. "I love you."

"You've got no other choice." Lily said, hands on her hips, and James moved away from the door back to the living room, and she rolled her eyes. "_Boys_."

"Can't live with them." Remus said, adjusting the chairs into their proper places.

"Can't live without them." Lily agreed, toying with a stray piece of scarlet hair.

[][][][][][]

"Don't lay on my stomach like that, I'll explode." James bemoaned as Lily crawled onto the couch next to him. She reached over to turn on the radio, and then adjusted herself on the sofa so that she was not squishing his over-laden stomach.

"You know Remus moved in with Sirius after he nearly got himself killed?"

"Eh. Sirius told me as much. But you should have seen 'em before." James was half-asleep, his long limbs taking up a large portion of the cushions. She prodded his feet off the end, and he moved them to the ottoman obligingly. "Remus was practically living there. Visiting him all the time. And you know..." He paused to yawn. "He doesn't visit us nearly as often. And you and him are like gal pals."

"Remus is perfectly manly, you know." Lily said lightly. "And anyway, it's not like you go visit Sirius as often as you should. And I don't think one of us has gone to visit Peter. All we do anymore is invite him to our homes and then he didn't even come to our Halloween party."

"I visit Sirius plenty. I've just been busy lately."

"You don't even have a job, James. And I know the Prewetts and Caradoc haven't actually given you any special 'missions'. But that's not the point. The point is, those two are together quite an awful lot lately. Attached at the hip as it were."

James blinked, too tired to make the connection Lily was implying, but not tired enough to ignore what was very clearly out in front of his face. "You think Sirius and Remus...?"

"Well why not?"

"Well first off, this is _Sirius_ we're talking about. New-girl-every-week Sirius, tried to buy me a prostitute for my eighteenth birthday – I refused, don't get that look on your face – not to mention how he goes on and on about his latest catch. And then Remus – well... actually I've always suspected. He gets along with you girls too well for one thing."

"Maybe that's just because Remus isn't a warthog-faced buffoon." Lily said with a hint of indignation. "I think Sirius hasn't always... but I noticed in 7th year while we were off doing Head Boy and Girl stuff that left Sirius and Remus and Peter, and Peter was often left by himself so Remus and Sirius might have... not to mention I never saw Sirius snogging anymore girls while on patrol, and even though he brags about his latest girlfriends have we ever seen them? He mentioned last month about having gone on a date with a Miss Witch April from the Witchiest Calendar, and you know he'd parade her around in front of you like a trophy, say something like 'if only you'd not stopped at the redhead you could have this too'."

"Lily, you know I would never."

"We're talking about Sirius." She said dismissively. "And it's true, you know it. I know him just as well as you do even if we aren't the best of chums."

James contorted his face in a grimace. "Yes, I suppose you're right. I didn't believe the bit with the Miss Witch April anyway, I saw that calendar – It was only an idle look while I was picking up a Daily Prophet, I swear! – and even Sirius bloody Black couldn't get that girl to date him."

Lily sighed and raised both of her hands up. She put down all her fingers except the index finger on each hand. She wiggled one finger. "This is the point James." She moved the other hand and finger as far away from the "point" as possible with her arm span. "And this is you."

He sighed. "You know what I mean."

"You're avoiding the subject. You don't want to think of your two very best and very male friends having any sort of relationship."

"Ugh... can we not use the word relationship? This is all just speculation anyway, and this is gross to think about."

"For God's sake. I keep forgetting how backwards the wizarding world is. Stuck in the medieval era, all of you." Lily said in annoyance. "It's _nineteen_ seventy-eight, not nine seventy-eight!"

James fidgeted again, she frowned. "I know! I know... I'm not... I mean... they'd still be my best mates, I just... don't want them discussing it or looking at each other or generally doing any of that... in front of me. Or near me. Or in the same building as me."

"Ugh, _James_."

"Well I'm bloody sorry! It's just weird!" James said, his eyes shifting from her to the fireplace to the door, as though he were contemplating escape. To prevent that, she sat on his knees.

"Listen. Just as you said, it's speculation. Remus and Sirius obviously have very good reasons for not telling their best friend in the whole world why they are involved, if they really are, and we should respect that." She smiled and patted his calf softly. "They are kind of cute if you think about it."

"I'm _not_ thinking about it." James said with a groan. Unable to escape, he simply grabbed a pillow and placed it on top of his head, hiding from view. Lily bit back a giggle and climbed off him, more because his knobby knees poked her behind then because she was annoyed with him. By the time Remus and Sirius admitted themselves, she would have James congratulating them and patting them on the back, not hiding under pillows.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: The first real skirmish against the Death Eaters. Ended up kind of lame because I wanted to focus more on the aftermath of it than the actual duels. Not to worry, many actual battles to come. Let's see how well I can write them. ;; Never done actual war scenes before. Oh, and the first chapter in a while that has almost hit 5000 words again. I've been hovering around 3500 for several chapters now. xD

Anyway, this chapter is going up early because I'm not sure if I'll be able to get you guys another chapter before Monday. I've got big plans for this weekend, and they might keep me away from my computer. So you get an early chapter to make up for it. Also Monday's chapter might be a really long one.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My stalwart reviewers: _My email inbox is just simply full of all your thoughts and opinions and feelings. Please keep sharing. I'm an attention whore and will get pouty if you don't. xDD_  
_


	45. Chapter 45: No Escape From Reality

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: November, 1978. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Great party, Pettigrew." Adrian said as he waved his wand at the mess of papers and things.

"Yeah... uh... it was okay." Peter said, flicking his wand at some candy wrappers. They shifted feebly. He scowled and flicked his wand harder, they flew at his mother's canary in the corner and caused him to start to freak, squawking and flapping his wings wildly. "It was a lot more people than I expected."

"Oh, you know how it goes. You invite one extra person who invites two extra people, who each invite some people. But still, it was fun." Adrian looked at him curiously. "What's wrong? You didn't seem to have a lot of fun."

"Oh." Peter said, quickly smiling. "No, I had fun. It was fun. I'm just... not so good around people. Plus I guess I'm a bit worried."

"Hmm. About what?" Adrian reached in the cage to calm the bird with his fingers, and then continued cleaning with his wand. Peter started folding up the tablecloth by hand, shrugging.

"This... thing." He said, unable to describe his troubles because of the Fidelius Charm over the Order. He wanted to though. He wanted to share things with Adrian. Adrian had become his best friend over the past few months. He invited Peter places, he listened to Peter, and although sometimes his Ravenclaw mind flew right over Peter's head, he was interesting and sometimes funny and his friends had accepted him right off. No vetting period, no requirements, no nothing. He had been their friend from the moment they were introduced.

"Thing? Thing you won't talk about?"

"Thing I _can't_ talk about." Peter corrected. Adrian's eyebrows rose.

"Does it have anything to do with a particular headmaster of Hogwarts?"

"Yes, yes it does." Peter said, happy to be able to confirm this information.

"Well, I'm surprised, Pete. I didn't think you'd still be sticking with your pals Potter and Black after what they've been doing to you. We've heard rumors of... something associated with Dumbledore. My friends and I. Are you a very important part of this _something_?"

"Supposedly." Peter said, a bit of a mournful tone in his voice. He hurried up his cleaning, knowing his mother would be returning from her soirée across town any time now. "I'm to gather information at the Ministry. But I just clean up. I don't know anything about all the important stuff. That's better left for the Aurors."

Adrian walked over. "You've got a little something on the back of your neck, Peter. I think Goyle caught you with that Blackening Charm he was throwing around."

Peter clapped a hand on the back of his neck self-consciously. Adrian smiled. "Don't worry, I'll get it for you. I know the counter-curse." He tapped Peter's head lightly. "_Consequi_. There, all gone."

"Fantastic. Thanks a bunch, Adrian. You're a great friend." Peter smiled brightly at the former Ravenclaw, who smirked.

"Not a problem, Pete. You're a great friend too."

[][][][][][]

"The meeting is scheduled tonight. In thirty minutes you will receive your Portkeys. They will activate after another thirty minutes have passed. At that time you will arrive at the meeting place." The phoenix spoke with Dumbledore's voice, and Remus and Sirius looked at each other pointedly.

"Here's my question." Sirius asked curiously. "How does he know we're living together?"

"Maybe he doesn't, but his Patronus does? Kind of like owls I expect." Remus suggested. "You know, tell an owl to find someone and it does."

"Speaking of owls, whatever happened to Icarus?"

"Had to leave him with dad. Petrova died, and he had no owl. I don't use them anymore anyway. It's not very safe." Remus said lightly.

"Where do you suppose the meeting is?"

"Changes every time. No way to know."

"D'you think James would tell us if it was in his place?"

"Doubt it." Remus snapped his book shut. "I'm going to change."

"Ah, don't change too much, I like you just how you are." Sirius ducked as Remus attempted to hit him upside the head with the book, and watched as he went to the dresser to pull out a pair of slacks. The trousers had a hole in the inseam, Remus fingered it and sighed, grabbing his wand from the nightstand and tapping them. Thin thread appeared from the end of his wand and neatly sewed up the hole. It would be almost invisible when Remus put them on.

"You should change too. Showing up in your flannel plaid pants might not make a good impression with Moody."

"Why won't you let me buy you some new clothes?" Sirius questioned.

Remus turned red. "I don't _need_ new clothes. And if I did, I'd buy them myself."

"You don't earn nearly enough at that stupid little library job of yours." Sirius said darkly. "You deserve better."

"I took the paycut voluntarily. And the hourly cut. Once the assistant director found out... well I'm lucky I wasn't fired outright."

Sirius contemplated buying a local bookstore, and hiring Remus, and not telling him that it was Sirius who was giving him his paychecks. Remus would love working in a bookstore. It was like Honeyduke's for the werewolf. "It's not fair."

"It's life. Life as a werewolf anyway." Remus said. He had a sad smile on his face, but Sirius could see the tension in his jaw, and the request in his eyes to please drop the topic.

"Let me buy you some clothes." Sirius said softly, almost pleadingly.

He winced. "I don't-"

"For _Christmas_." Sirius insisted. "And a new winter coat. Just this once. I'll let you pick everything out, I'll wrap it up and I won't give it to you until Christmas. It'll be just like your birthday when you picked out the presents for everyone and I wrapped them."

Remus was chewing on his lower lip as he sorted through his jumpers, trying to find one that wasn't as worn as all the rest. They really were though. He eventually pulled out a warm navy blue one that was only a couple years old. Since his mum had died he hadn't gotten any new clothes at all. John Lupin never bothered to do anything but work all day at the Ministry and then come home and sleep. Remus hadn't gotten a letter about his birthday until two weeks after the fact. "I... I guess... a couple new pairs of trousers... and a few jumpers... might be nice. But not a coat."

"A coat." Sirius said sternly.

Remus' chin wobbled, and his shoulders tightened. Sirius waited patiently, and as predicted, they softened once more, and the sandy-haired man sighed and conceded with a nod. "A coat."

"Great. After this meeting we'll go down Diagon Alley and head to Madam Malkins'. You'll have some new robes and trousers and jumpers and all will be well." Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus' shoulders.

Remus sighed. Sirius kissed his cheek and jerked back as Fawkes the phoenix flew through the window. "Hello there."

The phoenix gracefully dropped a dirty, empty can of beans at their feet, then squawked and vanished out the window again. Remus stared at the can, then at his watch. "Thirty minutes. Get changed, and comb your hair. I'm going to have to cut it again soon enough."

"Prissy much? It's just the Order."

"The Order that made you a member despite your lack of defensive skills." Remus said haughtily, running his fingers through his hair and grabbing a pair of frequently darned socks.

"Touché my friend, touché."

[][][][][][]

"Frank and Alice's?" James said as he appeared with a spin alongside Lily. They both dropped the length of old rope that had been their Portkey, and stepped toward the familiar house.

"How do you know?"

"I visited them on Dumbledore's orders to ask a few questions. He was too busy to go himself and it needed someone there, no owls or Floo." James explained as he walked up the cobblestone path.

"Well thanks for telling _me_."

"Oy. That was more dizzying than usual." Remus said as he and Sirius landed only a few feet from where Lily and James were heading for the front door. Peter suddenly appeared only a few moments later.

"Come on, we've all waited outside long enough."

At the door they all did their usual bit with Moody. This was their third meeting and therefore they all had the routine down. Moody let them in, and they all walked into the living room. Frank and Alice greeted them brightly, James especially. James collapsed into a comfortable chair and they all relaxed, drinking tea and eating the biscuits that Alice lay out on the table.

Dumbledore arrived just before the last few stragglers. This was the smallest meeting they'd had yet. Moody, Emmeline Vance, James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Dumbledore, Frank and Alice, and Benjy Fenwick, someone whom Sirius hadn't met until this very meeting. Usually they had up to twenty people all grouped together, so the living room felt a bit empty as James observed the gathered.

"Fabian and Gideon are picking up a trail on a possible encampment in Northern Ireland of Death Eaters. They might be using Celtic magic to protect themselves." Dumbledore explained.

"What do you mean _Celtic_ magic?"

"Why James, didn't you ever pay attention in History of Magic?" James looked away from the piercing blue eyes, even if Dumbledore was only joking. "There are ancient branches of magic in the world. In America, they have the power of the Native Americans, spirit animals and the earth which speaks to them. In Australia, they have the Aboriginals, with ancient and sometimes dark magic. In India, they have Hindi magic, which is just as dark as the darkest magic or just as light as the lightest depending upon how it is used. In Europe we have the Celts. Gaelic spells and rituals and sacrifice. You can feel the power of these places. Everyone knows that Stonehenge is a great conductor of magic, bringing in Astronomy and Arithmancy and many other components. In Ireland and Britain and even Scotland, the Death Eaters can find those places, circles of magic, places where magic runs so deep you don't even need a drop of magic in your blood to be able to feel it down to your core."

Everyone listened quietly. Dumbledore exhaled. "With that said, there is a good chance that many Death Eaters will use the natural magic of these locations to try and protect themselves from harm and from us. Voldemort _also_ believes in the essential power of these locations. He will deliberately go to them in order to use their power to accentuate his own." James and everyone else in the room nodded. "Fabian, Gideon, and Caradoc are all looking for these locations. Call it scouting. When they receive any kind of actual information, they will be calling upon their reserve squad, that's James and Sirius, along with Remus just in case. If they have need of more back-up, they have instructions of who to call from what we all refer to as the 'Periphery'. They are members who are not aware of the actual name of the Order, nor of any of the official members sitting in this room. The only people they know are myself and one or two others that they have contact with. But they are willing fighters and will assist us if a situation warrants it."

James felt rather like he was receiving too much information. He could barely process it all. Dumbledore had always been a man of riddles. James wondered just how important this information had to be that despite his own nature Dumbledore was giving it up freely and without any euphemisms or roundabout turns of phrase.

"In any case, we believe they are safe for now. Caradoc and Fabian have been checking in with me regularly, all seems to be well." He folded his hands in his lap, thin fingers curling together intricately. "This meeting is smaller than most. As such we will only go over the information from Alastor and the rest of the Auror Department."

"Aye. Shacklebolt is investigating a series of Muggle deaths. He seems to be the best in the department at blendin' in." Moody said. His haggard appearance and battle-torn clothing were off-set by the delicate way that he sipped from his mug of tea.

"That's ironic." Sirius commented, and all of the younger people sitting in the living room chuckled. Kingsley stuck out even among wizards.

Dumbledore did appear slightly amused. "Indeed. He has many skills. Well with that, why don't we get reports from the rest of yo-"

**KABOOM**!

[][][][][][]

Sirius couldn't hear anything. Well that wasn't completely true. He could hear one sound. One, all-encompassing sound. The _ringing_. The sound of an explosion so powerful it rattled his head, his heart, and it made all the bones in his body ache.

Everyone moved. Everyone had moved all at once, and now he didn't even know where anyone was. There were spots in his eyes to accompany the ringing. He still couldn't hear anything, but the spots cleared up quickly so he could see.

The seat where Benjy Fenwick and Emmeline had been sitting had taken the brunt of the explosion that had decimated the roof and one corner of the house. Benjy was nowhere in sight. Emmeline was bleeding. Bleeding so very badly that Sirius was sure he might throw up. Lily had run to her, and was dragging her away. Most of her left arm was gone, and her side filled with pieces of the house. But she was breathing, her bright eyes looking around in fear and confusion, glazed with pain. Pain that Sirius couldn't understand, and didn't ever want to.

Lily looked at him, she was speaking, yelling really. Her hair was wild and covered with soot from the fireplace. A fierce November wind blew through the gaping hole in the house. He turned his head again, not able to hear Lily, nor did he have the ability to make out what her lips were mouthing.

James was up and running already, but his right arm was held close to his chest, his wrist was hanging crooked, hanging very wrong. His best mate of almost eight years grabbed him, and Sirius jerked. All of a sudden, as if James had hit some kind of on switch, the ringing had stopped and he could hear again.

He was assaulted with noise. The soft woosh of spells overhead. The younger members of the Order yelling spells. Dumbledore and Moody were throwing hexes nonverbally. Despite Emmeline's normal calm, and almost icy, exterior, she was screaming, and Lily was murmuring words of comfort. More yelling from above them.

Half-a-dozen black-hooded figures circled around the house on broomstick. On the ground four more were climbing into the house through the hole. Two burst through the front door, which had already been upset by the shock of the explosion.

He didn't even have his wand in hand! He scrambled to find it, his hands groping in his pocket. He extracted a piece of wood no longer than two inches, looking at the splintered and cracked end in horror. When he'd been thrown to the ground he must have landed right on it. It was broken. He had no wand and they were all about to be killed.

"_PROTEGO_." The voice roared so close to him that Sirius fell over again, but it wasn't before he saw a red jet of stunning light bounce off a shimmering shield in front of him. James looked at him pointedly, and Sirius held up the crushed portion of his wand. Wide-eyed, James grabbed his arm. "Stick close to me then!"

Suddenly one of the black-robed figures flew down at the two men. James pointed his wand at him, but before he could even think of a spell a huge jet of blue light hit the Death Eater so hard that he flew from the broom, slamming hard into the ground. They turned their heads slightly to see Dumbledore already turning back around to fling another spell towards one of the ones coming in the door. The Stunner's red light hit the figure in the chest so hard that he was slammed into an opposite wall.

Frank and Alice were standing back to back. Alice shouted spells while Frank flicked his wand wordlessly. Three Death Eaters were circling over them, shooting down spells, and a fourth was walking in their direction. "_Locomotor Mortis_!" One of them shrieked in a female voice, and Sirius could have sworn it was the voice of Bellatrix Black.

Only belatedly did Sirius realize he couldn't see Peter anywhere. Either he had been destroyed in the explosion like Benjy had, or he had run, or he was hiding. Sirius didn't know which to believe.

"James!" Lily was shrieking at them. "Emmeline needs help!"

Remus appeared from nowhere at her side. He seemed to have grown a foot taller. Blood was oozing down the side of his face, and peppered one arm of his shirt, but he was ignoring it as though it were nothing. He flicked his wand into the air above where Lily was trying to stop the bleeding of Emmeline's wounds. "_Impedimenta_!" The spell missed the flying Death Eater, who swooped back up to avoid it before coming down for another go. "I'll get her to St. Mungo's." Remus said, before attempting the spell a second time. "And I'll return." He wrapped an arm around Emmeline, who had finally fallen unconscious.

However, then something happened before Remus could even start to make the spin to Disapparate. The entire building seemed to grow cold, as though someone were sucking all the life out of it. Icy blackness clung to the room. Sirius at first assumed that dementors were coming. But that was impossible, they worked for Azkaban.

Then he realized why it had gotten cold. The icy wind that blowing through was ten times as powerful, and Sirius recognized it must be magic causing it. There, coming through the hole in the wall. A figure in black robes just like the others. But this person was nothing like the others, if a person he could even be called.

The hood of his robe was down, and his milky white skin stood out among the smoke and light from spells. Moody immediately shot a curse at him, but Voldemort didn't even speak as he parried the spell with his wand like it was nothing. His bright red eyes were fixed on Dumbledore, narrowed into slits, the extremely dilated pupils focused as though the elderly wizard was the only one in the room. Behind him, at least a dozen more Death Eaters had arrived as well.

James stood straight, hatred flashing in his eyes. "_Petrificus Totalus_!"

The hex made Voldemort actually laugh as he paused to block it. "Foolish little boy." He hissed. A jet of green light issued from his wand. A light that would not be blocked by any Shield Charm, no matter how good James was at them. Sirius stared, feeling sure he was about to watch his best friend die.

"No!" Screamed Lily, and so fast Sirius didn't know what had happened until several hours later, she shot a spell at James. He was forced to the side, and the light whizzed over him harmlessly, sizzling as it hit the half-destroyed wall of the kitchen.

Voldemort turned to her. "I am not here for you, Mudblood!"

"No, you aren't. You are here for me, are you not?" Dumbledore said, and Voldemort's attention returned to his prime target.

Just as his eyes returned to the bearded wizard, Dumbledore flicked his wand in a long line down through the air. A flash of white appeared, then a full bolt of pure lightning, which headed straight for Voldemort. Everyone seemed to stop as the two wizards began fighting. The Death Eaters formed a perimeter along the edges, the Order members gathered inside. Lily was still frantically trying to stabilize Emmeline, who was turning a sickly grey. Remus was beside her, murmuring encouragement and suggestions of healing spells.

Jets of light shot between the two powerful wizards. Dumbledore blocked a shower of dagger-like icicles with a ball of bright blue flame from his wand. Voldemort caused the dust and debris to fly up to block _him_ from the fire. Dumbledore summoned a wind that blew the dust away. It seemed they were perfectly matched.

With a great crack Kingsley Shackbolt appeared in the middle of the room. Without even seeming to realize what was going on between Voldemort and Dumbledore, he pointed his wand at a Death Eater. The red light caused the figure to crumble.

Just like that, the floodgates opened again. Voldemort and Dumbledore were still fighting, great feats of magic that were truly a sight to behold, but the rest of the group seemed to split off into duels. More cracks as more people Apparated into the destroyed house. Caradoc Dearborn, shooting spells left and right. Fabian and Gideon, looked bedraggled as though they had been sleeping under bushes for weeks, but still firing off curses without a second thought. Elphias Doge, and a woman Sirius recognized as Dorcas Meadows, assistant to the Minister of Magic. Seconds after that, Professor McGonagall herself arrived, her arm clinging to Hagrid. She whipped her wand at a Death Eater and the robes collapsed. Several seconds later, a small white mouse crawled out of the fray, and she pointed her wand at it a second time. The pile of robes folded up around the creature and transformed into a black cage.

"Miss Evans!" She cried, as Lily lifted up Emmeline and attempted to move her farther from the scene of battle. "I will take Emmeline."

With that, McGonagall flicked her wand, levitating the injured witch, and then they both disappeared in a crack, the cage coming along as well. Lily, covered in blood, staggered to her feet. James ran to her side, Sirius in tow. Remus was helping her back onto her feet, and as a unit the four of them turned around. Sirius remained on the inside of the three, protected because of his inability to do magic. Never had he felt so useless. Lily pointed her wand at James' wrist, and a dozen bandages flew from the tip of it, wrapping tightly around the clearly broken extremity. James looked at her gratefully and then pointed his wand above them, using another Shield Charm to cover all four of them in a bubble.

Remus shouted a spell, but it wasn't even in Latin. It sounded more like French to Sirius' ears. A hundred tiny vines covered in thorns shot out of the tip of his wand and their target screamed as the vines gripped him hard and squeezed like a snake coiling around its victim.

"_Sectumsempra_!"

Remus whipped around and pointed his wand in the direction of the spell. They immediately saw Kingsley collapse as slashes appeared over his body, causing him to cry out in surprise and fall backwards. "Snape!" Remus shouted, a surprising amount of hate in his voice for the stalwart werewolf. But it was impossible to tell just which of the masks and robes could be hiding their former classmate.

Hagrid wasn't so much using his magic – the pink umbrella everyone knew held the illegally taped-together portions of his childhood wand – as he was using his great dinner plate-sized hands to bowl people over. Two Death Eaters went flying back through the hole in the house as he smacked them.

Fabian and Gideon had some kind of tag-team going on. Back to back like Frank and Alice they would spin. One seemed to be using Shield Charms, the other curses. It was fluid, as though they were yelling orders at each other mentally somehow.

"To me!" Voldemort suddenly shrieked. His white skin was gleaming with sweat.

The Death Eaters all stopped what they were doing. It enabled James to force one of them to collapse under a Stunner, but the rest moved towards Voldemort quickly, now only using their magic defensively. The Order members seemed to instinctively shift toward Dumbledore, no orders needed, and soon the sides of the house were separated.

"I _will_ kill you, Dumbledore!" Voldemort shouted. Dumbledore said nothing, and the collapsing house walls seemed to inhale one final breath.

Then, with a joint crack that filled the air like a hail of gunfire, the Death Eaters vanished. Lily let out a sob and collapsed against James, who caught her with his bad arm despite the obvious pain it caused him. Remus was panting, his chest heaving. Sirius had never wanted to hold him as much as he did in that moment.

Just as suddenly, Sirius felt a rush of pain. Perhaps it had been the adrenaline, perhaps it had been the fact that he hadn't been paying attention to himself, but he finally felt a huge blow of pain in his chest. His bones were moving in a way that bones shouldn't within his ribcage, and his entire forearm was covered in blistering skin. When had he even been hit? He couldn't remember.

"Assessment! Wake the Stunned, take the injured to St. Mungo's immediately! All Death Eaters are to be arrested on the spot." Roared Moody. His one wild eye looked around the room. He hadn't appeared to have any wounds, but now that Sirius was paying attention he saw him dragging his right leg, which was wrapped up tight in the same sort of bandages that Lily had used on James' wrist. Walking on what was clearly a broken limb, Moody limped around to everyone with an almost sickening speed.

Dumbledore was untouched. Hagrid had been Stunned before Voldemort's departure, Moody woke him. Kingsley's bleeding wouldn't stop, Moody spent a few moments waving his wand over him, muttering spells until the cuts had healed just enough for the younger Auror to stand again and Disapparate.

Elphias and Caradoc both had to be taken to the hospital for their wounds. Caradoc's face was bleeding so badly no features could be seen, and it looked as though some creature had been using Elphias' arm as a chew toy. Dorcas went with Caradoc, and Kingsley with Elphias. Fabian and Gideon seemed alright, though one of them was limping a bit as they moved around. Frank had Disapparated almost immediately with Alice, she had been struck on the head and although she was breathing she wouldn't wake. Among the four youngest there, James and Sirius were the only one with any "serious" injuries, though Remus also was ordered to go to St. Mungo's for the cut on his face and the hunks of shrapnel in his arm. Lily went with James, and as soon as Sirius took one last glance around the decimated room, he grabbed Remus' arm as the other Disapparated. He was not sorry to have to leave. Let someone else pick up the pieces.

[][][][][][]

_She_ had been there. Clinging to Potter's arm like they were fused together. He'd seen a flash of red, too orange to be blood, and there she was. Yelling for James. Falling to the side of some woman, dragging her away. She must be in training for Healer, because she immediately set to work on the blond woman, healing her wounds as best she could.

She was so beautiful. In the heat of battle she had kept her head. She was slightly hysterical, slightly panicking, but she had healed the woman as much as she possibly could, called for help, and when Potter and Black and Lupin had all joined her side she had shot off spells with accuracy and focus. Her bright red hair and equally flashing green eyes had been like a beacon in the dust and dirt and darkness of the fight.

He had wanted to go to her. He had wanted to whisk her away. She had cared for him once. Maybe she had even loved him. If he could steal her away, he would quit the Death Eaters. Cut the skin right off his arm and head for Africa, or America, and hide away, and they could be together.

But no, she was with Him now. _Potter_. Wise and brave. Despite his broken wrist he had held her hand, their fingers entwined as he had shot spells with perfect concentration. Both of them had been afraid, but it had barely shown, and they had continued to fight despite that.

That little worm Pettigrew had Disapparated at the first sign of danger. He wouldn't be surprised if the scum had Splinched himself in the process.

No, she would never be his now, as much as it made his heart ache.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well... my first actual battle scene. I thought I did okay with it, I might have gone too overboard with describing everything. I wanted you all to know what everyone was doing and what happened to them, so you wouldn't be all "but what about _? what happened to them?" In any case, I promise to improve by the time the next one comes around.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My stalwart reviewers: _Like my own cheer squad. Your reviews always perk me up._  
_


	46. Chapter 46: Lonely Moments

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: December, 1978. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Remus, be gentle!"

"Stop complaining. I'm not hurting you."

"It stings like hell. This isn't fair!"

"You should have been paying more attention."

Sirius sighed in exasperation as Remus reapplied the burn gel. He really was just complaining. The gel that the nurse had given to Sirius to apply to his arm for the next three days numbed the entire area. Already the blistered skin was merely raw and red, no more blood or peeling skin. Remus had taken it upon himself to rub it into the skin, and although the gel did cause a tingling sensation before the skin went numb, Remus was doing a fine job of not hurting him.

Remus' brow was furrowed in concentration. On the side of his face was a smear of antiseptic cream for the cut on his head, which was almost healed over already. The stark white cream stood out against Remus' skin. Sirius wanted to wipe it off, but Remus would get angry.

James and Sirius had both taken hefty doses of Skele-Grow for their broken bones, and Sirius could already feel that uncomfortable, mildly painful feeling of the bones in his chest shifting to their proper positions to knit back together.

Dumbledore had come to see him at the hospital while the nurse had been diligently wrapping up the bandage and ignoring Sirius' flirtatious looks and turns of phrase. Sirius would always remember the darkness in those bright blue eyes. Dumbledore was tired, and worried, and working on putting all the pieces together, but most of all, underneath the surface, the headmaster was angry.

Sirius had never seen Dumbledore angry. Never known that he had the ability to be. Even that time that Sirius had broken three stained glass windows – each over five hundred years old – while shooting off fireworks in a corridor, Dumbledore had a bemused smile and a twinkle behind the half-moon glasses that clearly stated that he was secretly amused. No prank, no slurs, no delinquency, nothing had ever made him angry, not even mildly. Dumbledore was disappointed sometimes, to be sure. And that did make Sirius feel guilty on occasion. But the majority of the time Dumbledore himself had been fighting down laughter. And when referring to Voldemort, Dumbledore had the same disappointment, as though the dark wizard was a student pulling pranks in the dead of night.

"There, all finished with the gel.."

Sirius blinked as he looked over at Remus. He'd forgotten to complain when thinking about the conversation with Dumbledore. "Ugh, finally."

"Hmph." Remus said quietly.

Remus was being mousy again. Sirius had thought that he was doing a fine job of pulling the other out of his shell. It had taken almost eight years, but the Remus of today was nothing like his eleven year old self. Confident, wise, caring, this Remus was almost a normal human being, barring the fascination with books and the occasional foray into Nerd-dom. However, when Remus was thinking too much, or upset, or otherwise feeling off-kilter, he reverted back to a small, quite boy, his head in the clouds and a book in his hands.

Sirius grabbed Remus' arm. "You're thinking."

A slow smile crawled over his lover's lips. "I probably am."

"What did Dumbly tell you?" Sirius asked, rubbing Remus' knuckles.

"I think the same thing he said to you. They couldn't find more than a few pieces of Benjy, Emmeline was stabilized but would be recovering for weeks, maybe months. Kingsley and Caradoc are fine but they lost a lot of blood. And everyone else will be back in action before the end of the week. He also went on about his protections and that no one should have been able to find them, and he suspects one of the Portkeys somehow got a Tracking Spell placed on them." Remus recited it all clinically, almost painlessly, and Sirius frowned worriedly.

"Remus... I volunteered to take Caradoc's place for a while. Hunting down campsites in Ireland and Scotland. There's also Avalon to visit in Cumbria, Avebury, couple gravesites, things like that."

Remus pursed his lips. Sirius had expected him to jump all over the announcement, tell Sirius he couldn't go, that it wasn't safe. Instead Remus seemed calm as he grabbed the roll of bandage and started wrapping up Sirius' arm. "Why isn't James going?"

"Well... I volunteered first. James is getting married to Lily after Christmas, I thought they deserved to spend some time together, make plans, things like that."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I'll be home for Christmas, Dumbledore promised."

The sandy-haired man pressed his lips into a thin line. Sirius examined him calmly, but Remus seemed to be taking the news surprisingly well. His hands didn't even lose their grip on the bandages, and he gently applied the bit of tape at the end.

"I'm leaving in a week." Sirius supplied. "So three weeks and Caradoc will be back on his feet and I'll come back here just in time for pudding and pie and cake at James' and Lily's."

"What about money?" Remus said in concern.

"Dumbledore is going to give me a little bit, and he said I can take some with me. I think tomorrow we should go get your new clothes, and wrap them up, and then I'll withdraw some extra for you here at home and take a few Galleons with me."

Sirius didn't like Remus' expression. There was a great mystery behind it. Like Remus was letting Sirius go so that someday when Remus had to go Sirius would have to accept it. He cupped Remus' elbow with his good arm, and pulled him close. Remus didn't resist, only sighing a bit and resting his head on Sirius' shoulder. "Do be careful."

"When am I not?" Sirius said, smiling and kissing Remus' temple. That brief kiss turned into more as Remus pushed against him, and Sirius rested his thumb on the bottom of the scar that graced Remus' cheek.

Did Dumbledore say more than just what Remus said he had said? The concept was mildly terrifying. Then again, it might have been the post-battle adrenaline that he was still experiencing.

[][][][][][]

"Remus isn't here anymore." John Lupin peered at the wall of young man blocking his doorway. Peter stared in confusion, then looked nervous.

"Sorry Mr. Lupin... I thought... I thought he'd be here."

"Well he doesn't live here anymore." Remus' father looked neutral as he said this, as though he didn't care whether or not his only remaining family even came to visit.

Peter felt lost. "Doesn't live here?"

"I thought you'd know. He moved in with Sirius over a month ago."

"Oh." Why hadn't they told him?

"Of course at this time of day he's working. If you'll excuse me, I'm only home for lunch."

"Sorry." Peter stepped back as John closed the door, and he turned, closing his eyes and thought of Diagon Alley.

Ten minutes later he was standing in front of the _Agrippa Library for Magical and Mystical Texts_. The building was not as imposing as Gringott's, but it had its own beauty, made of warm stone and with a column on either side of the door. _Scientia est virtus _was inscribed over the large mahogany door. Peter didn't understand Latin, and probably never would. He walked inside. It smelled of dust and old books, of course. It was lit with hundreds upon hundreds of floating orange orbs, that hung in the air like the floating candles at Hogwarts. He looked over at a table, where a wizard reached up to grab an orb and bring it down closer to the book he was reading. Other than the orbs there was plenty of sunlight from the windows along every wall that went from a few feet off the floor to half-way up the wall.

Along one wall were several stained glass windows with small brass plates underneath them. Peter walked over to read them. "_Cliodne and her healing birds_" was under the image of a beautiful red-haired witch, holding her arms out. Around her hovered three large birds that looked like distorted phoenixes. "_Rowena Ravenclaw_" was underneath the image of a woman with long dark hair, a small crown perched on her head. Her wand was outstretched, light coming from the end, and she looked rather accusingly at Peter, as though saying "_You were too stupid for my house. You're lucky anyone took you at all_." He stopped looking at the windows after that, and walked up to a desk where an ancient witch with stark white hair and tiny _pince nez_ spectacles was writing lightning-fast with a quill.

"Uh, excuse me." He said, standing on tiptoe so that the bottom of his chin was even with the desk, which was quite tall.

She looked up, her quill never stopping its brisk trek across the parchment. "What do you want?"

"Er... I was just wondering if you know where Remus Lupin is? He works here?"

She stiffened slightly, eying him pointedly. "Lupin, Remus. He is working in the Archives today, in the basement. That way, down two flights." The quill paused for only a moment to point at a set of stairs heading down.

Peter didn't bother to thank her in his haste, and hurriedly walked down two flights of stairs, and found himself in front of an aged doorway with a rusting sign hanging down. "Archives" Underneath that was a smaller, newer sign. "Any text over 150 years is moved to the Archives."

Once in the room Peter felt like he might be lost forever. Shelf after shelf. Thankfully there were signs, but they only denoted the age of the texts of a shelf. He walked past "1821-1878" that was the closest shelf to the door, and then he continued forward. He stopped at "1471-1539" and realized he had no idea how long it would take to find Remus in the tens of thousands of books, scrolls, rolls of parchment, and other written works. Remus could be in any century, and there were at least five shelves per century, maybe more.

"Remus?" He called out.

Immediately he heard a loud "SHUSH". He jerked, but couldn't see anyone. Several moments later a familiar face poked his head around the corner. "Peter?"

"Remus?" Peter said, intimidated by the disembodied voice enough to now speak in barely above a whisper.

"What are you doing here?" Remus said. "I was up at the desk."

He motioned to Peter, who followed him only a few feet over, to where a huge sign was visible. "GUIDANCE DESK" it said in bright red letters, and Peter felt rather foolish. Remus returned to his seat, smiling.

"What can I do for you?"

"Oh, I'm here to visit..." Peter said rather lamely. "Er... I wanted to ask you a question about spells."

"Spells?" Remus said curiously.

"Yes. I heard a spell the other day, I was wondering about what it was."

"What did it do?"

"Nothing I could see..."

"The person might have done it wrong." Remus seemed fascinated, leaning forward on the desk a bit, tapping his nose in thought. "What was the incantation?"

"Er... I can't really remember. It was something like Cons... Cons something."

"Cons..." Remus murmured. He flicked his wand out, and after a few seconds a large pile of books appeared from somewhere in the room, whizzing from behind Peter to land on the desk. Remus grabbed the largest. "Was it Latin?"

"I... I think? Sounded... sort of Latin..." Peter felt stupid. James or Sirius would have remembered the incantation, and they would have known if it was Latin.

"Recently there's been a huge resurgence of a lot of Germanic spells. Same spells, different incantations. There's no way to know for sure, but I'll assume for now it's in Latin." Remus thumbed through the book. Peter turned his head sideways to read the cover. "1001 Basic Spells of the Modern Era". He winced, thinking this could take a while.

"_Consanesco_? That's a variation on Episkey, a minor healing spell." Remus suggested. "Not in popular usage though."

"Er... it was pretty short... shorter than that..."

"_Conscio_ detects dark magic or spells within a small area. If there weren't any there might not have been any effects." Remus said. "I should definitely remember that one."

"No. That wasn't it."

Remus sighed and slammed the book shut, setting it aside. "Alright, maybe it's an older spell."

He pulled out another, this one obviously hand-written and bound. Peter read the title with wide-eyes. "_A Thorou and Precise Compendeum of Spellwerk fore the Moderne Wisard_."

"_Consera_ is the Attachment Spell. Fuses two things together." Remus looked surprised. "That might be a useful one actually..."

"No... um... I think there was either a _k_ or a _q_ in it. Does that help?"

Remus frowned, looking a bit disappointed. "That might have been useful before."

"Sorry." Peter said, feeling like they were at Hogwarts all over again and Remus had been quizzing him and he'd forgotten the answer. As per usual.

Remus plucked a smaller, newer book, frowning. "The spell could have been made up by the user. In that case I don't think I can help you with the actual spell, but I might be able to find the word."

This book was just a Latin dictionary, and Peter waited patiently as Remus flipped through it. "Er... which ever..."

"Consto? Consuo? Consequor?" Remus was obviously becoming a bit desperate.

"Wait... that last one... that sounds familiar."

"Maybe it's a form of the word. Consequor, Consectus, Consequi-"

"The third one!" Peter said in triumph.

"'Consequor'," Remus said, reading with a bit of a smile, "'To follow, pursue.' Looks like the verb has a connotation of meaning "to follow in a hostile manner", like being hunted down."

A knot formed in the blond's stomach as he heard "hunted down". Why would Adrian put a spell with that connotation on him? They were friends. Surely he had the spell wrong, he didn't remember the incantation correctly, that's all. "Any other meanings?"

"Hmm... 'to follow up, reach, obtain, or get'... 'to follow speech or thought, as with understanding'."

"Ah." Perhaps Adrian was trying to bestow knowledge on Peter? Trying to help him? Yes, Adrian would do something like that. Try and pass along information to Peter. Maybe it had failed, but obviously Adrian was only trying to help.

"It's an interesting incantation." Remus said suspiciously, stacking the books up and tapping them with his wand. They flew away, splitting off as they got to certain shelves. "You might be able to use it to construct a Tracking Spell. One that would be more difficult to detect."

"What?" Peter said. Now he was only doing it to act stupid though.

"Oh, sorry. I know you don't know much about spell building." Remus said with a smile. "I was thinking of studying it for a G.H.O.U.L. if I can get the time. Probably after all this is over."

Peter chuckled weakly as Remus laughed, and then nodded. "Well, I'll just go. I've probably gotten in your way enough."

"Thanks for stopping by." Remus said, smiling brightly. For a moment Peter felt as though Remus was once again one of his best friends. This feeling deflated as he realized that Remus was probably only being polite, plus he was at work so he was supposed to say that to everyone.

"Er... yeah. Thanks for the help."

Remus nodded and went back to sorting through a stack of parchment on his small desk. As Peter climbed up the stairs he wondered briefly why Remus had been shoved down in a small desk in the basement which was probably only frequented by other librarians and old wizards. He shook his head as he left the library, the thoughts quickly leaving his head.

[][][][][][]

"James. I don't want kids."

James looked at Lily with surprise, blinking several times. "You don't?"

"No. I... well... at least not until this is over. I don't want any children until You-Know-Who is dead and gone."

"You need to say the name." James said, almost sternly.

"Sorry, it's just creepy." Lily said in irritation, crossing her arms over her chest. They were sitting in bed. It was dark out, and Lily could see the full moon in the sky hanging low and yellow in the early winter sky. James was adjusting the stations on the wireless, but not finding anything he liked. She had a book in her lap, but she wasn't reading it anymore.

"Why don't you want children?" James finally asked as he flipped off the wireless. She loved the fact that he wasn't afraid to have these difficult conversations. She could only imagine what Sirius did when it came to these sorts of discussions.

"We nearly died."

"Well, it happens. We're at war." James said calmly. He seemed to have taken their first real battle in stride.

She had been so proud of him, seeing him there. In pain and injured and yet he had still held her hand, stood straight and tall, and shot out spells angrily but precisely. He was skilled, and smart, and brave. She had been on the verge of panic. Emmeline wouldn't stop bleeding or screaming, and she hadn't known anything. All that studying and focus and she had blanched for a moment in the face of a real emergency. Then she had looked at James, shielding Sirius, coming straight for her without hesitation, and she had found her own courage as well.

"If we have a baby before this is over... I can't let anything happen to it. Remember the Boneses? You-kn... _Voldemort_ could use him against us. Threaten us with Greyback to get us to cooperate. I don't want to have to choose between the Death Eaters and my child."

He nodded. "Okay."

She stared. "Okay? I thought you'd be more upset."

"Lily..." He sighed, taking her hand. His wrist was healed already, but he still used it gingerly. "I want babies. Tons of them. I don't want them to have that lonely existence that I did. No friends, no other children to play with. I want them to have each other. I want as many of them as you want."

"James-"

"Let me finish. These children are ours. Both of ours. And if you want to wait, we can wait." He smirked. "Let's just not wait as long as my parents did, huh?"

She sighed. "You know I want your kids. I want little ones blind as bats with big glasses and knobby knees-"

"- and bright green eyes and maybe a redhead or two," James added.

"... and skinny as a rail, with freckles and pale skin." Lily finished, squeezing his hand. "I just can't imagine putting them in danger."

He kissed the tips of her fingers. "Whatever you want to do."

She smiled, and he kept kissing. Her knuckles, the inside of her wrist, up her forearm. Then he shifted, finding the bit of skin at the open collar of her nightgown, up the side of her neck. He stopped to suck on her earlobe teasingly, and then one on her cheek, on her jaw, and then her nose.

Finally she grew impatient, and grabbed the back of his neck with one hand, dragging his lips against her own roughly. He wanted to be gentle and kind, but she wanted him, now. None of the rest mattered.

[][][][][][]

He couldn't sleep. He'd never not been able to sleep. And two days after the full moon all he wanted was sleep.

Now that he was out of school he was back to locking himself up on these occasions. Sirius had charmed the spare bedroom just for him, making the walls soundproof and reinforcing them with three or four different defensive spells. And the dog would join the wolf in the small space. But one Animagus was not equal to three, and Remus woke up with more bruises and broken bones than he could remember ever having in the last few years at school.

He got out of bed completely now. He walked over to the window, and sat on the ledge. The window was wide open, and a cold wind was coming in. Maybe that was the reason. Usually the window stayed open even in this weather because with two bodies in the bed they needed some way to stay cool.

But the bed was only home to one person tonight. That morning Sirius had left for the mission he had volunteered for. The apartment had never been large. In fact, it was a cozy little space, in real estate terms. He bumped into Sirius several times a day while they moved around the place. Especially in the morning when Remus was getting ready for work. With only one sink and one bathroom, the early morning was slightly chaotic feeling. Remus fought for a spot in front of the mirror, while Sirius squeezed in next to him and started to kiss the side of his neck to try and lure him back to bed.

Now the apartment felt two sizes too big. Remus inhaled the early December air one last time before heaving himself up off the windowsill and shutting the glass firmly. It fogged up as he stood there breathing on it, and he exhaled a warm breath, making one pane completely opaque. He lifted one finger and slowly wrote in careful letters "I love you, Sirius". He stared at it for a moment, watching the letters disappear once more as the condensation faded.

Was he angry at Sirius? The other man had asked him that question three times before he left. Remus had assured him that no, he wasn't. But why wasn't he? Sirius had volunteered for an extremely dangerous mission. One he was barely qualified for. Remus had been drilling Shield Charms into Sirius, but what if he came up against something even more difficult? There was no shielding _avada kedavra_. What would he do if Sirius was gone?

It was a thought that had plagued him for a few months now. What was he without Sirius. Of course it wasn't as though he couldn't live without his friend and... whatever else he was. Kissing and sex he could get anywhere he supposed. Sirius was more than that. Remus couldn't put it into words. This distressed the boy who had once read the entire dictionary cover to cover and used to carry a thesaurus in his school bag for personal use. He knew millions of words, he just couldn't use them in conjunction with Sirius. Sirius was worthy of some new combination of words, and Remus was only good at recitation, not creation.

He collapsed back into bed. Very slowly he scooted to the middle of the bed, a space that was usually occupied by the inch or two of open air that they allowed for themselves. It felt a bit weird, and he stared at the ceiling. Closing his eyes, he felt as though he could feel the weight of Sirius next to him, hear his breathing, and smell that particular combination of dog and man that always surrounded him. Remus looked at the empty space next to him and sighed.

It was going to be a long three weeks.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I've noticed a disturbing rise in the number of Peter sections. I'm going to try and tone it down. I mostly just want to portray how I felt that Peter was inducted into this world that he had almost no knowledge of at first.

In any case, back to our regular programming schedule! Enjoy!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _Approaching 300, what a huge deal. Thank you so much for your help in making this project a success._  
_


	47. Chapter 47: That's Amore

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: Christmas, 1978. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

Christmas Eve. The apartment was empty, except for Remus of course, who was standing at the stove and watching the small mechanical timer count down. He pulled the oven mitt over one hand, and peered into the stove sideways.

There was still an _hour_ until the pie was ready. Why the hell was he standing here? Not to mention there was no way that Sirius would be back in time to eat it. It would be cold when he finally arrived. If he even arrived. He had promised to be back before Christmas. Yet here it was, 3pm on Christmas Eve and he was nowhere to be found.

Remus peered into the oven one last time at the blueberry pie he was painstakingly baking. He'd never made pie before in his life. He wasn't a baker. He made salad, and meals, and he could heat things up, but he was not a person who made things from scratch or baked. Thankfully raw pie dough and fillings came from Muggle grocery stores nowadays, so he didn't need to do anything else but pour one into the other and stick it in the oven. He had taken the time to cut out two small shapes from the leftover dough. Two canine shapes. A bit off, of course, but obviously one large wolf-like shape, and a smaller dog-like one.

He walked away from the counter. Waiting in front of the stove for an hour would be totally pointless. He collapsed into the couch, just as the flames in the fireplace suddenly turned emerald green. He bit back a groan as he saw Lily through the fire. Dragging himself up, he sat down in front of the fireplace with a small grunt as she said hello.

"Hello."

"Are you coming tonight?" Lily said happily.

"I'm not quite sure yet. Sirius is still gone, and I might be visiting my dad. He's pretty alone lately, with me not living there anymore." Remus said, looking sideways.

Lily looked disappointed. Out of the corner of the fireplace Remus spotted James kneeling down. "Who are you talking to? I thought we'd agreed not to use Floo anymore."

"I'm only talking to Remus about our Christmas party." Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with chatting about a Christmas party. Would you let us talk for a bit?"

He shrugged and vanished from view. Lily looked over her shoulder for a moment, presumably waiting for James to leave the room. She shifted a bit. "Listen, Remus. You don't have to go everywhere _with_ Sirius."

"What? I'm not." Remus said, slightly confused.

"I know the last few weeks have been hard for you."

"Well er..." Remus felt nervous. "It has been nice to not have clothes covering every piece of furniture. He's a terrible roommate."

"Right. Well, still. If you change your mind, you can just show up. Peter is coming, and Kingsley, and Frank and Alice are still staying here while they look for a new place, and Fabian and Gideon might be coming, they sent an owl saying they weren't sure they could get away from their location safely. It's going to be quite a get-together, of course Moody is too busy and Dumbledore has Hogwarts to take care of. But it will still be really nice."

"I... Yeah, I know. I might come. I might just be late, if that's all right with you."

"Of course it is." Lily said, smiling brightly. "You can arrive whenever you want."

The flames returned to yellow-orange as Remus stood, sighing as he went back to the kitchen. He looked at the stove, trying to will himself not to check on the pie. There were over forty minutes left on his little timer. He needed to leave it alone. He headed for the bookshelf and stared at it, but nothing popped out at him. Eventually he sat down in front of it and started pulling out books, flipping through them. He had nothing better to do.

There was a click in the lock. Remus was up on his feet instantly, his wand pointing at the door. A second later it was open, and a man with long, dark hair was sparkling grey eyes was walking in. Remus paused for just a second.

"Name?" He said, fighting down every urge in his soul to jump forward and tackle Sirius to the ground.

"Sirius Orion Black." Sirius was grinning, and he slowly waggled one eyebrow. "And I'm about to snog you senseless so you'd better put that wand down."

Remus tossed the wand in the direction of the couch, and they embraced. He let out a little laugh as Sirius attempted to grope him shamelessly. In the next second he was spun sideways as Sirius dragged him into a dance. "Sirius!"

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's _amore_." Sirius sang as he pulled Remus around the tiny living room in some strange version of a waltz. "When the stars seem to shine like you've had too much wine, you're in love. Bells a ring, ting a ling a ling, ting a ling a ling, as we say _vita bella_. Hearts will play, tippy tippy tay, tippy tippy tay, like a gay tarantella." He paused to awkwardly dip Remus, looking in his eyes, "Lucky fella..."

He pulled him back up, loosening his grip to spin him out and then twist him back in, this time so that Remus' back was pressed against his chest. Remus felt rather off-kilter, but was enjoying it. Sirius kissed his neck before softening his voice. "When you walk in a dream, but you know you're not dreaming, _signore_... scuza me but you see back in old Napoli, that's _amore_!"

Remus turned again so they were facing each other. "You know I'm pretty sure those aren't even the right lyrics."

"Close enough. Do I smell pie?" Sirius questioned, not looking away from Remus' eyes.

"Blueberry."

"I didn't know you baked."

"I uh... I don't. It was all pre-made at the store."

"I'll eat it anyway. I could eat a horse."

"It still needs a half-hour."

Sirius' eyes flashed and he smiled seductively. "A whole 30 minutes, eh? I'm sure I can think of something for us to do in that period of time."

Remus grinned. "Wouldn't you rather wait for the pie? Plus Lily and James are having a Christmas party you know."

A telltale waggle of his eyebrows said that Sirius most certainly did not want to wait, and Remus allowed himself to be dragged into the bedroom. Lily did say she wouldn't mind him being late.

[][][][][][]

They were good for each other, Lily observed, as she lifted out a pumpkin pie from the oven and set it on the already overflowing table. In the small living room of the house over ten people were gathered. Kingsley, Frank and Alice, Caradoc, Fabian and Gideon, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and James of course, and a few others. They were all the younger members of the Order, everyone else had families to go to on Christmas Eve. Husbands and wives and sons and daughters. These younger witches and wizards only really had each other.

But it was Remus and Sirius that Lily was thinking about at the moment, as she completed the last few preparations for dinner. They were sitting together on the couch near James and Peter. Sirius said something, obviously a rude joke, because James laughed, and Peter blushed but laughed as well, and Remus only smiled bemusedly as though he didn't want Sirius to know that he had indeed found it funny.

Sirius needed someone who could help him concentrate, focus, and slow down. Remus was an expert at concentration. In turn, Remus needed someone to bring him confidence and to help him out of his shell. The Marauders had already done that wonderfully, and now in the past year Lily had seen his self-esteem grow by leaps and bounds. They were perfect for each other. Even more perfect than James and herself. She'd always found her own relationship to be strange. Maybe she was just a glutton for punishment. But Remus and Sirius seemed at ease with one another. No constant quibbling like she always did with James.

She figured it had to be the fact that she was Muggle-born. It was the 70s after all, and she'd seen more than wizards did while on her summer holidays. She had in fact had two very nice Muggle friends that one summer. They'd even taken her to a rally in support of gay rights. She thought nothing of it. Wizards though. They were so old-fashioned. The whole society was founded on such medieval principles. In five hundred years Muggles had taken leaps and bounds forward, while Wizards had barely moved.

"Dinner!" She announced. The gathered group, made up of far more men than women, leapt off their various resting places and headed for the dining room. Kingsley grabbed the collar of Caradoc's shirt and dragged him back as he tried pushing his way to the door. Fabian and Gideon both tried to enter the narrow doorway at the same time, and they got themselves stuck, grunting and straining until Sirius and James pushed them through. Remus entered and took the stack of plates from Lily, flicking his wand at the table to help her set it. He also directed the jug of pumpkin juice to start filling glasses.

"Thank you Remus." She said brightly and he shrugged it off, going to sit between Sirius and James.

She doled out servings with her wand, filling everyone's plates to the brim. Potatoes, ham, chicken, yams, cranberry sauce, macaroni and cheese, steak and kidney pie. The list was endless, seeing as Alice had been there all day to help. She took her seat next to James as everyone started to chow down and continue conversations from the living room.

It felt like Christmas. Not like a lull in wartime, or a momentary departure from the fears of every day. It was as though there had never been any war, that there was no "Dark Lord" hovering over them. The very thought was laughable.

Kingsley Shacklebolt, an Auror and warrior second to only Dumbledore or Moody, spent the evening telling them all about his younger brothers and sisters, the youngest not even starting Hogwarts yet. His rumbling voice laughed as he recalled how desperately she was waiting for her letter.

Bertha Jorkins and Caradoc were talking animatedly, he was flirting with her shamelessly, but she didn't seem to mind. Fabian and Gideon had slipped something into Peter's drink that made his voice become high-pitched and squeaky, that whole area of the table – excluding Remus and Lily – were laughing hysterically. As soon as Lily gave them a look however, they administered the counter-jinx and apologized.

Frank and Alice and James were all talking excitedly about the latest broom models. Names and numbers that flew right over Lily's head, but James was clearly happy to have someone to talk about Quidditch with. Lily was a poor Quidditch fan. She really only liked seeing James after a Quidditch match. Sweaty and triumphant.

After dinner Lily and Alice headed to the kitchen. In the few weeks that Frank and Alice had been living in the house in Godric's Hollow, Lily and Alice had become quite good friends. Seeing as there weren't that many women in the order, and not that many who were in almost identical situations. Soon enough Lily would be married at a young age, and the two women would have even more to talk about.

"Okay, time for dessert." Alice said, as she flicked her wand at the bevy of pies and cakes and various other treats that had been prepared for after dinner.

"Put the treacle tart near James, and the triple berry pie near Sirius." Lily advised.

Alice smiled. "You know best. In that case, slide the chocolate cake nearer to Frank and Kingsley."

They came back out of the kitchen to see Remus flicking his wand at the various desserts. Around him everyone was shouting out what they wanted a piece of, and he was diligently providing it. Alice looked at him with a laugh, and sat back down.

Yes, no war here. Just Christmas with family and friends. Lily reached for the chocolate cake as soon as Frank and Kingsley were done with it, and gave herself a hefty portion. It was the holidays after all, she didn't need to watch what she ate constantly.

[][][][][][]

Sirius propped himself up against the headboard. For the first time in three weeks he felt things returning to a normal rhythm. As his heartbeat slowed so did his brain. After such regular shagging, three weeks without any had been difficult. More than difficult, and it hadn't just been the shagging either. He'd been entirely alone. No companionship, no body to sleep next to. That had been the hardest, not just raging hormone overload.

Remus was sleeping. Sirius tilted his head to the side to watch him sleep. He looked as though this was the first good night of sleep he'd gotten in a long time. Sirius slowly slid out of the bed and headed for the window. He lifted it up slightly, cracking it to try and cool the room off. Remus grunted and rolled over. He had his thumb pressed against the corner of his mouth. It was almost as though he was on the verge of sucking his thumb but was resisting. It was adorable.

He turned back to the window. It was snowing outside. Checking the clock he confirmed that it was indeed Christmas Day now. They'd gotten back from James' place several hours ago, and then had reunited for the second time in one day. Now Sirius was left a bit restless. Personally he'd like to go play in the snow.

He exhaled with a sigh, fogging up the window. To his surprise four words appeared from the fog on the pane of glass. "I love you, Sirius." It was definitely Remus' blocky print handwriting. Beneath that he spotted a series of lines, which were fading as the window cleared. He huffed on the window again, and saw 24 tally marks, split up perfectly into sets of five except for the last one which only had four. 24 days was how long Sirius had been gone.

Remus had kept track of every day that Sirius was gone. He stared at the window until the words and marks were gone again. He glanced back over as Remus let out a little snore. He slowly climbed back into bed. Remus seemed to still be sleeping as he wrapped an arm around Sirius' warm body.

"I love you too, Remus." He whispered as he bent over Remus' sleeping face.

Remus didn't stir, and Sirius snuggled down into the sheets and yawned, finally feeling a bit more sleepy. What he didn't see as he fell asleep were two golden brown eyes slowly opening, and their corresponding cheeks turning tomato red.

[][][][][][]

"Merry Christmas Lils." James offered her a box. It was huge, twice the size of the box which had held Herman. She stared at it and then at him.

"James." She said, her voice concerned. "What is that?"

"Your present."

She examined it. Holes in the sides, she couldn't see anything however. James seemed extremely pleased with himself though. Something alive was in the box. She very slowly lifted the lid. "James!" She said, her voice becoming impossibly high-pitched. She reached in and scooped out a kitten with a huge red bow around its neck.

"I thought since Herman vanished you might want something to keep you company. Plus you know... it's like preparation for kids. Taking care of a little thing that needs attention."

"I just hope this little..." She paused to lift up its legs, "guy won't take up too much of my time. I'm still working you know."

"I know. I'll take care of him too." James assured her. "I just thought you'd like him."

"Oh, he's adorable." Lily pulled the kitten up to her chest, and he mewled plaintively. "Aw, you're hungry aren't you? Wonder what we should name him?"

"That's up to you." James said as she carried him off to the kitchen and pulled out a bowl and some milk.

"He looks like a little heartbreaker. How about Lancelot?"

James watched Lily stroking the cat and watching him lap up the milk ravenously. "Whatever you want to name him is perfect."

She laughed and punched his shoulder. "Stop being so appeasing. I love it. And I think a cat is a lovely idea. When you go away on your missions I won't be so lonely."

He kissed her temple softly. "Glad you like it."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well as per usual we take a break from drama and action for Christmas. I always like making Christmas a nice relaxed period. Basically a bit of filler for you guys. Fluff and I loved writing a bunch of the Order members outside of the war. It made them seem more like real people. In any case, next chapter is the wedding, so I hope you guys are excited!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _Thank you so much for your help in making this project a success. I never could have made it this far without your support._  
_


	48. Chapter 48: Pure Bliss

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: January, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"We've been unable to get anything out of 'im." Moody said darkly as he rubbed his forearm. "Might be a Fidelius Charm, 'cause we've tried everything. Veritaserum, Cruciatus _and_ Imperius. Shacklebolt even 'ad a go with a spell of 'is own making. Not a word 'e'll speak about the Dark Lord or 'is doings. Either 'e don't know anything, or 'e don't have the ability tell us."

"That's a disappointment." Dumbledore said, which was the biggest understatement of the century. "Parkinson was the first Death Eater we've been able to capture, thanks to Minerva's assistance."

"Aye. We've thrown 'im in Azkaban. Chances are after a week or two 'e'll be willin' to give up a few names. If we're lucky – which ain't plausible – we could find someone 'oo knows more than 'e did."

"Optimism, Alastor." Dumbledore said brightly, smiling.

"Vigilance!" Moody responded with. "That's what'll get us a proper Death Eater."

"Very well. We'll move on with the meeting." Dumbledore returned his gaze upon the members of the Order, and folded his hands over one another. "As you all know, we discovered Katherine Jarvis, one of our periphery Order members, was being Imperiused into giving away the names of other periphery members. We've had to send her into hiding to prevent anymore information being leaked out. Already two people who's names she revealed were tortured and killed. Not just with the Cruciatus, but with physical violence." He looked a bit dark as he spoke. "In the meantime, Moody, Kingsley, Frank and Alice have all agreed to provide you with Auror level training in resisting the Imperius Curse."

"Takes strength of will. Some have more'n others and there's not much we can do about it." Moody said.

"But there are a few tricks to resisting the curse." Alice interjected. "That even someone with less will can utilize."

"Right." Moody conceded.

"And the more you are put under the Curse the easier it becomes to resist." Kingsley added after a moment of thought.

"Let's start with the youngest then." Moody said, flicking his wand.

"Well, if you are beginning this lesson, I fear I must return to Hogwarts. These days the students are in need of my protection more than ever." Dumbledore said mysteriously as he stood. He nodded to everyone and then left the room.

"Remus, why don't you go first?" Sirius suggested with a grin.

Remus glared at him. Moody pointed his wand at Sirius. "Why thank ye for volunteering, Mr. Black. _Imperio_."

"Wait!" He tried to protest, but suddenly was engulfed in a pleasant sinking feeling. He felt like he was hanging above his own body, watching the scene calmly. All the protests he had a moment ago had vanished.

_Do a handstand_. Moody's voice echoed in his brain. A moment later his body stood up. _Wait... why?_ This was his voice, coming as though from far away. _Do a handstand_. Sirius saw everyone around him looking surprised, and Moody looked frustrated. _Why would I do a handstand?_ Came his own voice, but it wasn't really his voice. _Do a handstand!_ His arms rose over his head but he didn't move any further. _No, I don't feel like it_.

Instantly the floating feeling faded away, and he blinked as he was once again residing in his own head. His arms were still hanging above him in the air. He lowered them quickly. James and Remus were laughing a bit, but Frank, Alice, and Kingsley all looked impressed.

"Nicely done, Black. Didn't think ya 'ad it in ya." Moody conceded with a nod of his head. "Then again, shoulda known you'd be the most willful one here."

Sirius sat down and looked embarrassed, as Remus burst into another peal of laughter at that. "There is hardly a person in the world more stubborn and willful than Sirius Black."

[][][][][][]

"Sirius! Sirius we're going to be late, would you hurry up!"

"I will be right out!" Sirius called. He adjusted his suit tie. He hated this suit thing. Dress robes would have been so much nicer.

But this was a half-Muggle wedding and Lily had insisted on suits and ties. He gagged a bit as he tried to loosen it, and then sighed. Running his fingers through his hair, he decided he didn't like the haircut Remus had given him. Too short. He tapped his head with his wand, and it sprouted a few more inches from his head. There, that's better.

He appeared from the bathroom. Remus looked perfectly normal in his suit, of course he was used to wearing them.

"You _lengthened_ it. Lily wanted you to keep it short." Remus said accusingly.

"I combed it back. You can barely notice." Sirius said.

Remus pointed his wand at Sirius' head, and it quickly slicked back and was tied off with a small ponytail. "There. That's better. Very Mr. Darcy."

"Mister _who_?"

"Never mind. We're already thirty minutes late, we're going to miss the Portkey. Thankfully I asked Lily to make it last an hour, or else we'd never make it at all." Remus grabbed Sirius' arm and dragged him out the door and past the Anti-Apparition Charms placed on the apartment. Then he pulled Sirius with him as he twisted around in place.

They Apparated into a clear open field somewhere in Northern England. James had given them pictures and a description. Within the field was only a single object. "See, all the Portkeys are gone except ours. You only gave us ten minutes. You're the best man."

"Would you quit nagging?" Sirius said as he reached down for the small portion of rusty chain. Remus bent over as well, and they touched it at the same moment.

They arrived at the edge of a small meadow. According to James, the wedding was somewhere in the South of France, because it would be warmer than a wedding in England in January. In the middle of the field was a large white tent covered in red and gold streamers. In front of that were many chairs all lined up perfectly. Remus fidgeted with his tie, Sirius walked forward reluctantly to where people were gathered.

James spotted them first, and his eyes widened. "Merlin's beard! Sirius, the ceremony is going to start in ten minutes! We didn't think you were coming!"

"I got him here." Remus said sullenly.

"Well come on then. Everyone! Places!" James called out. "Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Frank, you all line up over here."

Sirius shuffled into place, but was pushed forward more quickly by Remus. He grunted, and watched as he saw a line of four women in red dresses with gold sashes. The first of them – the maid of honor – was Alice, carrying a large bouquet of white baby's breath. Her hair was tied up and decorated with gold ribbons and a large red rose, opened so wide it was nearly on the verge of falling apart. It was probably spelled to remain fresh and alive.

The other bridesmaids – Bertha Jorkins, Mary MacDonald, and a third girl Sirius didn't recognize – were wearing the same outfit, only without roses in their hair. He looked more closely at the thin girl that he didn't know. Was she one of Lily's friends from school? No, he'd know someone from Hogwarts. He'd dated every girl in their year and about twenty or so from other years. Or was she someone from Lily's family? Didn't Lily say she had a sister? Perhaps this was her. None of Lily's beauty in this one though. She was all pinched. She might have been pretty if she put on a few pounds and stopped scowling like someone had just pissed in her cereal.

"Guys, this is Petunia Evans, Lily's older sister." James said quickly. "She's paired up with Peter, we thought their names worked best together."

She glared at the groomsmen, her eyes slowly heading down to Peter. He smiled and her gaze flashed dangerously, and she sniffed. Peter shrank down as the groomsmen and bridesmaids all lined up in a column.

"James m'boy!" A man with long hair in a ponytail arrived. "Almost time to get things started, eh?"

"Mr. Evans." James laughed and looked a bit embarrassed. "You should be going to get Lily now. We're almost ready."

[][][][][][]

Just then, the strains of a piano came from somewhere. James cursed. Sirius grabbed his arm and squeezed it hard. They had a moment of communication. Sirius reassuring, James trying not to show his nervousness. But then it was over as James stepped aside to let the bridesmaids and groomsmen start the walk through the white tent. Everything was done to Muggle rules, other than a few charmed flowers, and the use of a singing orb instead of a "stereo". Peter and Petunia broke off from each other at the altar and moved to opposite sides of the tent, so that Alice and Sirius were standing at either side of the priest.

James followed, standing to the left of the priest. His hands kept fiddling with the cuffs of his suit, he was taking deep, calming breaths. Other than the nine at the altar and the priest, there weren't that many in the crowd. Kingsley, Moody, a much recovered Emmeline, and several other Order members. The Muggles were wary of Hagrid, sitting all the way in the back on five magically strengthened chairs. On Lily's side there was a woman with red and grey hair and bright green eyes. She was wearing a bright pink dress and a yellow hat. Her hair was longer even than her husband's. Other than her there were only a half-dozen or so family members, red-haired some of them, others with green eyes, only one or two that looked anything like Petunia.

The piano tune changed slightly, became softer and slower. James turned his gaze towards the field. There, a stark image of white and crimson, stood Lily. Her father was holding her arm, but the entire world seemed to fade away as he looked at her.

She was stunning. Her luxurious red hair was pinned up in thick curls. Small metallic gold flowers held the curls in place, either fake or Charmed, he wasn't sure. Her dress was pure white, thin lace straps leading down to a _very_ deep v-neck. The dress clung to all the right places, before slowly spreading into a long flowing skirt, the ends trailing in the grass. In her arms was a huge bouquet of red roses, charmed so they were full and even a bit dewy. Her dress was tied with a red and gold sash, and the roses were tied with a gold ribbon.

He watched, transfixed, as she walked down the aisle. Everything he did from that point on was done while gazing at her. She was blushing demurely, the first time he'd ever seen a shy Lily, and probably the last.

After the vows and the "I do"s, people scurried around, moving the chairs and the altar so that the space under the tent became a reception hall. Tables , chairs, and a long buffet table were set up where the altar had been. Everyone piled on the food and beverages. Sirius himself had a rather large glass of wine with his full plate.

James sat next to Lily, who was at the table with her parents. Sirius and the rest of the groomsmen were at one table right next to him, and Alice and the bridesmaids were on the other side. Petunia was still looking snobbish, poking at her food disdainfully and ignoring the conversation of the girls around her.

Lily was talking animatedly to her father and mother. They were pleased, and they kept drawing James into their conversation. Unfortunately, they were discussing Muggle sports and Muggle politics and it all went straight over his head. He looked over longingly at the table where Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Frank were all discussing Quidditch and the latest members of the Appleby Arrows, Frank's favorite team. Kingsley had joined them only moments before as well, so the conversation had become quite excited, since Kingsley preferred the Tutshill Tornadoes.

Sirius was on his third glass of wine, James noticed, at just about the time that Lily's father stood and raised his glass into the air. "Toasts!" He announced. His wife jumped and clapped her hands in agreement. Lily blushed darkly. Undeterred, her father cleared his throat. "A toast to James, who has made my daughter happier today than she ever will be while married."

Laughter rippled through the crowd. Hagrid's peals of raucous, slightly tipsy, laughs were loudest of all. Mr. Evans motioned to James, who raised his glass immediately and smiled. "A toast to my father-in-law, for allowing me to have his beautiful, wonderful, _perfect_ daughter for my own. And to Lily of course, for finally giving in."

She kicked him, blushing again as chuckles reached her ears. James lifted his glass towards Sirius. His best mate stood, slightly unsteady, still sipping from his glass. "Toasts... er... toasts... see, I was going to prepare for this beforehand, had some thoughts. But you know... that would take too much work." A titter, and Remus and Lily rolled their eyes. "Anyway. A toast to my best mate. Really, you're like a brother to me, always have been. I suppose I can forgive you for betraying my trust and running off with your fancy redhead." He pursed his lips. "Marauders forever, through life, love and after it all!"

Remus and Peter clapped, and even Lily managed a smile at this. Sirius sat back down, and leaned over to mutter in Remus' ear. Remus was obviously fighting back a blush or a smirk or maybe both as they got up in unison and vanished from the conversation. James blinked several times as he watched them leave. Really? At his _wedding_? They were going to queer off during his wedding reception? James heaved a sigh and returned his gaze to Lily.

Lily _Potter_. That made him forget all about his two best mates playing tongue tag in the woods. Lily Jane Potter. His wife. Her bright engagement ring had been exchanged for a more modest, simple gold circle around her finger. She was toying with it absentmindedly as she talked to her mother.

Petunia appeared at the edge of the table, smoothing down the front of her dress. "I'm leaving." She announced.

Lily looked a bit upset by the news, her mother perked up. "Petunia, you mustn't leave in the middle of the reception."

"No, I really do think I should go. And you should think about getting the rest of the family out of here. Before _they_ start flying about overhead or turning poor Auntie Isabelle into a frog."

"Tunie!" Lily said, sounding heartbroken. "Not on my wedding day!"

"It was _your_ choice to marry one of these... people. I agreed to come, I even agreed to be a bridesmaid, but I shan't stay any longer. Good-bye, Lily, Mother, Father." She turned and left.

Lily slumped into her seat, looking rather like a lost child. James was shocked at the way she had spoken to Petunia. He always was. Whenever Petunia was there Lily was no more than her little sister. Far from the confident witch who had battled Death Eaters without a second thought. He supposed there was always an exception where family was concerned.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry. We'll invite her and that boyfriend of hers over, no wizard tricks, and they'll have a nice time."

Lily sniffed. "Tunie wouldn't know a nice time if it smacked her in the nose. And her boyfriend is absolutely horrid."

James sighed, patting her arm. Lily's mother and father also attempted to console her, saying that it was only because Petunia was so busy with school and everything, that she was overstressed and needed some time away. She'd probably be writing a letter of apology right away.

"Time to cut the cake." Her father announced, obviously trying to distract her. She smiled obligingly, and she and James stood, heading over to the large white column of cake, decorated with red roses and gold streamers. The toppers were silly, but amusing. A man and a woman dressed all in black. The man had a high collar and a broomstick, and the woman had a pointed hat and was holding a tiny little wand. The Muggles thought it was a brilliant joke, and the Wizards thought the stereotypes were hilarious, so Lily and James had agreed it was a nice touch.

They doled out cake, Sirius and Remus having appeared from nowhere once again. Remus' collar was ruffled, and Sirius' hair was coming out of the small ponytail at the base of his neck. James ignored them while standing behind Lily for pictures. The camera looked normal, but it was a wizarding camera of course, James not understanding why they would even want pictures that didn't move.

Then, from across the lawn James spotted a tall figure. It was Dumbledore. Dressed in his usual attire of dark robes and a pointed hat, everyone turned to look at him as he strode into the tent and up to James. "James, I need to speak with you and Sirius, immediately." He said calmly. Lily stiffened next to him.

"Of course." James said, forgetting the cake and the wedding and even beautiful Lily. He looked over at Sirius, who was already striding toward them. Remus and Peter were close behind, Frank and Kingsley were looking worried.

"Lily, you look stunning. I'll only be a moment." Dumbledore said, apologetically, as he motioned to James and Sirius with one finger. Remus came along as well, but the elderly wizard didn't seem to care as he extracted them all from the tent. "Fabian and Gideon were attacked."

Remus sucked in his breath sharply, and James felt irrational fear crawl up his spine. Dumbledore waved away their unspoken questions and continued. "They are both fine. Gideon will be in St. Mungo's for a few days but the Healers say he won't even have much scarring. They discovered a camp of dark creatures that Voldemort had been recruiting from. Werewolves, trolls, goblins, and the few dementors that are not attached to Azkaban. They were discovered while trying to scout, a simple mistake on their part, but one that cost them quite dearly.

"Because of their injuries they are unable to continue their task."

"You want us to go find this place they were at?" James questioned.

"I want you and Sirius to find more information about the surrounding area. It's extremely dangerous. They've doubled their security and defensive measures. The only way to track it is from above. You'll need to go by broom, which is why I chose the two of you. No offense Mr. Lupin, but I do not recall you having much skill in the air."

James tried not to laugh as Remus shook his head in agreement with the statement. "No sir, I never was much good on a broom."

"Very well. Now, I know it is your wedding James, but this information cannot wait. I encourage you to finish up the reception as quickly as possible. I will be in Godric's Hollow awaiting your arrival." Dumbledore glanced at the tent holding the wizards and Muggles, and checked to make sure no one was looking. Then he Disapparated.

James hissed a bit as he turned back towards the gathered wedding party. "How do we _very_ delicately extract ourselves from this situation so that Lily won't kill me?"

Remus frowned. "I'll talk to Lily and her parents in private. Sirius, why don't you do something... distracting."

Sirius grinned. "That's what I was made for." He slipped a hand into his suit jacket and extracted a small bundle. "I made a nice little thing of fireworks for just such an occasion."

James raised an eyebrow as Sirius tapped the bundle with his wand. The end sparked, and Sirius rolled the bundle into the crowd. Remus ran over towards Lily and her parents, speaking quickly and quietly. Lily looked at James, her eyes both frightened and hiding anger. He'd have to deal with her later. He mouthed "I'm sorry" and then he and Sirius turned on the spot. Before he vanished he saw a shower of fireworks shoot into the air above the tent, with the Muggles and wizards alike raising their heads so they couldn't see the two men disappearing into thin air, and couldn't hear the corresponding crack.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Wedding! I used Bill and Fleur's wedding as a reference of course, but I did away with all the magical stuff. After all, I'm sure Lily's family would be a bit weirded out. Strangely enough, that's the first time I've written Petunia. I guess it was just easier to not write her before. xD Anyway, once again, back to the action next time around.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _I love your reviews, I'm so glad that everyone seems to be enjoying my story today!_  
_


	49. Chapter 49: I Need No Sympathy

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: January and February, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"What is this thing?" Sirius held the strange object in his hand. He examined it. It looked like a very thin pair of earmuffs with black puffs. The muff parts were quite small though, only covering the hole of each ear. Then, sprouting from one muff was a thin silver stick with yet another puff.

"I developed it myself." Harold said as he took it from Sirius. He looped it over his head so that each muff was over each ear, and then the small puff was positioned over his mouth. "They are based on a headset."

"A what?" James said, making his "headset" look like the one Harold had put on Sirius.

"It's a Muggle device that you can use with a telephone to talk to other people. Of course we can't use any electricity, but I developed a charm that works between these two headsets. When you speak into the mouthpiece here," he tapped the puff over Sirius' mouth, "James will hear your voice. And when James speaks into his mouthpiece, you'll hear his voice."

"HELLO!" James shouted. Sirius yelped loudly as the echoing voice of James screamed in his ear. Harold winced.

"No no no, you don't need to yell. You just talk normally. You can even whisper."

"Our former Ravenclaw students are remarkably adept." Dumbledore said as he watched Harold assist with the headsets. Harold flushed at the praise, and then stepped back.

"There, all set. I don't actually know how long the charms will last, but surely until the end of your mission. This way you can speak to each other on broomstick without shouting. Plus it will be useful if you have to split up. The headsets are good so long as you are within the same two mile radius."

"Handy." James said brightly, adjusting the puff over his mouth and grinning.

"You both have brooms, don't you?" Dumbledore said.

Sirius grinned. "Not exactly, but I think I can handle it."

[][][][][][]

"LOLA, L-O-L-A, LOLA!"

"If you don't stop it I swear to god I'm hexing you until you can't ever sing again."

"WELL I'M NOT THE WORLD'S MOST PASSIONATE GUY, BUT WHEN I LOOKED INTO HER EYES I ALMOST FELL FOR MY LOLA. LO-LO-LO-LO-LOLA-"

"Would. You. Stop. It." James' voice was loud and angry in Sirius' ears.

"I can't hear you." Sirius hummed the tune as he revved the engine of his motorbike. He tilted to the side, flying in a circle around James, who was whizzing along on his latest model Cleansweep.

"You put a Silencing Charm on the bike, don't play games with me."

"Oh, yeah, I did."

"You do realize that song is about a transvestite?"

"What? No it isn't."

"'I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a _man_, and so is Lola...'" James said without singing.  
"Dude! I haven't heard that song in like five years anyway."

"You named your motorbike after a transvestite." James started to laugh, and Sirius scowled over in the direction the whizzing form of his friend on his broom.

"Shut it. Wait, I think I feel something." Sirius slowed down his bike as he felt something. It was like a tingle at his fingertips. As though he could reach out and touch something magical. "Fly lower."

The small shape above him drifted off sideways and fell down. Sirius veered to the side and went down as well. Slowly they glided down to the surface. The land below them was bright and green, speckled with farms, villages, and wispy clouds. He passed to the side of one, frowning. There was definitely something below them now.

Instead of pleasant grey smoke he saw black. And instead of orange and yellow campfires he saw bright green ones. "That must be them."

"There's protection around the campsite. Not sure what kind. But based on what Fabian said there might be some Tracking, Sield, Disillusionment, Muggle Repellents, anything you can imagine." James ducked down a bit lower, and Sirius watched him reach out a hand.

"DON'T!" Sirius shouted when he felt the magic below them shimmer as James got too close.

James' hand just barely skimmed something, and for a split second a silvery dome appeared. Then it flashed bright red, and James yelled. Sirius could feel the magic burn, and he swooped over.

"James!" He shouted, as James' eyes rolled back in his head and he fell from his broom. Reaching out instantly with his wand, Sirius caught James before he touched the shield again, and then flew forward to snatch him out of the air. "James, James, mate, wake up." He tapped him hard with his wand, sighing in relief as he stirred.

"Whoa, what the hell."

"Looks like they somehow managed to weave a couple Stunning Spells into that shield." Sirius quickly rose up into the clouds as figures below moved swiftly toward where James had fallen. "Certainly wasn't built by any trolls."

"Where's my broom?"

"Got it." Sirius said, circling back around and grabbing the still-levitating broom. James dragged it up onto the back of the bike, sighing in relief as he examined the bristles.

"Well that's no good. We've got to find a weak point. Dumbledore wants more information than that." James peered over the edge. "Land us about a mile that way. Er... maybe make it two miles."

"Gotcha. LOLA, LA-LA-LA-LA-LOOOOLA." Sirius belted out as he careened away from the campsite and headed for calmer fields for them to set up a camp and figure something out.

"Oh in the name of Merlin's fluffy pants, now I can hear it through the headset _and_ from you."

[][][][][][]

"At my wedding reception Alice! He left my wedding!"

"He didn't have a choice. Dumbledore-"

"Shut up Remus. He had a choice. He always has a choice!" Lily said angrily. She slumped into a chair at the dining room table and stared at her hands. "He _chose_ to leave me. Last night was supposed to be my wedding night, our wedding night. I know we weren't going to get a honeymoon, that was hoping too much. But one wedding night, we couldn't even have that? I went from blushing bride to wondering if I'm going to be a widow by tomorrow."

"Love, that's _why_ you married him. It's the same reason I married Frank." Alice tucked a hot cup of tea in Lily's hands. "Would you rather be the worrying wife or the worrying girlfriend? It means so much more this way. You know you'll be a widow instead of the girl that never was."

The redhead sipped from the mug of tea and sighed. "Married life sucks."

"It always sucks when a war's on." Remus said, thanking Alice for the cup of tea he was handed.

Lily looked at him and sighed. "I'm sorry Remus, I know you must be worried too."

Remus blinked in confusion. "Er... well, James and Sirius are my best mates, I'd be upset if they got hurt or died."

She gave him a weird look. "Right. Best mates of course."

He glanced at her sideways. She smiled inwardly. Remus didn't know how obvious it was. Well, obvious to her. Perhaps it was because she'd always known who Remus was. Deep down, maybe better than his friends did. They only ever used him after all. But there was more to Remus than dusty books and intelligence. He was funny, he'd made her laugh quite often. And clever, they'd worked on building spells together in their free time during seventh year. And he wasn't as shy as everyone thought. He was self-deprecating to be sure, but under that was someone who was witty and smart and had opinions on things.

Maybe Sirius would help that part of him come out more. Really he was more like a den mother to Sirius at the moment.

"Lily, don't worry. Dumbledore said that they'd only be gone a couple of days. They're only gathering information."

"Dumbledore!" Lily said, her anger flaring up all over again. "Ugh, I'm so sick of Dumbledore ruining everything. First James goes all ga-ga over him, then he ruins my wedding night! Well, he'd better give James some time off because otherwise I'm going to..."

"Let loose a great pot of boiling female rage on him?" Remus suggested.

Lily stared at him blankly, and then burst into the giggles. She and Alice spent the next ten minutes fighting down laughter, until she finally wiped her eyes. Frank poked his head out of the living room.

"Is it safe to come out now?"

"Yes, you great dolt." Alice said, punching Frank's arm.

Lily propped her chin up on her hands, sighing as she gazed at Frank and Alice. "I just really want him to come home safe."

[][][][][][]

"Oh shi-"

"_Protego_!" Sirius was the one with the Shield Charm this time around, thanks to his lessons from Remus.

James ducked and rolled. With a snarl the werewolf – human at the moment – who had been attempting to attack him bounced off the shield Sirius had made for him. "About damn time you learned a defensive spell."

"Stuff it unless you want Nasty-pants here to eat your face."

"_Stupefy_!"

"You know we were only supposed to gather information, right?"

"Oh yeah! Like I did this on _purpose_!" James shot out as he ran backwards. As the tall creepy forms of dementors approached James shot out his wand. "_Expecto Patronum_!"

Sirius followed suit, and soon the giant dog and the mighty stag were galloping forward, keeping the black-cloaked creatures at bay. "Falling off your broom into the campsite? Come on, you were the best Chaser Hogwarts has ever had. You've had four contract offers from Quidditch teams in the last year."

"I didn't fall off, I was knocked off! I didn't see the tree branch. _Stupefy_!"

"I'm still going to blame you for the next few months. _Petrificus Totalus_."

"Can we stop the talking for a moment!"

"_And_ I'm telling Lily."

"What? Don't do tha- TROLLS!" James scrambled backwards as three huge figures lumbered into the crowd of werewolves and dementors they'd already been fighting off. Now they couldn't be more outnumbered.

"Okay, I think it's time for a hasty exit!" Sirius raised his wand over his head. "_STUPEFY TOTALUM_!"

A beam of red light shot into the air, and then split into every direction around them. It didn't do much more than slow down the two trolls heading in their direction, but it was enough to give them both a chance to climb on the motorbike. Sirius gunned the engine and James snatched his broom close to his chest.

"Let's go!"

"Don't have to tell me twice!" The bike roared and Sirius flew up into the night sky.

"_Deletrius_!" James shouted as they headed back up. Something above them flickered, and Sirius continued on unabated. "Just in case they put the shield back up."

Sirius nodded lightly and turned south. They zoomed back through the air. "Merlin, that whole thing sucked."

"Not my fault." James repeated sullenly, looking down behind them. "At least we escaped unscathed."

"That's a miracle."

"And we did get a lot of information."

"Also a miracle."

"Nice Shield Charm."

Sirius sighed and sped the bike up, heading back south. "I know. Remus has been drilling me."  
James seemed to stiffen behind him. "So, how do you like living with Remus?"

"Not much different from Hogwarts." Sirius chuckled. "He makes me put all my clothes away and he uses the bathroom for an hour on end while I've got to pee."

"How's... the fuzziness?" James asked casually.

"Under control. Not as nice as it was back home." Sirius said, sounding more bothered than he meant to.

"But you like living with him?"

"There are worse things in life besides him mothering me to death. Always making me brush my teeth and comb my hair."

"Sounds almost like he's a wife, not a mother."

Sirius' grip on the handlebars momentarily increased. "What's the difference anyway? Lily reminds me of _your_ mum. Just more fiery."

"Mum could be fiery." James conceded with a grin, leaning back as Sirius brought the bike down a bit to cruise. "Remember that time we brought our brooms back in the house after the mud fight?"

Sirius chuckled. "Sure. We weren't allowed to fly for the rest of the summer. It sucked."

"But the look on her face-"

"Priceless."

James quieted down. "I miss her a lot."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. James was always better about talking about emotion. "Well you would. You know, her being your mum and all."

"Sirius, I'm _trying_ to have an emotional bonding moment with you."

"Well..." Sirius huffed. "You know I miss her too. She was the only person who ever really felt like a mother to me."

"I know. She understood everything. And I wish Dad was around so I could get some advice. He'd know how to handle all this stuff."

"He'd probably tell you a story about the Great Wars in an attempt to filter knowledge in your head."

"Ugh, Muggle history. I'll never understand it."

"You never listened, that's why." Sirius chuckled lightly, but inwardly felt a great sense of loss and longing. James patted him on the back, as though he could feel what Sirius was feeling.

They'd always been connected like that. Some people thought they were brothers, and if they looked more alike they could have been twins. One mind in two bodies, they learned the same, planned the same. James, the more open-minded free-thinker, Sirius, the fiery emotion and better in a pinch. Together they were unstoppable. They were an unbreakable team. That's why Sirius was James' best man.

"Hey, would you ever be _my_ best man?" Sirius questioned.

"You, get married? Perish the thought." Though James seemed unnerved by the question.

"What, one has to settle down someday." He thought for a moment on weddings.

"If you want. Of course I'd be your best man you great dolt." James said, but still with some kind of hesitance in his voice. Sirius alluded it to his playboy nature, and that James didn't assume Sirius would ever marry or even wanted to. "Are you seeing someone you plan on marrying?"

"'Course not. Not right now." He said quickly.

"Well unless you plan on marrying Lola I don't think we need to worry about it for right now." James said brightly, clapping Sirius on the shoulder.

"Ha ha. Very funny." Sirius said, gunning the engine. She purred under his fingertips as he zoomed off.

"God, my arse hurts. How can you sit in this thing?"

"My seat is comfy. I never sit back there, so I don't know what you are talking about."

"Hasn't like... Remus or someone sit on this thing?"

"He hates it. Says we're risking our lives enough and doesn't want me riding it either. I actually haven't taken her much of anywhere in a long time. We Apparate anywhere we want to go, and she's pretty noticeable. But no worries. She'll get a fair bit of use. We didn't do all that work on her for nothing."

"Yeah well, I'm going to travel my way." James said, as he leaned over, put his broom out to the side of the bike of him, and then allowed himself to tumble off. Sirius watched as he twisted in the air to grab his footholds and pulled out of his dive just in time fully upright on his broom.

"Show-off." Sirius muttered.

"You're still wearing your headset." James' voice in his ear made him jump, and he cursed.

[][][][][][]

"That many werewolves?"

"Well, we assumed of course." James said with a frown. "We didn't see any _known_ werewolves, like Greyback. But among that many dementors and trolls they had to be more than just humans. They weren't wearing Death Eater robes either, and most of them didn't have wands. There were only one or two I saw wearing robes at all, and those had wands, but they weren't very skilled."

"One of them tried a Shield Charm but my Stunner went right through it." Sirius said flatly.

Dumbledore folded his hands over one another, making a tent with his fingers. It was a familiar symbol from the blue-eyed wizard. A sign he would be making some mysterious yet important statement.

"Greyback is a very high-ranking member of Voldemort's group. The truth is Voldemort will never give him the status of a Death Eater. But Greyback doesn't know that. He will continue to stay at Voldemort's side, at least until he's proven wrong." Dumbledore drifted off for a moment. Sirius and James lounged in the seats in the Headmaster's office. Hogwarts was really the only safe place to give their reports to Dumbledore, even if it meant no Apparating.

Finally Dumbledore spoke again, but there was a strange undertone to his voice. Like he was hiding something. "Greyback is as close to Voldemort as a Death Eater, but still on the cusp. We need to track his movements, and the movements of the other dark creatures that Voldemort has gathered. Then we will get the information we need."

Sirius and James nodded. "What do you want us to do, sir?"

"Well, nothing actually. Your mission is complete. You've been away from Lily for well over two days. I'm sure that she misses you."

James flushed and cleared his throat. "I have a feeling she won't be pleased."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "You'll have to make it up to her."

He waved his hand in the air, and several quills floated up from his desk. They spun in the air before transforming into bright orange tiger lilies. Then a ribbon appeared around them, and Dumbledore handed them over. James accepted them, and grinned. "These are _perfect_. Thank you Professor."

"I used to be quite the expert at Transfiguration myself you know." Dumbledore said calmly, relaxing back in his seat. Sirius and James gave him strange looks, wondering what his words meant. Did he know about the Animagi before him? Or was he just referring to their N.E.W.T.s? As usual, he was a mystery. "You may go. Fabian and Gideon will be well enough to continue their assignment in a day or two."

The two men left, James placing a Shield Charm around the flowers to protect them until they arrived back at Godric's Hollow.

[][][][][][]

"Peter, I heard that some people were getting injured." Adrian sipped from his mug.

They'd come to some kind of small place. Down Knockturn Alley, almost at the end, they'd stopped in a tiny little pub. It was almost empty. Peter took a drink and trembled. It was the worst sort of swill he'd ever had in his life. Not that he had ever drank much. He didn't enjoy liquor like everyone else seemed to.

Like Adrian seemed to. He drank another gulp, and then set down his mug. "Are you still fighting the war?"

Peter jumped a bit. "Uh. Yeah? I mean, I'm still... trying..."

"Your friends, are they still fighting?"

"Doing a better job of it. Sirius and James got to go one some fancy mission in place of Fabian and Gideon."

"The Prewetts?"

"Yeah, they are scouting out possible hiding places." Peter swirled the alcohol in his mug and sighed. "I'm still reporting stupid rumors to Dumbledore."

"I heard there was an attack on the assistant to the Minister a few days ago."

"Just before Valentine's day." Peter nodded. "Dorcas Meadows is her name. They nearly got her. She's been in St. Mungo's for a few days."

"Is she being released soon?" Adrian looked at him curiously.

"She's supposed to be let out later this week. I think it's Wednesday or Thursday." Peter shrugged.

"Which is it?" Adrian smacked his hands on the table and glared at Peter. Peter jumped and yelped, spilling his drink. Adrian quickly sat back down and smiled reassuringly. "I'm sorry. Really. I got overexcited. It's... really important to me that the Minister gets her help again."

"Oh. Well... it's Thursday. I'm sure of it." Peter said, looking at Adrian nervously.

"Keep drinking." Adrian encouraged, waving at the elderly woman tending bar. "I want to hear more about what Sirius and James are doing."

"Er... I dunno." Peter said, nervous. "Sirius said that what they are doing is not for other's ears. I'm not even supposed to know it."

"Hmph. I guess so. Well, I have to get going." Adrian laid a Sickle on the table and stood.

"Wait, I thought we were going to hang out today." Peter stood, setting his drink aside.

"Nah, I think we're done."

"Adrian... wait! Sirius... and James... they _did_ just get back from a mission. They told me about it the last time I had tea with them. It's kind of exciting."

The Ravenclaw's gaze looked at him seriously. "Well. That does sound interesting."

Adrian sat back down, leaning over the table. Peter felt something in the pit of his stomach sink, and he sighed slowly. There was always a price for friendship, wasn't there?

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: I actually... hate this chapter. Sorry. I hope you don't hate it as much as I do. Not much to say except that and I hope the next one will be better. Dx

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _I love your reviews_,_ keep it up!_  
_


	50. Chapter 50: A Day in the Life

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: February, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

**Remus **–

7:30 am: Wake and very delicately extract self from bed.

7:35 am: Fail in delicate extraction and wake up Sirius, who wants either a) to snuggle, b) to shag, or c) pancakes made for him.

7:40 am: Snuggle, shag, and/or make pancakes for flatmate, all the while mumbling about being late for work. Secretly be pleased.

8 am: Shower thoroughly, locking the door so Sirius will not try and get in, because if he does you _will_ be late for work.

8:30 am: Get dressed and check on Sirius, who has fallen back asleep after his snuggling/shagging/pancakes. Wake him up to inform him you are about to leave. He will grunt and roll over. Ignore him and clean up kitchen.

8:45 am: Apparate to the Library fifteen minutes early, get odd look from boss, as she knows you are either fifteen minutes early or fifteen minutes late every day.

9 am: Start work in Archives. Pretend to be more excited to be working in Archives than you actually are.

11 am: Feel hungry. Secretly eat cheese and crackers underneath desk and hope boss will not come down to see you. Boss never does. Feel guilty for eating near books, apologize to nearest bookshelf. Books do not answer.

12:30 pm: Charlotte from Preservation arrives with new things to be archived. She follows as things are shelved, striking up a conversation about Muggle literature. In the back of your mind, realize that you are being flirted with. As always, very politely decline her offer to get lunch after work. Try not to feel guilty as she leaves. Realize you are too nice for your own good.

1 pm: Pack up things and leave work, Apparate home. Be greeted by overly excited Sirius who wants lunch and/or shagging.

1:30 pm: Actually order and eat lunch. Sirius leaves for nap with full stomach and abated libido. Start cleaning kitchen from Sirius' snack fiasco, end up cleaning most of apartment.

2 pm: Read book and fall asleep while reading much to own disappointment.

5 pm: Be wakened by Sirius who demands attention. Offer to read him book. Earn incredulous look. End up snogging and talking about day at work, but do not reveal most of the details.

6 pm: Order dinner. Same take-out guy every night. Watch Sirius consume more food than can be physically possible. Attempt to use chopsticks, fail as always. Pick out the good parts of the sweet and sour chicken, refuse to eat water chestnuts or small green unidentifiable vegetable.

7 pm: Apparate to Potters. Greet and chat. Attempt to ignore lock of hair in Sirius' face that you always tuck away. Are so distracted by lock of hair that you really don't hear what Peter was saying.

9 pm: Return home. Sirius is being incorrigible and charming all at once. Give in to his charms.

10 pm: Read in bed while Sirius sleeps. His snoring is strangely adorable and annoying. Stare at Sirius for a while trying to decide if you should wake him up so he'll stop snoring.

11 pm: Fall asleep despite snoring.

**Sirius **–

7:20 am: Wake up and have to pee. Decide to wait until Remus tries to escape from the bed so can pounce on him and demand a) snuggling, b) shagging, or c) pancakes.

7:35 am: Remus resists. Use best puppy dog face and fluttery eyelashes. Resistance is futile.

7:40 am: Revel in victory.

8:15 am: Attempt to get into bathroom to surprise Remus. Remus is however both clever and resourceful and has remembered to lock the door. Debate getting wand and decide it's too much effort.

8:30 am: Go back to sleep only to be woken up by Remus informing you he's leaving. Ignore him and listen to him moving around the house and kitchen. Secretly feel guilty you didn't say goodbye when he finally leaves. Fall back asleep.

10 am: Wake up to the sounds of Lax Lenny and his Siren Songtresses coming from upstairs. Spend ten minutes thinking up every insult in existence for bad neighbor who insists on playing his wireless while some people are trying to sleep. Wonder if music is on to hide a massive orgy and why weren't you invited. Wonder what Remus would do, then realize that would be boring.

11:30 am: Get dressed and leave apartment for Diagon Alley.

12 pm: Have coffee and donut at Leaky Cauldron. Flirt with waitress until she gives out phone number or threatens to hex you, which ever comes first. Watch people going to and fro.

1 pm: Return home a few minutes before Remus, change into underwear and bathrobe so he thinks you've been lazing about all day. Jump on him as soon as he walks in the door wanting food and other base desires.

1:30 pm: Eat, then nap.

4 pm: Wake up, find Remus sleeping in his chair, decide to let him sleep. Conclude that Remus looks handsome while sleeping, especially curled up around a book as though it were a teddy bear. Sit on chair and watch him.

5 pm: Finally get bored and wake Remus up, wanting to be entertained. Give Remus look when Remus suggests reading for entertainment. Snog him until boredom eases, then talk about inane events. Know Remus isn't telling you everything about his day, but don't ask.

6 pm: Once again, demand food. Show off expert hand-to-eye coordination in use of chopsticks to consume beef and broccoli. Eat Remus' water chestnuts. Mock Remus' lack of hand-to-eye coordination. Duck as small unidentifiable green vegetable is thrown at head.

7 pm: Visit James. Chat about war, the Order, St. Mungo's, and latest events. Remus and Lily have girl talk. Peter is talking about his day at work. Ignore him because you are watching Remus' mouth move and remembering how good it tastes. Resist urge to find small linen closet to snog in.

9 pm: Stop resisting urge to snog once are at home again. Remus gives in quite easily. Revel in victory a second time.

10 pm: Fall asleep.

12 am: Wake up as Remus stirs feeling paranoid. Sneak out of bed and lock all doors and check all windows and add more defensive spells to apartment. Return to bed and remain awake for several hours listening to nighttime sounds and to the sound of Remus' breathing.

**Lily **–

5:30 am: Wake up and disentangle self from bed. James does not even move. Try to resist urge to wake him up anyway, barely succeed. Shower, get dressed, eat breakfast.

6 am: Make tea and read Daily Prophet. Congratulate self on not pursuing journalism as a career.

6:30 am: James appears from bedroom wondering where you are. Complains you didn't make him tea. Glare at until he makes his own tea.

6:45 am: Apparate to St. Mungo's. Greet witch at front desk who still doesn't know your name. Determinedly introduce yourself again, and then head for the ground floor.

7:30 am: Spend thirty minutes trying to treat a serious burn on a three year old who will not sit still nor stop screaming. Congratulate self on deciding not to have kids for a while.

9 am: Finish shift on ground floor and head for Potion Brewing. Find self wishing that Severus was there to help brew the burn salve, then correct self quickly. Feel guilty for several minutes afterward.

11 am: Finish shift in Potion Brewing and head for Third Floor. Assaulted by man speaking nonsensical French and covered in purple spots. Spend next thirty minutes soothing man and trying to figure out his ailment. Eventually shooed away by senior Healer who seems to already know and fixes man in about a minute. Feel rather stupid for a while.

12:30 pm: Eat lunch. Are interrupted half-way through lunch by screaming from the ground floor, end up spending remainder of lunch hour reattaching a man's leg.

1:30 pm: Take small nap in spare room on fourth floor, hoping no one finds you.

2:30 pm: Are assigned to First Floor. Spend hours helping elder Healer remove 6 Doxies from man's arm.

4 pm: Request break. Are granted it only to end up spending it helping a mother and her children find her husband on the Second Floor. Avoid giving her any information about her husband's condition. Feel guilty again.

5 pm: Finally are off-shift. Walk out of door only to race back in as two young men arrive bleeding all over the place.

6 pm: Apparate home. James has dinner prepared and a glass of hot tea waiting for you. Resist urge to cry and instead eat voraciously. Cry a little bit afterward while James fills up the bathtub for you.

7 pm: Feel significantly better for usual after-dinner chat with Remus, Sirius and Peter. Even laugh at Sirius' very bad joke about witch with two heads. Have talk with Remus about day at work, Remus consoles. Assure Peter that working at Ministry is very important. Feel bored as listens to Peter's day.

9 pm: Curl up on couch with James, who rubs your feet even though you didn't ask him to. Feel guilty for being away all day, decide to make it up to him.

10 pm: Fall asleep after making it up to him.

**James **–

6:30 am: Wake up realizing that is alone in bed. Leave room with desire for tea, find Lily drinking. Complain. Earn glare and make own tea. Kiss Lily good-bye.

7 am: Read Daily Prophet and feel angrier than should at news.

8 am: Make breakfast. In the middle of making breakfast, remember to read the news section on Quidditch. Destroy frying pan by leaving eggs in it for thirty minutes. Throw away breakfast and get dressed.

9 am: Eat breakfast at Muggle cafe. Scan Muggle newspaper for any suspicious events. Circle with pen said suspicious deaths, disappearances, etc.

10 am: Meet with Moody at Ministry. Share Muggle newspaper. Talk about next meeting, Dumbledore, etc. Once again refuse to sign up for Auror training until war is over. Spend moment chatting with Frank and Alice on way out, argue about Quidditch.

12 pm: Return home, eat lunch, and clean up house so Lily won't have to. Try Flooing Sirius, but he's out as usual. Consider visiting Lily but decide against when remembers how busy she is. Lay around house listening to wireless and being incredibly bored. Seriously consider returning to Ministry and signing up for Auror training.

3 pm: Take broom out just so has something to do. Find open field and practice defensive and offensive spells on local wildlife. Are attacked by squirrel after Stunning Spell wears off. Wonder if Order could recruit local squirrel population for war. Wonder if just gave self rabies. Feel paranoid for next several hours.

5:30 pm: Make dinner. Actually focus on dinner instead of reading newspaper and so only messes up recipe slightly. Hopes Lily will forgive such a small mistake.

6 pm: Greet Lily and serve dinner. Try not to ask about her day since that tends to make her cry. She cries anyway. Console and ignore desire to ask her about symptoms of rabies. Make her a bath so she can relax a bit before visit with Remus, Sirius and Peter.

7 pm: Make fun of Peter for being late. Serve tea and make sure Lily is feeling better. Tell old/new stories and jokes with Sirius and Remus. Cut off Peter's too-long story about his day. Argue with Sirius about which team is looking to hire Ludo Bagman. Brag about getting twice as many contract offers.

9 pm: Turn on music and curl up with Lily. Pretend to be flipping through latest broom catalog but aren't really paying attention. Massage Lily's feet because she looks tired. Are thanked profusely by Lily.

10 pm: Curl up in bed after profuse thanks from Lily and watch her sleep. Wonder how got so lucky. Reassure self that Ludo Bagman has no one like Lily. Sit in dark even though is not tired so that Lily can get her sleep.

11 pm: Finally fall asleep against Lily.

**Peter **–

7 am: Are woken up by Mother who reminds you of work in 30 minutes. Get up, dressed, and hurry through breakfast. Try to avoid conversation. End up getting lectured at for fifteen minutes because only one sock ended up in the washer. Have to hunt down sock before is able to leave.

7:40 am: Arrive at Ministry ten minutes late. Are lectured minutes by uncle who reminds you that you only got this job because you are family.

8 am: Start cleaning a half-hour late. Scourgify has not improved despite practice. Have to do most cleaning by hand, including large green stain outside elevator on third level. Do not want to know what it is.

10 am: Take a secret break in washroom on fifth level. Go back to work after official finds you and informs you of Dungbomb explosion.

11 am: Another secret break, this time discovered by uncle who demands you work through lunch to make up for all the breaks.

12:30 pm: Take lunch break anyway.

2 pm: See Adrian bustling down hall. He stops to say hello, but not much more. Accept invitation to go out for drinks. Afterwards realize you really don't have anything to talk about him with, and feel growing sense of anxiety.

4 pm: Finally get off work and head for usual bar. Adrian is there. Talk for a while about things that might be important, but sense Adrian is growing annoyed and impatient by lack of news. Wonder once again why Adrian likes talking about the war so much. Avoid asking.

5 pm: Finally get home. Mother is upset about something. Try to listen but end up ignoring her until she sets up dinner. End up telling her about your day. She doesn't listen.

7 pm: Go to James and Lily's for usual get-together. Arrive a few minutes late and listen to James make fun. Try to listen to all the conversations and speak when possible but find self unable to say much of anything. Feel stupid and start talking about day. James tells to shut up. Lily looks slightly relieved.

8 pm: Leave early. Try to floo Adrian to see if he wants to do anything. No answer. Play chess with self and give up. Play Exploding Snap with self and give up. Have to ask Mother to regrow eyebrows. Get another lecture about toying with explosives.

9 pm: Look for open jobs in the Daily Prophet classifieds. Consider salesperson position at Madam Malkin's but realizes knows nothing about robes or tailoring. All other positions require experience or N.E.W.T.s. Remember N.E.W.T. scores and feel sorry for self. Put away newspaper.

9:30 pm: Mother shows up and yells at for ten minutes about how you folded up the newspaper wrong. Apologize and lock door to room.

10 pm: Go to bed because have nothing else to do. Lay awake for a while listening to owls outside. Wonder what it would be like to be a rat forever. Laugh at self because James would probably do so and fall asleep.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Okay so I'm not sure how but I have come down with a serious flu-type bug. The chapter I was planning on is way too intense for me to be able to write right now. To make it up to you guys I wrote this tiny little filler chapter, in between drug-induced stupors. Even this very small chapter (the shortest I've ever written) took me the entire day. It was fun though. I hope you guys like it and you'll forgive me while I recover from whatever illness has possessed me.

Also it occurs to me that this filler chapter is a perfect little way to celebrate 50 chapters! wooooooo!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _Your reviews perk me up. I'm sure if I get lots and lots of them I'll get better really fast! *wink wink*


	51. Chapter 51: The Battle at St Mungo's

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: February, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

Peter stared at the amber liquid in the mug. He always ordered the same thing, because Adrian always ordered the same thing. He looked back up. Adrian seemed antsy. And he wasn't drinking as much as he usually did.

"Are you... doing something later?" Peter asked casually.

"Yeah, I might have plans." Adrian said, chuckling.

"Oh... anything special?"

"You aren't invited if that's what you're asking. It's a pretty small group. Exclusive-like. Sorry."

But he didn't sound sorry at all. Peter released his mug and curled his hands in his lap. Adrian had been distant for ages now. Just as Peter had thought him a real friend. Not a friend like the Marauders. But someone who actually liked him and liked to listen to him speak and cared about what he had to say.

"Peter."

"Yes?"

"What do you think of this whole war?"

"What?"

"Your opinion. Honestly. You must have thoughts on it. Anything in that brain of yours?"

"Well I... James never-"

"Not what James thinks. For Merlin's sake Peter, I want to know what _you_ think. You. Peter Pettigrew. I know you must have your own brain in that colossal skull of yours. Some tiny portion of your underused cranium must have some opinions and thoughts within it not guided by everyone else."

Peter froze, racking his brain. "Well... Lily is a Muggle-born and she... she's one of the smartest people I know, really good at magic and clever and all. And she's super nice..."

"Uh huh. So you don't mind them? Using _our_ magic? Taking our jobs?"

"Taking our jobs?"

"The ratio of Muggle-borns to normal wizards has been going up. They have the Ministry positions, the Healer positions, the teaching positions. They could kill the Minister, they could refuse to heal sick or injured Purebloods, they mold the minds of our children. They are poised to try and take over our entire society."

"Well I never thought about it that way."

"Hmph." Adrian jerked upright. His arm trembled, and Peter watched him hide it under the table. "I've got to go. I'll talk to you later."

He stood, and Disapparated. The waitress came by and looked at Peter darkly. "That'll be two Sickles."

Peter fished the money reluctantly out of his pocket and set it on the table. With that, he left, Apparating back home. His mother wasn't home, thankfully. He collapsed into the living room, frowning as he gazed at the fireplace. Muggle-borns were stealing jobs? Well they could have his. He didn't want it.

A little while later he tossed a bit of Floo powder into the fireplace. "James?"

No answer. He tried Sirius and Remus. Nothing there either. He sat cross-legged in front of the fireplace, gazing at the flames changing back to red and yellow.

[][][][][][]

"Finally, an easy assignment." Lily leaned against the front desk and sighed softly. Directing people where to go, calling down the emergency team, handling difficult patients, those were all extremely simple assignments compared to her usual schedule. She was still on call, but at least she could sit down every so often. The hospital was always understaffed. Too many patients and too few Healers was a bad combination these days.

For a few hours she was in somewhat of a blissful state. It seemed her day was twice-over lucky, because the usual volume of patients had decreased significantly. She was even slightly bored, and very grateful for that boredness.

"Peekaboo." She jerked as a voice came from her left. Turning, she gasped.

"James!"

"Hello love." He said cheerily, leaning against the counter. "I came to visit. You said you were assigned to the front desk and I am here to brighten your day."

"Oh, that's so nice of you." She stood to give him a kiss, and then glanced at the door. "Welcome to St. Mungo's, what can I do for you?"

After she had pointed the young man with a pair of extra arms growing out of his torso into the waiting room, she returned her attention to her husband. He raised an eyebrow and smiled. "You look tired. But very official."

"Er... thank you?" She said, unsure if that was a compliment or not. He chuckled.

"Tired but beautiful, how's that?"

"Much better darling." She said, squeezing his fingers. "Why aren't you making your usual visit to Moody?"

"I'm sick of him asking when I'll be joining up with the Aurors." He said with a roll of his eyes.

"I'm surprised he hasn't roped you and Sirius in."

"We can't afford to take 3 years to become certified when at any moment we might end up having to go on a mission for Dumbledore." James said, his voice low. "Sirius wants to join the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, but it takes too long. It's better for us to wait until things quiet down and we can take the time away from... things." He leaned back and raised his voice slightly. "Besides, I'm not going into Law Enforcement, I'll tell you that right now. I'm going to accept that Scotland contract that was offered. They said no time limit."

"Yes well, I'm not moving all over the place to follow your career." She said pointedly.

"Not to worry. Oh, and I do have an ulterior motive for coming."

"Oh?"

"Dorcas is being released today, Dumbledore wanted to make sure she wouldn't need any help getting out of here." James smiled calmly, but there was a knowing look in his eyes that she understood. After all, there was a very good reason Dorcas had been in here as long as she did. Her wounds had healed up more quickly than they had let slip, so she'd have the safety of St. Mungo's for as long as possible.

"It's a good plan. She'll be coming down pretty soon I expect." Lily said, turning towards the stairs to check. "Ah, I can see her down the stairs."

When she turned back around, James was gazing at a window, looking confused. The window showed the street, approaching wizards and the Muggles that walked by without even glancing at the abandoned storefront. He flicked his wrist in that familiar way that indicated he was sliding his wand down into his hand. Most people wouldn't notice it, but Lily did, and she immediately scanned the window.

She didn't see anything. "James?"

"Sh." He pressed a finger to his lips. "I thought I saw something." He turned around to face the table and smiled. "Keep talking to me."

"Er... about what?"

"Anything. Anything normal."

"Um, okay. I _was_ going to ask you to pick up a few things from the grocery on your way home. We need more milk, especially for Lancelot, he's a growing kitten. Oh, and some chicken for tomorrow's dinner."

"You know I'm not a big fan of all this chicken." James said casually, but his eyes were still darting around.

"It's healthier than red meat. I'm trying to keep you fit." Lily taunted, but more fear was in her voice than normal.

"Don't be alarmed." He said in a low voice. "But I had that Cloak for ten years and I know how it feels. And I'm sure I can feel that right now."

She stiffened, then forced herself to relax. "How do you know?"

"I can't explain it. It's like some kind of special magic surrounding a Cloak, and I just... I just know. It's instinct I suppose." James frowned and glanced over his shoulder.

In one fluid movement, he whirled, his wand sliding into his palm. He pointed it at the entrance. "_Accio_ Cloak!"

[][][][][][]

There was a flutter from the doorway, and then a tall dark figure in a robe was revealed for a moment. He or she – impossible to tell under those robes – gasped and then threw off the remaining portion of an Invisibility Cloak. James threw a Shield Charm over himself and the desk which Lily was still behind, just as a brilliant red Stunner came from the wand of the mysterious Death Eater.

Lily shrieked – in anger, not in fear – and whipped out her own wand. "You are most certainly _not_ welcome!"

"Dorcas!" James turned slightly to see her coming up the stairs. "Get back!"

The laugh that issued from the robes was a male's laugh, and he reached under his sleeve. James blinked, not knowing what he was going for, since his wand was already in his other hand, but when he pulled his hand back out it was empty. James shook off his confusion and pointed his wand steadily at the man.

"Lily, you get Dorcas back downstairs." He called over his shoulder.

"It's too late!" The Death Eater exclaimed.

Outside the window, at least eight more Death Eaters Apparated directly into the middle of the street. It was mid-morning on a weekday so the street was less crowded than it could have been, and they did a good job of clearing it, shooting spells into the innocents. James watched with growing horror and anger as five Muggles collapsed after killing spells were shot their way, faces frozen.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" James hissed into his wand. The tall, imposing stag appeared and gazed at him calmly. "Go to Dumbledore! Tell him there's an attack on St. Mungo's, they're trying to get at Dorcas. Tell him to get everyone!"

As the stag vanished he turned back around, just in time to see a spell crash through his shield. He dived for the floor. He'd always had fast reflexes thanks to Quidditch, and training with Frank and Alice hadn't hurt either. He spun, looking for Lily as he got up.

The Death Eaters poured in, but Healers were appearing. One particularly large woman was whipping her wand hand through the air like it was a sword. "There is no fighting within this building! St. Mungo's is a place for Healing!"

They all managed to push the Death Eaters back toward the door. On the street, James spotted Order members appearing on the abandoned road. Kingsley, dueling two though he only just arrived. Remus, strangely enough without Sirius. No wait, Sirius was there as well, shooting spells at a group of Death Eaters.

"We have to get Dorcas into the street so we can Disapparate!" Lily said as James got closer to her.

He nodded. "I'll lead the way, you keep hexing."

He covered the three in a Shield Charm. Dorcas wasn't completely useless, her wand was out as well, despite her arm still in a sling, and she shot a yellow beam of light at a Death Eater that caused a his clothing to turn into hundreds of vines that wrapped around him and completely incapacitated him.

"I was always best in Herbology." She said lightly as they got to the entrance.

"Alright, get ready to Disapparate." James shot over his shoulder as they left the building. Two Stunners ricocheted off his Shield and it wavered.

Dorcas spun, but nothing happened. "I can't Disapparate!"

Lily's eyes widened as she looked at the crowd. The Death Eaters were all using their spells defensively. They weren't actively trying to kill any of the Order members. "They're waiting!" She called, motioning to the group. James seemed to comprehend.

"Shit. We've got to get back inside." He turned, but it was too late.

There, in the middle of the crowd suddenly, the tall figure in black robes they all recognized. Lord Voldemort, and Lily felt the chill in the air. The Death Eaters all moved closer to him, surrounding him with Shield Charms and spells that made him impossible to get to.

He pointed his wand at Dorcas. No words came, but none were needed.

James stretched out his wand. "_Protego_!"

The shimmering light was valiant and strong, but nothing could protect against the jet of green light that issued from the wand of the Dark Lord. Lily would later on feel coursing guilt for not moving faster, for not protecting Dorcas better, for not doing something more. Now she only felt horror and shock as Dorcas crumpled into James' arms.

As soon as Dorcas was dead Voldemort cackled, a laugh that Lily felt sure she would never forget. She raised her wand. "You monster!"

The spell she shot was blocked by another Death Eater. For a moment Voldemort gazed at her, upper lip curling just slightly. "Until you've the courage to try a real spell, you're not even worth the effort. Keep fighting until I call you!"

He twirled and vanished after the last order to his cronies. Lily's nostrils flared and her chest felt as though it might burst. When she turned to check on James, he was on his feet again, Dorcas laid carefully on the ground.

[][][][][][]

At least he wasn't unable to fight this time around. Sirius flicked his wand disdainfully at a figure in front of him and watched them go flying backwards. His eyes scanned the chaos. After Voldemort had vanished, movement had begun again, this time faster than ever. They had been outnumbered before, but the Death Eaters weren't actively attacking while they were waiting for their Lord to arrive. Now they were bent on killing.

Sirius barely dodged the killing spell which went whizzing over his head. With an angry hiss he flicked his wand at a hunk of twisted metal that must have been blasted off a building. It flew at a nearby Death Eater, who barely avoided it and still got clipped in the shoulder. The figure fell to the side, and a mask fell off with a clatter. Sirius stared.

"Regulus?" He breathed.

Dark eyes flashed at him as his little brother stood up straight and squared his shoulders. Sirius felt his mouth go dry.

His family had always been a sore point. And Regulus had been the image of the perfect son. Loyal, obedient, and not to mention gullible. He swallowed the load that the Blacks had handed to him without the slightest protest. He was the son they always wanted. Sirius watched him raise his wand and held up a hand.

"Regulus, we don't have to fight!"

A disdainful smirk was all he received in answer at first. Then Regulus rolled his eyes. "You are no prodigal son, Sirius. You will not be welcomed back with open arms. And unlike you, I am _not_ a coward. _Avada kedavra_!"

Sirius' eyes widened in horror, and he moved, fast. The spell whizzed past him, but far too close. He looked back to see Regulus picking up his mask and affixing it back onto his face. Then the once-again anonymous Death Eater turned back to the man who was once his brother.

"_Reducto_!"

James' voice caused Sirius to look over, as Regulus went flying off into the crowd. Their eyes met for a moment, determined hazel and emotionally torn grey. James' narrowed his gaze and gave a curt shake of his head, before turning back around. Dismissal and anger at Sirius. It would be brought up again later, he knew.

"Sirius, are you okay?" Remus appeared. He looked haggard. The full moon was tonight and he deserved to be sleeping, not traipsing through death and destruction.

"I'm fine." He said, his voice dead of the emotions that he was feeling.

Death Eater had never been people before. Now he was struck by the fact that they were all people. And most of them were probably people he knew. People he might even be related to. Bellatrix. Lucius. Regulus. Hell, his own _father_ might have joined up with the Dark Lord after Sirius had left home. He had never spoken to them again, never heard any news from them. Andromeda was the only Black that he had ever seen again after that summer. He'd spotted Regulus in the halls at school, but despite his love for pranking Slytherins his little brother had been strangely untouched. As if pranking him meant recognizing that he existed.

"Sirius, focus!" Remus said, shooting a shield around them as three Stunners converged at once.

Now was not the time to be having an existential crisis. He turned around, pointing his wand at someone in black robes. No faces, no names. Focus on the mask. The anonymity. They weren't real people. They weren't. His hand shook as he shot the jinx, he watched as the long black robes suddenly came to life and tried to attack their wearer. Strangely enough, it made him feel better. He pointed his wand again, and again, and the tremors ceased.

[][][][][][]

Lily looked back at the storefront that hid St. Mungo's from sight. To her shock, the window had been broken, and the mannequin that let everyone inside was falling out of it, her arm missing. The twisting in Lily's gut over a broken doll was no less severe than it had been for Dorcas.

"Filthy mudblood!" She jerked her head back to see a wand pointed at her. The voice sounded familiar. One of Severus' friends?

She slashed her wand at him. "_Levicorpus_!"

The spell was said with such ferocity that as the Death Eater was hoisted up in the air he flew backwards, and slammed into a brick wall. As he slid down, he didn't move. The twisting again, and she hurried closer, needing to see him breathing, moving, something. A twitch of his fingers sent relief through her, and she turned around again.

"Lily!" Alice and Marlene were standing there, and Alice gripped her shoulder.

"Marlene, you shouldn't be here, if they see you..."

"I'm not staying in hiding during one of the biggest battles we've had yet." There was a mix of triumph and anger in the blond, she was wearing a thick blue cloak with the hood pulled up over her head. "They won't recognize me."

Lily adjusted her footing and shivered. It was the middle of February after all, and as the battle continued and her adrenaline waned she felt the cold bitterly through her thin robes.

Off to the side, she heard a siren. "The Muggle police are arriving, what are we supposed to do?"

"I'll get Frank and we'll handle it." Alice said curtly. "They've got to be delayed until the Death Eaters are gone and we've gathered up our injured."

She vanished into the rubble and reappeared with Frank at her side. They scrambled to where the red and blue lights were flashing in the distance. Lily watched them until a crack beside her made her turn and put up a Shield Charm, just in time for about half the wall of a nearby building to collapse downward.

Marlene screamed, and Lily whirled as dust and debris showered her. The shield had protected her from the largest hunks of brick and wood, but a rather large hunk of stone smacked her in the arm on the way down, and she yelped. "Marlene!"

The word made her cough, and she stopped, covering her mouth with one sleeve and breathing through it. Struggling for clean air she listened hard, trying to discern where the blond had gotten to. She heard a coughing, gagging noise and went to it.

"Marlene!" The petite Order member was laying pinned under a four foot section of brick and stone. Lily levitated the wall, and it went up only an inch or two, but enough for her to shove it out of the way. "Marlene, say something."

Marlene only coughed lightly, and Lily saw crimson spatter the sidewalk. She very gently rolled Marlene onto her back, feeling broken ribs and hips and a collarbone beneath her fingers. Too much internal damage. Lily didn't know what to do. This wasn't some unknown man in the waiting room who needed someone to stop the bleeding. This was a friend, a colleague, a fellow warrior. Marlene's bright blue eyes looked at her pleadingly, and Lily's courage faded.

[][][][][][]

The fight seemed to go on forever. The Order was vastly outnumbered, especially as their number dropped. Dumbledore never arrived, and so they began to falter. Even as Moody continued to shout out orders, there was clearly a desire to flee. Disapparition was still impossible, some spell still hung over the street. Remus glanced at his wristwatch and was startled to see it had only been twenty minutes.

When life was a series of desperate moments of survival it tended to feel like it was going on too long. He felt exhaustion, the pull of the moon, everything was piling into him until he could barely move. Reactions were sluggish at best.

He wanted this to be over. The thought of continuing this fight made untamed rage and frustration build in his system. Something inside him demanded blood. It was almost like he could hear the wolf in his mind, there at the surface. An animal who's cage door was rusted, and would break after darkness fell that night.

A spell came at him and he put up a feeble Shield Charm that shattered on contact with the yellow bolt of light. He drew himself up, frustration growing. The Death Eater rushed at him, wand out, and Remus actually snarled.

Instead of a spell or even a wand motion, Remus stretched out a hand and slashed across the masked figure's face with his bare fingers. The mask went flying and he felt his nails dig into flesh, and something in his muscles screamed. Instead of tired and achy for a split second he felt an awesome, terrible power course into his chest and down to his hands, and he grabbed the unmasked Death Eater by the throat. His fingernails dug in. Something about the face was familiar to him. Another student from Hogwarts?

The flow of energy waned as quickly as it had waxed. He tossed the man back. There was blood on his fingertips. His stomach curled and he felt bile rising in his throat. He fought it down. He watched the Death Eater stumble up to his feet, covering bleeding wounds on his face and around his throat. Remus' muscles felt like lead as the man's wand rose.

"Remus!" Sirius was still off to his side, and he felt something grab his arm and drag him down.

But not before something pierced his side like a giant hot dagger. Heat was all he felt for a moment, blistering heat and then a strangled cry escaped from his lips. Blood was roaring in his ears, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Remus!" Sirius' voice sounded as though it were coming from far away. "Lily! Get over here! Remus got hit!"

Hands were touching him, and he jerked. In his mind's eye the moon taunted him, and like a feral animal he growled and writhed away from the fingers trying to soothe him. He opened his eyes to see a head of red hair and worried green eyes.

"Remus? Remus blink if you can hear me, please."

It took a moment of thought, but he closed his eyes. She sighed in relief. "Okay. I'll give you something for the pain. Relax."

"He's got a giant hole in him! How can he relax?" Sirius' voice was panicked. Remus wanted to say something reassuring, but his lips were wet and he tasted blood and it made him gag slightly. Then Lily muttered something and a beautiful numbness passed over his body. His eyes slipped closed again.

[][][][][][]

James jerked his head as he heard the nearby crack. Two Death Eaters vanished. Apparition was apparently an option once more. "_Locomotor Mortis_!"

His spell was blocked, and then a short chuckle escaped the mask of the Death Eater he had been dueling as he spun and Disapparated. James cursed, turning to watch as the Death Eaters – once they realized that people were leaving – all turned and were gone. He let out a cry of anger, which was honestly just a roar of desperation, flinging his wand onto the ground.

A gentle hand touched his arm and he turned to see Lily. Her hair was flying in every direction, her green Healer's robes covered in dirt and smudges. She was carrying one arm awkwardly.

"Are we even making a difference?" James whispered breathlessly. His eyes fell away from her and to the prone body of Dorcas Meadows, unmoving.

"Not this time." Lily answered quietly. "But we're still alive to try again."

He suddenly realized she was crying, huge tracks of water on her cheeks. He wrapped an arm around her and held her close, and she pressed her face into his shoulder.

Not this time, maybe not ever. James felt himself choke a bit on the mere thought. He gazed out, watching everyone picking themselves up. Sirius and Remus were gone, he didn't know where. Frank and Alice were gone too, but he suspected they were at the growing wall of police cars. Kingsley, limping and gripping his side, was also headed in that direction.

"Get the wounded up!" Moody was yelling.

Healers appeared from the shattered window of St. Mungo's, they were helping people get the injured inside. There was some kind of irony in the fight having taken place right outside a place of safety and healing. Not safe anymore. That Death Eaters could waltz right inside.

Moody was walking closer. He looked unharmed. "Potter, where's the body."

James froze, then pointed over to where Dorcas was laying. Moody walked over, and Lily finally pulled away from his shirt, still sniffling. He held her still, sighing slowly.

"Can we leave?" She asked him, he nodded.

"I don't suspect they'll need us." He turned and took her with him, one thought in his mind. _Home_.

[][][][][][]

**Gas Explosion Kills 16, Injures 3**

_Yesterday at approximately 11:30 in the morning in Holborn a large explosion caused mayhem in the street. According to officials, the cause of the explosion was a large gas leak from the construction on local department store Purge and Dowse, Ltd. Of the approximately thirty witnesses, fourteen civilians were killed, and three survived but are in critical condition. Two constables who arrived on the scene after the fact were killed by falling debris. Said Chief Constable Kenneth Bourne, "It truly was an unfortunate situation. Freak accidents like these cause chaos and tragedy. We extend our condolences to the families of those injured by the explosion." The police and fire department are satisfied with their reports, and there will be no investigation into the circumstances of the explosion._

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well, I'm finally feeling so much better, and so I was able to finish this chapter. It was a monster of a chapter, there was a lot going on and a lot to talk about. Probably one of the hardest chapters I have had to write. Anyway, please enjoy, and the next one will be up on schedule!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _As always I enjoy your reviews so much. Keep it up!


	52. Chapter 52: Aftermath

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: February, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Lily? Lily, you haven't been to work in over a week, they sent another letter."

She opened her eyes to see James standing over the bed with a tray. It had toast and eggs, and a steaming hot cup of tea. Slowly the redhead sat up, sniffing and glancing at the clock. "James, it's six am. Why are you up?"

"I was going to make you breakfast so you could get ready for work." He said, setting the tray over her legs.

She didn't look him in the eye as she picked up the tea and held it between her palms. She inhaled the steam and exhaled to help it cool so she could sip it slowly. "I'm not going back."

He looked at her, and sat down at the end of the bed, avoiding her feet. "Lily... I think I've been really nice about this. And you know that if you really decided that you didn't ever want to work again that I could support us and I would be totally okay with that decision. But I don't think you've thought about this. I think you're scared."

She leveled her gaze at him and glared slightly. "I'm not afraid. I just don't want to be a Healer anymore."

"Lily, that might be true, but you won't even go to St. Mungo's with me to visit Remus."

The twist in her gut was back. She gripped the mug harder but all it did was threaten to burn her hands. Carefully she set it back down. "How's he doing?"

"Fine. Don't change the subject. I don't care if you quit being a Healer. I don't care if you take up Charm Research instead. All I want is for you to leave the house with me. And go visit Remus, and Sirius. Maybe lunch at that really nice Italian place you love?"

"Leave me alone, James! Stop trying to be some gallant hero." Lily snapped, regretting the words the moment they left her lips. But once the gateway was open, the rest of her fears came tumbling out. "There's nothing heroic about anything we're doing. All we are doing is sticking our thumbs in a dam that's already flooded the city."

"I... thumbs?" James looked almost heartbroken in his confusion. She might have laughed.

"Never mind. You didn't bother to pay attention in Muggle Studies at all, did you!"

"Lily, this isn't about Hogwarts. And don't you dare treat me like the thirteen year old boy that plastered the walls with your photo! I'm your _husband_ and I love you."

"Oh, as if I don't love you."

"Lily, stop!" James grabbed both of her hands. She struggled to free herself, cursing softly.

"Let me go!" She said, tears filling up her eyes until she couldn't see.

"Lily, please. _Please_ talk to me."

Before she knew it she was sobbing openly. James moved the tray quickly and scooted forward, and she gripped him like the last rope over the final drop. She buried her face in his robes and clutched him, while he soothed her with shushing and nonsense words and smoothed her hair from her face. As soon as she could breathe she was speaking, but she didn't know if it was even understandable.

"Couldn't do... couldn't do anything, totally stupid, forgot all that training, what's the point then! Marlene died right there in my arms, James! She came out to help us and I couldn't help her. Not any kind of a Healer, stupid, worthless." The words came out between sobs, beneath tears and mucous and a bit of drool. It was messy and hard and she hated herself for it. "Supposed to be the levelheaded one, supposed to be so damn clever."

She kept talking, kept babbling really, she didn't even know what she was trying to say anymore, the words just kept pouring out of her. Not once did James try and stop her, or try and slow her down. He didn't speak, just delicately combed his fingers through her hair, gently kissed her temple. Eventually she stopped crying. The sobs continued, dry ones that made her shake. But James never let go of her.

Finally, it seemed like hours had gone by before she raised her head. He touched her cheek. "It's okay to be scared. It's okay to not want to go back right away. Listen, we're all human. We all fuck up. You didn't do your job and I didn't do mine either. I was supposed to protect Dorcas. I did nothing. We didn't think they'd launch a full scale attack. We didn't think they even knew when Dorcas was supposed to be released. The rumors we spread were that she was going to be in there for months. It's shitty, and hard, and it isn't supposed to be like this."

She nodded slowly. "I hate it when you get all charming and gallant."

"I know, I'm terrible. I'll try to be more bumbling if you'd like."

"No no. If I wanted that I'd have married Remus."

"You considered Remus?" James said with a raised eyebrow.

"For a moment, perhaps. He's quite a good kisser. Oh don't give me that face. It was perfectly innocent. We've got no chemistry."

He still narrowed his eyes. She kissed him gently, and he grinned. "Alright, I suppose I forgive you for your transgression."

She laughed and sat up a bit more. He smiled sweetly at her. "Do you feel better now then?"

"Yes, I do."

"Now, will you come with me to see Remus?"

She sighed. "No. I don't think I will today. I do feel better James, but... I think it would just be... I'll go tomorrow. Today I've got a letter to send to the hospital."

"All right. I like that idea." He kissed her forehead and stood. "I'll be back in a little while. _Incendio_."

His well-aimed spell warmed the cup of tea on the tray, and she shot him a pleased look as he left the bedroom.

[][][][][][]

"You don't need to be here all hours of the day." Remus said weakly as Sirius entered the room.

"I'm here for the coffee, really. It's delicious." Sirius said, sipping from the small cardboard cup. The expression on his face told Remus that it was indeed a lie.

"Mhm." Remus shifted slightly, grunting as it twisted his side.

"Would you stop moving?" Sirius said in annoyance, sitting back down in his chair.

"Would you stop nagging?" Remus shot back with just as much annoyance.

Sirius fell silent immediately, gazing at Remus flatly. Now he was pouting. And Remus felt guilty again. Ever since he'd ended up in St. Mungo's Sirius had been staying at his bedside almost all day and nearly all night. The Healers kicked him out not to much longer after dark.

At least because of his "condition" he was given his own room. A nice, bright room, far away from everyone else. He sighed as the nurse entered. Sirius leaned back in his chair to look casual. He even winked at the young Healer, who tittered as she set down Remus' painkilling potion for the day.

"You are such a loyal friend, Sirius."

"I could stand to be a bit less loyal. When are you getting off work?" He waggled his eyebrows and leaned forward. That lock of hair fell into his face, and Remus curled his fingers into a fist. Sirius gave her one last smirk as she handed over the vial of potion and left.

Remus silently drank, gagging a bit. Sirius looked at him and tilted his head to the side in worry.

"How are you feeling?"

"Ask me again in five minutes." Remus said slowly, letting the potion sink in.

"James said he would be by later." Sirius said brightly. "He's been taking care of Lily."

"Oh. I suppose she had a giant hole in her side." Remus said. That was petty, and he knew it. And Sirius knew it, but he plowed on diligently.

"You never did tell me how the full moon went."

"They sedated me very heavily." Remus said curtly.

"You know I think I deserve better treatment than this." Sirius said. He was upset, and rightly so, but Remus didn't feel like giving him the satisfaction of apologizing.

"Better treatment? Should I try and charm your pants off like you did to the nurse?"

"I don't need this. I've been pretty damn loyal to you. I flirt with girls, that's not some big shocker to you. So either we talk about what's really bothering you or you shut the hell up and be grateful I'm here."

Remus narrowed his eyes and stared at the bedsheets. Sirius had sat up during his little tirade, as though he were about to get out of the chair and leave. As Remus stayed silent, the dark-haired boy slowly sank back down.

"You should go." Remus finally said quietly.

"What?" Sirius looked shocked by this.

"You should leave. Go home." Remus repeated, exhaling as he finally felt the potion affect him. The pain in his side eased, as did much of the anger in his system. He wasn't speaking out of anger. Rather just exhaustion and exasperation.

Sirius sat in the chair a moment longer, glaring at Remus. Remus wanted to look up, to take it back. And yet at the same time he did not. He didn't look up from the vicinity of his knees as Sirius got out of the chair and stormed out of the room.

He couldn't help but sigh in relief. It was the first time he had been awake and alone in the room since a week ago. Sirius or a Healer had been in the room constantly. Especially Sirius, he was always there. At first it had been touching and maybe a little romantic, but now Remus had had time to think about things and frankly he wanted to be alone for that.

He gazed down at his fingernails. They'd been washed multiple times, but he could still see dried blood on them. Someone else's blood. He turned his hands over, hiding his nails from view. His _claws_.

An image came back of a bleeding face. Someone he might have once known. Passed in the hallway maybe. Hell, even shared a class with. Someone who was a human being underneath the dark robes. Remus wasn't even _that_ underneath his robes.

Fingers traced familiar scars over his face, lightly touching spots on his chest and arms that he knew held marred skin. Marked once by one bite. Marked again and again each time the moon rose. And now he'd marked someone else. Maybe not in a soul-crushing, life-altering way. But his nails had dug into flesh, and tore it, and the moon had laughed.

He couldn't even fear Voldemort as much as he feared himself.

[][][][][][]

Sirius paced up and down the waiting room. Every so often he'd glance back at the door to Remus' room. He felt angry. And helpless, which only made him feel more angry. He hated being helpless. There was always something to do. A prank, a joke, a laugh. Why hadn't he told a joke instead of yelling at Remus?

"Padfoot?" James appeared down the hallway, waving. "I thought you'd be in the room."

He scowled. "He doesn't want me in there."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing, he's in a mood." Sirius flopped into a chair and sighed. James glanced at the door, then back at Sirius, before sitting in a chair across from him.

"How's he doing?"

"He's more irritable than a two dollar tart. And just about as attractive."

"More than that, Pads. _How_ is he doing. You've been here... a lot more than I have."

Sirius gave James a look. "Hell yes, have you seen some of the Healers here?"

"My wife is one of the Healers here." James said pointedly.

"Well way to take the fun out of ogling."

"You're avoiding the subject."

"What was the subject?"

"Moony's state of mind."

"How the fuck should I know? I keep trying to talk to him, Merlin knows that isn't a very enjoyable experience for either of us." Sirius knew he wasn't making this easy for James, but he didn't want to. Sirius could easily talk about everything that was bothering Remus and himself, but that would mean giving away a closely guarded secret and he really couldn't do that. Saying something like 'Remus gets annoyed when I flirt with girls' wouldn't really make any sense to James.

James sighed. He had that fatherly look to him, the one that Sirius hated. Now that James didn't have any parents, he seemed to think that made him a surrogate parent to everyone else. All that Head Boy nonsense hadn't really helped either.

"Listen, Sirius, the battle was hard on him."

"So what? I nearly died too, just cause I didn't get a hole blasted in me because I didn't even dodge because of some stupid sense of self-hatred-" Sirius cut himself off as James raised an eyebrow.

"You nearly died because you refused to jinx a Death Eater who was trying to kill you."

"He was my brother, Prongs!"

"He's not anymore." The bespectacled boy acted as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

"You don't understand! You've never had a brother."

"I have three brothers." James said calmly. "And I can tell you right now that if it were you under that mask I'd still have hexed you within an inch of your life."

Sirius slumped into the chair. "Well I'm not wired that way, James."

"I know you aren't. That's why we're talking."

"I hate talking."

"I know." James said with a smirk. "But look at you doing it like a champ. It's almost like you're a grown-up."

"Shut up, you plonker." Sirius said with a huff.

"Come on, you can't honestly tell me that you aren't surprised that Regulus is a Death Eater."

"No... I guess I'm not." Sirius conceded. "I just... I dunno, I've never thought about who the Death Eaters actually are. Now I'm thinking... how many of them are Blacks? Malfoys? People I'm _related_ to, Prongs."

"People you hate, Padfoot." James said pointedly.

"But I've never wanted them dead! Well... that's not true... but not enough to use an Unforgivable. He used the Killing Curse on me!"

"You can't think of them as people."

"Well I wasn't until that mask came off. I did just fine." Sirius exhaled loudly out his nose and sighed. "I didn't think of them as people before. Now... now I'm remembering every Slytherin I ever met. I mean shit, Snivellus was probably there today and I don't think I could summon up enough effort to kill him either, though Merlin knows I've thought about it time and time again."

"So don't kill them."

"That's not the point. None of us use Killing Curses but that doesn't mean we don't mean harm when we jinx them. I saw you use that Blasting Curse on the wall, don't tell me that the Death Eater that it fell on isn't in hospital or a coffin right now."

James frowned. "I know that. But I don't care."

"Well I guess I'm not as heartless as you."

"Shut up, git."

"Wanker."

"Hag."

"Ghoul."

"Troll-brains."

"Asshat."

James narrowed his gaze and stared at Sirius. "I am way too mature to engage in childish games with you Sirius."

That made Sirius laugh, and shake his head. "Right, because you are _so_ mature. Troll-brains, honestly, did you just make that up off the top of your head?"

"I was running out of insults."

"Hmph. Two years ago we could have gone on for ten minutes you know." Sirius looked disappointed, and James rolled his eyes.

"All right, fine. Do you want me to talk to Remus?"

Sirius gave him a sheepish look, glancing sideways at the door. "Yeah, maybe he'll listen to you."

James leaned over and clapped Sirius on the shoulder. It felt a bit like Hogwarts again, as James looked at him. _Everything'll turn out okay_. Sirius smiled back. _Of course it will_.

[][][][][][]

"God, I didn't think I'd miss the bed this much." Remus sank into the sheets. "Did you... did you change the sheets?"

"Fluffed the pillows too." Sirius sat on the bed next to him, helping Remus grab the blankets and pull them up.

"That was... very nice." Remus said, raising an eyebrow. "You know I'm not up to doing anything."

Sirius fluttered his eyelashes. "Don't be silly, dah-ling. I expect nothing in return except for your undying gratitude."

"Yeah, right."

"No really. Your gratitude. Plus you know, now you owe me big time."

Remus sighed and smiled a bit at Sirius. "Thank you. Of course you have my undying gratitude."

Sirius kissed his forehead. "Good. Want some tea."

"Er, no thanks, I'm fine." Remus said, relaxing into the very thoroughly fluffed pillows and smoothing the sheet over his stomach. "When do I get my next potion?"

"Not for another three hours. Nurse said there's a risk of becoming addicted, and you don't want that."

"Stop being so nice to me. Honestly."

"Sorry." Sirius said sincerely, laying down on his side facing Remus. "I'm glad you're feeling better. And I'm glad you're home."

"Cut it out." Remus chewed on his lower lip, and Sirius laughed.

"I can't help it."

"Yes you can. Call me a plonker."

"You're a plonker."

"Punctuating it with a kiss doesn't help. Now I feel guilty."

"Why?"

"I _was_ a plonker." Remus said, crossing his arms over his chest and then wincing a bit.

"Remus, you've already apologized like five times, and I forgave you. Now calm down." Sirius kissed his temple again, and then froze as a silvery-white phoenix flew through the bedroom wall to hover.

"Meeting tonight. Your Portkey will be delivered in thirty minutes. This meeting is extremely important." Dumbledore's voice issued from the beak of the Patronus, and then it flew off again.

"Great. A meeting I can't go to." Remus said weakly.

"I'll tell you everything." Sirius assured him.

"Hmph. Go comb your hair."

"Yes, ma'am." Sirius saluted and got up to head into the bathroom. Remus waited and stuck his tongue out at Sirius when the other left the room. He always felt childish when he was trapped in his bed all day.

[][][][][][]

Moody eyed James carefully as he walked through the door. They were at Moody's home, of all places, unfamiliar to James, though Emmeline, Caradoc, and even Hagrid found seats in the sitting room as though they'd been here before. Dumbledore was already there, surprisingly enough, relaxing in an armchair and drinking a dainty cup of tea.

Sirius waved at James from a loveseat, and James motioned to Lily. She took the available cushion, and he sat on the arm crossing his arms over his stomach and waiting. When Peter arrived a few moments later, he sat on a small ottoman near the loveseat, though the leather made a noise whenever he moved.

People crowded in. Fabian and Gideon, Harold Greene – their clever Ravenclaw – Kingsley, Frank and Alice, Edgar Bones, Elphias Doge, and Sturgis Podmore. There were even a few that James had never met before, a young woman probably around Frank's age with blond hair, and two elderly witches who were most likely sisters, since they looked so similar and even wore the exact same pointed and decorated hat, just in different colors.

"Thank you everyone." Dumbledore said, stopping the small chats that had been sprung between the members. "I'm glad to see we have such a large turn out. I leave it to the rest of you to share the important details of this meeting with those of our number who cannot be here today. Mr. Black, you will tell Mr. Lupin, and young Miss Jarvis will be informing our friends at the Ministry."

"We'll be sharing information with our friends in the country." One of the older witches in a pink and lavender hat spoke up, smiling with her eyes closed. "Constance and I are always sure to spread 'the good word', so to speak."

"Indeed, Mabel, thank you." Dumbledore said. The room quieted once more, Mabel in her pink and lavender hat smiling sweetly, and Constance in a blue and brown hat sipping delicately from a cup of tea.

After a moment of silence Dumbledore began again. "The battle that we all fought in not quite two weeks ago was a devastating one. We've had several casualties, thankfully only a few deaths. Marlene was unfortunate. Dorcas as well. Especially because now that means we no longer have an Order member close to the Minister. He is in grave danger in that case. Miss Jarvis and those at the Ministry are working to encourage the Minister to choose another of our number to replace her, but it is difficult."

James snorted without realizing it. Sirius and Lily looked at him, both raising their eyebrows in a comically similar expression. He fell silent again.

"I think that it is time to reveal to you all a suspicion that I have had for some time." Dumbledore said calmly. "I believe there is a spy among us."

The silence in the room deepened. Not even a gasp denoted surprise at the sentiment. Dumbledore nodded in agreement with the horror on everyone's faces. "I believe that someone is revealing information to the Death Eaters. As such, everyone in this room is under intense scrutiny. All your friends, coworkers, and even family members will be analyzed. I apologize for this, but it is the only way we can discern-"

"Wait a bloody minute."

Everyone turned to look as James stood up off the arm of the sofa. Dumbledore peered curiously over the rim of his half-moon glasses. "Yes, James?"

"How long have you suspected?"

"Since the attack on Frank and Alice's home. Our investigation discovered traces of a Tracking Spell, though we did not know on whom it was placed."

James noticed Peter fidget below him, but ignored it. "That's last year! You've known for _months_! What the hell are you playing at, not telling us until now?"

"I had no way to know for sure."

"You could have shared your suspicions with the rest of us! With the people you are supposed to fucking trust! This is complete bullshit!" The older members of the Order gasped, and Lily reached out to touch James' sleeve. He shook her off and pointed a finger accusingly at Dumbledore. "You could have warned us long before St. Mungo's! You could have told us that we might come across a problem. Instead you told me to go bumbling in there, to make sure Dorcas got home safe. Just an 'escort', you called me, in case there was trouble. Well there was bloody trouble all right! And it could have been avoided! We could have had more back-up! More warning!"

"He said he didn't know for su-"

"Shut up, Sirius!" James said. He was not about to be consoled. "What the fuck do you do all day in that fucking office, Professor? Sit and wank to the portraits of previous headmasters?"

"James." Lily's voice was loud, firm, and angry. Her grip on his arm was far more firm now, and he stood, breathing loudly. "Enough."

Dumbledore hadn't even twitched a facial muscle during the entire tirade. James gazed at him with narrowed eyes. "No, Lily. He's right. I made a mistake at St. Mungo's. I should have told you all my worries before now. I should have protected Dorcas better."

"Well it's too fucking late for _that_, isn't it." James said, his voice now quiet. He jerked away from Lily and left the house.

He slumped onto a large rock in the front garden. His hands were pooled in his lap. He stared at them. These hands. These hands that had held onto Dorcas as she fell. He could see her face as clearly as if she were right in front of him at that moment. Twisted in fear and shock.

Red eyes with pupils like slits bored into his brain, and he pressed his fists to his forehead as though he could push the image out.

"Who's been looking after you then?"

He didn't look up at Sirius. "Go away."

"See now, I don't think I will." He heard Sirius slump into the grass next to the rock. "Seems to me that the marvelous James 'Prongsie' Potter has been running all over and taking care of everyone else, but he seems to have forgotten the most important one of all."

"I'm fine."

"Liar." Sirius said, punching James' knee. "You just called Albus Percival Whosiwhatsits Dumbledore a _wanker_ in the middle of an Order meeting. In front of just about everyone."

James let out a laugh, but it was nearly a sob. He pulled his face away from his hands and rubbed his sleeve over his eyes. He wasn't crying per say, but his eyes felt itchy, like he was about to at any moment. "She didn't have to die. Marlene didn't have to die. If I was better, smarter, faster, if Dumbledore had _told_ us, if we had stopped Voldemort, if-"

"If you start thinking in 'ifs' you won't get out of bed in the morning." Sirius said lightly, leaning back in the grass and looking up at the early spring sky.

"If only that was an option." James said weakly, looking up at a wispy cloud.

"You don't have to be the great hero all the time. You are human. You make mistakes. We're all human here. Even Headmaster, Professor, Order Secret-keeper and Duelist Extraordinaire Albus Dumbledore is human underneath the pointy hat and two-foot long beard."

James knew he should laugh at that to reassure Sirius, but he couldn't muster the mirth. "He's not supposed to be."

Sirius sighed, almost in exasperation. "But he is. And I think that Dorcas' death is affecting him just as badly as it's affecting you."

"You'd think he'd show it."

"_James_."

"All right all right. Dumbledore makes mistakes, I need to be easier on myself, and Dorcas' death was not my fault. Was that everything?"

"And you should apologize."

James scowled at Sirius, but his friend was right. "Since when did you become the therapist?"

"Remus is a very good influence." Sirius grinned. James rolled his eyes.

"All right. I'll apologize too."

"Good man. Come on, Lily is worried sick."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Ugh so angsty. Very long chapter for you guys. Well as you probably figured out, just about everyone got fucked up in the last battle. So I felt it was important to have everyone go through a process in this chapter. Plus I think it's really important for James to undergo the same transformation that Harry did. Concerning Dumbledore of course. The idea of Dumbledore moving from flawless and unquestionable leader to someone who was just as human as everyone else, and made just as many mistakes. I find it quite easy to write drama llama material for some reason. It tends to flow a lot better. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy, as always.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _So many new reviewers lately. I'm really glad I'm attracting so many people! And of course thank you as always to my loyal readers as well.


	53. Chapter 53: A Spy in Their Midst

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: March/April, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Hey Pete."

Peter looked up in shock to see Adrian hovering over him. He had been on his knees scrubbing a long line of noxious-smelling potion from the side of the corridor. He stood, blinking in surprise. "Adrian, what happened?"

Down the front of Adrian's face was a long, jagged scar. It stretched from his right cheek down below his nose, skipping over his lips and ending at the cleft in his chin. There was another, thinner one beside it, on his cheek, and then one dangerously close to his eye on the other side. From this angle as well Peter could see four small half-healed cuts on the left side of Adrian's throat, and one more on the right.

The man snorted. "Met a friend of yours. He gave me a gift."

"A friend of _mine_?" Peter said in confusion.

"Doesn't matter. I'm taking you someplace tonight. Wear your best dress robes. My Lord wants to meet the man who's making our victory possible."

Peter was completely bewildered by this. "What Lord? What victory?"

"Merlin Peter, you are stupid." Adrian said, the pink skin of his scars reddening as he narrowed his eyes. "Doesn't matter. Just get dressed and wait for me at your place. I'll be there to pick you up and take you to Rodolphus'."

With that Adrian turned down the hall and left Peter standing there with a smelly rag in his hand and a confused look on his face. What could he want? What was he even talking about? Did this have to do with their talks in the bar? What had he done? The memory of the tracking spell returned and anxiety bubbled up from his stomach and wrapped around his throat, squeezing tight.

[][][][][][]

"What's the latest?" James sat down on the edge of Frank's small desk in the Auror department. "And where's Moody? I have some newspaper clippings to give him."

"He's out on assignment. We've got a really good lead of a place in Scotland that might be hiding some known Death Eaters. We've been looking for Karkaroff for almost a year now. Unmasked him a long while ago."

"Speaking of, how's the search for Regulus Black coming?"

"The Black house is notoriously difficult to access unless they want you there. Apparently old Orion has become increasingly paranoid in the last two years. I don't think even Sirius could manage to find his way there anymore. They've actually wiped the address off the maps."

"Clever old plonker." James said with a sigh. "Don't talk to Sirius about it, okay? He's a bit touchy on that subject."

Frank nodded and held out his hand. "I'll take the paper clippings. I'm in charge for now. Scrimgeour is still off in Albania or wherever, will be for a few more months. Kingsley is on protection detail for the Minister, but Yiddles is apparently still got his thumb up his arse cause he's only letting Kingsley follow him during the work day. Totally unprotected at home, it's stupid really. We know they're going to target him soon."

"And what about Alice?"

"That one's easy. She's home sick. She picked up the Finland Faints while she was up there seeking some information on some thefts. Seems dark objects in other countries are going missing. We think Borgin and Burkes' might be hiring thieves to do the dirty work and then using the shop to smuggle the objects in for Voldemort's use. A lot of them are super dangerous. We were afraid Alice might have picked up a curse, but St. Mungo's confirmed it was just the Faints. She'll be fine in a week or two."

"So they left you alone?" James looked at Frank, his head tilted to the side. Could Frank be the spy? No, loyal Frank, an Auror _and_ a Gryffindor. Never. But then again, he was off on Auror missions, investigating threats of Voldemort far and wide. Any one of the Aurors would be a prime candidate for it. Moody could be at that Death Eater camp right now, filling them all in on the latest Auror investigations. Alice could have been the thief herself, skulking into Borgin and Burkes' while pretending to be home sick, providing the Death Eaters with cursed objects for attacks on Muggles. And Kingsley could be waiting for his moment to strike, planned the murder of Dorcas, slid himself into position as the Minister's bodyguard so that one day without warning he could kill him and take over for the Dark Lord. No, no, he couldn't think that way. He couldn't think like Dumbledore. These people were his friends, loyal fellow warriors, they hated Voldemort and the Death Eaters as much as anyone.

"Not alone, there are half-a-dozen other Aurors out on London assignments so they come back every evening to fill out paperwork. Kingsley pops in every day after the Minister leaves for home. And Moody is on call for emergencies, he has a uh... Harold calls it a pager. Basically we hit this button here," He held up a small black rectangle with a blue button, "and it sends a signal or something to Moody, and it beeps, and he knows to come back to Auror HQ. It's weird, but it's one of the few devices that doesn't seem to go off when around magic. Harold said he did something fancy to it. I swear, the kid has a lifetime gig at the Ministry. Could become Minister someday if he wants."

"Clever." James said with a nod. "And if Yiddles keeps this up Harold could rise to power faster than expected."

"Hmph, as if we could get away with a Muggle-born Minister while the war is still going on. Fact is, people are trying not to make waves. Too many people scared of Voldemort to encourage the Ministry to do anything about it, while the Ministry is too scared of Voldemort to actually take action. All they do is make the Auror Department investigate deaths and thefts and missing persons. Half the looking we do for the Dark Lord and his cronies is not technically sanctioned by the Ministry. It's ridiculous."

James shook his head and gazed at the door out of Frank's office. "There isn't much we can do about that, is there? Voldy uses scare tactics and guerilla warfare. He fights dirty, and he's attracting more people every day. For Merlin's sake, Regulus is only 17 and he certainly was not of age when he was first recruited. And I'm positive that Snivellus joined up while we were still in school."

"Snivellus... oh, you mean Severus Snape. Too bad we don't have evidence to track him down." Frank said with a frown. "So few confirmed Death Eaters. And the suspected ones are damn good at keeping their noses clean. Lucius Malfoy has been on the list for a full year and a half and no sign whatsoever that he dons the pointy black cloak and goes out Muggle-killing in the dead of night."

"Hmm, I never expected him to join the Death Eaters right off. Something about getting his dainty hands dirty." James picked up a copy of Witch Weekly off of Alice's desk and flipped through it. "Did you see that article in the Daily Prophet? He just got promoted again. Daddy's influence in the Ministry certainly is helping him along."

"Shush. Abraxas is around here a lot." Frank said, glancing around in paranoia. "We think he's pressing us for information, so we avoid him."

James snorted and returned to Frank's cubicle. "What a joke."

"So how are you doing?" Frank asked pointedly as he adjusted the wedding picture of himself and Alice on his desk.

The other man wrinkled his nose and contemplated not answering the question, but eventually sighed. "I talked to Dumbledore a week or so ago. Apologized and the whole nine yards. I'm a good little Order member."

"Don't say it like that. Dumbledore is just concerned about the entire Order. Can you really blame him for not trusting anyone? After Katherine, and now this incident. It's almost terrifying. If you think about it. Knowing that Voldemort could know any location we are in and any move we make. Even with the Fidelius Charm there are many ways to get information from any member of the Order. Dumbledore is thinking of hiding each individual under himself as Secret-Keeper."

"Sounds like a good idea in theory, but why should we trust Dumbledore with such a secret? Our lives? Our families?" James said.

"That's a bit harsh for someone who said he apologized to Dumbledore."

"I have. That doesn't mean I'm not still holding this against him. We are his soldiers, he directs us where he wants us to go. After St. Mungo's, I'm starting to think we're more like pawns than warriors."

Frank looked worried at this. "I suppose."

"Anyway, I should get back. Lily's only working half-days now after the battle. She'll want lunch." He waved lightly to Frank, who waved back and started going through the articles from the Muggle newspaper that James brought in.

[][][][][][]

Peter looked up at the huge doorway of the home he was standing in front of. In the yard three winged horses trotted around calmly. Their wings were pinned together over their backs to prevent them from escaping, but they seemed perfectly content to eat grass and occasionally shake their heads. The house itself was a mix of white and black marble, three stories high and stretching for at least a hundred yards in each direction. Stone gargoyles peered down over the tops of the columns at him, lifeless but still terrifying. To the right, perched in a large tree, a Clabbert screeched and the pustule over its forehead turned red as it realized there were people in the vicinity. He turned his gaze back to the front. Over the top of the regal, emerald green door was a silver plaque that said "Lestrange Manor". The name rang a bell but he couldn't remember how. Obviously it was one of the Pureblood families though, old money and old magic.

Adrian jerked his arm closer to the door. "Come on, you don't keep my Lord waiting."

He reached up and grabbed the ring hanging from the mouth of the knocker. It was in the shape of a pewter dragon, the ring shone from years of hands touching, the rest was a more dingy grey. But it was carved in intricate detail, down to the imprints of scales along its body. Adrian knocked twice, and stood waiting. Peter found himself staring into the eyes of the dragon, could almost see it flapping its wings and roaring in anger.

The door opened, and a tiny house-elf wearing a fringed table-runner wrapped around its waist like a sarong stood there. "Master has been expecting you. Master is in the drawing room and doesn't wish Tinsel to join him." It squeaked, and then scurried away, leaving the door open.

Adrian walked in, still dragging Peter by the arm. They swept past a huge open foyer and up a grand staircase, Peter barely getting a chance to look at the lavishly decorated manor. The walls were covered in portraits with names on plaques, the moving pictures all looking regally bored. Elaborately embroidered tapestries adorned a few walls. Small tables held what appeared to be family heirlooms, Peter spotted a beautiful silver hand mirror with emeralds around the exterior, a golden clock that had no hands, but instead a live, enchanted fairy pointed the hour with her tiny arms, and a trio of miniature winged horses made of black stone that all trotted and fluttered their wings within a large glass case.

They continued on the second floor down a hallway that Adrian appeared to be familiar with. He stopped in front of a door and rapped his knuckles against it three times. The door opened without anyone behind it, and Adrian pulled Peter inside.

The room was luxuriously furnished with sofas, cushions, and a grand fireplace at one end, the flames nearly taller than Peter. They flickered from orange to blue, to purple, to stark white, and then back to orange again. Within the base of the fire blue salamanders scuttled around and made soft hissing noises, intermittent with the crackle of the flames.

Peter jerked his head at a sudden crunching noise, to see a hippogriff chained to a corner snap its powerful beak straight through a bone about as thick as Peter's forearm. Tremulously, he turned back to the couches and sofas as Adrian began to speak.

"My Lord, I bring you the one you asked for. Peter Pettigrew."

From a large armchair facing the fire a figure stood. Peter stared as it turned, and the milky white skin and large red eyes of the Dark Lord Voldemort were revealed to him. He was indeed thankful that Sirius and James had taught him proper bladder control after years of pranks.

The voice that issued from Voldemort send a horrifying tingle straight down to his toes. "Ah yes, the young Pureblood who has been so helpful to us. The information you provided has been extremely beneficial in our campaign."

"What? I haven't given you any information, I don't understand why I'm here, I've never done anything-"

"Silence, Peter." Adrian gripped his shoulder near his throat, digging his nails in. "No one speaks unless my Lord requests it."

Voldemort held up a hand with long thin fingers. "Wait, Adrian. Peter is our friend. He has helped us greatly. We must treat him as an honored guest. Bellatrix, Rodolphus!"

At the words, two people appeared in the doorway behind Peter and walked past him toward Voldemort. The man was tall, gruff, fair-haired and with a noble nose. The woman walked confidently, her long black hair whipping behind her, her posture screaming her delight at entering the room. Didn't he know a Bellatrix from somewhere? The man bowed first, before straightening again and squaring his shoulders.

Bellatrix bowed low to him, not moving from the obedient pose as she spoke. "Yes my Lord."

"Have your elves prepare a small... snack. We will enjoy wine and cheeses while we discuss Peter Pettigrew's future. You and your husband are welcome to stay. I value your loyal opinions." Bellatrix's eyes glittered brightly at the compliments, and when she rose there were nearly tears in her eyes.

"Absolutely my Lord. Thank you. _TINSEL_!" Her voice went from soft and loving to a shriek as she turned.

With a crack the small house-elf in the table runner appeared in the room, trembling wildly. "Y-yes Mistress!"

"Wine for everyone, and arrange a tray of cheese and crackers. The finest we have." Bellatrix said, before snapping her fingers.

The elf squeaked and Disapparated once again, and Bellatrix's gaze became gentle as she looked back at Voldemort. Peter shivered at the expression on her face. It looked as though she wanted to jump his bones.

"Come Peter Pettigrew. Sit down." Voldemort motioned.

Peter hesitated. The red eyes flashed and his wand hand appeared from his sleeve. With the softest flick Peter was dragged forward across the floor and shoved into the sofa across from the armchair. He froze as he sat there, hands fisted into his robes.

Bellatrix and Rodolphus both sat themselves on a loveseat to the right of the armchair. Bellatrix took the spot closest to Lord Voldemort, sitting on the edge of the cushion, leaning toward him. Rodolphus looked like he was more interested in putting space between himself and Bellatrix than himself and Voldemort. Adrian sat next to Peter on the couch, his wand across his thigh as though he was worried Peter would take off.

Voldemort tapped his wand against the armchair and it scooted forward a few inches. He sat down, smoothing his black robes over his legs vainly before speaking. "Your house-elves are inefficient, Bellatrix."

She nodded immediately. "Old and useless."

"They should be replaced." He commented lightly, fingering his wand. "And the old ones must be dealt with."

Bellatrix's mouth turned into a demure smile that didn't match the excitement and affection in her eyes. "I will have it done immediately, my Lord."

"Good. Servants of our noble houses must remain vigilant at all times."

Moments later, Tinsel reappeared, the large tray of wine, wine glasses, and a platter of cheese and fancy breads bigger than her by at least a foot. She unsteadily hurried to the table in front of the three pieces of furniture near the fireplace and set it down.

Bellatrix looked at Tinsel in anger. "You were too slow. Now begone! I'll deal with you later."

Tinsel vanished once again with a horrified squeak. Voldemort pointed his wand at the tray. The wine bottle became uncorked, and lifted up to pour dark burgundy liquor into each of the five glasses. "Please, take a glass, Peter."

He immediately leaned forward to take it. When he had the glass between his fingers, the other four took their glasses. Voldemort swirled the liquid, but did not drink. Bellatrix and Rodolphus sipped delicately, and Adrian took a swig almost immediately.

After Peter drank, he leaned forward to take a slice of cheese, mostly to steady his nerves. Voldemort watched him, and then narrowed his gaze. "You are in polite company, Peter. Use a napkin."

Peter instantly obeyed, laying the napkin in his lap and gazing at the floor for a moment. Bellatrix made a noise. "My Lord, may I speak?"

"Indeed. What is your concern, Bellatrix."

"You know that I am loyal to you for as long as you will have me." She began. "This boy has shown no such loyalty to any group. He betrays those closest to him! I know he was friends with my worthless cousin and the Potter boy, and now he's giving away their information? How can we trust him not to become a triple agent?"

"Cause he's too stupid to pull it off." Adrian scoffed. He looked at Voldemort and inclined his head respectfully. "Begging your pardon, my Lord, but Pettigrew makes a perfect tool because he was too dumb to realize he was being used. He doesn't even know basic Latin. Even his friends think he is worthless."

"Pettigrew is not worthless." Voldemort said delicately, still swirling the wine. "He is our greatest asset at this moment in time."

Peter gazed up at Voldemort. Despite his fear, despite the hatred he was feeling, despite everything else, this statement made him feel a bit... happy. He had been used and abused by Adrian for months now, but Voldemort thought he was useful, worth something, an _asset_. What were the chances that the Order considered him an asset?

"I want to welcome you into the Death Eaters, Peter." Voldemort said, gazing directly at him. "You have proven that you are close to Dumbledore and the rest of his compatriots. I need the information that I can't... extract from other people. You have already enabled us to kill several Order members, and pave the way to getting rid of the Minister later on."

"What if... I don't want to become a Death Eater?" Peter asked, his voice quiet. Bellatrix's eyes widened, and she stood.

"Vile little worm! You deny the _greatest_ honor that our Lord can bestow? He has invited you into his inner circle as his loyal servant!" She whipped out her wand. Voldemort just watched. "_Crucio_!"

White-hot, blinding pain rippled through him. A voice screamed in his ears, his own voice, and he jerked. Adrian scooted over disdainfully on the sofa as Peter writhed, slumping to the ground. When she stopped he didn't even realize it until sweet relief coursed through him.

"Get up, Peter." Voldemort said curtly. Peter struggled back onto the sofa, clutching his chest. "Let me make this perfectly clear. You are not being given a choice. I know how to treat those who deny my great gifts. I am being extremely generous with you, Peter. I could easily Imperius your weak-willed, tiny mind. Instead I am welcoming you. You are a Pureblood. We need people like you in the fold. You can become one of my flock, and together we can build a new era in Wizarding Britain, and soon, the world."

Bellatrix smiled serenely as she sat down. Voldemort paused a moment, watching Peter's face, and then continued. "There is no refusal. If you try and deny this, you will suffer as no other man has suffered in this world. We will not kill you. We will instead ensure that you are the living dead, trapped in your own mind forever. Bellatrix knows the cost of the Cruciatus Curse, and she is _extremely_ skilled at it."

She puffed out her chest and looked as though she were about to explode with ecstasy at being complimented. "Thank you dearly, my Lord."

"Indeed. So then, Peter. What is your answer? Rewards beyond measure... or pain like you have never known?"

Peter was silent, but not for long. "I will join you."

Voldemort leaned back, finally sipping from the wine glass. "Perfect. However, you will not yet become a true Death Eater. First you must show your dedication. There are certain pieces of information we need. Adrian, escort him home, and let no one see him. Your status as a spy needs to be the focus now. No more hanging out with suspected Death Eaters. Adrian is one of the few of our number without a pending investigation. He will be your gateway. Only with him will you come here. He will also keep track of your movements, and he will ensure that you remain loyal to us. I have many people to send for you if you turn on me, Pettigrew. Not even Dumbledore can protect you from me. Or from Bellatrix."

Adrian stood, and Peter followed, walking behind him out of the drawing room where Bellatrix was laughing, and Voldemort was sipping his wine. Now it all became so clear. A rat. He always was one, and always would be.

[][][][][][]

A spy. In the Order. A spy responsible for so many deaths. Benjy, Dorcas, Marlene. Someone who had murdered those people even if they didn't have the wand in their hand. Remus stirred the soup on the stove and sighed quietly.

At least he was finally back on his feet. Sort of. He still limped around the house and he certainly wasn't in the mood for bedroom shenanigans, to Sirius' dismay. Plus he'd gained about fifteen pounds because he'd been sitting in bed for the last six weeks eating take away and the desserts that Sirius kept treating him with. He sighed as the stared at the soup, a watery chicken noodle that was going to help him fight off the early April chill and set him on the right path to getting back in shape.

"Heeeey Snookums." Sirius came in the front door, carrying a paper bag that was probably full of delicious Thai food.

"Why would you bring in that sacrilegious product?" Remus said, the smell of peanuty, noodly goodness reaching his nostrils and making his pathetic soup seem, well, pathetic.

"What? I picked up your favorite. And I told them to leave out the little green bits."

Remus felt his mouth water as Sirius set his chicken and noodle combination on the counter. With the little spicy red peppers, and crunchy bits of eggplant. He shuddered, and resolutely turned his gaze to his soup. "I have to lose the weight I gained while in bed for almost two months."

"Oh come on. You're such a woman. I think you look fine in those pants, honest. I think you'd look better out of those pants, but that's just me I think."

"It's not to look good. I'm far beyond that. But I need to be in shape. If a Death Eater walked through the door right now..."

That made his mind drift back to the spy. For a split second he looked at Sirius in contemplation. A tiny voice in his head said "_remember how he didn't attack Regulus_?" It was squashed immediately. Not even a second thought as he sighed in exasperation.

"Oh calm down. You can barely walk around."

"Hmph." Remus grunted and stirred the soup again.

"Oh come now." Sirius ruffled his hair, which he hated, and then kissed the side of his neck, which he did not hate.

He sighed for the third time in the last twenty minutes and reached for the square take-away box of peanut chicken deliciousness. Diet starts tomorrow, he reminded himself sternly as he reached for a noodle and sucked it into his mouth. Right, tomorrow.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Sooooo muuuuuch Peter. D; Now we finally see him becoming a rat, so to speak. Voldemort was hard to write. I think it's because he's such a figure in the HP books, that I had to sort of rethink him. After all, he doesn't have as much power as he did during HP. In the books he's a well-established evil entity, but at this point in time he's simply a terrifying shadow, no one knows where he is, who he's attacking, what he wants really, besides Pureblood superiority, obviously. Also, imagining Voldemort drinking wine was really weird to me. Like in my head he doesn't eat, sleep, or use the bathroom. xD But then again, he really was only human, wasn't he?

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _Your devotion to my story and my writing is truly amazing. Thank you!


	54. Chapter 54: Search and Rescue

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: April, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Fabian and Gideon haven't responded back to me in several days." Dumbledore looked over the rim of his glasses at the three young men standing around his office.

Remus was sitting in a chair, arms folded over his chest, looking attentive. James was leaning on the back of the other chair, refusing to sit down but still listening. Sirius on the other hand, was standing in front of a bookshelf and spinning a bright blue Sneakoscope boredly.

He remembered the first time he'd ever seen these three in his office. Over eight years ago now.

Petulant eleven year olds. Well, James and Sirius had been the petulant ones. Remus had appeared as though at any moment he was going to explode from shame and embarrassment. It was only the will of his friends that had kept him silent.

Little Peter had nearly been on the verge of tears. But not Sirius and James. They'd sat in the chairs with their heads held high. Sirius had gazed at him defiantly, his chin rose and his jaw square. He hadn't been even the slightest bit afraid. A noble Black turned on his head, in unfamiliar territory. It hadn't prevented him from doing his best to cause mayhem. And James. Staring back as though he was the best that there was. And indeed, their prank had been smart. Dumbledore didn't know that Peeves could be coerced into going into the girl's dormitory, nor that he could also be coerced into taking a pile of dungbombs with him.

The change over the years had been amazing. Cocky youngsters to men who wanted to rescue the world. James and his love for Lily. Remus and Sirius even.

"Caradoc as well was sent with them on their mission. They were last known to be in the Hebrides, but they might have returned to the Scottish mainland before the break of contact. I can understand the Prewetts possibly losing track of time and neglecting to contact me, but Caradoc has always been the responsible one of the three and that's why I entrust him to keep me informed."

"Alright, so what are we?" James said calmly, straightening. "Reconnaissance? Search and rescue?"

"Scouting would be the best term. We have no knowledge if this is simply a matter of them going off the grid for a little while in order to avoid detection, or if there is indeed an emergency. You three need to investigate with stealth what is going on from their last known location to determine the next plan of action." Dumbledore said calmly.

"Sounds like fun." Sirius said with a smirk, setting the Sneakoscope back down.

[][][][][][]

"I swear to god if one more mosquito bites me I'm going to spell myself. Magical detection and secrecy be damned!" Sirius said angrily as he grabbed a branch and yanked it back. He moved past it, and let go, and the branch swung forward, hitting him in the back of the head hard enough to send him into James, who fell into Remus like a bizarre set of dominoes.

"Keep it _down_." James hissed angrily. Remus reached into his re-purposed bookbag and pulled out a small vial.

"Rub this on your skin."

Sirius caught the small bottle and read the label. "_Bug-B-Gone, insect repellent for even the most delectable of wizards._" He raised an eyebrow and shook his head, pouring a bit on his hands and then applying it to his neck and forearms and ankles, all prime targets for the little buggers.

Remus paused. "D'you feel that?" He said quickly but quietly. Everyone froze, Sirius blinked and looked around. Remus was still the expert at feeling things, and those instincts – having saved them numerous times at Hogwarts – were now being put to the test.

"I'll scout." Sirius crouched and transformed into dog form. He pressed his nose to the ground, and then padded ahead. His paws hit the forest floor silently, and he sniffed the air.

Nothing. He returned to the two boys. James had fished the Invisibility Cloak out of his pack and was holding it out. "Remus, come on, take it. Sirius and I can go Animagi, it'll be fine."

"All right, all right. I hate this thing. Can barely see." Remus took the Cloak, and looked back over as Sirius reappeared from the brush in human form. "So?"

"Doesn't seem like anything is out there. But I have a prickle feeling." Sirius said, rubbing his arm. "It's a bit like when we were around that Shield over the encampment that one time, James."

"Hmm... yeah, I think I know what you mean." James looked up at the sky through the trees.

A few seconds later, it began to rain. James glared at the drops. Sirius snickered. "Well, maybe that was it."

[][][][][][]

"You know if James weren't right over there this would be kind of romantic." Sirius said quietly as he picked up another twig and tested it to see how wet it was. He handed it to Remus, who rolled his eyes.

"Yes, digging for dry twigs and branches to make a fire so we can sleep in that oh-so-comfortable tent is just like out of a novel." Remus shoved a piece of hair from his face impatiently and stacked up the twigs.

"So remind me why we can't just use magic to make a fire?"

"Because we're 'off the grid'. We don't know if there are any magical detection charms. That's also why you and James shouldn't be going Animagus every ten seconds. They can detect that shit you know."

"Stop being so angry. We'll be fine. You do great barrier and repellent charms."

Remus sighed and gathered up the wood. "How am I supposed to do a charm without using magic?"

Sirius scowled. "Not having magic sucks. How do Muggles do this?"

They returned finally, and James gave them a look, and motioned to the ground. He'd cleared away a small circle of dirt and lined it with stones so that the fire wouldn't spread outside the circle. Remus started propping up sticks in the middle in a tent-like shape. James had even set up the tent they were going to share, obviously without magic because it was forbidden, but he'd done it properly anyhow. Sirius felt seriously out of the loop.

"How do you guys know how to do all this?"

"I read the instruction manual." James said, holding out a small booklet with a picture of a tent on it. "It's not rocket science."

"We used to go camping. In the summers when I wasn't hanging with you guys, we'd head down toward the beaches and find a nice spot. All Muggle camping, mind you." Remus said with a small smile. He pulled a box from his book bag. Inside it were a hundred small tiny sticks with red tips.

"Oh, I know what those are." Sirius said as he watched Remus scrape the red tip of one across the box, causing it to burst into flame. "Matches. Muggle version of Incendio."

"Wow, you remember that from Muggle Studies?" Remus looked surprised, watching the dry leaves at the bottom slowly catch fire, and then the flames danced up the twigs. Sirius stuck out his tongue at him. Within a minute or two they had a nice little fire going, and Remus placed the larger branches around the edges so they could push them into the flames when they started to die.

"Everyone will have a take a watch." James said. "We've got to use our instincts instead of barrier magic. No worries of Muggles out here in the middle of nowhere. Wands ready, but do not use them unless we're attacked. Who wants to go first?"

Sirius and Remus looked at each other, and Remus smirked. "I'll do it."

James nodded. "Great, then we'll heat up some dinner. Take a page from Moody."

Sirius, James, and Remus all said the familiar words at the same time. "Constant vigilance!"

[][][][][][]

Remus gazed up at the sliver of moon between the trees. His one fear was the one thing that followed him everywhere. It was like someone being afraid of air, or water. The moon was a constant companion to the earth. He'd gotten used to it, he supposed. Having friends who helped him through teenager hormones and transformations. Having a... lover – he supposed (Sirius just didn't fit the role of traditional lover) – helping him through them now. He looked back at the tent. He could hear Sirius snoring a little bit. He never snored loudly. It was a noise that was a part of Remus' normal night time sounds. Crickets chirping, the breeze rattling the loose window in the bedroom, and Sirius' staccato nostrils next to his ear.

It was surprisingly chilly. He hadn't thought that mid-April would be so cold, even after dark. He pulled his robes around himself more firmly. The fabric was weak anyway, with several patch jobs. The early spring wind went right through them like they were nothing.

A blanket draped over his shoulders. He looked up, expecting to be thanking Sirius, but instead a pair of hazel eyes behind square-rimmed glasses peered down at him. "Prongs? Thanks."

"I can't sleep." James said, collapsing next to him on the grass.

Remus yawned. "Why? I'm exhausted from hiking all day."

"I'm so used to sleeping next to Lily." He admitted. "With you two guys it's like being back at Hogwarts. I dunno, I guess I'm restless."

"I get what you mean." Remus said, though he really didn't. He didn't feel restless, only tired, and a bit anxious. He gazed out at the woods. "I can't shake that feeling."

"Well you've never failed us before." James said with a grin. "Can't tell you how many scrapes we might have gotten into if it weren't for your sixth sense."

Remus listened hard, and looked out into the darkness equally hard, but really he couldn't see or hear anything unusual. "This is just a normal forest though. I don't even see the need to avoid magic."

"As long as we're on the search, we won't try and attract any attention." James warned. "Fibeon and Caradoc's last known were somewhere in this vicinity. That means that either they found something, or something found them. We've got to hope it's the former, and they went off the grid in order to gather more information without being caught."

"Three days doesn't seem like a long time to be out of contact if they are way the hell out here." Remus commented, propping his chin up on one hand and tugging the blanket more tightly around himself.

"Dumbledore has a feeling." James said, frowning.

The scarred young man looked over at his friend, watching the way he was methodically tearing up pieces of grass from the ground and twisting them between their fingers. "Why did you agree to do this mission? I thought you and Dumbly were having a spat."

"It's not that simple." He said, fingernails scratching out lines in the dirt. "Sure, I'm angry at him. But he's still our leader, and he's still the one with all the information and the plans. We don't have much of a choice in resistance fighters."

"Heh, you make it sound like some interstellar space battle against the Empire."

"...what?"

"Never mind. You still could have refused."

"I want the Prewetts and Caradoc back safe more than I want to make Dumbledore annoyed." James said reasonably.

Remus looked at him, smiling as he marveled at the changes in James. Sirius, frankly, wasn't much different from the joking, cavorting, cocky boy he had been. James though, had left most of that behind. It had a downside though. Remus couldn't remember the last time that James had laughed. Couldn't remember the last time that he really seemed to enjoy himself. It was all about the war, all about the Order.

"If you don't stop worrying, you'll end up going grey earlier than I am." Remus said, touching his temple where he knew a few strands of grey hair were sneaking their way in. 19 and grey hairs were appearing. He shouldn't be surprised really. Werewolves were notorious for aging more quickly because of the strain on their bodies.

James smirked and elbowed Remus' arm. "Makes you look older and more dashing."

Remus grunted his opinion of that statement, and James sighed, returning his gaze to the fire. After a moment's contemplation his toes shoved another log onto the flames, watching a cloud of smokes and sparks fly up into the darkness as the log landed on the fire.

"Well, if you're awake, can I go to bed?" Remus requested after their companionable silence started to turn awkward.

"What?" James said, as though he hadn't been listening. He probably hadn't. "Oh, oh yeah. Go ahead."

Remus stood, tucking the blanket around himself as he headed into the tent, crawling over near where Sirius was, and climbing into the sleeping bag next to him. Sirius rolled over towards him, and Remus firmly pushed him back into place. James did not need to come in and see the two of them spooning when he needed Sirius to take over the watch.

[][][][][][]

"It's been three days. If I have to sleep on the ground one more night my brain will explode." Sirius said angrily.

"Weren't you the one that said this would be fun?" Remus said, kicking a log in his way. It hit Sirius in the ankles, and he was given a scathing look.

"Shut up. I thought it would be glorified. Hunting down Death Eaters and rescuing our friends from the clutches of evil. We'd swoop in on broomstick and be gone before they even had a chance to react." Sirius, not looking in front of him, ran headfirst into the branch that James had just artfully ducked beneath to avoid. "Fucking mooncalf dung!"

Remus slid underneath the branch as well, and gazed around. "James, do you even know where we are?"

"We've been canvassing the same five mile radius." James said.

"Do you have like... a map or something?" Sirius said forlornly. A map would be wonderful right about then.

James sighed in exasperation. "No, just the last known. Remus, what are you doing?"

Remus had stopped moving, and was now digging furiously through his book bag. "Getting out my 'Atlas of the Hebrides'."

James and Sirius stared. The bespectacled boy narrowed his gaze. "You've had... a map... this WHOLE TIME?"

"Well I didn't know you were going to get us lost!" Remus said in protest. "I thought you actually had some small idea where the fuck we were going!"

"Don't yell at me, if you had a map you should have gotten it out. You're the fucking smart one!"

"Obviously I'm the _only_ smart one." Remus said, whipping out the book and brandishing it angrily in the air above his head.

"Guys..." Sirius said, hesitating and raising his head to look around.

"Yeah, well if you're so damn smart _you_ figure out where we are!"

"Guys..."

"I think I will! Since you were the stupid one who decided it was brilliant to just go marching into the Scottish north with no preparation!"

"_Petrificus Totalus_." Sirius hissed angrily, pointing the wand between his two friends. They instantly froze, eyes wide as they each collapsed backwards. Remus' book rolled into the wet muck on the ground.

He waited a moment. Then he heard it again. A laugh? So close. He nodded his head and pointed his wand down at them. "Now, I'm going to let you go, and you are going to get up, and calmly and quietly we will move forward and find out what that noise was. Understand?"

They couldn't move of course, but they were clearly agreeing with their eyes. When he released them, they both gathered themselves up and stood. Remus delicately cleaned the book off with his jacket, before tucking it away.

With Sirius leading the way, they all inched forward. After about a hundred yards, Sirius paused. He felt it again, the itching sensation of a magical barrier. He reached out his wand, and felt a shimmer. "Here." He whispered.

"Can you breach it?" James said. "At least so we can see what's going on?"

"I think I can take it down, but I don't know if someone will notice. Barriers this powerful don't just collapse."

"Then we'll go in wands out." James said. Remus behind him nodded, and pulled out his wand. "You take down the barrier, then try one of your radial Stunners. Remus and I will take down whoever is left."

Sirius nodded, took a breath, and closed his eyes, prodding the barrier with his wand. It took some tweaking and hard thought, but then he felt it fall away. Immediately, he heard a yell within the space as the shimmering magic vanished.

He saw dark robes, and heard movement. He didn't wait to see what was happening. He ran in, raised his wand over his head, and yelled out, "_STUPEFY TOTALUM_." Immediately shields went up, but several bodies fell. There were no more than eight total. Behind him, James and Remus came in, hissing spells.

Two Death Eaters came for him, and he pointed to one. "_Tarentallegra_!"

His target was hit by the spell and immediately his legs went wild, sending him hard into the other Death Eater. They both went down, the hex causing the Death Eater to continue kicking his legs frantically even as he was on the ground.

He turned around, and spotted two redheads strapped to a tree. "Fabian! Gideon!"

They were unconscious, their arms hooked together and tied to a thick branch. One of them – Sirius still didn't know who was who – had two deep slashes on his face, the other had a broken and bloody nose. He moved forward, his wand slicing the bonds. "_Rennervate_."

The brother with the broken nose stirred as Sirius repeated the spell on the other one. "Christ on the cross, you took fucking long enough."

"Shut up. Where's Caradoc?"

"Dunno." The one with the slashes said as they started to get up. Sirius looked over to see James and Remus still dueling two remaining Death Eaters. "We were being chased. He split off from us on broom, we never saw him again."

Sirius helped them onto their feet, but not before four loud cracks resounded in the small space, and were shortly followed by Death Eaters Apparating into the woods. "Time to go!"

James grunted in agreement, and he threw a Shield Charm over himself and Remus as they headed for Sirius and the Prewetts. "St. Mungo's."

They all gave a nod, and Sirius turned, taking Fabian and Gideon with him as they descended into darkness.

[][][][][][]

He screamed, again and again. The pain in his arm was unbearable. Adrian's grip on him increased, keeping him pinned to the chair. Rodolphus had his fingers on his wrist, pressing his arm into the table. Voldemort's eyes were glistening with sick joy as his wand carved into the young man's skin in front of him.

Deft fingers drew the symbol of his inner circle. The swirl of the serpent, the dark soulless eyes of the skull. The mark was burned into the skin, raw and red. Finally, he completed the details, and the movement of his wand stopped. He reached a hand down, and pressed his finger to it. Peter screamed anew, and two more men jumped forward to hold him still. The brand sizzled for a moment, before slowly turning black.

They were in a large, open room in the Lestrange's home. In the center Peter knelt before a small glass table, his arm pressed against the top, the white skin of his forearm pointed up. All around the room men and women in dark cloaks were gathered. Watching from beneath their hoods, they seemed to be taking a sense of satisfaction and even pleasure from watching the process.

Voldemort stepped back, raising his hands over his head. "Peter Pettigrew! You have become one with us! You are now a member of the inner circle. I can call you as I wish, your summons to join your Lord. You are a part of my army, purified in the blood of the traitors who seek to destroy us!"

Peter bowed his head, sobbing, hiding the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. Adrian, Rodolphus, and the other two men released him, and he cradled his arm against his chest. Voldemort gazed at him with the tiniest of smiles on his face. "Welcome to the fold, Peter Pettigrew."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: So sorry for the wait you guys. I've been having more and more trouble with these chapters as we progress toward the end. I guess my subconscious doesn't want me to get to the end of things. After all, we all know what's going to happen.

Anyway, about this chapter, I wanted to portray Caradoc's disappearance, while also emphasizing that war is hell. It is not glory, and it's mostly about cowardice. Again, I hope you enjoy, and I'm hoping less gap between chapters now, but who knows.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _You guys are wonderful, and you put up with me very nicely. xD


	55. Chapter 55: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: June, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Karkaroff is still on the run, but we might be coming close. Thankfully known Death Eaters are going to Azkaban every day." Moody said, then grunted. "The problem is unmasking them. Again, anyone who gets a Death Eater, we've _got_ to unmask 'em. The sooner they can be identified, the sooner we can send them off to prison where they belong! Any dent ye can make in Voldemort's army will help us in the end."

"Yes, thank you Alastor." Dumbledore said, straightening. "I think we've stayed long enough. Thank you very much, James, Lily, for letting us use your home for this meeting."

Everyone stood and gathered their things to go. James and Lily started cleaning up, taking cups and mugs and plates and taking them out of the sitting room.

Even Sirius and Remus were getting ready to go, until Dumbledore suddenly said, "Remus, I need to speak with you, privately."

Sirius looked indignantly at Dumbledore, who smiled and nodded his head to confirm he'd said privately. Remus looked at Sirius worriedly, but gave a curt nod of his head and walked over to where Dumbledore was standing by the fireplace.

"I have a special assignment for you. One that you will find most unpleasant." Dumbledore said, looking pensive. Remus raised an eyebrow, and this seemed to encourage the headmaster to continue. "You might recall when Sirius and James were seeking out the camp of beings that are a vital part of Voldemort's army. We have several of these locations, and we have been developing a few plans. We need to know the movements of these people. Trolls, giants, people who have access to dragons or basilisks or any number of incredibly dangerous creatures. And, most importantly, the werewolves who follow Greyback."

Remus stiffened. A shudder went down his spine and he recalled a day roughly five years before when he was slated to be sent to Azkaban for Greyback's crime. Dumbledore looked worried.

"I hate to ask this of you, Remus. But it is vitally important for the Order. Greyback is one of the closest people to Voldemort outside of the Death Eaters. He leads the army that Voldemort is collecting. He is turning people in order to force them to join the Dark Lord. Voldemort has promised them incomprehensible and impossible prizes."

He said nothing in response to Dumbledore's almost pleading voice. He knew it was all true. They needed the information. They needed to know where Greyback was going, what he was doing. He would be the best spy. Not only was he a werewolf, but he was one of Greyback's. _And_ not only was he one of Greyback's, but Greyback had been actively recruiting him since Hogwarts to join the war. It would be so easy to infiltrate the camp of dark beings.

Dumbledore eventually spoke again. "I will accept a no from you Remus. This is a strictly voluntary assignment. I would never request it of you if I did not have the utmost faith in your abilities and your acting skills."

"I learned to lie from the best." Remus admitted jokingly, but there was a dark undertone to his voice. "My curse should be put to good use after all. It's not done me any good the last fifteen years."

"Remus, I accepted you into Hogwarts _despite_ your affliction. I wasn't trying to make a political statement, and I wasn't trying to annoy the Minister, like everyone seems to think. You were a genuinely intelligent and bright boy and you have become an even more intelligent and compassionate man. If this were any other mission in which your lycanthropy would not be the priority, I would choose you on your talent alone. Unfortunately I was forced to pick someone with the necessary attributes, not the necessary skills."

Remus felt aglow at the praise, and yet bothered at the same time. He wished he could take compliments with more grace. Unfortunately that was not so. Not to mention he would be useful on this point. He remembered very clearly James saying something about them being more pawns than warriors in Dumbledore's eyes. Well, he would make a damn good pawn.

"You don't need to be so nice to me. I would have accepted five minutes ago." Remus said calmly. "Just tell me what I need to do."

"You're going to find Greyback. We have reports of him visiting several places in wizarding London. You have to infiltrate his groups, which might be difficult at first, but I do believe you can manage, because Greyback really wants you and the rest of his turned. You will have to spend a very long time with him I'm afraid. There's no returning to London while you are with him." Dumbledore looked over pointedly at Sirius. Remus started to flush and stopped himself.

"How long?"

"I'm not sure. For as long as the information can be extracted." The wizened man crossed his arms over his chest. "No shorter than three months."

"Three months?" Remus felt torn. He hesitated and glanced back at Sirius briefly, still waiting by the door. He was talking to Frank, but he looked back over toward the fireplace, and their eyes met for a moment. Sirius apparently didn't like what he saw in Remus' eyes, because his forehead wrinkled and his eyes got a bit dark, and when he turned back to Frank he didn't look as interested in their conversation.

Dumbledore was waiting for his answer. No shorter than three months. The longer the words sat in his brain the greater the distance felt between him and Sirius. No letters. No Patronuses. No contact whatsoever. Nothing. Sirius had never been gone more than three weeks and now Remus was going to be gone for three months. Sirius' birthday, Halloween, Christmas, maybe even James' and Lily's birthday and possibly his own if it went long enough. And the way Dumbledore said three months seemed to imply a much longer span of time.

"Yes. I'll do it." He finally said, trying to hide his reluctance.

Dumbledore reached out to touch his arm. "Thank you so much Remus. Pack your things. Not too many, you don't want to look like you prepared. Come to my office when you're ready. When you've told everyone. But be careful, if anyone close to you knows where you might be things could turn bad very quickly."

Remus nodded slowly, and turned to head to where Sirius and Frank were standing. Sirius wouldn't look him in the eye as they turned to head out the door. They didn't even say good-bye to James and Lily.

[][][][][][]

"What the fuck are you doing?" Sirius stood in the doorway.

It was a rhetorical question really. Sirius knew exactly what Remus was doing. He was packing. His stupid little book bag. Of course it wasn't really a book bag anymore. Not with clothes, and compasses, and Atlases and canned food and can openers and matches. No, it was Remus' life, packed up in the shabby, falling apart book bag that used to break on a regular basis at school. Sirius should have bought him a new one, or he should go and buy him a new one now, something to keep his life in. Remus wouldn't accept it though.

Remus straightened, sighing as he folded and then unfolded and then refolded the same pair of trousers. "I'm packing."

"That's not what I fucking meant." Sirius didn't know why he was speaking so angrily. He wasn't really that angry. Well, he was. He was irritated. Hell, he didn't even know what he was. All he knew was that he was frustrated. "You just thought you'd leave in the night without me noticing? Shit, Remus, you get up to pee and I'm awake."

His lover looked at him with a calm expression. It was too calm. Remus had seen this coming. He had known how Sirius would react if he told him straight out. He was goading Sirius, trying to get him to explode, so then Remus could say something logical, and Sirius would accept things. This only made him more frustrated. "Don't you psychoanalyze me you know, I'm not stupid, and I don't need to be treated like a child."

"I'm not treating you like a child. I'm letting you get out all your anger so we can discuss things. Like grown-ups." Remus said.

"That entire statement was contradictory."

"Just go ahead and yell. I've got to do this anyway."

"No you don't. You don't need to leave. You don't need to go off on a Dumbledore mission. You said yes." Sirius said, keeping his voice level on purpose. "How long, huh?"

Here Remus paused, and Sirius felt his stomach drop. "Minimum of three months."

"Three months!" Sirius exploded, all thoughts of level thinking vanishing. "Wait... a _minimum_ of three months? What the fuck does that mean? Three? Four? Six? A year or more?"

"I don't know."

"Well what are you doing?"

"I can't tell you that." Remus said, his hands trembling as he finally seemed satisfied with the folding job and tucked the trousers into his book bag. "First off Dumbledore told me not to, and second of all you wouldn't want to know."

"Oh fucking great." Sirius said, his hand yanking on his hair. "That makes me want to let you go even more."

That made Remus stop dead. "Excuse me. _Let_ me go? You have to let me? For your information, Sirius Black, I'm nineteen years old and I don't need permission from you or anyone else to go or do anything."

"Oh fuck you. You think I'd really let you leave this house if I knew you were just going to get yourself killed?" Sirius said angrily.

Remus stopped. He was resisting the urge to get angry, Sirius could tell. He was trying to look at this logically. He moved toward Sirius, and his voice became gentle. "I love you Sirius."

Sirius narrowed his gaze. "If you really did, you wouldn't do this."

Remus was hurt by the words, but he was doing a good job of not showing it. "This isn't about us. This is something bigger than two people in a little corner of London. This is a war. Dumbledore said it himself when we joined the Order. The war is the priority."

"If that's how you feel I might not be here when you come back whenever you decide you're done." Sirius said. The words were vicious, and he felt guilty the moment they exited his lips, but there they were, hanging in the air like a dragon circling to strike.

Now Remus actually let the pain show. Sirius felt even guiltier as he watched the other young man think about things. When he spoke, it was strained. "I wouldn't expect you to wait that long if you didn't want to. I wouldn't presume..."

"Fuck presumption. Merlin curse you, Remus! You can't be fucking honest with me, you act like what I've just said means nothing."

"It means everything, Sirius!" Remus snapped. "I think that you threatening to leave is painful, and stupid, and I'd give everything to ask you to stay, but I can't. Not when I'm leaving. So what can I do?"

He grabbed his book bag, yanking it up off the bed. He moved to the door, past Sirius. The dark-haired man grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Remus."

"Stop, Sirius. I've got to go."

"Not yet." Sirius whispered, and he pushed Remus against the doorway. Remus resisted just slightly, but then gave in as their lips touched. Just a few more minutes, that was all Sirius needed.

[][][][][][]

"Smart little cub." Greyback hissed, gripping Remus' arm.

He allowed himself to be dragged forward. Dragged to oblivion, so to speak. They passed under an archway at the very end of Knockturn Alley, and behind it was a small building. It was crooked, leaning against the alleyway wall. All the windows were either blown out or boarded up, and there was no door.

Greyback approached it. "Stand there and don't say anything."

Remus stayed still, waiting for Greyback to do whatever he was about to do. He took a moment to look at Greyback. The man couldn't be that much older than Remus. No older than thirty, thirty-five. And yet his back was hunched, his fingers were raw and thin, the knuckles bulging. His skin was yellowish, his hair almost solid grey, only a few streaks of brown remaining. Was this how Remus was going to turn out? A hollowed out husk of a man? Waiting for that one night a month that made him alive? The wrongness of it seeped into his brain and hung like a bat in the daytime.

Greyback knocked on the front wall of the building twice. Then the building itself straightened, as though Greyback had woken it up. Then the older man knocked again, this time six or seven times, but in a pattern of some kind. Remus tried to remember it, to report it back to Dumbledore later.

Then, the wood on the front of the building started to shift, almost at random, but then the outline of an opening appeared, and then a door. Slowly, the building leaned back over, and Greyback opened the door and turned to Remus.

"Come on, cub, time to introduce you."

Remus followed inside the rickety building. The grip on his book bag tightened, and he found himself in the darkest, gloomiest shit hole he'd ever seen in his life. It looked like the Shrieking Shack had gotten divorced, starting drinking, lost its job and its home, and moved here to Knockturn Alley to spend the rest of its miserable days alone. Greyback snickered, inching forward. "Come out cubs. Time to meet a new member of the pack."

Then, from the shadows, people began to emerge. James had, back in third year, described the werewolves that followed Greyback. Like beasts, not humans. He was right. They were dressed in clothing that made him look like he was a Malfoy, some of them in animal skins. Their hair was dirty and messy, knotted. One woman had decorated her hair with bones, like barettes they were braided into her filthy strands. She couldn't have been more than forty, but her hair was pure white. They were all wrinkled and grey, aging beyond their years.

Greyback looked at them all with a smile on his face. "Everyone, this is Lupin. He is our new brother, and new servant of the Dark Lord."

Remus felt nauseous at that statement. It was like going against the very fabric of his being. He'd better be gathering some good information, that was all he had to say. What would Sirius think, seeing him here?

[][][][][][]

"A month and I can't even get out of bed anymore." Sirius mumbled to himself, perching himself on the windowsill in the bedroom. The mid-summer air blew through his hair, and he sighed, shaking his head. He needed a haircut for summer, but there was no Remus here to give him a trim.

No Remus to remember to wash the dishes, or go grocery shopping. Yes, Remus was a lot like having a wife around, and those things like laundry and dinner or breakfast were the first things he had noticed that were missing. Then he started to notice the other things. Like how he'd woken up this morning wrapped around a pillow because he was so used to wrapping his arms around Remus at night.

And then of course there was the entire absence of fucking. Sirius liked to think that now that he was more grown-up his teenage hormones no longer ruled his system. He was learning very quickly however, that it was apparently his very regular scheduled romps with Remus that had been keeping him sane for the last two years.

Today he had been two seconds from punching the delivery boy when he'd forgotten the little mustard packets with the panda bears on the plastic. And their landlord had gotten two dungbombs in his office because their hot water heater had unexpectedly died right in the middle of Sirius' shower that morning. Remus would have not cared about the mustard, and he would have handled the landlord with grace. He was obviously the only thing keeping Sirius out of prison, that much was clear.

Sirius climbed up off the windowsill and glanced at the clock. Six o'clock at night. He supposed he could go bother James. When it came down to it, he _wanted_ to hang out with James. His tiny apartment was gigantic now.

"Sirius, what the fuck?" James shot out of his couch as Sirius clambered out of the fireplace. "Why didn't you Floo before just showing up?"

"I was bored."

"Ugh, this is the bajillionth time this month. Don't you have better things to do?" James said irritably.

Lily appeared from the bedroom, grunting as she pushed her hair from her face. Wearing a large sweater and a pair of James' boxers, she had obviously just woken up from a nap, and Sirius felt slightly guilty for arriving. She blushed a bit as she saw Sirius collapsing into an armchair. "Hello Sirius."

"Hello." He should have been ogling her leggy legs, but he didn't even have the energy to pretend. She raised an eyebrow at him and he waved a hand.

"Remus still gone?"

"It's been a month. He said _minimum_ three months."

"Not even an owl?" She said, as she went back into the bedroom to change.

James hauled himself off the sofa and went into the kitchen. "Dinner's in a few anyway."

"No, not even an owl. I don't think he has access to it anyway." Sirius said in annoyance. He knew he was being mopey, and he didn't mean to, so he attempted to change the subject. "Any news from Dumbly?"

"Nah, we haven't even had a meeting in weeks. You didn't go to the last one, and there wasn't much going on."

"What about... with you guys?" He wasn't usually the type to ask about their lives and whatnot, but anything to not think about Remus for a while.

"Us?" James said, carrying out a large casserole dish. "Not much. I was invited to fly with the Wimbourne Wasps, I've been thinking I might do it just for fun. They're looking for a Chaser and a Beater but I don't think I'll accept the job."

"You know you'd be fantastic." Sirius said. "Maybe I should try out for Beater. We could play the team together."

"Yeah, only rumor is the other bloke they've got pegged for Beater is Ludo Bagman."

"Bagman?"

"Yeah, he was Hufflepuff a few years older than us. Now he's a huge deal, about five different teams are requesting him, he's getting brand new equipment from Cleansweep and fucking Nimbus, can you believe it?"

"Didn't Nimbus offer to give you a new broom and you declined?"

"Well I'm not playing professional Quidditch, that's why." James grumbled.

"Then why go fly with the Wasps?"

"Just to get out of the house. And pretend like I'm going to have the career I always dreamed of." James said forlornly as he started to spoon lasagna onto three plates.

Lily finally emerged from the bedroom, finishing a long braid and tying it off. She was now wearing jeans and a proper shirt, and she sank into a seat at the table and immediately began digging into the lasagna. "Well, I'm sure three months will just fly by, Sirius. You'll hardly have time to miss him."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Who said anything about missing? I just want someone to do my laundry."

Lily blinked, and looked almost irritated by this statement. James of course laughed, shaking his head as he shoveled food into his mouth. His wife did not look pleased by the laugh, and she sighed as she continued to eat. Sirius smirked to himself, ignoring her look.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well we're going to be skipping most of 1979. There's just a lot of stuff I have to get to, a lot of stuff I have to deal with. You're probably going to notice a few time skips longer than I'm used to doing.

Anyway, enjoy this angsty chapter, and you might not see as much of Remus. Though who knows. I do love him. Greyback is just so damn hard to write. xP Please enjoy!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _getting to the end, I'm so glad to have all you guys with me.


	56. Chapter 56: Thrice Defiant

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: September, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

Lily twirled her quill as she filled out her paperwork. Only ten more minutes left until the end of the day and all she had to do was fill out the bottom half of a few patient forms. A surprisingly easy end to a surprisingly easy day.

Of course, she shouldn't have been reveling so much. Because seconds later a cart was pushed at top speed past her desk. There on the mattress, three different Healers waving wands over the gaping wound in his side, was Frank Longbottom.

She rocketed out of the chair, nearly screaming out loud. Hurrying from the office she grabbed the side of the cart and followed along. "Frank, Frank can you hear me?"

His eyes opened slowly. Immediately he groaned in pain. The Healers looked at her angrily, but she persevered.

"What happened? Where's Alice?"

"My mum's... was attacked... they were... waiting for us. He was there too... they called him. Alice... fine."

"He?"

"Vold- AAAAGH." He screamed and twisted, and Lily helped them hold him down as they moved him into a bed. She stayed until he was stable, and then hurried out to find Alice. She was sitting in the front lobby, her palms pressed against her knees so hard her hands were white.

"Alice!"

She looked up, and Lily saw that the entire front of her robes were covered in blood. Probably Frank's. Her hands were shaking. As soon as Lily knelt in front of her Alice flung herself forward, and gripped Lily. They embraced. A woman who's husband was lying on a slab, and a woman who's husband could go the same way at any moment. For a moment Alice wished she was Lily, and Lily was so grateful that she wasn't Alice.

After a moment, Alice stopped shaking enough to speak. "They attacked his parents. Frank's parents. We just happened to be there. We made an unscheduled stop. We usually visit on Wednesdays, but today Frank wanted to drop off his father's birthday present and so we stopped in and had a cup of tea. They came bursting in the doors."

Lily looked concerned. "Hadn't you put protections on their house?"

"Of course! But we never thought they'd come for them like that. Not when we weren't expecting it. Every Wednesday we up extra protection, but that makes sense. Why would they go after his parents without any reason? It doesn't make any sense. They were out to _kill_. I mean, not capturing..."

"I'm so sorry. How did Frank get hit?"

"They blew in the windows, the wall came down not too much later. A timber from the roof broke, came right at him. It completely broke his Shield Charm, he fell. I remember screaming, and then seconds later there _he_ was."

"Voldemort." Lily whispered.

"He's pissed as hell you know. They've got some kind of hit list. All the Aurors are on it, any Order members that have survived him before. Voldemort wants to hit them directly. He wants to kill them himself. Whenever one of his cronies sees us, they call him. I don't think they knew we were going to be here cause they were surprised, they yelled at each other about calling him while I was getting everyone out of the house. I had to go back for Frank, I wasn't going to leave him."

"Of course not." Lily soothed, stroking Alice's knee.

Alice sniffled, and Lily handed her a tissue, and for a moment the friends were not friends at all. They hated one another, just for a split second. Alice hated Lily for being able to comfort her, and Lily hated Alice for reminding her of mortality.

[][][][][][]

"In light of certain recent events we have realized that the Death Eaters might be targeting family members in order to draw us out. The Longbottoms, Boneses, and Prewetts are only the beginning, we believe, of a campaign to attack extended family." Dumbledore looked angry, which was something new for the elderly wizard. He always seemed rather disappointed when talking about the Death Eaters or Voldemort, as though they were students who had performed rather poorly in class. But now he was most certainly angry, his blue eyes darker than usual, and the twinkle gone completely. He removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose silently.

James glanced at Lily. Of course his parents were already gone, but Lily's were Muggles, and that meant they were even more dangerous. "What I don't understand is why they obviously went for Pureblood families first. I mean, the Longbottoms and Prewetts are two of the oldest wizarding families, along with the Malfoys and Blacks."

Sirius snorted. "They can have my family."

"They already do." James pointed out fluidly, and earned a glare.

"Yes, well," Dumbledore said, interrupting the two men. "We have no idea who is on their list, who they might target. All we know is that they are going after families. All we can do is take our loved ones and put them in hiding, as soon as possible."

Lily was chewing on her lower lip. James knew that was a sign that she was scared, but didn't want to show it. "Your parents can stay with us." He offered immediately. "Godric's Hollow is a fortress, and I'll add more protections if I need to."

She smiled at him gratefully. Everyone in the room started on conversations on where their families could stay, where would be safe. Many people mentioned going abroad, out of England for a while, others suggested what James did, bringing them into their home at least temporarily, and some even said that a Fidelius Charm would be the best way to go. Dumbledore nodded, and held up a hand to stop them for a moment.

"I, Alastor, and Kingsley will be assisting you with removing your families and placing them somewhere safe. I offer myself as Secret Keeper for all those who decide upon that route, and Alastor and I will help you to place other protection charms around the locations you place them."

Not to much later Lily and James were Apparating back outside the house. "I think it might be safe for a bit longer." James suggested as they entered. "They seem to be going after Purebloods. Probably some kind of revenge thing."

"There aren't too many Pureblood members of the Order for them to attack though. After they killed Edgar..." She shook her head. "We'll wait just long enough for me to prepare the bedroom. They'll take the master, and we can take your old room."

"Only if you put on your old school uniform and we play out the teenage fantasy I never saw come to fruition." James said teasingly, pinching a bit of skin near Lily's behind.

She punched him, but smiled slyly. "Maybe, if I can even fit into the thing. I've gained so much weight since school." She patted her thighs.

"I like all the places you've gained weight. They're in my favorite spots."

"My arse is gigantic." Lily complained, as James put his hand on either side of her hips.

"It's just right." He kissed the side of her neck, and she giggled.

"We've got to go prepare the rooms. Do you think Petunia is in danger?"

"Nah, I don't think so. They are somewhere in London aren't they? Not even near your parents, plus she's not an Evans anymore."

Lily looked concerned. "I know. Didn't even invite me to the wedding. Apparently it was a small affair though."

"Well she's probably fine then. We'll go together to tell your parents, help them pack up a few things."

"They aren't going to understand. They don't know anything about the war." Lily said unhappily. "I should go change the sheets and things. We'll go get them tonight after dinner."

"Sounds fine." He kissed her temple as she turned, and she smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. He watched her head up the stairs and then headed into the sitting room, flicking his wand around to tidy it up.

[][][][][][]

"Mum, Dad?" Lily knocked on the door three more times, and then looked back at James. "Still no answer. Maybe they went out with friends or something. I know my dad's still playing poker every so often with his mates."

"We should at least leave a note then." James said, glancing from side to side and then pointing his wand at the door to unlock it. "Let them know we'll be back tomorrow morning."

Lily nodded and opened it, stepping inside. "Mum? Dad?" She called one last time to make sure. James muttered lumos, and she rolled her eyes, reaching for the light switch.

"Oh, forgot about that."

She chuckled and walked into the living room. Weird, the television was on, the daily news report playing. She walked over and turned it off. No way her father would forget, after all those years of yelling at Lily and Petunia for every light and electric device they'd left on by accident.

"Something isn't right." The redhead said hesitantly.

James perked up. "It does feel a bit weird in here."

Fear rose in her throat faster than her wand, and now they were both armed. "Mum... dad?" She asked, though she suspected already they could not answer. And not because they were out on the town.

She hurried forward into the kitchen. A plate lay broken on the floor. She turned, and screamed before she could help herself.

James covered her mouth, dragging her backwards from the side of the kitchen where two bodies were slumped into the ground. She struggled for a moment, still screaming, but James was protecting her, silencing her in case whoever did this was still waiting.

She wouldn't get a chance to cry just then. The back door blew open with a crash. James' Shield Charm went up and debris from the giant hole in the back wall bounced off of it. He dragged Lily down, and she finally stopped screaming, her body switching into survival mode, adrenaline pumping through her veins.

Two black figures. Only two? One of them yelled, "It's the Potters!"

The other laughed. "Of course it is. They came to try and save them! Didn't work out so well, did it, Evans?"

Lily's heart was gripped by a cold, black hand, as she recognized the voice. _Severus_. Severus, her best friend in childhood. The only one she'd ever had to talk to. The one who had meant everything to her. The one who had turned to the darkness because of a lust for power. She bit back a sob. James was angry now, he too had recognized the voice.

"_Impedimenta_!" James growled, and the jinx flew forward, and was parried by another hex, which bounced harmlessly off James' shield.

"We have to get out, James." Lily said frantically. "They're going to call him."

"I know that!" James snapped at her, but she wasn't even concerned with the anger in his voice.

"Too late!" From the front door the voice came, two more Death Eaters pouring in. They turned from their hiding position behind the kitchen island, a position that was fine for the ones at the back door, but left them utterly exposed as the figures came from the living room. Among them, the only one not wearing a mask, Lord Voldemort himself. She hoped he wouldn't think they should be _flattered_ that they were on his hit list.

Lily hissed the charm, and from the end of her wand came the silvery doe. "Get Sirius! We're at my parents' house, Farringdon. Bring everyone!" She commanded it, and it bounded off through a wall.

James rose from where he was brandishing his wand towards Voldemort. "You won't get us so easily!"

"Your wand is nothing more than a stick, little boy." Voldemort said angrily, raising his wand.

"_Expelliarmus_!" James attempted, though the spell bounced away from Voldemort like a dog kicked from its master.

"James!" Lily shrieked, pointing her wand at Voldemort. Her hand wouldn't stop shaking though. "_Flipendo_!"

The jinx did nothing but push Voldemort back a single step, and cause him to laugh cruelly, his voice ringing in her ears.

A minute later the wall exploded, and Voldemort had to jump out of the way to avoid being crushed under flying brick. As the dust settled Sirius stood there with a deadly look on his face. "Hey, someone call the cavalry?"

Voldemort glared at him, and pointed his wand forward. "All you Blacks are the same! _Traitors_!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow and dove toward where James and Lily were, ducking under the green jet of light. Behind him, a Stunner headed straight for Voldemort, and missed him by a millimeter. Kingsley scrambled over the bricks that Sirius had blown through the room.

Everything became a bit fuzzy for Lily after that. Seeing her parents' living room in shambles, bolts of light shooting through the space, Voldemort barely being driven back. It was all disjointed, a series of images, past and present playing out in front of her like a movie with bad audio.

"Here, I'll teach you, Lils." Her father's warm hands reached out to take the top from her fingers. "You've got to hold it just so as you spin, watch." She let out a squeal of delight as he yanked the string, and the bright red top went skidding across the floor.

"_Incendio_!" Alastor shouted, the robes of a Death Eater catching on fire, the man screaming in pain.

Dumbledore appeared in the center of the room, his wand slashing downwards at Voldemort.

Two girls cut up paper dolls together while cartoons played on the television. Lily did it poorly, and by the end she had given up in frustration. Petunia had taken pity on her. "Let's trade, Lily. You can play with these." The older girl handed over the dolls she had painstakingly cut out, and took the mangled ones that Lily had created. "I don't mind using these, they look just fine."

Voldemort called to his followers, and they began to Disapparate. Moody was cursing, trying to capture one, remove their mask, anything. James was grabbing Lily's arm, dragging her towards the back door.

Four family members sat around the living room, watching the evening programs. Petunia sat in the corner chair, pretending not to watch, busy with her books or summer homework. Lily sat nestled between her parents. Her mother stroked her fingers through Lily's crimson strands of hair, her father rolled over and began to tickle her relentlessly. Petunia rolled her eyes, but a smile creased her lips as Lily erupted into giggles.

"-ome on! Lily, come _on_!" James yelled at her, and she shook her head, clearing it of thoughts that didn't have to do with surviving the next few minutes.

They ran out of the house, which pretty much collapsed in on itself as soon as they were outside. She watched the kitchen walls cave in, pausing in the front yard. Her parents were still inside. Not alive, but still, the thought of them being buried under the rubble of her childhood home made her stomach churn. James had to drag her as he spun in place, and she was forced into darkness.

[][][][][][]

It was raining. There was something ironic about rain at a funeral. Was irony the right word? Maybe it was that other one. James never could tell the difference. He squeezed Lily's fingers to remind her that he was still there, and she looked over gratefully as they took their seats in a pair of rickety folding chairs on the grass.

In front of him were two large holes. He felt uncomfortable all of a sudden. They hadn't been to the cemetery when his parents had died. The service and memorial had been at his house. Everyone had paid their respects and James had never had to watch them lower the boxes into the ground. Maybe it was a Muggle thing.

Across the aisle he spotted Petunia. The man next to her – her new husband presumably – was large, looked like a rugby player. James quietly predicted it was going to all turn to fat in ten years. Petunia had a handkerchief over her nose and mouth, but she didn't appear to be openly crying or sobbing. Her husband put a ham-sized hand on her thin, rigid shoulder, and she shook him off almost impatiently. James rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulders. She leaned against him, and he shot a look at the other two as if to say "this is how it's done."

For the next hour James sat, holding Lily against him as a preacher recited some passages and spoke about the deceased. When the man started talking about Lily's father, she seemed to sink a bit, and slowly began crying into James' shoulder. He gripped her tighter, and Petunia looked across the aisle and James could have sworn there was disdain on her face. No, it couldn't possibly be. Not today of all days.

There was quite a crowd there. When it was finally over, everyone was given a small white flower, and they all stood around the graves. The coffins were lowered, and before the dirt began to go in everyone slowly tossed their flowers onto the wooden tops. Then everyone started to go, until only about a dozen remained to watch the cemetery workers start to pour the dirt in.

"Let's go, Vernon." Petunia said softly, and Lily turned quickly as her sister began to leave.

"Petunia! Tunie, please stay."

Petunia turned back, her hands white as they gripped her small black purse that matched her ensemble perfectly. Lily looked desperate as she walked forward. "Tunie, I'm sorry, please don't do this. I didn't mean it, I didn't know..."

"I'm not doing anything." Her face pinched in a bit as Lily sniffed and wiped her eyes with her hands.

"Petunia, I can't do this alone. I need my sister." Lily walked forward, reaching out to touch Petunia's arm.

It all happened so quickly that neither James nor Vernon even had a moment to react. Petunia's hand shot up, and she slapped Lily so hard across the face that the younger woman fell backwards a few steps. "Don't you _dare_! Don't you dare try and guilt me. This is your fault!"

"Tunie!" Lily said, sobbing.

James hurried forward, his wand sliding out of his sleeve. There were people still there, people that shouldn't see Lily's husband with a stick in his hand, but he didn't care. He could Obliviate them all if he had to.

"You are the reason Mum and Dad are dead! I know it wasn't a gas leak. It was you! You and your _kind_!" Petunia shrieked. Her hair tumbled out of the delicate updo, she had a crazed look in her eye. Lily sobbed harder. "They were murdered because of you! Don't bother lying to me!"

Lily said nothing, only reaching out a hand to try and touch Petunia again. The older sister raised her hand again, and James let out a small growl. Petunia jerked her head over to see him holding his wand steadily in his hand, and fear flashed across her face, followed by disgust and anger.

"And I suppose you're going to kill me too then, Potter?" Petunia sneered, although both she and Vernon were moving backwards. Vernon had no idea what was going on, though that surely wasn't the first time confusion rested on his pig-like features. "I wouldn't expect any different from you people."

"No, but I'm not going to let you touch Lily like that again." James said quietly and carefully. "You should go."

He wrapped an arm around Lily, who collapsed against him and broke down into hysterical, child-like sobs. The remaining funeral attendants were staring, watching as Petunia left, her nose high in the air, Vernon waddling along behind her. James slowly stroked Lily's hair as the workers finished padding down the dirt over the graves, until he could finally guide her away.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Mega depressing chapter, sorry. I wanted something dramatic to happen that also would be the third time that James and Lily would defy Lord Voldemort. And of course that rift between Lily and Petunia, and the hardships of losing family. Well, most of the next chapters are going to be mega depressing anyway, except of course for harry's birth and whatnot.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _woot, nearly 450 reviews! You guys are the greatest!


	57. Chapter 57: Up the Duff

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: December, 1979. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

Sirius walked in the door with the full bag of groceries, and immediately the apartment didn't feel right. He had gotten so used to everything being a certain way lately. He set his bag on the counter, and paused. There had been a sink full of dirty dishes when he had left. In fact, it had been full of dirty dishes for at least a week. Now the sink was spotless, and all his dishes were gone. Presumably in the cupboards? Maybe stolen?

He slid his wand out of his sleeve, looking confused. Who steals dirty dishes? "Hey! Show yourself!"

That's when he heard the water in the shower running. A home invader who did his dishes and then used his shower? Then it dawned on him. "Remus!" He said excitedly, dropping his wand on the kitchen counter and hurrying for the bathroom. He yanked the door open.

Remus was standing at the sink, the water in the shower running. Sirius' grin widened, and then it vanished. "Jesus fucking christ." He said, his voice catching in his throat. "Remus..."

Remus whipped around, his eyes wide and panicked. He looked a sight, like he had just crawled out of Hell. He was shirtless, apparently waiting for the water to heat up. His chest and back were bruised, with scratches on his shoulders, and there was a huge bite mark near his hip, only just healed over. His sandy-brown hair had a new grey streak in it, near the temple. Hidden when his hair was down, but as he splashed water on his face and flicked it back it became obvious. He managed a smile, but it was weak.

"Hey Sirius. Sorry, I thought you were going to be gone longer, I was going to get cleaned up first so you didn't see me like this." Sirius moved forward, but Remus took a step back. "I'll be out in a few."

"Remus, I haven't seen you since July, let me touch you at least."

"I'll be out in a minute. Promise." Remus said firmly. Sirius stared for a moment, and then sighed.

"All right. I'll wait."

He put away the groceries hastily, and then sat on the couch. Admittedly, when Remus emerged from the bathroom in a pair of clean pants and pulling a fresh shirt over the various new scars he looked much better. Sirius smiled brightly again, and got up.

When they embraced, Sirius felt something lacking. About twenty pounds off Remus to be exact. Sirius had been intimately familiar with every pound on Remus' frame, and now he was acutely aware that his body had drastically changed in the last four and a half months. He seemed harder too. Remus had always been muscular, but now he felt scrappy, like he'd been working out constantly.

Or maybe fighting for his life on a daily basis. Sirius pulled back, and Remus gazed at him, his eyes not seeming as soft as they used to be. Remus had changed, and not just physically either.

"I missed you." Sirius said rather awkwardly, realizing that Remus had yet to say anything that wasn't telling Sirius to go away.

"I missed you too." Remus agreed, but it almost seemed like he was parroting the sentiment.

"Well, come on, you want to eat something?"

"No... this is good." Remus murmured. They kissed, and Sirius tightened his grip.

Sirius relaxed, and for a moment everything was perfect. Remus sank against him. Then, after a moment, he began to shake, and Sirius pulled back.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just... I missed you." Remus kissed his forehead. "I... I can't stay long though."

"What?" Sirius let go completely.

"I'm not home for good. I just... I managed to slip away. I wanted to see you. I just don't want to go further without you knowing that I've got to leave tonight." Remus looked nervous.

"You aren't _done_? What in Merlin's name could you be doing that you need to be away? You said minimum three months, it's been almost five now."

"Well it's going to be longer." Remus said. "I... I just needed to see you."

Sirius sighed, and rested his forehead against Remus' forehead, looking into his eyes. "It's... I'm glad to see you I guess. We'll take it as it comes."

They kissed again, and Sirius gripped him harder, and again, it was bliss. Hours of bliss. He fell asleep, Remus' words forgotten. Until he woke three hours later to an empty bed. Only the smell of Remus on the sheets and a cabinet full of clean dishes remained to tell the tale of the evening.

[][][][][][]

"Oh god, how can I be gaining weight?" Lily groaned as she gazed down at the scale. "I've been on a diet for two weeks now and I've gained five pounds!"

James popped his head into the bathroom and looked at his wife standing on the scale with her hands buried in her hair in frustration. "It's probably just water weight, love. You'll lose it all. But you know I really don't mind. You're stunning."

"It's not the point. I don't like it. I'm turning into a fat housewife." Lily squeezed her thighs, groaning. "And none of my bras are fitting anymore! I'm only gaining weight in my hips and my knockers, why is that?" He grinned and she made a rude noise in his direction. "Would you just leave, please, you aren't helping."

He shook his head and returned to the kitchen, stirring the bouillabaisse. He had never thought he was going to become a cook, and yet there he was. Stirring up fish soup in the kitchen like a pro. Not that it hadn't taken over a year of practice and diligence to reach this point in his culinary skill set. Lily came out of the bathroom finally, adjusting her bra with a look of great discomfort on her face.

"This really is ridiculous, I must have gone up a whole cup size. I can't imagine what I'm eating that would cause this..." She inhaled, and froze at the edge of the kitchen. James watched with something between amusement and bewilderment as she turned a very peculiar shade of greenish-grey, and then sprinted back to the bathroom.

So much for being a good cook. He turned off the stove, moved the pot to a back burner, and headed for the bathroom. "Uh... Lily?"

She was retching into the toilet. He stood there in confusion. When she was finished she stood unsteadily. "Sorry, love. I think it's a bug, that's all."

He walked forward and tucked a strand of crimson hair behind her cheek. "Well all right. You want me to make you a cuppa and tuck you in?"

She smiled. "You're a sweetheart. I'm sure your bouillabaisse is lovely. Save me some."

He kissed her forehead, and helped her to bed.

[][][][][][]

"More potatoes?" Lily held the spoon out for Sirius. Sirius blinked, and smiled, nodding and taking the spoon, dropping it on his plate. She took the empty spoon back, and turned to Kingsley. "You?"

"No, really, I'm fine." Kingsley padded his stomach and grinned. "I haven't been so full in ages. It was a fantastic meal."

"I could go for more potatoes." Dumbledore passed his plate over, and Lily grinned, piling on more potatoes.

"I made enough food for everyone."

"Good, because everyone's here." Emmeline smiled brightly, leaning over to prod Moody's arm. "Alastor, even you are looking rather Christmas-y."

James and Frank laughed from the other end of the table. Moody was wearing a large santa hat on his head, and was sipping the eggnog rather judiciously. He turned to toast with Hagrid, who was sitting on a specially reinforced chair and drinking eggnog from a mug easily as big as Moody's head. Lily sat back down as Dumbledore took his plate. "As soon as everyone's finished Alice and I can go fetch dessert."

There was a mixture of groans and laughs and cheers from around the very full table, and Lily smiled. All in all the Christmas party had been a great success. Everyone had eaten and talked and laughed, and everything was fine. No war, no Death Eaters, no Dark Lord Voldemort, nothing. The world was joyous and peaceful. The snow falling on the windows was soft, the earth was silent. Almost holy.

Ten minutes later everyone was stacking their plates, and Lily and Alice were flicking their wands at them and heading for the kitchen. Lily placed everything gently in the sink, and Alice started to pull out the several different kinds of pie and cakes that were being kept warm in the oven.

"God, I'm so sore lately." Alice said, rubbing her back.

"Really? You might have the same bug I do." Lily said.

Alice grinned. "It's not a bug. Actually, we've been sort of waiting to tell everyone, we might be making an announcement later tonight actually."

"About what?" Lily said. Alice grinned even wider, and looked around.

"Well, I suppose I can tell you, just don't ruin the surprise!" Alice said excitedly, leaning forward. "A few days ago I went to a Healer friend of mind in private, I didn't want to go to St. Mungo's unless I was absolutely sure. And she verified it."

"Verified what?" Lily said, though an inkling in the back of her mind was forming.  
"I'm pregnant!" Alice said.

Lily stared. "Oh... oh that's wonderful Alice! Frank must be so happy."

"He's about to burst." The dark-haired woman clapped her hands. "Oh at first we were scared. We were really scared. I'm going to have to stop doing any Order missions, take a desk job at the Ministry at least until he's born."

"I'd be too scared." Lily said quietly. "I _am_ too scared."

"It's not as scary as you think when it's right in front of you. I mean... I love Frank. We've wanted kids for years now, we just haven't had the time or the ability. I mean... this baby is a surprise, but it's a pleasant one."

Lily smirked. "So how did you first suspect?"

"Thought I had some kind of illness. Flu-like. Achy all over. I started gaining weight. Oh man, I've had to go out and buy all new bras." Alice cupped under her chest and laughed. "I've gone up a full cup size and apparently it'll be more than that by the time this is over."

Lily blinked. It was a struggle to keep her voice airy. "Doesn't sound too pleasant."

"No. Not to mention the heaves. Ugh, I can't seem to stop throwing up. Frank made ham and eggs, I threw up everything, absolutely everything. Even things I didn't think I'd eaten." She laughed, but Lily felt her throat clench.

"Hey women!" Sirius shouted from the dining room. "Is it time for pie or what?"

Lily let out a choked laugh, motioning to Alice. "We'd better appease the masses."

Thirty minutes later, after everyone had retired to the living room, Lily sat in perfect silence as the Order cheered for Frank and Alice. The redhead couldn't help but feel a terrifying fear in her gut. The happy occasion was marred by her own anxiety.

[][][][][][]

"Miss... Evans?"

"Yes, that's me." Lily clutched her purse close to her chest as the nurse called her name. She followed her down the hall of the little run-down, anonymous Muggle clinic on the edge of London. She felt something like shame for tucking her ring deep into the folds of her purse and coming to a place like this. At St. Mungo's they would have welcomed her with open arms, sat her down in a private room right away and treated her warmly. Instead she received a cold look from the nurse who was checking her vitals, wordlessly writing things down on a piece of paper.

"So what are you here for, Miss Evans?"

"I need... I need a pregnancy test." Lily said quietly, nervously. The nurse looked her up and down, as though every day she saw unmarried 20 year old women asking that same question.

"There are new at-home tests you can take." She commented.

"I don't trust them as much as I'd trust a doctor's results." Lily said hesitantly. "I need to know for certain."

The nurse scribbled something down on her clipboard and handed Lily a small cup. Lily stared at it confusedly, until the nurse rolled her eyes and motioned to the bathroom across the hall from the exam room. "Go pee in the cup."

Lily nearly burst into tears while in the bathroom, worry spiking, the general cold, unfeeling treatment not helping at all. When she handed the cup back to the nurse the woman didn't even speak, leaving Lily in the room alone with nothing but an ancient _Yarners and Darner_s magazine on the table next to her. To calm herself, she actually read an article titled "Knitting for Fun and Profit" while waiting.

It seemed like forever, but was closer to 20 minutes, before the doctor finally arrived. He read over the clipboard, smiled at her weakly, and nodded. "Hello Miss Evans. The test results are positive. You are pregnant. Do you know how far along you are?"

"I... I dunno... not more than a month or two. I started feeling funny a couple weeks ago." Lily said, her throat dropping into her stomach. "Can't you find out for sure?"

"Oh yes, we can take your blood and ascertain pretty close. Now, you are unmarried? Are you working? Going to school?"

She nodded and then shook her head. "I have a steady job. Sort of an apprenticeship."

"You are aware the cost of raising a child is quite high now. And single parent families are rare and extremely difficult. Without a man in the picture..." The doctor looked at her calmly. "It's best we discuss all options."

"O-options?"

"Yes, options. You can keep the baby of course, bring it to full term, and the clinic can help you arrange an adoption or for the child to be cared for by the State until an adoption can be arranged. You can terminate the pregnancy now with no harmful effects whatsoever-"

"I'm not going to terminate." Lily said immediately. "And I'm not going to give the baby up. I... I lied, Doctor. I'm married." She fished the ring from her purse and showed him. "I just didn't want my husband to know I'm here."

The doctor looked worried. "Are there problems at home? Are you worried for the baby's safety?"

"No, no!" Lily said adamantly. Then she shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "I... my husband is... is in aw enforcement. He works a very dangerous job and... and I didn't want children so soon. Not until things have settled down..."

The doctor smiled and nodded. "Well, I can say that's one of the better reasons to come here. But really, if you are married and you love your husband, having a baby is a wondrous thing."

Lily returned the smile, but didn't know if she felt the same way. "Well, I guess that's true. And I'm glad in a way. Just frightened."

"All right, well I do have a lot of patients to see, so let me get you some pamphlets on what to expect for your first trimester, now I can recommend some very good ob/gyns for you to visit, you really should at this very early stage get a check-up about every few weeks, to make sure things are developing normally." He went over to a cupboard and fished through a pile of brochures and pamphlets, and then handed over three different pamphlets. She read them over. '_Prenatal Care: First Trimester_', '_Development Over the Second Trimester_', '_Your Baby is Coming! Third Trimester Development_'.

"Sounds like a good read." Lily said, tongue in cheek.

[][][][][][]

"Your Baby is Coming...?" James read the title of a pamphlet sitting on Lily's nightstand and raised an eyebrow. Curiosity overtaking him, he flipped it open, reading out loud. "'Congratulations! You are now entering your third trimester…the home stretch! Your breasts are producing ample amounts of colostrum now. Some women may even find their breasts are leaking. This is a reassuring sign for any who might have wondered if their breasts really would provide the needed nourishment for their baby. If yours are not leaking, don't worry, it is in there.' ...uh... Lily?"

"Yes James?"

"Did Alice leave something here the last time she visited?" James asked as she poked her head out of the bathroom.

"No, I don't think so. Why?"

"Cause you've got some... er... literature on your nightstand."

That got Lily out of the bathroom right quick. She snatched the pamphlet from James' hand and cleared her throat loudly. "Oh... yeah... uh... James... we should probably talk."

"Er... okay." James said.

"You should probably sit down. I'm not... really sure... how to tell you... but um..." Lily stammered the words out. "I can't be an active Order member anymore, James."

"What? You don't want to fight in the war?" James looked shocked, and then even a bit angry. "Why not?"

"It's not that I don't want to!" Lily said immediately. "I'm going to keep working for as long as I can, but I just can't join the missions... and I don't know if it's safe for me to go to meetings either."

"I don't understand."

Lily rolled her eyes. "God James... I... well... let's just say that... around July next year... we aren't going to be the only two people in this house."

James stared at her. She groaned in frustration and inhaled deeply. "I'm pregnant James!"

Now he was listening. He sat down hard on the bed, not even sure what to say. "You're... pregnant..."

Lily flushed the darkest red James had ever seen. Even darker than that one time James had hung all her bras and underwear on the mantle of the Gryffindor dormitory in fourth year. "Well... yes, that's what I just said."

He just needed a moment. And then he started to grin, wider than he had ever grinned in his entire life. "Lily! This is great!" He stood, picked her up and swung her around. "Oh, Merlin, Lily! This is the best news ever!"

She started to cry immediately, not exactly the happiest of tears though, and he set her down. "Lily?"

"Oh James, I didn't want it! I was so scared to have this baby, I didn't think we were ready. And the war, and the Order? Everything just all at once. And here you are congratulating me and being so happy."

"Well I am happy! Lily, this might not be the best time, but really, when is there going to be a good time? I mean, the war could end tomorrow, or it could stick around for another few years. If it does end, then either I could go play Quidditch or join Magical Law Enforcement, and either way it's still going to be dangerous." James said.

"I know... I was just so nervous." Lily wiped her eyes. "Plus... you know, the hormones. I feel weepy all the time now."

James kissed her forehead. "Want some bouillabaisse?"

Lily laughed, punching him in the arm. Then they kissed, and Lily had to say... being pregnant wasn't the end of the world.

[][][][][][]

"Merry Christmas." James sat down next to Lily on the couch, handing her a box.

"James, what is this?" She said. "Why do you always surprise me the day before Christmas with something?"

"You love my presents."

She smirked, and opened up the box to reveal a pair of small green booties, almost the same color as her eyes. "Oh James! They're so cute."

"I figured green was a good way to go, since it's unisex. Plus you know... I'm really hoping he or she has your eyes." James smirked. "You know they're my favorite thing about you."

"James, you're too nice." Lily said, holding up the little booties. She was going to cry again. "I'm going to cry now."

"That's okay, love." James held her close as her whacked out hormones once again made her all teary, over nothing but a pair of baby booties. "Welcome to motherhood."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well yay! This chapter started out a bit sad, but for sure it's a happier chapter than the few we've had so far. I wanted to bring Remus back even for a teeny bit. No, he won't be back next chapter either I don't think. Sorry I didn't get to do a fun little Christmas chapter like I usually do, but this is a teeny bit fun? I dunno, the thought of Moody in a santa hat is ridiculous. And you know Sirius and his love of pie. So, as always, read, review, and enjoy!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _I'm loving you guys more and more. As things come to a close I hope you can keep on keeping on!


	58. Chapter 58: A Turn for the Worse

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: January, 1980. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Charlus is a terrible name." James muttered in annoyance.

Lily looked up from the book between her knees. "Why? It's your father after all."

"It's such an old foagie name, Lils. I don't want him to have an old foagie name."

"Hmph." Lily said in irritation. "I suppose you want him to be James Charlus Junior."

"Well why not?" James said. "James is a lovely name."

Lily rolled her eyes, and adjusted the knitting needles awkwardly perched in her fingers. Her eyes studied the picture in the book, and then she slowly clicked the needles together, attempting to copy from the book. "I don't like junior. You'd end up calling him Junior, you know it. It sounds so... I dunno. I just don't like it. Besides, what if it's a girl?"

He rolled his eyes and propped his head up on his hand, fiddling with the dial on the radio to try and get a better signal. "We'll do girl names next... hmm... we could name him Albus."

Lily snickered, and then cursed as she dropped one of the needles, the yarn all tumbling out of it. "Damn it. After Dumbledore? I don't think so. Why, are you gonna ask Dumbledore to be the godfather or something?"

"I don't think so. He's a bit too old to take care of a kid if something happens." James said with some concern. "What about Darren?"

Lily looked at him. "Where's that from?"

James grinned. "Darren O'Hare, inventor of the Hawkshead Attacking Formation. Keeper of the Kenmare Kestrels a while back."

Lily rolled her eyes. "No. No Quidditch players."

"So Hamish is out too then?"

"Merlin's beard, yes." The redhead went back to attempting to knit, then cursing and tossing down both the book and the knitting.

"You know you can buy clothes in stores nowadays? It's the latest trend."

"Shut up. It's supposed to be relaxing and soothing for my raging hormones." Lily inhaled deeply, and then exhaled. "Alistair?"

"Sounds like a Malfoy name." James wrinkled his nose in disgust. Then he smirked. "Balthazar?"

"Are you even serious?" Lily said in exasperation. "Oh, god. I'm going to have to puke again."

James watched her hurry off to the bathroom and waited for her to return. "Did the healers say when the nausea would end?"

"I've been seeing a doctor that specializes in prenatal care. She said it would be another month or maybe more, depending."

"Doctor? You're trusting a Muggle _doctor_?" James said, eyes widening.

"It's not about trust. Of course I trust her. I just like the Muggle doctors a bit better. St. Mungo's is too familiar, that's all. Don't you worry. You can come to one of my visits if you like."

"No thanks. I hate the smell of Muggle doctors. Too... clean I suppose." James said. "I'll make you a nice dinner next time you go though."

Lily collapsed back on the couch, and after a moment of thought, dragged the book and the yarn onto her lap once more to begin sorting it out so she could start over. "What about Jonah?"

James rolled his eyes and shook his head, chuckling. "Heavens no. Let's do girls instead, you're hopeless."

"Dorea after your mother?"

"No. Minerva?"

"After McWhi- McGonagall? Are you mad?"

"I think it's a very pretty name for a girl." James protested.

"Madeline?"

"No. Yvonne?"

"God, no. Elizabeth?"

"Oh, that one's rather nice. What about Amelia?"

"After Amelia Bones?"

"Well actually, I hadn't though about that." James said, blinking in surprise. "Maybe? It's a nice name."

"I like it too actually." Lily said, as though she were surprised to hear herself saying it.

Before they could congratulate each other on possibly choosing a name for their child (if female), a silver-white phoenix flew through the wall. James and Lily at up immediately. Lily was attending the meetings most of the time now, when she wasn't puking her guts out.

Instead of receiving news of the next meeting location, the voice of Dumbledore said something far more shocking. "The Minister was attacked. He is in critical condition at St. Mungo's. Report to the Longbottom's immediately for an emergency meeting."

[][][][][][]

James and Lily jumped up from the couch, immediately leaving the house and Disapparating hand in hand. They appeared at Frank and Alice's, at the exact same time as Kingsley, who looked beaten to hell. Lily hurried to him. "Kingsley! You should be at St. Mungo's!"

"No, I'm fine." He said, though there was no way he could see out of his right eye with how swollen it was. "I'm reporting on the Minister's condition."

"_You_ are in a condition." Lily said sternly, cupping underneath Kingsley's elbow to guide him to the door. James followed behind, looking behind them in paranoia.

There was quite a crowd gathered. Moody had his wand in his hand, inspecting everyone who walked in. Everyone seemed to be prepared for all out war at any moment. Dumbledore looked more serious than James had ever seen him. This was like a whole new level of warfare. The Ministry had been infiltrated, that much was already known. But there had never been an attack on any major Ministry members who weren't known members of the Order.

"Minister Yiddles is not expected to survive the night. He sustained heavy injuries in addition to several Dark curses which we aren't positive how to remove. Cursebreakers from Gringott's are being brought in, but he could be dead before they even arrive." Dumbledore said calmly, as though he were reading an article from Transfiguration Today.

Lily helped Kingsley into a seat, and he cleared his throat. "Two hours ago Minister Yiddles was being escorted down to the lower floor of the Ministry by myself for his safety. He still refused to take any personal guard during his transportation home. However, myself and Moody had both been secretly trailing him back to his house, just to ensure he made it there safely. Tonight I did just that, Apparating behind the Minister to the side of his house at the same moment, so that he wouldn't hear me.

"The moment the Minister arrived at his home, there was an attack. At least five Death Eaters were there. Strangely enough, Voldemort himself was absent. Minister Yiddles was hit with two curses right off, but not the Killing Curse. This was when I stepped in. Until one of them set off a Blasting Curse and brought a nearby lamp post right on top of us. The Minister was struck on the head and fell unconscious, and I managed to duel them back far enough to transport us to to St. Mungo's."

James blinked. "So... there's no saving him?"

"It depends on how hard he was hit." Lily interjected. "He could have gone into a coma. It's like a long sleep that lets a person's body heal on its own as much as possible. But if he doesn't wake back up..."

"He was also bleeding severely, and there's only so much blood potion they can pump into him." Kingsley said.

He seemed very calm, and Lily stood, shaking her head. "Let me get your eye, Kingsley."

She started murmuring spells over the swollen part of his face, and the rest of the Order broke off into small groups. The greatest fear was that Voldemort would find some way to put one of his supporters on the throne. A new Minister had to be found immediately, one that was anti-Voldemort. Everyone seemed to be glancing at Dumbledore. After all, he was famous. About as anti-Voldemort as you could get. Not to mention quite powerful. Dumbledore didn't seem to notice the attention as he and Moody bent their heads over a piece of parchment that Moody had extracted from his coat.

Sirius had been relatively quiet the whole meeting, much to James' surprise. Now though, he leaned forward. "So how do we get Dumbly nominated?" He asked James quietly.

James shook his head. "It's at the discretion of the Wizengamot and other Ministry Officials. I have a feeling they don't want Dumbledore in charge right now, seeing as the first thing he's gonna do is start an active manhunt for all known Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort, then turn around and start pointing fingers at the Purebloods we all suspect are in his inner circle. The Malfoys, Blacks, and Lestranges are all very big financial supporters of the Ministry, and many people's opinions are swayed by them. Even though we know almost without a doubt that they are most certainly Death Eaters, the Ministry won't want Dumbledore dragging their names through the mud if for some insane reason they are able to keep their affiliation a secret."

Sirius scowled, but Frank nodded. "James is right, Sirius. We can't just march in and take these people down, as much as we want to. We need to unmask them."

"Where's Alice?" James asked casually, though a bit worried.

"Nothing official. Sick as a dog from the you-know-what." Frank said with a chuckle. James nodded his head, and Sirius only looked confused for a moment before mouthing "oh". Frank sat up a bit. "How's Lily been?"

"Fine, she's been fine. I mean, still puking all the time, and she gets a bit easily angered. Check this out." James rolled up his sleeve to reveal a rather angry black and purple bruise. "Punches me in the same spot every damn time."

"That's nothing. Look at this." Frank turned around and parted his hair, showing James a large nasty bump on the back of his head. "She Stunned me so hard I broke an end table on the way down."

"Well, as fascinating as this meeting of the Fathers-to-be Club has been, don't you think we should be focusing on the task at hand?" Sirius said boredly.

Frank and James both simultaneously looked at each other and sighed. Sirius glared as James turned his gaze back on his best mate. "You'll understand when you're gonna have a kid."

"Manticores will start using their tails as cradles long before that happens." Sirius shot back.

[][][][][][]

"_Incendio_." Remus muttered, and a spurt of flame came from the end of his wand and lit the white end of the cigarette. He tucked his wand back into his sleeve, and sat down on a rock.

He'd never really liked smoking. James and Sirius had "found" a package of cigarettes somehow – maybe they'd Transfigured it into existence, he had no idea – the summer after fifth year. All of them had taken one, it was manly and cool. Until Sirius and Remus couldn't stop coughing, Peter passed out, and James puked all over himself. Then it wasn't so _cool_, and the four Marauders had thrown the pack of cigarettes out and moved on with summer shenanigans.

He really wasn't sure how it had started. Greyback smoked sometimes, and so did his second-in-command, an older woman named Lucinda. He had joined them once or twice just to be agreeable. Remus frankly hated smoking. The smell, the taste, the buzz it gave him in the back of his head, like a wasp trapped between his ears. It wasn't like he was addicted either. He'd gone without for three weeks before taking the half-a-package from underneath one of the younger werewolves' bedding for himself. She didn't need them anyway, since she hadn't even noticed they were gone.

Now that he was thinking about it though, he had to say that it was the burn. As he put the end into his mouth and inhaled sharply, the heat and ash and whatever other chemicals they used shot through his lungs like a bullet to the chest. He flicked a bit of ash off the end with his thumb, following with a deep breath of cold night air. Burning, freezing, burning, freezing. It made him feel somehow... alive. Alive in a dead forest. And the cigarettes warmed him against the damp and the chill of Northern England in January.

"Penny for your thoughts Lupin." He looked over to see Lucinda, white-haired at 40, sitting on a log nearby the rock where he was perched.

"I wish I had a book." He said honestly. He took another drag, and then watched the smoke furl through the night air, floating upwards to meet the clouds.

"Heh, a book? Still such a wizard, boy." She said coldly, and he shrugged one shoulder.

"Makes me a better spy, doesn't it?" He had gotten used to the way Greyback and Lucinda spoke. They were the rulers of the small pack of werewolves, doing the Dark Lord's bidding. They did all they could to crush the hopes, dreams, and imagination of the pack, until they were mindless drones. Remus was more adaptable than most, and he could ignore it.

"Spose it does. Walking among the wizards like you _belong_. I hope you don't think you can go back."

"Not planning on it." Remus said softly, wrinkling his nose as a bit of hot ash hit his pants, burning them. He brushed it off, ignoring the heat on his fingers. He'd gotten used to pain too. He'd always had a higher pain tolerance, after more than fifteen years of the ebb and flow of the moon through the sky, but now he hardly felt anything.

Lucinda scowled, hating the fact that Remus was so difficult. Difficult in that he didn't get angry or emotional like most of the others did. She and Greyback couldn't get under his skin, couldn't make him let loose. Remus refused to become a weapon for them. "Greyback wants ya, anyhow."

Remus nodded, very carefully pushing the end of the cigarette against the rock to put it out, and then tucking the remainder into his pocket. No use in wasting half a cigarette. They were hard to come by, unless he was going to steal from the local village. Not that he didn't do that already.

Deeming him unfit to be a warrior just yet, Remus was the go-fer for the pack. Any supplies they needed that they couldn't hunt down in the forest, Remus and a young, freshly turned girl named Hilda went into the nearby forest and stole for them. Cigarettes, medicine, clothing, even soap on the rare occasion that Greyback had to wash to meet with Voldemort. Remus didn't mind. It meant he didn't have to deal with pretending when it came time to kill or bite or hunt, didn't have to reveal the fact that he was lying. And then of course he was still able to overhear plans made by Greyback and Lucinda, still able to listen to what the Dark Lord had to say to his army of dark creatures.

Remus returned to the main camp. Tents were a mixture of sticks, leaves, and what tarps or blankets could be smuggled from the village. Fur and blood littered the area around the campfire. Right now it was cooking four, bone-thin rabbits. Food was scarcer now than it had been a few months ago when the weather was warmer. Almost the entire pack was huddled around the fire, trying to stay warm. Greyback however, was standing beneath his "tent", a thick flannel blanket held up by a stick and nailed to a tree, providing him cover. Three sides were covered by animal skins and furs, sloppily sewn together but providing a good deal of shelter against the wind.

Remus approached him, and Greyback rolled his eyes. "Lupin. We're going to need food from the village. Hunting is poor, and we've got to fill up."

The sandy-haired young man glanced up at the moon automatically. Still a week, he judged. "Why?"

Greyback shot out a hand and cuffed him hard on the side of the head. "That's for me to know. Your job is to obey! Get that girl and get out of here. I expect you back in an hour."

"Yes sir." Remus said, though his sullen tone nearly earned him another hit to the head. He was already moving out of reach though, and Greyback apparently didn't think it was worth it.

He walked to the campfire and looked for the girl he had been partnered with for the last several months. He spotted her on the edge. She was a bit of a reject, like him, but not for the same reasons. Remus was on the fringe of the pack because he was "uppity". He kept mostly clean, didn't laugh at the dirty or racist jokes everyone shared, and he was pretty much smarter than most of the others, at least the others that Greyback had had with him for many years. Hilda was an outcast of sorts because she was strange. She refused to eat meat for most of the moon cycle, having hunted down nuts and berries and edible plants back in the fall. Now of course she had no other choice, but still refused. She also never spoke. Not even to Remus, who had been quite kind to her during their visits to town, and who had even managed to coax her into eating some meat the last few weeks just so she wouldn't starve. Remus wasn't even sure her real name was Hilda, it was just what Greyback and the others had called her when they introduced her two months ago.

"Hilda." He said, to catch her attention. She looked at him through thin and tangled strands of black hair. It went well past her waist, covering her face and shoulders, except for two piercing blue eyes. He smiled a bit and motioned with his head. She got up and walked over to where he stood, and they started down the path away from the campsite and toward the forest.

She didn't walk totally upright, hunched over with her arms folded near her chest protectively. Remus tucked his hands into his pockets for warmth. He would use a charm under normal circumstances. He tended not to use magic around Greyback because the alpha thought it was a sign of weakness and would most definitely knock Remus around for it, but when he was away from camp he usually had his wand out. The only time Hilda showed any emotion or made any noise, however, was when she saw a wand, or even a stick that was somewhat shaped like a wand. She would become almost comatose, and start screaming and wailing until the wand was gone and she had been reassured. So Remus had to simply tough it out until later.

She dragged the thin shawl tighter around her shoulders. Remus reached out an arm, wrapping it around her shoulders and pulling her against him. She made no protest, snuggling into his side as they shuffled down the dark path.

It was about a twenty minute walk to the edge of the forest and the small Muggle village. The houses were all dark with one or two exceptions. Remus walked up to the back door of the only small grocery/general store in town. The Muggle owner kept getting more and more advanced locks and security devices, but Remus had managed to bypass them all. Another reason for him to be the go-fer, he was one of only three of the pack who had a wand and could use it with any skill.

"Hilda, go wait at the end of the alley, come and get me if you hear or see anything." Remus said gently. He waited for her to squat down facing the street, and then he slid out his wand. He flicked the lock open, entered, disconnected the alarm system just before it went off, and then turned the corner to come face to face with a tall, angry-looking man.

"You!" He growled, evidently the store owner, holding a golf club in one fist.

Remus quickly raised his wand. "_Confundus_." The shopkeeper wavered on his feet, looking dazed. Remus heaved a sigh of relief and pointed at a chair. "You were just about to sit down. You need to relax. I'm just going to borrow a few things."

"What? Oh... yes, I do need to relax. Go ahead and take what you need."

Remus waited until the man was fully seated, a placid smile on his face, and then he wandered about the store. He picked out several loaves of bread, some blocks of cheese, and a slew of cured meats, knowing those would keep for a while, packing them all in one of the paper bags the grocery had up front. Once he was sure he had enough for the whole pack for a couple of days, he walked by the shopkeeper and turned on the alarm, locked the door, and walked down to the end of the alley where Hilda was waiting.

"All done." He said gently, handing her a roll. She grabbed it with both hands and immediately began to eat. "Let's head back."

She ate every single bite of the roll, even licking the crumbs from the front of her dress as they walked back to camp, while Remus nibbled on another hunk of bread. Greyback was pleased with Remus' full arms, taking the bag and tearing it open, biting into a loaf and dividing the rest up. It was a good thing that both Hilda and Remus had eaten a bit on the way back, because Greyback rationed out the food according to the person's importance in the pack, not according to age or necessity. Remus, Hilda, and a few of the younger ones all ended up with little more than scraps. Remus sat down with a few slices of cheese on a hunk of bread, and a fistful of jerky. He positioned himself so that he could just barely hear Greyback and Lucinda talking on the other side of the fireplace.

"We'll have to move on pretty soon. The Dark Lord wants us closer now that the Minister is dead." He froze, not even chewing his bread so he could hear every word. "We'll take everyone south in a few days. Including main camp. He's planning something big, he wants all of us here, since the Ministry is weakened right now, he wants to strike fast. I'm going to the main camp tomorrow morning. You make sure everyone packs everything up tomorrow, and don't take anything but the tarps, we'll replace everything else."

Remus blinked. The Minister was dead. That meant Voldemort had an opportunity to take over the Ministry. And Greyback going to the main camp of dark creatures, where the trolls and giants and the three or four dementors who refused to work at Azkaban were gathered, meant he was going to report something to them. Greyback was a puppet general for Voldemort, leader of his "army". Voldemort was moving his troops closer. The former Gryffindor shoved the remainder of his bread into his mouth and stood, brushing the crumbs off.

He extracted himself from camp, telling the young man on guard duty that he was going out for a bathroom break and a smoke. Once he was a safe distance away from the glow of the campfire, he pulled out his wand. It was harder and harder for him to conjure his Patronus these last few months. But he closed his eyes, remember his brief meeting with Sirius a month ago, the smell of Sirius' aftershave and the warmth of his arms.

"_Expecto Patronum_." Remus muttered, and from the end of his wand bloomed a large, silver-white dog. For a moment his heart ached as he looked at the great shaggy creature, tongue lolling out of its mouth, some secret joke in its eyes. This Patronus had been his now for two years, but he was grateful for even this little taste of Sirius while he was trapped far from home. "To Dumbledore. Voldemort is moving the pack closer to where ever he is. He's sending Greyback to report something to the main camp, I suspect he'll be moving the entire group south in a day or two. Voldemort is drawing his troops in for something. I do hope that you manage to replace the Minister soon. It's likely Voldemort will attack the Ministry while the decision is still being made. Will send another report as soon as I know more."

The dog bounded off into the leaves when Remus was finished, tucking his wand away and pulling out the remaining half of cigarette from earlier. Watching the only link he had to Sirius leaving him behind made him feel a need for the burning once more.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: So I never intended upon doing a Remus with the werewolves chapter, cause I knew it would just be depressing. However, it was good for the set-up of the next chapter, so I'll have to live with a bit more depressing. Don't worry though guys, Remus is just about done being emo and depressing, as you'll see next chapter. Enjoy!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _So many reviews. And almost all of them are good! I guess I'm doing something right. xD


	59. Chapter 59: The Atrium

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: February, 1980. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Voldemort has been gathering his troops closer to him. He knows that the Ministry is undecided on a new Minister. The Wizengamot is expected to take several days to decide, and in the meantime the Ministry is almost totally vulnerable. Departments are being shuffled around, it's quite dangerous. Basically we have to defend the Ministry as long as possible while they pull their heads outta their asses." Frank propped his leg up on the table, smirking. "We're splitting up, protecting important Ministry officials, and guarding entrances and locations that we know could be targets."

"Alice and Lily will be at St. Mungo's, a place that we are sure they will not be attacking, but a good place to have eyes and ears just in case." Kingsley said. "Dumbledore is meeting with the Wizengamot, we suspect they are going to offer him the Minister's position or at the very least a high ranking position within the Ministry. He will be attending meetings for several days. His function is to protect the Wizengamot, and ensure a good selection for Minister."

"I'll be taking care of guarding the main entrance. We'll be closely watchin' who comes in and out. All those suspected of being Death Eaters will be followed. Frank, James, Sirius, Peter, Kingsley, Emmeline, Katherine, and Harold will be assisting me with the main guard in the Atrium, pairing up in teams for sentry duty." Moody spoke up, leaning back in his seat. "It could be an eventful day, so we're going to be extra vigilant."

"Always are." Frank said immediately.

Moody shot him a look. "Don't be cheeky, Longbottom. This is serious."

"It always is." Sirius pointed out, stretching out his hands.

Both of Moody's eyes pointed at Sirius for a long moment, staring him down. Until the dark-haired man shrunk in his seat and gave a somewhat apologetic smile. "The remainder of our active members will be sprinkled within the Ministry, key locations and exits, but close enough to be called upon if something does happen."

He swirled his wand around in mid-air, and a ghostly image of the lay-out of the Ministry appeared in the air above the coffee table. He prodded the image in various places, and small red dots appeared in corridors, with the largest clustered in the main entranceway. "Memorize your positions."

"Which one is me?" Peter leaned forward happily.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Well that one is the most dashingly handsome, so that's obviously me. And that one is rather... pudgy I suppose. That can be you."

"I don't want to be the pudgy one." Peter complained.

"Silence. Take this seriously." Moody snapped, his ordinary eye looking at Peter, and the large blue one gazed sideways at Sirius through the side of his head. Sirius settled back down on the sofa, glancing sideways.

"I am always Sirius." He said cheekily, but shrank down a bit when Moody glared at him. "Boy, you should think about teaching someday, Mad-Eye. Students would never cross you."

"We don't have time to have a little confab." Moody said impatiently. "We're starting tonight, so everyone get ready."

James looked at Sirius as everyone got up and headed for the door. "Did he really say confab?"

"Without a hint of mirth." Sirius confirmed.

[][][][][][]

"This is a lot more boring than I thought it'd be." Katherine flipped to the same exact page in the three day old Daily Prophet she had been pretending to read for the last two hours. After scanning it, she slowly folded it back up. This had been a ritual for her the entire time she and Sirius had been sitting on the bench in the main entrance hall of the Ministry.

Sirius had been trying to see if he could identify if any of the "magical brethren" in the center of the fountain had any genitals, but without making it look like he was really looking for genitals. He didn't think that they had any, which seemed like a serious flaw in the otherwise charming design. He wondered if Transfiguring the fountain while on sentry duty would be a bad idea.

"Aren't you bored?" Katherine insisted.

Sirius nodded lightly. "Very."

"Well we should talk about something."

"Alrighty. What about?"

"I just went to a Gargling Gorgons concert a while back, you heard of them?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest and twisting a few strands of hair between her fingers.

"I'm not a big fan of German bands. I listen to the Chimaera Crooners sometimes though. They're-"

"Austrian, I know. I love the solo album that their lead singer did. Chumble Spuzz has such an amazing voice."

"The solo album was okay, but I don't know why he chose a piano background instead of guitar. His riffs are practically the best parts." Sirius said, sitting up a bit and smirking.

"Oh, I dunno, I liked their first two in the sixties before he started playing guitars. And what about their single record from '67? I love 'Incendio for the Heart'."

"Wait, you've heard 'Incendio for the Heart'? That thing is impossible to find! The warehouse burned down before they could ship them out, and they never bothered to make more. There are only like three hundred in existence!"

Katherine grinned and shifted on the bench, nodding. "I inherited one from my uncle. It was the first Crooners song I ever heard."

"You have a copy!" Sirius said, his voice raised a bit, alerting some of the old foagies heading through the atrium to work or where ever.

She nodded, looking pleased as punch. "You should come over some time, we can listen to it. It's really inspirational. I mean, it's a beautiful song, even without the riffs, and the flip side has a live version, now that literally changed my life."

"Ah, I'd love that. They are really one of the greatest bands of the last two decades." Sirius said brightly.

Katherine leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was sudden, and he didn't really actively try to stop her. What, he hadn't gotten any in like six months. When she pulled back, she was blushing, and he smiled nervously. Immediately though, he felt quite guilty.

"Uh, Katherine."

"You can call me Katie." She said brightly.

"Katie... I'm... I'm kind of in... something... with another person... I mean... I'm flattered, and you're great, but... "

"Oh." She looked crestfallen, and then turned bright red. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know you had a girlfriend, you never... I mean... I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. I mean... I don't really like mention it... it's just... with all the Order stuff."

"Oh no, I understand. I didn't realize." She settled back on the bench, a few inches farther away than she had been before.

Sirius would have said more, reassured her that she didn't need to be embarrassed, and of course then apologize for letting her kiss him without really saying anything before. Of course, as with so many other things that happened over the course of the war, he'd never get the proper chance.

In the next moment, from three different fireplaces, appeared six people in tall black robes.

[][][][][][]

Sirius leaped up off the bench, his wand sliding out from his sleeve. Katherine was up next to him as well, her wand shooting out. She was the one that shot off a Stunner before he did, as the six Death Eaters immediately turned.

From several places in the Atrium more Order members appeared. Moody and Emmeline from the north end, Kingsley and Harold from near the elevators, and James and Frank from the other side of the fountain.

Immediately one of the Death Eaters shouted something almost unintelligible, and a deep green flame erupted from the wand, and into the air in the Ministry. The people in the Ministry screamed and began to run as the green flames turned into a skull hanging in the air, with a snake coiling out of its mouth. Sirius had never seen the Dark Mark, but he knew it. Frank and Moody and Kingsley and probably Alice too, they'd all seen it, whenever they had to go to a house. Frank had described the skull, but said there was so much more to it than just a shape in the sky. It was a symbol of darkness and destruction, and it was synonymous with death now.

After the Dark Mark went up, the Death Eaters turned to fight. They gathered in a rough circle near the center of the Atrium, their backs to one another, and began shooting off killing spells. The Order scattered to make it harder to hit. Sirius saw two Ministry workers collapse, hit in the back, in their attempt to get away.

The Death Eaters only seemed interested in killing as many as they could. The Order took cover, Sirius diving behind the bench that he and Katherine had been hiding behind. "Katherine, where-"

And there she was. On the other side of the bench, sprawled awkwardly on the ground. Her face wasn't visible, but Sirius had a feeling he knew what it would look like. He felt the need to go out and at least make sure, but he could tell from here she wasn't moving, and with the way she was twisted up she wasn't petrified. And he didn't want to see her face if she wasn't petrified.

But his need to know outweighed his need to stay behind the bench, and he got up, crouching as he hurried to her side. He reached out, brushing a few dark blond strands of hair from her face. He immediately moved his hand back. Yes, she was most definitely NOT petrified. He shook his head and reached out one more time to close her wide-open eyes, and then rose slightly so he could get back into hiding.

Something hit him in the shoulder before he could quite make it back however, and he yelped in pain as his entire arm was filled with a horrible tingling sensation. Then, his hand reached up and headed straight for his throat. No, he was _not_ trying to strangle himself. The curse that the Death Eater had thrown had given his arm a life of its own, and it was now trying to kill him.

He fell to the ground, one of his hands fighting the other, his wand dropped in his haste to prevent himself from being killed completely. He started yelling for help, as his fingers began to close around his throat.

James hurried over, grabbing the hand. "What are you doing?"

"Curse." Sirius hissed, as his arm began to flail wildly in James' grip, smacking the other man across the face so his glasses went flying.

"Shit..." James growled, obviously having no idea what to do. "Uh... _finite incantatum... _shit_... finite malificus_! Fuck, fuck, fuck... Sirius, what do I..."

"Body-bind me you dolt!" Sirius shouted, and James nodded quickly. Seconds later, every muscle in his body slammed together, and he collapsed to the ground stiff as a board. Useless to the fight, but at least his limbs were all trapped.

"I'll be right back for you!" James said quickly, casting a Shield Charm over him and hurrying on his way.

From where he was laying, Sirius could just barely see the action. For there only being six Death Eaters, they were fighting hard. Because the Order refused to use Unforgivables or any dark magic, they were easier to block and shield from, while the Ministry officials and Order were getting their asses royally kicked.

Just when it looked like the Death Eaters might be about to run, one of them shouted. Sirius couldn't quite hear what he was saying over the din of the skirmish, but seconds later the body of Katherine next to him rose up, as did two of the Ministry officials laying off to Sirius' left.

He watched with growing horror and disgust as the dozen or so victims to the Death Eater's killing spells got back up on their feet, and began to shuffle towards the nearest person standing outside the circle of Death Eaters. _Inferi_, he wanted to scream, as Katherine's dead eyes looked at him, and her head cocked to the side. Obviously deciding if she should bother to kill him or not. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't call for help. Apparently she was going to be thorough, because she reached out, and a hand that wasn't quite cold, but wasn't the right body temperature either, wrapped around his throat.

"_INCENDIO_!" James shout caused Katherine to look up blindly, before a ball of red flames pushed her back, causing her to fly into the fountain. "Sorry, mate."

He wished he could glare in that moment, because if he could James would be getting the glare of a lifetime. James smirked as though he knew what Sirius was thinking, and nodded, before turning and sending another Inferi off with another fireball to the chest.

"They're usin' the Inferi as cover for escape!" Moody roared from his spot.

James got up quickly, and rushed away again. With a yell, his Stunner broke through the Shield on one Death Eater and hit him square in the chest. Moody followed that with a Stunner of his own, and the man flew backwards. The entire group scattered, running for the fireplaces. Moody, Kingsley and Frank all sprinted out from where they were, but between the Inferi and the destruction of most of the Atrium, they were slowed down just enough that all five got away.

Sirius lay on the ground, trying not to panic, really needing to just twitch a finger, at least once. He was not made to stay still for a long period of time.

[][][][][][]

"Oh thank Merlin." Sirius rotated his arm slowly in its socket, sighing.

Lily chuckled. "What, were you afraid we were gonna cut it off?"

"Wait, you do that?"

"Only in the most extreme cases."

Sirius gave her an incredulous look, and she smiled, patting his knee. "So tell me more, you've barely said anything."

"Well, I was the only one seriously hurt... everyone else who didn't make it is dead." He said rather coldly, rubbing his elbow.

"I'm sorry. James told me about the Inferi. I can't even imagine. Katherine and Harold, it's really terrible. Poor Harold, he was a year younger than us even, I can't believe it..."

Sirius shrugged. He wasn't exactly going to get all weepy about it. Of course he was upset, Katherine had been nice and barring the awkwardness that might have cropped up from the kiss he had really been looking forward to listening to some music with her. "It's fine. I mean... if I hadn't gotten cursed I'd have been the one setting them on fire..."

Lily frowned and nodded. "Well I do hope you'll take a bit of a break. I know it doesn't sound that interesting, but just laying in bed can make you feel better."

"I'm going home and going to bed." Sirius said with a sigh.

"Oh, before I forget, James said they caught one of the Death Eaters. Who was it?"

"Karkaroff. Foreigner that Moody's been tracking for months. Got hit with two Stunners to the chest though, I heard he's in the prison ward here to recover for a day. Then the Wizengamot wants a piece of him. Moody is thrilled." Sirius muttered the last sentence under his breath.

"Well it's nice to focus on the good parts of what happened." Lily pointed out gently, touching his arm. He jerked it away.

"Yeah, the good parts. One Death Eater for two Order members and almost ten Ministry officials." Sirius practically growled, and then got up off the exam table. "Tell James I'll talk to him later."

"Alright. You get some rest." Lily watched him go, obviously looking concerned.

[][][][][][]

"Sirius?" He entered the kitchen. "Where are you?"

"...Remus?" Sirius appeared in the doorway.

"Goddamn, you look like shit." Remus walked forward.

"You don't look any better." Sirius said. He had a healthy growth of stubble on his face, but a grin was slowly working its way over his lips, as though he hadn't smiled in quite a while. "Coming back to tease me?"

"No, I'm back." Remus confirmed, laying his coat on the counter and walking forward.

Sirius looked at him slowly, and his smile became much more realistic. They met in the middle of the room, but rather than the kiss that Remus was expecting, Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus and buried his face in Remus' chest. He was perfectly silent, just holding onto Remus like he was trying to merge them together. Remus reached up and ran his fingers through Sirius' hair, stroking through it. Sirius exhaled a deep, hefty sigh, sinking against Remus for a moment.

"I love you." Sirius mumbled. It was muffled by Remus' clothing, and spoken almost too quietly to hear, but Remus heard it.

Remus kissed Sirius' temple, and was met by a voracious kiss in return. Sirius grabbed his shirt. It was one of his oldest shirts, so as Sirius fumbled for the buttons he ended up tearing them. Remus wanted to protest, but seeing as their mouths were still glued together he merely grunted. Sirius either didn't notice or really didn't care. Remus was sure it was the latter.

An hour later Remus collapsed into the blankets and nuzzled up against Sirius. "So what's wrong with you?"

"What?" Sirius looked down at Remus, raising an eyebrow. He seemed in a fantastically better mood.

"You're upset about something." Remus pointed out.

"I am not." Sirius grumbled.

"You're scratchy too." Remus rubbed Sirius' cheek, where he had a stubbled goatee several days in the making.

"I'll shave."

"And I know you haven't bathed in a few days. When's the last time you left the apartment?" Remus demanded, sitting up a little ways.

"Stop it." Sirius said curtly. "You've only been home for like a hour, and you look like shit, and you've lost way too much weight, and you've got more grey in your hair than McGonagall."

"I do not." Remus touched his temple self-consciously. "I'm just fine."

"Then so am I." Sirius said, an immature but stubborn twitch to his jaw.

"Oh, so this is personal. You're mad at me." Remus sat up completely, narrowing his gaze.

"I'm not mad." There was no change to his jawline.

"You are! You are taking it personally or something, that I had to go on that mission for six months. You're offended!"

"It's not about you!" Sirius hissed. "What the hell do you think I've been doing the last six months? Moping around the house waiting for you? People have died, Remus! While you've been off playing super spy!"

"Oh, you think I've had a fun time of it? You think living under a tarp in the middle of winter was a super fun experience? You think that getting the shit beat out of me so that I could provide Dumbledore with half-assed information was a great six months? Fuck you Sirius." Remus got out of bed, raging slightly. "You think I haven't seen people die? Have you ever seen someone killed by a man's bare hands? Well I have! So fuck you if you think that I abandoned you to play some kind of game!"

He stormed off into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He turned on the shower as hot as it would go, and climbed in. He spent a moment with his head turned up into the water, nearly drowning as he tried to scrub himself clean.

A few minutes later the door to the bathroom opened, and Remus sighed as Sirius dragged back the shower curtain, looking at him very much like a kicked puppy.

He climbed in the shower, and Remus sighed and moved over, but willingly let him join. They bathed in silence, Sirius running his fingers down Remus' shoulders as his apology.

It was good enough, Remus supposed. Good enough that he was home, that things would be okay, and that they were together again.

"So, tell me what I've missed." Remus said with a smile.

"Oh... lesse... Lily and Alice are knocked up-"

"What!" Remus' eyes widened. "That's... well that's wonderful!"

"Supposedly." Sirius laughed. "It's made James absolutely insufferable. Watching Lily punch him has been a treat though."

"Ah, just like the old days." Remus said with a smirk.

"Other than that, everything is the same as it's always been. Fighting Death Eaters, catching hardly any of them, Dumbledore making plans, Moody being vigilant."

Remus snickered a bit, running his fingers through Sirius' hair again. "You need to shave, and I'm going to give you a haircut. This is ridiculous. Gone for six months and you can practically braid it into pigtails."

"I like adding the ribbons. Makes me feel pretty." Sirius said happily, fluttering his eyelashes.

Remus rolled his eyes and shoved Sirius under the water. Much better. Yes, _everything_ was much better.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well, Remus is finally home. Now we're gonna be skipping a bit more here and there, most of the remainder of 1980 except of course for the best event of all. Read and enjoy!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _Omigosh, there are just SO MANY reviews and reviewers. You guys are the best!


	60. Chapter 60: False Prophets

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: April, 1980. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Ugh, still raining. Guess going for a broom ride is out." James said, staring out the window. "Welcome to spring in Godric's Hollow."

"I was looking forward to getting some fresh air." Lily complained. She slumped into the armchair, staring at her dress, which was significantly stretched along the waistline. "Then again, maybe I shouldn't ever leave the house again, or else my enormously fat waist will scare everyone off."

"Lily, it's not fat, it's the baby, I keep telling you this."

"I'm a cow, an absolute cow." Lily whined, and then took a deep breath and sighed.

"We'll go out to dinner at that nice cafe that you like." James walked over and began to gently rub her shoulders over the edge of the chair.

"Mmm, that's lovely... OH!" Lily shrieked and jerked upright, her hand on her rounded stomach. "James! I just felt it move!"

"What?" James quickly moved around the edge of the chair, placing a hand next to hers. "I can't feel anything."

"No, it was moving, definitely moving..." Lily said excitedly. "Not much... just a fluttering... no wait, there it was!"

James froze. There under his fingers, he definitely felt movement. He was suddenly captured by an intense fear, followed by a burst of love he'd never thought himself capable of.

"James, did you feel it?"

"Yeah, yeah I did..." He said, his voice slightly awed. Lily laughed, kissing him firmly.

There was a knock on the door, and they both perked up. Lily looked confused. "We aren't expecting anyone, are we?"

James shook his head, pulling out his wand as he went to the door. "Name?"

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore." Came the response from the other side. "You, James Potter, once snuck into my office and stole a bag of lemon drops, which I caught you doing and let you off with a mere warning, despite the fact that it was my last bag."

James felt a bit of a blush as he slowly opened the door. "Hello, Professor."

"Hello, James. I'm afraid I have some important news that simply couldn't wait. It's concerning yourself and Lily, as well as Frank and Alice."

James opened the door all the way, and Dumbledore walked in. "Come right in. Would you like some tea or bicuits? Lily's been baking up a storm, she loves the smells."

"Tea is fine, thank you. One sugar, a squeeze of lemon if you don't mind."

Lily was already in the kitchen, and nodded to James as they walked by, indicating she had already heard of the request for tea and was working on it. James guided Dumbledore into the living room, where the elderly wizard sat in an armchair with his hands folded in his lap. When Lily came out several moments later with three steaming cups of tea, he took it between his hands and sipped gently.

"Wonderful, thank you Lily."

"Not a problem Professor." She said, nibbling on the edge of a biscuit with a smile.

"You said you had important news?"

Dumbledore nodded. "After this I have to report straight to the Ministry to give them the information. I've already told Frank and Alice. Today I interviewed for a new Divinations teacher, at the Hog's Head. Sybil Trelawney was her name. I was not sure if I was even interested in continuing the study of Divination at Hogwarts, it has always been a field of guesswork and little to no science. I am sure that is why so many of my third year students choose to take it."

James grinned sheepishly at that, seeing as he and Sirius had taken the class just because of those reasons. Dumbledore shook his head a moment later. "However, as I turned to go, Miss Trelawney proved herself to be quite the Seeress. She uttered a genuine Prophecy, one that concerned the Dark Lord himself."

James and Lily froze, gazing at Dumbledore, who took a breath and then began to recite what he obviously had been turning over in his head ever since leaving the Hog's Head. "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives."

The Potters sat very still, and for a moment James had absolutely no idea what any of it meant. Lily however, had always been the clever one, and after a moment she gasped. "Someone having a child at the end of the seventh month – or July – is going to give birth to a boy who will vanquish Voldemort?"

James blinked, and realized that that was indeed what the prophecy was saying. Then he started to put the pieces together. The end of July was Lily's due date. And as members of the Order surely they had defied him at least three times. "You think the prophecy applies to us."

"Or the Longbottoms." Lily interjected. "Alice is due at the end of July too. We're going to be having babies during the same week at least."

"Well we don't know if we're even having a boy yet." James said hesitantly. "And neither do they, right?"

"That doesn't matter." Lily said quietly. "You think Voldemort will want to wait to see what the gender of our babies are before he decides to kill us?"

James froze, and Dumbledore put down his mug of tea. "I do not believe there is any worry of Voldemort attacking you at this time. I was the only one to have heard the prophecy."

"You can't be sure of that." James accused. "Anyone could have been listening. Hell, you could have one of Voldy's cronies following you around everywhere."

"I am aware of that. But I do believe that you don't have to worry overly much. Now, there is the matter of the spy in the Order. This means that it is likely that if we share this information among other Order members, the prophecy that is, that it will be passed on to Voldemort."

"You haven't made any headway whatsoever?" James said, leaning back in his seat and looking discouraged.

"I'm afraid not. The spy is quite clever." Dumbledore finished his tea. "I do have to hurry to the Ministry. All prophecies are stored in a safe location, and I must report my knowledge immediately. Frank and Alice have already been informed of their possible involvement in this. We can only hope to either prevent the prophecy from coming true by getting rid of him ourselves, or hope that the boy born remains safe."

James nodded and stood as Dumbledore did. "Well I'll be putting further protections on the house, at least until we are positive."

"A good plan." Dumbledore nodded, and smiled at Lily. "Lily, you are looking absolutely stunning by the way."

She flushed darkly and placed a palm on her stomach, nodding at him. "Thank you Professor."

The two watched the older wizard leave, and then looked at each other again. Could their child be some kind of savior? And in that case could he be in mortal danger?

[][][][][][]

"Where did you go?" Remus asked as Sirius walked in the door.

"Out." Sirius said, glancing at Remus. "What are you doing?"

"Making some popcorn." Remus said brightly. "Would you like some?"

"Not really." The dark-haired man dropped his coat on the sofa. Remus rolled his eyes and flicked his wand at the coat, and it flew into the closet and hung itself on a hanger.

Sirius scowled at him. "Do you have to do that?"

"Well I'm sorry I don't like it sitting around." Remus shook the pot even more as he began to hear popping under the lid. "I just try cleaning up once and a while."

The other man said nothing as he headed into the bathroom. When he emerged ten minutes later Remus was pouring popcorn into a bowl, and sprinkling some salt on top of it. Sirius paused in the doorway and looked at him.

Ever since Remus had come back things had been strained. Sirius didn't know why, but he was always annoyed at Remus. Even when Remus was doing something that was just in his nature... no, _especially_ when Remus was doing something in his nature. At first Sirius had suspected it was just because he had gone seven months without someone picking up after him all the time and he had done just fine, but after a while he began to suspect something different.

He had no idea what Remus had been doing those seven months. Even after Remus had returned he had refused to share anything about the longest period of time that either of them had ever been apart. Really, they had been constant companions since age eleven. Never apart for more than a couple of months over summer vacation, and even then there were letters almost every day. Sirius hated writing letters back then, but he had always responded to Remus. They were together for the last nine years without fail. And then Remus packed up and left on some Order mission, and when he came back he expected everything to return to normal.

"Hey, maybe I'll share with you. Wanna listen to the wireless?" Sirius said as he entered the kitchen, trying to be apologetic as he rested his hands on Remus' waist.

Remus smiled and nodded. He didn't seem to mind Sirius' bad moods most of the time. It was almost like he was oblivious to the constant strain that was on their relationship now. Or maybe he was just trying to avoid further breakdowns.

They settled down on the sofa together, the bowl of popcorn shared between their laps. Sirius flicked on the wireless, adjusting the dials until the news was coming in clearly. Remus was resting against his chest, and seemed content to listen in silence, eating popcorn. He didn't talk much anymore, not that their relationship had ever really been about talking.

His thoughts turned back to the last Order meeting, as it always did while listening to the news. Dumbledore's announcements about his investigations into the spy in the Order. Of course he never said how. After all, he was probably sitting in the same room as the spy. Sirius looked at Remus.

He was ashamed to say that the thought had crossed his mind more than once. It might have been that subconscious knowledge that was causing his inner strife. And outwardly affecting them. Remus had been away. And Sirius had put the pieces together enough to know that Remus had been close to members of Voldemort's armies. He might have been passing information to Dumbledore, but what information had he been giving _them_?

What a horrible thought. His absolute distrust of the only person who meant anything to him at all. He reached out to touch Remus' cheek, and when the other man turned to him, Sirius pressed a kiss to his lips, as though apologizing for his very thoughts.

[][][][][][]

Remus accepted the kiss, even though he was still in the middle of chewing on a piece of popcorn. When Sirius turned away, a sense of guilt formed in his stomach. After all, the collapse of what they had once had was surely his fault.

His constant suspicions weren't helping either. Two weeks ago Sirius received a letter by owl. The Black family seal was on the envelope in bright red wax, something that neither of them had seen in many years. His mother writing, informing him of the death of Orion and Regulus Black. Remus hadn't really understood why, when he asked Sirius had only gotten angry, tore up the letter, and told Remus it was probably so she could blame him somehow for the poor choices Regulus had made.

Remus wasn't so sure. Why would a mother who hadn't spoken to her estranged son in over three years suddenly write him a letter telling him that his father and brother were dead? He could only think of two reasons. She actually cared enough to tell Sirius the news, or it was a code of some kind. Some kind of tell that would let Sirius know. He had never gotten the chance to scour the letter to see if he could confirm it was even from Sirius' mother. Of course later on when he actually felt the desire to do so, he immediately suppressed that.

What was he thinking? Sirius was more anti-Black, anti-Slytherin, and generally anti-Voldemort than anyone he knew. Hell, Remus had more cause to be the spy than Sirius did. Remus was the member of a minority that was trampled by the "modern" Ministry. He wasn't going to be able to find as good a job as the one he'd had at the library ever again most likely. And Voldemort had consistently promised people like him that when the new regime came he would have a better life than he'd ever done.

Now, Remus was not stupid enough to believe it was true. He knew very well that if Voldemort ever got what he wanted, then the next thing he would do was go on a campaign against the "freaks". Werewolves would probably be the first to go. Greyback was a fool, and Remus knew that. But that didn't mean that he wasn't still more eligible than Sirius.

But what if. What if indeed. What if one of Sirius' old "buddies" like Lucius Malfoy or his cousin Bellatrix happened to get a hold of him? What if they had a talk and Sirius decided that maybe Voldy's methods were the better ones after all? He had Black blood in him despite everything else. Maybe blood was thicker than water.

No, no, he really shouldn't be thinking things like this. It was wrong. He loved Sirius. He really did. And the thought of suspecting him of something as serious as this made him shudder. As the murder of at least half a dozen Order members. Of Caradoc. Of nearly getting everyone killed a hundred times over. Sirius himself had nearly died now more than once because of what the spy had given away. Didn't that make him ineligible?

Remus didn't know what he knew anymore. A year ago everything had been so much more beautiful. Almost perfect. He and Sirius moving in together, James and Lily getting married, Peter doing... whatever Peter did. And everyone happy. They had a cause, they were fighting for freedom, they had righteous values and they believed in justice. It was as though a year had taken it all away.

He turned on the couch, knocking over the bowl of popcorn as he kissed Sirius ferociously. Sirius responded instantly. At least there was one thing between them that had remained the same. But even this was desperate, as though trying to recapture something they'd lost.

[][][][][][]

"This is incredible news you see." Voldemort said, peering off to the side. "That a boy born to someone who has defied me will end up destroying me. Can you imagine how that makes me feel, Pettigrew?"

Peter shifted a bit. He didn't know who's house they were in today. Voldemort seemed to just stay in any house he felt like taking over at any state in time. And he did get bored easily with things. "... Bad?"

"Bad..." Voldemort actually might have rolled his eyes, but he wasn't really looking at Peter so the blond couldn't tell. "Yes, you always put it so _aptly_, Pettigrew. And now, I need to know a few things. You see, I can't let this happen. I have campaigned for so long, and this little prophecy could derail all of that. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes..." Peter said, fidgeting, and then freezing as Voldemort turned a fiery gaze directly at him.

"Who do you know that fits the criteria?"

"I... I don't know..." Peter said hesitantly. "A-anyone in the Order could have defied you..."

"Obviously. It is going to be a living couple, Pettigrew." Voldemort said carefully, as though he were growing frustrated with a small child.

"Couple..."

"Who are expecting this summer." Voldemort added, the tip of his wand just showing between his fingers.

Peter froze, panic rising up in his throat, making it impossible for him to think. "I... I don't know! I can't..."

"Then you are of no use to me, are you?" The wand slid out further.

"No... no wait! I... Yes! I know... Frank and Alice Longbottom... they're expecting this summer." Peter said hastily, knotting his fingers together so they would stop shaking.

Voldemort nodded. "Very good. Anyone else?"

His heart stopped, and for a moment he wondered if it would just be better to die. James was his best friend, his only true friend, through all of Hogwarts. Yes, he had been a bit of an outsider among the Marauders, but he was still a Marauder, wasn't he? Didn't they still care about him, as much as they ever had? He could say no, he could protect them. What was his life compared to James or Lily, or even their baby? He was worthless, but in saving them he could redeem himself and at least die with honor.

Voldemort seemed to sense his hesitance, and it displeased him. "Pettigrew. Tell me what you know. I will fetch Belltrix if I have to."

"James and Lily Potter." Peter said without thinking further about the matter. Surprisingly enough, he hardly felt guilty about it. All he knew was that he wanted to leave here alive and unharmed, and take a nap. "They're having a baby in July."

"Very good. You have remained loyal to me, Peter. Return home now, and await my next request."

With the dismissal, Peter stood, turning to the door and then hastily turning back, giving a low bow, and then leaving quickly. Once outside the room, back in the main corridor, he touched his chest. It had a peculiar ache to it. He didn't quite know what it meant, but it felt rather like losing someone he loved.

[][][][][][]

"We're going on vacation." James announced. "And we want you guys to come."

Remus blinked and looked at James with a raised eyebrow. "Vacation?"

"Yep, the four of us and Lily, sort of like old times. I was going to just have a guy's weekend, but she's finally at the stage where she can get up and get out. She gets a little tired out easily, but she's not puking every five minutes, and I don't think it's fair to leave her alone."

"We're all going?" Sirius said, grinning.

"Yep. Heading out into the country for a week or so. My dad had a little cottage, it's surrounded by woods and farmland, and there's a river nearby for fishing. It's south, so it'll be a bit warmer than here. I can't tell you exactly where it is, we're keeping this hush hush." James smirked. "Dumbledore is the only one who knows roughly where we are going, the rest of the Order is only going to know that we're out of town for a week. It'll be great. It's still a bit chilly, but I think just getting away for a little bit is going to help."

"Yes, everyone's been a bit stressed." Remus looked over at Sirius, who looked right back hesitantly.

"Sounds like fun!" Peter piped up happily.

James smiled brightly. "It's been ages since we've just been Marauders."

"Marauders plus one." Sirius pointed out.

"It's fine, all Lily does is bake biscuits and pies and rest. She's probably going to be doing her own thing. Anyway, Sirius, I want you to come with me in advance, we've got to air the place out. Remus, you can pack for the both of you, can't you? We're leaving tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Remus said in surprise.

"What, you don't have any commitments. Dumbledore thought this was a great idea, a little spring getaway." James stretched as he stood. "We'll be back to take you guys by Side-along. Lily's not allowed to Apparate anymore anyway."

Sirius grabbed James' arm as he spun, and after a dizzying moment they were in front of a small house surrounded on two sides by woods, on side by a river, and then the front of the house looked out onto a small dirt road that lead out to several other small farms.

"Only Muggles around for miles, and an easily defensible perimeter." James said as he started walking around the edge. "We put a couple sensing spells on the woods, alerts us to anyone coming from those directions, another over the water, then we only have to be vigilant about the front of the house, but the road is simple enough..."

"So, we didn't really come here to clean." Sirius said as James pulled out his wand and started muttering.

"We'll open up the windows and dust a bit, yes." James said with a short nod. "But the main point of coming here is to make sure that this house is secure."

"You're absolutely paranoid."

"With good reason." James said, looking over at his best mate. "Have I ever been frightened of anything, Pads?"

"You about shat your pants when we had to deal with those spiders third year, but I wasn't exactly fresh as a daisy after that encounter either. Suppose not." Sirius acknowledged with a nod as he flicked his wand, adding his own protections to the spells James was using.

"Yeah well, I'll tell you right now, I'm scared shitless almost all the time now." James said, pausing near the edge of the stream and gazing at his reflection in the water. "Not about dying. Not even about Voldy attacking us. I'm scared that I'll lose Lily, or the baby, or any of you guys. The Marauders will always be my family, and Lily and the baby are even more important than that, no offense. I felt it, you know. It's moving, alive. Lily says she'll know the gender by her next check-up. It's a miracle... but it's terrifying too. How are we supposed to keep a baby safe, when we can barely keep ourselves out of trouble? I haven't slept a full night in months. Half the reason for taking this vacation is to get away from the Order and everything for a while, and the other half is because we might have to go into hiding soon, and I want Lily to enjoy herself at least one more time."

Sirius stood next to him, obviously not knowing what to say. "Hey, mate..." He eventually said lamely, clapping James on the back. "It's a war, everything's pretty damn scary. You know, I don't... I'm not one for kids myself... but I think you'll be an awesome dad."

James laughed, pushing his unruly hair back from his forehead. "Do you wanna be godfather?"

"What?"

"If something happens to Lily and I, we want to pick a godfather. Someone who can support the baby, raise him at least a little bit. I figured... you and Remus could handle it."

"Remus is way better with kids."

"Yeah but... Lily _wanted_ to pick Remus, but financially... well, you know how _I_ feel about Remus'... condition. But the rest of the world isn't as kind. I don't want a kid growing up without a steady source of income, and I know that Remus would never intentionally hurt a child or anyone, or anything period, but he's not Remus that day..." James sighed.

"I see what you mean. So Remus is out. Why not someone in the Order? Dumbledore?"

"Too old." James rubbed his temple. "We considered Frank and Alice. They've got a fair amount of money, plus they'll have a kid exactly the same age. But Pads, I'll be honest, I trust you more. I know you'll be an awesome guardian if something happens, and Remus will help you out, and really, it's only just in case."

Sirius thought about it a moment, James could see his brain working. Then he smiled, squeezing James' shoulder. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it. I'll be his... or her, godfather."

"Great. Now get your arse in gear and help me finish these protections." James said, shoving his friend slightly back towards the house, and earning a cuff to the side of the head.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: As we can see here, the Prophecy has finally been told. And we can see how the continuation of the war puts a strain on everyone's relationships, even the most connected ones. And Sirius agrees to be the godfather. I've always been iffy about religion concerning wizards, as you might have noticed, I've managed to avoid it just as JKR did in the books. In my opinion, I don't think that James and Lily chose to baptize Harry and choose a godfather for religious reasons. I believe that they did it because they knew that if they died someone would have to take care of their son. That's just my opinion though, as I'm not very religious myself, but I think it holds merit based on what JKR seemed to imply about the wizarding world.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _Sixty chapters and almost 500 reviews. Fantastic guys! I can't thank you enough.


	61. Chapter 61: Small Miracles

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: June/July, 1980. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Holy shit."

James balked as he saw Mad-Eye Moody walk into the room. His entire face was covered in bandages, except for his mouth, one ear, and his good eye. The one that held his "mad-eye" so to speak, was also covered with a bandage, but James knew that if the eye was still in its socket that wouldn't hinder Moody in the slightest.

Moody gave him a look; even though almost none of his features could be seen James knew it was a glare. "Sorry mate." The bespectacled man said, wincing. "It was just a bit of a shock."

"Despite the fact that we seem to be on our last legs here," Dumbledore began, pressing the tips of his fingers together to form a steeple over his chest, "we are managing to find more Death Eaters than we thought we would be able to. Yesterday, Alastor made a daring attempt on Evan Rosier and his partner Wilkes, men we know to be mostly responsible for Fabian and Gideon's capture back in April of last year."

"Dirty cowards nearly took my whole face off." Moody growled. "They died in the fight."

"It's a disappointment because we won't be able to question them for more identities."

"Doesn't matter. Based on what Karkaroff gave in his session, hardly any of them know for sure who the others are. Karkaroff was pretty low on the food chain though. And though he gave us Dolohov's identity he had no bloody idea where the slimeball might be." Moody said. Apparently getting shot in the face with a curse had not improved his mood any.

"It is our prime directive for now that the entire Order assist in the hunting down of known Death Eaters. And as always, identifying without a doubt suspected Death Eaters."

"I keep telling you all who I know are Death Eaters." Sirius piped up. "Half my ruddy family is waltzing around out there under those black hoods."

"Sirius, we know that you have great suspicions surrounding your family. However, we cannot go on suspicions. We need hard evidence, or they will never withstand a Wizengamot trial. Lucius Malfoy has already been detained twice, and the Minister herself was forced to write an apology letter for it." Dumbledore was almost scolding, enough that Sirius settled back down in his seat, though he was still scowling.

"And I hate letting 'em go after we bring 'em in, cause they get even more careful afterwards." Moody added, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dumbledore nodded and pulled out a large piece of parchment from his robes. On the parchment, attached with Spellotape, were dozens of newspaper clippings, both from Muggle newspapers and from the Daily Prophet. "Now, Kingsley is still on full-time duty guarding Minister Bagnold. In the meantime, we have several locations which seem to be Death Eater 'hunting grounds' so to speak. These popular Muggle restaurants, bars, street corners, and municipal buildings have been the sites of Death Eater violence against Muggles. It is of vital importance that we protect the Muggles from what we can. It is our duty as the wizarding community not to allow harm to come to them. I would like to assign each of you to a location, to be watched for a few hours per day, namely at night and at the busiest times of day, when there is more of an audience for the Death Eaters. Until we can bring the amount of violence on Muggles down."

They all received their assignments. James and Frank both got street corners where only one or two incidents had happened. After all, with their wives well into their eighth month of pregnancy, they had to take care of them first. Peter on the other hand, didn't get an assignment at all. Dumbledore's reasoning was that "Peter's observations at the Ministry were more important", and that he'd run out of locations to hand out.

After that the meeting adjourned. Dumbledore stood first, and caught James' eye. "James, can I please speak to you for a moment?"

He walked over, and Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, Professor?"

"Professor Slughorn is retiring at the end of the school year."

"What? Why?"

"He's just feeling rather like he'd like to take a long vacation. I think it has something to do with the current climate, but he plans on going to Turkey for several months at least. In any case, while he was packing up his office he found this picture of Lily, and he asked me to make sure it got to her."

James looked at the picture. It was of the dinner party that he had attended. Lily in that blue dress, James was whispering something in her ear and she was laughing a bit. "She looks so beautiful."

"She'll always be beautiful to you, James." Dumbledore touched his shoulder lightly, and James grinned.

"Thanks for the picture, I'll make sure she gets it. I think she'll like it."

[][][][][][]

"Another letter from Alice." James said, opening the window and allowing the dark brown owl to hop inside. He took the letter that the owl was holding, and set a small bowl of water and owl pellets on the kitchen counter. As the owl drank and ate, James handed the envelope over to Lily.

"Ah, poor thing. She's been on bedrest for the past month and a half because the baby is sitting too far back. Pressing against her spine, causing her all kinds of trouble." Lily popped the wax seal off and pulled out the parchment. "Letters are her only contact with the outside world."

"She's not been putting anything foolish in the letters?" James asked, a certain amount of paranoia in his voice.

"Don't be silly. We just talk about names, and preparation for the baby. She wanted to know how we decorated the nursery." Lily smiled. "I told her that we chose green because it's a gender-neutral color. They're thinking of naming the baby after his father, but she's not sure how she feels about Neville."

"You chose green. And Neville Longbottom does sound rather unfortunate." James pointed out, petting the owl kindly on the head and then grabbing a cookie off the plate, nibbling. "You decorated most of the nursery, I just did all the work."

"Ha." Lily scoffed. "You waved your wand. I don't think that counts. Especially because you just Transfigured all the existing furniture."

"Hey, that was my childhood furniture that I gave up for the baby. I liked my room." James pointed out. "I just thought it would be easier than hauling things in and out of the house."

"No, you just didn't want anyone else in the house. You've become a complete hermit." Lily sat down on the couch, and James quickly walked over to place a few pillows under her feet, so that they were higher than her hips.

"I'm just worried. The Prophecy... and I care about you." He said, offering her the plate of cookies. "Biscuit?"

"Yes, I suppose. I can't get any fatter." Lily said with a smile. "Don't think that by being nice to me I'll allow you to continue to deprive me of socialization."

"Not at all. As soon as the Longbottom's have their kid, we can have a nice little baby party. To make up for the fact that you didn't get a proper baby shower." James kissed Lily's temple, and she rolled her eyes.

"Stop being so damn agreeable! And go away. I've got to write Alice back- OH. And you! You need to cut it out!" The last few parts were directed at her enormous stomach. "You'll drive Mummy mad from all this kicking. Do you want your poor Mummy to go mad before she even has you?"

James bit back a snicker. "Still kicking?"

"Like a little machine." Lily complained, making an uncomfortable face. "I swear it's spot on the half-hour, every half-hour, like it's on a schedule."

"All right, you write your letter. Would you like a foot rub?" James offered, sitting on the coffee table next to her raised feet.

She sighed. "You are purposefully making it difficult to be mad at you, do you know that?"

"I know. But you can never resist one of my foot rubs." James said, picking up one of her feet and slowly pushing his thumbs in little circles. Lily made a very pleased noise, and James chuckled.

[][][][][][]

"Oh! I swear, you're going to be just like your father." Lily shook her head as she folded the small linens, placing them on the changing table in the nursery. July had come and almost gone, and she'd spent most of it putting some finishing touches on the nursery. By hand of course, because James had hid her wand after she Jelly-leg Jinxed him for the third time. But she didn't mind folding up towels and blankets and adjusting the location of the rocking chair and the smaller tables.

"LILY!" James yelled, thundering up the stairs.

"What?" She poked her head out of the nursery, looking worried.

"Alice just went into labor. She's at St. Mungo's right now, Frank sent me a note." James held the piece of parchment aloft. Frank's usually neat handwriting was scribbled across the page in huge letters.

"Oh my gosh, that's wonderful!" Lily said happily, clapping her hands. "Aw, she's going to have her baby before me. This little rascal is going to be late on purpose. The doctor said at least another week at my last check-up."

"Taking after his or her dad I see." James reached out to touch Lily's stomach, feeling a much more vivacious movement beneath his fingers than he had a few months ago. "I think we should take the kicking as a good sign. Means it's healthy."

"Healthy indeed. And exhausting me while it's at it." Lily said with a "hmph".

[][][][][][]

"Dear Alice, we just heard the news from Frank. Congratulations! A little boy, you must be very happy. Our little one has been on the move constantly, I'm looking forward to when it's finally out of me. With any luck-" Lily froze from where she had been writing the letter, feeling a very peculiar sensation down the side of her leg.

A moment later, when her entire body tightened, she gasped. "JAMES!" She shrieked.

He came barreling into their bedroom, eyes wide, wand outstretched. "What!"

"My water just broke, I think I'm going into labor." Lily said frantically, hauling herself up out of bed, then falling back onto the mattress as she was hit with another contraction. "Ow. We've got to get to the hospital. They should have a room prepared for me."

"The Muggle hospital?" James said incredulously, grabbing the bag that Lily had packed a week ago with all the things she wanted to take. A few books, a blanket, a thermos of water, and a fresh change of clothes.

"Yes. No offense to St. Mungo's, but I just felt more comfortable – ow." She gasped. "Let's just go, please?"

He nodded, helping her down the stairs and out of the house, taking her by Side-along to the hospital where she had been getting her check-ups the last two months. As soon as they walked in, a nurse saw them and got a wheelchair immediately. Lily sat in it, taking gulping breaths of air, as James followed behind.

"Looks like the contractions are still pretty far apart." The nurse said a few minutes later, when Lily had been laid back in a cozy room in the maternity ward. "You just keep breathing, Mrs. Potter, I'll have the doctor come by as soon as he gets here. He was on call today, but I'm sure he'll rush right in."

Several hours later, Lily was still in the room, still breathing hard. James was holding her hand, but was considering letting go because she was currently crushing his fingers. Good thing it wasn't his writing hand.

"Lily, do you want more ice water?" He asked, wanting an excuse to leave for a moment and get the feeling back in his hand.

"No, I'm fine." She said. A moment later she gasped a bit, bending as another contraction came.

Finally, a doctor-looking type person appeared in the doorway. Or at least, it somewhat resembled the doctor from _Muggle Medicine: An Analysis_, from sixth year, or was it seventh year? Then again, that doctor had been wearing the big white coat with a bowtie, so it was possible that the book that Hogwarts used was a bit outdated.

"Alrighty, Mrs. Potter, let's take a look, now that you're all changed." He lifted the blanket, and James wrinkled his nose. "Mhm, dilated to about six centimeters. Sorry, looks like you'll be here for a while longer."

Lily groaned slightly. "There isn't anything you can do to speed up the process?"

"Afraid not. As soon as you're at ten centimeters we'll see about getting you that epidural. In the meantime just keep drinking lots of fluids, keep your breathing nice and steady, and don't hesitate to call the nurse in if anything changes." He tucked the sheet back down, smiling brightly at her. "I'll be back to check on you in another hour or two."

James sighed, and looked at Lily. "I'll go get you some more water."

As soon as she let go of his fingers, he sighed in relief, flexing them as he headed for the hospital cafeteria to get himself some tea and Lily another bottle of water.

[][][][][][]

It was a few minutes after midnight on July 31st that the doctor's finally handed over a whimpering, wriggling bundle to Lily. James, who had remained in the room through the screaming and the crying and the blood, sat next to her on the very edge of the bed and gazed down into his newborn son's face. Both parents were left alone, at least for a few minutes, until the baby had settled down against Lily's chest, and the nurse came back in.

"Alright, I'm going to take him just for a little while. We need to weigh and measure him. Have you guys decided on a name?"

"Well, we were going to name him after her father," James said, not looking away from the tiny pink face in the blankets even as the nurse took him, "but Harrison seems like an awfully big name for such a little guy."

"What if we just call him Harry? That's what my mum called my dad sometimes." Lily pointed out, smiling. "Harry James."

"Harry." James rolled the name around in his head a moment, then grinned. "I love it. Harry James Potter."

"Wonderful. Well, you two should get some rest, especially you, Mrs. Potter, it's been a long night. We'll clean little Harry up, make sure all his vitals are nice and healthy, and then bring him back in a couple hours so you can hold him a while longer." The nurse smiled brightly.

Lily yawned. "Sleep sounds lovely."

James leaned down to kiss his wife's sweaty forehead, slumping back down into the uncomfortable hospital chair and yawning as well.

"Oh, he's just so tiny, James." Lily whispered the next morning when Harry was returned to her after all his measurements and vitals were taken.

"I just can't get over how he got your eyes." James said just as quietly, touching Harry's cheek gently, causing the little squirming thing to look straight at him with huge, emerald green eyes. "He's gonna be quite the looker."

"Not if he got your hair." Lily said, smoothing down the few wisps of black hair sticking straight up. They stayed down for only a moment, before springing back in place.

"Sorry little fellow, it's the Potter curse." James apologized. "We'll get him a big bottle of Sleak-easy for his first birthday."

Lily laughed, which caused the newborn to turn his head and look directly at her. She'd never been so in love. She loved James, and loved him quite a bit, but this was an entirely new feeling for her. An all-encompassing, deep, unconditional love. Nothing that this child could ever do would make her stop loving him. She wanted to do anything and everything to keep him safe and loved. With the love came fear though, a reminder of the world that they were bringing little Harry into.

"Do you really think the Prophecy might be true?" She murmured.

James looked at her, and she could tell he had been thinking nearly the same thing. "There's no way of knowing. But... for now we don't know for sure that Voldemort knows about the Prophecy, nor about our kids."

"That's awfully optimistic for Mr. Paranoia." Lily pointed out, as Harry's eyes began to slip closed.

"Maybe I'd like to be a bit more optimistic. After all, this little one hardly looks like the savior of the world." James said with a smile.

[][][][][][]

"Lily, are you coming to bed?" James poked his head into the nursery.

Lily was standing over the crib. James walked in and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as he peered down into the crib as well.

"I just can't stop looking at him." Lily said with a sigh.

"Well the doctor said he'd sleep about twenty hours a day, and be crying the other four." James commented. "But, since he went to sleep three hours ago, that means we have at least three hours to get some sleep. Or not sleep at all."

Lily smirked at him, and they kissed silently, sneaking away back to their bedroom as Harry slept on.

[][][][][][]

"You can't buy a newborn baby a broom, Sirius." Remus said as Sirius looked at the toy catalog.

"What do you mean? He doesn't need to be able to walk to ride a broom."

"Honestly Sirius. Can't you just buy him some nappies or baby socks or something?"

"Nope. As his godfather it is my sole responsibility to be the bad influence in his life. I am going to take that role very seriously." Sirius flipped the page. "I shall introduce him to all the best music, give him toys that Lily would not approve of, and when he's old enough I'm going to take him out for his first cigar and a pint. I'm going to be the coolest godfather ever. Oh look, see this toy broom is specifically made for 'infants 6 months and up'."

"He's less than a week old." Remus pointed out.

"Well it's the youngest age range they have in the catalog. I think he'll be able to ride it fine in a couple months. It'll be the perfect first present after his baptism and after I'm made official godfather."

"Hmm. I still think Lily will hate it."

"Lily hates everything I do. She'll just have to get used to my awesome influence on her son's life. I'm sure he'd be a mummy's boy if she had her way."

"I dunno. I'd expect him to be just like James in most ways." Remus commented. "Apparently he's got the hair."

"Poor lad. Perhaps an industrial sized bottle of Sleak-easy would go over better then?"

"I don't think you're supposed to put product in a newborn's hair."

"Ah, dear Moony." Sirius patted Remus sympathetically on the hand, as though he were either an invalid or a very small child. "You are going to make this entire process absolutely difficult, aren't you?"

"Without a doubt." Remus said, an apologetic smile on his face.

"Well then you're lucky you're so damn good in bed." Sirius said, turning back to his catalog.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Alrighty, this is going to be a LONG a/n, so bear with me. As far as I can tell, we've got about 3-4 chapters left until the end, so I'd like to make a few announcements about projects that are going to follow 9 Years. Those of you that have been to my profile have probably read all this information already, so sorry for repeating it.

For those of you who are not looking forward to 9 Years being over, I think it's time that I announce a few things to you.

1.) 9 Years is going through an editing/correcting process, chapter by chapter. As I finish editing chapters they will be posted on my blog, every Tuesday and Thursday. If you have the inclination to go back and reread, with a few things changed up here and there (but the basic story, characters, and famous scenes intact!), feel free to visit my blog at www(DOT)caitlinvanmeter(DOT)com.

2.) I'm starting a project next that will be a COMPANION to 9 Years. If you've read 9 Years, great, this story will give you insight on certain events within my timeline that you might not have gotten before. If you've never read 9 Years, the story is still going to be a fun read, especially for anyone who is a Lily Evans/Potter fan. The story is going to be called "Dear Diary" and it is a series of excerpts from Lily Evans/Potter's diary starting in 1971 (her first year at Hogwarts) and going all the way up to about a year before her death. It is a great opportunity to not only see Lily's side of the story as the Marauder's tale unfolds, but also to see Lily's growth and change over time, as we watched the Marauders grow and change over time. **THIS WILL BE POSTED EXCLUSIVELY ON MY BLOG** www(DOT)caitlinvanmeter(DOT)com. You will NEVER see a post on for this story. The first diary excerpt will be going up Monday, August 30th, 2010, which means the first chapter is already up for viewing!

3.) If you are an Avatar: The Last Airbender fan (the series, not that monstrosity of a movie), I'm going to be starting a BRAND NEW multi-chapter story, called Avatar: Search for Ursa. Those who are familiar with the series might know that one of the biggest mysteries at the very end was that Zuko's mother Ursa was still alive, and he had a great desire to go find her. Set FIVE YEARS after the end of the war, Zuko takes a small sabbatical from being fire lord to go search for his mother. On the way he finds his friends, all of whom are working to restore the world after the great war. There will be Zuko/Mai, Katara/Aang, Suki/Sokka, and all the other pairings and people that you remember. Just like 9 Years, it will be a mostly canonical representation based on the ending of the series. It will be updated every Wednesday or so, starting the first Wednesday after 9 Years officially ends. It will be posted on ffnet AND on my blog, once again www(DOT)caitlinvanmeter(DOT)com.

4.) In case you haven't noticed, I have now mentioned my blog THREE TIMES. **www(DOT)caitlinvanmeter(DOT)com**. Four times. It is a writing blog, and I describe it as follows:

**_Do you like Harry Potter or Avatar: TLA fanfiction? Maybe original short stories on a variety of topics? What about blog posts about birds, llamas, plungers, and evil furbys? Well, have I got the blog for you._**

It's going to have most of my fanfictions, some original stories, and then funny life stories like the one time my dad got a plunger stuck on his head in the middle of Target, or the time I was attacked by a seagull at DisneyWorld. Please stop in, if only to read Dear Diary or the 9 Years remake. Also, SOME FUTURE ONESHOTS WILL BE HOSTED EXCLUSIVELY ON THE BLOG. So you could find a surprise!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _Here we are in the homestretch, and I'm still getting new readers every day! Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read and review. You made this project totally worth it.


	62. Chapter 62: Holidays with Harry

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: October-December, 1980. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"You'll never believe who's taking Slughorn's spot as Potions master." Remus said as he slumped into his usual seat on the couch, filling out another box in his crossword puzzle.

"Who, you?" Sirius asked, flipping a page in the Daily Prophet and raising an eyebrow.

"Merlin's beard, no." Remus shook his head immediately. "I'm dreadful at Potions. I always was."

"Shame that the first teaching position at that school to open up in forty years is for the only class you didn't get a N.E.W.T. in." Sirius smirked, and Remus punched him in the arm playfully.

"Sod off."

"So who was it then?"

"Snape."

Sirius immediately brought down the newspaper to look at Remus. There was a mixture of shock, anger, and even bewilderment on his face. "_Snivellus_? Snivellus got a job teaching? At Hogwarts? Around small children? Bloody hell, we all _know_ he's a Death Eater!"

"Remember what Dumbledore said about suspicions, Sirius."

"You and I both heard him in the bathroom with Mulciber and Avery, don't give me that load of manticore turds." Sirius hissed. "He attacked plenty of Muggle-borns in his heyday, you think he didn't leave school and join their side? He was a die-hard Slytherin, Remus."

"I _know_ that." Remus said defensively. "I'm not trying to say he's a good guy. Besides, I already talked to Dumbledore about it. He says that Snape was the most qualified applicant. Of course, there were only two applicants."

"Yeah, and you don't think that Voldemort got rid of the competition? He'd love to have one of his own in Hogwarts. Spying on Dumbles and the teachers, pounding all kinds of filth into kids' heads. It's complete horse bollocks."

"Yes well if Snape is there to spy on Dumbledore, Dumbledore can just as easily spy on Snape." Remus pointed out, gazing at the crossword. "The Cupid's kiss, a place on your face... oh, philtrum. Listen Sirius, I'm sure Dumbledore had his reasons for wanting Snape as Potions professor. And for all his child-hating, callousness, and general hatred of bathing..." He trailed off, tapping his philtrum with the pen as he thought. "... well no, I don't really understand why he's teaching there at all."

"See? Even you, with primitive Potions knowledge, should have that teaching position. I mean, you know words like phil-train."

"Phil_trum_. It's the divot in the upper lip." Remus smirked, leaning over and kissing Sirius just under the nose. "Right there."

Sirius smirked. "Know any other obscure body parts?"

"Hmm... there's the clavicle..." Remus popped a few buttons off Sirius' shirt and leaned in to kiss his collarbone.

"Oh, tell me more." Sirius said, the newspaper falling to the floor.

"The... canthus?" Remus kissed the outer corner of Sirius' eye, smirking.

"Anymore?" Sirius questioned, fluttering his eyelashes.

"Here's the glabella." Remus pressed his lips against the space in between Sirius' eyes and over his nose.

Sirius smirked. "You know, I think I like the philtrum best."

Remus grinned brightly, returning his lips to Sirius' upper lip, finally dropping his pen and crossword puzzle as Sirius pinned him to the couch.

[][][][][][]

"Oh, Alice, he's absolutely precious!" Lily said excitedly as her friend entered the door, the baby carrier tucked safely under one arm.

"I know. Kindest face. Frank called his eyes soulful." Alice tittered quietly as she set Neville in his carrier down on the sofa. "Thanks for inviting us over."

"Nonsense. It wouldn't be a proper Halloween for Harry if his friends weren't here." Lily joked. "I just know he and Neville will become best friends."

"Did you hear Fibeon's sister had one too recently? They'll all be in the same class at Hogwarts."

"Oh, here's to Order Gryffindors." Lily said happily, clapping her hands quietly together so as not to disturb Harry in his rocker and Neville in his carrier.

"And with any luck, a couple of fine-tuned Aurors as well." Alice added, and the two women laughed as they headed into the kitchen to gather up the treat and things.

"He kept Alice up 'til three in the morning yesterday." Frank commented lightly.

"That's nothing, Harry and Lily were awake until at least six am."

"Have you changed his naps yet?" Frank countered, popping a grape into his mouth. "Little Nev loses as much as he eats."

"I'm amazed Harry's not losing more." James grinned.

"Now now boys." Lily said happily as she brought out a tray of cupcakes colored with orange and black frosting, and small candied pumpkins on top that flickered as though they had tiny candied candles inside them. "Fatherhood is not a competition."

James and Frank looked sheepish, but the moment Lily headed for the kitchen they began murmuring in earnest once more, discussing whether Harry or Neville would begin to crawl first, who could hold their heads up first, etc.

[][][][][][]

"He's so tiny." Remus said, crouching in front of Harry, tilting his head to the side.

"He's a baby, I think they're supposed to be like that."

"Shush Sirius." He reached out a finger and wriggled it in front of Harry's face.

"He's new, you'll get over him after you've seen him a couple times."

"Children at this stage go through tremendous growth during the first six months of development. He'll probably be different every time we see him." Remus pointed out.  
"For Merlin's sake, Remus, did you read a book on early childhood development?"

"I was curious."

"Yeah well, sorry to bum you out, what with your biological clock ticking and all, but I don't think we're going to conceive any time soon." Sirius said, but not before glancing around to confirm that everyone else was in the kitchen.

"I don't want kids." Remus said with a soft smile as Harry reached up a hand toward Remus' hand, gurgling. "But you are the godfather, and that means I'll be around to watch him too. I just like to be informed on these things."

"Informed is like... asking Lily why his face still looks smushed. Weirdness is doing genuine research." Sirius said, glancing between Harry and Neville, raising an eyebrow.

Remus rolled his eyes, smiling at Harry. "He doesn't understand. He's a bit uneducated. Now uneducated means that he doesn't like to read. It's also called illiterate."

[][][][][][]

"Another party?" James complained as he pointed his wand at the ceiling. Red, green, and gold streamers leapt from the end of his wand and attached themselves to one wall, and he moved his hand along the wall of the living room, causing the streamers to all twirl together and loop themselves neatly. At the end of each loop a large bow of tinsel appeared.

"You're the one that got all excited about decorating."

"I am excited about decorating. Streamers and tinsel and trees are fun." James said happily, as his wand ended with a flourish over the doorway to the kitchen, and a piece of mistletoe hung on a green ribbon appeared. Lily of course, was just exiting the kitchen to talk to James, and turned a bit pink as she hit the bell attached to the mistletoe.

James hopped immediately to her side. "I thought we could spend the day walking in and out of the kitchen." He said cheerily, pecking her on the lips.

"Not with all the baking that's to be done for 12 people, one of them Hagrid." Lily pointed out, though she did look pleased as she entered the room. "It looks so nice I thought we could share."

"Much better than our dorm used to look after Peter and Remus got done decorating for parties." James commented, snickering.

"Speaking of, do Remus and Sirius seem different to you lately?" She said, reentering the kitchen, pausing for another kiss from James, and then flicking her wand. The spoon on the stove stirred the pot of stew, the oven door cracked open so that she could peek at the steak and kidney pie, and the fire under the potatoes turned down slightly so the water wouldn't boil over.

"Different?"

"More distant than usual."

"No, they seem the same." James said, though obviously uncomfortable with this line of questioning.

"I don't know, they just seem like things are a little tight. Like, they are still talking to each other like they always did, but there's... call it a woman's intuition, but things don't seem right."

"It will work itself out, I suppose." James said, trying to be nonchalant. Not that he didn't doubt her expert intuition. He just didn't like the topic at all.

Lily sensed his discomfort and stopped asking, though she flicked her wand a bit more thoughtfully as she finished up the preparations for the Christmas feast.

[][][][][][]

2 hours later the house was filled with noise. Over a dozen people laughing, talking and eating. Sirius, Frank, Kingsley and James singing Christmas carols. 2 babies alternating between laughing and crying. Lancelot meowing for scraps. And a partridge in a pear tree.

Lily found herself in an engaging conversation with Mabel and Constance about charm construction. When Harry was born, Lily had created several shield charms of her own making, to put over the nursery. She thought that if something was going to happen to the house or to them, that Harry's nursery should be the safest and most secure room in the house. Mabel had worked as a Charm Developer at the Ministry for many years, and they had a lengthy discussion of shielding techniques.

Frank and James ended up arguing about Quidditch, what else. Sirius and Kingsley further down the table were having a discussion of Muggle vehicles, cars, buses, and of course motorbikes.

At the end of the evening everyone was full, satisfied, and hopefully happier than when they arrived. Lily, James, and even little Harry were all at the door to tell everyone farewell, and then the house was empty.

Lily collapsed on the couch with Harry in her arms, and James flicked his wand at the dishes, sending them flying into the kitchen. "Well, that's the end of that."

Already half-asleep, Lily nodded. "I'd like to have an Easter get-together."

James sat down next to her on the couch, ruffling Harry's hair. "I doubt it, love. Dumbledore's getting worried about that prophecy. He thinks we should stay under the radar. Even if we're careful, big gatherings like this one are sure to attract attention."

"You're a spoilsport." Lily said sadly, though she knew James was right.

"Come on, time for presents." James said cheerily.

His wand summoned four large boxes from the other room. "One for you from me, one for you from Remus, one for Harry from me, and one for Harry from Sirius."

Lily looked at the box marked "From Sirius". "Why is that broom-shaped."

James blinked. "I... wasn't aware. It could be any number of things."

"Any number of things? Like what?"

"Well... a mobile on a really long pole. A pogo stick... um... that wouldn't be a good child's toy either..." James sighed and gave up.

Lily tore off the red and green wrapping paper, rolling her eyes. "It _is _a broom. James!"

"What? I love brooms. I'm sure Harry would love it too. If he was awake." James said, pointing to his son sleeping on the couch while Lily opened presents.

"He's six months old." Lily said severely.

"So we'll wait. Sirius is just doing what Sirius does." James put another box in front of Lily. "Open yours from Remus."

She did, and pulled out a large photo album. "It's empty."

"Well, his letter says it's for you to fill up. See look," James pointed at the cover of the photo album, where Remus had written in his delicate script "The Potter Family Album".

Lily smiled and nodded. "We'll fill it with pictures."

"He even sent a few in his letter. Oh, I don't even remember this one from our wedding." James said, sitting down next to her and looking at it.

She laughed, shaking her head and tucking it into the sleeve in the photo album. "I love it."

"Yeah, he made me look bad. All I got were some clothes for Harry... and this teeny little box for you..." James handed over the small rectangle, looking disappointed.

Lily opened it, and gasped. "James!" Inside the box was a gold chain with a golden Gryffindor lion charm on it. The eyes on the lion were rubies. "It's beautiful."

James clipped it around her neck. "Yeah, I guess I did alright."

She rolled her eyes. "Who did you get to help you pick it out? Alice or Remus?"

He blushed. "Alice."

She laughed, kissing him on the forehead. At the laugh Harry stirred, opening his eyes and immediately starting to fuss. "Oh, poor baby. Come on, we'll put you to bed." She picked up the infant and held him against her chest, humming to him softly.

[][][][][][]

"All around the cobbler's bench, the monkey chased the weasel," Lily spun in the air, holding Harry, who giggled freely, "The monkey thought t'was all in fun. Pop! Goes the weasel!" As she said "pop" she pressed her finger to the tip of Harry's nose, causing him to screw up his face in confusion and then laugh. She laughed as well, continuing her spinning. "A penny for a spool of thread, a penny for a needle, that's the way the money goes. Pop! Goes the weasel."

"More Muggle songs?" James said from the doorway, causing Lily to nearly fall over with dizziness when she stopped spinning to look at him.

"Those are the only ones I know." Lily pointed out rather accusingly, propping Harry up on her hip.

James smirked. "All around the fire seed bush, the doxy chased the kneazle, the kneazle turned and pounced him good, bop! Goes the kneazle!"

Lily gazed at him and raised an eyebrow. "That is identical to what I was singing."

"No it isn't. Yours is a Muggle song, mine is a wizarding one." James said matter-of-factly.

Lily glared, pursing her lips and turning back around. "Daddy's being a silly gnome. Let's get you in bed."

She laid him out in the crib, and smiled down at him, reaching down to pinch one big toe very gently with her fingers. "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy went home, this little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy had none." She smirked, squeezing his pinky toe. "And this little piggy went wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

Harry laughed hysterically as she tickled his stomach, and James came over to watch, one eyebrow raised. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Don't criticize my nursery rhymes, James. He's a half-blood so he'll learn them both." She bent all the way over the edge of the crib and kissed Harry's forehead, smirking as her son grabbed a fistful of her hair, gently prying it away from him as she pulled back and adjusted the bar of the crib so that Harry was safely secure inside.

James smiled. "You can tell him whatever rhymes you want, and sing him whatever songs you want." He kissed her temple and wrapped an arm around her waist. Lily reached up and tapped the charmed mobile which hung above Harry's bed. It was a series of dangling jungle animals, but all in strange colors, like a purple elephant, a green giraffe, and a blue lion. As it began to spin the soft notes of a lullaby played, and the two happy parents watched as Harry's eyes slowly began to close. Then they quietly sneaked out of his room, Lily leaving the door a bit open so she could hear him if he started crying.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Oh boy. Over a week since my last update. Sorry guys, a bunch of stuff has been happening. First the family all did a DIY bathroom renovation, which basically means I've been painting and laying tile while my sister whines and my father supervises. Then I had to take a day and plan the last four chapters of 9 Years out month by month so I could make sure not to miss anything. And I'm having a very hard time writing these bits of general Potter happiness, it's kind of depressing. As such, the final 4 chapters will be skipping over several large hunks of time.

Thank you for being patient, and I will do my best to bring you a speedy conclusion!

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _Thanks so much for sticking around this long!


	63. Chapter 63: Falling Apart

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: February-July 1981. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"How nice of you to... come and visit." Petunia said, taking a sip of her tea delicately.

Lily smiled happily. "Well, Harry is going to need to see his family sometime. And he and Dudley are only a month apart, it will be nice for them to play together."

Her sister had a distinct look of trepidation on her face as she gazed down at Harry, fussing in his carrier, and Dudley, chewing on a rubber ring in his bouncing chair. "Indeed."

"They don't look much the same, do they?" Lily laughed. "Both ended up looking like their fathers I suppose."

"I suppose." Petunia said calmly.

The two young women fell into an awkward silence. When Lily and James had shown up at the door of the small house where Petunia and her husband lived, Lily wasn't one hundred percent sure that Petunia was even going to let them in. But she had, and even made them tea and laid out biscuits.

"So, Vernon is nice. He seems... very fit." Lily acknowledged. "Does he play a sport?"

"Rugby at university." Petunia said, a bit proudly. "He was one of the best players on his team."

Lily said nothing, knowing that Vernon's fitness was likely going to turn to fat in the next ten years. Or at least she hoped so. "I guess we both chose athletes."

Petunia raised an eyebrow. "What... 'sport', did James play?"

A small blush appeared on her cheeks. "Er... Quidditch... it's a game played on broomstick-"

"I see." Petunia said curtly, cutting Lily off from actually explaining the game. Lily shrank back down a bit in her seat, sipping her tea as they fell once again into silence.

[][][][][][]

"So... you work?" James said hesitantly.

"An entry level position at a drill manufacturer. I've got a good chance of moving up though. Everyone says I'm good management material." Vernon boasted proudly. He grinned and nodded to James. "And er... what do you do?"

"I'm working for the Order at the moment. But I'm looking to accept a contract to play for Scotland here in a few."

"Football eh? You look like the type. The skinny legs." Vernon punched James in the arm playfully, letting out a roar of laughter. James wasn't entirely sure that he would ever regain feeling in his fingers again.

"No actually, I play Quidditch." James said proudly.

"You play what?" Vernon stared. "What the bloody hell is Qui... whatever you just said?"

"It's a wizarding sport. Played on brooms." James smirked. "We fly."

Vernon stared at him. Petunia had already explained everything to both her husband and to the Potters, and according to her Vernon had believed that his wife's sister was a witch and her husband a wizard, and what that meant. However, every conversation he had with the man left James feeling more and more like Vernon either didn't believe him, or thought he had some kind of head trauma. With the number of times that Vernon punched him, pushed him, or clapped him on the back, James wouldn't be surprised if his brains started oozing out his ears at any moment.

This guy was the kind of guy that Sirius and he would have had a field day with only a year or so ago. Now that they were related though, he didn't think that Lily would appreciate it.

"Er so... what do you do at this... 'Order' place." Vernon finally mumbled, clearly not wanting to continue the conversation, and desperate to find some way out. His eyes kept flickering to the kitchen as though Petunia would call for him and rescue him from the sitting room.

"It's a bit like law enforcement." James said lightly, not wanting to go into detail. "But for the private sector."

"Oh, so private security. Bodyguards and things like that." Vernon now at least looked as though he was much calmer about this topic of conversation. "I suppose even er... _wizards_ need outside protection sometimes."

"Kind of." James allowed, trying to think how he could explain it. After racking his brain for a few minutes, he shook his head. Better just to let Vernon think what he wanted.

From the kitchen they heard a wail. James jumped, looking over at the doorway. Vernon grinned. "That's Dudley."

James blinked. "He's... certainly got a powerful set of lungs."

Vernon grinned as though James had just given him the compliment of a lifetime. "Aye, he's a strong little one. Tore out a hunk of my hair within the first week we got him home. Had a grip like a wrestler."

"Er... yes. I'm sure he'll be a brute." Vernon continued to grin, until a high-pitched cry came up. James heaved himself up out of the chair. "That'll be Harry. I'll go help Lily."

Vernon looked at him in confusion. "Why?"

"Because... he's my son?" James answered, looking back at Vernon with just as much confusion.

The large man shrugged his shoulders, and James walked into the kitchen. Petunia was on her knees in front of the bouncy chair, cooing at Dudley. "What is it Duddy-kins? What can Mummy do? Are you hungry? Do you want some formula?"

Lily on the other hand, had scooped Harry out of his carrier, and was gently bouncing him on her knee. "There there, it's alright Harry, just your cousin crying. Nothing to be afraid of." She pulled out her wand. "_Lumos_."

A gentle blue light appeared on the end of her wand, softer than the normal lighting spell. Harry immediately fixated on it, only sniffling and fussing. Lily waved the wand in front of his face and he chortled, trying to grab it with his little hands. "There you are, Harry. Play with the light."

Dudley apparently saw the light over Petunia's shoulder, and he stopped his crying instantly, staring at the wand as Lily made it go in circles above Harry's head. Petunia turned her head to see what Dudley was looking at, and let out a shriek.

"Absolutely not! I will not have it in my house!" She screamed, pointing at the wand.

"Petun-" Lily said, the wandlight going out as she stared at her sister.

"No! What you do in your house is your own business but not in my home! Never in my home!" Petunia shouted.

The screaming, coupled with the light going out, made Dudley let out another powerful wail. And that noise caused Harry – who had started to calm down – to start crying and fussing all over again.

James moved forward. "Don't you yell at her!"

Petunia turned, pointing a long finger at him with fury in her eyes. "I refuse to have any of... of _that_ in my house!"

Vernon finally appeared, since Dudley had not stopped crying, and the kitchen was now a hubbub, with both infants screaming, James and Petunia shouting, and Lily frantically trying to get a word in edgewise with Petunia at the same time that she was soothing Harry. James glared at Petunia, planting his feet firmly.

"She's not doing anything wrong. She's taking care of Harry. You could take a lesson or two from her!"

"How dare you!" Petunia shrieked.

"Potter, you haven't any right-" Vernon bellowed, and James whipped around.

"Shut up! If you don't bother spending one iota of energy on actually caring for your son, you don't get a say in what I think of Petunia's parenting skills. Or lack thereof." James said haughtily.

Vernon growled like some kind of deranged bear, and raised a hand, fist curled and ready to strike. James acted upon instinct, a year of fighting battles making him move without him really realizing he was doing it.

"_Locomotor Mortis_!" He hissed.

The other man's legs snapped together with an audible noise, and Vernon collapsed backwards. Petunia screamed even more loudly, before clapping her hands over her mouth. Vernon roared in anger, grabbing at his useless legs.

"You've paralyzed me! You've paralyzed me!"

"Stop it!" Petunia shouted, falling on her knees next to her husband and also trying to pry his legs apart. "How dare you!"

Lily pointed her wand at them calmly, muttering the anti-jinx. Vernon's legs went slack, and he scrambled to his feet. Petunia was in tears now, but angry ones. She pointed at the door.

"Get out!"

Lily packed Harry in his carrier, and James hovered, torn between letting out an apology and leaving both of them on the floor in a Body-Bind. She grabbed his arm and dragged him out, and down to the end of the block. James looked around at the rows of identical houses, with identical lawns and identical bushes.

"What a horrible place." He said quietly, his eyes flickering to the street sign that said 'Privet Drive'.

Harry fussed, and James fished around in his pockets for a moment, finally extracting his pacifier. "Blimey, I knew I had it somewhere. I was trying to give it to you." He popped it into Harry's mouth, and the boy instantly fell still, his eyes slipping closed as he sucked on the pacifier. James looked at Lily, who was staring up into the cloudy sky. "Lils... I'm really sorry. You know I didn't mean to. I just... I just reacted."

"I know." Lily said sadly, lowering her gaze. There were tears hanging in the corners of her eyes, but she wasn't openly crying. "I kept thinking that if I just kept at it, she'd eventually accept me again. But I don't think she's ever forgiven me for Mum and Dad."

"That wasn't your fault." James said instantly.

She nodded. "I know that. But that's not what Petunia thinks. And I can't really blame her. All magic has ever done for her was isolate her from our parents, make her the odd one out, and then to boot it killed our family. She picked the most boring, normal, Muggle husband she could. Once she realized she couldn't ever have magic in her life, she decided to push herself as far away from it as possible."

James sighed, squeezing Lily's shoulder. "I'm sorry. Really. We'll send them an apology letter and some perfectly normal Muggle flowers."

Lily smiled, kissing his cheek. "Let's just get out of here. You're right, this is a horrid place."

[][][][][][]

"I think I should move out." Remus said. The words that he had been fighting with for the past month slipped from his mouth surprisingly easy. And the moment they left the air in the apartment seemed to stiffen and become chilled, like a Dementor entering the room.

Sirius finished chewing his mouthful of noodles with an expert calm. It was almost like he hadn't heard what Remus said at all. Remus waited, his fork stuck into his take-away carton.

"Whatever." The other man finally said. Remus felt the floor fall out from under him. Everything he had been torn about, all the nightly arguments with himself, all the times he had scolded himself for the things he had said, and it was dismissed with a single word.

"That's all you have to say. Sirius, do you understand what I just said?" Remus demanded.

Sirius looked at him, his eyes surprisingly dark, and rolled his eyes. "Yes, Remus. I'm not as dull and incompetent as you seem to think I am. If you wanna move out, whatever. I can't stop you. You're a full-grown adult."

"Oh, so you _want_ me to move out." Remus said. Despite the fact that he had started this conversation, he now felt very hurt that Sirius wasn't even going to protest.

"To be perfect honest, I could give a shit less if you stay or go. It's not like the past few weeks have been sunshine and butterflies." Sirius stood, throwing his half-empty carton of food away. That was a danger sign, Sirius never stopped eating until the food was gone.

"Right, so everything falling apart is my fault?"

"I didn't fucking say that. But yeah, if we're gonna start laying blame, why don't we start with you abandoning everyone for six months!" Sirius snapped.

"Abandoning you? _Abandoning_ you?" Remus' voice was getting higher pitched in his rage and he didn't like it, but he had a hard time controlling himself while his anger was getting the better of him. "I was on a fucking Order mission!"

"You could have said no! You could have stayed!" Sirius shouted, his hair flying as he moved erratically through the apartment in his anger.

"Dumbledore himself said that the cause and the Order comes first. Before romance, before everything!"

"Well thank Merlin we don't have any romance anymore." Sirius said, his voice lowering.

"Oh, is this the part of the fight where you tell me that you didn't even like the sex anyway, and that it didn't mean anything? Because that's bullshit and you know it."

"Shut up. I'm not saying anything. I'm not fighting with you like you want me too. Obviously that's the only reason you brought this up. I'm not playing your stupid emotional games."

"If you fucking cared you'd stop me." Remus hissed.

"I guess I don't care." Sirius said darkly, looking away from Remus.

And that was that. Remus tried to think of something else, but nothing came to mind. Other than punching Sirius very hard or throwing something at him. And that would solve nothing. So he returned to the bedroom, grabbing his bag and shoving everything from his two drawers of clothes and his half of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom into the bag. It all fit easily, along with the four or five books sitting on his nightstand. He'd have to get the rest of his stuff later.

Sirius was gone when he left, his coat off the hook. Remus slipped into his jacket and zipped it up, and went out into the March chill. Somehow the biting wind and icy rain beating down on his head was a welcome relief to the heat of what had just been exchanged.

Four years. Four years since Remus had been a scared young man at his mother's funeral, and Sirius had finally cracked something he hadn't known existed.

Four years disintegrated in a few minutes.

No, that was a lie. Things had been falling apart for months now. Really, things hadn't been the same since Remus had returned last year. He had thought if he just gave it some time. If he just let Sirius get over his little problems.

But no. They were over. Remus couldn't even say for sure that he still loved Sirius. At least, not like they had. He cared about him. But it felt more like mates than lovers now. And to top it off, Remus had this dreadful feeling that he had been shacking up with Voldemort's spy. He didn't trust Sirius. Not to mention he had a good feeling that Sirius didn't trust him either.

"Right. It's not the end of the world." Remus said to himself quietly. "But let's see if it really is possible for a werewolf to get drunk. Really, really, stinking, blinding drunk."

[][][][][][]

"Hey, where's Remus? I think this bowl is becoming sentient." James said, peering at the sink.

"Dunno." Sirius said lightly from his position on the couch. He looked almost forlorn. James turned back, looking at him slowly.

"What?" James asked flatly. "No really. Where is he?"

"I, do not, know." Sirius repeated more slowly, flopping his arm over the edge of the couch and peering at James through narrowed vision.

"... did he move out or something?" James said jokingly.

"Yep." Sirius said calmly, rolling back over and staring at the ceiling.

"Well where is he living now?"

"So when is Lily going to let Harry ride the broom I got him back at Christmas?"

"He's barely over six months. He hasn't even started standing upright yet."

"Pssht. You don't need to stand upright to operate a broom. Remember that one time at the Leaky Cauldron?"

"You changed the subject." James said calmly, sitting on the counter top and staring at Sirius.

"What subject?" Sirius said innocently.

"Where did Remus go?"

"Ah, that. I'm not really sure. I'm sure he's sent Lily a letter, why don't you ask her?" Sirius grumbled.

James stared. "You're a retard sometimes."

With that he stood and was gone, and Sirius curled up a bit on the sofa to stare at the ground.

[][][][][][]

"_Remus. We haven't heard from you in a month, please respond back and let us know you're okay. I'm worried_."

"Now here's the conundrum Moony." Remus mumbled, staring at his reflection in the bottle of firewhiskey in his hand. "Is this an alcohol-induced hallucination, or is Lily's Patronus truly standing in front of me?"

"Then again, you've been talking to yourself for three weeks now." He added, and tilted the bottle up, pouring the last of the bottle down his throat.

He barely felt the burn anymore. Back in seventh year he remembered his very first drink of firewhiskey. Sirius had gotten some from the Three Broomsticks. It was one of those times they had snuck away from James and Peter to be "alone". Remus had hated it. The firewhiskey, not the being alone.

After three swallows and fifteen minutes Sirius had been fawning over his hair, calling it "floofy". Remus had had five small drinks before the very tips of his fingers had become tingly. His abilities had been scoffed by Sirius at first, but then after Sirius spent an hour throwing up and then woke up the next morning with a hangover, the dark-haired man had expressed jealousy.

"Also, the sex was pretty lousy that night." Remus muttered to himself. He set the empty bottle down. It was at the very end of a row of six other empty firewhiskey bottles. Turns out at least two bottles were needed before he felt similar to the way Sirius had described.

But no number of bottles could make him stop thinking about Sirius, or James, or Hogwarts, or what it had felt like to be happy.

"God you're depressing." He mumbled. He dragged the book he had been reading closer. "'As he, defeated, dying, On whose forbidden ear. The distant strains of triumph Break, agonized and clear.'"

"Emily Dickinson and a bottle of booze. You really _are_ depressing." He found himself saying.

"Nah, that's the liquor talking. Emily Dickinson is just what you need."

"You need to stop talking to yourself."

"You should keep reading then."

He sighed, turning the page. No matter how much firewhiskey he drank, reading was never a problem, and in fact it seemed to soothe the remnants of ache that the alcohol left behind. "'If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain'..."

"You're getting tears on the page again, 'Moonpie'."

"Damn it, this is a library book."

"'A Poor torn heart, a tattered heart, That sat it down to rest, Nor noticed that the ebbing day Flowed silver to the west, Nor noticed night did soft descend, Nor constellation burn, Intent upon the vision Of latitudes unknown'..."

"Bugger this. Poetry is depressing. You should get more whiskey." He said quietly to himself. He fished around in his pocket for a moment, dragging out four Knuts. "That is not going to pay for another bottle of firewhiskey. Let alone rent next week."

He was feeling far too sober. He stood, setting Emily Dickinson on the table and getting up. He moved around the tiny one-room, run-down piece of shit that he had been calling home for the last month. He bent down, near a pile of very delicately stacked empty bottles of firewhiskey.

"Empty. Empty. This one has a few drops left." He tilted it as far back as he could, letting the tiny amount slip past his lips. Then he started rifling once more. "Empty. Empty. Aha!"

He pulled up a bottle that was nearly half-full. "That'll do for a little bit."

He sat back down in his chair, and pulled the book closer, taking a swig. "And there we go back to the Dickenson."

"You are truly pathetic, Moony."

[][][][][][]

"I'm getting tired of decorating." James teased.

"Oh, but it's his first birthday. And it's going to be family only!" Lily said happily, as she poked her head into the oven to see how the cake was coming along. "Just the Longbottoms and Sirius and Remus and Peter."

"Remus?"

"I wrote him a letter to invite him." She looked saddened as she entered the room. "I'm not sure if he'll really come. When he started writing me letters he seemed a little... out of it. But he has sent me a letter just about every week."

"Don't get me started about that again."

"You haven't been able to get Sirius to talk at all?"

"No. He won't even talk about Remus." James shook his head.  
"It's not fair you know. Remus feels he has to be the one to leave. After all, you and Sirius are such best friends, he doesn't want to risk your friendship by involving himself with us. He's forced himself to stay away."

"I don't mind if Remus comes. I want him to. I haven't seen him in months. He and Sirius... well he moved out in March and here it is July and I haven't even seen him once."

"Alright! Now the party can start!" Sirius walked in the door, grinning brightly and plopping a few bottles of firewhiskey on the counter.

"This is _Harry's_ birthday, Sirius." Lily said, snatching the bottles away.

"Well I'm not saying give _him_ the whiskey." Sirius said, taking back one bottle and popping it open. "But I think his birthday should be celebrated! It's worth something. 'Specially since his father's nearly escaped death at least three times this year."

James laughed and took the bottle from Sirius. "Sounds like a thing to drink to."

Lily glared at her husband as he took a swig. "Watch it Mister. You're on Harry-watch duty tonight, and I don't care how shit-faced you are."

James sighed and looked at the bottle longingly. "Ah, not even the father gets to drink when there's a baby around."

"Lily, you are a funsucker." Sirius said, though the phrase made him stop short. It was an oft-used phrase around Remus, and it seemed to make him suddenly embittered.

"Is it safe to come in?"

"Remus!" Lily said excitedly, running over and giving him a hug. "Oh, it's been _ages_! We've missed you!"

He hugged her back a bit awkwardly. James looked a bit startled to see him. He was thin, and pale. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he generally looked quite depressed.

"Come into the kitchen, I'll make you some tea. We're still waiting on Frank and Alice and little Neville anyway."

"Ah, sure, I'd love some." Remus said, his voice a little hoarse.

Sirius watched Remus go into the kitchen with Lily with a blank expression on his face. James noticed, and handed him the bottle.

"Don't get too juiced up, okay?" James said with a smile. Sirius looked at him and grimaced, and took a big swallow.

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: ALRIGHT. Before I get ten thousand reviews that say _OMG WHY DID YOU BREAK UP REMUS AND SIRIUS YOU ARE TERRIBLE I HATE YOOOOOOU_, let me explain.

Basically, there were a few holes at the end of the story that just don't make sense to me. First of all, why wasn't Remus at the house that night? Why didn't he go with Sirius or with Hagrid or anything else? Why didn't he show up that night, when the Potters died? And the only logical explanation to me was that he was avoiding the Potters completely, and avoiding Sirius. I think that Remus would indeed alienate himself from James and from Sirius if something happened between them. I think it's important to note that Sirius and James are truly best of friends, and that even though Remus was close to them as well, I think that Remus would not want to come between their friendship.

Also, in regards to the depressingness of the first part, I thought it would make more sense for Vernon to be so pissed off and scared of magic if something actually happened to him. Plus I find both of them to be deplorable parents and thought I would write about that.

Gosh, this chapter is again just as depressing. Apologies folks. Only two more chapters to go.

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _I love you guys, really i do. Every review is like a little burst of happiness in my inbox!


	64. Chapter 64: The Final Days

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: October 1981. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"Wha- Harry?" James said blindly, stumbling from his bed as a great thundering sound came from downstairs.

"Bloody hell, it's three in the morning, what is going on!" Lily groaned as she glanced at the clock.

"Someone's at the door." James grabbed his wand from the nightstand and holding it awkwardly as he yanked up his pants and a pair of shoes.

Lily was up instantly as well, dragging a robe around her as she gripped her wand. As he ran down the stairs she hurried into the nursery to check on Harry. James ran down the stairs at full speed, his brain racking for the best jinx he could come up with for whoever was smashing down his door.

When he dragged it open, his wand jabbed directly into Dumbledore's fluffy white beard. He froze, staring at the elder wizard. "Name." He finally shot out curtly.

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore." He said calmly. "Your Patronus is a stag, you played Chaser at Hogwarts."

James stepped back, but kept his wand up. "What the devil are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?"

"Quite late, I know. I'm sorry to disturb you but this is a visit of utmost importance. There has been a serious breach in security. One of Voldemort's inner circle has defected to our side on this night, and revealed to me information that must be told at once."

James looked back over his shoulder. Lily was holding Harry in her arms, he was fussing and whining from all the noise downstairs. She took one look at James and Dumbledore and walked into the kitchen. A few seconds later the teapot was whistling and Lily reappeared, her wand held crooked as she hovered a tray with the tea, three cups, and lemon and sugar out onto the living room ottoman.

Dumbledore took the tea, nodding gratefully. Lily kept Harry in her lap, bouncing him a bit to calm him down, and soon he was curled up against her stomach and sleeping again with his pacifier in his mouth.

"Tonight one of Voldemort's inner circle approached me, and informed me that he was willing to give me information in exchange for my protection against the Dark Lord." Dumbledore said calmly.

"Like what? Are you serious? You should send him to Azkaban anyway. They can get plenty of truth out of him with some veritaserum down his throat!" James said curtly.

"This is a special case. I'll be handling it myself. I cannot reveal his identity. He has agreed to join our side yet remain a spy to Lord Voldemort. He is incredibly close to Voldemort himself. The advantage of having him on our side is very great."

"That's all well and good," Lily said, taking a sip of her tea and biting back a yawn, "but why did we need to know this now?"

"Voldemort knows about the Prophecy." Dumbledore said calmly. "And what's more, he knows the people that it applies to."

Lily and James froze, looking at each other and then at Harry. Lily clutched him a bit closer to her chest, stroking his dark hair as he stirred a bit in his sleep. "What do you mean?"

"He's decided to come after Harry." His voice was significantly less calm. "He wants you."

Lily let out a loud gasp, and Harry woke up this time. He immediately began to bawl, and Dumbledore waited patiently until Lily had calmed him down and he was at least half-asleep on her thighs.

"We need to get you into hiding as soon as possible." Dumbledore said.

"How, we've gotten every kind of protection around the house. Anti-Apparition, every dark repelling charm we know, and Harry's room, it has so many protection spells I can barely walk in the door without feeling like a ten ton waterfall is falling on me." James said sternly. "Hell, we've both put our heads together and invented about ten different spells against those with ill will towards the house's occupants."

"There's only one thing that will save you now." The older wizard said, his tone strangely calm. "You must put a Fidelius Charm over the whole house, and your location. It is the only way that no one can tell them where you live, and you'll be safe."

James and Lily both fell silent. Dumbledore smiled. "I, of course, offer myself as your Secret-Keeper."

"We'll have to talk about this. There are other options. We could leave the country..."

"I'm not leaving." Lily said, her cheeks flushing. "We could be perfectly safe under a Fidelius Charm, James. And I won't leave my home from fear."

"You should probably go talk to the Longbottoms." James said to Dumbledore. "Even if they aren't the targets they could be hurt or killed to try and get to us."

"Agreed. All Order members who are close to you will be warned. I'm sure you'll take care of telling Sirius and Remus." Dumbledore stood, and pulled his cloak around his shoulders, leaving three Potters on the couch, two confused and scared, and the third cranky.

[][][][][][]

"You want me to what?" Sirius said, crossing his legs and looking at James curiously.

"I need you to be Secret-Keeper. For me, for Lily, for the house, and especially for Harry. We're in serious danger."

"Serious?" He said, always finding it weird to say his own name. "I don't understand."

"It's hard to tell you. In fact, I don't think it's wise to tell you. But... you're the only one I trust to keep me and Lily and Harry safe." James clapped his hand on Sirius' shoulder and gripped it tightly.

Sirius said nothing. He knew it was only natural for James to pick him first to be his Secret-Keeper. Frankly, Sirius was surprised that Dumbledore or Frank or Moody weren't chosen instead. That James still trusted him after everything made him think about Remus for a moment, and how neither of them trusted each other. And the earnest look on James face almost made him feel ashamed.

"So, will you do it?" James said pleadingly.

"Well I can't very well say no, can I?" Sirius smirked, but then it faded as an idea formed. "Although..."

James sat up. "Although?"

"Although who's the first person the spy will assumed you chose as Secret-Keeper?"

"Dumbledore?"

"No no, you and he had a huge fight, remember? The person who is the spy will know that you'd have chosen someone you trusted the best."

"Right. You."

"Yeah well if I am the Secret-Keeper and they torture me, you guys won't know until _he_ comes knocking down your door." Sirius said.

James frowned as he considered this. "Well what do you think we should do then?"

"Pick someone else. Someone they'd never suspect that you trusted to be Secret-Keeper. If I go missing then you'll know beforehand, you'll be able to go into even deeper hiding out of the country or something."

"Sirius, you want to use yourself as bait?" James said, clearly appalled.

"I'm not good for much else." Sirius said dryly, though the smirk was on his face. "It's not bait. More like a diversion. Remember how we used to do it in school? I'd be the one in McWhiskers' office while you planted the dungbombs."

"This is a lot different than a scolding and dungbombs, Sirius." James hissed, displeased. "The second they find out you're not the Secret-Keeper they'll kill you."

"Yeah but with any luck I'll be able to take a few of them with me. Stop worrying. This is a good plan and you know it. It'll keep you and Lily and Harry safe. Why just depend upon a Fidelius Charm when you have a Fidelius and a back-up?"

James sat in silence for a moment. But Sirius knew he was right. This was a good plan. Finally James grimaced and nodded. "All right. But who's the lucky Secret-Keeper then? Should we pull it out of a hat?"

"No, it should still be someone you trust." Sirius said with a roll of his eyes. James' problem was that he trusted everyone. "Frank maybe."

"No, he's a target too. What about Remus?"

Sirius frowned. "I don't think so. He's sort of vanished anyway. Better to have someone we see pretty often."

"Like who, Peter?" James snorted, rolling his eyes. Sirius paused. James gaped. "Merlin's pants, you actually think Peter is a good idea?"

"Well hang on before you shoot it down. Let's think about it. First of all we see Peter almost every day for tea or whatever. Especially you, he visits you all the time, or at least Floos. He's fairly trustworthy. And no Death Eater that knew us at Hogwarts would ever suspect for a second that we'd choose Peter Pettigrew as your Secret-Keeper. When they go after me, you'll have time to warn Peter and all of you can go into hiding."

Another long silence from James, this time with narrowed eyes and his arms crossed over his chest. Clearly he was thinking over the idea, and it didn't sound too bad or else he would have rejected it straight off. Eventually he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face.

"Great," said Sirius, knowing that was the sign that James had agreed to the idea but didn't like it enough to openly say yes. "We'll have Peter come right away. We'll get this Fidelius Charm out of the way."

"Alright. You stand witness."

"I figured you'd want Dumbledore to do that."

"There really isn't enough time to summon Dumbledore. We don't know how long we have. We'll just leave him thinking that you're Secret-Keeper. The fewer people that know about the switcheroo the better."

"You're starting to sound like such an old foagie." Sirius said, getting up and stretching. "What is the charm going to cover?"

James stretched out a hand and counted on his fingers. "The location of the house. Lily is also going to add a few protections to make it Unplottable. Our identities. Harry's identity most of all. And our affiliation with the Order. Better to separate ourselves from it a bit, at least until we think we might be safe again."

Sirius nodded. "Don't rule out leaving the country for a little while. A bit of Transfiguration, a bit of Polyjuice, you can be living in France for the next few months as the Elvendork family."

"_Ha_. No, Lily is refusing to leave. Not unless we have to. Apparently we don't have to just yet." James sighed quietly as if to say "Women."

"I'd call a full-scale Fidelius to be a 'have to' situation, but what do I know." Sirius held his hands out as if to indicate helplessness, and motioned with his head to the fireplace. "Let's get this thing over with."

[][][][][][]

"So... what have you been up to?"

"Nothing."

Well, that attempt to diffuse the awkward situation totally failed. Remus loaded another book into the box and sighed. Sirius remained standing in the doorway, a surly expression on his face. Remus pulled out his volume of Agatha Christie short stories and gazed at the cover.

"You don't have to move out."

This was the longest string of words that had come out of Sirius' mouth since Remus had arrived 45 minutes ago to gather up the rest of his stuff from their – no, _Sirius_' – apartment. He sighed again.

"I can't stay."

"You have no job, no money..."

"Dad left me a bit when he died. I'd been saving it for something, but I can live on it a short while until I get a new job." Remus said calmly. He had rehearsed this. He knew that Sirius would feel obligated to help him out.

Sirius turned his head to the side. Remus picked up _The Count of Monte Cristo_ and examined the rest of the bookshelf. Nothing but a couple of motorbike and automobile books, 2 broom catalogs, and the bikini edition of _Wizards' Illustrated_. All definitely Sirius'.

He closed the box and tapped it with his wand. The edges of the cardboard sealed together and he stacked it on the other two boxes, one with his clothes and another with his trinkets, photos and various odds and ends.

"Besides, the house is going up for sale in a week or so. I'll have a good amount of money for a while." He reasoned, simply to fill the silence.

"You're still my second best friend." Sirius said, his tone so abrupt he took Remus by surprise.

After a moment, Remus smiled. "Yeah."

"James is only my best best friend because he made me godfather of his kid and that's apparently a big deal."

Remus laughed softly. He wasn't sure if it was because of what Sirius said, or if it was because he was relieved. Maybe a little of both.

"Yeah." He said again. For the first time in a long time he felt almost happy. _Damn you, Sirius Black._ But hey, it was a start. And it would give him a damn good excuse not to open up Dickinson tonight.

[][][][][][]

Secret-Keeper. He was a Secret-Keeper. His heart felt as though it was going to explode.

James has trusted him. James cared about him. More than Sirius Black, his best friend in the whole wide world.

_"Pete. I'm trusting you with my family. Do you understand? My family is everything to me, Peter. If anything happened to Lily or Harry I don't know what I would do. I love them. Peter, can I trust you to keep them safe?"_

Oh James. Guilt suddenly hit him full-force. Heart-wrenching. For over a year he had believed that James didn't give two shits about him. He had allowed himself to be tricked; first by Adrian and then by Voldemort.

Could he called it trickery? Certainly Adrian had pulled the wool over his eyes, made him give up information with a few drinks and the promise of friendship. But then came the Dark Lord.

Despite the fear, there was something about Voldemort. When he was kind to Peter he made the blond feel important. Like Peter was a crucial member of the Death Eaters. The wizard could be charming. He praised Peter, and promised great rewards for the younger man's loyalty.

But now he knew that his friends hadn't abandoned him. He knew that James thought he was important. It shamed Peter.

Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe he could go to Dumbledore. Yes, Dumbledore. The old wizard would understand. He would forgive Peter. He would protect Peter from Voldemort's wrath. James and Lily and Harry would all be safe again.

He stared at his arm, where the Dark Mark was hiding under the sleeve of his rob. He could almost feel the skull looking at him. Thoughts came into his head, unbidden.

_Dumbledore will hate you._

_ You're responsible for so many deaths._

_ Dumbledore will kill you._

_ James will hate you. He'll change his mind._

_ Why did James pick you anyway?_

_ You stupid, clumsy, useless boy._

_ He probably figures that Voldemort would never come after a weakling like you._

_ He probably thinks you're so stupid Voldemort wouldn't waste his time._

_ Stupid._

_ He doesn't trust you._

_ Not you._

_ Dumbledore is probably using you for bait._

_ That's it. They want Voldemort to kill you so they can find him._

_ Waste of space. _

_ Why did you ever believe they would trust you._

_ You're just a rat._

[][][][][][]_  
_

"She'll be safe?"

"We've done everything we can, Severus."

Now just waiting. He hated waiting.

Severus Snape had been waiting since the day he was born. First he waited for magic. Then he waited for Hogwarts. Then he waited to for every second of time with Lily. Then he waited for her to love him back.

And then he waited – for a short while – for James to get killed. He didn't care who did it really. He knew she would never be his now. But he could still hope for her safety.

_"For you, Snape, I'll try and leave the Muggle girl alive."_

Chances were slim. Voldemort killed everyone against him. He had no shame or guilt about killing. No, Severus had to place his trust in Dumbledore. That old git.

Was he really so in love that he would give up his only dream? The Dark Arts meant so much to him. But Lily still meant more. So yes, apparently he _would_ give it all up.

He looked at a faded and much-loved photograph tucked in the far corner of his desk drawer. A young girl was holding her hands in front of her, while a daisy floated above her palms, the flower spinning in mid-air.

The photo was black and white but his memories supplied the rest. Bright red braids with blue ribbon tying off the ends. Emerald green, almond-shaped eyes. A turquoise sun-dress with many grass stains.

Holding it so tightly had crumpled the edges. He smoothed them out very carefully on the desk before tucking it away from possible prying eyes.

[][][][][][]

"I'm just gonna run down to the store and grab some milk." James said, grabbing his coat.

"No, you're not." Lily said sharply.

He stared at the door and let out an exasperated sigh. "No... I'm not."

She smiled. "We'll wait until Sirius comes by. Make a list."

"But I need the milk now for the cheese sauce." He complained.

Lily looked at him in annoyance. "I told you that you needed to figure out meals for a few days in advance and we could budget accordingly."

"I'm sorry, I forgot." His sorry was about as unapologetic as they came, and Lily scowled.

He winced a bit and glanced at the stairs. "What if I wore my Invisibility Cloak? Just leave the money on the counter and Apparate back onto the doorstep."

She looked nervously at the stove. "You need the milk that badly?"

"It's your _favorite_ cheese sauce." He said pleadingly.

"Well... alright then."

He kissed her cheek. "I'll be careful. Back in a few."

He dug the Cloak out from his trunk in the back of the closet. He hadn't even thought about it in months. After so many years it was still in perfect condition. Remus had never been able to believe that the cloak was passed down to James from his father. It looked brand new.

When he got back from the store, deftly Apparating right on the front stoop, Lily looked up at him with her "thinking look". Whenever she got that face, it meant bad news for James.

"James."

He waited with bated breath for her to finish.

"You really should offer Dumbledore the Cloak."

"What? Why?"

"Because the Order has need of good supplies like Invisibility Cloaks, Sneakoscopes, things like that. Remember Moody lent one of his Cloaks to Sturgis."

"And he still hasn't gotten it back. This Cloak is a family heirloom."

"James." She said sternly. "Do you want to win this war?"

"His shoulders slumped. "Yes."

"And you want to help with winning the war, don't you?"

"...yes." He braced himself for the coming guilt trip.

"Well it seems like someone who _really_ supported the Order and wanted to defeat Voldemort would give up anything to achieve that goal."

He fingered the soft grey fabric in his hands gently. Then he sighed, knowing that Lily was right. She smiled, since she already knew he'd give in, and that she'd won. He laid the Cloak reverently over the back of his armchair and nodded. "I'll go speak to Dumbledore tomorrow."

"Thank you sweetums." Lily said, being overly sweet to make up for their "argument". "In the meantime, can you finish making your fantastic cheese sauce for the pasta?"

He smiled. "Sure."

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Alright, so sorry to keep you guys waiting. As you know from my profile if you checked it, I've been having some troubles with planning out the exact events in these last two chapters. As a result I've been writing a lot more than I was at the beginning. I wanted to make sure to touch upon certain events, certain emotions, and I wanted to do the deaths of the Potters and the arrest of Sirius properly so you guys would be happy with it. I know you can't really be HAPPY since it's a very sad ending, but I wanted to do canon justice.

65 will be a few more days in the making, and I'm really hoping that you guys enjoy this chapter and that you don't hate me too much when it's over. xD

**I WOULD LIKE TO THANK**:

_hotpinkfleur_: in every single chapter, because she is, as always, my ever-present writing advisor and friend *hug*

_My reviewers, new and old: _Thank you for your patience and for sticking around. It makes me feel like all the work was worth it. =D


	65. Chapter 65: All Hallow's Eve

**9 Years with the Marauders**: 1972-1981. Beginning in 2nd year, the trials and tribulations of the Marauders right up until the deaths of James and Lily Potter. Remus/Sirius relationship-centric. James/Lily. Warning SLASH! Contains m/m content in later chapters.

**DISCLAIMER**: All characters, locations, and bits (with a few exceptions) are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios.

**NOTES ON THIS CHAPTER**: October 31st-November 1st 1981. WARNING: This chapter contains strong language and scenes inappropriate for younger audiences.

[][][][][][]

"_What you have done on this night, Peter Pettigrew, will change the course of wizarding history."_

* * *

"It's our own little Halloween feast!" James said happily, gazing at his work. "Just like at Hogwarts."

Lily hooked her arm into his, looking up at the ceiling where a dozen candles floated. The ceiling he had enchanted to look just like an open night sky, the full moon clear and wide in the sky, heavy and yellow. "Looks fabulous."

"I couldn't figure out how to get the weather to change automatically though. I wish I had that book from 2nd year." James said, tapping his chin.

"Looks _wonderful_. I like it just how it is." Lily assured him. "I'm sure Harry will love it."

Whizzing by on the small toy broom came the infant, cackling with a Jamesian wickedness. James grabbed the broom and Harry, scooping him up and pointing him at the ceiling. "Well Harry?"

Distracted from his toy by the open night sky and candles in the usually calm dining room, Harry looked up silently, before making a grab for one of the candles. James pulled him back down and Lily laughed.

"Careful James."

"It's okay. They're non-burning flames. I didn't want to set the house on fire." James said.

Lily smirked. "You do think once and a while."

Harry in the meantime had managed to snag James' wand from his sleeve, and like most things that went into the 15 month old's hand, it immediately was stuck in his mouth.

"No Harry." Lily said quickly, snatching it from him. "Honestly we can't leave these things laying around even in our pockets. He'll end up burning his mouth. Or ruining our wands. I'll go stick this up in the bedroom. Don't forget about them." She smiled, kissing both her husband and son, and headed upstairs.

"Just the three of us tonight, Harry." James said, carting Harry off towards the living room. "It's okay, we outnumber her."

"I'll have a girl someday!" Lily called as she came back downstairs. "Then both of you will be sorry!"

She looked back at the ceiling, remembering former Halloween feasts. She felt particularly nostalgic, standing beneath the crisp-looking October sky. Quiet and a bit lonely. She sighed and headed back to the kitchen for the rest of the meal.

[][][][][][]

"_No! Not Harry! Please, not Harry!"_

* * *

"In local news, on the night of October 31st in the town of Godric's Hollow, the home of James and Lily Potter exploded in what police and fire officials are labeling a gas main combustion. Although there were no survivors in the home, any fires were minimal and did not spread to other homes in the area. All of us here extend our sympathy to the residents of Godric's Hollow who will mourn the loss of James and Lily and their infant son. In the village of Brentsire on -"

"Tonight, in the ultimate sacrifice, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was defeated! The exact nature of the spell is unknown, but at the home of James and Lily Potter a huge explosion brought the entire house down, where You-Know-Who had come to kill them. Unfortunately he succeeded, and both Potters were murdered. Little is known of their infant son Harry Potter except that he _survived_ the blast. You heard that right witches and wizards, according to witnesses – one of whom is Batilda Bagshot, author of A History of Magic – Harry Potter survived a Killing Curse intended for himself and his mother. He was ferreted away to an unknown location for his own safety, but he is believed to be responsible for the defeat of the Dark Lord! I repeat, Harry Potter, now dubbed the 'Boy Who Lived', is the reason that the wizarding world has been saved from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his dark forces!"

[][][][][][]

"It's all gone." Sirius stared at the rubble, still smoking in places.

A great hand clasped his shoulder. Sirius gazed at the remnants of a house that had once been more of a home to him than Grimmauld Place ever was. And it was gone.

"Just like that." He whispered, his throat choking. His best friend and his childhood home vanished without a trace.

"Sirius. I'm sorry." Hagrid said gruffly. His warm, black eyes were already bubbling over with tears.

"Merlin... I never... I didn't think..." Sirius' whole body felt almost ill.

"They was good people. James and Lily."

Hagrid's comfort wasn't much comfort at all. Sirius sniffed, and tasted salt. He was crying. He hadn't even been able to summon a tear at Dorea and Charlus' funeral. Maybe because as long as James was alive and the house in Godric's Hollow was there, Dorea and Charlus were never really gone. Now it was like they'd never existed at all. He turned to look at Hagrid, who was holding a small bundle of gurgling blankets in his other hand, holding a baby of a year and a half in one giant palm as though it were a cradle.

"He's all I have left." Sirius said. Well, there was Remus.

Merlin. Remus. Guilt came flooding into him like someone had punched a hole in his chest and was pouring it in by the bucketful. All this time, distrusting Remus. Thinking that Remus was the traitor.

Peter. Now guilt was replaced with rage. That squirmy, slimy little bastard. He sold them out. He betrayed the greatest trust that James had put in him ever. Even more than trusting him with secret passages back in school. His life, and the lives of his wife and child. And Peter handed them over like tickets to a really bad concert.

"I can't give 'im to you, Sirius." Hagrid said, accurately reading Sirius' thoughts.

"Hagrid, I'm his godfather, I'll look after him."

"Dumbledore tol' me..." Hagrid kept a grip on Harry, who was starting to fuss in his blanket, "Harry's to go to Lily's family."

Sirius looked at the young infant, that shock of black hair. "Hagrid, James wanted me to take care of him if something ever happened. That simpering Muggle sister of Lily's isn't going to help at all!"

"Dumbledore has plans for 'im. 'E has it all worked out. Sirius, you jus' gotta trust 'im." Hagrid said firmly.

He gave up. Hagrid might not have been a powerful wizard or even the smartest man in the Order. But he was tenacious and loyal and that meant he wasn't going to be letting Sirius take Harry.

He turned his attention back on the smoldering remains of the house. He had come more quickly than ever. Taking the motorbike for the sole purpose of ferrying away survivors. Only Harry had been there. In Hagrid's arms.

But now that he knew that Hagrid would be taking the youngest – and last remaining – Potter to Dumbledore for whatever "plans" the old wizard had, Sirius only had one thing left to do.

Find Peter. And _kill_ him.

"Alright Hagrid. You're right. Dumbledore is a better man to have him than me." Than I, his inner Remus muttered. He ignored it, and motioned to the motorbike. "You should take the bike."

"Wha?" The groundskeeper stared at Sirius as though he had just professed an interest in putting on a frilly gingham frock and dancing the cancan. "You want me to take yer bike?"

Sirius nodded. "You've got to pump the throttle a couple'a times to get her started. She's a bit testy sometimes, and it's cold out."

"Sirius, I can't take yer bike." Hagrid said with concern.

He frowned. "Take the bike, Hagrid. I'm not going to need it anymore."

Hagrid hesitated a moment. Sirius gave him his most authoritative look, and the half-giant caved, smiling sheepishly at the other man.

"Alrigh'. Be better for Harry anyhow."

"Just make sure to keep him warm." Sirius said quietly.

Hagrid tucked the infant against his chest, securely in his coat to protect him from the wind, and cooed at him a moment to get him to settle down. Then he gunned the engine, and with a jump and a roar the bike came to life, bounding into the sky and away. Sirius watched the tail lights until they were hidden by a cloud, and then he took one more look at the house.

_"This is my room. It's the most awesome room in the house." James said, flopping down on the bed._

_ "Pssh. My place at home is pretty awesome." Sirius said cockily, glancing around with a roll of his eyes._

_ "Oh yeah? What, you got a severed dragon head up on the wall? Maybe a nice silver and green color theme going on?" James sneered._

_ Sirius frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "No! The dragon's head is down in my dad's study. And our stupid ol' house elf Kreacher took away all the Slytherin stuff when I got home. Said I wasn't worthy to touch it. Like I want that garbage."_

_ "Too right." James said approvingly, gazing at the Gryffindor flag on the wall. "Gryffindors 'til the end!"_

"Gryffindors 'til the end, Prongs." He murmured, closing his eyes and spinning in place.

[][][][][][]

"Where _is_ he."

The voice hissed darkly, filled with a hatred that Adrian Gale had only recently been able to understand. He managed to get out a cocky laugh around the side of his mouth that was crushed against the moldy wall of the tavern.

"And who would that be, Black?"

"Your master is dead. You've got no reason for loyalty now. And Pettigrew is going to go the same way."

Adrian snickered. Really, it was endlessly amusing. Perhaps it was his Ravenclaw mindset. "He was so easy to manipulate. You lot treated him like garbage. A few drinks on the house and a party or two and he was all mine. He made a better asset to us than you were to Dumbledore."

Sirius slammed more weight forward, twisting Adrian's wrist just a little harder. "Tell me."

"Ah yes. The talented wizard always knows how to use his fists." Adrian scoffed. His free arm was crushed between his stomach and the wall, but he could just finagle his arm enough to loosen his wand.

"I checked Knockturn Alley. You and Peter were chummy. They seemed to respond better to a little physical stimulation." Sirius said with a clinical coldness.

"Quite the detective, Holmes. Here's a news flash. I haven't seen Peter in weeks. And I certainly wouldn't know where the coward would hide after selling out your little friend. Do you think he even feels guilt about it?" Just a bit more. He smirked. "I wonder if Potter begged for his life. Do you think he'd hand over the pretty redhead for his own survival? He seemed the type."

"Shut the fuck up. You don't know James and you never will."

"Clearly. The man is dead."

Sirius brought his fist back, releasing one hand's grip. Adrian jabbed his wand backwards. Sirius rolled out of the way of the burst of flames, and whipped out his wand.

"And now what? You can't kill me. Your precious rules and morals stop you." Adrian sneered, rolling his eyes.

"I've never been much for rules." Sirius said, calmly raising his wand. "Any hints?"

Adrian shrugged. "He used to hang out at this little coffee shop. Was stalking the head barista. Muggle girl, not really of interest, but pretty." He flicked his wand a bit, sparks coming out the end. "You won't kill me."

The dark-haired man smirked cruelly. "You forget. I come from a long line of people like you. And I'm more like them than I'd like to admit. **_Avada Kedavra_**!"

The spell flowed from his lips easily. As though he had practiced it a thousand times. The Order was technically permitted to use the Unforgivables, but refrained from doing so on Dumbledore's "suggestion". That didn't mean that Sirius was going to keep to that rule. Not when his vengeance was at stake.

Adrian dropped. Surprisingly fast. Sirius had seen Dorcas drop, but it had felt like slow motion. Now, with adrenaline pumping through his veins, the whole scene was on double time. It wasn't more than a few seconds before Sirius was stepping over the prone form of the scarred Death Eater and heading out the door.

[][][][][][]

Sirius didn't even know what time it was anymore. All he knew was that the sun was up. It felt like he had been chasing forever. But the rage was burning just as strong as when he had started earlier that night.

The streets of London were crowded. Muggles, moving about their business, trying to get to work. Wizards were out too. Almost too openly, they appeared in the crowd, setting of sparks and causing Muggles to scatter, and shouting, "TO HARRY POTTER, THE BOY WHO LIVED!" They were mostly drunk it seemed.

How could they celebrate? Didn't they know? Didn't they _realize_? James and Lily were dead and the earth kept turning, and the sun had risen? It was wrong. These people, happy and smiling, celebrating or even just able to get out of bed in the morning. Didn't they understand what Peter had done?

Finally, a coffee shop. Sirius had asked another, more "amenable" character down Knockturn, and he had pointed him to a coffee shop a little ways from the Ministry. Nondescript. There, huddled in the window. A hefty figure with a mop of wispy blond hair, his hands shaking so hard he wasn't even able to hold the teacup in his hands. Sirius stared hard as he came closer, almost as if he were trying to kill Peter with his mind.

Suddenly Peter looked up, his head jerking around in the movements of a mouse in the center of a room. And inexplicably, their eyes met. In an ocean of Muggles and people, they looked at each other, Black and Pettigrew.

And then the crowd surged around Sirius, and when it was gone, so was Peter. "_No_." He growled, and slipped to the side, his form transforming instantly from human to dog. Peter's scent was familiar and he followed it, his large and mangy form slipping around the people on the street. His focus was absolute.

In the opening of an alleyway Peter was trying to run off. Sirius was human again, and he screamed. "Pettigrew!"

Peter shrieked girlishly, his entire form completely white. Sirius scrambled for his wand. The blond burst into tears.

"Sirius! How could you, Sirius?" He suddenly cried out, and Sirius froze, wand pointed out.

"What are you-"

"James and Lily! James, your best friend! Why did you do it? Why did you join You-Know-Who!" Peter wailed, his voice pleading and desperate.

"You ratfucker!" Sirius snarled. "I never-"

"How could you kill them!" Peter shrieked even louder. Around them people were stopping and looking.

Sirius stared. Peter was going to try and pin this on him?

"He was your best friend!" Peter yelled, the point of his wand just barely visible in his hand. Sirius muttered a Shield Charm, but the jinx or hex he was expecting didn't come.

There was a bright light, and a boom so loud that everything went fuzzy. He tried to look at Peter, but couldn't see anything, spots clouding his eyes. He skidded backwards several feet, hitting the wall on the opposite side of the alley, but his Shield Charm was powerful.

When the smoke cleared and the ringing stopped Sirius gazed at the other side of the alleyway. A giant gaping hole was there, along with Peter. He watched with a certain horror and fascination as Peter sliced off his own finger, dropping it. Their eyes met one last time, and then a pile of clothes was all that remained. Sirius barely spotted a grey blur scurry down into the hole, where a sewer was waiting.

His brain was buzzing, not from the explosion, but from a realization. Peter was the spy. All along. A full year. One of the people closest to him. Closest to James. And he had turned him into the Secret-Keeper. He had handed James and Lily and Harry to Voldemort on a silver platter with a side of wine and cheese. Peter had been working for Voldemort all along.

Arms grabbed him, and he looked around, startled, struggling on instinct. They wore Ministry badges. Hit Wizards. His throat caught. Peter's words, the explosion. He faked his death while making it look like Sirius had done it. Everyone but James thought he was the Secret-Keeper. They hadn't even told Dumbledore, the one person who could save him.

A high-pitched laugh rang out. It was several moments before he realized it was his own. Pettigrew, the traitor. Pettigrew, the criminal mastermind. As they dragged him off, he couldn't stop laughing, hysteria bubbling up as his eyes gazed at the hole in the street. Pettigrew, defeater of James Potter and Sirius Black.

After all this time, after all the taunting, the teasing, the agony they bestowed upon him. It turned out Peter Pettigrew was the smartest of them all.

_**The End**_

[][][][][][]

_Epilogue_

_James stroked his fingers through Lily's soft hair. Across the room, Harry slept peacefully in his crib. His two very exhausted parents were sitting in the rocking chair. Lily was perched on James' lap, and she'd already fallen asleep on his chest._

_ Harry's mobile was spinning over his bed, the lullaby had apparently soothed both son and mother. Her cheek was somewhat smushed against James' chest, her hair was tickling his neck. But he didn't move it._

_ Everything was perfect. "This is what heaven should feel like." He murmured into the thick red locks. Lily stirred, and he stroked her cheek._

_

* * *

_

_ Remus gripped around Sirius' waist firmly. The wind was moving past them too fast. He closed his eyes, and instead focused on the large body in front of him. Sirius was strong and firm, and the perfect grip._

_"LOOOOLA-" Sirius called out in a sing-song voice._

_ Remus kicked him. He might be getting more used to the flying bike, and he might even like that he was forced to cling to Sirius in order to stay upright and not to have a panic attack, but he did not approve of the singing._

_

* * *

_

_ "Mrs. James Potter." Lily slowly drew a heart around the words with a bit of a flourish, smiling to herself. He really was quite cute. To the eleven year old, he was almost perfect. She'd have to do something about his hair though. And his friend would have to go._

_ Suddenly she felt something hit her. She looked down to see a large eyeball rolling towards her. She shrieked and stood up, and suddenly saw James with a handful of eyeballs in his hands, gazing at her with a smirk._

_ "Sorry... slipped right out of my fingers."_

_ Ten minutes and five eyeballs later, Lily picked up her quill and very firmly began to score over her little heart. Stupid James. Stupid _boys_. She resolved then and there to never think about him again._

_

* * *

_

_ He snickered, peering over the edge of the table. "Target at five o'clock."_

_ Next to him, James slowly rose up to look at their target. "Hard to miss that one."_

_ "It's the sailboat nostrils." Sirius said calmly. "I wonder if his sense of smell is all that good."_

_ "Good? Must be fantastic. Although if he can smell himself I don't know how he's lived this long." James said._

_ "Target is on the move." Sirius said, eyes following Severus as he walked the length of the Great Hall. "Repeat, Target is on the move."_

_ "Peter should be intervening in three, two..." James smirked as Peter popped up out of nowhere, slamming into Severus._

_ The Slytherin was forced off-track, snarling under his breath as he made a turn to go around Peter._

_ "Target is in line." Sirius said happily. "Peter actually did it right."_

_ "A great but pleasant shock." James agreed._

_ "Time to lay the trap. Where's Remus?" Sirius said, glancing around briefly._

_ "He refused to be present. But I've got the goods." James pulled a dungbomb out from under his robes, and lit the fuse. "He assured me that these would work."_

_ "Brilliant he is. But I do wish he'd stop being such a prude." Sirius said, watching as James rolled the dungbomb directly into the pathway of Severus. The long-nosed boy had only a moment to recognize the small sphere in his path, before it exploded._

_ Just as Remus had promised, the cloud of brown smoke was now a torrent of greenish water. Mint flavored to be exact. Drenched from head to toe and smelling of peppermint, Severus looked for the perpetrators. He wouldn't have to wait long._

_ Sirius popped up from behind the table. "Smell that Severus? It's called hygiene!"_

_ James appeared beside him. "Honestly, we're just trying to do you a favor. I know you live in a dungeon, but mold shouldn't _actively_ be growing on your skin."_

_ Snape stared, his nostrils flaring. Laughing hysterically, Sirius and James vanished, running for the door._

_ Remus was waiting outside, next to Peter. He rolled his eyes when he saw his friends' mirth. "Congratulations."_

_ James looped his arm around Sirius' neck. "Congrats indeed. Your bombs worked fantastically. I hope the smell sticks. For our sakes."_

_ "I hope it doesn't." A sharp female voice caused all four boys to look up, eyes wide. McGonagall peered down at them. "For your sakes."_

_

* * *

_

_ "Sev, look what I found." Lily rushed forward, her palms outstretched._

_ The boy looked, to see a butterfly with one crushed wing. "It's a dead bug."_

_ "No it isn't!" Lily protested. "Look, it's moving! It's still alive."_

_ "Who cares? It'll be dead soon anyway."_

_ Her eyes welled up with tears. "Stop saying that! It's a poor butterfly and it needs my help."_

_ He fell silent, looking at her. "How?"_

_ "I dunno... I was just going to try..." Lily said, bending over the butterfly. For a moment her hair obscured it. Then she raised up her hands and the butterfly flew off, completely restored._

_ He watched it go. "That was really good."_

_ She smiled. "I wanted to help."_

_ "I bet you'd make a good Healer someday, Lily." He said wisely._

_ "Oh? Is that another one of those wizard jobs?"_

_ "It's like a doctor. Only with magic."_

_ She grinned, and sat down next to him. "Tell me more about wizard jobs."_

_ He smiled back, though it was hidden a bit by his hair, and leaned forward, his shoulder just barely touching Lily's, his black eyes glittering with happiness._

[][][][][][]

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Well... there you have it. Our story comes to an end after 4 months of work, research, and fun. Really, I've enjoyed every minute of this storytelling. Sharing my creativity and having it received with such welcome by you guys has made this the best fanfiction experience I've ever had. I hope that despite the sad ending you still loved the story as much as I do.

And I'd like to remind you all that Dear Diary - the companion piece to 9 years - is already up to 3 chapters on www(dot)caitlinvanmeter(dot)com. Every Monday you can enjoy moments from 9 Years you may have forgotten, looking at them through the eyes of a young Lily Evans.

Also, next Wednesday will be the premiere of my Avatar: TLA fanfiction. Enjoy it right here on .

Again, thank you all for being here with me. I hope that you enjoyed it, I hope that you continue to enjoy it in the future, and I hope that you'll stop by again to read other works I produce.

_The End_


End file.
